podcasts – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

In which no one wants to be compared to Chris Bachalo; it’s always a holiday for Generation X; you may already be a Guthrie; M is a fascinating mystery; and Black Tom Cassidy (finally) makes his move.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Blindseer0.

In which what happens in space stays in space; a horse is imperiled; Joseph does some dubious science; Gladiator’s name is absolutely not Gary; everybody gets new costumes; and we learn where babies come from.

In which our favorite(?) fear lord returns; Sirocco Sprawls is an extremely unpleasant fictional town; the Juggernaut is not a subtle man; we really need to get our hands on the Generation X novels; Tarot gets a logo font; and Banshee is menaced by spectral leprechauns.

In which Domino’s miniseries earns a grade of “present”; Miles gets to know Sam Hill; Domino trades pouches for boots; and we would prefer that you not sexualize Lady Deathstrike. X-PLAINED: Halloween Jack Domino (Neena Thurman) Domino #1-3 Milo Thurman The idiomatic Sam Hill Lady Deathstrike (again) The Reavers (again)

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Chuck Reynolds.

In which we begin John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; Latveria is less fun without Doctor Doom; there may still be a tiny clone of Meltdown running around; Forearm is a good pal; Marvel Asgard is a realm of crossover fan fiction; and you should totally watch both Our Flag Means Death and Doom Patrol.

In which there is definitely a wrong way to enjoy your comics; Storm could probably use a more secure storage system; the Externals need more camp; and Joseph makes some valid points.

In which Frank Punisher is not a role model; Carl the X-Cutioner is not very good at secret identities; Miles tries his hand at poetry; and everything’s funny with a sidecar.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Andy Bartholomew.

In which the Drake Roberts identity is retired; Gambit bonds with William Drake; Graydon Creed is evil but nondescript; tales of Pyro’s death have been somewhat exaggerated; and some mysteries resolve better than others. X-PLAINED: Damian Tryp X-Factor (more) (again) Uncanny X-Men #340 X-Factor #128-30 More Drake family dynamics The

In which the first Magneto miniseries is actually a Joseph miniseries; Magneto lost a lot of nuance in the ‘90s; Fabian Cortez is friend to neither man nor bird; Joseph finds his inner supervillain; Marvel’s United Nations is unusually heavily armed; and bears are much cooler than guns.

In which Douglock is Douglock; Kitty Pryde gets lost in nostalgia; it continues to suck to be Colossus; Professor Xavier is a jerk; the MLF makes one and only one valid point; Ben Raab’s Excalibur run begins; the Acolytes try to get the band back together; and the land mines are a metaphor that are also real land mines.

This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week’s topic was chosen by Play Comics.

In which Max Carleton and Miles take a trip back to the Silver Age, the origins of Marvel Girl’s telepathy are questionable, the nature of Polaris’s parentage is also questionable, and the quality of Sauron’s origin story shall never be questioned. X-PLAINED: The Locust (Dr. August Hopper) Uncanny X-Men #46,

In which Storm & Joseph X-Plain the X-Men, Alex Summers is not brainwashed this time, he promises, Scott Lobdell writes better moments than stories, Ed McGuinness draws very large chins, and it’s Denver the Last Dinosaur, not Denver the Lost Dinosaur X-PLAINED: Uncanny X-Men #339 Spider-Man disambiguation A. Kubert disambiguation

In which we return to Rutland, Vermont; Emma Frost faces her salad demons; Banshee is not even supposed to be here today; no one should ever have to drive in New York City; Fenris is both evil and obnoxious; and we’re still not over that one Senator Kelly action figure.

Sometimes when the world’s a trash fire, it’s hard to figure out where to start. We talk activism, figuring out how you can help, and what we’re doing to fight back against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation in Florida. Click through here to find out more about our campaign to raise funds for

In which Jay and guest X-Pert Connor Goldsmith explore approaches to podcasting about X-Men; difficult characters; costume preferences; our mutual mistrust of horses; owning our perspectives; and good on-ramps.

In which the Beast miniseries is actually a cleverly disguised Karma miniseries; Gateway’s moral alignment remains a mystery; Cannonball rocks some sideburns; there are many reasons to dislike Viper; and every #1 is somebody’s first. X-PLAINED: An off-panel death X-Force #62 Beast #1-3 Karma’s family and backstory (again) Twin absorption

In which you can now listen to a unique episode of Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men every day for a year; Shi’ar tech support leaves something to be desired; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau does not appear in a story; it’s Deathbird, not Dueprocessbird; Zenn-La gets destroyed a lot; and we shall never speak of this incident again.

In which we lie extensively about how comics schedules work; the Mystery School is clearly a backdoor pitch; the Wisdom family has a lot going on; red dyes fade fast; and we (roughly) calculate the odds of Cyclops having a good day.

In which standing in fields looking confused is a way of life; Psylocke gets a new superpower; when you gotta confess you gotta confess; Iceman’s dad stands up for justice; we mourn a Sentinel; and it’s probably a good thing that most companies don’t do mind melds as a team-building exercise.

In which Chris Bachalo draws excellent critters; Bastion is a terrible boss; everyone fucks in the Danger Room; Jubilee fails a midterm; and humans were the real monsters all along. X-PLAINED: The worst mutant power Generation X #20-21 X-Factor #127 Bachalo critters Bastion (more) (again) Daria (but not the one

In which the 1990s were full of miniseries; Mystique and Sabretooth take a sabbatical from X-Factor; Mystique’s powers are wildly inconsistent; we meet a second Cypher; most secret agents are Mystique; and you should never tell Sabretooth about your girlfriend.

In which history gets rewritten (again); Shatterstar definitely knows how to dance; and everyone gets extremely grumpy about Loeb’s final X-Force arc.

In which Excalibur has a lot going on; Margali Szardos is never up to any good; Nightcrawler grows into leadership; we delve into the politics of superheroism; Pete Wisdom earns his keep; Miles catches a Prisoner reference; and we reach the end of Warren Ellis’ Excalibur.

Inferno #4 is out; and, as promised, we've got a bonus interview with Jonathan Hickman--unedited this time, so please forgive the audio--going into the gory details of the miniseries and its finale!

In which Hub & Lisa X-Plain Howard the Duck; Jay & Miles X-Plain Daydreamers; and Jonathan Hickman X-Plains his tenure on the X-line!

In which Professor X has no time for your sympathy; there are too many people in the bathroom; everything’s more fun with J. Jonah Jameson; psychologists dress better in the 616; the Rainbow Bears have your back; and Onslaught finally, actually, for-real ends. X-PLAINED: How Logan got his adamanitum back

Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which it’s hard to be Joseph; we do our best to explain the inexplicable; Miles is full of feelings; Hulk smashes; and Onslaught finally (mostly) ends. X-PLAINED: Heroes Reborn Return Wild times with the Dreaming Celestial Onslaught

In which we take a break from X-Men to talk Onslaught tie-ins; Miles learns about coffee shop AUs; Sentinels are very large; there are no bystanders in a crossover event; we are really not Punisher people; and all the bad guys have plans. X-PLAINED: The Clone Saga (briefly) How not

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about Hawk Talk.

In which Onslaught is a party that goes on way too long; we are grateful that the Hand is mostly someone else’s problem; there’s always time to get hosed down by firemen; and Emma Frost should never, under any circumstances, cook. X-PLAINED: The Golden Archer Wolverine #104-105 Generation X #18-19

In which Dark Beast is an unlikely father figure; Wild Child remains low-budget Wolverine; X-Factor foreshadows the XSE; no one else thwarts Richardses on Doom’s watch; the cow goes “hate”; and Juggernaut fails to grow as a person.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Miles talked about bugs (and Tea Fougner taught us about bees)! As mentioned in the episode: bee cute furry

In which Onslaught: Phase 2 does not live up to the promise of Phase 1; Hulk is not the most trustworthy individual; Miles is his own best audience; Sentinels know their continuity; and true heroism is scored by James Horner.

In which we enter Phase 2 of Onslaught; Cable is a man of many purposes; Onslaught gets a makeover; Intentions only matter if you’re Longshot; and Sue Richards will pull over this crossover event right now if you don’t behave.

In which we celebrate a milestone with a special collectible episode; there may already be a Charles Xavier in your basement; Onslaught lacks subtlety; Bill Watterson may or may not have changed his licensing policy on Earth-616; guns should not have hair; and Jay once again exercises his questionable lyrical skills.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, Jay and Tina Carleton of Welcome to Television talked about sitcoms!

In which Onslaught nomenclature has some consistency issues; electricity is the new magnetism; Nate Grey mopes; Sinister doesn’t care about your guns; the Xavier mansion blows up (again); and we track down an elusive Sentinel.https://www.xplainthexmen.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/X349.mp3

In which all the heroes fight each other, a lot. X-PLAINED: Teenage Iron Man Onslaught thus far What Onslaught wants Uncanny X-Men #335 X-Men Unlimited #11 Avengers #401 The rebirth of Apocalypse The Apocalocophagous The Age of Wonders X-Man vs. Professor X Nate Grey-sitting Humanity’s Last Stand Simon Trask Bastion

In which we stop procrastinating and dive headfirst into Onslaught; Professor Xavier is a jerk; Dark Beast wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Onslaught declaims like it’s the Silver Age; Bishop gets some long-awaited closure; and we pitch alternate candidates for the X-traitor.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about school.

In which we continue to avoid Onslaught with a jaunt over to the Wolverine solo series; Logan is terrible at both being a loner and secret identities; fake vampires are fundamentally hilarious; and Burt Corrigan is the hero we need. X-PLAINED Hyperstorm (kinda) Wolverine #11-16 A very full week What

In which author and friend of the podcast Douglas Wolk joins us to discuss his upcoming book All of the Marvels; his epic quest to read all Marvel Comics, ever; and what he learned along the way.

In which the X-Men cross over with two generations of Star Trek; your grandma invented slash fiction; Gladiator punches a starship; we designate a universe; Leonard McCoy gets bowdlerized; “Gary” is a silly name for a god; Elizabeth Dehner deserves better; a lot of things happen in space; Worf and Wolverine enjoy a brief but intense romance; the X-Men should have more to say about the ethics of “curing” mutation; and we successfully delay Onslaught by another week.

This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about large things.

In which X-Force carries on the New Mutants’ tradition of property damage; a lot of people have infiltrated Helicarriers; G.W. Bridge makes it weird; Gamesmaster returns to no particular end; and we go back in time to cover the origins of Chris Bradley.

In which Miles does his best, birds are weird, some of the most dangerous villains are pink, and we are in the Onslaught Zone. X-PLAINED: Malibu Comics and Marvel Comics, sitting in a (multiversal) tree, KILLING Archangel: Phantom Wings Unorthodox artistic decisions Archangel (Warren Kenneth Worthington III) Angst, renewed Bird