KNOCK IT OFF Podcast

CostcoWhere practicality meets paradise for the modern suburban familyAudio version of written post on Knockitoff.Substack.comKnow a Costco lover or someone you’re trying to convert? Share this piece! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Are You Ready For It?Reflections from the final show of Taylor Swift’s 2023 North American Eras TourAudio version of post appearing on Knockitoff.Substack.comShare with your favorite Swiftie or someone you’re trying to convert!Thanks for reading KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

I Just Wanted to BowlSome things are worth preserving in the modern ageAudio version of written piece appearing at Knockitoff.Substack.comKnow an old soul who’d just want to bowl? Share this with them!Thanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Yes, We canLet’s Show up for the U.S. National Team competing in the 2023 FIFA Women’s World CupAudio version of written post appearing on Knockitoff.Substack.comThanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

First thing first. Have you heard of the enneagram? If not, allow me to explain it to you.The enneagram is an ancient personality typing system. I know, I know. Yet another personality test. We take enough of those at the Human Resources department. However, I love the enneagram because it is so deeply rooted in the experience of what it is to be human. It ebbs and flows. It’s not stuck on one number, recognizing that we fluctuate as living, breathing souls. The foundations of the enneagram have been circulating for a long time.The traditional enneagram is in relative infancy, developed in the 1960’s by a man named Oscar Ichazo, according to enneagraminstitute.com. However, the philosophy is formulated from a variety of ancient wisdoms from the Christian, Judaism, Taoism, Buddhism, and Greek traditions.I dig a strong personality test because it assists us to delve further into understanding ourselves and how we relate to one another in this madhouse of a world. It helps answer the age-old question of why we are the way that we are — a phrase I often utter to myself in traffic regarding the driving behaviors of other people.I believe I was introduced to the enneagram by Richard Rohr, a spiritual author and teacher who trained in the Franciscan priest tradition. Side note: he is a fascinating mystic. The enneagram is composed of nine different personality types. Typically, a person self-identifies most with a particular number and often has some of the personality characteristics of the number closest to their primary number as well (i.e. an enneagram four has either a three wing or a five wing, an enneagram nine has either a one wing or an eight wing). It is normal to find some of oneself in most of the numbers but a person will likely identify more so with one number type. DANIELA-DESIGNS//GETTY IMAGESI quickly binged a couple of books and a few podcasts on the topic. I took a test. I took a different enneagram test. They both revealed I was a “one.” I checked in with a few close friends and family members to see if this “sounded like me.” They concurred. True to a one’s form, I had to ensure I was typing myself correctly, the first time. Ones are often called the reformers, the perfectionists, the idealists. Sounds kind of boring.A key pattern of being a one is a constant self-critique. How could I have done that better? What did I do wrong? This ties into the need for perfection. Ones have very high standards of self and others and tend to judge people often because of this. They like to follow the rules (and feel the world would be a better place if others would follow suit), they will sacrifice pleasure by working too hard or forgoing delightful activities because it feels irresponsible. They have learned to control their emotions, feeling like they have done something bad when they reveal them to others.Being a one, as a parent, has opened up pandora’s box of questioning of self and why I react or do things the way I do them when raising little humans. The self critic (highly characteristic of a one) has intensified brutally. The critic of others and the correct order of life has intensified. These developments have begged for heightened awareness. This reflective writing may be my feeble attempt to feed the continuum of growth as I journey the path of an enneagram one, raising three children.In order to help the reader understand this perspective, I have compiled the following list of examples that may describe what the day-to-day operations of being a one is like. The list is not at all exhaustive, nor fact-checked with the enneagram experts. It is meant to provide insight (and ideally, a chuckle or two) to the reader as to the challenges this number faces.* You internally criticize the daycare parking lot situation every time you pull up, lamenting as to why people choose to park directly next to one another when there is a full empty row across the way (literally a three second walk) knowing that we all have young children to unload and massive car doors to swing open. This is not the proper way to do things. Let’s work smarter, people.* When you pick your kiddo up and do a quick once-over, you immediately notice he is wearing two different sized shoes, and both are meant for the right foot (one is his big brother’s and three sizes too big). Your mind begets the question “How did this happen and why?” You may call your spouse to bring the correct shoe to basketball practice and their first reaction is to laugh (how refreshing, and also, how definitely NOT a one).* Feeling morally damaged when someone interrupts your thoughts, work, writing, etc.* Burning holes with your eyeballs into the same item lying on the floor as you pass by it over and over again. You decline to pick it up and put it away, however, because it’s not your responsibility, not your item. It is someone else’s responsibility to fulfill. Still, it haunts you.* Contemplating for the better part of a decade if and when you should go

Will You Have Another? Reflections on the size of our brood Audio version of written post on Knockitoff.Substack.comThanks for reading KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Mom . . . Do You Want a Blanket?A lesson in being vulnerable with our children.Audio version of written post at Knockitoff.Substack.comSubscribe for free to receive new work every Sunday. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

The Power of the StreakExpanding on the concepts in Kara’s first bookAudio version of written post appearing at Knockitoff.Substack.comSubscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

The Most Magical Place on EarthReflections from my time as an unwitting Disney passholderAudio version of post on Knockitoff.Substack.comSubscribe for free to receive new stories every Sunday! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

How Taking Coffee Black Dropped the Freshman 15 and BeyondA lesson in finding contentmentAudio version of post appearing at Knockitoff.Substack.com We want to wish a very Happy Father’s Day to any dad who may be reading, especially to our own Dad and our husbands (who, lets face it, may or may not be reading). We are so very grateful to have them all in our lives.Thanks for reading KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

You Think It’s Overkill?We go BIG for recitals.Audio version of post appearing on Knockitoff.Substack.comThanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

You might know by now that at a certain point in our childhood, we moved to sunny California. But not the California that comes to mind when you think of the great Pacific Coast or the Hollywood sign or the cinematic scene painted by the “Real” Housewives of Beverly Hills. No, we lived in the middle of the Mojave desert in a small, rather isolated town of about 25,000 people along Route 395.Our dusty city was known as Ridgecrest. Its claim to fame was being the epicenter of earthquakes in the United States. Rumor has it that Ridgecrest also had the highest number of teenage pregnancies per capita in the country at the time, a statistic the city probably wouldn’t want to claim. The initial settlers called the town “Crumville,” with the official name being settled on in 1941 as Ridgecrest (following an intense race between Sierra View and Gilmore). Naturally, we took to calling it Crumville nonetheless.While we are on the topic of Ridgecrest anecdotes, here’s one more piece of trivia for you. The recently-filmed iconic scene with Tom Cruise in the airplane hanger appearing in the intro and ending of “Top Gun: Maverick” took place at the Inyokern airport, a sleepy pass-through town of 857 residents just outside the city limits of its big sister, Ridgecrest. When Kara watched the movie, she recognized the scene without knowing in advance where it was filmed. Dad, a private pilot, used to fly out of Inyokern airport, sometimes with one or more kids as passengers.There isn’t a whole lot to do in Ridgecrest, probably owing to its location, its dry heat, and its size. (The teenage pregnancy rumor is gaining more and more traction….) One summer, while we were attempting to entertain ourselves “laying out” in the backyard on beach towels while our little brother caught massive lizards with his buddy, our parents gave us an incredible gift.They bought a boat.This was a big deal. First, there were the financials. We have no idea what was paid for the boat or how it all came about other than to know that it was purchased used from a family friend, but we could sense this was an investment in fun like no other our parents had ever made. Even as young kiddos, we were intuitive enough to realize that mom and dad had taken a big leap on this adventure.Second, there were the logistics. Where in the desert could one use a boat? How would we learn the pasttime? What would we do on said boat?Third, there was the most important question: when could we take her for the first ride? (Somehow, the two of us missed out on the infamous inaugural outing that included rescuing two young men from a capsized fishing boat. We think it was probably because of a dance performance and a soccer game. But we rarely missed another trip.)About the logistics, dad found the perfect spot in Lake Isabella, just a “short” one-and-a-half hour ride away from our town. On designated boat days, we’d all pile in the blue Suburban with our Bayliner bowrider in tow, and drive out to the lake while fighting over how high to put the A/C and being threatened to “lose rear control” if we couldn’t figure it out among ourselves.As we rounded the corner nearing the lake, we’d spot the sign for the “Dam Korner,” a cleverly named fuel spot and mini mart. This sight would immediately trigger our taking serious license with saying the word dam as many ways and times as possible. We knew we were pushing the bounds when we started calling it the “dam it station,” so we’d typically dial it back at that point.Anyone who owns a boat knows the amount of money and prep work that continues to go into it even after it is acquired. To drive home this point, our dad often says that “BOAT” stands for “bring on another thousand.”To help our parents spend that initial wad, our first order of business was to get our hands on a catalog from Overton’s. Before the days of Amazon and easy shipping from Dick’s and like sporting-goods stores, Overton’s was the one and only source for all things boating. (We’re happy to report that Overton’s is still in business!) We ordered up a slew of O’Neill life jackets in all sizes and bright colors. We got some water skis and ropes. And we purchased Wild Thing.What is Wild Thing, you ask? It’s the name we awarded to a large inflatable rocket that multiple kids could ride at once while trailing behind the boat, waves splashing in our faces, dancing as we held on for dear life, simultaneously singing our famous theme song: “WILD THING . . . You make my heart sing. You make everything groovy. Wild thing. Wild thing, I think I love you. But I wanna know for sure . . .” (Wild Thing looked somewhat similar to this, currently available online from Overton’s, but without so many bells and whistles and bumps to keep the kids onboard. It was the 90’s, man.)Learning how to become a boater seemed to come quite naturally to dad. Mom had her strengths—including packing the most delicious turkey sandwiches, fried chicken, and Chips Ahoy cookies for our outings—but

Stick it to MeThe toddler stage is not for the faint of heartAudio version of post on Knockitoff.Substack.comThanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Why I Chose to Pressure Wash on Mother’s DayA lesson in finding solitude through sprays and humsAudio version of post on Knockitoff.Substack.comThanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new posts every Sunday and support our work. Knockitoff.Substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

From Us to YouA love letter to all mothering figures.Audio version of post appearing at Knockitoff.Substack.comSubscribe for free and receive new posts every Sunday! Please rate and review. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

‘It’s Over?!’ ‘It’s Over.’ ‘So…How’d I do?’A lesson on mourning the end of youth sports. Audio version of post at Knockitoff.Substack.comSubscribe for free at Knockitoff.Substack.com to support our work and receive new posts every Sunday! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

An Open Letter to Ronald GladdenThe Hero of Jury DutyWe interrupt our regularly-scheduled Sunday programming on motherhood, life, and all things in between to write an open letter to Ronald Gladden, the only real person in the hit Amazon mockumentary, “Jury Duty.”**Special thanks to Johnny Mac of The Daily Comedy News Podcast for turning us onto Jury DutySubscribe for our weekly posts on life, motherhood, and all things in between. Knockitoff.Substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Smile! It’s Picture Day!A candid convo about an outmoded tradition.Audio version of post appearing at Knockitoff.Substack.comThis week, we tried a new writing/reading style. Instead of a collaborative story with a collective voice, we had a conversation in which we each gave our own insight. Let us know what you think about this style! We also started a chat for subscribers where we are sharing our spring kid picture experiences. Find it at Knockitoff.Substack.com and tell us all about your picture woes.Thanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free to receive new written posts every Sunday and support our work. Knockitoff.Substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

What Are Your Goals?Avoid Emotional Breakdown at Gym ClassAudio version of post appearing at knockitoff.substack.comPlease subscribe for weekly posts! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

I Feel So Bad For YouA lesson on humility in writing. Audio version of the post appearing on knockitoff.substack.comPlease subscribe for weekly posts! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

Just Blow on Her FaceThe universe has a funny way of paying us backThanks for listening to KNOCK IT OFF! Subscribe for free at knockitoff.substack.com to receive new posts and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

DANGLE THE CARROTA lesson in being a dugout mom (Audio version of post)Subscribe to weekly posts for free at knockitoff.substack.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com

WARNING: THIS PARTICULAR EPISODE CONTAINS AN EXPLICIT WORD. DUE TO A GLITCH, WE ARE UNABLE TO MARK ONE EPISODE AS EXPLICIT. IT’S F.A.C.!A lesson in not taking life too seriously.Audio version of post appearing on knockitoff.substack.com Subscribe for free at knockitoff.substack.com and receive weekly posts every Sunday! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit knockitoff.substack.com