280: Neurodivergent Housekeeping

Neurodivergent Housekeeping

[00:00:00] Brett: Hey, everybody, You’re listening to overtired, uh, due to scheduling conflicts, we could not arrange to have both Christina and Jeff on the show at the same time this week. So, because last week was just a boys’ week with just Jeff and me, Brett Turkstra.

[00:00:23] Hi, I’m Brett TURPs. You’re welcome to overtired. Because we had just done an all boys show. We really wanted to bring, uh, Christina in. So this is Brett Turkstra Christina and special guests, friend of the show. Brian Guffey. How are you?

[00:00:41] Bryan: I’m tired.

[00:00:43] Christina: You’re tired.

[00:00:44] Bryan: I’m so tired.

[00:00:45] Christina: You’re so tired. Um, you’re overtired. You’re also overexcited, right? Because you’ve got a new, uh, we’re going to go into mental health corner, but, but I, but I wanted you to be able to like, get out your excitement cause, uh, you’re

[00:00:56] Bryan: Yeah, I am. very excited. I have a new baby on the way. Um, [00:01:00] it’s a little chunkier than my old baby. Um, and it is a new ma based based model max studio. And I’m just going to say that through the magic of. People I know.

[00:01:12] And trade-ins, I’m blinking a base model Mac studio for $800. Babying. Damn, damn. Yeah. I’m really excited. so excited I can’t believe I have to wait almost the rest of the

[00:01:24] Brett: month. You’re trading and I’m a Mac mini, correct? I’m one Mac

[00:01:28] Bryan: mini. Yeah.

[00:01:29] Brett: How much should you get traded for it? 400. Yeah. Okay. That’s what they offered me.

[00:01:35] Uh, and then a couple of people on, on Twitter offered me 500 to sell it directly to them.

[00:01:43] So I think I’m going to do that, but also my whole home automation system and my media server are still running off a 2012 Mac mini in my basement. Um, and maybe, maybe it’s time to upgrade that and just [00:02:00] like, kind of move down the chain a little bit.

[00:02:03] Bryan: Maybe,

[00:02:04] Christina: Yeah, maybe.

[00:02:06] Brett: I

[00:02:07] Bryan: have money now.

[00:02:08] Christina: Oh, I was going to say, if you don’t have to get rid of it, like $500, if, if like you feel like you would get more than $500 in value out of it by having it and like maybe moving it down the chain, which

[00:02:19] Bryan: I owe the

[00:02:20] Brett: IRS, like $1,600 and I got that total and I’m like, cool, got that. No problem. And that is the first time in many years that someone has presented me with a $1,600 bill and I’ve been like, oh yeah, no problem. Cool. I’m basically rich. Now I’m basically a billionaire.

[00:02:38] Christina: I love this for you. So are you going to buy Twitter? Um, uh, next, are you going to become a

[00:02:42] Bryan: I was thinking like

[00:02:43] Brett: maybe 5%,

[00:02:45] Bryan: ma you don’t want to, you don’t want to go

[00:02:47] 10 if it’s a little more than him,

[00:02:49] Christina: I was going to say, if we do

[00:02:50] 10, then we can get Brian, um, like more followers. Like we can like force like

[00:02:56] Bryan: honestly.

[00:02:57] Brett: Can’t we just do that with cash money without being on the board. [00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Christina: I mean probably, but

[00:03:01] Bryan: we want good

[00:03:02] Christina: but the board be fun.

[00:03:03] Bryan: Yeah,

[00:03:03] Christina: Yeah. The board

[00:03:04] Brett: we want, we want the good followers. Like

[00:03:06] Bryan: all of the employees at Twitter, like now there was it’s their requirement to follow me. So

[00:03:13] Brett: that word, so mental health. How about that mental health? What what’s

[00:03:20] asked Brian first, Brian, how’s

[00:03:22] Christina: Yeah, I heard that sigh.

[00:03:24] Bryan: My mental health is like at this moment. It’s good. But it has been a bit of a shit show. The past like month. I it’s just been a rough relationship time. I’ve been in the, oh, anytime you say anything to me, possibly critical. I have to get very upset right away and tell You that you’re wrong. We talked about this a little bit on Twitter.

[00:03:54] Um, but it has been up until like last week, it was really, really. [00:04:00] And just like moments where you’re like, is this gonna work? Um, but my therapist told me once again, that I got, my boyfriend is always right. It’s literally the worst thing right there. I was like, maybe you should just see Nathan, uh, because obviously, like, I don’t know, you guys are best friends, but uh, I’ve chilled out a bit and it’s been helping.

[00:04:25] So also I take my out, I take that extra Adderall in the evening and it helps too. You take Adderall in the evening. I take Adderall through, I think Adderall at 3:00 PM. Sometimes it’s a little bit, if I forget like that extra boots,

[00:04:39] Brett: not the XR version of Adderall though.

[00:04:42] Bryan: Nope. We do XR on Straterra in the morning.

[00:04:44] And then the boost, like, it’s just, I think it’s just a 10 milligram boost.

[00:04:48] Brett: Uh, which my doctor give me

[00:04:49] Bryan: that. Yeah. And if I don’t take that, you better watch out. Cause I will, I will start a fight.

[00:04:56] Brett: It sounds like if you were in a CIS hetero [00:05:00] relationship and it were being skewered by a male comedian. Nope.

[00:05:05] You would be the man. Yes. Did I set that up, right? I feel like that made sense in my head. Yeah. Yeah,

[00:05:12] Bryan: absolutely. Yeah. It would be the game because I would be the one that was like, yeah, totally. Um, I will tell you exactly what’s wrong, but it’s always something if it’s never my fault.

[00:05:25] Brett: Yeah.

[00:05:26] I am very used to being wrong in any argument with any partner in any romantic sense, male or female, it doesn’t matter.

[00:05:38] I’m just used to feeling very much like I am correct very much feel like I am. Right. But I am incapable of winning a debate. I do not debate well, and I generally just have to accept. I either am wrong or in, or am incapable of [00:06:00] defending my belief that our marae

[00:06:05] Christina: Okay. So you’re not, but I’m guessing based on what you just said there, you’re not really conceded in most cases that you’re wrong. Secretly, you’re still thinking you’re right. You just don’t

[00:06:14] Bryan: sure. Like

[00:06:14] Brett: in my head I might be right, but for all intents and purposes, I have

[00:06:19] to be wrong.

[00:06:21] Christina: you’ve got to. Yeah, you gotta be wrong because you just, you’re not able to

[00:06:25] Bryan: Well,

[00:06:25] Brett: because if it’s, if it’s a, if it’s a, an academic debate, I might stand a chance. But if it’s like, Who was the last person to watch the dishes? I can’t I’m out fruit. I can’t prove anything. Like I do not have the contextual evidence to say, here’s why I know I was the last person wash your dishes in here are all of the surrounding events that will trigger your memory and prove that I am right.

[00:06:53] I never have that. I never

[00:06:55] have it.

[00:06:57] Christina: do appreciate the, both of you seem to like, [00:07:00] care about like who’s the last person to do. The dishes was because to me, you’d be like, I did the dishes last and I’m like, and like,

[00:07:08] Bryan: I’m the only one who does the, this in the house. I took over the kitchen for some reason when I moved them, like washing dishes is really peaceful to me.

[00:07:17] Christina: oh, that’s. Yeah, that’s really nice. Yeah. I do not have a domestic bone in my body for this sort of thing. And I would rather pay someone to do some of those things for me. And, um, when I can’t, you know, I like things get out of control, but yeah, I, I, I, in, in fairness to myself, I’ve never pretended otherwise, like I’ve never like pretended like, oh yeah, I’m, I’m a great, you know, like domestic, like, like I’m a great greeter, the whole cleaning and, you know, picking up after things, person never, never pretended that never pretended.

[00:07:51] Brett: Housekeeping. is in, in, so it’s, it’s me, ADHD, bipolar person with a [00:08:00] partner who is autistic and. For her to get to a place of cleaning the house. It’s, it’s, it’s much the same as mine, but she’s more capable of pushing through that wall of awful.

[00:08:15] Christina: Right.

[00:08:16] Brett: But when she’s in house cleaning mode, it’s angry.

[00:08:20] Like there’s No, way for her to get to vacuuming without being angry first. And then I just have to go hide because I’m fucking in capable of, of like, if someone tells me, Hey, we really need the kitty litter box cleaned and then vacuum the floors. I that’s that’s clear directive. I can do that. I can say, okay, this is not my job.

[00:08:47] But if someone is just clearly in housekeeping mode and I look around, I don’t see, I don’t see where I fit into it without being

[00:08:56] explicitly told.

[00:08:59] Christina: and, and, and, [00:09:00] and, and you probably are be more helpful by just getting out of the

[00:09:04] Brett: I, I have tried. I’ve been like, Hey, how can I help? But when someone is already pushing through a wall of awful and they’re already angry, they do not have the capacity to delegate and asking them, what should I do is just one more stress in the whole thing. And I it’s. So yeah. You’re you are correct. It is the most helpful thing I can do if I don’t see where I can fit in.

[00:09:30] It’s just get

[00:09:31] out of there.

[00:09:33] Christina: This reminds me, sorry, go on. Okay. So th th just real quick, this reminds me when, um, when, when we moved from New York, um, uh, Microsoft page to have these amazing, like movers come in and they packed literally everything up. Like, they pack up your garbage, like, they go so fast. Like, it’s one of those things and, and they, you know, shipped across the country.

[00:09:50] And then when we got, um, when we finally got an apartment, like, you know, they, they unloaded all the boxes and stuff. It was, it was excellent, but it was a stressful process because we’d been in that apartment for seven [00:10:00] years and you have people coming in, you know, like boxing and everything up. And, and I, I could not deal with it.

[00:10:06] It was just, it was going to drive me crazy. So one of the best things that grant did was he just like told me to get in a cab and go into deep Brooklyn to go to cable vision, to return the cable. And so I returned the cable box and then I went, um, to like the mall or something and, and did some shopping because, and until they were done, because I just could not be in the house while all that was happening.

[00:10:32] And that was really great of him to be like, just leave. And I was like, you know what? That’ll be better for all of us. That’s right.

[00:10:39] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:10:40] I, um, that’s why I sort of like, I took over specific things that are my job, but I also have to make sure that they’re done at particular times because Nathan, I mean lift by himself for a couple of years. And before that was like in a relationship with somebody who was like, we [00:11:00] need things to be organized all the time.

[00:11:01] And Nathan is, has like the best memory ever and is far too smart. So like, like you Brett, I just believe when he tells me that I did something, I didn’t do something because I can’t remember. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. It makes, you know, so, um, if I have not cleaned a thing. Then he suddenly gets into cleaning mode, then he will clean the thing.

[00:11:27] And then I am mad because that’s my job to clean. Okay.

[00:11:31] Brett: So here’s what I’ve worked out with. My girlfriend is I have certain response take the kitty litter, for example, like she is extremely smell sensitive and she can clean the kitty litter with a lot of coughing and gagging me, no effect. Like I don’t care.

[00:11:49] I can clean kitty litter all day long. So obviously that is something that should be my job. But I also due to lack of any sensitivity [00:12:00] will not notice when the kitty litter needs to be cleaned nearly as soon as she will. So we have an agreement that all she, she is welcome without it being nagging. She is welcome at any time to say, Hey.

[00:12:16] Can you do the kitty litter and to just let me know that now is the time to do this thing that I have taken responsibility for. And I, it doesn’t offend me. Like it doesn’t come across as nagging. It’s just, I need her to tell me when it’s bothering her so that I can do what I’ve agreed to do, because I’m not going to do it on my own.

[00:12:41] I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna realize it soon enough. So we just have this agreement that she can just tell me it’s time.

[00:12:49] Bryan: Yeah. I’ve been trying to get Mason to understand them. Like you just, just say the thing. Yeah. Just tell me the thing. Like, I will never be upset if you’re like, stop or go do this. Like, [00:13:00] and I will try to remember things I really will, but like, it’s so hard to like for it to stay in my brain.

[00:13:07] Brett: Yeah. He, he needs to understand your ADHD and what that means. As far as housekeeping, going to couples counseling with an ADHD counselor was

[00:13:20] great for us.

[00:13:22] Christina: Oh, really?

[00:13:22] Brett: oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. For, for a partner to understand exactly like it’s really easy for outside people to see ADHD, housekeeping tendencies, as some kind of like moral failing.

[00:13:38] Uh, but if they can truly understand what it’s like inside my head, uh, being faced with house cleaning, they can come to a place of empathy and understanding and actually work with me. And when you’re working with me, we can get a lot done. Like I’m not incapable of vacuuming the [00:14:00] floors. It’s just a matter of getting me to a point where I actually do it.

[00:14:08] Christina: Right.

[00:14:08] Brett: Yeah, which just takes a little understanding and yeah, honestly, if anyone, if anyone is ADHD or autistic and is in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have your particularly particular mental illness, go to counseling, go to counseling with someone who understands neurodiverse thinking it’ll it’ll, it’s great for relationships.

[00:14:33] It’s

[00:14:34] Bryan: amazing.

[00:14:36] Christina: That’s a really good tip. Actually. I bet that that would be useful, even if you both are neuro-diverse. And even if you both have some of the same things, I bet it would be, be useful then, because even if you know, it it’s different than being able to like internalize how it might be for someone

[00:14:48] Brett: Yeah. Cause you can know something full well about yourself, but seeing it in someone else can drive you insane, even though it’s the same as in you. And that’s partly like nothing drives you more insane and [00:15:00] other people then things that actually reflect parts of yourself. That’s the most. I learned that in 12 step programs, the thing that most annoys you about someone else.

[00:15:11] is probably something you also see in yourself.

[00:15:14] I’m full of Interesting

[00:15:15] tidbits

[00:15:15] Bryan: today. We have, uh, we have a book, I got him a book it’s called. Is it you B or ADHD? Oh really? Yeah. It’s about a, it’s actually a woman who her husband has ADHD and she started a support group. And so this is like just conversations and experiences of the people of the partners and the support group.

[00:15:41] Um, yeah. Um, w we were about to start going through and reading it, and then of course, He found out his contract with them being renewed. So we’re going to work, you know? So we’re just dealing with that right now. But yeah, like That’s the, that’s the thing that we’re working through because it is sometimes he’s like, I it’s so hard for him to [00:16:00] believe that I’m not just being lazy or ignoring things.

[00:16:05] Cause he can’t understand how my brain works.

[00:16:08] Brett: Is it you, me or adult add, stopping the rollercoaster when someone you love has attention deficit disorder. That’s what, that’s what my search like app gave me as a result. Is that the one? Yep. All right, cool.

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[00:17:50] How is that? did I do a good job.

[00:17:52] Christina: You did a great

[00:17:53] Bryan: I would say one way for it. I’m very excited to try to bill.

[00:17:57] Brett: I honestly, okay. This is, this is [00:18:00] outside the address, but honestly like. It tells me exactly how much I’ve spent every month and where I’ve spent it without me having to actually do anything. And that has been like really valuable to me

[00:18:15] ‘ cause

[00:18:15] Christina: That’s awesome. Yeah, ‘

[00:18:16] Brett: keep books to save my life.

[00:18:18] Christina: I can’t either. And I, I, I have things on different accounts and whatnot, and I’ve been meaning to sign up for this for a while. And now I’m actually absolutely going to, because.

[00:18:27] Brett: they even have the, even have services for tax time to see where all your expenses were. Right, right, right. Yeah. It made life much easier for me this year, because my typical approach is to basically load up Amazon purchase history and just mark off all the things that I can write off as like podcasting or, or indie dev expenses.

[00:18:54] And then I go through and I collect all of the totals and then I. Homemade system [00:19:00] services that create totals from my totals, like all, all dollar amounts in selection totaled. And, and that’s how I do my taxes, but, but true bill offers an easier way to get reports and I love it.

[00:19:15] To Patreon or not to Patreon

[00:19:15] Bryan: That’s awesome. I actually, um, have to think about that because the podcast we just finished season one did very well.

[00:19:23] Um,

[00:19:24] Christina: wow. Congratulations.

[00:19:25] Bryan: yeah. And we launched a, a coffee, like after episode nine and we’re able to recoup costs.

[00:19:34] Brett: Did you say,

[00:19:36] Christina: No, no, no. It’s K F I, so it was like coffee.

[00:19:39] Bryan: yeah, it used to be buying me a coffee. Do you remember buying me a coffee.

[00:19:42] Brett? Sorry. Yeah, It’s like, it would be,

[00:19:47] it’s a prodo Patrion originally,

[00:19:49] Christina: Yeah, exactly. I was going to say

[00:19:51] it’s it’s it’s like one click Patrion.

[00:19:53] Bryan: But we were able to be coop. I mean, we were able to make back all the money that I spent on editing [00:20:00]

[00:20:00] Christina: That’s awesome.

[00:20:00] Bryan: God. So we’re going to start a Patrion, but I realized now, like all that, money’s just going into my bank account and I work cohost, but I don’t like, I want to make sure it’s organized.

[00:20:13] Right.

[00:20:13] Christina: Right?

[00:20:14] Bryan: And then I like want that ability to like, have a business. Cause then you can get like business credit

[00:20:20] Christina: Mm.

[00:20:22] Brett: or we could be, I’m not good at that. All of the money from overtired comes to me directly. And then I have to do all the math to pay my co-hosts. And it’s complicated because. Taxes and, and we have slightly different shares because I do all the editing and it’s math. There are a lot of percentages involved in the calculations drives me nuts.

[00:20:48] Bryan: Yeah. I have a, I have a legal like aid plan through work and I think it’s going to go to them

[00:20:54] and be like, how do I start an LLC?

[00:20:56] Christina: Yeah, I was going to say, if you have that, I, I used one of those like [00:21:00] LLC and a box services that was like $200 or something, um, to, to set mine up. Cause just cause it went through the process. And then, um, I mostly did it because I needed a tax ID number, which you can actually get for free. Um, and then you can, I mean, a lot of it you can do, you know, um, uh, depending on your state, like you can do most of it online, but those, some of those services make it easier, but yeah, I’d reach out to your, um, business, um, uh, like your, your, whatever your, your law plan is.

[00:21:27] Um, we, uh, I had one of those at Microsoft when I was at Microsoft. So. Um, which I never used, which was a shame because I paid money for it every month. So you should definitely use it and see how they can help you out and form your LLC. For sure.

[00:21:40] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:21:41] Brett: So this, this, uh, this talk of Patrion is a perfect segue into one of the topics I have on our list. However, first I want to know

[00:21:53] Christina, how’s your mental health.

[00:21:55] Christina: My mental health. That’s pretty good. So I was on, on the show last week because I [00:22:00] was stressed cause I was about to start a new job. And um, so for listeners who are now listening, um, I have now been at, I, uh, started a new job. I, um, and now I get up, which is really, really

[00:22:10] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:22:11] Christina: So that’s been really good.

[00:22:14] So it’s, it’s interesting. Cause it’s the same, like Microsoft owns GitHub, but it is a different company. The tools are different. My email is different. I have a different badge. Like the opposites are different. Payroll is different. Insurance is different benefits. Like there are some things that are the same and, and I still have like a way to have like a Microsoft email account and I can still collaborate with some people internally, but more of it is different than, than the same.

[00:22:43] So, um, I’m now like, you know, um, now like they, um, I guess a seven and, um, it’s good. Um, it’s just, uh, still getting used to everything, right? So it’s. Like jumping into a fire hose and [00:23:00] trying to kind of like get up to speed with how everything works and what the differences are. And having to kind of break my brain from like the five years of, and I didn’t think that I would ever like, internalize so much Microsoft processes, but I did.

[00:23:15] And so it’s one of those things where I’m like, and I’m not like having not, I’m not opposed to it or anything, but it’s just one of those things where I’m like, okay, right. So this is what we do, you know, like just seeing how different companies run and, and are organized. So my mental health is good, but I’m also kind of overwhelmed if that makes any

[00:23:31] Bryan: So

[00:23:32] Brett: when you’re working for get hub, do they, do they unnecessarily distribute everything as PowerPoint presentations? Like even when it doesn’t make sense to

[00:23:44] Christina: no,

[00:23:45] Bryan: yeah, that’s what I thought.

[00:23:47] Christina: no. no. Everything is a pull request. Everything is an

[00:23:49] Bryan: Oh my God.

[00:23:51] Christina: yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s like your dream. Um, yeah.

[00:23:55] Brett: I failed. Okay. We’re not going to talk about works. My, my work [00:24:00] stuff, because you know, this is public, but, but I did fail to apply for a position at.

[00:24:09] Uh,

[00:24:10] Christina: Well, you know what you’ll, I’m sure you’ll have other opportunities. And, um, if that’s the case, I, I now am working there so I will have much more insights into being able to talk you up.

[00:24:22] Brett: for any Oracle employees listening, I do actually love my job at Oracle and the reason I didn’t apply for an open GitHub position that would have been perfect for me. Is I just, I don’t, I don’t have any reason to leave Oracle at this point. And it really got in my head and there was like this whole existential crisis around like even applying for another job.

[00:24:52] Bryan: Yes. About, yeah, I know that feeling, you know, I was, I’ve been thinking about the same thing then having a conversation [00:25:00] about, do I stay where I am? Do I go somewhere else? I know I can get, make a lot more money on the open market.

[00:25:05] Christina: You’re right.

[00:25:06] Bryan: I love the company that I’m at. And I mean, being an ADHD person and going to a new company is like, oh, I got to learn everything all over again.

[00:25:16] And you have to have a work with people. Have

[00:25:19] Brett: you been, have you been honest with your higher ups about your, about ADHD and stuff like that? Yeah. And so the idea of starting a new job means you have to break that ground all over again. And that is a very disconcerting

[00:25:34] conversation to have

[00:25:36] Christina: Right. No, most definitely. Most definitely. And, and I think that there’s something to be said, you know, if you’re in the tech industry even a little bit right now, like the open job market is so competitive right now, you can make way more money. Like I could’ve made more money, not going to get up. If I’d gone to like a, an external company completely.

[00:25:55] I could’ve made a lot more money. I’m like, oh yeah.

[00:25:58] Brett: make

[00:25:59] pretty good money.

[00:25:59] Bryan: [00:26:00] Kristy.

[00:26:00] Christina: I do, and I, I could have, if I’d gone to Amazon or Google or Twitter or Metta or one of those, um, we’re just being honest here. I could have doubled my salary.

[00:26:10] Brett: Jesus Christ. You make so much money,

[00:26:14] Christina: I don’t make that much money, but, but, like, I don’t make that much money, but like, I mean, I do well, but like it’s it’s, but, but I could have, I could have doubled my salary, um, uh, at least with options and stuff.

[00:26:24] Um, but for me it was a similar thing as what you’re saying, Brian lake, I think there’s something to be said, if you like where you are. There’s a benefit to that. Now I think that at a certain point, if you know what. Potential is other places that can obviously, and I think should, you know, like make it possible to have conversations about, okay, are, is, is the place you’re at?

[00:26:45] Are they willing to work with you or whatnot, but there’s more to this stuff than just like the bottom line, you know, you’ve got to think about, am I happy with where I’m working? Do I want to start the process of having to start on a new team all over again and whatnot? In [00:27:00] my case, I actually, I’m so excited about the team that I’m on.

[00:27:02] I’m so excited about working on what I’m going to work on. And, and, and I, you know, have, um, nothing but kind things to say about like my team at Microsoft, but I was also looking for a new challenge. And so I wanted something new and, and I, if it hadn’t been get hub, if it hadn’t been another company, it probably would have been another team at Microsoft.

[00:27:21] So it was perfect for me. Cause I was like, okay, if all the places I would want to go. This is like the place that I want to go. But if you’re not feeling that, like, I totally respect people were like, you know what? Even if I could get more money or even if it seems like it’s a good thing, if it’s not like feeling fully pressing.

[00:27:43] Like there’s okay, let me put it this way. If someone reaches out to me or if someone were to directly reach out to one of you and were to say, I would like to talk to you about a job, no matter how happy you are. I always encourage people to always take the conversation no matter what, but [00:28:00] if it’s, if it’s you who are actively going to go through the process of filling out an application and thinking about like what it would take to go through the interview loop and all that, that’s a little bit different.

[00:28:12] Brett: got us. I got to say, if you’re working in the tech industry, having get hub on your resume, even a six month stint at get hub, it’s gotta be good for you.

[00:28:26] Christina: I hope so. I hope so. I mean, so far the team is great. It’s really nice. I’m back on slack. Um,

[00:28:31] Bryan: Are you happy. about

[00:28:32] that?

[00:28:33] Christina: oh, I’m so happy.

[00:28:34] I’m so

[00:28:35] Bryan: had better get support.

[00:28:37] It’s really.

[00:28:39] Christina: I know, I know. Cause I actually, this was the thing I, I actually, I, I realized that I was like, oh, actually like the Jif support on teams is better at this point. Um, you know,

[00:28:50] Brett: Yes. Yes. Yes. We’re not going to have this battle Right. now. We don’t is unnecessary battle, but yes, man. So [00:29:00] Oracle has this thing in their slack where all personal conversations, all DMS disappear after like one month. Oh wow.

[00:29:10] Christina: Um,

[00:29:10] Brett: Your history is just erased and people, you had a conversation going with, you have to want, you have to start a brand new, fresh DM with after I think it’s 30 days, but

[00:29:23] sometimes it seems like it’s even less than that.

[00:29:25] Christina: Yeah. They might have different retention periods depending on the channel and the type of conversation.

[00:29:30] Bryan: My

[00:29:31] Brett: manager recently set up individual channels for all of his reports. Like every one of us now has a Maneesh Brett channel, just because that is the only way to preserve the history. Otherwise your, your conversations, all of the links you’ve shared, all of the things you’ve figured out are gone with the wind.

[00:29:55] It’s horrible. Like why

[00:29:56] would you do that? What’s

[00:29:57] Bryan: the

[00:29:57] Christina: Um, okay. So, so you know, [00:30:00] the joke, um, about, um, you know, like the org charts for the tech companies, you know, that. You know, the, you know, the thing I’m talking about. Okay. There’s it, there’s like a thing where it shows like what the org charts look like at all the companies. And like at apple, I think that it was everybody going internally, like to the CEO, you know, who’s like Steve jobs at Microsoft.

[00:30:17] You have a bunch of fiefdoms where everybody has guns to each other’s heads and are all trying to shoot each other. Um, uh, Google and Facebook, I think they various things. And then Oracles is like shows a certain amount of engineers and a certain amount of something else, and then a much, much bigger group as lawyers.

[00:30:34] So, so, um, and, uh, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m finding that the graphic to put it in. And so when I hear that, I think that that is completely like a lawyer thing where they’re like, yep, we have had to turn over, um, uh, you know, stuff in discovery and whatnot. And so we are doing everything we can to limit what we keep and because we don’t want to have [00:31:00] to deal with that.

[00:31:00] Brett: after a year of struggle, Oracle and entirely with Oracle legal teams, uh, after a year of struggle, Oracle finally has a public slack where developers can come get help, uh, converse with each other, talk to Oracle directly. It took a year of basically pleading and, and, uh, conforming to all of these legal requirements.

[00:31:28] You actually put out a public slack just for the devil, not like anyone’s letting like developers into Oracle’s internal channels. Just to have a public slack took so much legal maneuvering. It was insane. Anyway. So in brief, my mental health is, uh, five minutes after like a week of feeling jittery. Now it’s doing shit for me.

[00:31:54] And I asked my doctor if we could up my dosage. And [00:32:00] she said, I had to wait until the next time we met, which isn’t too far off. And That’s fine because something is better than nothing, but I’m scraping by for now. I think I’m depressed. I, I can’t, it’s not like the depression I was getting after like manic episodes when I would like fall into deep depression.

[00:32:19] It’s just kinda like, I would rather a soy in my little, so I called it a den in the last episode. And, uh, people in our discord suggested words like late. Or theater spelled T H E a T R E, that that came from Harold, Chris Herald. Um, so I’m going to go with layer, uh, because I don’t have, you can, if you say,

[00:32:49] if you say theater, but you mean theater with an Ari to be slightly pretentious, then you have to spell it. So I’m going to go with layer in my layer. I added back [00:33:00] lighting to my TV. So the entire wall behind my TV lights up based on the colors on the screen, but I, I can put it in music mode and there it has a microphone and all of the hue lights in the room sync with Spotify.

[00:33:15] So now I can play any music I want to, and the entire room turns into a sensory experience. And I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the account. But like there are scenes where he turns on strobe, light blast metal, and then like w has a roller that he wrote rolls across his shin for like just complete sensory overload.

[00:33:39] And that is something I’ve done my whole life. Uh, as a stress reliever, it’s just complete sensory overload. And Right.

[00:33:48] now, for some reason, for whatever reason, I’m finding this, this room full of light and sound to be extremely therapeutic for me. So I’m loving it. [00:34:00] I see the org chart. You posted Christina

[00:34:04] Christina: Yeah.

[00:34:05] Brett: in our show

[00:34:06] Bryan: notes.

[00:34:07] Christina: That’s good stuff. Right.

[00:34:08] Bryan: Oh, my God. It’s amazing.

[00:34:11] Brett: All right. We’ll put it in the show notes. People can catch up on their own time. Speaking of Patrion, I just upped my subscription, my donations, my contributions to . And I can’t remember if we’ve talked about on the show before probably, but so it, apology comes from the Greek word.

[00:34:37] Like I’m not going to, I’m not going to try to find it, but it’s about Christianity. It’s about apologetics, um, pology. His name is about apologetics. Yes, definitely. His name is Paul. He, he is a former Christian who takes a look at the claims of Christians. [00:35:00] that’s his tagline. And he let his Patrion lets you pay per episode instead of like a monthly contribution.

[00:35:09] And he is prolific, which is great to me. And I upped my contribution from like $1 to $5 per episode. He publishes, which is multiple episodes a month. And I have never felt better about supporting a YouTube, a YouTuber than I do with apology. Uh, his, so like these, these arguments I’ve had with my parents, especially regarding evolution.

[00:35:42] Mike. I asked my dad one morning at breakfast, in the midst of a blow up. If I sent you links, if I sent you educational links, would you read them? And he said, yes. And so I [00:36:00] searched and searched and the best resources I found for having this con, because as mentioned previously, I suck at debate. Like I can’t.

[00:36:10] I can’t sit there and present you with facts. And not that that would do any good in a very emotional conversation, but I, I can’t, I can’t win a debate, but Paula JIA has this series of, of responses he did to a creationist. Like here’s why creation is real. And then he deconstruct it very calmly and without being sarcastic or mean he deconstructs these claims and it was it’s exactly what I needed.

[00:36:44] And so I wrote a four page email to my dad, which I still have not sent. I have not broken that seal yet, but as soon as I’d finished the email I went and signed up for pology is [00:37:00] patriotic because I’m like, you are having the conversation I need to have with my parents for me. And I really appreciate that.

[00:37:08] Bryan: Yeah. I, you know, I grew up with a, uh, a Christian background too, but I grew up in the United church of Christ, which is like the whole other side of things. Um, they’re very liberal. Like, I didn’t even know that it like that they were Christians who didn’t like gay people until I was a senior in high school.

[00:37:27] It was a revelation. I

[00:37:28] got to tell you.

[00:37:30] Christina: Oh, that’s so interesting. I mean, I grew up a Pisco Haley, and they’re good at the gays, but there, but it’s also like I, but I also grew up around a bunch of Baptists.

[00:37:39] Bryan: Yeah, I yeah.