Monster Mash

And so it begins: we kick off our coverage of the Monster Hunter XX monsters with the Barioth. Its a mercifully shorter episode than the last couple. Just a sensible amount of chat about a cool Sabre-toothed wyvern.

Another big, long elder dragon this week which means another long episode. Let me tell you, there are some strong opinions in the house about this big snake!

This week we're hunting the big boy who bookends Monster Hunter 4, the Darren Mohran. There's a lot of chat about this fella, so strap in. There's also an awful lot of post-cast hunt chat, so if you're not a fan of "the bantz" get your thumb ready to skip to the end.

The design, hunt and ecology of the Jaggi, Jaggia and Great Jaggi.

No new monster chat this week, but if you like hearing us talk absolute shit, you're in for a treat! We might be taking a week or two off but then we'll be back to work our way through the monsters of Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate and Monster Hunter Double Cross. See ya!

The designs, hunts and ecologies of various small monsters.

Something slightly different this week: a collection of the smaller monsters which appear in Monster Hunter Double Cross. Luke thinks he's funny, Jay plays along, Andy shows a surprisingly tender side and Jas reveals himself to be a LEGIT PSYCHOPATH.

Here we go then, the final large monster in Monster Hunter Generations. As always Andy is sleepy, Jas is interrupting, Jay barely recognises the monster and Luke is struggling valiantly to keep everything on track. Next week we have a special on small monsters and after that will be an outtakes collection. Soon after we're kicking off a new season of the podcast with all the monsters from Monster Hunter 4U and Monster Hunter XX that we haven't covered yet!

Ohayōgozaimasu! Wakamono wa Amatsugamatsuchi o karu. Tanoshinde!

This week, we’re hunting the white god Ukanlos! Or as Andy prefers to call him, Shovel Knight. Andy isn’t with us this week, Luke’s much too sleepy and Jay is struggling to keep the podcast on track. Then at the end, listen to some highlights from the hunt where Ukanlos gives us a proper kicking.

We were recording after 9 in the evening again this week so although you're getting some quality chat about an interesting monster, the hunt highlights include lots of talk about whether Jay does or does not like licking ladies' bits. Sorry not sorry.

This week, we're hunting the Teostra. Now in HD! Other than that . . . look, we recorded this a week ago and I'm pretty tired right now so I know about as much as you about what we did or didn't say!

For a bonus sized fiftieth episode the lads are joined by Joe Skrebels, the go-to man for British podcasts about Monster Hunter, to discuss the greatest monster of all: man. Luke tries and fails to keep things on topic, Jay is almost helpful, Andy is starstruck, Jas has loud people in his house and Joe thinks we should ban this sick filth.

This week we're talking about the big, spiky brute who doesn't fit in: the Akantor. He's not an elder dragon but he sure as hell can't fly. I think he needs a hug . . .

In a surprisingly musical episode, the lads hunt the metal elder dragon Kushala Daora. Andy will apparently sing on demand, Jay is putting in hard work and apparently not only does Luke think Jas is Dutch, he's forgotten what's Dutch and what's Swedish. He had some of a beer. . . Songs: Sewn- The Feeling You Only Live Twice - Nancy Sinatra Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk

The design, hunt and ecology of the Deviljho and Savage Deviljho.

KA ME HA ME HAAAA! Jay gets to let all of his inner weeaboo out and talk about Dragonball Z, Luke gets to bring up King Kong again, Andy makes monkey noises and Jas acts smug about not fainting. It's the bad boy of Monster Hunter, the Rajang!

The design, hunt and ecology of the Uroktor, Agnaktor and Glacial Agnaktor.

What's the difference between lava and magma? Find out in another educational edition of Monster Mash. We also discuss Monster Hunter Frontier at length in a desperate attempt to squeeze out 15 minutes of audio content about the bloody Lavasioth.

This week the lads climb the mighty disco mountain and tell you what they can see. Luke spends the podcast slowly melting into a supine position, so sorry for the steady drop in audio quality. Links of note: Sker Buffalo Shagga, Son of Dolf The Dovakhiin

The boys somehow squeeze a whole 42nd episode out of the Kecha Wacha. He's a damned dirty ape who inexplicably is only in high rank for Monster Hunter Generations. Links of note: Kecak Regular Features Episode 244 Planet of the Apes

He's cool, he's tough, he's sometimes a hilarious fat space hopper idiot: the biggest shark you know, Zamtrios! We also discuss the little ones and the desert one, then we make fun of him for being fat because we're hypocrites.

It is far too hot to be mucking about talking about pretend dragons on the internet, but these three heroes have done it anyway for your listening pleasure. Enjoy their nonsense about Shaggy himself, the Shagaru Magala!

This week the boys hunt the Kirin, the lightning unicorn who won't FUCKING SIT STILL. Kirin is actually one of the only monsters in the Monster Hunter series directly based on a mythical creature, the Kirin or Qilin, which is kind of the Japanese unicorn. Also! Stay to the end for a short excerpt from the boys' thoughts on Monster Hunter World and Monster Hunter XX. The full version of that reaction can be found on youtube.

This week, the lads lament the terrifying, ancient monster that spreads chaos through the land, Theresa May. They also discuss the Gore Magala, while overly committing to the joke that they don't know what it matures into.

This week, Luke "Terrified of Insects" Summerhayes scarpered at the sight of the Seltas Queen which leaves Andy, Jay and Jas to soldier on and take on the Neopteron menace. Is she a scorpion? A spider? A beetle? An earwig? Listen on to find out!

The design, hunt and ecology of the Brachydios.

Depending on whether you listen to Monster Mash for interesting monster discussion or top-tier bantz, this is either the best or worst episode yet. In their attempt to discuss the Seregios, the boys somehow discuss Mr. Worldwide himself, Pitbull, Andy's half-remembered gaming and whether a handjob from Steve is better or worse than voting Tory. (The answer is better. Anything is better).

He's loud, he's aggressive, he's everyone's favourite dinosaur/ tiger hybrid, the Tigrex! Join Jay, Jas, Luke but not Andy as they manage to talk about Digimon, Dark Souls and Metal Gear. It's all relevant, I swear! Kinda.

Get ready to wolf down some delicious audio #content as the Monster Mashers wax lyrical about the noble Zinogre. He's cool, he's tough, he's got a certified banger of a tune and his edgelord subspecies drives all the main ones wild. Enjoy!

Join Monster Mash down in Davey Jones' Locker to follow up our series on the Fated Four with an episode on the Nakarkos. Jay manages to suppress his hatred of squids and Luke successfully passes off "I watched Clash of the Titans for the monster bits" as knowledge of Ancient Greek mythology and literature.

Sometimes you want an elegantly designed, super interesting design for an animal that takes inspiration from nature, mythology and the human condition. Other times you want a big fire-breathing dinosaur with a sword for a tail. The last of the Fated Four, the Glavenus.

Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bug? Is it a dragon? No, actually, it's a wyvern. Listen to the Monster Mash weeabos wax lyrical about the Astalos. EDITED: This podcast was previously uploaded with the last line accidentally cut short, the bit where Jay called back to Luke's joke has been reinstated. Also a couple of awkward pauses have been removed. Enjoy!

This week, we continue to discuss the fated four with an episode on the Gammoth, or Glammoth if you're Jay. We're getting to the point where the clips you hear at the end, from us hunting the monster, are not going so well if we don't wear armour.

This week, the boys kick off the fated four with the elegant dancing bubble fox, Mizutsune! They talk Japan, dragons, kimonos and slip 'n' slides. Jay wasn't around for the pre-recording no armour hunt, so all three of the others managed to faint twice. Shambolic.

Here he is. Jay Leno himself. The Crimson Chin. Our very first Brute Wyvern, the Uragaan! He eats rocks, he's covered in lava, he made all of us faint in our pre-podcast hunting! Also: fruit pastille chat and our best audio ever. It's almost good enough for me to recommend for human ears!

The star of three of the four boys' first Monster Hunter games, the Lagiacrus! We discuss his history, how he's changed for Generations and the inspirations. We also speculate wildly about what we want and expect from Monster Hunter V. For the first time, we each recorded separately instead of recording the skype call! Unfortunately, Luke had his headphones too loud and was using the laptop mic. Gone are the skype glitches, in is a slight annoying echo. Sorry! Soon we'll have good audio like a proper podcast, promise!

Despite being our shortest episode yet, we manage more tangents than a maths lesson. Marvel as we discuss yetis, King Kong, Donkey Kong and Breath of the Wild while occasionally mentioning the Blangonga in passing.

He's a fish on legs and he is not as cool as official artwork would have you believe. This week, the boys engage in a bit of extreme fishing as they tackle the ultimate river monster, the Plesioth. Jay's been reading up on the dinosaur book Luke sent him for Christmas, Jas doesn't like the big fishy bastard and Andy needs to get his hip checked.

This week, the boys return to hunt the hyper aggressive Yian Garuga. Learn some biology, some history and some unpleasant truths; like what birds look like without feathers (picture below). This episode sponsored by KFC. The joke is that anyone would pay us for this nonsense . . .

Jesters to the left of me, owls to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with hoot. This week, we're fighting the weirdest owl around, the Malfestio.

Snakes are weird and the Najarala is pretty much a snake. Jay wants to know what's going on with the arms, Luke's a bit freaked out, Jaster's an aerial insect glaive wizard and Andy isn't all this new-fangled pish.

This is our longest episode yet, but to be fair it is the mighty Rathalos! Also, last week was our shortest ever, so deal with it. This is the main man, the firey wyvern who rules the roost, the king of the skies. Marvel as Luke manages to find legitimate reasons to bring up Transformers, Metal Gear and Nicki Minaj.

Join a very excited Luke, Jay and Jas to crack John Cena jokes and enthuse about the slicin', dicin' Shogun Ceanataur while a very sleepy Andy continues to not understand wrestling.

Look! In the sky! It's a bat! It's a panther! No, it's Nargacuga! One of the most popular monsters about, the sleek, catlike ninja Nargacuga is a big hit with the Monster Mash lads as well. Even if they can't decide if it's a panther, a bat or the predator.

This week, we hunt the monster that well and truly gives Jay the boke: the Volvidon. He's big, red, not a car, he rolls, he shits everywhere and that is one creepy tongue. Prepare to be amazed at how much one man can hate a fictional armadillo bear, and how many tangents we can take when trying to explain it.

The lads discuss The Queen of the Land, the Rathian. Luke is glad to see Monster Hunter understand the distinction between Wyverns and Dragons, Jay wants to lure children to a park, Andy doesn't think Rathian is very pretty and nobody wants their land to even have a queen. Happy new year! Do scroll down and look at all the social media/ sharing stuff. Let's make 2017 the year of Monster Mash!

Sorry about this. In a desperate attempt to put out something festive, and have a small amount of content about Monster Hunter Double Cross and the potential film project, here is a weird Christmas Carol thing about us trying to make Andy less of a fanny. Includes some amusing outtakes and extended scenes from the first year of Monster Mash. More of the usual, actually good, content coming soon. Love you. Merry Christmas.

No, we're not telling porkies, it really is the episode you've been gagging for. Stand to attention and get ready for us to thrust some juicy chat your way. The long and short of it is this episode we get down and dirty with the no-eyed cave snake himself, the Khezu.

This week, enjoy stimulating conversation about the Gypceros. We discuss the fascinating hunt, with the stealing and sleeping and poison and flashing, the visual design and the armour. We also have a very uncomfortable discussion about the name, in which we try very hard but probably fail to not be offensive. Really Capcom!?