Movie Maintenance

In which out heroes are too focused on Gabe's new book so instead are giving you a sneak peek of chapters 1 and 2! Also if you’re in Melbourne on Tuesday the 26th of April come on down to the Readings bookstore at 309 Lygon St in Carlton for the free book launch and you can pre-order Boone Shepard at bellfrogbooks.com/booneshepard Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes praise your friend Billy Zane (he's a cool dude) and give him another shot in Phantom 2: The Ghost Who Walks. We try to cheer up Russel Crowe, celebrate Australia's surprisingly deep love of Phantom comics and profess our undying love for the man they call Billy Zane. Sean pitches his perfect Phantom sequel, Gabe's a black hearted monster and Handsome Tom just wants to explore all possible options for Hitler. So sit back, wear the skull ring and carry on the legacy of The Phantom; The ghost who walks.Want to cast Adolf Hitler in Phantom 2? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can have any actor you want. Any one. Even Danny Devito.You can pre-order Gabe's book Boone Shepard here http://www.bellfrogbooks.com/booneshepard/ and we'll be at the Readings bookstore, 309 Lygon St in Carlton on the 26th of April from 6:30pm for the book launch! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes boldly go where they've gone before and decide they want to talk about Hannibal again for the 50th episode of Movie Maintenance! We talk about how we're feeling one year on, are shocked at how vaginal some scenes were and understand that this show is about romance, not horror. Seriously. Handsome Tom reveals he nearly gave up in the early days, Gabe gets grumpy about Patsy and Zoe just wants to ship Will and Hannibal just as hard as she can. So sit back, curse network television and cable television while talk about Hannibal. For the fourth time.Want to fund another season of Hannibal? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us buy the rights.You can pre-order Gabe's book Boone Shepard here http://www.bellfrogbooks.com/booneshepard/ and we'll be at the Readings bookstore, 309 Lygon St in Carlton on the 26th of April from 6:30pm for the book launch! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

-In which our heroes line salt at all the doors and windows, play some classic rock, save people and hunt things and give fixing Supernatural a red hot go. We defend guilty pleasures, wonder what turns good shows bad and remember the time when buying DVDs was a thing people did. Edgoose pitches his ideal seasons 6 through 9, Zoe wants what's dead to stay dead and Handsome Tom just wishes the show stopped when it was supposed to. So sit back and carry on with a couple of wayward sons as we fix Supernatural. Want to fund our hunting trip? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can continue the family business. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes are the heroes that Gotham deserves but not the ones it needs right now so they take an 8 year break and try to fix The Dark Knight Rises. We wonder where it went all wrong, fondly reminisce about The Dark Knight and ask someone to explain to us just what The Harvey Dent act is. Zammit pitches a better ending to the trilogy, Gabe still doesn't really care about superhero films and Edgoose just wants a little more Jim Gordon in his life. So sit back, strap on your magic knee brace and pop your spine back into place and help us break The Dark Knight Rises out of prison. Want to end your Bane induced suffering? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you then will have our permission to die. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes try and guess if a mysterious person has dark hair, or glasses, or a big nose or blue eyes before getting frustrated, giving up and pitching the ideal Guess Who movie instead. We try to fit in Taylor Kitsch somewhere, wonder why other board game movies fail and bring everything back to Bernie Mack. Zammit accidentally becomes a bit racist, Zoe knows her character actors and Handsome Tom pitches his ideal Cold War Guess Who Spy (Board) Game thriller. So sit back, pick a player card, set up the board and try to guess how our ideal Guess Who film will end. Want to help us fund this movie? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us become big fancy movie producers. And don't forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces very soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes lose their wives, lose their dogs and lose their tempers as they pitch their ideal sequel for John Wick. We all get sad about dead dogs, get all happy about great movies and mispronounce the names of both figures in Greek mythology and John Legiuzamo. Zoe now wants to protect her kitten, Zammit wonders what a film about a terrified henchman would be like and Edgoose pitches his tower based sequel. So sit back, relax and pay a mysterious gold coin to listen to us pitch "John Wick 2: Sick Wick Open Bracket They've Killed His New Dog and This Time It's Even More Personal Again Close Bracket". Want to help us hire someone to break the rules of the continental? Forth time? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can assist in us in assassinating someone. How fun! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get remade, rebooted, recast and spin-off into alternate timelines to ask the question; Does continuity matter in films? We wonder why studios ignore certain films, use comic books as examples, get distracted by TV directors and X-Men 3 makes us sad and angry. Again. Gabe says it is, Zammit says not so much and Sean just tries his best to calm Gabe down. So sit back and hope this episode is good enough to launch a franchise, because we don't want to get rebooted with a younger, better looking cast. Want to help us relaunch the X-Men films for a third time? Maybe even a fourth time? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you help us really mess up that franchise! Don't forget to sign up to audible using our unique url: http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio. Go get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial. Or don't. Just so long as you sign up. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes attempt to sort out the lore, pick apart the cultural changes, discuss casting choices as Sean pitches his ideal Where's Wally film. We discuss the point at which we started to hate Zach Braff, get a lot of cannon from the old Where's Wally cartoon, and the difference between Wanda and Wendy. Gabe discusses the Animals of Farthing Wood, Zammit hates the Scrubs finale, Edgoose wonders who the hell is named Waldo, and Sean just wants Wally to take a journey of introspection. So sit back, grab your walking stick, open a portal and get lost amongst several different versions of yourself. In a world where everyone's trying to find Wally, Wally really just needs to find himself. Want to help stop Zach Braff doing another garden state? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we can make sure he never hurts us again. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Aunt May today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wear a tux, order martinis, drive Aston Martins, seduce exotic women, get an exploding pen from Q and then get to work trying to save Spectre. We criticise Ralph Fiennes' running, wonder if we were watching a spy movie or a spy parody and get distracted by Christopher Nolan. Zammit gets really mad about the movie, Gabe tries his best to fix it with his own take on Spectre and Sean just wants Spectre to show some heart. So sit back, get shaken but not stirred as we maintain Bond. James Bond. Want to help us buy some spy gadgets? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you help us accidently set ourselves on fire with our wristwatches. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Inspector Gadget today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes get perfect names, awesome giant robots and punch monsters in the face while pitching their ideal sequels for Pacific Rim. We gush about the first film, wonder why actual Australians weren't cast as the Australians in the film and get distracted by the Hobbit film that could have been. Zoe pitches her ideal follow up to the first movie, Edgoose tries to hijack it into a Friday Night Lights reunion and Zammit asks if anyone really wants a sequel? So sit back, relax and enter the drift with us, share our memories, our fears and our hopes for another Pacific Rim. Want to help us fund our own Jaeger program? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you help us build a massive robot so we can punch just...everything. Just all of it.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) rock-em-sock-em-robot today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes watch as their parents get shot by a mugger and they have to wait until they're grown up to do something about it. Luckily, they can spend the time watching Gotham. We talk about doing Batman without Batman, wonder what it would be like to be a cop in Gotham city and ask where did it all go wrong? Zammit asks why would anyone compress an entire season into a single episode, Tom blames Bruno Mars and Edgoose and Sean both pitch their own respective Gothams. So sit back, find a comfy spot in the bat cave and join us in asking just what the hell is Fish Mooney anyway as we attempt to fix Gotham. Want to help us be the heroes that this city deserves but not the ones it needs right now? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you help us all become Batmen. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Alfred today! And don't forget to check out Gabe's new book, Californian Catastrophe! Just head to http://www.gabrielbergmoser.com/boone-shepard to download your free copy today! In Melbourne on the 18th of February? Come see us live at the Eureka Hotel in Richmond. Doors open at 6:30, we start talking at 7! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes don some Mandalorian armour, freeze people in carbonite and say five lines before being slowly digested by a sarlaac over the course of 1000 years which gives us ample time to come up with our ideal Boba Fett spin off film. We talk about whether or not we actually like everybody's favourite bounty hunter, wonder what debauchery Boba got up to in Jabba's palace and think about how weird it would be to have an army made of your dad. Zammit gets Boba killing Jedi, Gabe really doesn't fret about Fett and Edgoose just wants to pitch his ideal Boba Fett TV series. So sit back, hang up your missile-jet-back-pack and put the driver's seat on Slave-1 in the recline position and listen to learn how to be a better bounty hunter than your dad, rest his head-less soul. Want to help us pay off our bounty hunters? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you'll be saving us from our own carbonite baths. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Jango Fett today! And don't forget to check out Gabe's new book, Californian Catastrophe! Just head to http://www.gabrielbergmoser.com/boone-shepard to download your free copy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes all change their first names to Ben, live in the desert, protect some dumb force baby and dream about Gabe's ideal Star Wars Anthology film. We try to stick to the ever-changing cannon, blend Kingsmen with Star Wars and figure out the physics of having the higher ground. Gabe rants about the lack of Jedi-less Star Wars stories before pitching his ideal anthology film with Jedi, Zammit channels his love for Wild Wild West and wants to include a big old sand dragon out of nowhere and Tom just wants more Joel Edgerton in his Star Wars. So sit back, relax, watch the twin suns rise over the peaceful sand dunes and settle in to get pitched at. We're tying up loose ends and having fun with some hutts. Want to help us buy out Disney so we can fund our Star Wars films? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we'll own the House of Mouse in no time. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Jar Jar today! And don't forget to check out Gabe's new book, Californian Catastrophe! Just head to http://www.gabrielbergmoser.com/boone-shepard to download your free copy today! as well as check out the Winterhill series by Iain Martin available at all good amazon.com stores or check out his website at http://www.iainmartinbooks.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes search for Luke, build another Death Star and use the wake up the Force from it's nap before setting their sights on doing some minor maintenance to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We wonder about the political landscape of space, try to remember who Captain Phasma is, get rid of a bunch of Rathtars and dream of Poe Dameron taking us away in his X-wing. Gabe wants to get rid of the evil, spherical, moon-base, Tom nearly cries twice during the movie and Zammit just wants to recreate Uncanny X-Men #136 but with Han and Chewies. So sit back, jump into hyperspace and listen to us talk about a movie THAT WE ALL REALLY LIKED. Want us to fund our own ill-defined resistance? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month we'll defend the galaxy when we get around to it. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) General Hux today! And don't forget to check out Gabe's new book, Californian Catastrophe! Just head to http://www.gabrielbergmoser.com/boone-shepard to download your free copy today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes look back at all the films they've seen, have a think about which ones were good and which ones were bad and reminisce about the year that was 2015. It's a thoughtful pilgrimage though the cinematic landscape as we drop the jokes and get serious about films. We give our top 5ish in no particular order, talk about our favourite Mr Show sketch and try and work out the top thing Gabe has said that's hurt us the most. Zammit's had enough of the heat and Duscher just wants everyone to remember all the times he's been in Movie Maintenance this past year. So sit back, grab your favourite zooper dooper and turn on the oscillating fan as we take you through a retrospective look back of the year that was. Want to help us watch more films in 2016? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help make this a reality.Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your free Benedict Cumberbatch! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes cast their minds back to the 90s, remember a time where Christmas was just Christmas, muse on the acting prowess of Ray Romano and set their sights on creating the ultimate Santa Clause Four-quel. We discuss the importance of having a message, explore the reasoning behind pitching an old cartoon at a new audience, and talk briefly about Everybody Loves Raymond. Zammit chucks in a sneaky homage to The Fountain, Jackson turns Christmas spirit into Christmas carnage and Dad just wants to know when it'll be his turn to record. So accidentally kill a beloved holiday figure, be super rude to your wife's new boyfriend, and remember to never fuck with Christmas. Happy Holidays! Want to help fund this amazing film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help make this Christmas miracle happen. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your free Star War! And don't forget to check out Gabe's new book, Californian Catastrophe! Just head to http://www.gabrielbergmoser.com/boone-shepard to download your free copy today! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes don't buy into the hype, get cynical and don't enjoy one of the best movies of 2015, Mad Max: Fury Road. We discuss Tom Hardy's on screen presence, the benefits of Doof Warriors and then get yelled at by Duscher from the crowd, a lot. Gabe wants to prove that Jurassic World is somehow a better film (it's not), Zoe says Max has no motivations (he does) and Zammit just drowns live on stage. It's an aggravating time and I can't believe that this was allowed to happen. I am so sorry.Want to pay for Zammit's gym membership? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help him bulk up so he can smack Gabe in the mouth.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least forty-six-thousands books about why Gabe and Zoe are poopy-heads who probably still wet the beds and are just big babies. Whatever. I'm not even furious. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes log on to Netflix, watch a solid 10 hours of television straight and set their sights on fixing Marvel's latest series; Jessica Jones all the while trying to avoid playing on their phones. We wonder what we'd do with powers of mind control, question Hollywood's depictions of drunks, find Nuke's storyline a little hard to swallow and overall wish for a better private detective to solve our cases. Zammit has four-point plan to fix the show, Gabe hates a side character apparently more than he's hated anything in his life, Zoe pitches a cop drama and Tom just wants to watch an actual noir. So sit back, take a blue pill to relax and listen to us take reds as we rage about Jessica Jones, a not-so private dick. Want to pay for Gabe's anger management therapy? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help him get access to the white and blue pills he needs. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least thirteen books on the power of suggestion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes go for an unexpected journey, end up desolating Smaug before refusing to partake in the battle of the five armies and instead set their sights on fixing the Hobbit trilogy. We wonder if the call backs (forwards?) to Lord of the Rings were really necessary, investigate the taxation of fish and want to know just how the framing of these films truely work. Zammit waits three films for Lee pace to actually do something, Michael is impressed by the mo-cap, Dean frames everything through Star Wars and Gabe was just happy to go there and back again. So sit back on top of your pile of gold, admire your own private arkenstone and try to work out who exactly was the fifth army. You can check out Dean and Michael's short film here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLEMLevAMfQ Want to help us build a treasure that'll make dragons jealous? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us get burned to a crisp by a big angry lizard. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least three books on the intricacies of elven physics. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now's your chance as we're doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes strip down into their tighty-whiteys, climb into an RV, call someone a bitch and cook up reasons why Breaking Bad needs their help. We look at Walt's downfall, the network being a big old baby by not killing babies and talk about the best place to do meth. Gabe wants Walt to suffer the hell of a thousand corpses, Duscher says the finale is all wrong, Zammit thinks it's too neat and Tom forgets the names of supporting characters. So sit back, wonder what happened to Huell and get haunted by Meth Damon in your nightmares as we break bad (but with words instead of drugs because we are not that cool).Want to launder some drug money? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can keep the DEA off your back.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least four books on using blue food dye to enhance your product.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now's your chance as we're doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes set phasers to stun, are pretty disappointed in the third act, and witness some hardcore diminishing returns, as they set their sights on fixing Star Trek: Into Darkness. We want to have a Tom Hardy Party, give lens-flare its due, and point out some glaring plot holes while wondering if Benedict Cumberbatch is attractive or not. Zammit was more of a Battlestar Galactica fan, Zoe's loves any Star Trek without William Shatner, and Gabe just wonders where the Star Trekiness went. So sit back and boldly go where many people have gone before as we cure death like it ain't n- KHANNNNNN!!Want to help Scotty beam you up? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us build the technology.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least thirty-one books on the perfect technique of yelling your nemesis' name at the sky.Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now's your chance as we're doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes butcher a comic book, misrepresent a character, and try to remember any character other than Wolverine as they set their sights on fixing X-Men Origins: Wolverine. We despair at Wolverines parenting, wonder where the subtlety went, and shake their heads as Sabretooth loses any mystery he might have had. Zammit struggles to keep his love for the X-Men strong, Sean thinks Hugh Jackman is too pretty for the role, Damien wishes Wolverine was an antihero and not just a hero, and Gabeis just a little too far away from the microphone. So sit back and try to make sense of this confusing mess, shake your head as Deadpool gets turned into a bald lazer-idiot, and then ignore almost all of it when you make a sequel. Which was also pretty bad. Just give up. Want to help fund a Magneto-James Bond film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making a decent origins film. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least twenty-two books on the difference between wolves and wolverines. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now's your chance as we're doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes see if there is a truly great Marvel film, destroy a child's bedroom and get annoyed at the inconsistency of Pym Particles as they set their sights on fixing Ant-Man. We look at the different levels of humour, the great daddy/daughter bonding moments and realise we liked the trailers a lot more than this movie. Zammit wants a heist film, James doesn't know if he should use a hyphen or not, Zoe hasn't seen the movie and Gabe just hates Inception. So sit back, shrink, or grow and ride a raft of ants or whatever. At least Zoe got in her Wire reference. Want to help see Paul Rudd in his prime? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in more shirtless scenes. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least nine books on micro-technology. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now's your chance as we're doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes find themselves trapped in a dark room and bound to a grotesque, rusted steel death trap. Unable to move and unable to escape. In front of them a screen flickers to life and to their horror; the Saw franchise starts playing. We talk about the rules of horror, scheme our own lethal traps and wonder why so many people are keen to becoming the next Jigsaw Killer. Gabe pitches his ideal Saw 8 with added Cary Ewles but not before Zoe pitches Saw 9, set decades in the future. Meanwhile, Tom has trouble coming up with a original trap that's more Saw and less Snidely Whiplash. So sit back and get ready to play a game. But don't worry, if you don't die in this podcast you'll be brought back for Part VI five years from now. Want to help us escape from one of Jigsaw's taps? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us bribe our way out of the game. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least seven books about setting up your own murderous Rube Goldberg machines. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shuffle about, lose track of Carl and worship at the church of Carol as they try to shoot The Walking Dead in its disappointing head. We pitch zombies on ice, wonder why anyone would ignore the comics, talk about undead beavers and rule with an iron thumb and a green fist. Gabe wants the show deader than a dead walker, Zammit wants it bleak, Zoe wants it funny and Tom just wants Frank Darabont back as showrunner. So sit back, hide your zombie bites from the rest of the group and stay at Hershel's farm for way too long as we convince you that maybe next season will be better. Want to help us stock up for the zombie apocalypse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help us avoid becoming cannibals for just a little bit longer. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least two books about zombie ice-skaters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes commend the original film for the genius it is, give the sequels their due, and consider the worthiness of the genre as they set their sights on writing the perfect Jaws sequel; Jaws 5: Legacy. We discuss the message of Deep Blue Sea, fix Terminator Genysys in about 20 seconds and discuss the downsides of the selective sequel. Gabe does his best to get a Jaws sequel to his name, Zammit outlines the struggle of loving comic books, and Edgoose just doesn't expect anyone to use the word elegant in this episode. So head on down to the beach, get in a bigger boat, and try not to get et. It's been safe to go back in the water for a while but now it isn't again.Want to help Gabe live his dream of writing a Jaws film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help fund a plane ticket to Universal Studios.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least five books about the natural habitat of megalodons. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes conclude their three-part Hannibal Movie Maintenance trilogy by forgetting what a movie is, use their imaginations instead of vision and put red pen to paper to try to cook up the fifth instalment in the Hannibal saga. We once again try to forget Hannibal Rising, take several trips to sunny Buenos Aires and talk about what makes or breaks an adaptation. Gabe quickly writes an entire novel while the others swoon, Zoe is sad we're focusing on the book version of Will Graham and not the TV version of Will Graham, and Zammit just wishes it would never end. So sit back, open up a good book and enjoy a nice lunch without thinking too much about what where it came from.Want to take us out to a nice dinner and night at the opera? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month you can help support Zoe's growing cannibalism habit.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least several books written by Gabe that explores what to do now that Hannibal's cancelled. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes bid farewell to the perfect TV show, say thank you to Bryan Fuller and curse NBC as they set their sights on extending Hannibal to a Fourth Season. We look at how utterly perfect this show was for Gabe, place the blame squarely on the shoulders of everyone who didn't watch it, and the mistreatment of Patsy. Gabe is once again a powerful resource for all things Hannibal, Zoe manages to sneak her traditional Wire reference in, and Zammit just wishes there'd been an extended manhunt. So sit back, snuggle up to your murder husband and enjoy one last meal of a very quiet lamb. Want to help pay for couples therapy? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference bettering our murder spree. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least three books on reviving TV shows. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes go back to their past, are spoon fed their sister and try to protect the honour of a Japanese lady as they set their sights on fixing Hannibal Rising. We look at the correct age to read Red Dragon, the many mistakes of Dino De Laurentiis, and the torrid history of what went on behind the scenes. Gabe knows literally everything about this franchise, Zoe makes a spooky prediction, Zammit prefers Hannibal when he's not in the limelight and James is nothing but questions. So sit back, get a little brainwashed, wear a muzzle for no reason and invite your friends over for dinner. The pork loin with red fruit cumberland sauce is to die for.Want to help pay for our culinary school tuition? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference bettering our palette. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least four books on how to cook for forty humans and then eat them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes live in the future, travel back to the past and then travel back to the future for a bit as they set their sights on fixing Terminator Genysis. It's a jumbled mess as we take a look at the original timeline, the altered timeline, our new ideal timeline and the rat based diet that awaits us all in the future. Zammit uses a sponge to explain Jai Courtney's face, Duscher accidentally spoils the magic of podcasting and special guest Sam Pratt-White just wants us to remember key points in the Terminator franchise. So stand up and lead the resistance... or let Skynet take over, whatever, we don't care and neither does this franchise. Want to help Skynet in their efforts to advance technologies? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in a better future. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least three books on robots rightful place in society. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wonder where the money went, puzzle over the missing scenes, and thank god the cast did their best as they set their sights on fixing Fan4stic. They discuss the weird way the movie only gets bad in its second half, Doom's green leanings, and eventually turn the military into Mole Men. James calls out the Internet, Zammit ends up talking about Skrulls, Bandit Incorporated hopes to one day read the original script, and Gabe wants everyone to know just how perfect this film was. So get hammered, invite around your girlfriend, her brother and your best friend and hop in a spaceship to an alternate dimension. It's a confusing mess, but a confusing mess you have to experience. Want to help rebuild the house Josh Trank ruined? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can at least get some new photos taken. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least four books on turning regular soldiers into regular mole men soldiers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes visit a reopened dinosaur park, try to use dinosaurs as a fix for their failing marriage, and then attempt to solve every problem they have with dinosaurs as they set their sights on fixing Jurassic World. They discuss the lack of dino-death in the original, how glad we all are that a stego-ceratops didn't make the final cut, and the weird anti-divorce message of the Jurassic Park franchise. Zammit tries his best to figure out who the main character is, Brendon puts forward the idea of a Jungle Book inspired sequel, James just enjoyed the pure spectacle, and Gabe wants everyone to know just how perfect this film was. So choose some DNA at random, cobble it all together, and hope to god you don't create a monster. Life, (and product placement) will always find a way. Want to help fund an R rated James Cameron directed Jurassic Park? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help create the perfect film. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least forty-four books on the relationship between raptors bringing back together the family unit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes expect more, receive less, and wonder what the Wachowskis were thinking as they turn their attention to fixing Jupiter Ascending. They discuss genetically altered army dog man fuckboys, if dog's are afraid of heights, and Mila Kunis, Queen of the bees. Zammit presents his theory for how Eddie Redmayne's performance came to fruition, Zoe surprises us all by explaining that it was a comedy, and Gabe is just furious he had to watch the movie. So lace up your flying rollerblades, rescue Jupiter, take a couple of basic lessons in how to edit a film and thank your lucky stars for Eddie Redmayne. It's a journey beyond our known universe, so don't forget to call your mothheeeeerrreh-!Want to help Zammit pay for an audio coach to perfect his Eddie Redmayne impression? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference whenever he talks to his mother.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least thirty-seven books on controlling bees while rollerblading through space while you are also a wolf man. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes discuss the bumpy trajectory of the series, pinpoint the exact moment they decided to call it quits, and pine for the glory days of 2006 as they set their sights on Dexter Season 5. We look at the places in our world Dexter used to hold, discuss the life-cycle of a TV show, and can't help but discuss The Wire. Zammit laments the fact that Dexter never had to deal with consequences, Zoe points out the only show to have truly peaked in its first season, and Gabe just wants to know why the writers wanted Dexter and Deb to fall in love. So sit back, keep a close eye on your air conditioner full of blood slides, pit your wits against this seasons serial killer, and try to hide your double life from your co-workers. Listen in with your dark passenger, who we hope isn't some kind of fallen angel demon we all share.Want to help fund a superior season 5? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference by reducing the lumberjack population in Canadian wilderness by one.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least five books on disappointing your fans and followers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes admit that it has its good points, put the blame primarily on the script, and lament the butchering of Phoenix as they set their sights on fixing X-Men: The Last Stand. We look at the powerful metaphor mutants provide, how boring Wolverine is, and touch on Mr. Sinister's Nasty Boy. Zammit recounts the Dark Phoenix Saga while recommending another podcast, Gabe would happily remove Scott Summers, and Marley just wants everyone to know how much she loves the Beast. So sit back, try not to get cloned and avoid the cure at all cost as it's probably something a little Sinister. Want to help Gorgeous George return home to Australia? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the number of Australia's mutant population. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least eighteen books on naming your team of super-villain subordinates. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes shake their heads at the casting choices, find the perfect time-period in which to release the film, wonder why they decided to add Shia LeBeouf, and set their sights on fixing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We look at the tensile strength of snakes, remember the Outsiders, and distance ourselves from Mel Gibson. Zammit brings up Metal Gear Solid, James recalls a glorious scene in the Young Indiana Jones Adventures, and Duscher just shocks everyone by defending the film. So hop into a fridge, thank your lucky stars they didn't kill off Indiana Jones, and try not to get eaten by CGI fire ants.Want to help bring back the young adventures of Indiana Jones? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can at least get something going.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least thirty-three books on fighting Nazis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wonder where Prometheus fits in the Alien franchise, bemoan the fact that the film asks a lot of questions but answers literally zero, let Ridley Scott know just how much he failed and set their sights on fixing Prometheus. We look at how glorious AvP was, shake their heads at the whole Jesus was a Space Jockey thing, and wonder what Guy Pearce is even doing there. Zoe is nothing but questions, Zammit is sad that the film was not the original screenplay of Alien: Engineers, and Gabe wonders what was the point of having a Xenomorph turn up at the end. So settle in, get immediately confused and start yelling at Damon Lindelof while you run away from a giant rolling wheel by staying directly in its path and refusing to jump out of its way. Want to help fund an apology basket we can send the Engineers for killing Jesus? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can probably get some figs in there. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least 233 books about proper helmet taking off procedure when in an alien habitat. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes completely hate the tone of the film, think the casting is fine, but overall felt like everything was just wrong so they're setting their sights on fixing Man of Steel. We look at the bizarre characterisation of Jonathan Kent, wonder why Zod didn't just colonise the moon, and discuss the amount of times Superman has killed in the past. James finds discrepancies in who should be good at karate and who shouldn't, Zammit creates a Superman vs. Zod fight that introduces the DC cinematic universe that doesn't kill millions, and Duscher just hated the first 20 minutes of the film. So sit back, try to avoid the falling buildings, watch Superman kill Zod right in front of you to protect your specific family (but not the countless others who lost their lives that day), and wonder why none of this is taking place in space. Want to help rebuild Metropolis? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help contribute toward the reconstruction of this once thriving metropolis. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least 20 books about coping with 22 9/11s. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes enjoyed a large majority of the film, loved the character moments, but overall felt disappointed so they're setting their sights on fixing Avengers: Age of Ultron. We look at the overstuffed plot, cultivate the Civil War seeds that may or may not have been planted and discuss the lack of consequences from Iron Man 3. Zoe isn't happy about inevitably seeing Ant-Man 3 times in the cinema, Gabe demands better story structure and Zammit just wants more Hawkeye on farms. So sit back, have a cave swim, dry yourself off with a copied version of Thor's cape and hopefully we'll meet everyone halfway. Want to help fund an amalgamation of all our Avengers 2s? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our bank balances. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least two books on writing strong male characters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes remember some childhood trauma, share their life lessons learned from Star Wars, question the odd stipulations involved in the Jedi Code and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Luka Muller envisions a whole movie focused on Darth Vader being Darth Vader. James wonders what happened to the bombs in Anakin's head, Zammit gets turned against Watto, Luka tries to walk through a table and Duscher just wants Zammit to know he's had enough. So sit back, cue up the Binks Awakens, climb into your custom built driving simulator chair and let us regale you with stories about Australian news presenters. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least thirty-four books on how to create sentient marionettes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes joust with torture droids, exclaim how much we do not want, yell 'George Lucas why' at the sky and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Dave Callan and Karen Barrett take on the monumental task of not only fixing the Prequel Trilogy but also the Original Trilogy as well as pre-emptively fixing the Force Awakens. Duscher wants a Blues Brothers inspired Jawa film, Zammit is going to the next premiere in an inspired powder blue suit, Dave is curious to know what happened to Billy Dee 'Looking for Gigs' Williams and Karen just thinks Hayden Christensen shouldn't be an actor. So sit back, turn your friends into art with a carbon freezing chamber and listen to the adventures of dead beat dads in space amongst other things.Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least twenty-four books on how to raise your legitimate Wookie children. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes stop and question the intended audience, try to establish just who was to blame for an intergalactic war and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Dean Musumeci and Michael Irwin start making minor revisions that build upon the predecessors like the simple change of a planet's name, giving Bail Organa a more pivotal role and bridging the age gap of two star-cross'd lovers. Duscher is scared of Killiks, Dean wants to bring in the Mandalorians, Michael comes to the defence of Hayden Christensen and Zammit just wants Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon as space babysitters. So sit back, listen to us play a better hand than the one we were dealt with and join us in July for the screening of The Old Republic: Rescue Mission at Backlot Studio in Melbourne.Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least fifty-six books on character design based on windex bottles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes write themselves into some pretty major problems then spend the rest of the episode trying to solve them as we once again set our sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Michael Williams shines a spotlight on Dexter Jettster, crash lands a ship on a Gak Planet and included an Anakin that doesn't want to be a part of this star war. Gabe has far too much fun playing in the sandbox that is the Star War Universe, Michael is terrified by the immense pressure of fixing the prequels and Zammit just wants cops in space. So sit back and let us tell you a tale of political coups, planets full of Sith and a villainous Ray Man. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least nineteen books on defrosting smugglers out of carbonite. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes wonder if anything is salvageable from the Prequels, ask why Jabba didn't kill Han Solo after he disrespected him and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Sam Marzden combines Wolf of Wall Street, Less Than Zero and that ex-junkie turned motivational speaker you remember from high school to tell a tale of corruption, betrayal and debauchery that sets the Jedi on a path they can barely recover from. Zammit remembers killing Anakin fondly on the N64, Duscher is still mad that the 1999 trailer reveal of the double-ended lightsaber and Sam just wants fat, bearded and drunken Jedis. So sit back and imagine an R-rated Star Wars film fuelled by sex and drugs and Obi-Wan going out of his way to ruin the life of Doctor Cornelius Evazan.Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives.And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least ten books on the pros and cons of deathsticks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes find new things to be angry at George Lucas for, get mad at the ring theory and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Steele Saunders proclaims that it's hard to make the prequels worse and, while he's more of a watcher than a writer of Star Wars films, provides insights into minor tweaks that would have made a world of difference. Zammit provides soothing sounds for everyone, Steele uses late night talk show hosts as the perfect analogy of what went wrong and Duscher just thinks George Lucas believes that Mark Hamill is Luke Skywalker. So sit back and relax, download a copy of the Phantom Edit, listen to the commentary and you too can find new things to be angry at George Lucas for. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least eleven books on how to edit a film good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes stop to question the cult-like behaviour of the Jedis, resurrect Darth Maul by never killing him in the first place and once again set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequels. This time round Gabe injects some warmth, humour and personality by focusing purely on character and gives us the story of a non-annoying teenage Anakin; a stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder. Zammit is on board with little orphan street urchin Annie, Gabe wants to know what 20 year old acts like Obi-Wan and Duscher just wants to keep podracing to please his inner twelve and a half year old. So sit back in your chair, close your eyes and imagine a Star Wars Prequel where we actually care about the trials and tribulations of our favourite Jedis and a slightly less racist Jar Jar. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least two books exploring how to use the Force for your own personal benefit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes train the most powerful Jedi in the world, get instantly get betrayed, and set their sights once again on fixing the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. This time round James aka Mr. Sunday Movies tells the story of a grown up Anakin Skywalker giving in to the Dark Side whilst a struggling, ageing Obi-Wan watches in horror as his student becomes something he doesn't even understand anymore. Zammit is glad the Expanded Universe no longer exists, Duscher explains that his younger self couldn't comprehend the idea of four(!!!) lightsabers and James is just sorry he derailed our show. So join us for the very first episode we ever recorded with James but released like, the 8th? We don't know, this number thing is difficult and confusing. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least six books exploring how to use the Force for your own personal benefit. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes kick Jackson out of the studio, invite Gabe to have a seat, and set their sights on fixing the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. This time round Zammit tells the story of "Starkiller" Jane, exiled Jedi turned bartender caught in the middle of a war between sith backed Mandalorians and a struggling Resistance which pulls her back into a life she thought she'd left behind. Gabe is on board from the get go and Duscher wishes Zammit would stop winking at the audience and Zammit just wants to set up Star Wars through the lens of a History of Violence with an expected dash of Wheel of Time. Sit back in your seat, bust out the popcorn and enjoy: Star Wars Episode One: Anakin's Mum. Want to help fund this time machine? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our nerd lives. And don't forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there's probably at least fourteen books exploring Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In which our heroes over commit, burn the candle at both ends and promise too much as we launch a new show: Movie Maintenance. A show where we look at films that could have been better, should have been better and can be better. It's part fan fiction, part review show, part Zammit's attempt to get a job as a producer. So join us next week as we kick off by asking a bunch of our podcasting pals what their ideal Star Wars prequel would be. In celebration of May 4th we're giving you a new episode every day until we've sufficiently flogged that dead horse! And then once or twice a month. Movie Maintenance - because some films need fixing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.