Kids These Days

"Their behavior is a longing for connection."If you’ve ever found yourself in a "boiling point" moment—where a simple request turns into a door-slamming explosion—then this episode is your permission slip to stop being a "Fixer" and start being an Anchor.In this conversation, I’m joined by Emma Abel Loach, M.Ed., Ed.S., LMFT, the Clinical Director at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services and a triple-certified supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We slow down the "Family Cycle" to look at the unspoken stories happening under the surface of our most stressful parenting moments.Key Takeaways from This Episode:The Family Cycle: How parents and children get caught in "meaning-making" loops. Often, what we see as "bad behavior" is actually an unclear signal for a deep attachment longing.The "Manager" vs. The "Anchor": Why our instinct to jump straight to consequences often misses the point of the behavior.The 33% Rule of Repair: Emma shares the research-backed relief that we only need to get the "repair" right about one-third of the time to build a secure attachment with our kids.Accountability over Auditing: Why the parent’s primary job is to regulate themselves first before attempting to co-regulate with their child.Setting Boundaries with Empathy: How to hold a firm "No" (like the Billy’s house example) while still making your child feel seen and understood in their disappointment.Slowing Down the Cycle: A 3-Step FrameworkEmma outlines how to handle a "rupture" (like a door slam or a shutdown in the car):The Internal U-Turn: The parent regulates their own nervous system first. You cannot be curious if you are in a state of panic or rage.The Curious Approach: Re-enter the space with your child by acknowledging the "suck." Use phrases like: "I saw that, and I get that it sucked. I want to understand what that was like for you".The Logical Rewrite: Once the nervous systems are calm, move into the second half of repair—the "left brain" retelling of what happened and finding a way forward together.Resources & Links:Connect with Emma: Learn more about her work at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services.Work with IBH: Visit Integrated Behavioral Health for therapy and assessments in Denver and across the United States.Featured Resource: Download our Internal U-Turn Workbook to help identify these cycles with your parenting partner.IBH Newsletter: Join the community and start your 3-Day Parenting Reflections journey.Found this episode helpful? Please rate us 5 stars and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more families looking for their steady ground. ⚓️✨Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“I looked, and I don’t see a tie.”For many parents, this sentence is the beginning of a long, frustrating journey of chasing symptoms like fragmented sleep, chronic gas, and delayed motor milestones without ever finding the root cause.In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Kayla Culbertson, a pediatric Occupational Therapist and specialist in tethered oral ties. Dr. Kayla shares her own "in the trenches" story of how an oral tie release for her son resolved 8 days of constipation and changed his nervous system overnight.We move beyond the anatomy of a "string under the tongue" to explore the Inside-Out reality: how the fascia in our mouths is connected to a "Frontal Line" that travels all the way to our toes. If the system is tight at the top, the whole baby feels the flood.In this episode, we discuss:The Frontal Line: Why oral ties cause "fisted" hands, curled toes, and hiked-up shoulders.Function over Anatomy: Why a "posterior" tie can be invisible to the eye but devastating to a baby's regulation.The Vagus Nerve & GI Connection: How the tongue's position at the palate acts as the "off-switch" for the survival brain.Compensations vs. Growth: Why you don’t "grow out" of ties; you simply grow into lifelong workarounds (and the toll that takes).The Therapy Bridge: Why you should never "just cut the tie" without prepping the nervous system first.Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days. Links & Resources:Dr. Kayla's website: https://www.thriveandshinetherapyllc.com/IBH Practice Website: www.integratedbhs.comNewsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and tricks.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Morning stress, "tummy aches," and the desperate plea to stay home—school refusal is one of the most taxing challenges a family system can face. In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn is joined by Dr. Alex Littleton to discuss the "School Refusal Trap." They dive deep into why our well-intentioned efforts to ease a child's distress can inadvertently reinforce their anxiety. Using the framework of the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) protocol, they provide a roadmap for parents to move from "managing" the morning crisis to becoming a "Secure Base" for their child's resilience.In this episode, we cover:Defining School Refusal: The difference between a "bad morning" and a persistent pattern of avoidance.The Accommodation Trap: How "rescuing" our kids from discomfort tells the brain that school is actually dangerous.The SPACE Protocol: Why treating child anxiety through the parents is often more effective than traditional therapy.Supportive Statements: The two-ingredient formula (Validation + Confidence) that shifts the internal narrative.Red Light vs. Yellow Light: Why negotiating with an anxious child only "speeds up" the anxiety.Home as "School": Practical steps for changing the home environment when a child stays home.The Snowball Effect: Why building resilience in one small area helps the rest of the accommodations "melt away."Links & Resources:Guest Info: Dr. Alex Littleton's Practice LinkClinical Resource: The SPACE Treatment Official SiteSupport: Integrated Behavioral Health - Anxiety & School Refusal SupportPodcast: Subscribe to Kids These Days on Apple and Spotify.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" parenting insights.Newsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base and practical clinical tools.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“I feel like I’m failing on all fronts.” “I’m always the one left out.”If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know that the word "step" often carries a heavy weight. Between the Disney stereotypes of evil step-parents and the internal feeling that your family was born from a place of "brokenness," it is incredibly easy to get stuck in a state of high-alert. We try to "manage" the dishes and the schedules, but we often forget to look at the Human Being right in front of us.In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Alex Harrison, LCSW—a stepfamily coach and card-carrying member of the "Bonus Mom Club." They peel back the layers of the "Inside-Out" stepfamily experience, exploring why repartnering feels like a redemptive joy for adults but a series of losses for children. Whether you are a "Stuck Insider" feeling pulled in two directions or a "Stuck Outsider" feeling overlooked, this conversation provides the clinical anchors you need to move from chaos to calm.In this episode, we discuss:The "Disney" Narrative: Why we need to acknowledge the "implication of brokenness" baked into the step-parent identity.The Insider-Outsider Dynamic: A deep dive into the universal feeling of being either ganged up on or completely overlooked in decision-making.The "Stuck Insider" Tension: Trying to decide who comes first—the marriage or the kids? You feel pulled because you are. We discuss why you have to hold both with equal tension.The "Nail in the Coffin": Understanding the grief and "magical thinking" kids experience when a parent repartners.The Polarization Trap: Why biological parents want more warmth while step-parents want more structure—and how to bridge that gap.The Gymnast on the Rings: A powerful visual for balancing the needs of your partnership and your children without letting either go.The 3-to-7 Year Groove: Why your family isn't "clicking" yet and why the research says you are actually right on schedule.Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days. Links & Resources:Alex Harrison, LCSW: Learn more about Alex’s coaching and clinical work at https://www.stepfamilyreset.com/.Stepfamily Support: Explore our IBH stepparent support groups at www.integratedbhs.com.The Internal U-Turn Workbook: A resource for navigating the "messy middle" of family transitions.Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly reflections on building a Secure Base.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“Is this decision going to break my child?”When a family faces divorce, parents often spiral into intense fear and shame. We worry that our choice to pursue a healthier life will dismantle the Secure Base we’ve worked so hard to build. But as we often say at IBH: our children don’t need us to be perfect; they need us to be regulated, honest, and present.In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Karalynn Royster—child psychologist and creator of the Kids First Co-Parenting System—to move parents from a state of anxiety into a place of empowerment. We explore the "Inside-Out" reality of divorce: how to navigate the "messy middle" of co-parenting, why one secure adult is enough to buffer a child’s stress, and how to tell your kids the truth without "gaslighting" their intuition.In this episode, we discuss:The "Messy Middle" of Divorce: Why distress is a healthy response to a major life stressor and how to help your kids move through it, not around it.The "Flu Shot" Metaphor: Understanding that short-term discomfort (like a separation) can lead to long-term health and a more regulated household.The Best Way to Tell Your Kids: A step-by-step guide for the "Big Talk"—why you need to be concrete and why it’s never a one-time conversation.The Power of One: The research-backed truth that it only takes one secure, loving adult to buffer the stress of even the most high-conflict transitions.Validation vs. Gaslighting: How to be honest about your own "flooding" and anger without burdening your child with the adult details.The Internal U-Turn for Co-Parents: How to regulate your own nervous system when your ex triggers your "Survival Brain."Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days. Links & Resources:Dr. Karalynn Royster: Discover the Kids First Co-Parenting System and more resources at Dr. Royster’s Website.The Kids First Podcast: Listen to Karalynn’s deep dives into divorce and high-conflict dynamics.The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: A resource for IBH listeners to find their own "Smart Brain" during transitions.Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily "Inside-Out" parenting insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“If I just try harder, my child wouldn't need this.” “I can exercise my way out of this depression.”As parents, the pressure to "optimize" our families often turns us into "Human Doings" who are stuck in a state of high-alert. We treat clinical struggles as personal failures. But what if the path to a healthier family wasn't through perfection, but through balance?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Sara Nudd, PMHNP, founder of The Mama Co-op. Sara shares her incredible "in the trenches" journey from being a 21-year-old mom navigating a medical crisis in the pre-internet 90s to becoming an expert in pediatric and maternal mental health. We dive deep into the science of ADHD medication, the safety of maternal mental health support during pregnancy, and why Good Enough parenting is actually the gold standard.In this episode, we discuss:The Internet Gap: Navigating medical crises in the 90s vs. the information overload of parenting today.Data vs. Connection: Why your child’s behavior is a more important "data point" than any app or thermometer.The Inhaler Reframe: Why mental health medication is a tool for regulation, much like an asthma inhaler is a tool for breathing.ADHD Simplified: How stimulants balance dopamine and norepinephrine to support (not change) the existing brain structure.Maternal Mental Health & Pregnancy: The evidence-based truth about staying stable on medication while trying to conceive or during pregnancy.The 100% Mistake Guarantee: Why making mistakes—and the repair that follows—is more vital for your child than doing it "perfectly."Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days. Links & Resources:The Mama Co-Op: Learn more about Sara’s practice and parent coaching at The Mama Co-Op WebsitePostpartum Support International: PSI Website– A vital resource for perinatal mental health.Ollie’s Branch: Support for families navigating congenital heart defects at Ollie’s Branch WebsiteInstagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" reflections.Work with IBH: Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation at www.integratedbhs.comLegal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“Mommy, my tummy hurts.” It’s the phrase that can derail a morning and send a parent’s stress levels through the roof. When medical tests come back "normal" but your child is still in pain, where do you turn?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Cat Naclerio, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Digestive Health Institute. They pull back the curtain on the GI issues to explain the fascinating science of the brain-gut axis. Dr. Cat explains why our brains and guts are essentially "text messaging" each other all day and why a "sensitive" gut is a very real medical reality—even when nothing shows up on an X-ray.In this episode, we discuss:The "Text Message" Metaphor: How the brain and gut communicate through the nervous system.Medical Red Flags: When to see a specialist vs. when to focus on stress management (fever, weight loss, and other signs).The "Normal Test" Reframe: Why "everything is normal" is actually good news, not an indication that the pain is "in their head."The Trap of Pain Check-Ins: Why asking "How is your stomach now?" can accidentally make the pain worse.The Path Back to School: Why returning to routine is a clinical necessity for healing functional abdominal pain.Nervous System Resets: Practical tools like diaphragmatic "Belly Breathing" and how to teach them to kids and teens.Whether you’re navigating chronic nausea, constipation, or the "school morning stomach ache," this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "fixing the pain" to "restoring the life."About Our Guest: Dr. Cat Naclerio is an Assistant Professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and a pediatric psychologist in the Digestive Health Institute at Children's Hospital Colorado. She specializes in evidence-based behavioral skills to strengthen the mind–gut connection.Links & Resources:App Recommendation (Teens): Breathe2Relax for guided diaphragmatic breathing.App Recommendation (Kids): Sesame Street: Breathe, Think, Do for younger children.Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter.Work with Us: If you are seeking a consultation for your child’s GI-related anxiety, book a complimentary 15-minute call with Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" parenting insights.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Did you know that 90% of your child’s serotonin—the "feel-good" neurotransmitter—is actually made in their gut, not their brain?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with functional and integrative medicine expert Dr. Laura Vanston to demystify the "gut-brain connection." We often think of anxiety as a "head problem," but Dr. Laura explains why it is a bi-directional highway. When the gut is inflamed or the microbiome is out of balance, it sends distress signals straight to the nervous system, often keeping our kids (and ourselves) stuck in a state of "fight or flight."In this episode, we discuss:The Bi-Directional Highway: How the brain talks to the gut (butterflies!) and how the gut talks back to the brain.The Serotonin Secret: Why gut health is the foundation for mood, focus, and anxiety regulation.P.O.P (Plants On Purpose): Simple, non-overwhelming ways to add fiber and "rainbows" to even the pickiest eater’s diet.The Vagus Nerve & Breathwork: Why slowing down our breathing is the "off-switch" for the sympathetic nervous system and how it allows the gut to actually heal.Beyond the Multivitamin: The specific roles of Vitamin D, Iron (Ferritin), Zinc, and Magnesium in supporting a child’s emotional stability.Practical "Micro-Shifts": From fermented ketchup to "stair breathing," we explore tools that work for real, busy families.If you’ve ever wondered why your child’s "nervous stomach" seems to coincide with their biggest meltdowns, this episode will give you the physiological "why" and a roadmap for repair.About Our Guest: Dr. Laura Vanston is an integrative pediatric nurse practitioner who has dedicated her career to helping parents navigate health and wellness for their kids. She loves helping kids improve gut health and their gut-brain connection to help learning, their immune system, sleep, and more!Links & Resources:Fermented Ketchup Recipe: Download here!Integrative Health: Dr. Laura mentions Tiny Health for individualized gut mapping. Check out her website for more info!Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for parenting tips.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more on the Internal U-Turn and the Gut-Brain connection.Website: Learn more about our specialized services at www.integratedbhs.com.#KidsTheseDays #InsideOutParenting #GutBrainConnection #Microbiome #ChildNutrition #AnxietySupport #ADHD #SecureBase #FunctionalMedicine #ParentingUturnLegal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

“I’m stupid.” “I’m going to fail.” “If I don't get an A, I'll never get into college.”As parents, hearing our children engage in negative self-talk can trigger our own "Internal Critic." We feel the urgency to fix it, to argue against it, or to problem-solve the pain away. But what if our "fix-it" mode is actually closing the door on connection?In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Kathleen Diaz to define what negative self-talk actually is—and why "unhelpful self-talk" might be a more effective term. We dive deep into the experience of the inner critic, exploring why children and teens ruminate and how their behaviors—like defiance or withdrawal—are often communicating the disappointment they can't yet put into words.In this episode, we discuss:The Problem-Solving Trap: Why "normalizing" or "investigating" a child’s failure can accidentally lead to invalidation.Behavior as Communication: How to spot the inner critic in teens who aren't speaking their thoughts out loud.The Parent’s Internal U-Turn: What to do when your child’s struggle triggers your own fears of not being a "good enough" parent.The Power of Repair: How to move back into your "Smart Brain" (Prefrontal Cortex) and fix a conversation when you’ve reacted from a place of fear or dysregulation.Precision over Frequency: How to communicate expectations in a way that builds a "Secure Base" rather than a "Manager" dynamic.Whether you are navigating an elementary schooler’s math meltdowns or a teen’s high-stakes anxiety, this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "investigator" to "vessel of support" through curiosity and radical accountability.About Our Guest: Dr. Kathleen Diaz is a licensed therapist specializing in child and adolescent mental health, focusing on evidence-based strategies to help families navigate emotional regulation and the complex inner dialogue of the modern student.Links & Resources:Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and practice resources.Podcast Library: Catch up on previous episodes of Kids These Days.Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily reflections and the messy middle of parenting.Website: Learn more about our specialized evaluations and therapy services at www.integratedbhs.com.Dr. Kathleen's BioLegal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Navigating the school system can feel like learning a foreign language. Between IEPs, 504 plans, MTSS, and specialized educational jargon, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and unsure of how to get their child the support they actually need.In this episode, Dr. Courtney is joined by Rachel Schopp, a K-12 veteran, former administrator, and educational consultant. Rachel acts as a "translator" for families, helping them cut through the noise and move from guessing to becoming informed, powerful advocates.If you’ve ever wondered if your child’s ADHD or anxiety warrants a formal plan, or if you’ve been told "the school is already doing everything they would do in an IEP," this episode is for you.In this episode, we discuss:The "Environment vs. Curriculum" Rule: Rachel’s simple framework for distinguishing a 504 Plan (environmental accommodations) from an IEP (individualized instruction and curriculum changes).Civil Rights vs. Education Law: Why a 504 is a lifelong protection and an IEP is a legally binding educational mandate.The "MTSS" Trap: Why "informal" supports aren't enough and how to respond when a school says a formal plan isn't necessary.The Power of the Paper Trail: Why "if it isn't in an email, it didn't happen" and how the clock starts the moment you hit send.Collaboration over Confrontation: How to draft a "Soft Startup" email to your child's teacher that assumes positive intent while holding firm boundaries.The Intuition Factor: Learning to trust your gut as the expert on your child, especially when "school performance" doesn't match the struggle you see at home.A Tool, Not a Label: Reframing special education as a temporary scaffold to build self-advocacy skills, rather than a lifetime commitment.Resources & Connect with Us:Work with Rachel: Find resources and advocacy support at Allied Education.School Visit Questionnaire: Going on school tours and having a clear plan on which questions to ask, will empower you with the information you need to make the best school choice for your child and your family! Check it out.The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: If school stress is triggering conflict in your marriage, download our roadmap to break the cycle here.Book a Consultation: If you are seeking a neuropsychological evaluation (ADHD, Autism, or Learning Disabilities) to support your child’s school advocacy, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Follow us for daily "Inside-Out" parenting tips @integratedbh.Keywords: School Advocacy, IEP vs 504, Special Education, ADHD in Schools, Educational Consultant, Parent Advocacy, Kids These Days Podcast, Dr. Courtney Lynn.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

We hear the term "Self-Care" everywhere—usually accompanied by images of three-hour spa days or solo vacations. But for parents in the "messy middle," those things don't just feel rare—they feel impossible. When we can't achieve the Instagram version of self-care, we end up feeling two things: Guilt and Pressure.Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Brittany Wade, a Licensed Psychologist and founder of Thrive Child Psychology. Together, they are stripping away the "luxury" label and reframing self-care as what it actually is: Nervous System Regulation. If you’ve ever felt like getting the dishes done was "self-care," or if you struggle to ask your partner for the rest you actually need, this episode is for you. We’re moving beyond the "to-do" list to help you build a Secure Base for yourself so you can be one for your children.In this episode, we discuss:The Self-Care Myth: Why we need to stop viewing self-care as an "extra" to be earned and start viewing it as a biological necessity for regulation.Productivity vs. Regulation: The hard truth that checking off your to-do list (like cleaning the baseboards or doing the dishes) is productivity, not self-care.The Self-Care Grief Process: Acknowledging and mourning the loss of the "old version" of yourself who had unlimited time for gym sessions and solo travel.Equal vs. Equitable Rest: Why a 50/50 split of chores doesn't account for who is the most "depleted," and how to negotiate for "Equitable Rest" with your partner.Modeling Regulation: Why the "Selfless Parent" narrative actually harms our children, and how modeling self-care provides them with a regulatory toolkit for life.Micro-Regulation: Small, 5-minute shifts you can build into your current schedule—from the "coffee in silence" to the "three breaths in the driver's seat."Episode Timestamps:[03:29] – Redefining Self-Care: Why it’s not a luxury, it’s regulation.[05:53] – The "Guilt and Pressure" cycle: Why self-care often feels like another chore.[08:37] – Self-Care vs. Leisure: Understanding the difference between a hot shower and a round of golf.[12:38] – The Modeling Aspect: Why your kids need to see you taking deep breaths.[14:26] – Practical Strategies: Exercise, family walks, and protecting 30 minutes.[15:50] – The Morning Reset: The clinical value of coffee in silence.[18:43] – Parenting Reframe: Why self-care doesn't always have to be done "alone."[21:55] – The Productivity Trap: Why the dishes are not self-care.[24:51] – Equal vs. Equitable: Navigating depletion levels with your partner.[28:06] – The Grief of Parenthood: Mourning your pre-kid autonomy.[30:58] – Closing Thought: Why self-care makes you a better parent, partner, and person.Resources & Connect with Us:Work with Dr. Brittany Wade: Visit Thrive Child Psychology for specialized support in Illinois and Florida.Identify Your Parenting Values: Grief often clarifies what matters most. Download our Free Values Workbook here.The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: Use this to communicate your needs for rest to your partner without the "Stomp and Slam." Available here.Book a Consultation: If you are feeling chronically burnt out and ready for specialized support, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Join our community for "Inside-Out" insights @integratedbh.Keywords: Parent Self-Care, Nervous System Regulation, Parent Burnout, Dr. Brittany Wade, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days Podcast, Attachment Theory, Secure Base, Motherhood Guilt, Equitable Rest.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

It is perhaps the conversation every parent dreads the most: explaining death to a child. Whether it’s the loss of a pet, a grandparent, or a sudden tragedy in the community, our instinct is to protect—to shield our children from the pain of grief. But as we often discuss on this show, protection isn't about the absence of pain; it's about the presence of a Secure Base.Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by her long-time friend and colleague, Abigail Gellene-Beaudoin, LCSW. Abigail is a Certified Child Life Specialist with deep expertise in palliative care and supporting families through medical trauma, chronic illness, and end-of-life transitions. Together, they pull back the curtain on why we are so afraid to talk about death and how our own "Internal Weather" as parents shapes our children’s ability to process grief.If you’ve been searching for the "right" words to say or if you’re navigating a loss right now, this episode provides a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for moving from overwhelmed to attuned during life’s hardest moments.In this episode, we discuss:Defining Palliative Care: Shifting the focus from "cure" to "comfort" and why this mindset shift is vital for family communication.Anticipatory Grief: The "amorphous" phase that happens before a loss occurs. Why kids sense the tension and how they fill in the blanks with their own (often scarier) stories.Defiance as Communication: Why a child’s opposition or acting out is often a distress signal of powerlessness and a desperate search for control.The 10-Minute "Connection Dosage": How using a timer and Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) can fill a child’s security bucket when the family system is stressed by loss.The "D-Word": Why we must avoid euphemisms like "went to sleep" or "passed away." Abigail provides a specific, concrete script for explaining death (e.g., explaining how the brain and body stop working).The Sturdy Parent: How to model healthy grief by crying in front of your children while reassuring them: "I am sad, but I can handle this and I am still taking care of you."Continuing Bonds: Rituals for keeping a loved one part of the family "fishbowl," from favorite breakfast spots to rainbow window film.Re-Grieving Through Development: Why a child may seem "fine" at age three but experience acute grief again at age six as they begin to understand the permanence of death.About Our Guest: Abigail Gellene-Baudoin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Child Life Specialist (CCLS), and child-centered play therapist dedicated to helping children and families navigate the complexities of healthcare and loss. She is the author of several children’s books designed to provide parents with the scripts they need for life's hardest conversations.Resources & Connect with Us:Abigail’s Book: When Hope Changes (A fillable script for parents sharing difficult news).Recommended Reading: The Invisible String by Patrice Karst.Join our IBH Parenting Newsletter: To get even more valuable and hands-on information.Identify Your Parenting Values: Grief often clarifies what matters most. Download our Free Values Workbook here.The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: When the family system is stressed by grief, conflict often rises. Learn the skills to break the cycle here.Book a Consultation: If your family is navigating a loss and you're seeking specialized therapeutic support, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Keywords: Death and dying, child grief, bereavement, Child Life Specialist, Parenting U-Turn, Attachment Theory, how to talk to kids about death, Palliative Care.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

What does it mean to be a "Modern Dad"? For many fathers, the role has shifted significantly from the previous generation. It’s no longer just about providing financial stability; it’s about being emotionally involved, attuned, and interested in the internal lives of our children. But how do we navigate this shift when we didn't have a roadmap for it?Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Gabe Casher, a clinical psychologist and father who is passionate about supporting dads through the identity transition of parenthood. Together, they explore the "Psychologist to Parent" shift, the trap of linking self-worth to achievement, and why the most powerful thing a father can do is learn the art of a genuine apology.If you’ve ever felt the pressure to "teach" rather than "connect," or if you're trying to break generational cycles of anger-based parenting, this episode is an essential guide for moving from overwhelmed to attuned.In this episode, we discuss:The Identity Shift: Moving from the "Provider" role to the "Attuned Participant" and why the transition to fatherhood changes every other relationship in your life.Achievement vs. Worth: How children challenge the stereotypical link between achievement and self-worth in men, and the healing that comes from being loved for "who you are" rather than "what you do."Breaking Generational Cycles: Navigating the transition from fear-based parenting to predictability and secure attachment.The "I’m Sorry" Practice: Why repair is the most important predictor of a child's psychological health—and how to swallow your pride and own your "stuff."The Phone-Free Reset: A tangible, 5-minute challenge to increase attunement and notice the "Inside-Out" experience of your family.Self-Care for Dads: Reframing time away as "not selfish," but as a necessary recharge to be a kinder, more patient parent.About Our Guest: Dr. Gabe Casher is a Clinical Psychologist in Denver, CO. In addition to his clinical practice, he facilitates a monthly Dad's Coffee Group at The Den in the Highlands, creating a space for fathers to build community, process their experiences, and move toward more intentional, attuned parenting.Resources & Connect with Us:Fatherhood Identity Support: To learn more about Dr. Casher's Dad's Coffee Group and his work with fathers, visit The Den's website.Panorama Psychology: Find Dr. Casher and his team on their website.Identify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free Values Workbook here.Book a Consultation: If you are a father looking for support in your own identity transition, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Join our community @integratedbh.Keywords: Fatherhood, Modern Dads, Parenting U-Turn, Child Development, Emotional Attunement, Attachment Theory, Dr. Gabe Casher, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

But my child can play video games for eight hours straight—they can't possibly have ADHD." If you’ve ever said those words, this episode is for you. We often think of ADHD as a deficit of attention, but in reality, it’s a struggle with Executive Functioning—the brain’s internal management system.Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Stephanie Fox, a clinical psychologist and expert in neurodevelopmental assessments. Dr. Fox brings a unique perspective to the table: she is both a specialist who evaluates ADHD and an "ADHDer" herself, diagnosed in adulthood.Together, they cut through the noise to discuss why ADHD is often missed in girls, how "hyperfocus" is actually a clinical sign of the diagnosis, and why a comprehensive evaluation is a "gift" of self-compassion for your child. If you’re ready to move beyond the labels and understand your child’s brain from the Inside-Out, tune in.In this episode, we discuss:The Focus Myth: Why the ability to hyperfocus on video games, reading, or scrapbooking actually points toward an ADHD diagnosis, not away from it.The Brain's "CEO": A deep dive into Executive Functioning—the management tools we use for task initiation, working memory, and time management.The "Silent" Presentation in Girls: How socialization and perfectionism lead to girls suffering in silence or being misdiagnosed with "just anxiety."Twice Exceptional (2e): The intersection of high IQ and ADHD, and why "good grades" don't mean a child isn't struggling.The "Gift" of Assessment: Why an evaluation isn't about a label, but about providing a "user manual" for your child’s brain to foster self-compassion.Finding the "Jam": How neurodivergent individuals find success by aligning their unique strengths with the right career and environment.About Our Guest: Dr. Stephanie Fox is the founding psychologist at Four Corner Psychological Services. She specializes in comprehensive evaluations for ADHD, Autism, and learning disabilities. Her work is dedicated to helping individuals and families understand their neurobiology to move from shame to empowerment.Resources & Connect with Us:Four Corners Psychological Services: You can find Dr. Fox's practice here.Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter: Get expert tips, practical tools, and encouragement straight to your inbox—designed for parents who want guidance, reassurance, and fresh ideas for raising resilient kids. Sign up here.Book a Consultation: If you suspect ADHD or neurodiversity is playing a role in your family's dynamic, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Join our community @integratedbh.Keywords: ADHD myths, Executive Functioning, ADHD in girls, Neurodiversity, Twice Exceptional, 2e, Child Assessment, Dr. Stephanie Fox, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

No amount of individual therapy or premarital counseling truly prepares you for the emotional "hit" of parenting. When a child screams, refuses to brush their teeth, or struggles at school, it doesn't just trigger our parenting instincts—it often hijacks our relationship with our partner.Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Allison Rimland, LPC, an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Together, they pull back the curtain on "The Cycle"—the reactive pattern of pursuing and withdrawing that keeps even the best parents stuck in high-conflict loops.If you’ve ever felt like your partner is the "bad cop," or if you find yourself "future tripping" about your child's success during a bedtime meltdown, this episode is a roadmap for healing your partnership from the Inside-Out.In this episode, we discuss:The Anatomy of the Cycle: Understanding the roles of the Pursuer (who monitors for closeness) and the Withdrawer (who monitors for peace).The "Soup" of Emotions: Why parenting conflict feels like a "puree" where we can’t distinguish our current stress from our childhood history.The A.R.E. Acronym: A deep dive into Sue Johnson’s framework—Are you Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged?Future Tripping: How our fears about our child's future (e.g., "They'll never be employed!") drive us to be harsh and critical with our partners in the present.The Power of Caregiver Intent: Learning to see the "good intentions" behind a partner’s withdrawal or criticism.Modeling the Repair: Why your kids don't need perfect parents; they need to see how a safe relationship recovers from a messy moment.Your Partner as a Resource: Shifting from "me against you" to "us against the pattern."About Our Guest: Allison Rimland, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Thrive Family Services. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, helping them navigate the complexities of attachment, parenting, and relational healing.Resources & Connect with Us:Read Allison’s Blog: Navigating Differences in Parenting StylesRead Allison’s Blog: Five Things Couples Can Do To Be Good Partners in ParentingVisit Thrive Family Services: thrivefamilyservices.comIdentify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free Values Workbook here.The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: Map your family’s specific conflict cycle and learn the skills to break it. Available here.Book a Consultation: If your partnership is feeling the strain of parenting stress, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.Instagram: Join our community for "Inside-Out" insights @integratedbh.Keywords: Couples Conflict, EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Allison Rimland, Parenting Stress, Negative Cycle, Attachment Theory, Marriage Advice, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at [email protected] to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.