436: 100 Days Sober with Erin Dawson

100 Days Sober with Erin Dawson

Welcome Back to Overtired

Brett: [00:00:00] Hey everybody. It’s been a minute. How, how, how are you? How, how is everybody out there listening to Overtired for the first time in,

I don’t know, two months,

months?

Christina: like that. Months

is

all

Brett: was a, it was a, it was a nice break I am here. I am Brett Terpstra. Christina Warren is here. Hi Christina.

Christina: Hey there.

Brett: And we’ve got special guest, Aaron Daw. Aaron Dawson. I am, I almost said Dawson’s Creek for some reason. Aaron, how are you?

Erin: I am well, Brett and Christina, how are you?

Christina: Yeah, I’m okay. I’m okay. It’s been a, it’s been a few months since we’ve been here. Um, I think everybody’s had a, a interesting summer and, um, so yeah. Uh, glad, glad to be back talking with you guys and see, see what you’ve all been up to.

Brett: Yeah.

Erin: I’ve used the Dawson’s Creek thing. Uh, if, if there’s a a a a din, the denin of a bar is too [00:01:00] loud and I’m, I’m closing out and I’ve, and I’ve done this motion with my hand by my neck, like I am going to it. That’s the motion to either you want to kill someone or you’re closing out. Um, and it’s Dawson and they’re like, huh.

And it’s Dawson, like the creek, and it works like a charm

Christina: Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, that, that, that’s gonna be one of those that they’re like, okay, got it, got it.

Mental Health Check-In

Brett: So Christina, how’s your mental health?

Christina: It’s okay. It’s been better, but it’s been worse. Um, I’m, uh, going through some stuff right now that I’m not going to talk about on this podcast . So, um, that I, that I hope will, will, will work itself out. But, um, um, yeah, it, I, I’m Okay. How about you?

Brett: I don’t, I, I went to the hospital again for just a day and a half this time. Um, the end result of which being I had to completely cut out alcohol. Um, so most of my mental health [00:02:00] in this moment I’ve, is around like, just ending something that I was pretty reliant on, um, for a lot of things and finding new, uh, activities, new ways to deal with energy and, um, I’ve been really happy coding.

I, I get up around 3:00 AM every morning. I write code, I, I usually stop coding by about 11:00 AM and then just chill and watch movies and ride my bike, exercise bike and whatnot for the rest of the day. Um, and that makes me really happy and I don’t miss having a day job at all. Um, but, um, there will come an end to my unemployment benefits and I will need to have this app I’ve been coding on, published and making money by then.

Um, and that’s [00:03:00] causing a little bit of anxiety some mornings more than others. Um, I, it’s so close, but I’m just like with NV Ultra, I’m stuck on the getting paid part, uh, working in all the payment processors and everything and trying to, and then I, I posted. A thing that mentioned offhandedly, that it was going to be a subscription payment plan.

And predictably, I got a lot of shit on social media and people were just very upset. And I know that’s, if I’m gonna do this, I’m just gonna have to deal with that. Um, but my personality does not like people being mad at me. Um, and alternates between feeling very, um, scared and feeling very angry. And, and I have to pull myself away from social media because neither one of those modes is gonna make for a good [00:04:00] reply from, from an app account.

So anyway.

Christina: Well, yeah.

The Reality of Subscription Software

Christina: I mean, the thing is, is like, look, you gave people a heads up. So that they can be prepared, they can have the attitude that they have, but you have to, at a certain point, not take that feedback as hard as it is, like to just like to your, like do what you’ve done, which is to log off, not, not be part of that.

Because yeah, I mean the reality is like you need this to be something that can generate income and one-off purchases can’t do that. And, and don’t do that. And, and, and we are now, I don’t know, 12, 13 years, uh, past when Adobe started, you know, doing subscriptions for Creative Cloud. Like, I’m sorry, I’m just gonna fucking say it.

People need to grow the fuck up and realize this is how software is sold now. Like, you know, and, and, and if, if you, if you don’t like it, then, then don’t buy the software. But good luck finding anything because there are, the only companies that can afford to sell one-off licenses are, are companies like Apple, who even they have moved, you know, the, the final cut for freaking iPad as a subscription.

[00:05:00] So, you know, they, it, it’s still a one-off on Mac, but I’m like, okay, also how much time and, and investment has, um, apple put in Final Cut versus Adobe or versus um, uh, you know, um, um, uh, da Vinci resolve almost none. So like. You, you, you can choose, you can either have software that continues to be maintained and updated, or you can have one off software that isn’t.

And, and that’s just the reality that we’re in. It’s nobody’s Well, it is, it’s the industry’s fault. It’s like companies, frankly, like Apple’s fault, who, you know, created these sorts of expectations to have updates free forever and didn’t allow ways to do app purchases. And then, you know, um, people like Adobe, who, because fighting piracy, they were like, we can just make it a subscription as a service.

I get it. It’s, it’s, it’s frustrating. People don’t always wanna pay an annual or monthly subscription to something, but Okay. That, but, but you

know, that’s what you

Brett: if you’re paying if you’re paying for constant updates and you’re getting constant updates, then there’s really no difference between.[00:06:00]

Christina: you’re

Brett: a monthly subscription or upgrading your software every year because the developer was forced to put out a, a major version release.

Christina: right. Right.

Brett: I think that the, the happy medium is what a few companies like Nova are doing or what, what panics doing with Nova, where you get the app one time and then you pay for updates, um, and you pay, you pay a subscription.

But if you stop paying the subscription,

Christina: It’s locked. I was

Brett: I would love, I would love to do that, but I can’t do it on the app store. It would mean I could only sell direct.

Christina: Yeah. Which, which, I mean, at this point, is there any value

Brett: over, over, half my income comes from the app store right now.

Christina: Okay. That, well, that’s

unfortunate. Yeah,

Brett: it’s, just a little more than I get from set. Um, so I really, I think the app store is good for me. Uh, I am willing to leave it behind [00:07:00] if I could make a sustainable living just selling updates direct. And if everyone who was finding it on the app store would still find it elsewhere.

But anyway, I don’t want to completely derail the mental health corner. So I will pass the mic to Aaron. How are you

Aaron’s Career Pivot

Erin: I think I’m well. Uh, a couple thingies about me. I was recently rift.

Christina: I’m so sorry.

Erin: Thank you. Um,

Brett: Reduc reduction in force for anyone who’s not down with the, uh, the acronyms.

Erin: Yeah. I mentioned that to someone who I, who kind of worked in tech and they’re like, riff. And I was like, yeah, I thought this was, sorry. Um, so for folks out there, Brett and I used to work at the same unnamed Mega Corp. Acme Corp. Um, and it was a good run for me. I, I can’t complain. I can always complain.

Um, but I will not, it was a great run. Um, [00:08:00] and I should be pretty pessimistic about the job market. I mean, see above Brett. Uh, but I am weirdly serene and optimistic, and I have no reason to be. I’m kind of seeing this as a moment to maybe pivot. So instead of like traditional tech roles, like I’ve, like I’ve had in the past, is this an opportunity for me to combine my love of music tech and traditional tech?

Uh, I think it is. That’s a, like I studied music, I’m a musician. I think, you know, I’d be kind of a shoe in for a place like a splice or something. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that service. Um, yeah, splice Brett is a service that provides like library music and sound effects for film or whatever.

Um, like a sort of creative commons that’s organized and

premium, which

Brett: an audio stock site.

Erin: a library. Yes, that’s exactly [00:09:00] right. So something like that. I don’t know. Um, God knows that the Apple music app could use some love. Um, the, I’m not a Spotify user, so I have a lot writing on

the

Brett: canceled Spotify last week, so

Erin: Based good. I, I use Logic Pro every day.

You know, I have, I have some expertise there. So anyways, all that to say, I think like, could this be a pivot and could it be a more extreme pivot towards not working in tech at all? Maybe I teach music or I teach composition and I sell feet picks. I don’t know. But looking at untraditional forms of income that I haven’t explored in the past, I’m like mostly kidding about that last one.

Um, my feet are not, no, no, no. That was a bad example. I think I have two bodily features that I’m proud of. One are my, uh, one feature is my calves. [00:10:00] And the other is my, uh, clavicle, my collarbone, which I think looks pretty good when the temperature is about 64. And I can find a fleece with a high collar, uh, accentuating, elongating the neck.

Uh,

Brett: there, is there a fetish for clavicles?

Erin: clavicle,

Brett: there clavicle porn out there?

Erin: clavicle, tentacle porn. Yeah, it’s the most, only two people are into it. Yeah. I don’t know.

Brett: But they’ll pay a pretty penny.

Erin: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Brett: All right.

Erin: So all that to say like, I think I’m pretty good.

The Impact of Alcohol on Mental Health

Erin: And also Brett, I think I’m good because I too, as you mentioned, have ceased alcohol. I’m doing a hundred days and I think I’m 13 days percent into that.

Into that. So it’ll be December 13th for me, which means if I choose to not continue, I’ll have the holidays, which is like the funnest [00:11:00] time to maybe

Brett: Yeah. See that’s, that’s a little bit different boat because I have to give it up for life and like if it were a hundred days, I could see it as a challenge. Just something to like get excited about and do. But like the thought of never, ever having a glass of wine with dinner or a beer at the bar again is that’s, that’s taking some adjusting to I’ll get there.

It’s not an impossible task. There are millions of people who do that or who more to the point don’t do that. Um, so

Erin: It is a little different. I think I, my goal is to get to a place with alcohol. Um. The same place I’m at with heroin, which is, I’ve never done it. Um, I’m not, or, or, or, or like Coke or something. Like, I’ve never done it. I have no desire to do it. But the principle of being able to do it is something that I enjoy.

I just have no opinion on whether I would like to, I would like to get to that same place with alcohol, which is [00:12:00] like, I can if I want, but I don’t want, and that’s okay. You know?

Brett: Um,

Erin: so I bring that up because alcohol’s a depressant

and I think that’s what I can contribute to doing well, despite being rift like I was having a cocktail. I was drinking two, like a cocktail every two or three days, which is like, who cares? That’s like basically average for an American who drinks. Uh, but for me, what I’ve learned, and you probably know this Brett, I just learned this recently, is that alcohol takes longer than three days to metabolize out of your body.

And so if you’re having a cocktail every two or three days, that means your body’s always on the carousel of metabolizing it, processing it, and it’s affecting you even two or three days after you’ve had those cocktails. So what’s that mean? That means that you are more prone to depression, your sleep suffers your.

Your attitude. You like your just [00:13:00] overall mental health suffers your skins. You know it’s, I don’t have to, it’s poison you’re poisoning yourself. It sucks that it’s a beautiful poison and a cultured poison. And a delicious poison, but it is. And so I thought I was fine, like two or three. But no, it’s always in you, even if it’s that infrequent.

So,

Brett: Yeah.

Erin: yeah.

Christina: really interesting to note, Brett, for you, like, did they figure out, I guess, um, uh, definitively that that’s why, um, you were, you’ve been having, I guess like the, the, the stomach problems and the other stuff you’ve had is, is that it’s, it’s alcohol.

Brett: first time I was hospitalized, I had been on Wegovy for six months and they blamed that, um, which I took as a license that I could still continue drinking in moderation. Um, and I did like, I wasn’t like full like a bottle of liquor every day or anything. It was pretty moderate. Um, but the only reason they could come up with the last time I was in the hospital was it had to be alcohol.[00:14:00]

Um, and I have had, I have had entire runs of my life where I was drinking, you know, half a bottle of whiskey a day, easy. Um, or, or more. So it’s no surprise that I would have some organ damage, but like my liver tests, my kidney tests even like my pancreatic, whatever the enzyme level is that they measure for that is normally totally fine.

Like I’ve always been given a clean bill of health. Um, but when my pancreas flares up, whatever that enzyme is, it goes from the safe zone of like one to 200 up to over a thousand. And like I have a very strong reaction when it does happen. So yeah, it, it’s pretty much gotta be alcohol, I guess. It, so, so if I quit drinking and it happens again, then perfect.

We can look for another cause and I can go back to having a [00:15:00] glass of wine every couple days.

Erin: But you’re doing the FODMAP version of drinking right

Brett: Right? Yeah. Yes, exactly.

Erin: Brett, what do you,

Brett: not familiar with fodmap, it’s an elimination diet designed to remove all sugars from your system,

Erin: and then once you figure out that, uh, F isn’t messing with your system, you can add O and you can have Ali oligosaccharides and

Brett: I did fodmap, I did it. That’s how I found out. I’m sensitive to gluten and dairy.

Christina: I I had, yeah, I did a variation of, of that I guess, but it was, ’cause I had a blood test first, and then we did like an elimination diet thing and then was slowly able to add more things in. This was when I was told that I had a sensitivity to gluten and wheat and egg whites and egg yolks and, um, dairy yeast and brewer’s yeast and, uh, white potatoes.

Um, so basically no starches for me. Uh, we had to add white potatoes back because I lost too much weight. Uh, but it, [00:16:00] it, and like the doctors were like actually actively concerned. They were like, oh, this is. real problem. Uh, this was when I was 16, so this was, this was a while ago, but, um, I, I’ve done those sorts of elimination diet things before and yeah, the, that, those, those are not fun, uh, to go through that process.

Erin: Brett, what do you enjoy about drinking?

Brett: Um, it, it slows my brain down. Like I have a very active brain. You could call them voices, but they don’t tell me to hurt anybody. Um, but just like a constant inner monologue that, um, gets overwhelming at times. And a glass of wine just makes it shut up. And like, and I, I, like, I don’t get drunk. I never drink until I’m drunk or rarely, like, almost never.

I drink just a

Erin: But Buzz

Brett: Yeah, couple drinks, get a buzz, slow those thoughts down, and then move on until it’s time to go to bed. Um. [00:17:00] It’s, uh, yeah, it just, it quiets the voices. How about you? Why do you drink?

Erin: Oh man. Um, I think what drugs do to me, and I do not think all drugs are bad, I think what drugs help me to do are the drugs that I enjoy, the substances I should say, that I enjoy, allow me to, I. To, to neuter or castrate or make inactive the, as you say, voice that tells me that I am bad and that I should feel guilty for not having my, um, this particular shelf on my fridge, uh, perfectly laid out with the de containers that I have in there, or that I haven’t gone for a run today, or that I broke up with the, the love of my life.

And I should always think about that all the time, every day, and I should punish myself like, and it makes my legs warm while doing it, [00:18:00] and it’s this nice warmth, you know? And so those thoughts go away and my legs get warm and I. I send the text that I have been too scared to send or I get in touch with the person I lost touch with four years ago and like these little things start happening and building up and you can have an event by yourself at a bar.

And that’s a beautiful thing to me. I also really love bar culture and drinking culture like it is. My safe space is a really, really dark bar. No ever head lighting brassy ends of the booths that are open and shellacked and millions of people have sat there and billions of first kisses have started there and it smells like incense a little bit.

And the of the bartend, like it’s such a romantic, not romantic as in interpersonal dating love like, but it’s this like sublime, [00:19:00] romantic environment that’s just like everyone’s dreaming in a bar like that. You know, everyone’s in this like. Istic dream realm and I love that. And like, can I access that by getting a mocktail maybe.

I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out. But

Brett: you should open a bar called the Imaginarium.

Erin: all tiki

Brett: could have, you could, you could have like a whole board of na beverages, which is so, so I intend the, my favorite bar, the no name bar, um, does always have at least two mocktails on the menu, and they’re cheaper than alcohol drinks. And I could go and be a part of the shows and the environment and all the friends I have there.

And just drink na beverages. Like I have no compunction about that. It [00:20:00] doesn’t bother me at all to be like the one guy drinking club soda at the bar. I don’t care. It’s just that the bar isn’t as much fun for me

Christina: Right.

Brett: if I’m totally sober,

Erin: And are you by yourself in that hypothetical?

Brett: uh, I usually, so the bar I go to, I’m never by myself because I know it’s a small town and it’s like all of my people, my like granola liberal people, they all go to this bar.

So if I go there, I’m guaranteed to run into somebody I know or meet somebody that I’ll get along with. Um, which has

Erin: There’s no accounting for that. There’s no substitution for

Brett: Well, there’s church,

Christina: Mm.

Erin: there is not church, not for me, um,

Brett: but I mean, that

Erin: blah, blah, blah.

Third

Brett: around here.

Christina: I was gonna say, unfortunately, that is actually like a, a, a valid, like, I mean, it’s not like I, I wouldn’t do that either, but like, I think this is for a lot of people, especially like when we look at [00:21:00] now, ’cause there’ve been like a lot of people like trying to figure out like why is like, like tra culture back and why are some of these like people like returning to religion and whatnot?

And honestly it is because of community. Because for, for as much as we can, um, uh, you know, and, and should like critique, like organized religion, one of the things that organized religion does really well is community. And, um, and for a lot of people, like even, even if you live in a place like that, has like a bar scene, each bar can have different vibes and it can have different stuff.

And it can be hard for people, especially if you’re not in college and you’re not, like in an environment where you’re constantly, or you know, you’re, you’re not like, honestly in your twenties like it can be even if you’re in your twenties, but especially if you’re not, it can be hard to meet people, um, for, for some people.

And that’s where like, yeah, I, I think a lot of people turn to turn to organized religion because church is one of those things.

Brett: So in my small town we have, uh, like a hippie bar, like, I guess just like the leftist bar, we have the right wing bar, we [00:22:00] have the um, coke bar. Um, and the rest of the bars are mostly college kids when college is in session. Um, and you can kind of, you can go on a bar crawl if you want to, but you’ll only have fun at the one bar that really agrees with you.

Um, there’s a bar on like, every, every block of our downtown has a bar and every block of the residential area has a church. So we have a bunch of churches and bars, and there’s not a lot of overlap, I guess, between the two. But you’re, you’re right. And, and, and there are enough variety of churches here that it’s similar.

There’s no like Koch church or anything, but there are, there’s like the Lutheran church with a female pastor that’s open to homosexuals, and then there’s. The, the church I grew up in, which is just like a hate machine. All, all, all Trump all the time, like [00:23:00] gays are lower than dogs. That kind of rhetoric and like, you can kind of, I don’t think anyone does a church crawl, but you can, you can find a church that agrees with you, I think.

Christina: Yeah, I mean, I think what people typically do, like, from what I’ve heard from like, you know, friends of mine or, or family members who are religious, like when they are either leaving a church or staying or, or move to a new area or trying to find one, is that like you go and like, maybe it’s not like a bar wall where you’re going from one to the next, like the same day or the same

Brett: Sure, sure.

Christina: It’s

Brett: No, you gotta sit through a whole service.

Christina: Exactly. You, you, you. And, but, but that’s what you’ll do. Right? Like, I remember when I was growing up, like we, we left one church and we like found another, and that was sort of the process where we, like, we would go to one for a couple of months or we would try it out and then we would go to another one and just try to, you know, and

Brett: Well, and

it, you’re right, it does take a couple months because it’s not just the pastor’s sermon. You have to worry about. You have to worry about the community that we’re talking about, and you have to, you have to make friends. You have to get to know the people. You have to find out like what their [00:24:00] shared values are before you can make a judgment.

So it’s not just like seven days, seven churches kind of

Christina: No, exactly. I was going to same. And that would typically be, ’cause I was trying to think back, I was like, why would we ever like, leave stuff? And I’d be like, oh, well my dad or my mom or somebody would be unhappy with, sometimes it would be the pastor, but more, more often it was like community, you know, bullshit and, and, and politics happening within the, the church itself.

And yeah, you don’t really get the sense of like what that is until, um, you’ve been there a little while. There was this, um, there was this, actually, it was funny when you were talking about like the Lutheran church with like the, um, you know, accepting of the gazes and whatnot. It was making me think of King of the Hill because like they had this character who was like this, this female pastor who was um, who came to, to Arlin and she’d come from Minnesota actually.

So that was partially why I first thought of that. Episode and she did, she actually, you know, if she, if there was any like, like religious character in, I mean, that show was always pretty pro L-G-B-T-Q, um, ia. But like, um, if they’d [00:25:00] ever like, talked about that specific issue, like she totally would’ve been like, I think like on the side of like, yes, gays can come to church, but it, but it made me think there’s this funny episode where like, Hank leaves his local church to go to the, um, the mega church

Brett: Oh, right, I remember

Christina: Yeah, yeah. ’cause ’cause he’s mad that like they, they gave up his seat or whatever and, um, and so, so he goes to the mega church and tries out, and at first it does, it seems great. Like they have a Starbucks and they have all this stuff and they have all these activities and then he gets there and he is just like, it, you know, it dawns on them over like a, a period of weeks that like a, the church never wants him to do anything but church.

And he’s like, I, I have a life and I can’t hang out with my friends in the alley. And, and then, you know, um, uh, Peggy does is not well, she thinks that she’s appreciated and she’s not. And then. Everybody’s kind of miserable, so they wind up going back to the old church. But that’s a funny episode, which kind of encapsulates, I think, but it’s true of bars and stuff too, right?

Like you have to find your community, you have to find your people, and, um, you know, not every place has that, but that can be, certainly, I [00:26:00] think that’s for a lot of people, the appeal of drinking. I don’t, I don’t drink very often, so this is all interesting to me. I do understand what you’re saying. I think about it like maybe clamping down the anxiety, you know, helping you get over the inhibition so that you can talk to people that you wouldn’t otherwise turning off the noise in your head that, you know, never stop ceasing.

But, um, um, just for, for various reasons. I, I don’t drink that often, so I, I don’t, I’ve never like sought out those things, but I definitely, other than maybe the next day after I’ve, you know, gotten drunk and, and maybe texted people that I shouldn’t have and been like, come on, what were you doing? What, what, what?

Why did you think that was a good idea?

Erin: Hangovers alone are a great reason to stop

Brett: I never, I, I haven’t

Erin: really?

Brett: since I was in my late teens.

Erin: Oh, bless your heart. Word.

Brett: I don’t get hangovers. Like I said, I don’t generally drink to excess. And when I, if I drink to like blackout, which I did a couple times in my twenties, um, I, I might have a hangover for an [00:27:00] hour or two, but it goes away. Um, so speaking of all these benefits of drinking.

Exploring Alternative Substances

Brett: In the absence of alcohol, what are you doing to quiet the thoughts and deal with your inhibitions?

Erin: Yeah, for me, I have resorted to, not resorted to embraced another substance that I’ve dabbled with for the last few years, but it’s become a, a more important part of my life, and I will not name that substance

Brett: You can. Is it for personal reasons or out of respect for the pod? You don’t have to. There’s no pressure to, but you’re welcome to if you want to.

Erin: It grows from the earth. It, it, you know what I mean? Um,

Christina: I enjoy that substance as well.

Brett: Well, I

Erin: well, I don’t know if we’re talking about the

Brett: yeah, so this is, this grows from the earth and you can’t smoke it.

Christina: Oh, okay.

Erin: Yeah.

Christina: Got it. Got it. Yeah.

Erin: it usually grows [00:28:00] by the trunks of trees

Christina: it. Got can get it in gummy form.

Okay. Yeah. I, I

Erin: or chocolate.

Christina: that.

I, but I’ve, I’ve heard good things. I’ve heard good things. but I’ve, I’ve not, uh, in imbibed in this, in this particular substance.

Erin: It’s the best. It’s the best. And it gets me, um, really close to how I want to feel if I’m having a couple cocktails, but without, for me, I get hangovers really easy, but without that, without the like, oh my God, why did I text my ex from three Xs ago? Um, and it increases my enjoyment of art.

Brett: Yeah.

Erin: And so what’s there to miss?

Like, I, I really, it’s really been doing it for me like last night. Yeah.

Brett: just out of curiosity, do you take what would be considered, uh, a micro dose or do you take a like therapeutic dose or do you take a full on like tribal ceremony dose?[00:29:00]

Erin: Never heroic tribal, my life rearranged by metso American Gods doses. Um, really a kind of a split between micro and just like,

Brett: so around two grams probably.

Erin: I, a thing about me is that I refuse to measure anything. Uh, I cook all the time. I will not measure. I,

Christina: but, but that means you don’t bake then.

Erin: I don’t,

Christina: Yeah, I was going to say ’cause

Brett: Yeah. Bake baking requires the measuring.

Christina: going to say you can get away with it. With cooking you cannot, with baking. Baking is like, you have to be extremely precise. But

Erin: I don’t have a sweet tooth. Uh, so, so, yeah. Yeah. I guess somewhere between a micro thing, you know, um,

Brett: You realize you can bake bread that’s not sweet. Right.

Erin: I do realize

Brett: Okay. Just checking.

Erin: Thank

Brett: Baking doesn’t have to be, doesn’t have to be cupcakes. Um, [00:30:00] yeah. Okay. So like, I, I was, I was using said substance quite a bit, uh, for, for a while and I hit a point where I don’t know what shifted, if there’s some sort of tolerance or what, but now it just makes me sleepy.

Like, no, no side effects. Just like I took a sedative and I go lay down and I have a deep sleep and that’s a waste of money to me.

Erin: Have you experimented with different, I guess they’re called strains. I don’t

Brett: yeah, I have,

Erin: Oh, they all kind of do that

Brett: yeah, yeah. Like, and I thought maybe I was getting like bum product from the guy I was getting it from. So I tried someone else and um, I went through multiple people who all grow their own and grow different strains and it’s just across the board it.

Makes me sleepy now. So what I found, I’m also allergic to [00:31:00] THC, which left me kind of up a, up a creek without a paddle as far as like quieting these voices. And then my partner’s cousin was visiting and she said, oh, I just take CBD Gubbies

Christina: Yes. and, and they make me spacey. They don’t get me high, but they make me spacey and they quiet the voices.

Brett: So I tried it and sure enough, like 50 milligrams of CBD, which is what I just drank for the pod, um, it, uh, it, it does, it does exactly that. It makes me feel spacey and relaxed and not anxious about stuff. And yeah, so I’ve been spending not. Not an equal amount of money, but most of the money I was putting into alcohol now just goes into buying CBD beverages.

And I assume that they’re not addictive, and I’ll eventually lower my [00:32:00] intake of those, but, eh, yeah.

Sponsor Break: Open Case

Brett: Okay, quick sponsor break. I am really excited about today’s sponsor Open Case. Open Case is a patented iPhone case with a literal open space in the back of the case designed to make using Mag safe accessories. Way better than with a normal case, and in many cases, even better than a bare iPhone. The open case is designed around Apple’s MagSafe wallet.

They offer their own wallet and other accessories as well. A lot of MagSafe accessories and chargers are designed around the dimensions of Apple’s wallet, and anything with that rectangular format will fit snugly in the opening, preventing it from moving around, keeping things thinner, than adding on an accessory to the existing thickness of the.

Phone case all while allowing bare naked access to the charging system. Apple recommends in its wireless charging support documentation [00:33:00] that used or should not place anything between your iPhone and the charger. With Open Case, you can optimize charging with nothing in the way and there’s no lock-in.

Open Case offers a suite of accessories that fit perfectly in the open space, but it also works with most. Third party MagSafe accessories that fit. There’s a great video I’ll link in the show notes that demos a wide variety of accessories that fit

with open case, you can even create a stand on the go. The open space creates a ledge that you can wedge, an accessory like a wallet into to create an impromptu stand.

It also works with most of the MagSafe stands that are out there and makes them even more stable. It also reveals the beauty of apple’s design when using a traditional case. Most people never see the color of their iPhone. With open case, you can regularly enjoy the beauty of Apple’s design and the functionality of a case open case, thinner, lighter, and sliding around and shoeing off [00:34:00] accessories optimizes MagSafe charging and more.

It’s the case for MagSafe and iPhone 17. Thanks to Open case for sponsoring today’s episode.

So do you want to talk about, this is a, a question for the panel.

The Tahoe OS Controversy

Brett: Do you want to talk about coffee or do you want to talk about Tahoe?

Christina: So I refuse to use Tahoe, but I’m

Brett: Good for you. but I’m, but I’m happy to talk about

Yeah. Okay, let’s, let’s do Tahoe. I will, I will kick it off by saying I am usually the, Hey, let’s give it a chance, guy, like you’re all overreacting, just because it’s new and different and you’ll get used to it and fuck it. Fuck. Oh my God, it’s so bad.

It’s so bad. It’s made my, it’s made my laptop basically unusable and ugly to boot.

Christina: yeah. I’m incredibly unhappy with it. I, I’ve had it in a VM and I did try like the most, like, I guess like the final beta. I haven’t tried the, the final [00:35:00] release, but I did try the final beta. And granted it was in a vm, but it was in a vm, you know, on a very powerful system. And, um, I just, I couldn’t go. Past that point.

And I went, okay, when I am forced to, to use this by like an employer or for applications or whatever, then I’ll do it. This is the first time in a Mac os like time period that I’ve ever not been running it. And that I have like, absolutely no desire to put it on my machine and like I’m happy that work.

Basically. Like they had put the, the up, the update out. Um, but it was by mistake. And I was like, I don’t think this has been certified. And people came in, they’re like, no, no, no, it hasn’t. We, we, we removed this. And I was like, good, the minute you forced me to, I will. Um, obviously, but until then, no. Um, no. I mean,

it, it, well,

Brett: even out, even outside of an emulator. It is significantly slower to do everything.

It’s, it’s not good for productivity.

Christina: Yeah, like here’s the thing, like I can get behind and I can [00:36:00] deal with like, some of the changes and I don’t love all of them, but some of it is change aversion. Some of it I think is general complaints about iOS 26. Um, I have fewer complaints about iPad os I think because they actually made it better actually, like in some regard.

Like they actually like

Brett: No, I agree. Right? Like it’s

I, I’m, I’m borderline on liquid glass in general, but the, the, the latest, like 26 4 iOS, Not bad.

Christina: no, exactly. And, and I’m, I’m, I, I, I can deal with that and like, I obviously, I just got a new phone yesterday and I can, um, you know, so I wouldn’t have any choice, but I needed to update just so I could transfer everything over anyway. And like that I can, I can deal with, I might have some battery issue, uh, you know, complaints that hopefully will go away with the new phone, but, we’ll, we’ll see.

But, but with bot Tahoe. A, I think it just looks terribly, like it looks awful. Like it looks terrible, right? Like, I think the, the new design is, is a complete shit show. And then b like there were some usability things that I saw that I’m like, what are you doing? Like, what have you done?

Remote SSH and File Vault Changes

Christina: The only feature that [00:37:00] I could see myself actually enjoying, and then they’ve kind of ruined this because you don’t wanna actually use the operating system, is that you can now SSH into machines like headlessly, like from boot and basically like won’t have to like, have physical access to the machine to be able to, to do that.

So you could like remotely like, um, you know, SSH into something and restart it and then log back in again. So because of how changes they’ve made to file vault. Um, so that is, is cool. But like, you know, I, I’m not, you know, remotely SSHing into machines that I need to reboot very frequently. Like if I had like

Brett: Oh, I, I am, yeah, I do that all the time and I’ve actually never had a problem with it on the current operating systems. Um,

Christina: Well, no, like

Brett: shut, shut down minus, shut down, minus R now, um, to reboot, but then you have to, yeah, you have to have a automatic login.

Christina: Right?

And, and, and that’s the thing that,

Brett: which you

can’t with File Vault. You’re

Christina: [00:38:00] Exactly right.

So, so that, that’s the whole thing, that if you wanna have file vault and vil and you wanna be able to, you know, SSH and, and, and

Brett: Yep. Okay. that’s really nice, right? So for headless situation, somebody who has a home server, businesses, whatever, that’s pretty cool.

Christina: I’m glad they did that for me, for my use cases. Like, I’m like, that’s maybe if I had a Mac Mini, you know, set up in some way, I would, you know, install that

Visual Changes and User Experience

Brett: Did you, did you, see the alert dialogues? They’re all left aligned. Like, why, why, what purpose did, why, why would you? Uh, it looks awful. It looks awful. Aaron, what are your thoughts?

Erin: I have not ins, I’ve, I’m still on Sequoia, which I love. Um, I, I put IO S 26 on my iPhone 15, um, a couple days ago, and I’m fine with it. And I also was, I also knew that I was going to be speaking with you both today and I’m like, do I have a take on this? [00:39:00] And I found myself resisting manufacturing a take.

Like, there’s so much going on where it’s like, I don’t, I don’t wanna contribute to the take economy here. Like, I have nothing to say. It’s fine. It’s a little different. It’s subtle, it’s fine. Um, I kind of like it actually.

Christina: Yeah.

Brett: I think it’s extremely visually different. I don’t hate that. Um,

Erin: It’s glowy

Brett: I do hate

Erin: are glowy.

Icon Design and Builder Limitations

Brett: not to jump back to Mac os uh, willy-nilly, but I do hate that Apple, uh, what do they call it? The Squirkle, um, uh, Squirl, Squirl Jail. You can’t have an icon that’s not a perfect rounded rectangle.

Erin: What’s a squirl?

Christina: that’s what we call th