Hoteps Been Told You

War is still raging in the Middle East, and the Hoteps open the show breaking down Trump’s speech from the night before. From there, the conversation jumps to the latest moon mission — with a Black astronaut taking part — and what that means for the culture. Then we get into a topic I’ve been warning y’all about for years: Pooh Shiesty. Federal agents held a press conference announcing that Pooh has gotten himself into a world of trouble… again. This time, he allegedly robbed Gucci Mane — the man who signed him — at gunpoint and forced him to sign paperwork. Let’s not forget: Pooh is the founder of the Pooh Shiesty mask and the spark behind YN behavior worldwide. I told y’all about his influence years ago on this pod. Nobody listened but Unc. Next up: Ye’s show last night. Three nights in London the same weekend as Hov, and honestly… the Cali show wasn’t hitting. Audio issues, stage issues — mid all around. I ended up going to sleep. And now Ye is set to perform three nights at Wireless the same weekend as Hov. So the question becomes: Who’s about to have the most entertaining weekend — Ye or Hov? If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

The Iran war rolls on, and the Hoteps open the show debating who’s actually winning. Hotep Jesus breaks down the ancient bloodlines in play, while Uncle Hotep warns about the real danger sitting in the Strait of Hormuz. Then we pivot to the timeline’s favorite menace: Druski does it again… but at what cost Druski is back adding to his Hall‑of‑Fame run of A1 comedy bits — this time taking aim at conservative white women, “allegedly” channeling Erika Kirk. Niggas are crying laughing, Red Whites are furious, and everyone agrees he struck gold again. But the question remains: does this one finally get him into some trouble. “My GOAT is full of shit… smh” Jay‑Z continues his Epstein Files damage‑control tour and sits down with GQ for an interview that has Black Twitter confused, annoyed, and side‑eyeing. One moment stands out: Hov saying he’s against rap battles now because of how nasty fans and stans get online. Which raises the obvious question: Did he realize that before or after he let Kendrick call Drake a pedo in front of the world. Unc has plenty more to pick apart in that interview — so we hand him the ball and tell him we need 83. From there, the Hoteps debate whether Swizz Beatz is really a top‑10 producer, Usher defending Diddy, Black Ice agents, and more. If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

This week, Hotep Jesus goes on trial after his latest appearance on Gutfeld, with Uncle Hotep accusing him of disrespecting the Cushites and switching into his “white voice” for the cameras. From there, the Hoteps dive into the ongoing war—F‑35s getting shot down, Joe Kent’s appearance on Tucker Carlson, and the bigger question of whether the U.S. is actually winning. Then the conversation shifts to Jay‑Z announcing two new shows and which one is worth pulling up to. And of course, the cultural question of the week: Is Houston the new Shine Heaven? A flood of videos hit the timeline showing Houston turning into the Spring Break capital for YN’s and young hoes—fights, chaos, cheeks, drugs, guns… everything. Pure nasty work. The Hoteps break down what this new era of Spring Break says about the culture, plus Afro Man beating his case against the man, the upcoming Biggie vs. Tupac Verzuz, and more. If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

The Hoteps open with the latest in the Iran–US conflict and the wave of terror attacks hitting the States, then slide straight into the Black Twitter Report, where nothing is sacred and everyone catches a stray. Then… the unthinkable. Bam Adebayo—HoweverYouSpellHisLastName—drops 83 points, breaking Kobe Bean Bryant’s legendary 81. Kobe fans everywhere are calling foul: 40+ free throws, weird end‑game antics, and a vibe that just didn’t feel respectful. HJ and Unc weigh in: does this record even count or is it basketball cosplay. From there, the White Man & Coons Voltron up and take down Magic City Night. Adam Silver cancels the event a week before tip‑off, and—like clockwork—Black Twitter erupts. Curtis Scoon and Killer Mike start sparring, and the timeline turns into a digital barbershop. Unc says he saw the weird energy from the jump. And then… Ye returns. Apparently the apology tour worked, because a new stadium show is on deck and one million people sat in the queue waiting for tickets. The love is still there, the demand is still insane, and the question becomes: Is this the beginning of the full Kanye comeback arc. If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Jay‑Z back in the blender. Epstein files heat up, Nancy Mace wants answers, Dyson says Hov called his phone, and the culture tells Luke Kornet to stay out of Magic City business. Plus: Middle East updates, Uncle Hotep’s Saudi story, Kristi Noem gets canned, and more. If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

50 Cent is on what can only be described as a nationwide petty tour, and his latest stop? T.I.’s front porch. But Tip and the Harris household said, “Nah, not today.” Suddenly it’s not just 50 vs. T.I.—it’s 50 vs. the entire family group chat. The real question: Did 50 finally run into somebody who can clap back with equal cardio? Then we pivot to the world’s most unserious felony: a “friendly” snowball fight with the NYPD that somehow turned into charges. Only in America can you go from “winter fun” to “court date” in under 30 seconds. Were folks wildin’, or did the cops just not appreciate getting hit with artisanal, locally sourced precipitation? Next up: Michael Eric Dyson decided to jump into the “Not Like Us” discourse with a take that had people squinting at their phones like, “Sir… what?” HJ already said the song started feeling different after a while, but Dyson comparing it to certain political vibes? Is he defending his guy, or is he cooking up a point we just don’t want to admit? We also get into Trump’s State of the Union speech, which had everything except a halftime show. Then the crew debates a question that could end friendships: Who has better fine dining—New Jersey or Philadelphia? One side has Michelin stars, the other has diners that never close and attitudes that never soften. And finally, the BAFTA Awards gave us a controversy nobody had on their bingo card, involving a slur tossed at the cast of The Sinners. Hollywood said, “We’re shocked.” The internet said, “We’re not.” If you liked the show, laughed at the show, or got mad at the show but still listened all the way through… hit the Patreon. That’s where the REAL show lives — the bonus episodes, the behind‑the‑scenes, the stuff we can’t say on the main feed because we enjoy having bank accounts and employment. https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

1. Captain Durag & the Black Twitter Meltdown We open with the funniest chaos of the week: Captain Durag. Black Twitter detonated over a Disney Jr. character with a durag and a dream. The creator — allegedly a Black woman — instantly got labeled a tether by the FBA crowd. Boule Twitter went straight to the playbook: digging up old tweets, calling her a coon, and running the usual “we’re upset” tricks. So what is it: representation or cooning. 2. Mom Mom at the White House Next up, Grandma hopped on the mic during a Black History Month event at the White House and told folks to back up off Trump and let him cook. The comments were wild — white women saying she moved them to tears. First Nicki, now Mom Mom. Sisters showing Trump love is becoming a plot twist nobody expected. 3. DJ Vlad’s Valentine’s Day Shenanigans Then we get to Vlad. On Valentine’s Day — when he should’ve been somewhere in some yams — he fires off a “satire” tweet claiming he’s exposing Roc Nation secrets. Fourteen million views later, the internet is in a frenzy, and Vlad is suddenly cop‑plea‑adjacent. Some say it was just trolling. Others — like Unc with the Kufi strapped tight — think it was a strategic distraction to take heat off Roc Nation. 4. Fight Talk & Farewells We close with some fantasy‑fight energy: Floyd vs Tyson, Ronda Rousey vs Gina Carano, and a moment of respect for RIP Jesse Jackson, marking the end of an era. Tap in on Patreon for the Monday‑night bonus episode of Hoteps Been Told You. If you want the uncut version of the show, the extra sauce, and the conversations we can’t have on the main feed, hit the link and pull up https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

The Hoteps hit a major milestone this week, celebrating 400 episodes and looking back at the wildest, funniest, and most legendary moments from their journey. From early chaos to cultural dominance, Unc and HJ take a well‑earned victory lap through Hotep history. Then it’s time for the long‑awaited official HBTY review of J. Cole’s The Fall Off. Enough time has passed — what’s the final verdict. Unc stamps it as mid and not for him. Was it good, great, HBCU‑boule rap, or just clean boom‑bap cosplay. The room breaks it all down, including Cole’s strange post‑release marketing run — genius or performative. Meanwhile, Sexy Red has officially violated the peace treaty with Hotepistan. Two weeks into Black History Month, she drops a remake of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” called “Eat It.” HJ gave her a pass… Unc wants her deported back to St. Louis. The timeline also serves up some premium elder chaos: Ja Rule, Tony Yayo, and Uncle Murda allegedly reignite 20‑year‑old beef on a first‑class flight. Black Twitter immediately asks the only question that matters — who won. Ja for causing a scene, or G‑Unit for making him catch a different flight. And finally, sports talk gets spicy as Nick Wright proposes the most unhinged — yet undeniably entertaining — idea to save NBA All‑Star Weekend: Whites vs Blacks. A racial Hunger Games on hardwood. Families glued to the TV. Adam Silver… do the right thing. Enjoying the show? Tap in with us on Patreon for the full Hotep experience. You’ll get uncut episodes, bonus content, and an extra Hoteps Been Told You episode every Monday night — only for the real supporters. Join the community and help us keep this thing independent: https://patreon.com/HotepsBeenToldYou?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink