Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

I’m a dad. This topic is close to my heart because giving my kids a hard time in a fun & friendly way is one of the funnest things I get to do on a daily basis. In this episode of Lou Reads I once again delved back into the posts of Reddit to find … Continue reading "Lou Reads episode 141 – Tales of Troll Dads from Reddit"

Well, here we are again. Exploring the marvels of human sexuality. Todays topic is balloon fetishists. AKA: Looners. It’s sad to think that our pre-inflatable forefathers never were able to get their rocks off by squashing a balloon with their butts or high heels until pop. Why, what kind of greater nation could have been … Continue reading "Lou Reads Ep 140 – A Looner Minisode"

Hey, nice to see you again. Please take your clothes off and hang them up over there. In the living room you’ll find a group of open & inviting couples who are looking forward to fucking you. So, good luck with all the fucking. This episode of Lou Reads is all about the wonderful world … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep139 – Swingers Problems from the Forums of Swingers Board"

Hey, do you know a good place to go and talk about prostitutes? Well I do. Especially if you want to talk about prostitutes in and around England. What is this wondrous place you ask? Well it’s the fabulous forums of UK Punting. Uk Punting is a website for the many men in the UK … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep138 – Prostitute Reviews & More from the forum at UK Punting"

Look, I know you said you’re up for anything, so I was thinking that we should go down to Walgreen’s, buy a fuck-load of DXM cough syrup and drink the shit out it. Why? So we can get super high, stupid! Why are you so stupid? Have you already been drinking cough syrup? Is that … Continue reading "Lou Reads Ep137 – The Amazing World of Robo-Tripping. DXM not DMX."

Hey there, are you ready for a fun podcast? You are? Me, too! Okay, lets get started. Wait, before I begin let me take a second to gulp down some air. Why? Oh, because I want to make a series of burps that I will hope you find erotic. What do you mean you don’t … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the forums of The Burp Fetish Forums"

First, let me begin by stating that this episode has given me my new life motto. “If you’re going to talk about dominating something, you should be dominating pussy and money.” Honestly, it’s hard to discuss this episode. I mean without just outright talking about African American sex organs and the white women, and apparently … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of I Love Interracial"

Here, boy! Here, boy! That’s a good human doggy. Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy! Now, feel free to lick my boot. If you found yourself excitedly leaping about and getting ready to lick a boot then do I have a fetish for you! Please, allow me to introduce you to the world … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep134 – All About Human Puppy Play"

You know, as a parent I sometimes feel like I’m doing a terrible job with my kids. Then I read some stories like these and I’m like, “Oh… I guess I’m doing ok after all.” I don’t even know if it is okay for me to say “Enjoy” this episode because its just depressing… I … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep133 – Tales of Crazy Parents"

Hey there, are you interested in peeing in your pants or bed? No? Okay then. How about pooping? Could I talk you into maybe pooping in your pants or diaper. No? How about just wearing the diaper and then if you like it we can negotiate your peeing & pooping in it later? No? Wow… … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep 132 Wet Set – A Panty Peeing & Pooping Paradise"

You know how sometimes you buy a piece of jewelry from an antique store and you can just feel that there is an energy trapped inside? Or when you use a Ouija board that you’re pretty sure may be bringing demons over from the other side into you home? Or you know that feeling you … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep131 – Talk Paranormal To Me"

So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep130 – Vore Discussions from Eka’s Portal"

Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep129 Revisits the Forums of Opiophile.com"

I hope you enjoy this lighter fare as once again we delve into Reddit. Won’t you enjoy this selection of tales of people being treated poorly by jerks while they do their jobs.

How do you cope with your day to day struggles? Do you call your mom to vent or maybe see a psychiatrist? Or do instead slowly become convinced you are having a relationship with a fictional character? That is what is happening on the pages of the forum known as My Little Waifu. I won’t … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the pages of My Little Waifu"

Hey man, can you spare any change? Spare anything? Even a smile helps. Also a lot of drugs to help me forget I beg for a living and sleep on the streets would help more than a smile. I’m just being honest. So this episode is about the worldful world of gutterpunks, crusties, hobos, bums … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep126 – Squat the Planet: Advice for the Homeless by the Homeless"

Look, I love porn. I am a man. I have a sad addiction to watching people who are better at sex than me go at it for unrealistic lengths of time. I love to be reminded of the average to subaverageness of my man parts and that my testicles don’t contain massive amounts of semen … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep125 – Porn Fan Chats from Brazzers Forum"

This episode takes a peek into the world of role playing gamers and the creepy players they occasionally run into. That image joke will make more sense if you listen to the episode. Also, don’t play Tomb of Horrors. Even if you win you’ll probably die in the end.

Ah, the shame of being a virgin. That awful secret that you haven’t gotten some dummy to let you put your penis in them or given up the nappy dug-out to some chump on a camping trip. What a super awful time in life! Well, that is unless you’re super proud of your choice to … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Discussions at Virgin-Forums"

This podcast is going to make you laugh and probably make you a little uncomfortable. Or it might just make you feel sad. It’s unlikely to make you feel horny… unless you actually hang out at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone (Do I have to say it’s NSFW?). Anyway, Its been almost 4 years since I … Continue reading "Lou Reads Revisits the Poz Experience at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone"

Hey all you gun-loving podcast fans out there. I know that maybe when you’re listening to podcasts your situational awareness may not be at its height. So, I implore you to look around while you’re listening to this podcast. Also, while listening, please keep your hand on your holster at all times. One can’t be … Continue reading "Lou Reads 121: Discussions from the Forums of DefensiveCarry.com"

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all! On and by the way….

I hope you find it a breath of fresh air after the last episodes anal destruction theme. I promise no anal anything this episode. If you want to do some anal stuff while you listen that is your God damn business! This episode is basically people sharing dumb stuff they’ve done on drugs. I don’t … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep119: Dumb Things Done on Drugs"

Hey, I’m talking to you! If would you take that 2 liter bottle of soda out of your ass once in a while maybe you could pay attention to me when I tell you that I just read from the highly disturbing pages of Fetlife.com again. What did I read? Well, it just so happens … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep118: Tales of Anal Destruction from FetLife.com"

Hey, 2013 is over! The holiday season is over! What better time than now to look back at the experiences of the retail workers who had to deal with insane shoppers on Black Friday! Ok, I agree. Anytime would have been fine. I picked now. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!! Here’s hoping to another year full … Continue reading "Lou Reads Black Friday Nightmares from AskReddit"

I have never had sex with a famous person but these people (claim to) have… The closest I think I got was harassing Siouxsie Sioux at a bar once. Wait, there was never any chance of me having sex with her. I was just bugging her. People like to have sex because it fun. But … Continue reading "Lou Reads Stories of Hooking Up with Celebrities from Groupies (from AskReddit)"

Hey, next time your pondering taking that razor blade swallowing bet your friends dared you to do, or you’re about to impale yourself with a giant dildo while on your Lil’ Rascal Scooter, take a moment to think of the men and women who work in the local emergency medical services world. Is your stupidity … Continue reading "Lou Reads ep115: True Stories of Emergency Medical Service Workers"

I have no words for how silly this episode is. Look, if you think that your nocturnal emissions, wet dreams, night-spooges, etc… are caused by filthy spirits touching your boy/girl parts, then you should probably get professional help. But, if you don’t want to see a brain doctor then go right on ahead to the … Continue reading "Lou Reads about The Demons that Cause Wet Dreams."

Ok, so you got your hands on a not-yet-illegal, mega-effective, pharmaceutical grade benzodiazapine. This stuff is so powerful that it makes you forget you took it so you keep taking it until you black out and lose days at a time. So what do you do with it? Why, you just jump right in there. … Continue reading "Lou Reads Tales of Phenazepam Drug Trip Nightmares"

This week I’m reading from the forums of The-Niceguy.com. If you really don’t like American women then you are going to enjoy this episode. If you ARE an American woman then… why are so terrible? Ask yourself that! Well, if you don’t want to do your introspection this forum and it’s fed-up-with-feminism members will be … Continue reading "Lou Reads from The NiceGuy (Men Going Their Own Way) Forums"

Who hasn’t been intrigued by the mysteries of the Third Sex. Of course I’m talking about those mysterious, curvy women whose panties conceal a hidden wang. Oh the allure of the being with a woman whose big old shlong you go down on and have enter you. Why wouldn’t everyone prefer that? What’s that you … Continue reading "Lou Reads Ladyboy Pattay Forum"

Look… I know what you did so you should probably just admit it. I mean it will be better than carrying around that guilt with you for years until you share it on a forum on the internet. In this episode you’ll hearing people recounting things they did a children that they are ashamed of. … Continue reading "Lou Reads Tales of Things You Did as a Kid That You’re Ashamed Of"

Happy Birthday, America! How are you planning to celebrate? I was hoping you’d say,”Well Lou, I plan to celebrate by listening to a new podcast!” Well, you’re in luck! The latest episode of Lou Reads is out and its true stories about weird encounters at hotels. So if you’ve ever taken a shit in the … Continue reading "Lou Reads True Stories from Hotel Workers from AskReddit"

Hey, you! Check this out! Nope. Lower… lower… yup! Thats my self-esteem! Oh you thought I was trying to show you my dick? Well, since its out you might as well look at it, too. Feel free to not be impressed. Ok, so this is a forum where people who are titillated by exposing their … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of Dick Flash"

Sorry folks! I’m breaking my long running streak of classy, high-brow topics and delving in the gut churning topic of emergency pooping. As a semi-reformed IBS sufferer its a subject near & dear to my heart. doodie.com My only caveat to this episode is that some of peoples stories actually seem like poop stories that … Continue reading "Lou Reads from AskReddit “Where Is the Worst Place You Ever Took a Shit”"

Thats right, its time to loosen your belt, unbutton your pants and cram just a little more podcast into your fat earholes! Come on, you can do it. Just have someone rub your ears while you’re listening to make sure you take it all in… So this episode I read from a forum called Fantasy … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums at FantasyFeeder.com"

I have to admit, I was getting ready to record something different this week. I was pretty content with my subject. Then something happened. I read a story about the police officer they were calling The Cannibal Cop. The story mentioned that he was on a forum where he and his fellow cannibalism fantasizers hung … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of DarkFetish.Net – Home of the Cannibal Cop and Friends"

The day is finally here! The day I do an episode that is entirely about fisting! I know you thought the day would never come but I finally worked up the courage to push past the tight ring of my resistance to this topic and punch fist my way to the fantastic forums at fistforum.com. … Continue reading "Lou Reads from Fist Forum. All Your Fisting Needs and More!"

Look, we can’t talk here. Obviously, things have been set in motion. The recent events, Sandy Hook, Bengazi, Time Warner Triple-Play, Twinkies, the Super Bowl halftime show and others too obvious to keep listing have set in motion the end of society. So if you’re not a sheeple you need to get your ass to … Continue reading "Lou Reads from the Forums of Survivalist Boards – MY GUNS! MY RIGHTS! OY VEY!"

How to fight demons? Its the question on everyones mind. Well at least the inquiring minds of the wordpress blog knows as Heal the Land. They have a lot of super helpful posts about how to prepare for spiritual warfare, how to expel demons & other super helpful demon related advice. Well, as you might … Continue reading "Lou Reads About How To Fight Demons"

“Look, its not that I didn’t like what you bought for, per se. It’s more that your choice of gift shows me that you don’t know me at all and its making me sad.” If you’ve thought something like this at Christmas then this is the podcast episode for you! Won’t you join me as … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Sucky Christmas Presents from the Something Awful Forums"

The year is almost over! Believe me, I cannot wait to put 2012 behind me. Sadly thats how I felt about 2011, too. I’ll be recording something tonight but before that happens I just wanted to drop off this extrasode gem from 2011. I hope you enjoy it more than a glassful of urine a … Continue reading "Lou Reads Extrasode from the Cum on Food Forums"

Hey! Hanukka is almost over (or over I can’t remember) and its almost Christmas! The guys over at the Something Awful forums have been working super hard on their 4th annual Christmas music collection. I took it upon myself to fire up the Garageband and make a top 10 countdown. There were 87 songs to … Continue reading "Lou’s Top 10 XMAS Countdown from Something Awful’s Goon Made Christmas Music"

Honey, I know you’ve been complaining about being bored with our sex life. Now, I’m not comfortable with your suggestion that we invite another man into the bedroom. However I was thinking that you might be open to inviting a giant fantasy dildo instead. I already spent the money soooo…. Merry Christmas! So here we … Continue reading "Lou Reads about Dragon Dildos from the Forums of Bad Dragon"

You may remember when I read from the forums of the Bronies way back in March of 2011. Well you may have missed this extrasode that was posted on the blog. This story was not from the forum but another site called Pony Chan and involves a person using My Little Pony to help them … Continue reading "Lou Reads Extrasode from Ponychan. How My Little Pony Helped a Man Confront His Abusive Step-Father"

Oh hey, just getting ready to call it quits after being up for the past 80 hours so I thought I’d wrap it up and post this podcast about Crystal Meth. Its been a while so I thought I’d dip my toe back into the madness of getting spun. Last time around it was more … Continue reading "Lou Reads – More Crystal Meth Tips from Drugs-Forum"

Well, if Hurricane Sandy did one good thing over these last couple of days its that it gave me time to edit this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! A silver lining to the whipping winds and flood tides. I’m sure you’ll agree. So, hold onto to your puke and get ready to … Continue reading "Lou Reads episode 98! Emetophiles talk about Hot Puke."

Just stopping in to drop off a little minisode for you. This was a recording done for a fan of the podcast. It was requested as a birthday gift. I figure since this was recorded in April it might be okay to share by now. If you want a recording for your friends birthday please … Continue reading "Lou Reads minisode: How Can I Become a Juggalo?"

Look, I know this topic is probably going to split my listenership into two groups. Those who love animals and those who love animals for their hot wet love holes. Well, now that you’re in your two separate groups I expect you to fight to the death! Well, maybe before you do that you should … Continue reading "Lou Reads Arguments Against Bestiality & Why They Fail"

Have you ever lost something of value mysteriously? You may have thought it was a your thieving junky son, home from college! But perhaps there is something more magical afoot! Have you heard invisible people singing? It doesn’t mean you’re having a psychotic episode or that your forgot you’re wearing an iPod. It could be … Continue reading "Lou Reads all about Real Faeries!"