Marriage Talk

In today’s episode, Sheldon and Valerie sit down with special guest Chris McKenna for an honest and insightful conversation about something that touches all of our lives—our relationship with technology. They explore how our devices are shaping not just our habits, but our relationships and overall well-being.Chris brings a thoughtful perspective on what it looks like to parent in a hyper-connected world and makes a compelling case for reintroducing an ancient practice into our modern lives: the sweetness of doing nothing. Together, they unpack why it's more crucial than ever to carve out space for rest, presence, and intentional living in our daily routines.This interview is part of the upcoming Confident Parent Series, launching April 28, 2025, from FamilyLife Canada. Don’t miss out on the full lineup of conversations and free resources designed to encourage and equip parents across the country.👉 Sign up for the FamilyLife Canada newsletter to be the first to access this inspiring series and more! https://mailchi.mp/familylifecanada.com/9ozfzlbmh3Chris McKenna is the founder of Protect Young Eyes and President of The Better Tech Project. Chris is a respected digital safety voice, creating valuable and practical resources for families and schools. His impactful 2019 testimony before the US Senate initiated a series of hearings to further online child protection policy. Years of gritty effort earned PYE the 2020 Dignity Defense Award from the National Center on Sexual Exploitation and the 2024 Child Safety Award from The Phase Alliance.Recent state-level legislation co-authored by Chris - the Child Device Protection Bill - passed in Utah and moved through multiple chambers in six other states. It will force devices to enable existing content filters when activated by a minor.He is a technical advisor to Angel Kids AI and works closely with digital safety advocates and legislators to craft policies that reign in abusive technologies. As a representative of the Human Change Movement, Chris spoke at the 2024 and 2025 World Economic Forum.Under his guidance, the Protect Young Eyes team conducts presentations worldwide to parents, professionals, and schools, and gained recognition by being featured in the Childhood 2.0 movie. Their website, courses, and private parent community show caregivers step-by-step how to prepare and protect their children in digital spaces.Chris cherishes family, including road trips with his four children, connecting with nature, running, romping with his pups, and almost anything sweet.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/protectyoungeyes/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-mckenna-75962211/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/protectyoungeyesWebsite: https://protectyoungeyes.com/Links for items talked about in the episode:3 Things To Get Started - https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/start-here5 Habits of a Tech-Ready Home on-demand course for parents - https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/courseThe Table - https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/the-tableProcessing Questions:How do you think your children interpret your relationship with technology?How would introducing some sweet nothingness moments in your life help?What’s one small step you could take today that could make a big impact in your household tomorrow?

In today’s episode Matt Cline from Restored Ministries joins Sheldon to talk about Jesus Centered Sexuality and how our temptations can actually be seen as opportunities if we change our mindset.Matt is the founder and director of Restored Ministries which aims to equip individuals and churches to have victory over the epidemic of pornography and sexual brokenness in our world. Matt has been a leading speaker and coach in Canada on the topic of sexual brokenness since 2014 and has seen countless lives radically changed all around the world through his ministry. Restored Ministries - https://www.restoredministries.ca/Pure Freedom Community - https://purefc.ca/Processing Questions:What has shaped your view of sex and sexuality?Next time you are tempted what would it do to ask God “what are you teaching me about you in this”Where do you turn to find your value?

Have you ever stopped to think about how God never changes? 🙌 Hebrews 13:8 reminds us: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. But while He remains constant, we are always changing—growing, and learning.And honestly? That’s not a bad thing. But sometimes, change can make us feel like we don’t recognize the person we married… or even ourselves.That’s why today, Sheldon and Valerie are talking about rediscovery—the adventure of continually learning about each other in marriage. Think back to the early days… the excitement of discovering new things about your spouse, the little surprises, the curiosity. That doesn’t have to fade! But it does take intentionality.Let’s be couples who never stop discovering—who stay curious, who lean in, and who pursue each other daily. ❤️Processing Questions From Episode:In what positive ways have you changed since getting married?In what positive ways have you seen your spouse change since getting married?In what area do you feel you need to rediscover your spouse? What ways do you feel you need to reintroduce yourself to your spouse?

In a world that’s go-go-go, when was the last time you actually slowed down? 🤔 No, not just scrolling on your phone—but truly relaxing?🎨 Maybe it’s coloring like you did as a kid. 📖 Getting lost in a good book. 🌱 Digging in the garden (weeds and all!). 🙏 Taking a quiet moment with God.However it looks for you, make time for it. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you. 💛In today's episode Valerie and Sheldon continue their R-E series and today’s word is Relax. Processing Questions:What helps you to release tension and find refreshment for your mind and body? When you take time to relax, what benefits do you see in yourself and your relationships?What would you like to add to your schedule to have some intentional relaxation time?

Welcome back to our RE-series! Last week, we dove into the power of Reconnect, and today, we’re shifting gears to talk about Realign—because, let’s be honest, sometimes life completely messes up our plans, and we need a reset!So, picture this: you’re on a cruise, living your best life, and they hand you a domino set as a gift (fancy, right?). But then comes the challenge—they ask you to reflect on what happens when someone blocks your move in a game of dominos. UGH. The strategy you carefully planned? Wrecked. You’re forced to realign, find a new position, and keep playing. Frustrating? Absolutely. Necessary? 100%.Now, here’s where it gets real—this isn’t just a dominos thing. This is a marriage thing. Life happens. Unexpected challenges come up. We’re all human, which means sin, selfishness, and just plain old stress can knock us out of alignment with our spouse. But instead of staying stuck, what if we chose to realign? What if we found a way to reposition ourselves together and get back in the game?In today’s episode, Sheldon and Valerie are diving into practical ways to realign in marriage—whether it’s communication, priorities, or just remembering why you started this journey together in the first place. Because trust us, the game isn’t over just because the strategy had to change.Let’s talk about it! 🎧Processing Questions:What areas do I need to realign in my life?Where do we need to realign together in our relationship?What's one thing I could do today to help us realign in our marriage?

On your wedding day, you probably thought, ‘We’ll always feel connected.’ But as life gets busy, distractions creep in, and that sense of closeness can start to fade. The good news? It doesn’t have to stay that way. In today’s episode, Sheldon and Valerie dive into some common distractions that pull couples apart—and, more importantly, some key elements that can bring them back together.Processing Questions:What keeps you from connecting with your spouse and God? How could a conversation with your spouse about what distracts you from connecting help you to reconnect? When could you have that conversation together?What is one thing you can do this week to connect with your spouse?

Sheldon and Valerie have the privilege of interviewing Lynne Jackson about the online course from Connected Families called Sensitive and Intense Kids. Lynne​ has over 27 years of experience as a Paediatric Occupational Therapist working with children with sensory processing disorder, ADHD (including her own kids!), OCD, ODD and autism spectrum disorders. As a speaker, certified life coach, podcaster, and author, Lynne has helped thousands of parents learn to be peaceful, purposeful, and confident. In 2002, she and her husband, Jim founded Connected Families, a ministry that helps parents learn to embody God’s grace in the midst of family life. Links:https://connectedfamilies.org/https://connectedfamilies.org/courses/sensitive-intense-kids/

Sheldon and Valerie talk about the age old when/then lie. The idea that our contentment and gratitude is conditional on something being attained or achieved and how we tend to justify unhealthy behaviour in trying to achieve that condition. We talk about how the escape from this cycle is in rejecting the lie, holding to the promises of God and living with contentment and gratitude.

Sheldon and Valerie return to their conversation about having a Rule of Life. This is something they learnt about from Ken Shigamatsu in his book “God in My Everything”. Ken talks about how we can experience God in every part of our lives when we are intentional in the way we live, caring for and growing in our spirit, mind and body. He says a rule of life is “simply a rhythm of practices that empowers us to live well and grow more like Jesus by helping us experience God in everything.”

What a blessing it was for Sheldon and Valerie to sit and visit with Scott and Joanne Williams this past year. They are two people that absolutely love Jesus and you will hear that in their marriage story.Scott and Joanne have a story of redemption, forgiveness, healing and God’s faithfulness. They have the honour of leading marriage ministries at their home church, HopeCity. They are believers in inviting people into their story - mentors in their life have been an integral part of their healing journey. They love serving marriages, families and ultimately God who has done so much for them. Be encouraged that no story is beyond redemption. God is faithful to do His most amazing work in the lives of those completely surrendered. Scott and Joanne have a desire that marriages would find hope and healing through their story of brokenness and God’s goodness.They live in Fredericton, NB where they work together in their business and have raised 3 incredible children – Taylor (27), Micah (23) and Tori (21).

Valerie and Sheldon had the privilege of sitting down with their dads, Terry Breker and David Dean, earlier this year to talk about their journey of fatherhood. It was another great episode from 2024, full of personal stories with once again a few tears.

As the year draws to a close we are returning to 4 episodes from 2024. Each week we’ll play an episode from this past year that was highly listened to and ones that Sheldon and Valerie received comments on. Today we are returning to the interview Sheldon and Valerie did with their mothers Brenda Breker and Edith Dean. The interview is about their journey of motherhood and is full of laughter and tears. We trust it will be an encouragement once again.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about some changes they have made to be able to enjoy the Christmas season. It hasn’t always been merry and bright, but there have been unmet expectations, and frustrations over the years. The reason we celebrate is Jesus but the “celebrations” this time of year can be difficult at times.

Ever had the thought… ‘I think my spouse becomes a different person when we are around extended family.’ Sheldon and Valerie have a conversation on what to do if you or your spouse become different around family as well as some reasons why that might be happening. With Christmas right around the corner this is a timely conversation and something that has affected Sheldon and Valerie in the past.Processing Questions:Has a change in you or your spouse around extended family affected your marriage?What's one thing you can do to address this in a healthy way?Blog link from Les and Leslie Parrott - Help! My Spouse Is A Completely Different Person With Family https://www.symbis.com/blog/help-my-spouse-is-a-completely-different-person-with-their-family/?utm_source=Devotion+by+Les+and+Leslie&utm_campaign=b1c418513c-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_11_26_07_36&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_-b1c418513c-138746289&mc_cid=b1c418513c&mc_eid=9930e824af

Sheldon and Valerie continue their conversation on how our sex lives in marriage are intertwined and connected to the rest of our relationship. Today they talk about some differences that could be affecting the physical intimacy in your marriage. Links from episode: Weekend Getaway - https://events.familylifecanada.com/weekend-getaway-marriage-conferencesJava with Juli - https://www.authenticintimacy.com/podcast/Pure Victory - https://www.restoredministries.ca/purevictory

Sheldon and Valerie talk about how our sex lives in marriage are intertwined and connected to the rest of our relationship. So if we want to improve our sex life the first place to start could be to look at the satisfaction and health of the rest of our relationship. Links:Weekend Getaway Pricing - https://events.familylifecanada.com/weekend-getaway-marriage-conferences/#rates-and-offersWeekend Getaway Locations - https://events.familylifecanada.com/weekend-getaway-marriage-conferences/#locations

Sheldon and Valerie sit down with Jared and Courtney LaCoste to talk about their marriage journey. Jared and Courney have been married for 13 years and have called Regina home for the last 4.5 years. They have three kids together ages 9, 8 and 6. Jared works in Regina full time with Athletes in Action as a sports chaplain with the Saskatchewan Roughriders and Regina Pats. Courtney works as a Registered Nurse. They keep busy following their kids around to hockey games, figure skating, gymnastics and football games if they aren’t at home that is where they will be.

Sheldon and Valerie talk A Rule of Life. Something they learnt about from Ken Shigamatsu in his book “God in My Everything”. Ken talks about how we can experience God in every part of our lives when we are intentional in the way we live, caring for and growing in our spirit, mind and body. He says a rule of life is “ simply a rhythm of practices that empowers us to live well and grow more like Jesus by helping us experience God in everything.”

Sheldon and Valerie talk about three ways that Jesus related to people. He was compassionate, made connections and showed courage. There are lessons we can learn from Jesus in relating to our spouse and kids. Compassion is a heart posture that moves us to action. Building connection through question asking and seeking just as Jesus did in his interactions The courage to love the way Jesus did, confront how Jesus confronted and forgive the way Jesus did.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!! Sheldon and Valerie talk about the importance of gratitude and together they process seeing the good or bad in a situation, how we can make a shift in our thinking and the importance of honesty. Processing QuestionsWhat are you thankful for today? What would help you to deal with issues rather than complain about them?Where do you focus more, on the good or the bad, and is it dependent on the situation and person? Why do you think that is?

Sheldon and Valerie talk about realizing we don’t have to manage our spouses emotions. It was so freeing once they realized this and they share reasons that made it difficult for them, but they also share how understanding they don't have o manage each others emotions has been so helpful in their marriage.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about mental load and what has helped them in this area of their marriage. In short, mental load are the things we need to remember in life to keep things going. Mental load is one of those elements of marriage that once again Sheldon and Valerie have had to work on in their marriage, and are still working and learning about this. Mental load was a pain point for many years for them until they had honest conversations, increased awareness in this area, made lists together which also involved fairly dividing things up, and approaching mental load with a teammate perspective.Processing questions from this episode:How do we currently deal with the mental load in our family?What would help us in dealing with the mental load? An honest conversation, increased awareness, making lists together and fairly dividing them, or having a teammate perspective?

Sheldon and Valerie have a conversation with Stacy Bellward from Connected Families about 6 Practical Tips To Tame Your Temper. Though the focus of this episode is on parenting, the tips that are talked about in this episode will help us in our marriages and even at work too. Stacy has worked with Connected Families for over 8 years in many roles, including hosting the Connected Families Podcast, which recently reached 2 million listens. She has been married to her husband, Paul, for 24 years and has 2 young adult daughters. Stacy enjoys Ethiopian coffee, spontaneous mission trips, and supporting missionaries around the world. Connected Families was founded in 2002 by Jim and Lynne Jackson, and is dedicated to providing content and support to empower thoughtful and confident parenting. Their focus is on fostering Christ-centered transformation through a global community of parents, parent coaches, and ministry partners equipped with a biblical parenting framework.This interview is part of a parenting resource called “The Confident Parent Series.” If you would like to receive the videos and other resources that are part of the Confident Parent Series you can sign up for the FamilyLife Canada newsletter at www.familylifecanada.com. And you can watch the first Confident Parent Series video workshop here: "How Can I Keep My Cool When Correcting My Child?" Here are a few other helpful links from Connected Families:Discipline That Connects With Your Child's Heart Course Connected Families PodcastWeekly Parenting Tips NewsletterFree Resource: Helping Kids With AngerFree Resource: 20 Empathy Statements to Show Kids You Really See Them

Sheldon and Valerie talk about what to do when life goes from zero to sixty and it feels like you and your spouse are drifting from the frantic pace. They will share a few things they do that helps them as well as share a little formula to use in your relationship.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about 6 ways we can build trust in our relationship. Intentionality; Consistency; Follow Through; Allowing For Conflict; Admit When We Make A Mistake, and Care For People.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about the tendency to underestimate the difficulty of things and overestimate our abilities at times and how it's good to be realistic and honest with ourselves. The solution to this is to gain understanding and tools so that we can overcome these difficulties. Processing Questions:What are areas where you have underestimated the difficulty of things?What are areas where you have overestimated your abilities?How would being realistic and honest with yourself help in these situations?How can you gain some understanding and tools to help in difficult situations?

Sheldon and Valerie chat with Scott and Joanne Williams. Scott and Joanne Williams live in Fredericton, NB where they work together in their business, raised their children and enjoy church ministry and a life full of rich friendships. They are the proud parents of 3 incredible children – Taylor (27), Micah (23) and Tori (21). Their story is one of redemption, forgiveness, healing and God’s faithfulness. They have the honor of leading marriage ministries at their home church, HopeCity. They are believers in inviting people into their story - mentors in their life have been an integral part of their healing journey. They love serving marriages, families, God’s house and ultimately, their God who has done so much for them. Be encouraged that no story is beyond redemption. God is faithful to do His most amazing work in the lives of those completely surrendered. It is their desire that marriages would find hope and healing through their story of brokenness and God’s goodness.Processing Questions:What points you back to truth when the lies want to take over?Which stigmas about marriage issues have been part of your thinking?What are you holding onto that needs to be surrendered to the Lord?

Sheldon and Valerie talk about lessons they learnt while paddling the Churchill River for 5 days with a group of 20 friends and family. They share some of their highlights and life lessons which include: When you tip you can still smile; It’s ok to lighten the load; Steer towards your destination; Share life with family and friends; Life is an adventure - live it!; Attitude Matters; Soul Care; Learn from others; Heed warnings. FamilyLife Canada Marriage MentoringFamilyLife Canada Weekend GetawaysGroup Rates for Weekend Getaways

Sheldon and Valerie continue their conversation on building culture focusing on building block #4, “write down your core value statements”. The three steps are: Step 1: Think of what you want your values to embody; Step 2: Isolate the unique principles; Step 3: Create memorable language that’s prescriptive and descriptive.Processing Questions:What would creating value statements do in your family?What is one value you would love to cultivate or keep growing in your family?What is one step you could take today towards creating value statements for your family?Carey Nieuwhof Blog 3 Steps to Create Church Core Value Statements (With Examples)

Sheldon and Valerie talk about creating culture in our marriages and families. They chat about a blog by Carey Nieuwhof titled 5 Essential Building Blocks of a Healthy Church Culture and the principles he uses in building church culture.Processing Questions:What is the current culture of your family?What do you want the culture to be?How do you achieve the culture that you want?Carey Nieuwhof Blog 5 Essential Building Blocks of a Healthy Church Culture

Valerie and Sheldon interview Elaine and Darren Lee on their marriage journey. The things they have done well and the things they have learned from along the way.Darren is a Quality Assurance Manager working for a global tech company. Elaine is a Strategic Projects Lead working in Power to Change. Elaine and Darren are passionate about food and travel and they each do equal amounts of eating and cooking, but Darren loves long journeys and hanging out in airports to check out planes, while Elaine prefers to get to the destination as quickly as possible. They both grew up in Christian households but walked away from God for more than 10 years. They rededicated their lives to Jesus in 2018 whilst living in London, UK for 2 years. Darren & Elaine moved from New Zealand to Canada almost 5 years ago (Oct 2019). They lead a Prayer Ministry Team in church and love to see people experience healing and freedom by the work of the Holy Spirit through prayer. They facilitate a 12-step course called STEPS, designed to help people find freedom from unhelpful/unhealthy thought or behavior patterns. They have a heart for caring for people pastorally and hope that sharing their story would help strengthen relationships and marriages. Weekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, you’ll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July!

Sheldon and Valerie interview Pat and Anita Neuman on their marriage journey. The things they have done well and the things they have learned from along the way.Pat and Anita Neuman are actually part of the volunteer team that helps with FamilyLife Canada’s Weekend Getaways in the maritimes. They have been married for 27 years and have 4 children, 3 of whom are out on their own now, and their youngest is going into his last year of high school.They live in New Brunswick, but have previously lived in Ontario, Michigan, and Ethiopia where they served as missionaries. A few years ago, Pat and Anita opened a retreat centre called Ballast Lodge at their home in Johnson’s Mills New Brunswick. The tagline is “a place of stability in the midst of life’s storms”, and that really is the focus of what they’ve created there. Pat and Anita love to serve and bless churches, pastors, and counselors. As well as couples who want to invest in their marriages, and families dealing with grief or loss. Ballast Lodge provides space for solitude, quiet reflection, time in nature, a break from technology, and opportunities to really be present with your spouse or family. It’s located right on the Bay of Fundy, which offers incredible views and lots of space to hike or birdwatch. And on clear days you can see the famous Hopewell Rocks. And it’s open year-round!!!For more information visit Ballastlodge.ca or search Ballast Lodge on FacebookWeekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, you’ll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July!

Valerie and Sheldon talk about what to do if grandparents are being too involved in our lives. In this episode they introduce 3 elements that can help parents navigate the conversation with grandparents that are too involved (1. Be A Team; 2. Make A Game Plan Together; 3. Have The Honest Conversation).Intentional GrandparentingHere is the link that is talked about in the show regarding FamilyLife US and their podcasts on intentional grandparenting.Weekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, you’ll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July!

Sheldon and Valerie talk about being stuck in a gridlock, not the traffic kind but the marriage kind. They unpack the 5 steps to move us out of gridlock identified in the book “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” by Dr. John Gottman. Step 1 - Be A Dream Detective; Step 2 - Don’t Solve Rather Seek To Understand; Step 3 - Soothe Each Other; Step 4 - End The Gridlock; Step 5 - Say Thank You.

We have the privilege of having my dad, Terry, and Sheldon's dad, David, on the podcast today and of course Sheldon is here with us also. I will be interviewing them on their journey of fatherhood.

Sheldon and Valerie talk with Randy and Donna Carter (founders of STM Ministries) about their marriage journey. The things they have done well and the things they have learned from along the way.Randy and Donna Carter began speaking at marriage conferences in 2015 after experiencing a renaissance in their own marriage. They quickly discovered that they love sharing, both what they’ve learned over a long marriage, and the stage. They are in demand as marriage speakers whose bible centred, research based talks brim with authenticity, humour, wisdom and empathy. Randy is also a seasoned youth speaker and youth ministry specialist. Donna is a bestselling author, broadcaster and speaker. They have two daughters, two sons-in-law and two adorable grandchildren.Here is the link to the ADHD Toolkit that is referred to in the episode.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about how we will be remembered. What kind of attributes and character traits, what kind of person do we want to be remembered for? They talk about some things we can all do to make sure our family is getting our best.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about self-care. Why it matters, what it can look like and the benefits of taking care of ourselves. They talk about the balance between loving and serving others while also taking care of our own mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Sheldon interviews Valerie, Brenda Breker (Valerie's mom), and Edith Dean (Sheldon's mom) on their journey of motherhood. This episode is full of laughter and tears and we trust it will be an encouragement to those who listen.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about another 5 strategies we can do to make the switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. This is part 2 of the series. To hear the other 5 strategies tune in to episode 81.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about 5 strategies we can do to make the switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. This is a two part series and next week they will talk about another 5 strategies.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and three markers that will help us determine which mindset we have. Those markers are our expectations, how we communicate and handle conflict.FamilyLife Parenting ConferenceArticle that is discussed in the episode.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about vulnerability; why we should be vulnerable; what happens when we are not vulnerable; and how we can become more vulnerable.FamilyLife Canada

Sheldon and Valerie talk about how to build and restore hope in our relationships.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about why non-sexual touch is important, what it does in a relationship, and what it can look like.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about the concept of how life is meant to be spent.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about 6 factors that we can use to train ourselves to be more resilient. This episode covers the last 3 in this two part series.Here is the link to the Culture Translator that is mentioned in this episode.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about 6 factors that we can use to train ourselves to be more resilient. This episode covers the first 3 in this two part series.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about four guard rails they recommend to have in marriage.

Sheldon and Valerie talk about how we respond when our spouse or kids make an attempt for a positive connection with us, do we turn towards or away from them?