Seeking Derangements

Today Hesse and Ben thank Caitlyn Jenner for yet again saving us from nuclear apocalypse, talk about Biden randomly still being alive, Elon Musk beefing with his daughter, the Olympic Grindr ban, JD Vance's big face and head, and why so many brunette women are becoming homophobic right wing influencers. Plus we take your calls! PATREON.COM/SEEKINGDERANGEMENTS

Happy Sunday Seekers! April joins Hesse, Ben and Jacques to talk about 164,000 white women crashing Zoom for a Kamala fundraiser, Jacques idea for a lesbian Christmas movie, and what happens when you piss off Brats. Get tickets to Aprils LA show here: https://www.elysiantheater.com/shows/aprilclark

Theda joins Hesse and I to talk about Biden's miserable week (we recorded before he actually dropped out lol), Bevvie the Transvestigator's claims about the Biden family, and of course Bryan Johnson, whom we are all really disappointed in.

Welcome back seekers! The whole team is united today to play you some of our favorite songs and discuss the week in news. We talk about Trump getting shot, posthumously Queer Eye the shooter, try to locate Gypsy Rose Blanchard and of course we take some of your calls as well!

Welcome back seekers! While we love being a podcast of the people, we are fed up with getting zero recognition from the mainstream media and professional podcasts alike. And that's why we have resorted to throwing the first punch at the most successful shows in the game, according to NY Mag. That's right, we are bullying the top 10 podcasts in the country right now, viciously and without remorse. Also we talk about a new gay ringworm, the time Jacques invented a never before seen variant of ringworm (it might be the gay one we don't know) and discuss the war within the democratic party.

Hello seekers and happy Sunday! Join us today as we celebrate the return of our Queen Jacques Gonsoulin, who has emerged triumphantly from his battle with 4 impacted wisdom teeth and some other stuff too. Jacques tells us all about his surgery, why the nurses said he had a "marijuana allergy," the car wreck that was caused by his desire for bone broth, rewriting his will, and of course, he puts Hesse and I through a grueling challenge of our own...

Super producer Palma joins Hesse and I for a full debate recap. We talk about Biden's abysmal performance, yet another attempt at mass gaslighting by the Democratic party, and suggest some replacements for Biden. We also discuss JVN's response to the allegations that Zir is an absolute menace on set.

FULL VIDEO EPISODE ON PATREON The internet favorite’s homophobic, queer-baiting Turk joins Hesse and I to put his alleged ally-status to the test. Will he accrue enough points from the Gay List to gain entry into the gayborhood? Will he get the F pass? The more coveted T pass? Well… Has Hasan (or even worse your man) closed a drawer with his hip? Have they made male friends or used an elliptical? What if they’ve let a woman touch a door in public? If so, it might be time to wish them happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍👨

Hello Seekers! Hesse and I are back and taking more of your pride calls. We teach a 6'5" gay guy with a mustache how to seem like a bottom in front of his trans-masc husband's co-workers (very easy), chastise gay men who chase straight men, out 300 closeted politicians, and invent something called misogyno-blanc. Also we hear two SHOCKING testimonies from people unfortunate enough to personal run-in's with Chapelle Roan, and all I can say right now is that we must cancel her and that Winston, if you're there, I hope you made it out of the box.

On this special one on one interview Brandon and me (Jacques) discuss our recent tomfoolery when he came to new orleans and preformed for two days, I did my first stand up st opening for him and just the total shenanigans of new orleans. Throughout the episode I bring back the points system to clarify Brandon's grade. Listen right away

Hello seekers! Hesse and I are back talking about how I almost punched a woman at Des Moines pride, the brand new Herpes/Chlamydia prank going around, where to blow an Aztec Death Whistle for maximum impact and my parents having another kid because I looked so gay. Of course we also talk about Hunter Biden going to jail and how to enjoy Charli XCX's new hit album Brat when you suffer from Obstinance Defiance Disorder.

Welcome back Seekers! We're all here to discuss Pope Francis' statements on f*ggotry run amuck in Italian seminaries, which then makes Jacques hungry. So we invent some sandwiches, clock our social credit scores, rank women, and brainstorm how fat Jacques would have been in WWII. But most importantly we write an email to casting at "Pop Culture Jeopardy," and end by taking a shot at the quiz ourselves.

April and Grace join Hesse and I to crack open the lesbian list! Is it lesbian to fart? What if it makes a noise? Do you look both ways before crossing the street? Well then sister, it might be time to rescue some pit bulls. As a woman, do you fall, snore, or smoke blunts by yourself? Chances are you could be a lesbian, and we'll help you find out. Get tickets to Girl Gods live show here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/girl-god-presents-gay-aid-tickets-879720998187 intro/// Lyn Christopher - Take Me With You outro/// Laura Nyro - Sweet Blindness

Subscribe to our Patreon for the full episode! It's just Hesse and I today, I give her a rundown of my micro bully obsession, a debrief of the Amityville Micro Bully Pop Up I attended, and what the dogs Really Mean. We also discuss JoJo Siwa's continued tragic (or slay?) career, make some predictions about the Biden/Trump debate, and cover the beautiful discourse I heard among the protesters in front of Trumps trial.

Welcome back everyone! Jacques unleashes a new beef he will almost certainly lose, we celebrate Hesse for Mothers Day, discuss how we would get the Dublin/NYC portal shut down, being on deaths door, and getting hooked on Zyn. Also Jacques casts his 360 video à la Charli XCX, we uncover why gay guys travel like fugitives, and finally we shout out the two nurses who were vaporized last year at a monkeypox vaccination site in New Orleans. Please show them your support.

Today the hosts of Celebrity Book Club with Steven & Lily join me to break the seal on a brand new list, thats right–it's the Lesbian List. Is it lesbian to fart? What if it makes a noise? Do you look both ways before crossing the street? Well then sister, it might be time to rescue some pit bulls. As a woman, do you fall, snore, or smoke blunts by yourself? Chances are you could be a lesbian, and we'll help you find out. We also discuss Steven being the first gay man to bleach his hair for normal and healthy reasons, Lily leaving her strap on in her partners parents freezer, and I spill some tea on an ancient beef between me and a big suited lesbian who fucked with my family while employed as the minister of a Unitarian Church. Until next time sisters! Listen to Celebrity Book Club with Steven & Lily everywhere podcasts are found (I did an episode with them on the Bible) and buy tickets to their June 5th live show!

Happy Sunday Seekers! Today we talk about Bush era LGBTQ activism, that guy from glee identifying as culturally queer (we support him), Kristi Noem assassinating her puppy for being annoying and what happens when you antagonize ghosts and spirits. Plus we take your calls! We tell you how to impress your girlfriends religious parents, how to bust on SSRI's, and how to break up with someone who has BPD when you also have BPD. We'll be doing another call in episode soon, leave a voicemail at (332) 203-8247

Listen to this full episode and our entire catalogue of weekly bonus content on our Patreon!

Theda and John stop by to talk about Hesse scaring her landlords with gay pornography, Ben's newfound love of leering in the park, the hottest sportsmen, the ugliest sportsmen, Caitlyn Clarke being cis, Ben's dad thinking he is a prostitute, fire island, red carpet menswear and of course Theda and Johns new movie Stress Positions. Go see it! Find weekly bonus episodes on our Patreon

Happy easter :) super producer Max joins us to continue our 300+ episode celebration, we talk about the ongoing P Diddy scandal, pink coke, and Jacques tells us about more about Portland. We love!

Hello Seekers! Today Jacques, Hesse, and I apply to a high powered position at the Sniffies Corporation, decide which one of us is autistic (shocker) and send an email to get them cast on Love On The Spectrum, and finally we put a definitive end to the rumors about Brigette Macron being one of the gworls.

Cara stops by to celebrate our 300th episode! We talk about East Coast vs Tennessee vs Louisiana, best and worst fast foods, astrology, and much more. Find weekly bonus episodes on our Patreon

Happy Sunday! We're back and talking about having 4 impacted wisdom teeth, rockabilly women (again), having sex with Timothee Chalamet, Anton Chigurh's gender and planes falling out of the sky. Full Episode on Patreon

Hello seekers! Today we're all back and taking your calls. We hear from people with BPD, people who have girlfriends with BPD, help a guy who wants to have sex with another guy in front of his girlfriend, and decide if it's healthy to be turned on by your own reflection. Leave a voicemail for us at (332) 203 - 8247 and find tickets to SHOW PIG here: https://www.lodgeroomhlp.com/shows/show-pig-a-live-comedy-podcast-spectacular-with-seeking-derangements/

What up Seekers! Today we assembled to record an emergency pod on the Rolling Stone's article about JVN's "monstrous" and "nightmarish" behavior on the set of Queer Eye. We discuss why Bobby is leaving the show, why Tan and Antoni are the only ones who don't hate each other, and say a prayer for all the PA's who leaked their tales of abuse to the press. But before that we perform a "woke test" on Google's AI chatbot, plus I explain why I got covered in mud in rural Canada and Jacques offers Jackie Chan a job.

Happy Sunday everyone! We're back for the 12th installment of the Gay List with Jack Wagner of Otherworld. We talk about the recent P Diddy scandal, Jacques having sex with 2 of his friends fathers, and what a woman should do if she catches her man dipping his toe into the pool to check the temperature. Find Weekly bonus episodes on our Patreon

Full Episode on Patreon Hesse and I go to Jen's new apartment to see her new face and to talk about why everyone hates Amy Schumer, why Amy Schumer hates women, how Mardi Gras is more difficult than major and intensive surgery, and of course to talk about the bassist of a latinx metal band that tried to force femme the singer in order to steal his girlfriend.

Welcome back yall, today we talk about Joe Biden's sex life, global circumcision rates, a van full of men with guns being outside your house, getting your head squished between a brick wall and your 1000lbs of luggage, and we take a quiz which results in some really scary results Weekly Bonus Episodes on our Patreon

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Today we're all back together and trying to figure out what happened at the Super Bowl, why Jacques thought Selena Quintanilla was a lady of the night, and celebrate the Queer Eyes getting carjacked in Nola. Plus we take a few of your calls. Mwah

What up yall, we're back and talking about Stan wars, SWAT'ing, militant smol beans, how to get BPD, how to not be a bitch right now, and Jacques drops a diss track on a bitch who stole his man. Plus we take some calls! Bonus episode weekly on our Patreon

Will and Felix join us to dust off the old Gay List and declare judgements on how straight men should behave during a shooting, if it's sus to use oven mitts or have a big key chain, if pulp is gay, and much more. Plus Jacques tells us which first lady invented birthdays. Full episode on Patreon

Hey everyone! Today we discover a new hypebeast member of Jacques expansive medical team, chose our own Best Picture, talk about scamming your neighbors and how Jacques turned a subway sandwich into a lethal projectile using nothing but a lime scooter. Weekly bonus episode on our Patreon!

Hello LGBTQ and straight listeners alike, we're back and talking about the New Fire Island, global gay gentrification, and billionaire slam-pieces who's deaths just aren't adding up. Despite that we do take our best shot on getting accepted into New Fire Island's influencer program for real. Plus we start a personality quiz but not before Jacques connection goes out (crazy things happen when Louisiana freezes.) Find weekly bonus episodes on Patreon.com/SeekingDerangements

Whats up players we're back with another episode! Today Jacques and I help Hesse punch up her stand up routine, investigate the Hasidic tunnels, and take your calls which range from a tech company unwittingly coming out in support of gay chemsex, why everyone hates you at orgies, me stealing someone's "bitch," and your cousin hitting on you. Thank you guys for the calls we truly appreciate them. Find a weekly bonus ep on our Patreon!

The "most unhinged creator of the year" Kevin Leonardo joins Hesse and I once again to talk about his meteoric rise to fame, fake people, the second gay guy caught having sex in the senate, waxing his pubes, masturbating with a pet in the room, and finally to rank famous Christmas characters on their fuck-ability. Find Kevin's content here: https://linktr.ee/kevinleonardo Full video episode on our Patreon!

Hello everyone! We're back and talking about none other than the don diva herself...FKA Kitara...AKA Latino Baby Grinch...George Santos. We draft a group message to his real email, go through his various crimes and scams (NOT GUILTY), and hear tell from another diva about her past run ins with George. Also some really bad Jacques health updates. Thank you to Santiago for designing our new cover art! Also Jacques and Hesse will be featured at the Girl God show this weekend at the Bell House in NYC! Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-girl-god-christmas-spectacular-tickets-741044292427?utm_experiment=control_share_listing&aff=ebdsshios

We cover episode 13 of Undercover Billionaire but not before one of us reveals her new chosen name, we recant what was said about Gwyneth on the last episode, Joe Biden vs Taylor Swift, plus more.

Girl God is back to face down an interview conducted by the one Mx. Jacques Gonsoulin, we talk about the most embarrassing moment of everyones life, planning for a live show, Caitlyn Jenner's saying "retarted," and finally Hesse quizzes everyone on SEX. Find tickets for Girl Gods show here: https://girlgodlive.com/

Here's the first half of our special Halloween episode for you broke bitches who cant subscribe to our Patreon. Reporting from the most haunted city in the United States, Jacques and I are here to give you a tour of some of the most fucked up things that have happened to the people of New Orleans and of course, to Jacques himself. Join us on this journey as we tell tale of an axe wielding sociopath who killed a bunch Italians for not playing Jazz, how Jacques came to in a Taco Bell ditch, pray for the Gay Guys who died in a bath house fire, try to eat pickled beef tips, and finally harass city employees on the phone...in a graveyard.

Jacques reveals his new and improved self, we talk about the slay nerd who tried to assassinate the queen bc his AI girlfriend told him to, and we take your calls! Subscribe to our patreon for weekly bonus episodes! Patreon.com/seekingderangements

What's up yall...Hesse and I recorded (Jacques joins eventually) on the day of jihad, we talk about Lady Betty Grafstein and Jose, world famous transvestigator Bevvie112 being uninvited from thanksgiving, dating old guys, Troye Sivan, the newest Bladwin brother J Baldwin, Bobbi Althoff curbstomping Scar Jo, eating 48 oysters, and more. As mentioned, please consider a donation to Anera who is working to provide aid to the Palestinian people. Find them at www.anera.org

Welcome back everyone! Today we talk about being trapped in Jacques basement, his diet, why airplanes keep nearly crashing all the time and why we don't know about it, and finally Jacques steals my lab coat and administers a quiz which strips us bare, psychologically speaking. Subscribe to us on Patreon for weekly bonus content!

The world has been turned upside down, there's looting in every city, government has lurched to a halt, financial markets are in turmoil and theres one family to blame. The Jenner/Kardashian clan has been dropping new family members and duplicating at alarming rates. One Caitlyn was enough, now that there are three and our way of life is in peril we here at Seeking Derangements are proud to partner with the Biden administration to put an end to the madness and bring you the truth. In this event like no other we have amassed the Caitlyns for a special debate wherein the true Caitlyn will emerge victorious and the others....well the others have a different fate in store. ------ Special thanks to Macy Rodman and Kaye Loggins for joining us! Find Macy's podcast Nymphowars here (it's my favorite podcast): https://www.patreon.com/nymphowarsxxx/posts Find Kaye's amazing show, Kaye Night Live here: https://eternal.tv/programs/kaye-nite-live

Hey guys welcome back. Today we take your calls, texts, and pleas for help. Topics range from hair care, to reverting to Islam, how to be in a NORMAL relationship when everyone is POLY, and also Jacques is only on for about 15 minutes his mic broke and he blamed us for it lol. Everything is fine now but Jacques Gonsoulin...More like Jacques GONE so Lame am i right.

Sup ladies...today we see which one of us is a voicecel and which one of us is a deep voice chad. We then talk about Larry Sinclair, Obama being gay, Malik Obama, and every conspiracy theory on earth. Subscribe to us on Patreon for a bonus episode each week

Subscribe to our Patreon for the full interview with Rena, a girl I got jumped for fingering in high school. We talk about our love, its tragic fallout, and about Gay Life in Des Moines Iowa Patreon.com/seekingderagements

Welcome everyone we're back and despite some technical difficulties we manage to take a lot of your calls, one from our favorite listener (a 57 year old hairdresser and mother of two), another from someone who wants a pussy, and another from a gay guy who doesn't know any other gay guys. Plus we talk paranormal experiences, shooting guns, and Burning Man. Bonus audio and video episodes on our patreon!

Does your man go to target? Does your man kill bugs? Does your man have Rosacea? Does that make him gay? We called up Angel Money and Jake Sillen to help us figure it all out. Plus Angel Money tells Jacques how to step his pussy up but not before taking us all to church. Keep up with Angel Money on her twitter: @reverendmoney Keep up with Jake on her IG: @hoe_slut_hoe

The world has been turned upside down, there's looting in every city, government has lurched to a halt, financial markets are in turmoil and theres one family to blame. The Jenner/Kardashian clan has been dropping new family members and duplicating at alarming rates. One Caitlyn was enough, now that there are three and our way of life is in peril we here at Seeking Derangements are proud to partner with the Biden administration to put an end to the madness and bring you the truth. In this event like no other we have amassed the Caitlyns for a special debate wherein the true Caitlyn will emerge victorious and the others....well the others have a different fate in store.

Sup bros we are back with another classic episode...we talk about Jacques barbaric air conditioning defense system, the Femme Presenting Lesbian who was Denied Service for being Gay with a Husband, expose Barack Hussein Obama's straggotry, and take a couple calls. Plus a penis update from the worlds biggest egg, Bryan Johnson. Subsribe to our Patreon for one bonus episode per week, plus videos and special episodes too.