254: Another Morning After

Overtired 254

[00:00:00] Christina: You’re listening to overtired. I’m Christina Warren here as always with the wonderful Brett Terpstra Brett, how are you?

[00:00:12] Brett: Hi, I’m good. I’m actually recording from the beginning this time. We’re not missing anything.

[00:00:19] Christina: Okay. We’re recording from the beginning. This is good. So we are not going to miss the first 20 minutes of, of, um, uh, pop punk talk. Um, that’s important. Um, but, uh, when actually, uh, you also, you did the thing that we talk about, like, uh, where, um, you’re not saying I’m fucking awesome. Uh, when I actually asked you legit, how you, where you’re like, we need to do a Bret mental health

[00:00:42] corner update.

[00:00:42] Mental Health Corner

[00:00:43] Christina: So, so let’s just get into that right away.

[00:00:46] Brett: yeah. Yeah. So when I say I’m good, that’s usually a masking.

[00:00:52] Christina: Yes. It’s just what we do.

[00:00:56] Brett: Yeah. So, uh, on, I [00:01:00] think Tuesday, I very suddenly went manic, um, in the late, late afternoon, I think it started like, it was this definite switch and I didn’t sleep Tuesday night or Wednesday night at all. And by Thursday I was just a zombie, um, like, uh, Wednesday I was super productive. I did a week’s worth of work, uh, which is good because on Thursday I couldn’t work at all.

[00:01:36] But so today is like, I slept last night, I got a good deep eight hours of sleep with crazy dreams. Uh, so now the, like, have you, you’ve had all nighters.

[00:01:51] Christina: Uh, yes.

[00:01:52] Brett: So the you’re fine up until you sleep. And then when you wake up, then it all hits you. [00:02:00] So right now I’m totally, uh, I’m dragging. It feels like I’m underwater, like fighting for consciousness.

[00:02:09] Christina: Yeah. Yeah. So D um, what, what type of weird dreams did you have? Like

[00:02:14] Brett: Here’s the weirdest thing is I’m fully aware that I was having weird dreams. I was aware in the dream that this was a weird dream, but I cannot remember what it was about.

[00:02:25] Christina: That’s, I’ve had that happen before? Um, I, that’s always the most bizarre thing where I’m like in the dream and I’m like, this is weird and this isn’t what it typically, you know, like dream about.

[00:02:40] And I know something with this is off, but then you wake up and you’re like, okay, that was weird enough that in the dream, I was conscious enough to be like, This is a bizarre dream.

[00:02:50] And then I’m like, oh yeah, totally lost it.

[00:02:52] Brett: Did you ever have dreams? Where in the dream you feel like this is a dream you have all the time. Like you’re going back to someplace [00:03:00] familiar and this is, this is like something you’ve known your whole life and then you wake up and it seems like, like you never had that dream before.

[00:03:10] Christina: Yeah. Although my word thing, I guess I would say is I, sometimes I’ve definitely had the, maybe this is what you’re talking about. Maybe it’s slightly different, but I’ve had the thing where I’m in a dream and it’s referencing an earlier dream and it like, maybe even is an earlier dream. And like, and I’m aware of this.

[00:03:26] I’m like, oh, I had this dream before.

[00:03:28] Yeah.

[00:03:28] And now I’m kind of, and it’s not quite a lucid dream, but it is the sort of thing where. I’m like distinctly aware in the dream. At least it seems at that time that I’ve had this dream before. And, and, uh, yeah, when I wake up, I may or may not remember any of it. Um, but at the time I’m certainly like, it’s enough for me to remember now that I can be like, oh yeah, I’ve definitely referenced dreams and other dreams.

[00:03:52] But if you were to ask me what those things were, I would have no idea what to tell you.

[00:03:55] Brett: Yeah. If I don’t, when I wake up, I will usually for [00:04:00] about five minutes, I’ll remember what I was just dreaming. And if I don’t make a conscious effort to note the dream five minutes later, I can’t remember it anymore. So I actually, if I remember my dream, when I wake up, I like just instinctively like take mental notes on it.

[00:04:18] So that, that doesn’t happen. Cause I hate forgetting things. Alzheimer’s is my biggest fear in the world

[00:04:28] Alzheimer’s runs in my family. Um, I I’m so scared that that will happen to me.

[00:04:34] Christina: Yeah, I, um, I don’t know how much it, it runs in my family and I’m like, my grandmother had that or she might’ve had dementia. I don’t know like what they wound up actually classifying it as, but she, she died of it anyway. And, um, it was terrible. And

[00:04:51] Brett: Yeah. That’s my, my grandfather did too.

[00:04:54] Christina: yeah. And it’s, I don’t know if it has, if anybody else has it or has had it or not, [00:05:00] but yes,

[00:05:00] Brett: Yeah. When I say runs in the family, I just made my grandfather. It’s not like a, a generational thing that happens just, uh, knowing that someone in my family has had, it means that it increases the likelihood that I will have it. My grandmother had some dementia, but it wasn’t Alzheimer’s she had Parkinson’s for like 15 years.

[00:05:24] Oh

[00:05:24] Christina: And that, that adds its own complexities to it because of what that does.

[00:05:28] Somehow, Eugenics

[00:05:28] Brett: yeah. Yeah, no, like I w one of the major reasons I decided pretty early on not to have kids is family history, like between heart disease and mental health issues. It, any kid I have is pretty much guaranteed to at the least be neurodiverse. But at worst things like cancer and Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s and bipolar [00:06:00] disorder.

[00:06:00] And like, it’s, it’s scary. Like I wouldn’t, I, I do not want to roll those dice.

[00:06:07] Christina: Yeah, I can respect that. Um, I mean, I just didn’t want kids. Um, but, but I certainly there’ve been, there’ve been like things in my mind, I guess, that I’ve thought about. I was like, Yeah, you know, I could see that this would be like, uh, a problem, uh, or potentially not maybe a problem, but this could be something like to, to look out for.

[00:06:24] Like, I’m sure that my kids would, if I did have kids, I’m sure that there would be. Uh, neurodiverse element there. Um, I have too much like depression and anxiety and OCD and perfectionism shit to let that be completely, uh, like, you know, I don’t know, but at the same time, you never know, maybe you’ll be fine.

[00:06:47] Um, cause the rest of my family seems fairly clear on that stuff or more clear, like my sister definitely has some stuff, but what she has is different and probably more difficult to treat. [00:07:00] She’s also refuses to go to the doctor or

[00:07:02] Brett: Yeah, that doesn’t.

[00:07:02] Christina: So no, it doesn’t. Um, uh, my dad is. Well, I guess ADHD does run pretty strongly family.

[00:07:09] My mom doesn’t.

[00:07:10] have it. My dad does. Um, and, uh, and my sister does and I do so that would probably be a fairly strong sign that that would be, you know, um, but, but other than that, I don’t know

[00:07:22] Brett: Yeah.

[00:07:22] Christina: though. I mean, I respect people making that decision and saying, I don’t, I don’t want to, you know, put kids through that or being more honest, maybe about it.

[00:07:30] I don’t want to go through that with a kid. Um, me, I just don’t want kids.

[00:07:36] Brett: So I had this conversation, uh, the other night with L uh, it was basically a eugenics conversation and I was playing devil’s advocate, um, on the, maybe there’s a place for eugenic side of things and it got real, real shady, real fast.

[00:07:54] Christina: I was going to say, I was gonna say, there’s, that’s a cause I’ve taken that position too. In the [00:08:00] past, when I used to kind of be like, this was me in high school, but, but you know, kind of like wanting to be just a contrarian, but yeah.

[00:08:08] Brett: So like, I I’m of the opinion that it’s like when it comes to not gene editing so much, but, but being tested for your genetic, uh, proclivities, um, and making decisions is, uh, you should know what the risks are before you get pregnant. And that’s really the big thing for me. And when it comes to like designer babies and everything, I can argue both sides, but, uh, the conversation we were having was, if you knew that, uh, you were going to have, uh, like an ADHD kid or an autistic kid, would you, would you like, would you want the ability to say no?

[00:08:52] Christina: right? no?

[00:08:53] I mean, w w w w would you do, I mean, look, they already do this, they do this when they, when they check, they test for down syndrome and things like that. And if [00:09:00] they see the, the, the chromosomal deficiency or. That The markers,

[00:09:04] or whatever, then there are, that’s one of the reasons why they do those tests as early as they do them.

[00:09:09] So that women have the opportunity to, you know, abort the pregnancy. Um, cause that’s what it is like when people talk about abortion, they don’t like to talk about the fact that lots and lots of people have like medical abortions basically, because they’ve seen markers that say the child is not going to be healthy.

[00:09:29] Brett: Yeah. Well, yeah. And that’s where it’s a real, real tricky area. Yeah.

[00:09:35] Christina: What in there are there, there are some people, I mean, particularly very religious people who will say, um, I didn’t want to know, um, or, or I wouldn’t have made a different decision. There are some people who say, well, I want to know I’m it won’t change my decision, but it will change how I go about dealing with things, which I think is also a valid thing to say, if, if you know this going on.

[00:09:58] You know, th they have these markers, [00:10:00] um, there’s your child is going to, again, have something like, like, like down syndrome, then you are going to prepare for the additional cost and the additional challenges and other potential add on health concerns. Right. Because that oftentimes does go along with physical and, um, other, uh, more serious like medical issues.

[00:10:20] Um, and so, uh, you know, things that aren’t strictly just, you know, mental, um, but some people don’t want to know that at all. And, and it does that, the line does get really interesting because you have people of all the different communities who will argue, you know, it is, there, there is nothing wrong with this, and this is how people are, and we shouldn’t do anything to it to prevent this.

[00:10:46] There are other people who say, well, no, you don’t want people who. You know, going to be born in pain and then, you know, live in, in, in suffering and then die, right? Like, like yeah,

[00:10:58] Brett: the question, like [00:11:00] the idea of like finding out something is medically wrong with a child you’re caring and making the decision to abort feels worse somehow than just not wanting a kid and getting an abortion. And like, is there really a difference between getting an abortion because you don’t want to have children and getting an abortion because you don’t want to have that child.

[00:11:23] Christina: no, I don’t think there is. I think they’re exactly the same thing. Like one can feel worse, but I think that they’re exactly the same thing. I think

[00:11:31] Brett: One just feels more personal. Like it’s an attack.

[00:11:34] Christina: Well, yeah, but it’s a bit at bits, but if you think about it in the abstract, you’re kind of saying the same thing. Like, you’re kind of saying, I don’t want the expense. I don’t want the pressure. I don’t want the hassle. This isn’t the right time in my life. Whatever the reasons are you’re making that, this shit, that decision.

[00:11:51] Um, if, if, uh, cause you could argue that some people, some people would flip it and some people would say, well, if you know that you’re having a perfectly healthy [00:12:00] child that can survive and thrive and you’re choosing not to bring that into the world, that is worse than choosing not to bring, you know, a child that has, you know, a lot of medical complications, uh, mental or

[00:12:11] Brett: elitist.

[00:12:13] Christina: it is.

[00:12:14] But That’s the whole point of, I mean, a. Our society, this is the society we live in. Um, so, so some people would absolutely say that that choosing to not bring a healthy child from the world is, is worse or every bit is bad to me. I don’t think that there’s a moral difference, I think is the exact same thing.

[00:12:33] And I think that it’s a, it’s a completely ethical decision to make if you’re making it yourself. I think that where it becomes problematic

[00:12:40] Brett: Oh, God. Yeah.

[00:12:42] Christina: when, as it was very common, I mean, China is now dealing with this problem, but you know, the fact that you were only allowed one child and that, that men were so preferred that they had, you know, um, I mean, they were like, you see this in other places too, but you know, like, like ultrasounds and whatnot, you know, portable [00:13:00] ultrasounds and things like that, where women are finding out what the sex of their child is, and then getting an abortion for that reason.

[00:13:06] Like, I think that that is,

[00:13:08] Brett: it’s that really different though?

[00:13:10] Christina: it is though, because it’s not their choice that their government

[00:13:13] Brett: oh, I see what you’re saying.

[00:13:14] Christina: the government is saying, you can have one child

[00:13:16] Brett: Anytime, anytime an abortion decision is made by anyone other than the mother, I’m not okay.

[00:13:24] Christina: Yeah. I mean, look, I personally think that if you’re going to, you know, make the decision based on gender and no one else is doing anything. Yeah. That seems a little fucked, but whatever. Uh, but when the government is the one who’s saying, you can only have one child and then you’re having to put the pros and cons and in your mind, because women have been so, you know, mistreated and in our are subjugated to different, you know, like allowances and opportunities than men that you obviously want your child to have the best opportunity.

[00:13:55] Then, you know, you wound up, you, Y you wind up fucking society. I mean, that’s honestly, I [00:14:00] think, uh, at an even better like argument for like equal rights than, uh, than anything is to be like, yeah, this is what happens when, when you make it so clear that one, um, you know, uh, sex is, is better than the other.

[00:14:15] Brett: Can do, can you imagine if we were doing this show live and had a chat open right now?

[00:14:20] Christina: Okay. Well, we still pissed.

[00:14:22] Brett: So dear listeners, um, in case you don’t know, we have a discord server and it is chock full of neurodiverse and queer, and generally interesting people, but it’s not super active. Um, like they’re usually on a given day one or two short conversations, and I wish, I wish it were more active without having to actually put any effort in.

[00:14:49] I wish that, uh, it just sparked more conversation, but if you have some feelings about eugenics, uh, abortion, come share them, [00:15:00] start a lively discussion. Everyone there is super nice, uh, friendly. They can be stern, but they won’t be mean.

[00:15:09] Christina: Yeah. Which has fantastic.

[00:15:11] Brett: Yeah. Yeah. I love RP.

[00:15:14] Christina: Yeah, I love our people too. I need to be more active in the discord. I took discord off my phone. I’m going to put it back on again. Um, but things were getting too much. Um, I was,

[00:15:25] Brett: mobile.

[00:15:26] Christina: well, it was getting, it was getting just like I had like too many, um, like I, it’s one of those things where sometimes you get like the slack problem, you know, or you have too many of them.

[00:15:37] Brett: Yeah.

[00:15:38] Christina: My issue Chu. And I talked about this before, so I have like a lurker discord account that is not tied to my actual identity that I like for certain types of like PC, uh, like this is like, especially when I was like console hunting and like PC component hunting. But I like to be in, and then there are there’s, you know, the one that I have that I’m in the overtired one that is [00:16:00] actually attached my real identity and this score, doesn’t let you manage multiple accounts very well.

[00:16:05] Like you have to basically have two different instances open. So I have to have to, like, I have to have basically two PWAs, um, uh, to do it. And so it’s, uh, it’s, it’s frustrating that they don’t let you do that. Um, like a better, especially since discord of all of them know that you often want to have a different identity in different groups, because the issue is yes, you can have a different username and different servers, but, and I realize I’m being paranoid here, but I’m also not being paranoid here.

[00:16:35] If people want to, they can use different tools to find a list of your usernames and other discords and what other discourse you’re part of. And so it’s one of those things where like, I don’t know, I don’t know. And maybe this is, this is probably more of a me issue than like a normal person issue. I’m not famous or anything, but I’m, well-known enough that [00:17:00] like, there’s just times when you don’t want to be.

[00:17:04] Like, there are just times when you just don’t want people to get mad at you. Even if you say something completely fine and then like threaten your, you know, threaten your like employability and shit like that, you know?

[00:17:15] Brett: Sometimes you’re just not in the mood for that kind of.

[00:17:17] Christina: Exactly. Exactly. Cause I’ve I’ve had instances cause I haven’t had something like, cause I, again, I primarily use like my real name, most places or, or, or I use, you know, film underscore girl, you know, username or whatever.

[00:17:29] And, and I was in some forum recently and I was just commenting like a normal customer. Like everybody else, he knows excited to get like my, my product ordered or whatever. And again, I wasn’t mad that this happened. I was actually, um, it’s, it’s always nice when, when people recognize you, but I had a number of people in that chat who are not part of my, you know, typical, normal audience who like knew me and were like, oh, you know, we’ve got somebody, you know, well-known in here.

[00:17:54] And I’m like, um, Uh, customer like anybody else, you know? And, and it was super [00:18:00] nice that like, people, like, obviously you like listen to my podcasts and know me from other things. And like, I have no problem with that, but it’s just, it’s sort of this weird reminder. It’s like, okay, you want, I’m not trying to, you know?

[00:18:11] Yeah. It just, it’s just, there are times when I would just rather be on my lurker account.

[00:18:17] Nerdy, As Usual

[00:18:17] Brett: I get it, man. Okay. My, my, my brain is, so I have, I term up, my advisor is showing and there’s like some Jason output from a script and I got totally distracted thinking about, oh, I made a VPN button. So like I told you about this whole like thing where I run Docker on my

[00:18:44] Christina: Exactly. Exactly. and then you’re like basically SSH into it to run a tunnel.

[00:18:49] Brett: But I don’t have an easy way to check the status to make sure that the Docker image is running, that the ports are connected.

[00:18:58] Uh, and in [00:19:00] know, like I have a, uh, terminal, like I can type VPN in my terminal and it’ll send a script to the mini and restart the Docker image, like close it out and start it because, um, our VPN connection expires every 24 hours.

[00:19:17] Christina: Oh, that’s So,

[00:19:19] Brett: yeah. You know, but it’s not. So I just have a launch D task that, that restarts it every night at midnight, and generally that works, but sometimes it fails to actually restart it.

[00:19:31] So anyway, what I did, I added a shell script button to my touch bar. I, and I actually have a real touch bar. I’ll tell you about that later. Um, but on my simulator and on my touch bar, I get a blue icon with a lock. If the VPN is functioning and all of the ports are open, if it, and it checks it every 30 seconds, if at any point it’s not like fully functional, the icon turns orange.

[00:19:59] And if I [00:20:00] press and hold it, uh, it will restart the Docker. Image and then give me the status so I can do all of this without having to SSH or screenshare or anything. Um, it’s a very cool little system. I’m very, I’m very pleased with myself.

[00:20:19] Christina: You too. That’s awesome.

[00:20:21] Brett: Yeah. Um, we’ll talk about laptops in a second.

[00:20:26] Christina: Yeah, I am. While you were talking about your VPN button, I was going through My

[00:20:30] get hub, um, stars and, um, um, I think I’d had this one before, but it changed names. And so I recently was trying it out cause I needed a recommendation for people. Um, this just reminded me, It’s completely a tangent, but it, it, it, this would be something that actually you would, you, I could see you scripting to your, your stream deck or your, um, your, uh, touch bar kind of set up or whatever.

[00:20:51] But, um, you know, we’ve talked about how much we love YouTube DL before and there’s, um, um, the, the gooey that somebody [00:21:00] built for it in, in Python or whatever, like in QT or whatever. Cute. At the Jillian years ago, hasn’t been updated in like four years. And so, um, for people who need like a, cross-platform gooey to recommend to people who don’t want to deal with all the command line stuff there haven’t been a lot of options like on Mac, the best option is Downey, but it costs money, which some people don’t like,

[00:21:21] Brett: on set up

[00:21:22] Christina: it is on setup.

[00:21:23] Brett: I will swear by Downey.

[00:21:24] Christina: I, I love, I love, Downey. That’s what I use. But there are times when I’m either on like a, I’m not on a Mac, which is, you know, not super common, but it’s certainly a thing that happens sometimes. And, um, uh, the bigger thing is, but I need to recommend it to people who, for whatever reason, maybe they’re not on a Mac or they don’t want to pay for Downey.

[00:21:45] or they don’t for whatever reason, subscribe to set up, which I mean,

[00:21:50] Brett: Crazy. That’s crazy.

[00:21:52] Christina: look, I agreed some of the best money I spend every month.

[00:21:54] Um, I’m like, they’re not even sponsoring us this week or.

[00:21:58] Brett: never have.

[00:21:59] Christina: He [00:22:00] never had the number sponsored, that’s your right, but I love set up a, they should be a sponsor. Um, but, um, there’s a new one called open. It’s been around for a while, but it’s recently just had some nice updates it’s called, um, eh, the, it used to be called like YouTube DL gooey or whatever.

[00:22:18] Um, but, um, they had to change the name because YouTube was trademarked. So it’s now open video downloader and it’s a, it’s, it’s made an electron and no JS, but it’s got a Nice. like modern kind of interface. And I like it it’s, it’s not Downey. Downey is I think still going to be like, you know, for, for Mac users the best and like most, you know, like performance kind of thing.

[00:22:44] But I like it it’s it’s well done. And, um, the, the guy is really active on. Um, it’s still using the, the current, uh, YouTube DL, um, binary, but one of the features on the roadmap is to replace it with one of [00:23:00] the UDL forks. That’s added a bunch of really good stuff. And so, uh, and that seems to be more active because even before the whole kerfuffle of the RIA or whoever, NPAA, whoever sending take-down stuff, like it hadn’t been active or super active.

[00:23:16] Um, and, um, there’ve been a lot of like, um, you know, PRS that hadn’t been merged and whatnot. So somebody finally, there were two, there, there are two forks and I think that the there’s one, um, that is, uh, that’s more active then. Um, another DLP is, is the one that’s more active cause there’s another one is DL something.

[00:23:37] But, um, uh, it might be DLG I don’t remember, but, but anyway, um, whatever the more active one is, um, they, uh, they already have it on, um, Like the, the doc to, to, um, integrate into kind of replace because it’s, uh, cause like, I think it’s DLP. I believe that’s the one where it has like the option to, to do, [00:24:00] um, like, um, ad blocking and things like that.

[00:24:02] Like when you download stuff or when you’re doing other things, so sponsored block, I believe it’s called so

[00:24:09] Brett: Nice. Wow. That, yeah. W I, I lost track. I was looking at your stars via our website where Christina’s stars are in the footer. Um, which, which one is the, the nice, uh, interface you were talking about? Cause there’s like a WX Python.

[00:24:28] Christina: yeah. And that’s not the right one it’s I put it in our show notes and our Quip. It is, it is, is the jelly 2000 to YouTube yell. And I believe that 2002 means the person was born in 2002, which, um, it’s horrifying, um, on a lot of levels, but also as persons, very talented, so

[00:24:49] Brett: cool. Cool.

[00:24:51] All right. So my first big project at work, uh, I just got word from the highest level [00:25:00] person that actually interacts with my team. So the CMO, uh, uh, loved my love, the Jekyll set. Hi bill.

[00:24:51] Your Employer and Your Mental Health

[00:25:09] Christina: nice.

[00:25:10] Brett: Like there were a few, it was, it was mostly functional on Monday. And then I went and manic and worked on it all through.

[00:25:20] Monday night, Tuesday night, uh, I added search full like lunar based search. I added, I made, I made the menu like super cool, responsive, like, you know how, like you shrink the screen down and you get the hamburger menu. This one, like as menu items fall off, like puts it into an overflow hamburger menu. Uh, so you can, it doesn’t all happen at once.

[00:25:45] And I did a bunch of styling, did a bunch of, I wrote a plugin that if you set a front matter tag on a markdown post, it will separate, it’ll find all of the, uh, H [00:26:00] twos or you can tell it in, in the plugin, do you use H three or four and it will split them up into slides and give you like it’s four tutorials.

[00:26:10] So then you get like the interest slide with a big begin button and you can page through the sections and. Slides. So it’s like an automatic one page app for every tutorial we’re putting on the site. It’s it was awesome. I’m very proud of it. Uh, you know, like I got to the, I had a, uh, one-on-one meeting with my manager, uh, halfway through this manic phase and I was, I, I was showing him all the stuff I’d done and he was super happy and I, I almost decided right then to explain why I was getting so much done and what the other side of it would be, and just be like upfront about the bipolar thing I decided [00:27:00] not to, because anytime I make life decisions during a manic phase, I’ve learned to question them,

[00:27:07] Christina: Yeah. Yeah. Cause that could have gone either way. Like if you like And have a good relationship with your manager, then I think that in some cases that, would actually be like a beneficial thing to have on the other hand, it, depending on how well, you know, the person and other things like that could cause some people to treat you weirdly and

[00:27:25] Brett: was my concern.

[00:27:26] Christina: want yeah, exactly.

[00:27:27] I would say, cause it might be the right, Um, you know, like decision, but it might not be,

[00:27:33] Brett: I’m not simpatico with my manager. Like we get along.

[00:27:38] Christina: but it’s not that relationship.

[00:27:39] Brett: Yeah. I don’t feel in any way personally connected to him. Uh, I don’t feel like we get each other on a personal level.

[00:27:48] Christina: Right. So in that case, I think that it was a good thing that you opted to. And I would say even regardless, even if it was a thing that you did eventually decide, you wanted to share. I think that it was good that you had the [00:28:00] forethought to be like, you know what, when I’m manic, don’t make these decisions.

[00:28:03] Because even if it is one that you want to make, you should make it, then

[00:28:06] Brett: The benefit would be when I hit like, like severe depression and I spend one to two weeks unable to even like go into my office because it just seems overwhelming and bad. Like it would be nice to be able to honestly convey what was going on. Um, like I can, in those times I can sit through a zoom meeting.

[00:28:32] Um, I can even, like, if you give me a very specific, uh, easily accomplished task, I can do it, but I’m not in a place where I’m going to take like initiative. And some things are going to take longer than usual and being able to just say, Hey, yeah, you remember like two weeks ago when I did like a month worth of work, uh, I need you to recognize that, uh, I’m not going to be working for a week now.

[00:28:59] Christina: Right. [00:29:00] And, and I wonder if like that would be the right time, like when you’re in a depression to maybe have that conversation, um, versus when you’re in a manic state.

[00:29:08] Brett: I just feel like it would go over better and a manic state when I’m flying through work and I’m showing them all this great stuff to tell them at that point, like, here’s, here’s why this great stuff that you love is happening. Uh, and just so you know, in the future, there will be the opposite happening.

[00:29:29] I just feel like it would go over better than it would after like three days of being unresponsive and pissing people off. Then like, then it feels like an excuse instead of a warning.

[00:29:41] Christina: right. Or maybe the best time if you’re going to have a conversation at all is when neither of those things are happening

[00:29:46] Brett: When I’m totally stable.

[00:29:47] Christina: When you’re completely stable.

[00:29:48] and you’re able to say, look, you might have noticed these two things and, and I can be incredibly productive and I can do all this stuff.

[00:29:55] The downside of that is there is also maybe periods where I’m not as [00:30:00] responsive and, um, I’m not as productive. So just to kind of set the standard of what you can expect, which is to me, it would basically kind of be like, Hey, expect the same output of me that you expect from anyone else. Just know that it might be delivered in different ways.

[00:30:16] There might be periods of time when I’m over productive and there might be periods of time when that’s not going to be sustained, but.

[00:30:25] Brett: It’s going to come out eventually. I’m going to have to, if it were to, if I were to be faced with it, like if someone said, Hey, what’s going on? I have no problem with being honest. It’s a matter of whether I’m going to volunteer the information or not.

[00:30:40] Christina: Yeah, no. And I think that that’s a really valid thing cause I’ve certainly, I’ve had both experiences. I’ve had people be very understanding and I’ve had people be very not understanding. And then I’ve also had this fear in the back of my mind, where if you’re too open about it, even if they’re understanding they then mentally decide that they’re not going to give you more things to work [00:31:00] on.

[00:31:00] And they’re, they’re going to try to right. Exactly. I mean, but you know that they’re, they’re going to mentally kind of take on the thing of, oh, we don’t want to give you too many things because we’re trying to help you out.

[00:31:12] Brett: Yeah.

[00:31:13] Christina: So.

[00:31:14] Brett: Yeah. Yeah. It’s, there’s this weird line between understanding and support and, and pity and, uh, treating someone like they’re disabled.

[00:31:26] Christina: Right.

[00:31:27] Brett: Like you can make accommodations, but some certain amounts of like proactive accommodations are unwelcome.

[00:31:35] Christina: I agree. I, 100% agree because sometimes I’m like, I don’t actually want your accommodation. I just want you to have understanding, um, that, you know, this is a reality, I will, I’m an adult and I will take care of things. You know, what’s what I’m going to get done. I’m going to get done. Just know that if I’m telling you that something might be like an issue that, you know, like.

[00:31:58] Brett: This happens in my [00:32:00] relationship too. Like especially, uh, like a couple of days into a manic phase, I become very reclusive and introverted and like, I will sit and code for 12 hours straight. Uh, but like talking to people becomes very difficult. Uh, plus I get super rambly and like, so L when Al is in like a really good emotional place, she.

[00:32:30] Tris or at least she used to like try to do whatever I needed to make it. Okay. And that makes me feel worse. What I really need is two to four. So to have honest communication acknowledge what’s happening, uh, and then be able to just pull back and not feel like I’m damaging anyone else’s life and just getting what I need when I need it.

[00:32:59] And not having [00:33:00] someone try to proactively fix anything. I just, we were really good at it. Now we both have our, our rough, our rough patches, uh, pretty regularly. And sometimes we go through rough patches at the same time, but like we’ve learned to acknowledge, make sure the other person knows that you love them no matter what.

[00:33:20] And then kind of just fuck off and let people deal with their shit.

[00:33:24] Christina: That’s really great.

[00:33:26] Brett: Yeah, we’re doing a podcast right now.

[00:33:28] Christina: Oh, are

[00:33:29] Brett: we haven’t published it yet where we’re doing recordings because over the five years we’ve been together. Like we are very different people that learned new ways to communicate and to be in a relationship, uh, with someone very different.

[00:33:48] We have certain similarities that are very, uh, very strong and, but we figured out ways to communicate and ways to deal with [00:34:00] conflict and, and all of these things that are very, uh, specific to like neurodiverse couples, neurodivergent couples. And, and so we’re doing a podcast. It’ll, it’ll be like short episodes, but we’re just going to talk about things.

[00:34:16] We figured out things, we learned things we’re working on and, uh, and, and just kind of document you ever heard two headed girl.

[00:34:24] Christina: I have not.

[00:34:25] Brett: Uh, Alex Cox and, and Maddie, uh, do you, uh, it it’s a similar format to what they do. Uh, I’ll link it if anyone’s curious, but it’s, uh, uh, uh, a non-binary couple and just, uh, how their relationship works.

[00:34:41] Christina: That’s awesome.

[00:34:42] Brett: Yeah. Alex Cox is awesome. Do you know Alex?

[00:34:45] Christina: I do know Alex? They’re really cool.

[00:34:47] Brett: Oh, she’s in our discord. I think

[00:34:49] Christina: I really.

[00:34:50] Brett: he, they are in our discord. I think, I think, yeah, I’m forgetting pronouns, but

[00:34:57] Christina: yeah, I thought it was there. but I don’t want

[00:34:59] Brett: yeah, I think it’s [00:35:00] there.

[00:35:00] Christina: be incorrect. Yeah.

[00:35:01] Brett: it’s there. Um, anyway, where are we? What’s happening?

[00:35:05] Christina: I don’t know. Do we, do we need to go into a sponsor? Read?

[00:35:07] Sponsor: Sanebox

[00:35:07] Brett: Oh, yeah, let’s do that. Um, uh, email, like when I’m manic, I, I don’t check my email. I totally forget about it. And things pile up. Um, uh, fortunately I have this thing called SaneBox that automatically sorts out all of my unimportant emails. Uh, I think everybody though gets too much email. Um, but how much of it actually warrants a notification or an unread badge on your, in your dot.

[00:35:42] Uh, that’s kind of where SaneBox comes in. You can think of it as an EMT for your email as messages flow in SaneBox does the triage for you sifting only the important emails in your inbox, and then everything else goes into a sane later folder. So when you sit down or your email, you know [00:36:00] exactly which messages you need to pay attention to right then, and then when you have the time and the space and the inclination, you can go through the unimportant stuff.

[00:36:10] Um, it also has nifty features like sane black hole, where you can drag messages from annoying centers. You never want to hear from again. Uh, and then there’s one called sane reminders that, uh, you can have it ping you. If you send an email and you don’t get a reply within a certain period of time, a way to like, be able to send it and forget it, but not lose it.

[00:36:33] Um, and best of all, you can use SaneBox with any email client on any computer or phone anywhere you check your email and I’ve been using it for years. And I recommend it to literally everybody, my entire email workflow is based around it. Uh, one of my favorite features is snooze. Uh, instead of relying on different email apps with their various implementations of snooze, I can create custom mailboxes with [00:37:00] custom timers, like three hours tomorrow or next week.

[00:37:04] And then I just move a message from my inbox or from my same later folder into any one of these folders. And when their timer is up, that the message moves back to my inbox as an unread message. Uh, and this works no matter which male client I’m using. So I get a consistent implementation across everything.

[00:37:22] And in my favorite mail app, MailMate on my Mac. Uh, there is no snooze, so it basically adds news to apps that don’t have it. Um, see how SaneBox can magically remove distractions from your inbox with a free two week trial visit sanebox.com/overtired today to start your free trial and get a $25 credit that’s S a N E B O x.com/overtired.

[00:37:53] Excellent to have you as a sponsor. SaneBox and I seriously do recommend it.

[00:37:58] Christina: Thank you. [00:38:00] SaneBox

[00:38:00] Get Yourself an Icon Designer. And A Housecleaner.

[00:38:00] Brett: You want to know one of the decisions I did make while I was manic?

[00:38:03] Christina: I do. What, what, what did you buy?

[00:38:06] Brett: Uh, I hired, I hired a guy.

[00:38:09]