Ep 107 Big Book Thumper Leaves AA After 32 Years — Carrie's Story

After 32 years in Alcoholics Anonymous, Carrie walked away from the program she once lived and breathed. A retired VA nurse, dynamic speaker, and hardcore Big Book Thumper, Carrie sponsored thousands and climbed the service ladder—until she started asking herself the one question AA fears most: Do I actually believe this?

This powerful conversation dives into indoctrination, service burnout, identity loss, spiritual manipulation, predatory behavior in meetings, and the courage it takes to walk away. If you’re questioning AA, feeling trapped, or just want to hear a brutally honest story of breaking free—this one’s for you.

Carrie's substack: https://carrieengland.substack.com/

👇 Timestamps

00:00 Intro

04:02 Indoctrinated into hardcore AA

07:38 Core issues under drinking

09:20 Drunk on AA Kool-Aid

12:20 Cracks in AA brainwashing

17:01 Retired VA registered nurse for substance abuse

18:28 Elite AA & Getting Fired by a Sponsor

22:27 "I feel scammed"

26:38 Questioning AA + Sponsor Burnout

31:40 Her Big Regret from AA

36:40 AA is a Religious Cult

37:48 Leaving AA Feels Scary

40:41 Predators in AA

45:12 The First Days After Leaving

50:20 Coming Out Online About Leaving AA

53:41 AA Myths She No Longer Believes

58:34 What Surprised Her About Leaving

1:04:03 Cults Within the Cult

1:14:00 Alternatives to AA

1:15:10 Is She Still “in Recovery”?

1:18:30 Ego, Self-Esteem & Service

1:24:25 AA as Self-Medication

1:28:06 Learning to Trust Herself Again

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