Reconcilable Differences

Things kick off with John rejecting some of Merlin's canny improvements to the doc. The doc *really* needs some work. It doesn't get any easier as Merlin attempts to do a normal podcast thing, but John keeps stepping on his bit. **John** does that. Anyway. Thank you. John has some follow-up on his haircut situation as well as sharing some important drop cloth advice. Next up comes a potential new segment called, "Secret Brit." Is that guy English? And what about her? Is she that gal from the other thing? Merlin got out of Russian dashcam videos just in the nick of time. And, also, hey, why is it so difficult for streaming media apps and the hardware on which they run to do the most basic stuff? Just…*why?* John wants to get Merlin off of the main topic mindset, and Merlin reminds John they *really* need to work on the doc. In apparently not a main topic, your hosts talk about the state of modern Mac window management. There are things John has just given up on. Merlin thinks he should maybe learn the basics of *Statistics*, but John thinks he should just learn some *Logic*. Merlin is not here for the Wagyu. In the extended members-only episode, John and Merlin talk about s03e11 of _Shark Tank_. Yes, the one with the Sullivan Generator. Go to <https://www.relay.fm/rd> to become a member today. (_Recorded on Tuesday, July 28, 2020_)

Things kick off with a huge thank you to everyone who [gave Siracusa their money](http://GiveSiracusaYourMoney.com/), followed by a survey of listener suggestions for the name of the member feed. In follow-up, John shares some detailed updates on his chronically troubled toe. Merlin finds this content *extremely* challenging. Merlin relates an upsetting Walgreens anecdote, and John shares his etymological research on when you learn the notes to sing. Merlin can't get his tween to *one-ee-and-uh* with him. For a main topic, your hosts interrogate some additional axes for choosing media—especially the axis of available attention. You really super-get this when you have a fresh baby. Legacy notions about the dangers of screen time are explored and debated. We can all agree that this is a tough time for kids and connection. In the extended members-only episode, John and Merlin discuss the 2001 Satoshi Kon film, [*Millennium Actress*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0291350/). Go to <https://www.relay.fm/rd> to become a member today. (_Recorded on Tuesday, July 14, 2020_)

Things kick off with an announcement on a new way you can help support the program—as well as get some _challenging_ new content. Please [give Siracusa your money](http://GiveSiracusaYourMoney.com). In follow-up, John has a very important haircut update. His barber was reluctant, and the experience was a little fraught. Do our ears and head really keep growing, or is that just a myth? Merlin puts a hat on a hat on a hat, and John badly confuses his Mels. Then, things move on to _time_. Can you choose to be tricked by your own clocks? What if every clock is different? What even is time? John has a history with clock manipulation and sometimes invites too many snoozes. This turns into a broader meditation on punctuality and character. Are late people late for one reason or is it a whole situation? Can you know how long something takes until you really *know* how long it takes? Can you? (Spoiler: you cannot.) John gets to the party early, and Merlin super hopes he actively offers to help with the crudités. Merlin used to be late for everything, and John interrogates how exactly that so drastically changed. Also, why did we arrive at the airport six hours early, daddy? Breakfast muffin, honey. Please, just eat your breakfast muffin. Merlin is grateful for people educating him (even when that's not their job). Unconscious bias is unconscious. And, finally, Merlin had a pretty wild bug with the iOS beta, and you won't believe what happened next. (_Recorded on Tuesday, June 30, 2020_)

Someone has tampered with Merlin's bell, and John is looking forward to his "vacation." This leads to an exploration of seemingly hippie-dippie workplace policies and how they actually get applied in practice. Especially for everyone who's not the boss. In follow-up, John has an update on a recent addition to his home. Boy, they really wanna push those extra "features" on you, don’t they? No one should have to worry this much about water. In further follow-up, Merlin has a huge update on something he finally persuaded his family to do for him. 🐱✂️ John has never seen _Shark Tank_. Merlin is confused about the buttons on his keyboard, and John has thoughts on what’s in the actual code. Merlin hates his clock. You can really tell when the people who make something don’t love it as much as you do. John gets *yet another* free dingus, and Merlin loves him some surprise baby photos. (_Recorded on Tuesday, June 16, 2020_)

In America, you are not allowed to hit back. Black Lives Matter. (_Recorded on Tuesday, June 2, 2020_)

Things kick off with a review of recent household paper cuts. Breaking the AirPods Rule, not using the hand rail, and barely surviving the chute into the kill zone. John hears the case of Merlin's exploding plumbing in order to adjudicate whether it constitutes _an actual emergency_. Service people are all about lead generation, but, John appreciates the input. The consequent verdict leads to exploration of minimizing COVID attack vectors. Speaking of riding things out, again with John's toe. Just the one. Descript is also discussed. For a main topic, John wants to talk about regrets, lost loves, and things that could have been different. Better put, John wants Merlin to talk about this, so he does. Witness his confessions. (_Recorded on Tuesday, May 19, 2020_)

Quarantine updates, Banana Results, follow-up on John's sleep heat needs, and home improvement is also sheltered-in-place for now. In a main topic, John asks Merlin to talk about why he loves improv comedy so much. What part of your brain do you want scratched?

Things kick off with Merlin bemoaning John's emerging role as his primary existential creditor. John reminds Merlin that all that grinding is just continually *sharpening* him. In follow-up, your hosts thank the many, _many_ listeners who remembered the movie that John and Merlin clearly could not. Turns out, it was not "Batman." Or "The Notebook." This leads naturally into a main topic that pulls together a bunch of previously discussed topics: **how do you get your family to watch really good movies**? Like, _high-quality movies_. Not bad movies, but good movies. As we all know, John is a tough rater, but his diligence has paid off. Merlin's kid hasn't shown much interest in _The Godfather_. We learn that John has given Merlin his pasta sauce recipe, but Merlin hasn't tried to make it yet, and, when he does, he'll probably do it wrong. Related: do not ask for John's pasta sauce recipe, because it is not supported. Finally, John may have discovered a Secret Weird Thing about bananas, which—you guessed it—leads to more homework for Merlin. (_Recorded on Tuesday, April 21, 2020_)

Things kick off with John describing an unknown movie in bullets and Merlin thinking it sounds a little like Batman. Of course, this just ends up leading to John chiding Merlin for not utilizing his quarantine time to finish his long-overdue homework. The guys end up talking about the confusingly-titled resurrection of Merlin's old podcast. John has questions, and Merlin does his best to respond. Sometimes, you wanna give yourself a blue ocean, even if you never end up changing very much. Much like Neil Peart said. This leads to a nostalgic stroll through the before times of the internet. Back when you had to buy all the misspellings and just hope you came up high on AltaVista. Also, what comes *after* Google? Man, the web used to be such a primitive, ugly affair. Time was, putting a field and two buttons on a web page was some pretty radical stuff. Brand names and regional fizzy drink appellations are briefly debated. Finally, the baked ziti topic somehow also rises from the dead. And, John is *still* affronted that Merlin feeds his family that execrable swill from a jar. (_Recorded on Tuesday, April 7, 2020_)

On top of all the sheltering-in-place, John is nursing a new injury, and Merlin doesn't love hearing it described at all. This leads to some medical technology discussion plus an on-air debriding agent demo. In a main topic, your hosts try to share some ideas on sustainably working remotely from home. History and experience can be pretty good teachers, but working yourself to a damaged nub is a terrible game for the young and should be considered harmful. And, then there's the technology we use to stay connected and the managers who need to manage. Were you aware that Tom totally knows Craig Chaquico? Listen, team, there are going to be _a lot_ of adjustments, but also some great opportunities. We swear. Hang in there, stay inside, and please take care of yourselves. (_Recorded on Tuesday, March 24, 2020_)

Things kick off with some soap talk, and then there's a deep dive into the current state of…things. Stay home, friends. There's some follow-up on Billy Joel Results. In the main topic, your hosts discuss what makes for a good car movie. John thinks it's different for car people, and Merlin saw a Tesla. Sometimes, it can be difficult to enjoy media that gets details you care about wrong. For homework, please watch FX on Hulu's _Devs_. (_Recorded on Tuesday, March 10, 2020_)

This week kicks off with some virus talk. Merlin is worried that we've lost the recipe for ice, and John is feeling very cynical. Don't worry about the giant barrel full of explosives; the water will cushion that. John remembers chicken pox parties, but Merlin is confused about exactly how a quarantine works. In follow-up, your hosts wrap up their (mostly spoiler-free) discussion of _Cheer_. As it turns out, cheerleaders are kind of a lot like soldiers, and you really wanna be on the lookout for those entrepreneurial dads. Merlin dreams of typewriters. John requests an update on _Millennium Actress_ progress. The main topic is the career and oeuvre of New York resident, William Martin Joel. When John was growing up, Billy Joel was everywhere and was a lot like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Then, John left Long Island. There is some disagreement about whether Billy ever technically got "big," but you gotta know that the man is a very gifted melodicist. John wonders how he would function in a Beatles-like band, and Merlin just really loves those bridges. John seems to kind of envy Billy's helicopter lifestyle. (_Recorded on Sunday, March 1, 2020_)

Merlin is healing just as John is getting sick. Merlin has chained several bad decisions, and John has concerns about Merlin's office wall. John has moved some things around in the doc. In follow-up, John has acquired some Studio Ghibli from iTunes and reports back. This leads to further discussion of the beauty of Miyazaki films and a consideration of what makes them so special. Are the roles of filmmakers similar to the work of comics artists? What if you're just not a fan of currently fashionable inking techniques? *Hollow bones*. Your hosts talk about the new Netflix show, _Cheer_. They could have gone a lot of directions, but we can all agree that there are many, many injuries to be had. Next up, a recent _Roderick on the Line_ conversation leads to a consideration of the voice in your head alongside the ability to visualize. Consciousness is very difficult to discuss. Finally, there's some back-door Secret Weird Things People Do about the cadences that trigger stuff in your head. Especially songs. John thinks Merlin definitely doesn't have an actual photographic memory. And she's loving him with that body, I just know it. (_Recorded on Tuesday, February 10, 2020_)

This week kicks off with some accidental video and an update on Merlin's ill health. John has been maintaining some lists, and Merlin shares some confessions of the Banker's Box lifestyle. Many things still need to leave my house. A litany of the lost things is presented and analyzed, and a catechism for finding the lost things is interrogated. In follow-up, Merlin is ready to present his iTunes Results regarding the acquisition of Studio Ghibli movies. John finally draws a line in the sand. Why split the movie? Why no extra features? Is it Siracusa's day to watch Roderick? The magic of Miyazaki is extolled. So much smoking. Speaking of media homework, John has a new assignment for Merlin. Then, some documentary talk in general. John is back to harassing Merlin about how often he washes the towels, and Merlin is provoked into making a confession of fanciness. Some friend. John, in turn, confesses to being upset by Merlin's ghastly pet companions. Everything in the house is Bando'd. Merlin has some questions about Daisy's technology stack. This leads to a pretty deep dive on the design trade-offs that go into contemporary dog-tracking innovations. Finally, the boys return to Secret Weird Things People Do, and John has a bath mat concept for consideration, plus a hot tip on bathtub materials. (_Recorded on Thursday, January 30, 2020_)

Things kick off with an administrative meeting about the doc. Merlin tries to keep John from sneaking in, and John thinks Merlin should just use his eyeballs. Analogy sandwiches and their contents are debated. John lives with an unnamed two-towel person, and Merlin thinks he knows who it is. Spock loses his phaser, and Merlin earns his first multisyllabic laugh from John. Merlin can tell whether you are an AT&T customer, and John thinks phone calls in general are creepy. Merlin demonstrates his robot hands for John. Merlin thinks he's an open book, and John realizes there's always something to be yelled at about. There's also some fairly harrowing cat follow-up. In a mini-topic, John talks about Studio Ghibli movies (finally) being available digitally, and Merlin offers to take one for the team and report back. Also, some talk about metadata. Merlin has questions for John about what constitutes a "rally." Is there a better word for having to thread an existential and chronological needle in life? Because that's what Merlin needs a name for. Regardless of what you call this phenomenon, it's not about being first or fastest; it's about timing all the jobs and obligations that you know about, as well as leaving padding for when (inevitably) more comes up or stuff changes. Like project management and software development, life has a funny way of hiding dependencies and disguising milestones. This leads to a deep dive on understanding the culture of your environment and the foibles of human nature. People, amirite? (_Recorded on Tuesday, January 14, 2020._)

Things kick off with John's Mac Pro prep mess. This is all *well beyond* Preparing the Way. This leads to a surprisingly detailed exploration of the challenges posed by setting up a new workspace given the constraints of the room and gravity. Cables, man. *Cables*. In a related topic, Merlin is struggling with post-holiday mess stress. Sisyphus is pushing another Sisyphus up a hill. You *really* don't want to make Daddy bring in his banker's box. How long before the elves arrive to remove all these yogurt containers? Maybe they'll "do it later." Stuff your sorries in a sack! Also, this new bean bag chair is very, _very_ large. Christmas Results are discussed further, and John has makeover ideas for Merlin's lounge. John's vegetarian has recently widened her palate. Finally, John has a new pinboard, but there are some design and integration challenges. Merlin gratefully receives the only gift he's wanted for years. 🎢

In the interest of timeliness, this episode, recorded Tuesday evening, has been rushed to you on an accelerated schedule. John continues to Prepare the Way, his wife can't close one eye, and there's a Spoiler Slot on HBO's _Watchmen_. (_Recorded on Tuesday, December 17, 2019._)

Things kick off with a review of Thanksgiving results that quickly swerves into a deep dive on hotels. Why is Merlin obsessed with this one Marriott in Gold Country, and how come John avoids bunking with roommates? Then, there's a swerve back to the holiday of gratitude, and the boys envision a world in which you won't get anywhere near the turkey until you've dealt with an upsettingly mercurial new host. And, even then, you'll be called upon to help solve a stomach-churning murder mystery. There's just a little bit of _Survivor_ talk. Why don't the castaways like the odds of rocks, and when will Coach and Russell return as mentors? Merlin has been excavating old hard drives, and John can't understand how he ever got to this point. Hug your backups, people. Speaking of food, things wrap with a twist on Secret Weird Things People do: *what's the deal with food?* (_Recorded on Tuesday, December 3, 2019._)

Things kick off with a check-in on _Watchmen_. Is John feeling more confident about it? There are MacGuffins inside of MacGuffins. John is still enjoying the Apple TV+ shows, and Merlin thinks expectation deflation can really work in your favor. John didn't remember that Jennifer Aniston was in _Office Space_. In a related mini-topic, Merlin wants to talk about _The Mandalorian_ as a way to explore what we like about _Star Wars_. Unsurprisingly, John is avoiding a poster, and Merlin gets schooled on the importance and greatness of _Return of the Jedi_. Thank goodness for our fellow fans who grew up to make new _Star Wars_ for us. John has qualms with Merlin's neologism and doesn't even like when people do that anyway. The summer of 1982 was *wild*. Your hosts try to explain live TV to their children. Also: telephones. Finally, it's time to clear out some more Secret Weird Things People Do. No spoilers. Just…listen. (_Recorded on Tuesday, November 19, 2019._)

Things kick off with some quick Macintosh and video game nostalgia. John redrew his sprites, and Merlin enjoyed some stolen pinball. Merlin did lots of work this week. Your hosts discuss Sayonara Wild Hearts in particular and Apple Arcade in general. Merlin's family recently rented a *very* large automobile, and its various interfaces are reviewed. John declares the vehicle to be as ugly as it is large. Where is innovation welcome, and where is it mostly preferable to avoid? And what happens when that "innovation" was really just kind of a cheat? Apple TV+ is on the docket, but, first, Merlin wants to share the detailed results of his scientific Apple TV and Siri experiments. This leads to him saying much more than "exactly one thing," and it takes much longer than the promised thirty seconds. Strap in, because this one is quite a ride. John takes over to talk about his thoughts on the new Apple TV+ shows. Viewers and critics seem to really disagree, but John found things to like. Reviews and ratings come up again. Mikhail Baryshnikov is not the guy from _Die Hard_, and there is **so** much TV. Damon Lindelof seems like a really smart guy. John gives a thumbs-up to The Space Show but feels like _Watchmen_ is still walking a line. John crosses-over with _Do By Friday_. (_Recorded on Tuesday, November 5, 2019._)

John opens with some follow-up questions, and Merlin realizes it's going to be one of _those_ episodes. John calls out Merlin's racism against his people. Both your hosts are now living the arms-free lifestyle. Merlin has follow-up on his ongoing Siri and Apple TV experiment, and, improbably, this leads to further discussion of Cupertino's frustrating quality slide. Voice dinguses are reviewed, and IMDB is bad. John has some water issues, and Merlin's lizard apparently has an unconventional face. Then, more with the Apple complaints. Messages is making Merlin look insane. John has some harsh words about Merlin's _Star Wars_ spoilers, and he doesn't even like those movies anyway. Getting tickets to the movie requires some detailed instructions, but then it ended up being unnecessary. Sometimes, it's just easier to do stuff yourself. Avoiding spoilers is difficult, because, as stipulated, pretty much everything is a spoiler. _Watchmen_ is lightly discussed. John's level of commitment to media he doesn't actually like is remarkable and weirdly admirable. And, finally, John has questions about Merlin's bizarre obsession with the House of Commons' Brexit proceedings. To be clear, John is not _telling_ the joke, he's _communicating_ the joke. (_Recorded on Tuesday, October 22, 2019._)

John has some questions about productivity, and Merlin has realized the new dragon is an attractive nuisance. Merlin has questions about his costly new chair, and John offers some further arm removal encouragement. John's flying monkeys chime in, and Merlin gets a reference in one. Merlin's family watches some _Star Trek_, and technical drawings are considered. John gives Merlin some stick about his _entirely proper_ USPS formatting. Next, John has follow-up on using the Apple TV TV TV app, and Merlin is very impressed with his results. Believe it or not, this leads to discussion of problems with using the Apple TV. How do you click left on a diving board? John agrees to skip talking about the new dragon for now, but, somehow, still manages to work in some side dagger. The PG&E power debacle is discussed. Merlin assures John that his spreadsheets are safe. Your hosts return to their Secret Weird Things People Do project. You'll have to just listen and judge for yourself: are John and Merlin secretly weird? (_Recorded on Tuesday, October 8, 2019._)

Thanks to everyone who pitched in to raise money for St. Jude! Your hosts talk about playing Apple Arcade games with a PS4 controller, and Merlin wants to hear John's take on the new Apple TV app functionality. John doesn't want anything to screw up his place, and Merlin never wants to watch something with the Starz app. Believe it or not, this leads to some criticisms of Apple TV. John thinks he might be getting sick, and Merlin remembers when children were pumped full of cold medicine. John considers mixing up some placebos. In a mini-topic, your hosts discuss Merlin's chair results. John again makes the case for removing the arms. Games are discussed a little more. In a side-door main topic, middle school is discussed, and this leads to an exploration of the value of test prep and learning how to understand and exploit systems. Not everybody learns that. John thinks everyone needs to learn how to find food, and Merlin finally appreciates the gentle wisdom of his high school Drama teacher.

Things kick into gear fast as John interrogates Merlin about his weird reaction to the recent Apple event. Why all the Charlie Brown? John has calibrated his expectations for these things, but Merlin still struggles to articulate what felt so off this time. Maybe it's just not understanding the profile for the Apple customer any more, but who knows? Then, your hosts return to **Secret Weird Things People Do**, and this week it's John's turn. Merlin wants to learn about the benefits that John gets from keeping his things nice. John's introduces a _fascinating_ new thought technology involving the swirly circles emanating radiation from sources of pleasure and pain. Merlin thinks minimizing entropy can be a great source of pleasure plus a bulwark against madness. The benefits of the Tiny Life Improvement Project are extolled, and ways of detecting sources of both radiation and weirdness are examined. (_Recorded on Tuesday, September 10, 2019._)

After some opening remarks, your hosts reveal the _very_ special guest for their forthcoming [member](https://www.relay.fm/membership) episode. They also invite you to please help Relay with a really cool project to benefit [an excellent cause](http://stjude.org/recdiffs). Merlin has some follow-up on his Apple TV, and John wants to understand why Merlin overpays his bills. Talk turns to the evolution of ecommerce. John assures Merlin he's still a valuable part of the team. John critiques how well or poorly Merlin helped Roderick fix his computer. Talk turns to the care and feeding of a Synology NAS running Plex. Merlin gets John to talk a little about Phoebe Waller-Bridge and her TV show, _Fleabag_. This leads to a brief, spoiler-free discussion of this terrific series. Two enthusiastic thumbs-up. This week's main topic is the backdoor pilot for a multi-episode arc: **secret weird things people do**. _Are we even able to even realize when there's something extremely weird that only we do?_ The inaugural sub-topic is Merlin's strange obsession with making spreadsheets. What is he tracking and why? Does he really need to know the historical price of asthma medicine he doesn't even use any more? Are Halloween costumes and flashlights the sort of thing a normal person would ever need or want to track? And, importantly, what sorts of things will John be trying to notice about himself? Does he have anything like separate sock drawers, and how even would he know? Tune in next time to find out! (_Recorded on Tuesday, August 27, 2019._)

John wants to take another shot at promoting Relay dot fm, and Merlin admits a shame. In follow-up, John has an update on _Millennium Actress_. As you know, Satoshi Kon is not the bitcoin guy. Listener response about cast iron skillets was huge. Merlin has updates on his Apple TV, and John has trouble understanding Merlin's beta obsession. Unsurprisingly, this leads to yet another discussion of the Apple TV's ample room for improvement. Children are not qualified to know which things are good or bad. In what amounts to a main topic, John interrogates Merlin about his weekly reminder errand. John assures Merlin that he does not ever need this reminder, and Merlin assures John he has his reasons why he does things. Merlin does not like creating unnecessary work for himself, and John has thoughts about the implicit encouragement to overextend oneself. How are you training your audience? John knows how this book turns out. (_Recorded on Tuesday, August 13, 2019._)

This week kicks off with a critique of Merlin's new haircut and eyeglasses. Also, Happy Birthday to Relay dot fm. John's recommendation of a movie viewing option is very quickly withdrawn, but then he has an even better recommendation. Next up, your hosts talk about John's experience with opening his Twitter DMs. This leads to a discussion of PR spam and the people who make it. What are the benefits and risks of making yourself more available? It's important to know what not to needle people about. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop! Merlin reads some listener mail, and John briefly disappears down a series of recursive memory holes. Talk turns to chairs. Late chairs, lost chairs, and extremely coincidental chairs. _Chairs!_ Finally, since John has recently returned from his Summer trip, it's time to review his vacation results. (_Recorded on Friday, August 2, 2019._)

This week kicks off with John quizzing Merlin about his **vacation results**. After the usual quibbling about terminology, Merlin confesses to being terrible at travel. John thinks vacations don't have to be fun for everybody all the time, but Merlin feels like he was definitely a drag. Can't we just have a plan? If you want ice cream, just put it on the dang calendar. Travel anxiety is discussed. Next up comes an extended meditation on **kitchen things**. Merlin cleans his pan with chain mail, and John's cheese grater finally died. Knives should not be sharp in the wrong places. In what becomes an unintentional **lightning round**, the guys cover internet consumer products, a podcast recommendation, Atari arcade games, more mispronunciation virality, jokes people miss, the Baader–Meinhof Effect, and the pointlessness of asking your family not to talk to you. Merlin tests his wife's mental TiVo-ing skills.

Merlin is not mentally-prepared, but John reminds him that preparedness is an illusion. Or is it? The boys try to remember quotes from _The Godfather_. Sally is a cool name. Your hosts discuss what happens when your friends have different taste in movies, and then you have to listen to them talk about it on a podcast. I mean, who doesn't like _Hot Fuzz_? John and Merlin recall the probematic films of their youth and enumerate several that their kids are specifically not encouraged to watch. John lets his son choose the movie by genre only, and Merlin worries about robbing his kid of a precious film gift. Merlin has thoughts on the humanity of Vines, and John doesn't enjoy Merlin's favorite Vine, although, Merlin really likes John's frog video. Why are the Daddies popping all those cherries, and what's the name of that Ewok guy anyway? In follow-up, Merlin has some excellent ancillary material on _Hamilton_, but John just won't let him have this one. Isolated track videos are discussed. Your hosts struggle through various aspects of Boston indie rock history. This week’s main topic is the controversial debate over running Apple betas. Who should and shouldn’t be running them? What are the risks and benefits? And what happens if all your iCloud data gets borked, smart guy? Things get a little silly, and the guys start doing voices. John has a challenge for Max. In Super Tech Support, John helps Merlin diagnose a weird iOS audio problem. John struggles with his Console, and Merlin does one last voice. (_Recorded on Tuesday, June 25, 2019._)

This week kicks off with John iteerogating Merlin's authentic Italiano recipe for baked ziti. Merlin says it's a hit with his family, but John has a _lot_ of problems with the ingredients. Not least the yogurt. John has a much simpler approach, but Merlin is anxious about stirring the sauce. Sometimes, recipes come with very long anecdotes, and we should be woke about that. Tall poppies think they're better than you, and sometimes, it can be hard to frame the things you choose to make with the world. Merlin's ideas for podcasts are considered and rejected for practical reasons. Next up, John wants to hear about Merlin and his family finally getting to see _Hamilton_. You really get an idea in your head about how something should sound, and then you get all mad when somebody doesn't do the thing. Alex did get better, but his Mother definitely went quick. Also, Éponine loves him—but only on her own. Finally, the boys settle in for a Spoiler Slot on the HBO miniseries, _Chernobyl_. Spoiler horn fires off at `1:02:14`.

This week kicks off with Merlin doing John's bit. Merlin has a new ATP shirt but hasn't earned it yet. Your hosts disagree on which of them has the worse taste and sense of humor. Merlin gender-swaps his face and sends it to John, and this leads to a discussion of hairs. John has some information on genes and earwax. The history of product packaging is discussed. Merlin shares some things he made for a different podcast, and John preemptively declares that he failed at the challenge. Merlin still doesn't understand what's allowed in show notes, and John isn't nearly finished demonstrating that this wasn't the actual challenge. The guys tease some visual homework you might want to watch. In a mini-topic, Merlin complains about words he doesn't like and phrases that should probably be replaced. Maybe he should just pen a piece on their ouster. Unless John takes him to task. There's a brief fever dream on references and pronunciation. John blew the chance to do some of Merlin's bits on his other program, but John couldn't get in. John wants to revisit knife sharpening, but Merlin realizes it's a trap. John thinks the Floppers don't listen to the program, and Merlin implores Stu to please reach out. Miyazaki is quite a smoker. So, of course, smoking is discussed. Provided it makes it into the final edit, your hosts _finally_ discuss the Japanese Moving Video. Believe it or not, John has high expectations about the moving process, and Merlin unsubscribes. Do you have any idea what goes into properly packing books? _Do you?_ (_Recorded on Tuesday, May 28, 2019._)

John is coming in hot this week, and Merlin is kind of struggling to keep up with him. Merlin tries to compensate by making up some lyrics, and John explains canary traps. Merlin forgets things. John intērrogates the virality of podcast mispronunciations, and before long, the listener is subjected to a blinding fusillade of quips, japes, references, bits, and metacommentary that you will be forgiven for finding exhausting. John incepts Merlin, and Merlin regrets doubling-up on his 100-year words. Merlin catches John up on his cat's costly health issues, and John has a nested solution for dealing with feline proprioception issues. Then, they almost talk about the Japanese Moving Video, but they don't actually talk about it, so John says it still can't be in the show notes. Apparently, people are drinking bleach, and Merlin's mouse starts to die. For a main topic, your hosts fire off the Spoiler Horn (`47:31`) to talk about _Game of Thrones_. In particular, they consider fan reactions to the final episode (including their own), but also want to explore _why_ those reactions were so strong. Also, what is a rational response when a bit of media that you love breaks the rules that made you love it in the first place? (_Recorded on Tuesday, May 21, 2019._)

This week kicks off with John confronting Merlin about his lack of a checklist and Merlin confronting John about his paltry micturition. This leads to Merlin explaining why he's a recycling whale who deliberately withholds his bounty from one particular Tusken Raider. Going to the bathroom can be a sleep-extinction event. John's kids can't print, and now it's _his_ fault. Merlin's kid still can't activate planning mode. There are generally concerns about declaring "done." Preparedness drills and contingency protocols are implemented. John worries that his children will die of exposure. Everybody's pretty much done with buying nice clothes. Suddenly, John gets all aggressive about getting to the main topic, and Merlin has a terrible time adjusting. He's supposed to be ready for anything, and now John has gotten thrown off his rhythm. This week's main topic, at last, is **Jobs We Were Terrible At**. No spoilers provided here except to say that John wanted a job related to computers, and Merlin wasn't as good as he thought at one of his favorite and canonical jobs. Lots of good talk about understanding (or misunderstanding) your own expertise, and trying to learn something useful from "failure." Finally, John utterly eviscerates Merlin's links on behalf of you, the listener. (_Recorded on Tuesday, May 7, 2019._)

This week kicks off with some follow-up on John's epic fridge journey. In addition to *many* photos of uneven refrigerator doors, John has also received several warnings about what he needs to be watching out for. John also appends his anecdote to include a related new appliance, and Merlin recommends a tactical ice option. Your hosts discuss the mysterious tween Whisper Network. Merlin thinks John might be a Buddhist. John revisits Merlin's oopsies with apparently not remembering to record podcasts. There's initially some confusion about lists, but there's clearly no confusion about Merlin's overdue need for a checklist. Merlin hopes that John can help remove his defects of character. John shares that he didn't get his money's worth from a recent podcast. In a mini-topic, your hosts talk about _Game of Thrones_ and kids. Hey, everybody likes dragons, but could you ever *really* produce a suitably kid-friendly version that makes any sense at all? An edited collection exists, but John is definitely not sold on how the edits got made. Merlin suffers a brief distraction to perform some financial tech support, and John briefly impersonates a YouTuber. Merlin needs some help finding an artifact from his youth, and John has beef with whether the artifact is actually funny. Then, that becomes a whole thing, and the guys reminisce about old newspaper cartoons. Next up is what John describes as a "quick item" about buying a couch. The struggle is real, people, and John hasn't seen anything he really likes. John has twice as many kids as Merlin, and they loosen the legs of things. Your hosts seem to agree on the widespread problem of improper furniture scale, but they do forgive the monsters their Brobdingnagian home furnishings since they live in the midwest. Which is large. Is it okay for a couch to be permanently moist? Finally, John closes by extolling the benefits of a proper headboard. (_Recorded on Tuesday, April 23, 2019._)

Your hosts discuss John’s new refrigerator.

This week kicks off with a critique of the GUI for Skype. What’s Merlin’s problem with Swing anyway? John introduces the “MPU” then mostly agrees to drive. John interrogates Merlin about a recent and notorious technical problem with one of his other programs. There is talk of check lists plus more fretfulness about the topic that cannot be discussed. Next, your hosts respond at length to a listener’s question about things they’ve given up. Status is less pursued, insight on privilege is sought, and hope for interesting side projects is, alas, abandoned. Finally, John looks for help regarding the help he was offered by an internet quiz. (_Recorded on Tuesday, March 26, 2019._)

This week, Merlin feels a little thin, and John *still* has to re-position his windows. Every time. John has follow-up on peanut butter and a theory about the balls in Merlin's brain. In further follow-up, John has achieved success in his ticking-clock _Destiny_ project, but it doesn't mean quite as much as his achievement in _Super Monkey Ball_. In related news, a regular _Destiny_ segment is not currently planned. Merlin is very happy with the streaming quality of _Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse_, and your hosts agree it's sometimes hard to know exactly what you're getting with iTunes movies. In one of their least controversial discussions, your hosts also agree that *The Godfather Part II* is very good. John shares follow-up on his Apple ID adventure, and Merlin doesn't like when Apple payment stuff acts weird. This leads to some long-overdue exploration of the terribleness of credit cards and banks' erratic fraud detection. Why are you mad at me? Do you recognize this purchase? Daylight Saving Time and childhood bedtimes are discussed. This is not a juggling time. This week, we fire off the horn at **`1:12:16`** for a Spoiler Slot on the 2018 documentary, _Free Solo_.

Merlin thinks John is late, and John thinks Merlin needs to check his NTP server. Merlin's family is watching *The Office*, and this leads to a discussion of sitcom conceits. John assigned some secondary homework this week, so the trailer for _Yesterday_ is considered. Merlin realizes he shouldn't look at links, and John almost admits to liking a given time-travel movie. John has questions about the provenance of "karmasuck," and Merlin accidentally talks like Mario. Other purported Merlinisms plus business jargon are discussed. In one of the greatest reveals of the podcast, John reminds Merlin what "peanut butter" means. Merlin almost did his primary homework, but John agrees it had arrived really late. It's called _Free Solo_, and you should watch it for future discussion. John's palms have only ever been more sweaty when playing the video game, *Super Monkey Ball*. Then, John describes the video game, *Super Monkey Ball*. This leads to updates on John's current video game project in _Destiny_. Merlin thinks John should have a podcast about _Destiny_, while John thinks John shouldn't have a podcast about _Destiny_, and he explains why. Merlin has a possibly-apocryphal anecdote about The Beatles (assuming they existed). John has trouble finding tickets for a movie, and Merlin's wife is going to run for a very long time. John thinks Merlin should encourage his family to save themselves. Merlin needs to be rebooted, and John shares a harrowing ordeal involving Apple IDs. John says you can't locate a corpse using RFID since that's not how it works. (_Recorded on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019._)

This week kicks off with some weather talk but quickly pivots to the frustrating world of presentations and bad presentation culture. Why does this have to take over the whole screen, and why is that control thingee covering a bunch of the slide? Also, who just joined the call? In a mini-topic, Merlin risks John's wrath by asking a technical question: *why* does turning something off and on fix so many problems? John has answers, and anecdotes about state-confused devices are shared. Why won't children let parents share their expertise with them? Just, why? John has a mental model about how the TV remotes flow, but no one seems very interested. Unsurprisingly, this leads to the airing of household grievances. Can't we just always have the flaps face the same way? Shouldn't we just stack the forks here in the forks area? Why is Daisy leaving caltrops in the hallway? Does a child's backpack really need to extend seventeen feet? Can we please just leave some space that accommodates the snack bags? Do we really need _all_ this toothpaste? **_Good try!_**

This week kicks off with John reminding Merlin he needs to study up to make better jokes. Merlin thinks John just needs to buy a better long sword at the pop-up. Things move quickly into a mini-topic on the *Black Mirror* episode, "Bandersnatch." Does this unusual experiment potentially represent a new way of telling stories, and can we expect to see more uses of interactive tech on TV? John has strong opinions on the platforms that are best suited for video-game-like interaction. Meanwhile, Merlin is still anxious that he picked the wrong cereal. Controversial British comedians are hotly debated. John removes Merlin's changes to the Google Doc. *Again*. This week's sprawling main topic is "Emotional Labor." Why is it that women usually get saddled with being the Office Mom (as well as the "House Mom"), and why the heck doesn't Ralphie's dad help Randy put on his snowsuit? Who ends up ordering the birthday cake as well as justifying the ways of boss to employee? Further, how do we account for the tonnage of invisible work that, by custom more than policy, some people end up having to both identify *and* do? John thinks people don't realize how exploited they are, and Merlin cops to having bizarre personal hangups that make common power differentials infuriating. Finally, how do we get better at identifying the unfair distribution of emotional labor, and what even can we do about it? Putting up with this stuff may come down to a coastal disposition about people who flake. The lessons of _Survivor_ are invoked. (_Recorded on Tuesday, January 29th, 2019._)

This week kicks off with a warning. Merlin has had some small reboots, and John learned about a new brain disease. John confronts Merlin on his disloyalty, and this leads to John interrogating Merlin's newfound fondness for NBA basketball. Yes: sports are discussed. Then things turn to some follow-up on Merlin's recent office cleanup, and John introduces how refuse is "aging" in his house. Merlin cops to some stacking and defends his fad diet. John's weight is within his limits, but, man, does he have beef with pants sizes, and Merlin is very sympathetic. Your hosts both want people to eventually tell them the truth. This week also features the premiere of `#AskRecDiffs`, in which _your_ questions are answered. This week's question concerns adjusting to major milestones in life. John got on-board with his re-prioritizations, but Merlin confesses to missing the lightness of his youth. John has a strategy for eventually going fishing, and Merlin continues to aggressively project-manage his life. At least there's no more dealing with roommates, amirite? (_Recorded on Tuesday, January 15th, 2019._)

This week, John is just back from his holiday trip, and Merlin thinks he's a *titan*. Merlin's daughter wants to be a monk, and the art of AD&D is discussed. John has more questions about Merlin's Britishisms. We are introduced to "Hello, Richard" and the flats of San Francisco are re-litigated. The taxonomy of the Google doc is also re-litigated. Although it won't turn into one-third of every episode, listeners are invited to ask your hosts questions via "`#AskRecDiffs`". In what becomes a mini-topic, your hosts fantasize about **Break Time**, and what one does when one has a little time to oneself. Sleeping counts. Also, where, again have all the scissors gone? Have we just stopped doing Inside Voice? A listener thinks there's too much talk about TV, but it is stipulated that TV is part of our lives. In further follow-up, your hosts talk more about _Survivor_. John says Merlin is still watching it wrong, and John finished Season 37. He has thoughts. _Survivor_ rules, tactics, and editing are considered. Then, there's more **Project Talk**. Merlin introduces the idea of "The Message Gift," and John wonders if Merlin's new desk has memory. Amazon should let you say when a box is from Santa. So much cardboard. And, now the IKEA child's kitchen is in danger of being disappeared. John is just slightly rearranging things, and Merlin's door still wants to kill him. (_Recorded on Tuesday, January 1st, 2019._)

Things kick off with some discussion of the recent _Do By Friday_ Holiday Party, then John takes the axe to Merlin's latest experiment with the show doc. In follow-up, John catches us up on how his jammed thumb is mending, and your hosts talk about TV fixes and calibration. John reminds Merlin what they've already talked about. The list of Big Topics is briefly scanned. In further follow-up, Merlin asks about locating hard-to-find Mac files, and John wishes Merlin had asked him about what he was actually trying to accomplish. Early OS X is discussed, and Merlin reminds John how much he liked _Hypercritical_. Merlin encourages John not to Google something. This week's main topic is the long-running ABC reality show, _Survivor_. Perhaps you've heard of it. But, with Merlin (finally) watching it for the first time in earnest, this provides John the opportunity to talk about why he's watched it since season 1, why he likes it so much, and what it is that makes the show special. Merlin repeatedly says "Season 24" when he meant to say "Season 20," and John expresses admiration for how the show cannily evolves for the better. (_Recorded on Tuesday, December 18th, 2018._)

This week kicks off with a dive into the sad world of middle-aged injuries and afflictions. John missed a step, and Merlin experiences a grave sweatpant malfunction. Does it always take this long to heal, and why do people keep putting things in other people’s areas? John interrogates Merlin about his heartbeat, and Merlin reveals he’s conducting a personal longitudinal study. John still has concerns, and the problem of unreliable podcast statistics comes up. John tracks the nutrition stats for his fad diet in his head. Self-knowledge and mindfulness are explored. Merlin has the receipts on Mr. Davison’s butts, and pretty much everybody used to smoke. At `1:24:28`, the spoiler horn fires off for a discussion of the Amazon Prime Video series, _Homecoming_. (_Recorded on Tuesday, December 4th, 2018._)

This week’s *wraparound episode* kicks off with coverage of Merlin's new overalls and baby-bottle-nipple hat. John has some thoughts on this new sartorial turn, and Merlin has questions about John's sleep. Merlin gets an alarming message. Merlin expresses gratitude for John's introduction to a new band, and this leads to a discussion of how your hosts discover, consume, and curate music these days. Who's wearing a Beatles wig, and when does it work? Tricking kids into liking music is considered. Your hosts agree that children are the worst. Stupid babies. In follow-up, Merlin apologizes for the recent crappiness of an app he'd recommended, and John talks about the simple problem he actually needs to solve. Bad TV interfaces come up. Yes, *again*. Merlin has questions about John's fad diet, and John still loves carbs. Diets are further discussed. *Saturday is treat day*. Finally, John helps Merlin understand which places are and are not on Long Island. (_Recorded on Tuesday, November 15th, 2018._)

This week kicks off with the Mid-Term Election Extravaganza. Merlin is definitely not watching the results, and John realizes he shouldn’t have checked in at all. Listeners are assigned Spoiler Slot homework being the Amazon Prime series, _Homecoming_. Also, upon John’s recommendation, Merlin bought a very large book. Your hosts talk about the phenomenon of The Movie Before the Movie, and where it’s been best deployed. John talks about the ordering of a homework laptop. This leads to a discussion of the access to technology most schools seem to assume all their students will have. And, wow, so many channels to monitor. John knows there’s _something_ going on, and Merlin feels like Ron Weasley. Is Thursday definitely ukulele pants day? The new look of Chrome is disparaged at length. John has numerous notes and corrections regarding how Merlin is not helping John Roderick. Your hosts explore the shocking incuriosity of children and the prevalence of butt-dialing. John has a lot of questions about band names. Merlin checks in on the election. This week’s main topic concerns the Gimlet podcast, _Heavyweight_, and how we think about redoing (or undoing) the past. (_Recorded on Tuesday, November 6th, 2018._)

This week kicks off with some *Dear Evan Hansen* talk, and Merlin admits he still hasn’t *earned* the second act. This leads John to interrogate this odd affliction of Merlin’s. Both hosts finally address how, whether, and when they commit to the full consumption of cultural products. Why does John so often stick with the whole season of a C-plus TV show, and when does Merlin know he’s ready for the second half of a given Broadway hit? This leads to a broader discussion of what gets you hooked on, especially, a TV show. Is it the world, the rules, the mood, or what? Sometimes, we just want to spend time in a world with our friends. Merlin finally asks John to explain his fondness for apocalyptic literature and media. Is it the desperation, the canny resource management, or just the lighter traffic and dearth of meetings? This goes to interesting places as your hosts recount growing up in the long shadow of imminent nuclear annihilation and terrifying epidemics. Naturally, this takes the discourse toward generalized anxieties, grave money concerns, and the neural rewiring that remains years after the animating experiences that first made us so broken. A chaste new society is pondered and provisionally named. (_Recorded on Tuesday, October 23, 2018._)

This week, Merlin has a lot going on, and John has questions about how _Do By Friday_ works behind the scenes. In turn, Merlin has some iCloud questions for John. There is discussion of photo management and the trend line for Apple’s dependability in services. John worries about losing his hearts, and Merlin gets some really terrible prints made. In-home intercom systems are recalled, and the sorry state of your hosts’ childhood electronics is explored. Updates to smart cylinders and screens are considered. John likes trying to stump his dinguses, and Merlin gets excited to regroup his speakers. Merlin thinks John should make his family listen to the radio, and John frets about his children’s (literal) attachment to their devices. In this week’s main topic, John recounts his recent experience seeing _Hamilton_ live on stage. As usual, Merlin is scared about what he’ll say. Also, as usual, Merlin ends up being That Guy as he stans for American musicals and pines for high-quality moms in _Dear Evan Hansen_, making this up as he goes. Finally, there’s a mostly spoiler-free discussion of Netflix’s _Maniac_. (_Recorded on Thursday, October 11, 2018._)

This week, John has a musical request for Merlin, and Merlin agrees to hop on the court. This leads to a discussion of musical fingernail trimming, and the revelation of an upsetting new callus. John has questions about Merlin’s crazy bandwidth. This leads to misty, water-colored memories of the way we downloaded. Time was, no one could get ISDN, and John makes a funny goof. John did not fix the document. In follow-up, Merlin has an update on homework at after-care, then kind of goes off about who is and is _not_ allowed to boss his family. John worries about discovering the real reason dingalings do what they do. In further follow-up, John addresses feedback from Listener Todd about Merlin’s TV settings. John suggests the only real way to calibrate your screen. Don’t worry; they make it fun. Merlin thinks Netflix’s 4k quality may have ruined him, and a nerdy TV site is endorsed. Merlin gets John invited to a Slack, and John explains _Star Wars_ razors. At `1:31:45`, Jim fires off the Spoiler Horn for a discussion of HBO’s series, _Succession_. (_Recorded on Tuesday, September 25, 2018._)

This week kicks off with some complaining about Google’s UI cruft. Also, why are school websites so bad? Technology old and new is discussed. John just wants to upload a photo, and Merlin learns a _lot_ about targeted individuals. John is skeptical about whether this is really a thing, but Merlin is pretty sure it is. John thinks Merlin missed an opportunity to be a guru, and Merlin has thoughts on how not to be that particular guy. In further discussion of crappy business software and practices, your hosts reminisce about Gantt charts and other bad ideas. Managers just want to know what people are doing, and sometimes that takes a surprising amount of effort. Merlin thinks hammers and nails are a problem for everybody, so…where are we with that? John and Merlin argue about the Google doc for a *pretty* long time. In further important metatalk, past and future homework is reviewed. Merlin has beef with Slate. In follow-up, John is brought up to speed on the situation with homework at aftercare. Merlin endorses _Succession_ for John, but not without (yes, more) complaining. What is the DEAL with HBO’s video quality and excruciating banding and artifacts? John notices these things too and thinks compression is an issue. Too many channels in the band! John just wants correct 24 frames-per-second. John endorses _Castle Rock_, and Merlin has an app for John to track his TV watching. In the interest of consistency, the episode ends with yet more complaining. (_Recorded on Tuesday, September 11, 2018._)