Not The Wifey Type: The Podcast

Podcaster and business strategist Christine Job talks moving abroad as an avenue to more options, building community as an expat and things seldom mentioned in conversations about finding love in a new place.

Building onto last week's episode, in this interview we discuss Dr. Nikki Coleman's experiences doing couples therapy. Oftentimes she witnesses Black women overcompensating for their male partners' lack of empathy, accountability, emotional intelligence, etc. We talk about the toll this takes on both women and men as well as what this could mean for your intimate connections. Show notes: https://wp.me/p8IkFe-rt

Surprise! I'm finally back for the rest of season 4. Find out what kept me away, what I learned from going viral in the meantime and what's in store for this season. Show notes: https://wp.me/p8IkFe-rl

Kicking off season 4 with a conversation with my mama! Get to know more about the lady responsible for the lady behind Not The Wifey Type. Welcome back and Happy Mother's Day!

Last episode of the season!!! Just in time for the New Year in case you need to give someone the gift of goodbye, I talked with breakup coach Daphne McGee about what it was like being in an abusive relationship, how women are conditioned not to trust ourselves and what to do when you think you want to leave. Four ways I'd love for you to support the show while it's on break and/or be informed when it returns: 1. Rate and review on apple podcasts! 2. Sign up the the mailing list here: www.notthewifeytype.com/links (I do not spam folks!) 3. Follow me on IG @notthewifeytype 4. Complete this survey which will help me make future seasons even better! https://hello864601.typeform.com/to/ptGZgVTb Love you! Mean it!

Moya Bailey, coiner of the term "misogynoir," speaks on anti-Black misogyny in different contexts, her 2021 book Misogynoir Transformed: Black Women's Digital Resistance, and why it's important to center queer and trans Black women.

Licensed therapist, love addiction expert and creator of Black Girls Heal Shena Tubbs joins me to talk about what led her to create a space for healing from unhealthy love practices. She talks about her own experiences with love addiction and explains how some of the ways we've learned to love are a result of trauma.

In the last solo episode of the season, I talk about discovering how ill-equipped I was for dating and the lessons I've learned along the way. Referenced article: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2021/11/10720237/single-black-women-love-decolonized

Youtuber Oh! Stephco talks about the reaction to her viral video about pretty privilege, why taking a break from (online) dating was necessary and what it means that she may never be partnered.

I sat down with the co-founder of Femmebnb, Yaa Birago, to discuss our experiences as Black women solo travelers. She shares what she's done to overcome challenges and how she wants to make solo travel safer and easier for other women. To stay up to date on the travel memoir and other forthcoming projects, sign up for the email list here: notthewifeytype.com/links

Jazmine Karess of the Listen to Your Single Friend podcast joins me to talk about nigcels, why they want to scare you out of being single and what insights help us to remember that "single" is not the threat they think it is.

Solo episode where I talk about BBLs from a sociological perspective and as a person who has had one. I offer another way to think about the procedure beyond the usual sensationalism and clarify 3 popular misconceptions. If you're interested in a Q&A episode where I answer specific questions about my personal BBL experience, use this link to ask me anything you want anonymously. Deadline to submit questions is Halloween (10/31): https://hello864601.typeform.com/to/basXjD9y

Sales copywriter and storyteller Rita Olds discusses the challenges of stepping into her authentic self. She details how leaving the marriage that wasn't what she really wanted sent her back home to herself, why she only works with Black women and what to expect when you start choosing you.

Welcome back to season 3 of the show! The first episode is a topic that I needed to get off my chest and it's exactly what it sounds like in the title. I detail 6 reasons why I don't plan to be a mother. Don't miss updates when new things start happening! Sign up for the Not The Wifey Type mailing list here under the "Join the Community" section: http://www.notthewifeytype.com/links/ Receipts: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/12/most-parents-and-many-non-parents-dont-expect-to-have-kids-in-the-future/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-5-americans-time-at-paid-work-housework-child-care-1965-to-2011/ https://srh.bmj.com/content/45/1/61 https://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/2006-10MultiplePartnerFertility.pdf https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/reports/2020/08/03/488536/basic-facts-women-poverty/ https://www.childtrends.org/publications/dramatic-increase-in-percentage-of-births-outside-marriage-among-whites-hispanics-and-women-with-higher-education-levels https://www.shrm.org/about-shrm/press-room/press-releases/pages/new-shrm-research-shows-employers-offering-paid-leave-has-increased.aspx

On the last episode of the season I sat down with youtuber and expat Tiffanie Davis, who has made a life in Paris. We discuss cultural differences, microaggressions, perks and even the pitfalls of being abroad during a pandemic.

On the last solo episode of the season I talk about how desperation and the fear of dying alone can lead to Black women's exploitation. I end by calling into question what it actually means to "die alone."

Creator of Blunt Blowin' Mama Shonitria Anthony talks about her efforts to normalize cannabis use for moms who look like her.

This week we're rewinding to the most popular episode yet! A conversation between myself and guest Lauren Fannin about how we learned/unlearned to struggle in love, what compromises Black women may have to make to be with Black men and why we still collectively cling to struggle love.

In this solo episode I talk about why the concept of "good men" is problematic and make a case for what we should actually be calling men.

In this solo episode I discuss where imposter syndrome comes from, why I think the phrase is problematic and how I've managed the feelings when they pop up.

Dayna Lynn Nuckolls joins me to talk about the idea of taking marriage beyond strictly romantic and/or sexual relationships to ultimately benefit women. We talk about the pitfalls of the institution as it is currently accepted and the freedom that can come when one chooses not to organize their life around finding that one unicorn. Some fact checks: On interracial marriage rates http://pewrsr.ch/3tOMh2f On IPV rates: https://bit.ly/3u0Vt3I

Financial Strategist Star Melancon and I discuss money topics we missed out on as kids. She shares info on changing your relationship to money, how to make it work for you and where to start with investing if you don't have a lot to risk. She also breaks down what was happening in the GameStop/stock market melee.

Founder of the Yeaux Mama clothing line talks about when she realized she was trying to save everyone but herself and how she overcame it. I also got her to share a heaux tale from her past and her plans for her next Heaux Tales project.

Jackie, owner of Spice Pole and Aerial Fitness joins me to talk about our journeys to reconnecting with our bodies through pole and sensual dance. We discuss the power of tapping into your sensuality and she shares the risk she took in starting her own studio.

In the second part of the conversation with D. Danyelle Thomas of Unfit Christian we discuss what manifestation really means (to us, anyway) and what many understandings of manifestation are missing. She talks about the impact of blackness and different types of manifestors.

In part one of this conversation, D. Danyelle Thomas of Unfit Christian explains how traditional teachings of the Black church can deter Black women from having the lives we deserve. In this episode we unpack beliefs we grew up having around sex and subservience to reveal their impact on us (and maybe you, too) through adulthood.

Thank you for tuning into season one of Not The Wifey Type: The Podcast! To commemorate the end of season one, I'm holding a giveaway. Winners announced Friday, Nov 27, 2020. More details in this episode. Season two will be back the first week of January! Giveaway form link: https://hello864601.typeform.com/to/CITBjXGO

Creator of "Blaxit Global" Chrishan Wright joins me to talk about her decision to leave the U.S. We discuss why it seems so many are reluctant to imagine life beyond borders, reasons to leave this country behind and everything there is to gain from starting over elsewhere.

Part 2 of 2: Based on Tiffanie Drayton's 2018 article Marriage Isn't for Black Women, Tiffanie and I discuss challenges and considerations for heterosexual Black women in the U.S. seeking marriage to Black men. Catch part 1 on last week's episode. Tiffanie's article: https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a17884845/black-couples-marriage-issues/ Fact check: https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/10/marrying-down-costs-educated-women-25k-a-year/433050/ https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6628a1.htm?s_cid=mm6628a1_w https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2018/11/19/why-men-who-make-less-than-their-wives-lie-about-their-earnings?fbclid=IwAR2WmWDkVq8UZxiHTbZ4vvAsySgQLnVLQSMqBnEOctL8r5JUG7jbTr9V5Y0

Part 1 of 2: Based on Tiffanie Drayton's 2018 article Marriage Isn't for Black Women, Tiffanie and I discuss challenges and considerations for heterosexual Black women in the U.S. seeking marriage to Black men. Catch part 2 on next week's episode. Tiffanie's article: https://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a17884845/black-couples-marriage-issues/ Fact check: https://www.trellisfoundation.org/black-student-debt-a-summary-of-recent-research/

There's been a lot of talk lately about how unprotected Black women are. Megan Thee Stallion recently penned a piece stating that "Protect Black women" should not be controversial. And it shouldn't. But in this solo episode, I question whether it's realistic to ask Black men to protect us, whether there's enough incentive for them to do so and whether it's time we focus our efforts elsewhere. I may also say the word "egregious" one too many times since I recently binge-watched Girlfriends.

My best friend of almost 20 years joins me on this episode to talk about putting women back at the center of women friendships. We get vulnerable and discuss our mistakes, our moments of envy and our lives beyond prioritizing partnerships with men. Content note: Lots of giggling, some cackling and heavy use of the word "bitch," affectionately, of course.

Quality representation of brown and dark skinned women is not so easy to come by. Jukebox Jones joins on this episode to talk about erasure and the media's concerted effort to make multiracial women representative for all Black women. We discuss how this harms darker skinned Black women and why we're so reluctant to put boundaries around blackness. Fact check On biracial people given more credibility with racial issues: https://psmag.com/social-justice/biracial-people-play-a-uniquely-positive-role-helping-americans-grapple-with-race

It seems like people have something to say about...literally everything Black women do. Standards for us can feel exceptionally high. In this episode licensed therapist Dr. Marcuetta Sims talks about these arbitrary bars we aspire to reach, how 2020 has brought us collective trauma that makes perfectionism worse and how you can remind yourself that you are already enough.

In this solo episode I talk about how capitalism and patriarchy impact labor expectations, why "gold diggers" don't exist and why men always owe you money. Even though this isn't a tutorial, I also talk about how I ask for money and what we stand to learn from listening to sex workers. Fact checks: On invisible labor: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190122092857.htm On household chores: https://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=111458

Podcaster and expat Lené Green talks about her experiences living in seven countries, the benefits and challenges of being a Black woman expat and how to get started on your own expat journey.

A conversation between myself and guest Lauren Fannin about how we learned/unlearned to struggle in love, what compromises Black women may have to make to be with Black men and why we still collectively cling to struggle love.

In this introduction to the podcast I talk about the journey to "Not The Wifey Type" and what you can expect from the show.