Simply Convivial: Biblical Homemaking, Homeschooling & Mom Life—Without Burnout

Your life is truly a fairy tale.

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe're all constantly narrating a story about what's going on around us. Inside our head, the ticker tape comments never stop. Is the story you're seeing and telling yourself accurate? Have you ever stopped to think about the perspective your own narrator has? Reality doesn't change based on what you think or say, but what you think or say can give you a skewed vision of reality. We should make sure the interpretations we tell ourself, the stories we spin inside our own head, line up with reality before we believe them or persist in them.Telling yourself a true story is the basic step in organizing your attitude.Need more help with this? You'll find it at www.simplyconvivial.com 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanSo, we know that our home is for hospitality, but it seems so hard – it’s extra, and we have no room for extra. We want to know how to be hospitable, but it doesn’t come naturally.The one thing that makes hospitality so difficult is that we are out of practice.It is easy to slip into selfish patterns: doing what needs to be done on our own agendas, taking a break, keeping to ourselves and our own thoughts. Instead, we need to practice the habit of hospitality.The being hospitable includes but is much broader than having people over for dinner. It means inviting people into our lives – even the people that live in our houses.It is not enough to simply share a roof with people. We need to share a life – a full life, a conversational life – with them.And that sort of life will overflow into the lives of others through invitations and conversations, but mostly through our demeanor. The way we treat people is either selfish or welcoming, inviting, and interested. When we practice that mindset and manner with our family, it will become how we treat others as well. The habit of hospitality will shape all our interactions.The ways we are hospitable to others are the same ways we are hospitable to our family. And if we are not first hospitable to our family, we cannot be truly hospitable to anyone else. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanBut when we get our picture of what hospitality should look like from the magazine rack or HGTV, we stress out and shut down.The kind of hospitality God wants us to offer, however, is not according to worldly standards. The world’s goal for hospitality is to impress. God’s goal for hospitality is to knit. Through opening our doors and our lives to one another, we grow as a community. When we gather as a church body and share a meal and our lives, our love and fellowship deepens. When we gather in those outside, we show them what it’s like inside – inside the bounds of God’s family, God’s body, God’s community.Hospitality is not about showing off or impressing others. So we do not have to postpone it until the kitchen reno is complete, until the yard is gorgeous, or until we feel ready. We simply invite others into life, as is.That said, there are 3 ways I simplify the process and make it less stressful, less burdensome, to regularly have people over. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanhttps://www.simplyconvivial.com/Pursue hospitality. It’s a command. It’s a duty. But it doesn’t mean that we all need to be having people over for dinner every week.Well, except for our people – we feed them every day, every week – three times a day, even. That’s hospitality, too.The goal of hospitality means that we see our homes as tools in the formation of people, not as trophies to be kept beautiful.As G.K. Chesterton reminds us: The business done in the home is nothing less than the shaping of the body and soul of humanity.As homemakers, we’re making hospitable homes, homes that shape the bodies and souls of humanity.Those souls’ bodies might have been shaped in our wombs or not. Those bodies might sleep between sheets we wash or not. But our goal is that all the bodies and souls under our roof for years or for hours be shaped for good by the time spent in our homes.That’s our business.Our home is for the service of building up people. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanNeed to overcome chaos? Check out this article with a free housecleaning guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/clean/No matter how much we clean and organize, it never stays that way. What gives? What are we doing wrong? The only thing we’re doing wrong is thinking it would be otherwise.Entropy is real. Disorder happens. That’s exactly why we have a job, a responsibility, as homemakers, to keep things running. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a home with many small children will be messy. And, if you ever find a magazine, tv show, or blog that does not acknowledge that reality, run. Run away. They don’t actually have help for you, only marketing facades and wishful thinking. If we’re going to be effective homemakers, we need to be walking in light of truth and reality. Did you assume you’d be a more organized mother and homemaker than you are? Did you think it’d be easier than it turned out to be? I’m right there with you. I hear from women all the time who say that before kids they *were* so organized and they don’t know why they can’t figure it out now with life with kids.I’ll tell ya: The problem isn’t with the kids or your house. It’s with your mindset and your expectations. Family life is different from project-based work and homemaking is different from a job with a boss and a schedule. Children need attention and response in the moment. Children’s needs cannot be predicted and planned, only addressed as needed. That takes a different skill set. Homemaking requires us to be self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated - a different skill set than being a good employee. At Simply Convivial continuing education we learn and practice the skill sets this family life at home requires, all while remembering that the people are the point and our work is a calling and service given to us by God. When we practice in this mindset we not only improve our skill, we also find contentment and satisfaction, even when things don’t go our way. Remember to pop on over to https://www.simplyconvivial.com/attitude to get your free attitude adjustment audit and reclaim and renew your mindset.And always remember to Repent. Rejoice. Repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanDon't miss the ABCs of decluttering workshop: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2021/the-abcs-of-doable-decluttering-with-free-workshop-replay/What is clutter? If you’re going to declutter, you have to be able to answer that question. It’s harder than it seems, and knowing the difference between clutter and not-clutter might just be the difference between success and failure in your decluttering project. Clutter is stuff that doesn’t belong where it happens to be.Clutter is not only things you don’t want or need.So to declutter means to remove the things that don’t belong. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanDeclutter Workshop with slide deck download: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2021/the-abcs-of-doable-decluttering-with-free-workshop-replay/ (no email signup required)How long is it going to take you to declutter?Decluttering can be an overwhelming project. It might feel like there’s no end and no hope in sight. You might be right about that.Declutter in 10 minutes a day and change your perspective on the task of decluttering.Did you assume you’d be a more organized mother and homemaker than you are? Did you think it’d be easier than it turned out to be? I’m right there with you. I hear from women all the time who say that before kids they *were* so organized and they don’t know why they can’t figure it out now with life with kids.I’ll tell ya: The problem isn’t with the kids or your house. It’s with your mindset and your expectations. Family life is different from project-based work and homemaking is different from a job with a boss and a schedule. Children need attention and response in the moment. Children’s needs cannot be predicted and planned, only addressed as needed. That takes a different skill set. Homemaking requires us to be self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated - a different skill set than being a good employee. At Simply Convivial continuing education we learn and practice the skill sets this family life at home requires, all while remembering that the people are the point and our work is a calling and service given to us by God. When we practice in this mindset we not only improve our skill, we also find contentment and satisfaction, even when things don’t go our way. Remember to pop on over to https://simplyconvivial.com/attitude to get your free attitude adjustment audit and reclaim and renew your mindset.And always remember to Repent. Rejoice. Repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanPerfectionism is the most likely reason that we procrastinate doing a weekly review. Perfectionism trips us up and tricks us into thinking that we will do more and do better - later, not now. In this episode, we learn how to identify perfectionism and defeat it. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe have a lot of options for planners. From paper planners to online apps, there are myriads of resources available to choose from. Yet even with all of these resources, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by overplanning, overconfident in our abilities to accomplish what "needs" to get done. In this exerpt from a members-only mentoring session, Mystie delves into this problem and explores different answers. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanHowever, to use this tool to its fullest extent, a few guidelines must be followed. Among them: don't overplan. Seems simple, right? Yet all too often, we pile too much on our plates, thinking that it would be good to start another project, start another book club, etc etc. All these projects simply degrade the usefulness of your calendar. Rather than being a list and schedule of the things you will do, it becomes a wish list of things you want to do. So reevaluate your calendar, cut off the flabby, unnecessary projects that are stressing you out, and, of course, repent, rejoice, repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanIf you don't have a weekly review in place, all your time setting up a new planner and calendar for the year is wasted. Plans only work if you look at them and keep them current and correct.A weekly review does exactly that. It's a time to make your planner and your planning systems work for you. Be sure that the time you spend getting organized actually helps you stay organized by sticking with it regularly through a weekly review.Look at your lists to make them work! 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanNot only is ready the fifth step of preparing for 2021, it is also an acronym that the members of Simplified Organization Community Coaching will be doing as a deep dive.In this video, Mystie briefly discusses the first, familiar element of the acronym as well as the final, surprising component. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanIt seems patently obvious: of course you have to buy a new planner. I mean, it's a new year, you at least need a new calendar, right? True, but think about what is connected with that calendar: the entire way you plan out you year, months, and days. What worked and, more importantly, what didn't in 2020? What do you need to fix for 2021?Next reset some of your routines. Now, this doesn't mean going all the way back to the drawing board. Just pick one of your routines that was not ideal and hard to hold to throughout the year and reset it, reevaluating your strategy.And of course, we all need to reset our attitude, no matter what. There's no doubt, 2020 has produced some bad memories, bad habits, and bad attitudes. As we all know, the attitude is the starting point of everything. So evaluate yourself, replace the bad attitude that you find with one grounded in Christ, whose birth we are celebrating this week. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanOne cannot rejoice if one is weary, exhausted, and cranky. And let's face it, 2020 has probably left us all three. So if we want to have any semblance of a productive 2021, we will need to renew ourselves.And how does that happen? Through the Word, of course. That is the point of this season: to renew ourselves, not necessarily through the copious consumption of candy, but through the memory and reverence of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, we will not find true renewal, and we will remain the tired, exhausted, cranky creatures we naturally are.So take a moment and reflect. Review the year, and while doing so, look to Christ to become renewed, ready for another year with which to glorify Him. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean2020 was a weird, hard year, but God was still doing good work through it all. We need to take the time to notice and appreciate in gratitude God's good work even amidst the confusion and difficulty.Before planning the coming year, we need to process the previous. Let's do that together through this guided practice. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWhat have you done with 2020? Is it relegated to being the punchline of every joke? If it is, then you need to review what actually happened, what you got done. Everything has a purpose, and 2020 was the harsh wake up call we all needed. Too often we focus on the negative: everything cancelled, political turmoil, etc. etc. It's easy to see that. But that's not what we need to look for. We need to look for the good, the things we got right, the things we need to fix. It's time to review, because 2020 will end and we need to be ready for 2021.So get ready for 2021 and repent, rejoice, repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWhat is the key to festivity in your household? Is it the Christmas tree, laden with ornaments? Perhaps it's the constant supply of fudge and candy, threatening your kids' teeth with cavities. What if it was none of those things?Mystie explains in this video that the key to festivity is your festivity. As the idiom goes, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So strive this holiday season to be the happy one in the household. See for yourself that when you shine festivity, you will see it come to life and reflect back to you. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWhile we enjoy spending time with our friends and family during this jovial season, we must keep our priorities and attitudes correct. These are holy days: that's where the word holiday comes from. What makes them holy, you ask? We are called to remember God's place in our lies, how He provided for our forefathers in Plymouth and how He came down, incarnate, to save us from our sin. This is the real purpose of the season, to remember and praise our Lord for the great gifts He has given us. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanHow can you enjoy your kids more? Sure you love them and all, but do you enjoy them? What does enjoying your kids even mean? Does it seem to make your children objects, rather than human beings? It shouldn't. Smile at your kids, but more importantly, smile with you kids. Watch your kids, but don't just watch them, listen to them. There are many things vying for our attention, but don't get distracted from your calling: being a good mother. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanKids love to play. That's a fact. But is it your job to play with them? That seems.... tiring. Mystie Winckler tackles this question on today's episode of Help for Homemakers. The answer may surprise (and relieve) you. Turns out you don't. Your job is not to be a child, that time has past and gone. More often than not, a grownup trying to enter into a spirit of play with the kids dampens the mood more than lightening it. Rather, you should foster an environment that facilitates good, imaginative play. As the adult, you need to fulfill your adulting duties faithfully to allow your children to be children. Is this easier than playing with your kids? Perhaps, perhaps not. Just remember, easy isn't the measure of good. Raising kids isn't easy, but it's what we are called to do. Of course, we may fall down along the way, but get back up and repent, rejoice, repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanIf you've ever tried to break bad habits and build better ones, you've probably worked hard at consistency.We want to be more consistent, but what if more consistency is not the secret sauce we actually need? What if it will never work? Today's episode, on the podcast and on the YouTube channel, is all about choosing perseverance over consistency - and how and why it's more important and more applicable to our lives as mothers at home.Consistency is about achieving sameness, but the reality is that life is never the same, so we aren't going to succeed at consistency. It is not the magic that we assume it will be.Perseverance might not be glam or magic, but it does apply and it does work. We need perseverance because we have an end goal we're running toward, and no matter what, we need to keep running on until we reach that prize - glory, God's, not ours. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments. The end of the day is when we ought to be tired because we've been pursuing the good works God has set before us. When we're tired at the end of a long day at home, you know what we need? We need to go to bed. Astonishing, I know. Yet it seems to be common advice rarely taken - like so much good advice offered.It's not wrong or bad or weak to need rest. It's silly to forego it for mere distraction. Let's get into the habit of putting ourselves to bed at a reasonable hour. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe all often feel tired, even exhausted, at the end of the day. So we wonder - Are we doing something wrong? How do we find the strength to keep going, day after day, and not give in to despair or fatigue?We can build up perseverance by practice, when we practice the right things in the right way.We all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments. We all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments. If you relate, if you want to overcome your exhaustion with perseverance - know that it is easier to do that in company than alone. You are not alone in your desire to do well at home. At Simply Convivial Continuing Education we have direction, accountability, and community support for digging in deep to our own unique roles and responsibilities. We don't have pat answers or get organized quick schemes. We do have gospel-centered and principle-based help for you to take the next steps in building perseverance, consistency, and also joy in your life at home. Head on over to simplyconvivial.com and click the green enroll button to learn more and get the help and support you need.And, also, always - Repent. Rejoice. Repeat. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanSimply getting more done does not actually matter. We need to be doing the right things and focusing on what's important, not superficial results. We don't need to be fully functional machines, cranking out widgets; we need to be well-watered trees producing abundant harvests of mature fruit.How we think about our lives and what's on our to-do list matters. This month, we're reorienting our thinking towards living fruitfully. Subscribe and stay tuned as we explore this topic and implement it in our lives.If you feel like the work you do each day is meaningless or worthless or unfulfilling, that is a problem that needs to be addressed. If it's true, why do it? If it's not true, how can you change your mindset, your feelings, your perspective on the work God's given you? We can help. Inside Simply Convivial Continuing Education, we have courses, podcasts, live workshops, and a not-on-facebook community to help you figure out not only what needs to be done and why, but also how to do it with joy. Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education today to get the support and insight you need to find joy and satisfaction in your life at home.https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanMaybe you start off homeschooling with grand visions and high hopes. Maybe you change your approach and your style and think that will fix the bad days and the bad attitudes.It turns out that even in spite of best laid plans, principles, and practices, we’re teaching real children.They don’t always like what they should. They don’t always want the true, good, and beautiful. Sometimes (oftentimes) they even complain.What’s a homeschool mom to do?Maybe you spot it in the sloppy work, or the sighs and slouching. Often the children are not reluctant to voice their opposition: They don’t like the book. They hate fractions. They don’t want to write an a that way.And then you come upon those “inspiring” quotes at the end of a bad day:The question is not, – how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education – but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? – Charlotte MasonAnd you know you’re in trouble, because your child is certain he doesn’t care, not one bit.In fact, maybe just that morning he muttered or even exclaimed, “I hate nature walks!” True story. It happens.Have I failed? Is it time to give up?No, not yet.I haven’t failed. I just know what my task is now.As both the mother and the teacher, it is our job to make our kids care.Our job isn’t to help them pass tests or memorize facts or check boxes.Our job is to make them care.C.S. Lewis, Augustine, and Aristotle tell us it is so:St. Augustine defines virtue as ordo amoris, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind and degree of love which is appropriate to it. Aristotle says that the aim of education is to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought.It’s our aim. It’s our job, not a byproduct we hope for, but what we’re trying to do.And it’s oh so much harder than checking boxes, isn’t it? 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

IF you are obeying the One Whom you ought to obey, you will be happier, because you'll be doing what you were created to do.

You don't necessarily need to add more productive hours into your day. You need to add more true rest to your day if you want to manage your time better.

Mornings can be hard. These ten tips will help you be ready to start your day strong.

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanLearn more at https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanGet help living this out in the day to day: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanAll the time I hear and see the question: How do you, as a busy homeschooling mom, make the time to read? Yes, they ask because they want to know how I fit in reading, but more broadly, they ask because they want to know how any mom even possibly can. It feels difficult, nigh impossible at times, and we can wonder if now is just the wrong season for trying to get any reading done at all. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanPerhaps you've been told that as a mother, you need to write a vision statement for yourself and your family in order to succeed. In this video, Mystie Winckler discusses the efficacy of vision statements and their inherent flaws in providing purpose to a Christian mother. The fact is, you don't find your vision statement deep inside yourself, but through the Bible and Christ. So instead of looking to yourself to find answers and meaning, look to Christ and pray to find your true purpose; that is the only way to truly succeed as a mother, or even as a human being. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean1. Have a creative hobby.God is a maker, and we are little sub-makers. Being creative is human. Having a creative outlet helps us feel connected and whole. Knitting, baking, sewing, sketching, painting, gardening, writing, decorating: finding a way to make beauty is actually a very important outlet that we need.The book Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer develops this very well, giving plenty of ideas and examples. I also have a short interview with Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary about how and why to make time for creativity.2. Keep a regular prayer time.“Prayer is the most important part of the thankfulness God requires of us,” teaches the Heidelberg Catechism. We need to stay in step with God through prayer, as He requires: “Pray without ceasing.” We make this optional and skip it to our own detriment. God’s peace surrounds us when we pray with thanksgiving, the Bible teaches. If we don’t have peace and we don’t pray about it, we shouldn’t be surprised by it.3. Lock the bathroom door.Three minutes of solitude really isn’t too much to ask. Little fingers might still peak underneath the door and wails might still be audible, but a few minutes “cloistered” away is not unreasonable. In fact, it’s a good way to teach the children that moms are people, too, who require at least some dignity and respect.4. Dress respectfully.Speaking of dignity and respect, I find it helps when I dress it. I have nothing against cute yoga pants, but there’s a world of difference between cute yoga pants and ratty old sweats. When I regularly dress sloppily, it doesn’t take long before I feel as crummy inside as I look outside. Taking a few minutes in the morning to do my hair, apply mascara, and put on clothes I wouldn’t be embarrassed to go out in not only lifts my own mood, but also teaches through my actions and appearance that home and motherhood are worth respecting and honoring.My current summer favorite is a knee-length skirt with a yoga-pant waistband I found at Costco. It looks dressy and nice, but is cool and comfortable. With a blouse it’s fancy, and with a tee or tank it’s casual and breezy.5. Get up & have a morning routine before the kids are up.I know, I know. It’s really hard. I don’t deny it. But, I don’t think you can deny that starting off the day with a little quiet and space makes for a better start and a smoother day than one where we hit the ground running.I’ve learned that if I don’t get up before the kids, exercise and prayer time simply won’t happen, so I have to prioritize getting up in the morning if I want to prioritize my own health and sanity.What small steps do you take that help you stay calm and maybe even cheerful through the day to day? 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanAre you always busy yet never getting to what seems must be done? Do you feel pulled in a million directions all the time? Inside Simply Convivial we clear away the clutter not only in our homes, but also in our hearts and on our to-do lists. By sorting through what's actually going on and what's actually needed, we each are able to figure out our own callings and how to dig in to those with cheerful goodwill.Starting July 3, we'll begin our 4th Simplified Organization Community Coaching group. These groups work through all three of the Simplified Organization courses over the course of six months, figuring out their vocations and what to do about that, creating planning habits that work with real family life, and taking responsibility for their homes. With extra support, accountability, checklists, and video meet-ups, we walk together through all the pieces that make up our home duties. The kickoff workshop is July 3 and we'd love to have you join us. It's included in membership, but you have to join the small group before we get started on July 3 or wait until January for the next group. Go to SimplyConvivial.com and click Enroll to learn more. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanEspecially as stay-at-home moms it can be so hard to know how we're doing because we look at the standards and the definitions of success that come from the business world or the personal achievement world. We know those are not our worlds, yet we don't know where else to go for an understanding of how to get more done, how to better influence our people, and how to measure our successfulness.Let's look at why we feel like failures and why we feel discouraged, and why that's all part of the package of actually being faithful in our roles as mothers at home. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanThere really is no such thing as time management. There’s only self-management. You don’t use your time better and end up with more. Usually it seems less time because of how we spent it, though there are things we can do to maximize what we get out of the time we have.Time management is all about the decisions we make regarding our time, decisions for ourselves and not the time. Time is external from us. It is not something we can control, manipulate, or change.When we’re talking about time management, what we’re actually needing to manage is ourselves. To maximize our time we must practice self-control and self-management. We must make better choices and decisions.We all feel like there's too much to do, but with the right perspective and realistic expectations, we can use our situation for growth instead of discouragement because we know neither ourselves nor our situation is stagnant or permanent. Get help figuring this out in your own life with Simply Convivial Continuing Education: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanHow to menu plan 6 weeks at a time.Take stock of what’s in your freezer already. I had a ham, some pork, and beef soup bones in addition to the chicken breasts and frozen meatballs I usually have.Fill in any special days coming up: birthdays, eating out, friends over – if you already have plans on certain days, mark those.Decide on some standard day-of-the-week dinners. We do chicken on Mondays. I can do chicken a lot of ways, but every Monday morning, I know I need to go grab some chicken out of the basement freezer. Wednesdays are crockpot days at our house. Assign a certain type of meal to some of the days of the week.Fill in variations those assigned dinner types for the next six weeks. If you spread out your different options for chicken or crockpot dinners, you’ll not feel like you’re cooking and eating the same thing every week.Start filling in other dinner options. Think about how much time or energy is usually left by the end of the day on certain days of the week. What days are you more likely to feel like cooking and what days are good for pulling out the frozen meatballs? I usually alternate weeks on some meals – Tuesday one week might be a tortilla meal and then rice the next. Planning in six weeks chunks helps make rotations like that simpler to plan.Make sure you plan the vegetable and side if you need one as well as the main dish. See my post on Menu Planning: Think in Threes for more about planning a complete meal.Each and every dinner will not happen as planned for the next six weeks, but the plan is in place so that I don’t have to think about it anymore. If I need a dinner plan, there’s one on my calendar. If I feel like getting creative, I can just move the dinner to another day or simply delete that day’s plan. But having the plan in place means I don’t have to panic at 4pm that I had forgotten to think about dinner.And that’s why I did it.Plan ALL the meals!Mystie Winckler explains how she stays on top of cooking dinner every day without becoming overwhelmed. The secret? Take half an hour of your day to plan out ahead of time what this month's meals will be. After that, just create your master pantry list so that you don't get sidetracked shopping and you will have all the materials to cook delicious dinners every day. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanDinner happens every day (or at least I think it's supposed to). So what can we do to make that process easier, simpler, faster? Today, we're going to talk about a few techniques that will help you get dinner on the table with less effort and in less time.We want the “making of dinner” to be easier, right? When we're looking for kitchen tips and shopping trips and menu planning ideas and meal planning strategy is really a lot of what it all comes down to is the goal of making dinner easier. And one of the reasons why we feel that need or desire to make dinner easier is that it feels like it's harder than it needs to be. And I think that part of what's underneath that feeling of it being harder than we expect it or want it to be is that we think of dinner and just cooking the food and putting it on the table when there are really all these other pieces that have to happen before that can happen and we aren't taking into account the whole process and when we do take that it into account then it seems overwhelming. There are so many pieces and so many parts and they all relate and affect all the others and where do I even start and how do I even make all of this work together? And that's why you get services that will just give you the recipes and the shopping list and plot It out by day and say this is what you're going to do (or even that show up on your doorstep with the groceries and the recipes and the meal plan) because it feels like magic or some crazy skill that we just can't figure out to get all of those pieces and parts to work together, but we don't need those kind of solutions when we simplify. And if you choose a kind of subscription service you're simplifying because you're removing your decision-making from the process and that's simplifying and that's helpful because it's really decision-fatigue that wears us down if we have to decide what we're going to make for dinner, then look through the pantry and see what we have, and so decide what we have to buy, decide when to go to the grocery store, have that list, and get the right things, then decide to do what's on the plan—that’s a part of the decision-fatigue decision and it all becomes messy and involved and requiring a lot of initiative and mental energy from us and a lot of times we feel like that's not where my best energy and best work needs to be right now. Like, I've got these other things spinning, does dinner really have to take this much? And the answer is that it does not. At least not long-term, maybe a little bit in order to set it up and get some habits and systems in place to simplify it so that moving forward and practicing it it doesn't have to take all that out of us.Are you overwhelmed by the daunting task of cooking dinner for your family every single day? Learn how to plan & cook dinners without all the fuss by just taking stock of your pantry and making a list of favorite dishes.Cook Dinner With Less Stress 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanIt's easy to slip into feeling like dinner is a drag, like it's an interruption, like it's something we just really rather not do. But since we do need to serve dinner everyday, why not learn how to enjoy cooking more? It truly is possible!Of course, there are times where it just doesn't happen or it doesn't work out or we don't have the time, and so we have plan B meals. We have takeout—there’s pizza (whatever) sometimes that happens. But as a general rule if we are walking into the kitchen and feeling downcast and downtrodden because we have to fix another meal it’s really not the kitchen work that has to change or a new plan we have to make unless that plan is about our attitude. Today I have three tips to help us learn how to enjoy cooking more:Plan and reserve enough time to make dinner without rushing.Intentionally cultivate and practice cooking skills.Understand that cooking is relational and meaningful.We need a plan to fix our attitude, not a plan for fixing dinner. We've got to fix dinner. We have to fix our attitude first and even while we fix dinner. And when we can repent of our bad attitudes about our responsibility to feed our people we will find not just that we dread making dinner less, or we are resent the obligation on our day, or the mess in our kitchen that dinner makes, instead of looking at all those things as impositions on us, we can take it in stride as a part of our responsibility and duty and not just do it out of drudgery, but actually enjoy it. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanI had a dream. And in this dream my pantry always had everything I needed. I never ran out of ingredients to make dinner. I would go to the pantry, pull out what I needed to make dinner that day and it’d be there—no surprises. I had achieved well-stocked pantry perfection.But it turns out that making this dream a reality was much harder than I thought it would be. Still, it’s worth the effort to keep a well-stocked pantry. So, let’s talk about how to do just that.So, you go to make spaghetti and there’s no tomato sauce. You go to make soup and there’s no chicken broth. You think you’ll make tuna noodle casserole and then there’s no tuna or no noodles, or neither. This is frustrating. And it illustrates one of the troubles of menu planning.Menu planning isn’t just coming up with ideas of what’s for dinner. It’s managing this whole magic of having the idea of what’s for dinner, having the ingredients for that dinner on hand, starting dinner at the right time, on the right day, and of course, keeping it all frugal and within budget. There’s a lot that goes into keeping a menu plan. It takes practice. And with practice comes skill. But we need to practice—not just making a list and following that list, the menu planning proper—we also have to manage that pantry ingredient, grocery shopping side of things that makes the meal planning possible.It’s really this whole separate piece that if we aren’t aware of it, managing it, keeping track of it, then that menu plan that we’ve worked on doesn’t work. And we’re thrown back to plan B, or takeout, or frozen fish sticks (if those are in the freezer). So, what does it take to keep a well-stocked pantry? What is in a well-stocked pantry? What should be in your pantry? What should be in my pantry? How do we know that? And then, how do we keep our pantry well-stocked while feeding people three times a day?There are four important steps to keeping and using a well-stocked pantry.Know what your family actually eats and keep a master list of those items you actually use.Determine how much your family consumes of each pantry staple in a week or month.Check your pantry stock before grocery shopping – every time.Keep what’s in your pantry rotated so you use the oldest items first.The Pantry Stock ProblemI know when I was newly married and stocking our pantry for the first time I felt at a loss. There’s so much food at the grocery store. There are so many options. How do I even know what to buy?Sometimes we solve that conundrum by making a menu plan first and then buying the food that we need for those meals that we’ve planned for and that works. But it actually takes a lot longer to make that menu plan, to grocery shop for that menu plan, to follow the recipes, and to just make it all work.We can cut down on the time and energy that it takes to make our meals if we become pantry cooks. If we keep a regular stock on hand and then base our meals off of those things that we just always keep on hand. It’s actually in limiting our choices that things take less effort, energy, attention, time. Not only that, but when we function within limits, our creativity is called into play. It’s needed. And so choosing dinners based out of a pantry system is not only more efficient, it’s also more creative. But the question still comes down to what is in the pantry? And it’s certainly something that takes experience to build up, experimentation to figure out, and iteration and flexibility in continuing it. One of the things that I tried to do the first time I was stocking a pantry was look up that Martha Stewart list of what belongs in your pantry. I didn’t know what should be in our pantry but I figured someone else knows what I should buy, and so I took Martha Stewart’s list and stocked our pantry with the things she said that we should have.And you know what? A lot of that I didn’t really use. I had to be creative and use what I purchased, but I quickly realized that a lot of what Martha Stewart considered pantry basics I did not and I was not going to use and I was not going to restock. We all need to go through that process of figuring out what belongs in our own well-stocked pantry. There is no single definition, single master pantry list that we can all use as a standard, and as long as we follow this list then we have a well-stocked pantry. No, a well-stocked pantry simply means that our pantry has on hand multiples of the items that we consistently use in our cooking.There’s going to be a lot of overlap from what’s in your pantry and what’s in my pantry, but the identical lists, the master lists made by some expert, or my list used by you, or your listed used by me, is not going to work.We each need to go through that process of figuring out what we actually use regularly and keeping those things on hand A well-stocked pantry is not a full pantry. A well-stocked pantry is a pantry that has plenty of what you actually use. If your pant

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe need to stop striving for having ducks in a row and admit that ducklings actually waddle where they will, leaving sloppy footprints as they go. We need to stop believing the marketers who tell us we're only 5 containers and 1 label maker away from achieving the state of organization. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanAn index card organization system predates blogs and word processors. It’s a thing, and it works because it uses a simple principle.Back in our first year or two of marriage, a good friend and I talked at least weekly about all things homemaking. We were figuring out our new role, and we wanted to do well in it.So, of course, we read the books.One of the books was straight off my mom’s shelf: Sidetracked Home Executives.I could relate to these ladies. They had ideas, they had things they wanted to do, and both the housework and the state of the house (because the work wasn’t being done) was getting in their way.They came up with a creative solution to break up the housework into manageable chunks and make sure they did it regularly without expecting themselves to recognize that it needed to be done or deciding each day what needed to be done.Yes, that’s right. They came up with a housework routine. Now, that alone is not creative or unusual, although there are points at which they seem to think it’s revolutionary.When you suffer from decision fatigue and a tendency toward procrastination or distract ability, however, a routine certainly can be revolutionary.What was creative in their approach was how they tracked their routine. It was an index card organization system.Pam Young and Peggy Jones were organizing their chores with index cards before homeschoolers were doing it with their memory work.In a day with apps and pretty planners galore, is an index card organization system out of date or still useful? Could this book so clearly from the ’80s still be relevant?If you want to accomplish your housework regularly without having the excuse to check your phone, you might consider their index card organization system.However, whether you use index cards, a list, an app, or any other implementation, you certainly can and should use the principle behind this method: Loop scheduling.The index card organization system developed and popularized by Sidetracked Home Executives is, at heart, a loop schedule for housework, just like Sarah Mackenzie’s housework routine – only Sarah uses a plain list instead of a box of index cards.Indeed, index cards can be rather fiddly. They can easily get mixed up, lost, or ruined. However, there are also advantages to running a loop schedule housework routine on index cards:1) You can decorate the cards.2) You can take notes on the cards.3) You can easily reassign the cards.4) You can easily delegate the cards.The index cards are not really the point, though, nor what makes the system work.What makes an index card organization system work is that it relies on three strategies:1) It eliminates decision fatigue.2) It holds the information you need and makes it easy to find and grab.3) It keeps track of what’s next for you.You can accomplish the same outcome with an app like Home Routines or even ToDoist, you can get the same benefits by keeping the same information in checklist form, and you can simply add your recurring chores onto your weekly dashboard.But what won’t give you this same peace of mind and effectiveness is simply printing someone else’s master cleaning list. We are tempted to shortcut the decision making process not by writing down and figuring out (through trial and error) what will work for us, but by finding someone who will tell us what to do.Even this index card organization system will do that if you buy the book. They’ll tell you which chores to write on cards and what frequency to arrange them in.We search for the “ready to go” plan not because we want to avoid decision fatigue, but because we think that our past inconsistency and failure disqualifies us from making our own workable plan.If this other lady – whether in a book, real life, or on the internet – has a plan that works for her, then I know it works, right? If it works, I don’t have to take responsibility. I can just adopt her plan and get her results – right? I haven’t removed decision fatigue at that point; I have removed personal engagement with the problem.Unfortunately, too often we don’t want to go through the process of getting organized, changing both our mindset and our methods, we just want a quick fix solution.Most likely, someone else’s plan will not work for you in a cut-and-paste sort of a way. It might be a great shortcut to developing your own workable system – even one with index cards – but you will have to mix with brains and practice before it actually works for you.Ready to make a housekeeping routine, a housework loop schedule, or even an index card organization system that works for you? 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanThe daily card is a term that we use from Work the Plan for your daily to do list. So, you might have a planner and the question is whether or not you use the planner correctly; if we actually use what’s written in the planner to direct our days? And the daily card can be just a card, just a post-it, an index card, or it can be a section in the planner. But the point of it is to keep a very truncated, limited, small set of tasks for that day alone. So, you make a list of the top priorities for that day. And you re-do that every day. You might make it the night before, or you might make it the morning of, but you’re not making a daily card for every day of the week during your Weekly Review. Every day you’re renewing your task list and adjusting because sometimes the needs and the priorities of where our attention needs to go for the day do really adjust on a day-by-day basis, and I think now more than ever, we recognize that. How do you decide what your daily three are? Can it be in all different kinds of formats? Are the tasks typically habitual things? How do you keep wishful thinking off the daily card? People often say, “Mine turn into a daily brain dump so I struggle with knowing which three.”Knowing what to put on the card—that is the hardest part for everybody. And so, what we have to remember is the reason why we do a daily card every single day is for the practice so that we keep iterating, we keep learning, we learn from the previous day, and implement that the next day. So, the more and more we practice, the better and better we get at knowing what needs to go on the list. If you’ve made a daily card before and you find at the end of the day that really what you put on your list was wishful thinking and not what actually was important to do today that’s something to think about. That’s what you adjust moving forward. And what I found when I recognized that as well, was that I make a better daily list when I do it the night before rather than the morning of (and that’s not a universal thing.) It really depends on person to person. But, for myself, when I stop at the end of the day and I look at the list that I made for that day and see what did and didn’t happen, I make a more realistic plan for the next day when I’m tired and wishing I had accomplished what was on my list. And also recognizing the wishful thinking or how things changed that day that made the priority shift. Or recognizing, ‘Okay, I put that on my list and I didn’t do it, I’m procrastinating that. It needs to keep going on the list and I’m going to put it on there.’ In the morning, I feel more like, ‘Oh, fresh start, everything’s possible!’ I tend to be more energetic and optimistic in the morning and my to do list will reflect that. So, I make a more realistic to do list if I do it the night before. Your mileage may vary, but the point really, is to try it out. Try different times, try different formats, try different ways to write out your list, and learn. So, think of each daily list as an experiment and you can apply what you’ve learned to the next day’s card. At Simply Convivial we do not believe in one-size-fits-all solutions, plans, or check lists. I’m all about teaching you the principles and the skills that you need to figure out what’s going to work for you in your particular situation with your particular needs. If that’s what you need then make sure to subscribe and check out some of my other videos, including my series on Getting Your Life Organized in One Week. Check those out here. Always remember that your attitude is the most important part of your organization project. So, repent, rejoice, repeat. See you next time. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanWe all know the feeling. There’s just too much to do. Do you ever feel like the more you have to do the less you actually get done? That’s a real thing. There’s a reason for that. And it’s decision fatigue. The first step that you have to do to prevent decision fatigue and then to get started is decide what to actually do next. It seems simple but it can be hard. The more options there are, the more that’s rattling around in your head, the more thought and energy it takes to come to a conclusion and just get started. Let me show you how to streamline the decision-making process so you can do what needs to be done no matter how long or short your to do list is. Let’s dig in.So, let’s figure out how to make our to do lists short and simple, so we can actually get them done each day.Step one is that you actually need two to do lists. One is your master list. A running list of all the things that need to happen; big or small, routine or not. Everything that needs to happen needs to be written down and kept. But that’s not your to do list that you actually work from day to day. Think of it like the safe-keeping place so that you’re not keeping track of everything in your head—you’re keeping things safe and written down where you can refer to it as needed, jog your memory, where you’re not afraid you’re going to lose something or forget something.Then, you need the actionable daily to do list. You can choose from that master list what goes on today’s list, but the list that you’re making for today is short. It’s prioritized. It’s a list of what’s most important today. Sometimes that’s going to be something that’s not even on your master list. Days are like that. Keeping a daily to do list allows you that flexibility you need to adjust to real life as it unrolls. Your daily to do list then is a prioritized list. It is not even all the things that you will do. It is your top three things for the day, the three things that, if you do those it’s going to be better tomorrow. The three things that are going to make a difference. It’s easy to get distracted of the little things that pile up but then we end up never getting to those important things that aren’t necessarily urgent. This short daily to do list is where we make sure that we do not lose sight of what’s important in our days. Now, we need to keep this to do list short because we don’t have unlimited time, we don’t have unlimited energy either. So, we have to choose. We have to make tough choices and then we need to write them down so that we can stick with those choices. And we make this list every day because every day our time is a little bit different—the time we have available, the kind of energy that we have available—and so we can look at what we actually have by looking at our calendar, looking at our commitments, and we can choose what’s most important. Sometimes, appointments might take up all day and so we don’t want to write a list that assumes we’ll be able to get a lot of home projects done. Or maybe even any of our routines done. Our daily to do list is made in light of the reality of today. It takes practice and experience to know how to pick a viable, realistic top three. It’s not something that anyone can tell you what you should pick. It’s something that you have to think about, figure out, try, experiment, iterate, and continually learn from your own experience by evaluating how it went, making observations, and moving forward in light of what you learn. In this way, with this daily practice of learning how we work, learning what our real responsibilities are, recognizing what we tend to procrastinate on, and seeing what’s really important. In this practice, over time, we make better and better choices. And, because those are self-determined choices that we know are realistic and necessary, we also grow in our self-motivation and momentum and follow through in actually doing them. And that’s really what we’re after. So, you need to identify your priorities. That’s hard to do but you’ll get better at it with practice. So, practice every day and write three to do’s down on a daily index card. You will, of course, do more in a day than the three things written down on your index card, but if you start with what’s most important, you’ll feel better about how you’ve used your time and you’ll probably even get more done in the long run because you’re focused and clear. You’ll see you’re spending your time well. We tend to waste more time in distraction and indecision when we aren’t working from a clear list. So, give it a shot. Try it out. And let me know in the comments below how it’s working for you. At Simply Convivial we do not believe in one-size-fits all plans. I’m all about teaching you the principles and the skills that you need to figure out what’s going to work for you in your particular situation with your particular needs.Always remember that your attitude is the most important par

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanHave you ever been frustrated trying to use a planner? Have you ever worried that you spend more time writing in your planner and decorating your planner than actually doing what that pretty plan tells you to do? Let me share my quick planner hack that streamlines the process and keeps me focused on the most important things to do each day. Let’s dig in.I know, planners are pretty. They’re fun. But a lot of the ones that we can buy pre-printed, packaged, ready to go are actually over kill. They contain sections and questions and areas that maybe (maybe!) work for the person who designed it and implemented it, and maybe they work for some people, but just because a tactic or a format works for one person does not mean that it’s the thing that will work for anyone and everyone.Instead of searching for and continually trying for that planner that will magically, suddenly make us into planners—not just make a plan but then do the plan—we need to find planning strategies that are simple, streamlined, and personalized. And that’s the planner hack I have for you today. Try to figure out what you need to make a consistent daily plan that actually works. We have to think about what the point of it all really is. Why have a planner in the first place? Why write things down? And you’ve probably thought about that already, maybe in the spirit of ‘Do I have to?’ or ‘What’s the point because I seem to just be wasting my time?’ And the reality is that a lot of planning is wasting time, but that’s because of the kind of plan that we make and not that all planning is always a waste of time.When we make plans that are based on wishful thinking that’s a waste of time. We need to plan for right now, our current reality, our current responsibilities, and then our plan will be effective. I think that a good question we can ask is, what’s the least amount of effort that I have to do to create an effective plan, a plan that I will use and follow through on? And my answer to that question is all you need is a post-it note!Using a post-it note to make our daily plans helps us remember that not only our time, but even our energy and our attention, our abilities, are limited. We can’t do everything that we might be keeping on some other to do list. We have to pick the things that are most important. And then we write down the things that are most important on a small piece of paper that we can keep in front of our face. Then we are more likely to follow through on tasks because they’re not vague, nebulous “I coulda, shoulda, some day do this thing.” We have specified and written down and thought about what it is we actually have to do. So, on your post-it note every day, at the beginning of the day or maybe at the end of the day (the day before) write down your top three things. That’s a hard thing to do. It’s a skill that we have to practice. And we will get better and better the more we practice it at choosing what those top three things really are. But the exercise of having to choose, having to narrow it down and pick three, is all a part of what makes it actually work because the best planning is mostly a thinking exercise. It’s not that in writing something down it’s more likely to happen. In reality, it is having thought about it and putting our priorities and what we need to be paying attention to top-of-mind and visible in front of our faces that makes it actually able to happen. Our minds are for thinking and we need to give ourselves the time and the prompts to actually think about what’s most important just today. And the daily card (or post-it note) is an exercise that helps us do just that. Because we are limited—we’re limited in time, we’re limited in resources, we’re limited in energy—our to do list also needs to be limited. And the tiny size of a post-it note is a visible reminder of that. Writing what needs to happen out by hand every day helps us focus on our priorities. It allows us to adjust the plan as needed as life unfolds. And it puts our responsibilities right in front of our face. The great thing about a post-it note is that it’s sticky. I can put this on the top of the computer monitor. I can put this on the front cover of my planner so that it’s right there. I can put it on the back of my phone and have it right with me in my pocket. A post-it note is super flexible and can help us keep our priorities visible. And that’s really key because a planner (no matter what kind of planner) will not work unless you look at it! So, I challenge you to try out this quick, simple, cheap option for your own daily to do list. Try it for at least a week. Give it a fair shot. Practice and see what happens. Over at Simply Convivial I’ve put together a Daily Card Quick Start Guide that will help you get going with this small, simple habit. It will teach you how to make and use this card (or post-it note) every day and give you a checklist so that you can hold yourself acc

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanTransformation Tuesday is our answer to the complicated, overbearing cleaning and organizing checklists out there.You don’t need to clean by someone else’s schedule.Instead, see what needs to be done in your own home, and spend 10 minutes improving the order and organization there.Transformation Tuesday is one of my little homemaking mottos that helps me tackle housecleaning in small bites and tame my attitude at the same time. Cleaning and decluttering should just be a small piece of your weekly cleaning routine. When we wonder how to organize our life, we usually think about containers, labels, and homes that magically stay clean without further effort. But someone who is organized is someone willing to continue taking the effort of homekeeping, to maintain the work consistently.Transformation Tuesday is a catchy reminder to spend 10 minutes once a week cleaning or reorganizing a small area that will positively affect at least your peace of mind and maybe even your personal productivity.No one can tell you what that area ought to be. Each week you pick the thing that’s bothering you, that’s holding you up, that’s the biggest (small) problem area. Each week you take just ten minutes and make an improvement in order and tidiness in that small spot.This accomplishes more than just the small amount of order. It also, gradually, changes our perspective and attitude about organization itself.When organizing an area is no longer a huge, overwhelming, whole-closet or whole-house project, but just a ten minute focus, we overcome our mental and emotional hurdles to becoming more organized.We aren’t going for night and day or for whole-new-self change. We’re just going for 10 minutes of better. We succeed at that. We appreciate the difference it made. We are less devastated when the work is inevitably undone by normal, everyday entropy. After all, it was only ten minutes. We can do that again.And when you do, take a before and after picture! Share on Instagram with the #simplyconvivial hashtag and tag me. We’re forming an open, honest, real-life community of homemakers who spur one another on to cheerful attitudes and good work at home. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanI wanted to talk about decluttering as a habit because there’s this rumor floating out there on decluttering (from experts and gurus) who say that “decluttering can be done once and for all.” That it’s a project you finish and check off and be done with (which is really what we all want to hear, isn’t it?). We really want it to be something that we can achieve: “Achievement unlocked! We are now decluttered and forever and all time, moving forward. Now we have the right habits, the right house, the right organization. We won’t have to do that again!” That’s just not the way it really is in real life. Not our kind of real life anyway. Not family life. Not home life where you have a lot of people in one house actually living a full life—which means a lot of stuff—and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. I think there’s a lot of hope and happiness pinned even on minimalism (on eliminating as much as stuff as possible) as if I manage to do [that], get [that achievement unlocked] then I will be happy. Then I will be a good housekeeper. Then I will love my house. Then my family won’t drive me crazy. Then the lights shine brightly and angels sing, “la” and we have achieved our housekeeping, homemaking goal! Decluttered once and for all, now we can move forward and do this thing right.And that appeals to our desire to achieve our ambition. It appeals to just wanting to be done. To figure things out and do things right. But the reality is that stuff comes into our house still and it’s just something we have to keep up with. It’s just one more thing—like dishes and the laundry and meals—that has to be continually addressed. We should declutter in order to use our space wisely, but our life changes, our needs change, sometimes our house situation changes, the ages of our children and their stages change, and we need to adjust. We will continually go through that process of figuring out, “Well, I saved this because I thought I would need it. These are just questions in wisdom and stewardship that we need to be continually asking and assessing and working through because life and our situations change and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not because we’re doing it wrong, it’s not because if we had this thing figured out we wouldn’t have to anymore. When the stuff is used as the measure stick it’s just wrong. It’s not going to work. It’s not true. It’s not accurate. And it focuses us on the wrong things. So, the stuff is just stuff that we do have to manage and steward. There isn’t a universal one-size fits all plan for how much stuff you ought to have, what you ought to keep, what you ought to get rid of. So, decluttering will be put in its proper place if we think of it as a habit and not as the holy grail, the step that we need to complete in order to take the next steps of perfect homemaking. And so, if instead of thinking of it as a project that we’re going to finish, we think of it as a habit we’re going to build, it breaks it down, we take smaller steps, we work it into our routines and our awareness in the smaller chunks of time and energy, and in the end we actually make more progress because we’re continually applying ourselves to it, we aren’t frustrated because it’s not complete yet because we’re not expecting it to be complete, and we aren’t waiting to make other steps and other changes until it’s over and complete. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanSo, we talk a lot about needing to declutter, but part of what holds us back from just diving in and making some progress in decluttering is that even though we say that we are doing this project we don’t really understand how to do it. We don’t understand what the project really is, what it entails, what we set out to accomplish. It remains this, kind of, vague, nebulous project that we can’t define. And that means we can’t see progress made. And when we don’t know what we’re going to do next, we end up not doing anything at all. So, in order to declutter our homes, we need to understand the process of decluttering and it’s really very simple. It’s a little bit scary, but what you need to remember is to start with an amount of space that you can actually tackle in the amount of time that you have. What I like to do is choose a spot that I can actually declutter in 10 minutes or less, because even when I think I have half an hour I often don’t. But 10 minutes I can probably manage that, or at least, if some interruption comes a 10 minute declutter session is easier to come back to and finish up, whereas longer projects not so much. The first step of decluttering is actually removing everything from the space—that’s scary, that’s a big deal, I know, but it’s really the most effective, efficient way to declutter. But that’s why it’s so important to start with a very small space. So, a single drawer (or even a section of a drawer), a single shelf in a closet (and not the whole closet), one container at a time decluttering; not entire rooms or even entire closets—a small space. Empty it out entirely onto a table, or some other space—just move it out. Then the next thing I like to do is to just throw away the garbage that came out in that process. Ideally, it doesn’t even make it onto the table (or whatever other space I’m emptying things out on), but as I’m pulling it out it just goes into the trash. And still, if there is some junk on the counter (or wherever this pile has ended up), I go through and throw away the trash because that’s the fastest, easiest, most obvious step to take first. And the more visible progress you can make quickly the more momentum that you get. You’re seeing that success and you’re seeing progress right away and that helps you keep the momentum and the energy moving forward to get the job done. So, we don’t start with the hardest part (although emptying the entire space might have been hard, mentally or emotionally) but then we do something easy—we just throw away the garbage. And, it’s amazing sometimes how much difference that makes right there. Next, we’re looking at all this stuff that’s out to see. Now, none of it’s where it belongs because none of it belongs on the bed or the counter or the table or wherever we’ve put it, and we see things that belong somewhere else. So they have homes, we know what they are, we know where they belong and it’s not here and it’s not in that drawer that we just emptied. So, we go put those things away. This is where distraction is tempting. This is where we might get an idea, see something else that needs to be done, get interrupted by a child, or something, so we have to be very careful and try to do this very quickly. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean

3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/cleanSo, what even is decluttering and why is it something that we keep trying to do and keep feeling like we never make any progress doing? Yeah, that’s right—you are not the only one. Decluttering is getting rid of clutter. So, before we can understand declutter, we have to think about what clutter really is. Sometimes we just use it as a generic insult to stuff we don’t necessarily want or want to deal with. But clutter is referring to those things that are not where they belong, or they are some place where they don’t belong. And so, when we’re looking in a closet, in a cupboard, in a drawer, in a whole room, and we say, “It’s cluttered,” what we mean is that it’s full of stuff that does not belong there. So, the process of decluttering, then, means going through the space and removing what does not belong. Organizing the space then is putting the things away well, strategically, smartly, in the place they do belong. But decluttering comes before organizing. And you really can’t organize a space that has not been decluttered because if the space has stuff that doesn’t belong there, it can’t be organized there. It needs to be removed so that the things that do belong can then be ordered and tidied well; so, decluttering means getting rid of the things that do not belong. We keep coming back to this project of decluttering because it’s a part of the process of actually stewarding or managing our resources well. Things tend toward disorder, things fall apart, new things come in, and the way that we use a space or the way that we need to use a space changes. So, the fact that you need to declutter doesn’t even mean necessarily that something is wrong, or you’ve failed in some way, it just means that the task before you is clear—declutter the space. Of course, when we look around our home there are so many spaces that need to be decluttered (I mean, we are not even going to talk about kid bedrooms)! But we just need to be satisfied taking small steps forward, making a little bit of progress in a small amount of space; steadily, strategically, and consistently. And that’s what we’re going to do in this series where we are focusing on decluttering. We aren’t just going to talk about decluttering and we aren’t only going to pep talk decluttering (although we are going to do that as well), we are going to find ways to build decluttering as a habit in our life because our spaces are always going to need decluttering. Things are always going to wind up where they don’t belong because that’s just the way family life works. Not to mention the way that we need to use the space changes—something did belong in a particular spot at one point but no longer does because that’s now not the point of the space. 3Rs of Meaningful Housework: simplyconvivial.com/clean