How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

This episode is all about how to manage sibling conflict.  Now let me start by being totally honest and upfront - sibling rivalry, disagreements and fall outs are normal. Your children will want to kill each other at times and really dislike each other most of the rest of the time - and that’s normal, you aren’t a bad parent, you haven’t failed and they are certainly not going to turn into a psyho killer!! However, there are things we do as parents which makes things worse, which we need to stop doing, and there are some new strategies we can employ to help give our children the tools to manage conflict. Here are the highlights: {1:10} You aren't a bad parent {3:08} If you don't see it, you can't referee it {6:00} Be calm and keep separate {9:52} Don't be tempted to get sucked in {12:53} Our children have a right to feel annoyed {15:25} Look at things objectively {19:06} Children measure time differently to us 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I am going to take you through a step by step guide to helping your children move out of their comfort zone. By comfort zone I mean that place where they are coasting - doing things they are familiar with and not stretching themselves beyond that. Moving out of their comfort zone is all about trying new things, meeting new people and all the slightly scary things they always so ‘thank you but no thank you to’ not because they don’t want to do them - rather they feel far too scary to even try. Here are the highlights: {1:50} Supporting our children beyond their comfort zone {4:36} Being get drawn into who's the best parent {8:49} The ladder strategy {11:54} Consolidating step by step {16:28} Helping our children to manage their internal dialogue {20:29} The power of post-it notes {25:17} Visualising the progress 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I am talking about the secrets to school success and it has nothing to do with academics!  As parents we must always keep in mind the end goal, which is to raise children who become confident, resilient adults equipped to live life happily and successfully - whatever success looks like for them NOT US!!!  I will share with you my top three tips and how you can implement these in your family today. Here are the highlights: {1:16} There's not much time to reflect as parents {3:59} We must prepare our children for long-term success {10:51} Long-term success teaches skills {13:34} Demonstrating the growth mindset {17:22} Praise the process, not the outcome {20:37} 'Yet' is a powerful word 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a very personal episode where I share my childhood story. Whilst I have very fond memories of growing up, I never quite felt comfortable or confident in who I was. I am convinced this is why I do what I do, and why I do it the way I do it.  I hope this episode will help you as a parent see things from the viewpoint of a child, and how they experience the world. It’s also a reminder that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Here are the highlights: {4:00} A typical middle child {5:35} Coping with tragedy {10:02} I just had to get on with it {14:55} It's important to understand our child's perspective {18:20} I felt uncomfortable in my own skin {21:13} Where was the support? {24:53} It's crucial to keep talking about emotions {28:46} Trust parental instincts 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’re anything like me, you have probably read a dozen books in an attempt to get your children to do more of what you ask. Why don’t they listen and do what we ask them to do first time and why is it so hard?!! Traditional books talk about discipline and punishment, which in my view only creates power struggles, battle-lines and confrontation and no-one wants these. In this episode I will explain why using an approach focused on consequences works each and every time, talk you through my simple do’s and don’t as well as showing you how to create routines and structure which work. Here are the highlights: {1:04} Our children are like buildings {5:30} Appropriate consequences {9:07} Random rewards {12:09} The talk through strategy {15:31} Let children be part of the decision-making process {21:28} Access the free resources 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode Dr Maryhan’s children talk about their childhood. We hear about sibling rivalry, meltdowns in the car because of spellings, competitiveness and Catherine’s childhood trauma thanks to Maryhan’s passion for gardening!! The children also talk candidly about how they have managed tech, social media, comparisons and becoming confident adults.Here are the highlights: {3:45} Most valuable lessons from parents {7:53} The garden center trauma {11:07} Dealing with social media {18:53} How parenting impacts our relationship with technology {22:53} "but my other friends are allowed to do it" {30:18} The pressure to achieve academically {36:57} Sibling rivalries {44:18} How much screen time is healthy? 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is all about the secrets to a Happy Family. Now I am going to be upfront here - there is no such thing as a perfectly happy family - that’s just not reality. What I am going to talk about are the key components we need to master to make family life as harmonious as we can possibly make it. And the biggest secret is about managing our own expectations.  The three core components I will cover are: Siblings relationshipsRoles within the family Communication Here are the highlights: {1:23} Myth-busting sibling relationships {4:15} Our interference causes the most problems {9:14} Never referee your children's arguments {12:03} Step in when you hear raised voices {17:32} "I've noticed that..." {19:51} Roles within the family {22:36} Perception of self and others {25:20} Family meetings {29:38} Be on the same parenting page 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is all about practical strategies. How can you as a parent, educator, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or nanny help a child in those moments of angst? I’ll explain why it is so important to help our children recognise where their anxieties show up in their body, and how the techniques help alleviate the overwhelm.  I’ll talk you through four strategies to help build your child’s unique toolkit, and how they can use them to go from angst to courage Here are the highlights: {1:24} The wellbeing seesaw and perceived resources {4:50} Draw a gingerbread person {7:39} Help children identify where the anxiety comes from {10:04} The glitter jar {15:12} Breathing exercise 1 - Take 10 {20:38} Breathing exercise 2 - The Hand Breathing Technique {23:14} The internal critic {25:21} Reframing the internal chatter {30:42} It's like running an experiment 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I get to share the podcast microphone with Lucinda Miller; the best selling author of two family cookbooks, and an incredible Naturopath.  There is mounting evidence of the link between good gut health and mental health and wellbeing. Lucinda explains how this link works in practice without blasting us with science, and then gives us some super practical ways, as parents, we can encourage our children to eat more of the good stuff! Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunty, uncle, nanny, or anyone else interested in improving children’s wellbeing one snack or meal at a time, this podcast episode is for you! Here are the highlights: {4:03} Lucinda Miller introduction {9:39} The connection between the brain and the gut {12:33} Chronic inflammation now leads to almost all modern day diseases {16:01} The micro-biome is super important {18:45} The importance of GABA {24:08} The side-effects of ultra processed foods {33:28} How do we start to make the right changes? {35:44} Cooking and eating as a family {42:23} How to make bad foods less bad 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is such a huge topic so I am going to try to cover as much as I can so I can give all of you, whether you have a 2 year old all the way up to a 22 year old, some useful, practical advice to start using today. To keep things nice and simple this episode is for you if…..You haven’t yet parted with an electronic device and you want to know how to best set the right ground rules.Your child already has a tablet, mobile phone, gaming console and you are pulling your hair out trying to manage their time on it!You feel you have lost complete control over the use of devices - they’re in bedrooms at night, they’re on them all the time, you are constantly arguing over them, and you just can’t see a way forward Here are the highlights: {1:41} Tech is part of our children's lives {2:33} Children do what they see, not what we say {3:32} Set some ground rules{6:30} Set up family check-ins {8:41} Don't make tech the enemy {9:48} Reward good choices {11:37} Agree on the rules... and stick to them {13:55} What are the consequences of breaking rules? {17:40} Communicating this with your children 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I am joined by Kim Burrows who shares their personal mental health story with us.  We know there is a rising mental health crisis and by talking so candidly about their journey Kim helps us as parents see things from the perspective of a child. An opportunity not to be missed! Kim’s mental health journey started at just 6 years old!!! Now at 30 years old, Kim has a real drive to advocate and talk opening about their mental health journey in the hope it helps others find their voice too. So as parents, educators, grandparents, nannies or anyone else interested in raising confident, resilient children, I hope you are able to come away and reflect on how you might approach things slightly differently with your children - now you are armed with all this new knowledge. Here are the highlights: {1:50} Identifying as non-binary {4:04} Developing an eating disorder at six {9:23} I was very aware of judgment {13:30} Mental heath seen as behavioural issues {15:30} The youngest child syndrome {21:10} Fulfilling the sibling roles into adulthood {25:54} The fear of not being good enough {32:14} Good kids aren't rewarded for being good {35:59} A late bloomer {41:08} Don't assume you know why a child is acting out 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting is harder now than it has ever been. We are busier than ever, juggling more, and we don’t always share the same views as our partner about how to best parent. It’s then a whole different minefield to navigate if you and your partner have split and are now co-parenting; not always amicably. This podcast episode is for you if….. You want to be more consistent with your parenting You are prepared to take a really honest look at how you parent - warts and all You want practical ways to co-parent without the battlesHere are the highlights: {0:39} The 5 bedtime parenting styles {2:45} Children thrive on consistent parenting {8:34} Children's behaviour tells us how they're feeling {10:13} Children learn how to self-regulate through observation (13:41} Answering back is disrespectful {18:50} Children should be grateful for all we do {21:17} The Sunday family meeting template💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sleep is so important for children and yet we often have so many issues getting our children to bed! This podcast will look at ways we can establish good bedtime routines, how we help children who need us there in order to fall asleep as well as those children who struggle to switch off that busy brain. I will also be talking about extra considerations we need for our teenagers, particularly around devices.Here are the highlights: {1:30} Sleep is the librarian of the brain {3:36} A bedroom is an environment to help unwind {5:21} The 4 basic rules {8:50} The self-soothe method {12:16} Useful techniques to help your child sleep {17:13} Worry balloons {22:25} Teenagers and the effects of puberty {25:39} Redressing the bedroom 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The two most common ways we screw our kids up don’t come from a place of neglectful parenting. Quite the contrary, they come from a place of feeling we need to be A*** otherwise we’re not a good parent. This often means losing who we are in the process – as everything becomes about our children – at the expense of everything else!! What I will share in this episode comes from a place of love not criticism, and if we can master these two common mistakes, parenting gets a whole load easier, and we begin to find our true selves again.  Here are the highlights: {1:02} Don't lose sight of who YOU are as an individual {4:36} Trying to correct your own childhood {7:15} Turn off the autopilot {8:21} SHINE  💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For some context - the latest data suggests 1 in 6 children has a probable mental health challenge - so in a typical state school class of 30 children that’s 5 children in each and every class in every school from aged reception all the way up to year 11 struggling with their mental health. Now, not all will have anxiety - but understanding the basic principles around mental health are key if we are going to turn the tide on this scary epidemic - and it starts young!!! In this episode we will talk about what anxiety is, how you might know your child is struggling with anxiety, and what can you start doing now to help.Here are the highlights: {1:29} The scale of mental health issues {3:52} Imagine a seesaw {7:05} Think about it from your child's perspective {9:00} The physical effects of anxiety {12:53} Managing the internal dialogue {14:57} The common signs of anxiety💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“The most valuable lesson we can teach our children is how to be happy and confident with who they are. Everything else falls into place when they truly believe in themselves.”That is my absolute honest belief and it’s not because I don’t value education and what qualifications give our children - it’s just without confidence children can never ever really reach their full potential - and who wants a child growing into an unfulfilled adult???Join me as I blow the lid off what Confidence isn’t and share my three Confidence Codes to help your child take those first steps to becoming their best selves.Here are the highlights:{2:08} 2 misconceptions about confidence {3:20} Understanding the internal dialogue{6:31} Helping your children communicate their inner feelings{8:53} Helping our children problem solve{9:55} Don't be a super fixer{11:22} It's all about timing{12:57} Encourage your children to set goals{14:48} Appreciate the journey💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’ve all been there right? Whether it’s because we’ve said ‘no’ to something, asked them to do something they don’t want to do, or called ‘time for dinner, bed, bath, school, homework etc ……. and they’ve totally lost the plot.Their reaction seems so disproportionate, you’d think we’d cut off a limb, and yet to them it’s the end of their world and to us we’re struggling to know what to say and how to keep our own emotions in check.Join me as I share the three main reasons why children struggle to manage their emotions, and what we can do to help support them.   Here are the highlights: {1:53} The 3 main reasons why your child is having a meltdown {4:29} Chronological vs developmental age {7:12} Why not to meet fire with fire {11:03} Managing emotions after a confrontation {13:17} Be the role model for your child {16:49} Glitter jars {24:36} Create opportunities for children to practice💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast; I am Dr Maryhan and I will be your host. Join me to find out more about what to expect in upcoming episodes from me and my guest experts.I will also share an analogy, which for me best describes our role as parents, and I would invite you to consider it each time your children present you with a challenge, decision or a dilemma.To access the free resources mentioned in this podcast visit: https://drmaryhan.com/library Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.