Rapid Fire: Marriage Straight Talk

Great marriages typically don’t just happen, they take work. if you want a great marriage or just a greater marriage, you need to lay the groundwork and that groundwork is rooted in feelings.

Where do you start when a couple tells you that this is the last chance? I start with asking, "Do you despise your spouse or the current state of your marriage?" If it's the latter we can fix that and in this episode we start with the failures themselves.

Being out of work can result in excessive pressure on even a strong marriage. But, if your marriage is struggling, it can lead to its total destruction. In this episode we discuss ways to prevent financial stress from ripping your marriage to pieces.

I want to discuss a touchy topic today because too many couples have no idea how to handle this topic and it is one of the top five areas of tension in a marriage. I am talking about in-laws. All too often the in-laws are at the heart of the failure of a marriage.

We come into a marriage with Expectations that were formed from all kinds of sources. For every Expectation there is a corresponding Reality. Sometimes those two parts are very close together meaning…what we expected is pretty close to what is actually happening. Other times, these two parts are miles from each other and we have a huge gap between them. In this episode we discuss how to close the gap.

The first rule when dealing with Threats to a marriage is...protecting egos and pride is a waste of everyone's time. Threats will kill a marriage and just about any attempt to save a marriage, so they have to be eliminated immediately and completely.

When it comes to opportunities…it all comes down to perspective. When an opportunity presents itself, it can have a positive or a negative impact on the marriage depending on how you perceive and react to it. In this episode we discuss how to identify an opportunity and react to it in a way that will improve your marriage. We also discuss what to do when you miss an opportunity.

Strengths are characteristics, personality traits, habits, etc. that are foundational to the success of the marriage. However, many times couples feel powerless in overcoming or stoping weaknesses. The weaknesses we are talking about here are areas where one or both of the spouses are just not strong. In this episode we discuss how to use both to improve your marriage.

Similar techniques to the turnaround of a company can be applied to the turnaround of a marriage as well. The first step is to stabilize the marriage then assess the marriage. The latter is accomplished using the business tool, S.W.O.T analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats). In this series we apply each component of this business tool to the turnaround of a marriage.

The Biblical love triangle for a marriage includes: the husband, the wife and God. In this episode we discuss what it means to put God in the center of your marriage and how to actually do that.

Today I’m am going to teach you how to get away with lying. Actually, that’s not true, but I do discuss secrets in marriage and how to rebuild trust once it is broken.

Commitment is not only about honoring a promise, it also about your attitude in fulfilling that promise. Your Commitment is also the direct outward expression of your integrity. Integrity is doing what is right even when no one is watching and fulfilling a promise even when the recipient of that promise doesn’t deserve it. Commitment is honoring your word for no other reason than because you gave your word.

If you want to influence anyone to do anything, the best advice I can give you is to live it out yourself.

Communication is a major issue in marriage. When I ask couples the question, “What can your spouse do better to help the marriage” the wives will almost universally answer, “Talk with me more.” In this episode, tips and tricks to communicating better.

Trust is foundational to a marriage. If you don't have it or it’s been damaged in your marriage, please know that it can be rebuilt. Even a marriage suffering from adultery can rebuild trust. Like most steps to a great marriage, it is tough work, but it is well worth the effort.

When it comes to tearing down walls in your marriage that are separating the two of you, you are going to need to be thick skinned. Tearing down walls is going to be tough and emotionally painful, but not impossible.

Every marriage has built walls between the husband and wife. Some are small and easily ignored such as an annoying habit. Others are so high and thick they appear to be immovable. In this episode we discuss how to avoid creating walls in your marriage and how to tear down those that already exist.

Ever feel like everything just stinks. In this episode we discuss being in a 'Funk' and how to get out of it.

I thought we would have a little fun today and talk about innies and outies. No…I’m not talking about your bellybutton, I’m talking about your personality…are you an introvert or an extravert? In this episode we discuss how these personalities can have a major impact on your marriage.

If you’ve been married any length of time you probably heard at least once the phrase, “I love you but I don’t like you right now” Is that even possible? In this episode learn what each of you really wants from your marriage.

In this episode I present a topic you probably don't think about much, your wedding ring and what it actually represents. It's so much more than just a symbol of a union between two people.

What does the entrepreneur show, Shark Tank, have in common with repairing a marriage? Much like entrepreneurs who allow their emotions to drive their reactions, when trying to repair a marriage it's a recipe for disaster.

Everyone knows that men and women are different, but have you ever thought about that difference with respect to the way they think. In this episode we explore how women are multi-thought oriented and men…well not so much.

Disappointment in marriage is the result of the gap between what is expected and what is reality. If left unchecked, disappointment will lead to resentment. There is a simply way to reduce the gap, well it’s sort of simple.

When setting out to rebuild a marriage the first step is to understand the goal, which is a great marriage. In this episode learn how to work at rebuilding the marriage by focusing on the issues instead of the character.

If you are feeling discouraged and that there is no hope for your marriage, this episode will help to change that. Real examples are provided to encourage you to stay in the fight for a great marriage.

Money is often cited as the cause of divorce. Although money problems do contribute to the stress, it is not the real cause for divorce. In this episode learn the root of the problem and how to prevent money from being an issue.

The Bible says that a man and a women shall ‘become one’ when they get married. What does ‘become one’ look like…it looks like scrambled eggs. when you scramble eggs the yoke is mixed with the whites of the egg and you can no longer separate them.

In a marriage respect and love are critical, but there is a difference in being loved and feeling loved. The same is true for respect. Learn the difference and how to improve both.

Many marriages are having problems because they make marriage way too complicated. Learn how to simplify your marriage is three easy steps.

How much value do you place on your wife? Put a number to it…on a scale of 1 to 10, what number would you assign to the value you place on her? In this episode we discuss how you value your wife based on usefulness, importance, worth and desirability. Probably not what you're thinking.

What is the long-term plan for your life? What about your family, what do you want for your family? If you have kids, what do you want for each of them individually? If you’re like most, you probably can give general answers to each of those question, such as to be successful, healthy and have long productive lives. However, if you can’t provide specific answers to those questions then you have a bit of work ahead of you.

Marriage advice from friends and family may seem like good and helpful advice, but I would highly advise against it. In this episode I’ll explain why marriage advice from friends and family have be more harmful than beneficial for your marriage.

Stereotypes about a husband and wife's roles are irrelevant when you are trying to make your marriage as strong as possible. Discover how to identify strengths and then divide to maximize the efficiency of your marriage.

Conflict in your marriage can't be eliminated but it can certainly be minimized. All you need is a standard that doesn't change.

What are the most damaging things that couples argue about…tooth paste, toilet paper and dishwashers. In this episode find out why these are so damaging to a marriage and learn how to play strip arguing.

Do you need more time in your day? How about more time with your spouse? Time together doesn’t just happen; you need to be intentional about making it happen. In this episode, you will be challenged to analyze your time and encouraged to give more of it to your spouse.

Do you ever feel like your spouse deserves better or maybe you deserve better than your spouse? We hit this topic head-on and provide an alternative option.

Every marriage needs a break. Sometimes it’s a break from each other, meaning a girls or guys night out or some other activity where you can bond with friends. And sometimes it's a break from life which is when the two of you do something together so you can strengthen the bond with each other by focussing on nothing but each other.

The topic is geared toward a marriage facing divorce, but I have found that it is just as valuable to a healthy marriage. A marriage at the divorce stage doesn’t need saving; it needs rebuilding.

Have you ever been asked to define love with respect to marriage. So many couples attach actions to love which results in great disappointment. In this episode, learn what the Biblical definition of love in marriage means.

Intentional Intimacy. Spontaneity is great but if that's your only plan for intimacy I suspect you will be frustrated most of the time. Being intentional about intimacy builds anticipation and excitement.

'We always argue' is a stupid and one of the most selfish reasons for getting a divorce. In this episode, learn techniques for how to stop arguing.

Flowers, chocolate and ten apologies and she's still mad at you. There is something missing in your apology and starts with one word.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools a couple has. Use it wisely and you can recover from most any trial. Use it poorly and you will destroy your marriage.

Many couples wake up one day and realize they've lost connection with each and it seems like they are miles apart. That's because if you are not growing together, you are growing apart, there is no standing still. This episode covers one area you can address to begin to reverse the cycle or prevent it from the start of your marriage.

Empathy is the ability to, first and foremost, understand someone’s feelings. Whether you think the feelings are warranted or justified is completely irrelevant.

Ever wish you could do a better job at balancing your time between work and family? Well, the secret is not balance of time but structure.

A great marriage doesn't just happen, it happens because two people were intentional about making it a great marriage.

What does it mean that the marriage bed must be undefiled? If undefiled means pure, what constitutes pure and what exactly must be kept pure? This episode gets a bit more personal and a bit more direct.