Season 1 · Episode 231
#231: Why You Can't Love Someone Into Changing
On Attachment · Stephanie Rigg
February 10, 202616m 1s
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Show Notes
In this episode, we explore the belief that if someone truly loved you, they would have changed — and why this story so often keeps people stuck in self-blame, rescuing, and self-abandonment. We look at the saviour complex, how it develops, and why real change has far more to do with timing and capacity than with how lovable or devoted you are.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why “if they loved me, they would’ve changed” is such a convincing story
- How the saviour complex shows up in relationships
- The line between compassion and self-abandonment
- Why people change when they’re ready — not when we love harder
If this resonates, you can register for my free training on healing anxious attachment here.