Off The Hook With Gage

INDICTED? For taking RECORDS AND DOCUMENTS (Birthday Segment notes) home with me from the KXSF studio following the OFF THE HOOK program? * THEY"RE MINE! * And, in my quest to Make Radio Great Again, they're essential! * That's why you'll hear nary a crummy song (I don't think) on today's (or any day's) OFF THE HOOK! * Join your Special Master when you're ready to hear NO CRUMMY SONGS! * Indicted? I should be Knighted!

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE! * Whether at home or in the office, it's time to pack up your workweek starting at 1:00 with OFF THE HOOK! * What constitutes a great preekwend (pre-weekend)? * Well, something FREE for starters, something that ROUSES (makes you move, maybe gets you a little horny), something that goes good with drugs! * Check, Check, Check! * OFF THE HOOK does it all with INCREDIBLE MUSIC and the sparkling repartee of acrobat/MC Gage Kenady! * Like a swashbuckler of the airwaves, the devil-may-care DERRING-DO of this tightrope walker with two left feet will have you on the edge of your seat gnawing nails -will he make it? * Find out and prepare to have your swash buckled on OFF THE HOOK!

Another Friday, another cab fare. * But it's worth my personal expense to keep San Francisco (and the world!) musically educated! * Otherwise, you might veer towards 'publican songs of civil war! * Hey! We have a society here! * The American educational system has clearly failed and critical thinking is all but dead! * You need the facts. * Fact is, you can't think for yourself if you let others do it for you with one-sided viewpoints and misinformation! * Fact is, OFF THE HOOK offers you a BROADER musical palette with options NEWER than those dusty old saber-rattling war songs! * Fact is, OFF THE HOOK comes to you FREE and it's fun!

Well, I've Raided my various Search platforms in Order to Document the latest new Records Released this week and will Unseal Evidence of material that will Warrant your spending three hours with me today! * Just want to Inform you that you will be in Receipt of a Garland of pretty tunes full of Motion that have not been Planted merely to Serve my own self-interests! * Although I feel it would be a bit Déclassé of you to request it, I would gladly sign an Affidavit to this effect in hopes that you will Investigate at least a portion of the fine program I have prepared. * If you don't like it, at least you tried, and I'll have to consider you OFF THE HOOK!

Hang onto your ears because OFF THE HOOK ROCKS YOUR FACE! * Yes, this most UN-CRUMMY weekly program -FOR CHAMPIONS and losers alike- scrapes the MEAT from the bone and shoves it in your cranium, animating a DEPRAVED DANCE that will have your neighbors shuddering behind their shutters! (that's what you like, right?) * Toxic and non-fattening, it's OFF THE HOOK! * Hang on to your face.

n whose shoes do you walk? Only just your own. * On what path do you tread? None before shown. * With quickening steps you boldly go to spy a wilderness unknown. * Up ahead is OFF THE HOOK, whose heart's not made of stone. *A friendly guide to clear the way, the byways it be prone. * So tune in sharp at one o'clock, lest your chance be blown. *At 102.5-FM (KXSF it is known) * It's OFF THE HOOK, the Show That Shows. * Nothing to do with phones!

I like you. * It seems very few actually LISTEN to music anymore. * You're different. * You can't wait to find out WHAT'S NEW in music every week on OFF THE HOOK! * While others are TikTok-ing away, or require only a nostalgic aural wallpaper to soundtrack their mundane social media fabrications, you're in it for a deep dive of contemporary MUSICAL INSPIRATION! * The kind you come to expect on OFF THE HOOK, the Show That Shows you that the wellspring of humanity is PUMPED by the creative impulse! * You'd like for everyone to be so inspired, for a better world. * Tell them, good person: OFF THE HOOK on KXSF 102.5FM / http://kxsf.fm You I like.

How can I describe the WONDERS TO BE HEARD on today's OFF THE HOOK? * I can't. You'll just have to listen! * BUT, I can tell you about The Birthday Segment, where tunes from Stars of Yesteryear will break up the onslaught of TERRIBLY EXCITING new music that won't -just can't!- be heard anywhere but on OFF THE HOOK! * I can tell you, too, that I will be giving away FREE TICKETS, and, if we're LUCKY, we'll be wrapping up with Uncle Gagie's Singles Box! * Well, I, for one, am already feeling satisfied! * It's OFF THE HOOK!

He's back! * It's here! * Are you ready for the 'OFF THE HOOK 10th ANNIVERSARY SHOW!' ? * Yes, THE SHOW THAT SHOWS has been showing you what's what for 10 years! * Can you believe it? * Neither can I! * Just starting to get the hang of this thing and -Phew! -ten years older! * (and TEN YEARS SHARPER! -you should hear some of the first shows) * We'll have Lights! * Streamers! * Dancers! (you) * Popcorn and punch! * And the BEST DOGGONE MUSIC, as has been our mission lo these many years! * Please join us for this inexplicable anniversary!

BREATHTAKING in its scope, HARD-HITTING in its approach, OFF THE HOOK is not for the mild-mannered easy chair set! * With MIND-BOGGLING new music mined from the coalface of the contemporary scene, OFF THE HOOK presents BURNING NUGGETS of sound cut straight from the Rock! * Not for namby-pamby Sunday spelunkers, OFF THE HOOK takes you on a DEEP DIVE into the depths of the underground for a program SO HOT you might burn your face! * Accept the challenge!

WE'VE GOT OLDIES! * Yes, OFF THE HOOK PLAYS (a few) GOOD OLD SONGS OF YESTERYEAR (after you've consumed a healthy portion of current releases)! * RE-LIVE THE GLORIOUS PAST WHEN MUSIC WAS GOOD (mostly songs you're not familiar with)! * BATHE IN THE NOSTALGIC GLOW OF TIMES LESS COMPLICATED (because you're simple?)! * REVEL FOR A MOMENT IN THE CLASSIC SOUNDS OF YOUR YOUTH (then it's right back to strikingly-new material, chum)! * OFF THE HOOK: EVER LOOKING BACKWARD (over my dead body)!

Because young people need to be told THE TRUTH about new music * Because old people need to GET WITH IT * OFF THE HOOK: Improving society, supporting creative artistry.

It can be lonely being AHEAD OF THE CURVE, but while my dearth of "Likes" is my Badge of Honor, I still request your company and urge you to accept the OPPORTUNITY I offer to avail yourselves of the SPECIALLY CURATED programming I bestow upon you clueless mass! * In one fell swoop (three hours), you become UP-TO-DATE and no social media scenester or influencer can take that away from you! * They will hit a brick wall when it comes to telling you what's what after you've listened to OFF THE HOOK! * NO WACK TRACKS!

RADIO FOR MUSOS! * Still listening to old favorites? * Why, when your NEW FAVORITE SONGS await you on OFF THE HOOK? * Think how impressed your friends will be when you drop the names of UNBELIEVABLY FANTASTIC songs by INCREDIBLE NEW artists they've never heard of! * (those would be your square friends who don't already listen to OFF THE HOOK) * Prestige is one thing, but sharing gets you into Heaven! * Hip your friends to The Show That Shows, OFF THE HOOK!

Pardner, I wouldn't want people laughing behind your back because you're not UP TO DATE with the LATEST SOUNDS. * Surely you can spare a measly three hours to listen to OFF THE HOOK, a show presenting the most MAGNIFICENT (sometimes just BEST) NEW MUSIC on the dial and in the stream! * We've got OLDIES for the NOSTALGIC (in the "Birthday Segment") and INFO for the CURIOUS! * OFF THE HOOK: for your own betterment!

ATTENTION! * Parts of OFF THE HOOK may make you feel uncomfortable! * That's good! * It shows you've been KNOCKED OUT of the complacency you've allowed yourself to be lulled into! * Your reaction to the STIMULATING programming of OFF THE HOOK affirms that you are ALIVE and thinking! * Congratulations! * Isn't it great to feel something?

Today's OFF THE HOOK is going to be a MOTHER with EARTHy and unearthly delights co-existing peacefully in a sustainable Environment (we hope) of mutual crust! * The OFF THE HOOK eco-system is ALIVE and thriving, planting NEW SEEDS of musical inspiration in our three-hour orbit! * The Florist of your musical Forest, OFF THE HOOK puts the ardor in your Arbor, so join us -PLAN IT! *

A good Friday with Flappy.

Good Friday, everyone! * But, whoever said TAX DAY is good? * Well, with a program of EXCITING new music selected especially for you, OFF THE HOOK says just that! * The only true certainty In the impermanent world of OFF THE HOOK is LIFE and the living, thriving sounds presented today shall be testament to that! * Plus, we do Birthdays. * File in and return to OFF THE HOOK! * It shouldn't be too taxing.

GRABBING YOU BY THE EARS until you cry "Uncle! I love it!", OFF THE HOOK may shake you all around, but never shakes you down! * This is FREE RADIO! * Hear what tries to be kept hid by greedy corporate radio goons from a sweet (sarcastic, smarmy, stumbling) and benevolent presenter who knows what's good for you! * To recap: FREE: costs you nothing but your time and mind! * SWEET: but never treacly! * Shake: SHAKE, RATTLE AND BLOW UP with OFF THE HOOK!

Tune in NOW for a Special remote broadcast live from Miami where Gage interviews The Chargers in their secret locker room on the eve of their new dawn! * We'll also hear wrestling 'n' laundry tips from MASTER chef Rudy Giuliani ! * AND animal poets of the Klondikes! * You'd be a fool not to miss this yeah yeah yeah edition of OFF THE HOOK!

I was tooling down the mean streets of San Francisco and flipped on the FM. * What I heard was so APPALLING, I realized that the reports I had heard were true: the state of local radio is UTTERLY ATROCIOUS! * I was about to FLIP OFF the radio when, like a GLEAMING BEACON from the heavens, I came upon 102.5, otherwise known as KXSF! * The power with which this BENEVOLENT RADIANCE hit me belied its paltry 2 Watts and I knew there was hope yet for the otherwise unfortunate denizens of our fair city! * RAH-RAH RADIO! * A particularly NOURISHING OASIS in the radio wasteland is the OFF THE HOOK program!

PLUMBING THE DEPTHS, one encounters the Umbrella Mouth Gulper Eel. * He's OFF THE HOOK and heading for you! * He flies through the Air! He slinks through the Stream! He looks like a stiletto heel and his bite brings wisdom and bliss! * Hear what he brings from the deep. * Catch him on the OFF THE HOOK program. * Plumb the depths with us.

HEY, GOOD LOOKIN'! * When I see someone so SHARP and well-appointed looking at their watch, I know I'm dealing with a FIERCELY INTELLIGENT individual with IMPECCABLE TASTE counting down the minutes to OFF THE HOOK! * A person ahead of the curve who enjoys a ROLLICKING GOOD TIME while sampling tomorrow's menu of musical mayhem today! * Someone whose shrewd discernment can only be sated by the SAGACIOUS SOUNDS on OFF THE HOOK! * Other people like it, too!

OFF THE HOOK: spiffy, with-it sounds for NOW people! * A SEXY, diverse and CONTROVERSIAL "water-cooler show" bringing lashing tongues and flying fists that end in harmonious hugs at the thankfulness shared for such a GODSEND! * This week your host brings not only the HAPPENINGEST hits for the hippest heads, but also a Tribute to the iconic vocalist of the MOST ICONIC "A Whiter Shade Of Pale", Procol Harum's GARY BROOKER (R.I.P.)! * It's OFF THE HOOK!