Rapid Fire: Marriage Straight Talk

Sports fans are often more competitive than the athletes themselves, especially when it comes to defending their teams. Spouses can be just as competitive with each other, especially when defending their opinions.

When it comes to celebrating sports teams, people can get a bit crazy. When it comes to celebrating our marriages, we can get a bit crazy as well. An Estimated $18 billion was spent on Valentine’s Day in 2017. But unlike our passion for sports, too often our passion for our spouses is forced or mandated.

Have you ever made your wife cry? Do you know how to make your wife cry? In this episode, we discuss how to make your wife cry, in a good way.

How trustworthy are you? Studies found that you must follow through on 90% of your promises to be considered trustworthy. If you want to build or rebuild trust in your marriage or any relationship for that matter, take extra care to think through your ability to honor your word before you give it. Intending to do something, unfortunately, is not worth anything.

We have only 24 hours in a day and after sleep, work, kids activities, and chores we're lucky if we have even an hour remaining for our spouses. In reality, we typically have more pull on our time than we have to offer and it's our spouses that suffer the most. Learn how to avoid that cycle in this episode.

A puppy love marriage is built on short-lived interactions of affection toward each other. When our spouses give us their attention, we get excited, energetic, and much more affectionate. However, when their attention is consumed by something else, we can feel abandoned, lethargic, and unaffectionate toward them.

The original design for marriage is quite simple, leave your father and mother and become one with your wife. Even though that design was penned around 1446 BC, many couples today are still confused about what becoming one actually means. In this episode we break it down for you.

Within marriage, entrapment is when you set up a situation whereby your spouse is almost guaranteed to fail. In other words, you put your spouse in a situation where there is a high probability they will disappoint you.

Do you remember your wedding vow? Regardless of whether or not you remember exactly what you said, do you at least remember what the vow represented? The wedding vow is an important part of the marriage ceremony but to be honest, most couples don't really understand what the vow represents. In the episode we explain what the wedding vow actually represents and why both spouses are required to agree to it.

In this episode I discuss how the concept of a bellhop can be applied to your marriage by leaving your baggage at the back door.

What does lemonade have to do with Marriage? A lot, actually, since both have ingredients that are a bit sour. In the episode, learn how much sugar is needed for the sweet times to overpower the sour ones.

Resolutions are nothing more than a wish unless you have a plan. When it comes to putting together a plan, especially for a great marriage, the trick is to take baby steps and to be flexible.

The urban use of the term ‘Gold Standard’ identifies something as the model of excellence, the highest standard, and the best something can be. The ‘Gold Standard’ for the expression of love in marriage is found in the Bible in First Corinthians chapter 13.

The holiday season can bring with it a lot of stress. A 2011 study found that 1 in 5 couples who choose to split up, do so in the month of December. In this episode we discuss how to avoid stress and the arguments that come with it.

If we are going to get gifts this holiday season, we might as well get the gifts we really want. Learn how to get what you really want this year.

8 out of 10 Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, yet the average person will spend over $900 on gifts in the next couple of month. In the episode we discuss how to financially survive the next couple of months.

Communication is about emotions, not just the facts. This is true when sharing about a good time as well as when discussing an issue that’s placing a strain on the marriage. However, it is much more critical to understand this when dealing with the latter, meaning the issues.

When it comes to marriage, the concept of endurance training is somewhat applicable. Not in the sense of physical exercises, but in the sense of emotional exercises. Our lives get very hectic and if we don't incorporate some recovery time, we will burn out at the expense of our marriage.

General advice is very helpful. It gives you an idea of where you need to place your focus and what areas you should seek more personal advice. Personalizing general advice to can lead to very different applications. In this episode, we'll look at how being a doormat in one marriage was a good thing and how it was destructive in another one.

I really do have a picture perfect marriage. Not because my marriage is made up of nothing but perfect pictures, but because I’ve chosen to put just the perfect pictures in the album that I keep in my minds eye.

If couples could see the depth of the pain, I believe many of them would understand just how much they really do love each other. If they could just learn to measure the depth of their love by the depth of their pain they may just be willing to give it one more shot, one last run at turning their marriage around.

To whom should you turn when you need marriage advice? In this episode I discuss why you should avoid advice from family and friends.

Which of these two statements is true: A GOOD marriage produces a HAPPY spouse or A HAPPY spouse produces a GOOD marriage? We'll break these down and I'll provide some insights the will hopefully help you to a Happy and Good marriage.

Marriage is difficult, it's hard work, and it's complicated. Have you heard or even said things like that? Well, I don't think marriage is difficult or hard work or even complicated. In this episode, I explain why I believe that to be true.

What makes a good marriage good. Why are some marriages able to handle stress better than others? Why do some couples just seem to get along with each other better and why do some marriages thrive where others fail?

At some point, and more likely, at several points, life is going to throw a few curveballs at you. This is true in life and it's true in marriage. When trials come, when your marriage gets hit with a curveball, there are only two options: push away from each other or hold each other up.

Chapter 12: Appendix, 30 x 30 Challenge. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. Sometimes, something as simple as a walk can radically transform your marriage. In this episode, you'll learn more about this transformational challenge.

Chapter 11: Final Word, This Is Not A Game. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. The fight for your marriage will be the toughest battle of your life. However, a successful campaign offers the greatest rewards. You can do this.

Chapter 10: Real Life, Riding Out The Storms. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. One of the toughest battles you’ll face is the battle for your marriage because you’re going to experience heavy turbulence multiple times. This is going to be tough, and at times the pressure will seem unbearable.

Chapter 9: Gifts From The Heart. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. What do gifts really say to your wife? Does it say: I thought of you, I appreciate you, and I love you? We certainly think so. But, what does the gift itself say. Does it say, I got you this because I had to or it's the first thing I saw? In this episode, we discuss how to give gifts that actually say what you mean for them to say.

Chapter 8: Emergency Exits. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. Arguments are never fun. I’m not talking about debates; I’m referring to heated discussions where voices are raised, blood pressure is elevated, and feelings get crushed. Since these will happen from time to time, I'm going to suggest a couple of rules you can implement to help minimize the damage and expedite the recovery process.

Chapter 7: Smoke & Mirrors (Four Steps Backwards, Two Forward) “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. Spouses use ‘smoke and mirrors’ to hide or disguise their true feelings to avoid being emotionally hurt. This is especially true when the marriage is at or close to the divorce stage. In this episode, we breakdown the process to seeing through the smoke.

Chapter 6 - Wall (Protecting and Destroying Marriages Every Day). “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. All marriages contain both positive and negative walls to some extent. In this episode we discuss different types of walls, why they exist, and how to safely tear them down.

Chapter 5 - Getting Past the Past. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. If what has happened up to now in your marriage is going to be a factor going forward, you’ll never get past the past. In this episode, learn about forgiveness how to move past a past hurt.

Chapter 4 - Why Him, Why Her. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. Joe was married to Katy for eighteen years. They were both burned out on the cycle of ups and downs. Neither wanted a divorce, but neither knew what to do next. In this episode we discuss how to get historical…in a good way.

Chapter 3 - Take Ownership of Your Marriage. “For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide” -Robert Cossick. Frank and Alice were married over twenty years and had been to several counselors over the course of their marriage. My solution for their marriage was to no longer meet with them. Find out why in this episode.

Chapter 2 - Fired Up About Marriage. "For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide" -Robert Cossick. Half the battle to have a passionate and thriving marriage is won or lost with attitude, because your attitude will drive the level of your effort.

Chapter 1 - A Practical and Quick Reference. "For The Honor of The Vow - Field Guide" -Robert Cossick

Have you settled in your marriage? In this episode, we discuss why couples settle for a mediocre marriage and how to make it better.

Should you have to prove your love for your spouse? How about this follow on question...How do you prove your love for your spouse? We tackle both of these questions in this episode.

I want to discuss a relatively sensitive topic today that causes all kinds of issues in a marriage….Happiness. Why would the topic of happiness be a sensitive issue? Simple, because many couples think it's their spouse's job to make them happy. In the episode, we will discuss whose job it is.

Words are powerful things and unfortunately, once they are out there, there's no taking them back. When it comes to words, several areas need to be addressed such as before they ever come out, what to do when they do come out and how to get beyond what was said. We’ll address all three areas in this episode.

Marriage is hard. A phrase uttered often by couples. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are nine simple guidelines to developing and maintaining a great marriage. And, they all start with the letter A to make it even simpler.

Collateral benefits are unintended or unexpected benefits from actions toward another person. These benefits can be very influential. Because they are unintended, they are typically received as genuine and not fabricated.

I want to ask you a question that I hope you will carefully consider. If you are honest in your answer, this question will provide great insight into the current state of your marriage. And, it will provide you with a view of how you can improve your marriage regardless of how strong or weak its current state.

When you said, “I do” you committed to marrying the whole package, warts and all. Warts, or flaws, are those annoying things that just grate on you after a while, especially after the infatuation fades a bit in your relationship. In this episode we discuss how to deal with warts that won't go away.

Regardless of the state of your marriage, there’s one rule of thumb that always applies, if you want to improve your marriage, you have to be seriously intentional about it.

The best gifts you can give your kids, especially your daughters, is to love their mother. When I say love their mother, I’m not talking about just saying it, I’m talking about living it.

We celebrate all kinds of things. Some celebrations are big and long lasting. Other celebrations are smaller and in a more intimate setting. Regardless of the venue, to celebrate someone is to give him or her praise, and to confirm his or her importance. How well do you score in this important areas of marriage?

Zealous means, ‘one who is eagerly devoted or deeply committed to a person or thing.’ It means to be passionate, excited, and on-fire for. In this episode we explore the question, “What if all of us were zealous for our marriages and our spouses?”