podcasts – Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour. X-PLAINED: Multiversal canon X-Force #99-100 The Demon

In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable. X-PLAINED: A codename that deviates from common patterns The story so far Uncanny X-Men #376 Cable #75 X-Men #96 Fiz the

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

X-PLAINED: Apocalypse’s influence The Big House (about which we are confused) Generation X #58 Cartier and/or Louis St. Croix Our college’s Dean, naked jogger Things that are sharp in the woods HUMP Penance (Hollow) Emplate, spoiled teenager Generation X Annual 1999 Epistolary fonts Jubilee’s pre-X past Round Wolverine Hunter Brawn

In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

In which Lenore Zann joins us to talk Rogue, Canadian politics, and her upcoming memoir!

In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.

In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics.

In which Synch is better with your powers than you are; Generation X gets some actual training; Artie and Leech are fully feral; everyone gets the hots for Paladin; Zeus has probably fucked a motorcycle at some point; many countries have valleys; and Adrienne Frost is terrible.

In which Devin Toohey joins Miles to discuss X-Men’s DC Comics cousin Doom Patrol, and their bastard Amalgam child, X-Patrol! X-PLAINED: X-Men vs. Doom Patrol Meet Your Doom Doom Patrol Amalgam X-Patrol Elasti-Girl (Amalgam) Shatterstarfire Beastling Ferro Man Dial H.U.S.K. X-Patrol #1 Exciting X-Patrol #1 Niles Cable Dr. Doomsday Superhero

In which Tommy Lee Edwards draws a damned fine everything; death gods get taken a lot less seriously when their avatars are seagulls; warm and cool colors get in a fight; Domino has no time for this bullshit; Cable and Domino wait ’til the kids are asleep; Sunspot’s alibi is

X-PLAINED: Dazzler’s murder trial X-Men Unlimited #24 The past and future of X-Men Unlimited Doctor Cecilia Reyes Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream Wolverine and friends Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill Banter The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada) Sunfire and the Big Hero Six Projectile-based

In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast! X-PLAINED: What Danger’s been up to lately Uncanny X-Men #371 X-Men #91 X-Men

In which Roadhouse is basically a Wolverine story; Spider-Man does crimes; space names are derivative; there are lots of good reasons to yell at Professor Xavier; the X-Men do Doctor Who; Galactus is not interested in your puny human feelings; Marrow gets a new look; the Skrulls need a crash

SPOILER WARNING: ALL OF THEM, NONSTOP In which Barry Windsor-Smith is too sexy for television; we know what happens when unstable molecules get struck by lightning; X-Men gets political and does it spectacularly; this Captain America would not sew the cape; Magneto continues to throw things into space; and they

In which we put the comics on hold to take a look at X-Men ’97; it is still always Inferno in here; Wolverine is best used sparingly; a Marvel show finally embraces politics; Wolverine is best in small doses; Madeylne Pryor still always deserves better; Jubilee grows up; and we are all in on this series.

In which Magneto is not full of mirth; nobody real or fictional likes Fabian Cortez; when you’re a speedster, every problem is a metaphorical nail; The Zealot makes some valid points; and when Quicksilver declares himself your conscience, it’s time to examine your life.

In which we remain fascinated by Magneto’s robot butler; murder is Logan’s love language; the Juggernaut punches a hole in reality; Professor Xavier makes it weird; and Storm lectures several gods.

In which we celebrate our tenth anniversary by X-Plaining what may be the most reviled X-arc; you should not try this at home; Mystique is so much better than this story; Azazel is a really boring devil; Nightcrawler should probably be missing a hand; the Xavier School definitely does not have an HR department; and we would prefer that you not pee on Iceman.

In which artist Russell Dauterman joins us to discuss super-powered costume design! X-PLAINED: Why it’s important to get a professional to design your superhero costume Why Miles doesn’t trust the government Russell’s history at Marvel Designing for the Hellfire Gala Mutant fashion The word “fashionize” Iconic looks Modernizing superhero costumes

In which timeline math is almost never worth it; Tarot comes back from the dead (kind of) (maybe); Magma makes a heel turn; “King Bedlam” would be a great name for a ska band; not every nude man can turn into a bear; and you don’t have to talk to

In which everything is an event these days; Skin may or may not have a skeleton; everyone has a crush on Synch; we are intrigued by Integer; and it’s hard to be Emma Frost. X-PLAINED: War of the Mutants Generation X #50 X-Man #50 Nate Grey (again) Adrienne Frost Science

In which the Magneto War comes to a close. X-PLAINED: X-Men #86-87 Uncanny X-Men #367 Quite a few other things, which we’ll add to this post tomorrow! NEXT EPISODE: Nate Grey meets Generation X! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles

In which not every story needs to be an event; Alan Davis returns to the X-line; X-mansion security is not what it once was; Rogue needs some new fantasies; and Magneto wants a country.

In which it’s difficult to flee with soup; Miles may or may not be haunting the X-Men; Colossus collaborates involuntarily; Marrow is full of surprises; Magneto is a dick; Jay continues to carry a torch for Secret Wars: Siege; and you should totally come to our birthday party. X-PLAINED: Several

In which we walk down X-Plain Memory Lane; everyone needs Bitch Planet; HoX/PoX wouldn’t stay on shelves; we learn how to make sure a comic doesn’t get canceled; Marvel should have kept publishing those Krakoa-era anthology TPBs; X-Men is indeed a soap opera; and you can jump in here ’cause

In which Marrow remains a connoisseur of dead rats; Jay has opinions about the NYC Subway system; U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M. are snazzy dressers; Doctor Doom gets excited about Onslaught; Magneto can have a rocket pack if he wants; villainous game recognizes villainous game; weird retcons are the best retcons; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and

In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies. X-PLAINED: The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2 Babies and/or ghosts Chekhov’s repowering X-Men #83-84 Uncanny X-Men #364 Cerebro /

In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy. X-PLAINED: Mary Purcell (sort of) The re-defaulting of the X-Men Uncanny X-Men #362-323

In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.

In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience. X-PLAINED: Master Pandemonium X-Force #85 X-Force/Champions Annual 1998 What

In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.

  In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever. X-PLAINED: Our tenth birthday party! 2023 Longshot vol. 2 #1 Longshot as

In which the X-Men turn 35; we pause to celebrate the death of Henry Kissinger; Jay is a space nerd; Marrow hang-dries her delicates; space shuttles are not rockets; the band gets back together; and the Danger Room isn’t the first piece of X-tech to get sentience and a robot

In which we take a retrospective look at X-Factor and Excalibur: where the series began, where they went, and what’s in store after the ends of their first volumes. X-PLAINED: What Rictor’s been up to X-Factor Excalibur NEXT EPISODE: A Corbeau cameo! The visual companion to this episode is scattered

In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.

In which Synch is a more versatile character than he originally got credit for; “eep” and “eek” are likewise underused; space makes everything better; Nate Grey is the proto-himbo; and if you can decipher the secret code in this episode, you, too, can win a Silver Surfer jet ski! X-PLAINED:

In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.

In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others. X-PLAINED: Strong Guy’s hellacious history The nature and

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s. X-PLAINED: Captain Britain varieties The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged Excalibur #124-125

In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).

In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.