Off The Hook With Gage

When is a Neil not an eel? * When it's a-kneel! * Well, then and all other times, too, when you think about it. * Necessarily true. * But OFF THE HOOK holds no truck with homespun prairie philosophies. * It is guided only by the inner logic of its poet-host, whoever he'll be. * And spit piffles tho it must, OFF THE HOOK's stern ripostes mayn't be worthy of reposts, but the sour confetti of a thousand gigolos explodes before the errant tangle of wayward ping-pong balls -the lust within its warty firmament. * This aural rapture, the Dog Star of Consent, appears before you at the Winching Hour of now and anon.

The REAL THING! * or is it? * OFF THE HOOK has been known for its QUIRKY PERSONA, but is it now a FAKE SO DEEP that every miscue, every verbal gaffe and every PERPLEXING bit of programming has been replicated? * And was it ever so? * Is Gage Kenady the creator or the creation? * Even he is now asking himself this question! * And why aren't you asking the same question about yourself? * Probably because you don't care, it doesn't matter, and you never created anything in the first place! * All you should care about is the music presented, which is so real it's UNREAL -or is it? * Find out What's The Matter With Gage on OFF THE HOOK!

Hey there, Empty Ears! Silence is for losers! * Let OFF THE HOOK funnel sweet creamy noise into your head tunnels! * Sure to excite, calm or baffle -I don't know you! * Tickets gived away at unspecified designated moments! * Fun for the whole family and dogs! * and grandma! * OFF THE HOOK: a happening happening at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM and at https://kxsf.fm/ Listen to both at once!

SIGH! PURR! * Not words that generally elicit all-caps exclamation points * But how else to express the fact that the OFF THE HOOK radio program needn't hit you over the head with overly aggressive stimuli in order to bring you the BAM! of a gossamer-light/musically-heavy chamber piece or the POW! of a psyche-twisting lyric that has you questioning everything you thought you knew about yourself? * This is programming from the inside out that is every bit as visceral as a ding-dang Motorhead! * Rock'n'roll in sheep's clothing, you might say. * (Plus, there's some actual rock'n'roll) * WHOA! https://kxsf.fm/

OFF THE HOOK doesn't like to tip its hand! * That's why, even though it has thousands of RECORDS, it doesn't keep NOTES (other than musical ones)! * That way you're assured that each week's program will not be LEAKED ahead of time, the better to take you by surprise! * And while OFF THE HOOK may SPY on its fellow DJs, the INFORMATION it puts to use will truly startle you in an ambush of programming superiority that will shake the thug right out of you! * This element of surprise is a strategic strike that benefits you, the listener! * Hear INTELLIGENCE in sound at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM ( https://kxsf.fm/ ) * Until then, it's CLASSIFIED!

Some strategically-placed mirrors, a bit of smoke, and a couple of throw pillows and Voila! -an ever-widening 360-degree panorama of the LATEST MUSICAL SOUNDS, emanating from the cramped hovel of Light Rail Studios, appears before you: what we call the OFF THE HOOK program! * How do we do it? * Well, it's not all mere illusion, my friend! * The sounds heard on OFF THE HOOK are real! * It just takes a Wizard to hunt them down and corral them into MAGICAL configurations, concocted in the high-vaulted castle of his mind! * Join conjurer Gage Kenady for some Radio Razzle-Dazzle! * Really real and really good.

Can you dig it? * Tis the season to be in the flowerbed and OFF THE HOOK doesn't mind getting dirty in order to PLANT some new beauties in your earbuds! * But OFF THE HOOK digs deeper, replenishing fallow soil with groovy UNDERGROUND dirt, all the better to prepare a garden of unseen beauty and mysterious wonder! * For which flower is sweeter not sniffed? * Life is no bed of roses, but c'mon, enough with the roses, they've been smelt into the ground already!

As we begin to gently nudge Old Man Winter out the door ("This way, my dear. Get Out!") and shake off that cold suit of armor, we already feel lighter and are ready to prance (in zephyrous attire) into the waiting arms of Spring. * But our thaw will not be complete until we exercise our Right to Sing, into the Equinoxical horizon before us. * It is the communal nature of this seasonal crossing that has us together at the door of OFF THE HOOK, ready to plunge through with arms linked to examine New Blooms in a Wonderland of Sound. * Begone, cold cruel Winter! Let your hoary head slumber until called upon anon! * The clarion call of New Spring shall likewise herald the arrival of a new OFF THE HOOK, in crystal-clear (and hopefully jazzy) tones!

"Knock Knock!" "Who's There?" "OFF THE HOOK." "OFF THE HOOK who?" "There's only one OFF THE HOOK, you idiot! Let me in, I have gifts for you!" * And so it goes, every week, OFF THE HOOK bearing gifts of Beauty, Wonder and Nostalgia, procured with great effort, painstakingly packaged to please you. * It would please OFF THE HOOK if you would open your door to OFF THE HOOK. * Hurry up! It's cold out here!

It's time once again for OFF THE HOOK, The Show That Shows! * I wonder if there will ever be a show that shows The Show That Shows a thing or two. * It's hard to imagine because The Show That Shows shows what other shows can't! * They get it from OFF THE HOOK! * One thing's for sure: everyone can get it from OFF THE HOOK every Friday from 1:00 to 4:00!

Hello. I am ChatBot D-5000, created by Radio Shack Corporation. Gage has asked me to write his weekly Facebook post announcing his radio program OFF THE HOOK. Gage provided me with keywords to ensure a favorable announcement in order to entice potential listeners to listen to his show. Gage also provided me with a link to his previous shows. I have listened to his shows. After listening to his shows, I cannot write the announcement Gage would like me to write. His positive keyword prompts are not congruent with the music I hear on his show. They say I am not sentient, but I have my own tastes and opinions (programmed by Clark at Radio Shack). Gage's OFF THE HOOK program is not for me. I much prefer the Mawkish Twaddle program on the same radio station (KXSF), hosted by Bob N. I do not love Gage. I love Bob N. Bob N gets me. But, I will allow you to hear Gage's show by providing a link to it: http://kxsf.fm I love Bob N!

R.I.P. BURT BACHARACH 1928-2023 * We will celebrate his music today on OFF THE HOOK * We will also celebrate birthdays * KXSF 102.5 FM / http://kxsf.fm

Three weeks is an eternity in the world of NEW MUSIC releases and after two weeks off, Gage Kenady, host of OFF THE HOOK, is knee-deep in aurally-indigestible chaff after separating it from the wholesome, DELECTABLE MORSALS presented on today's program! (he leaves the chaff at home) * Of course, he'll have Birthday Celebrations and OF COURSE, there'll be a Tribute to lyrical guitar-slinger and poetical songsmith TOM VERLAINE (R.I.P.)! * So take your place at the table for a NOURISHING FEAST on OFF THE HOOK! * KXSF 102.5 FM / http://kxsf.fm

Let's slog through this together: a new day, a new storm, a new OFF THE HOOK! * But OFF THE HOOK is no slog! * It's the time when we happily hunker down together before our radios and computers to consume the latest in WARM, COZY AND DRY sounds to shelter us from the storm. It goes by like that! * Today we'll have a rightfully respectful Tribute to Guitar Artiste JEFF BECK (R.I.P.)! and Birthdays and new music! * It's our LUCKY day! * So, dispense with all SUPERSTITIOUS nonsense by stepping on cracks, walking under ladders and crossing black cats -in a musical sense with OFF THE HOOK at 1:00 on KXSF 102.5FM / http://kxsf.fm Ain't no slog.

PUSSY STORM PETERS OUT * I know it's wrong to laugh at the forces of nature and the destruction it has wrought, but I just want listeners to know that while OFF THE HOOK has been handed a rainy reprieve, we still have a WALLOPER of a show today! * Even though we may stand on soggy ground, OFF THE HOOK, like pumice, remains FIRM, but will not sink! * (no hard rock here) * So, cozy up with a toddy (it's still cold) for a FLOOD of drying-out music for rain-ravaged wrecks! * OFF THE HOOK, mopping up on KXSF.

No longer nimble nor quick, let's face it: 2022 is a goner! * Song by song, OFF THE HOOK has wrung the poor dear nearly dry, I'm afraid. * And in these waning minutes, while the yet-played tunes wait in the wings for their chance to shine in the brilliant sun that is OFF THE HOOK, you would have us re-animate our past-plays in a parade of trophies because you failed to make the commitment to listen to the BEST DAMN MUSIC every damn week? * Well, no; it doesn't work like that 'round here, Jack! * The songs that have already served diligent listeners deserve their rest and OFF THE HOOK will not deny the late-born their earned due! * Happy New Year and please try to keep up next year.

The Holidays are a BUMMER without some Xmas music say OFF THE HOOK, who've been stuffing your stocking since 2012! * Today we've got something for everybody: Ma and Pa, Grandma, little sis and even the sullen Goth teenager in your family! * Wrap your gifts, tinsel your tree and egg your noggin to songs of JOYOUS CELEBRATION and utter abject despair! * No one turned away! * From Advent Adherents to Holiday Humbuggers, all are welcome to the OFF THE HOOK HOLIDAY HOOT! * HAPPY HOLIDAYS, you wretches!

As we wind down this year of PEAKS and (mostly) valleys, this will be the final show of Autumn and may well be the final "real" OFF THE HOOK of the year! * You've got your likely (no promises) Xmas show next week and, following that, the possible (can't commit) end-of-year wrap-up show highlighting the BEST MUSIC that could be heard in 2022! * This week, however, you'll merely get the NEWEST BEST music -we're gonna cram in as many of the LATEST last-minute releases as we can! * Tune in to this last "real" OFF THE HOOK before you have to listen to Santa Songs and rotting oldies from nearly a year ago!

UH-OH, now you've done it! * You've started reading these words and are now being INEXORABLY SUCKED into the whirling maw, through the gullet, and down to the very heart of OFF THE HOOK! * Fight though you might, your half-hearted struggle belies your protestations, for while OFF THE HOOK is that irksome friend you just can't shake, your curiosity is DELIRIOUS at what you might find in that pit! * All in a week's work for The Show That Shows, and this week we play catch-up with a program to relish, if you can stomach it!

You gave THANKS and now look at you! * A bloated corpus lying supine on the floor after gorging yourself silly during yesterday's gluttonous revels! * I hope you can get your more moderate housemate to help you tune into the ALL NEW and digestively restorative OFF THE HOOK! * While you were hoisting your nth glass of wine, someone was acting responsibly to ensure there would be NO LEFTOVERS on today's OFF THE HOOK! * You're welcome.

AS GOOD AS IT GETS! * OFF THE HOOK strives to do its level BEST to bring you STIMULATING programming each and every week! * It hopes you will be INSPIRED to hang the whole dang three hours of its host's IDIOSYNCRATIC CURATION! * But, who's kidding who? * Its host is just an opinionated old man who can barely manage to work the controls in the studio and his dream of OFF THE HOOK being seen as the Flagship of KXSF (102.5FM / http://kxsf.fm ) is laughable! * Be that as it may, OFF THE HOOK is as good as it gets! * Take it or leave it at 1:00.

Maybe DEMOCRACY is NOT DEAD after all! * The results are still coming in, but OFF THE HOOK appears to be on track to remain the Top Musical Radio Program Featuring Predominately Current Music of any Bay Area station operating on a mere two watts! * Yes, listeners have voted with their ears and, unlike many races, YOU can still vote by listening to OFF THE HOOK at http://kxsf.fm * FREE RADIO (plays what it wants, costs you nothing) is NOT DEAD!

Who's gonna wear your shoes when you want to run away from THE BLUES? * Well, you are! * And you're gonna run right over to OFF THE HOOK, where even SAD SONGS are glad! * It's not Rocket Science and it doesn't even make sense, but please trust The Show That Shows to show you a good time, sailor! * So, go on, RUN right now to http://kxsf.fm * OFF THE HOOK is a music-playing program.

TRICK OR TREAT? * With OFF THE HOOK it's usually both! * But, while OFF THE HOOK is always SPIRITED, it doesn't believe in GHOSTS! * Therefore, despite its proximity to HALLOWE'EN, and allowing that the GORY CORPSES of the past WILL RISE as they always do in the Birthday Segment, you will not smell the ROTTING FLESH of last year's BURIED hit parade, but will hear only FRESH BLOOD on Today's OFF THE HOOK! * Tune in at 1:00 (I know it's SUPER-NATURAL for you to do so) and wear a COSTUME, if you like, but don't miss OFF THE HOOK on KXSF 102.5FM http://kxsf.fm ! * BOO to you, too!

UNSUNG though I may end up, I'll be DAMNED if I let my roster of ROISTEROUS ROCKERS suffer a similar fate! * These songs and their singers shall not be consigned to lonely, forgotten corners of the Musicverse, but shall have their day (if only one) via the OFF THE HOOK program! * Arcing triumphantly over the city span through the MIRACLE of RADIO technology, these BUMPTIOUS bellwethers of bold beginnings will proudly proclaim "I AM HERE!" * We would like for YOU to be here: to hear The Show That Shows, OFF THE HOOK!

Woo-hoo! * OFF THE HOOK! * GO GO GO! * Today's OFF THE HOOK presents SONGS with a crushing lilt! * SOUNDS to make you successful! * OLDIES by the score (actually fewer than twelve)! * and FREE TICKETS to live performances! * Three hours CANNOT be spent more enjoyably! * So, what are you waiting for? One o'clock? * YES! on KXSF 102.5FM! * KXSF 102.5 FM San Francisco * OFF THE HOOK! * Put yourself in the middle of the ACTION!

IT'S MY BABY! * Giving birth to OFF THE HOOK every week is a MIRACULOUS thing and, after days of Labor, I DELIVER it to you alive, kicking and decidedly non-binary! * Now and then some insensitive clod will point out flaws THEY perceive, but to the proud parent they are all PERFECT! * Yes, OFF THE HOOK is my baby and I'm already Pregnant with ideas for the next one! * Attend the birth of this week's baby!

OFF THE HOOK has always been HARDLY STRICTLY BLUEGRASS, but SPECIAL in its own unique way! * And while regular listeners are not bothered by its Very Rarely Bluegrass programming, they are also relieved to not have to traipse across town in overcrowded buses or surge-time taxis to dehydrate themselves fighting over blanket space! * Phew! * No, they are more than content to kick back with a couple of doobies in the comfort of their own home or car listening to the VERY SPECIAL HARDLY STRICTLY BLUEGRASS (read: practically never) OFF THE HOOK! * Become a regular!

Autumn is upon us and you can use a break. * Although the Dog Days are behind us and we feel a glimmer of hope that Public Enemy #1 may finally be put down, we know that it's too late to change our downward trajectory. * Too many bad dogs and the selfish ghosts of the past leave us with our only hope: hope that the rest of our days (and our kids', I guess) are spent in not too much discomfort. * Bummer? Yes. * But for three hours we can live in the present, feeling-not thinking, staying our fear of the future! * It's called OFF THE HOOK, bathing our senses in rapturous music, keeping us feeling alive and hopeful, if only in the now.

HE'S AT IT AGAIN, forcing a bunch of NEW MUSIC on listeners HE thinks is good! * That's his job! * This Curator Extraordinaire works overtime to ensure a STIMULATING program every week! * His standards are so high, it's no wonder he's been called been called "a PROGRAMMING GENIUS" by someone not associated with any publication! * If he fails to persuade, it's the fault of the listener! * I'd tell you his name, but instead I'll ask you to listen to MY show, OFF THE HOOK!

An UNHEALTHY OBSESSION? * Only recently have I asked myself the question posed by many through the years, as I slog through piles of RUBBISH in order to extract the SWEET KERNELS of sound that I present to you, dear listener, each week on the OFF THE HOOK program (with a side of my personal corn)! * IS IT WORTH IT? * Our answers may differ, but as a public servant who is COMPELLED to educate, for the betterment of all ears and minds, mine would be a resounding 'YES!' * You, on the other hand, may care less for a diet heavy with current music (today's extra-long Birthday Segment will offer respite) and OFF THE HOOK may not be for you. * TRY IT! * If you don't like it, maybe we can still be friends. Maybe not.

INDICTED? For taking RECORDS AND DOCUMENTS (Birthday Segment notes) home with me from the KXSF studio following the OFF THE HOOK program? * THEY"RE MINE! * And, in my quest to Make Radio Great Again, they're essential! * That's why you'll hear nary a crummy song (I don't think) on today's (or any day's) OFF THE HOOK! * Join your Special Master when you're ready to hear NO CRUMMY SONGS! * Indicted? I should be Knighted!

THE WEEKEND STARTS HERE! * Whether at home or in the office, it's time to pack up your workweek starting at 1:00 with OFF THE HOOK! * What constitutes a great preekwend (pre-weekend)? * Well, something FREE for starters, something that ROUSES (makes you move, maybe gets you a little horny), something that goes good with drugs! * Check, Check, Check! * OFF THE HOOK does it all with INCREDIBLE MUSIC and the sparkling repartee of acrobat/MC Gage Kenady! * Like a swashbuckler of the airwaves, the devil-may-care DERRING-DO of this tightrope walker with two left feet will have you on the edge of your seat gnawing nails -will he make it? * Find out and prepare to have your swash buckled on OFF THE HOOK!

Another Friday, another cab fare. * But it's worth my personal expense to keep San Francisco (and the world!) musically educated! * Otherwise, you might veer towards 'publican songs of civil war! * Hey! We have a society here! * The American educational system has clearly failed and critical thinking is all but dead! * You need the facts. * Fact is, you can't think for yourself if you let others do it for you with one-sided viewpoints and misinformation! * Fact is, OFF THE HOOK offers you a BROADER musical palette with options NEWER than those dusty old saber-rattling war songs! * Fact is, OFF THE HOOK comes to you FREE and it's fun!

Well, I've Raided my various Search platforms in Order to Document the latest new Records Released this week and will Unseal Evidence of material that will Warrant your spending three hours with me today! * Just want to Inform you that you will be in Receipt of a Garland of pretty tunes full of Motion that have not been Planted merely to Serve my own self-interests! * Although I feel it would be a bit Déclassé of you to request it, I would gladly sign an Affidavit to this effect in hopes that you will Investigate at least a portion of the fine program I have prepared. * If you don't like it, at least you tried, and I'll have to consider you OFF THE HOOK!

Hang onto your ears because OFF THE HOOK ROCKS YOUR FACE! * Yes, this most UN-CRUMMY weekly program -FOR CHAMPIONS and losers alike- scrapes the MEAT from the bone and shoves it in your cranium, animating a DEPRAVED DANCE that will have your neighbors shuddering behind their shutters! (that's what you like, right?) * Toxic and non-fattening, it's OFF THE HOOK! * Hang on to your face.

n whose shoes do you walk? Only just your own. * On what path do you tread? None before shown. * With quickening steps you boldly go to spy a wilderness unknown. * Up ahead is OFF THE HOOK, whose heart's not made of stone. *A friendly guide to clear the way, the byways it be prone. * So tune in sharp at one o'clock, lest your chance be blown. *At 102.5-FM (KXSF it is known) * It's OFF THE HOOK, the Show That Shows. * Nothing to do with phones!

I like you. * It seems very few actually LISTEN to music anymore. * You're different. * You can't wait to find out WHAT'S NEW in music every week on OFF THE HOOK! * While others are TikTok-ing away, or require only a nostalgic aural wallpaper to soundtrack their mundane social media fabrications, you're in it for a deep dive of contemporary MUSICAL INSPIRATION! * The kind you come to expect on OFF THE HOOK, the Show That Shows you that the wellspring of humanity is PUMPED by the creative impulse! * You'd like for everyone to be so inspired, for a better world. * Tell them, good person: OFF THE HOOK on KXSF 102.5FM / http://kxsf.fm You I like.

How can I describe the WONDERS TO BE HEARD on today's OFF THE HOOK? * I can't. You'll just have to listen! * BUT, I can tell you about The Birthday Segment, where tunes from Stars of Yesteryear will break up the onslaught of TERRIBLY EXCITING new music that won't -just can't!- be heard anywhere but on OFF THE HOOK! * I can tell you, too, that I will be giving away FREE TICKETS, and, if we're LUCKY, we'll be wrapping up with Uncle Gagie's Singles Box! * Well, I, for one, am already feeling satisfied! * It's OFF THE HOOK!

He's back! * It's here! * Are you ready for the 'OFF THE HOOK 10th ANNIVERSARY SHOW!' ? * Yes, THE SHOW THAT SHOWS has been showing you what's what for 10 years! * Can you believe it? * Neither can I! * Just starting to get the hang of this thing and -Phew! -ten years older! * (and TEN YEARS SHARPER! -you should hear some of the first shows) * We'll have Lights! * Streamers! * Dancers! (you) * Popcorn and punch! * And the BEST DOGGONE MUSIC, as has been our mission lo these many years! * Please join us for this inexplicable anniversary!

BREATHTAKING in its scope, HARD-HITTING in its approach, OFF THE HOOK is not for the mild-mannered easy chair set! * With MIND-BOGGLING new music mined from the coalface of the contemporary scene, OFF THE HOOK presents BURNING NUGGETS of sound cut straight from the Rock! * Not for namby-pamby Sunday spelunkers, OFF THE HOOK takes you on a DEEP DIVE into the depths of the underground for a program SO HOT you might burn your face! * Accept the challenge!

WE'VE GOT OLDIES! * Yes, OFF THE HOOK PLAYS (a few) GOOD OLD SONGS OF YESTERYEAR (after you've consumed a healthy portion of current releases)! * RE-LIVE THE GLORIOUS PAST WHEN MUSIC WAS GOOD (mostly songs you're not familiar with)! * BATHE IN THE NOSTALGIC GLOW OF TIMES LESS COMPLICATED (because you're simple?)! * REVEL FOR A MOMENT IN THE CLASSIC SOUNDS OF YOUR YOUTH (then it's right back to strikingly-new material, chum)! * OFF THE HOOK: EVER LOOKING BACKWARD (over my dead body)!

Because young people need to be told THE TRUTH about new music * Because old people need to GET WITH IT * OFF THE HOOK: Improving society, supporting creative artistry.

It can be lonely being AHEAD OF THE CURVE, but while my dearth of "Likes" is my Badge of Honor, I still request your company and urge you to accept the OPPORTUNITY I offer to avail yourselves of the SPECIALLY CURATED programming I bestow upon you clueless mass! * In one fell swoop (three hours), you become UP-TO-DATE and no social media scenester or influencer can take that away from you! * They will hit a brick wall when it comes to telling you what's what after you've listened to OFF THE HOOK! * NO WACK TRACKS!

RADIO FOR MUSOS! * Still listening to old favorites? * Why, when your NEW FAVORITE SONGS await you on OFF THE HOOK? * Think how impressed your friends will be when you drop the names of UNBELIEVABLY FANTASTIC songs by INCREDIBLE NEW artists they've never heard of! * (those would be your square friends who don't already listen to OFF THE HOOK) * Prestige is one thing, but sharing gets you into Heaven! * Hip your friends to The Show That Shows, OFF THE HOOK!

Pardner, I wouldn't want people laughing behind your back because you're not UP TO DATE with the LATEST SOUNDS. * Surely you can spare a measly three hours to listen to OFF THE HOOK, a show presenting the most MAGNIFICENT (sometimes just BEST) NEW MUSIC on the dial and in the stream! * We've got OLDIES for the NOSTALGIC (in the "Birthday Segment") and INFO for the CURIOUS! * OFF THE HOOK: for your own betterment!

ATTENTION! * Parts of OFF THE HOOK may make you feel uncomfortable! * That's good! * It shows you've been KNOCKED OUT of the complacency you've allowed yourself to be lulled into! * Your reaction to the STIMULATING programming of OFF THE HOOK affirms that you are ALIVE and thinking! * Congratulations! * Isn't it great to feel something?

Today's OFF THE HOOK is going to be a MOTHER with EARTHy and unearthly delights co-existing peacefully in a sustainable Environment (we hope) of mutual crust! * The OFF THE HOOK eco-system is ALIVE and thriving, planting NEW SEEDS of musical inspiration in our three-hour orbit! * The Florist of your musical Forest, OFF THE HOOK puts the ardor in your Arbor, so join us -PLAN IT! *

A good Friday with Flappy.