Holding Women Through Grief | Miscarriage, Still Birth, Loss, Death, Grief Support Group

If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I grieving wrong… or am I just stuck?” this episode is for you. In plain language (no fluff), we break down the difference between bereavement, grief, and mourning so you can stop second guessing what you’re feeling and start understanding your body, your heart, and your healing. You’ll also get a simple 3-step tool to use on the days your emotions feel too big, too fast, or all over the place. For more support beyond this episode—tools, coaching, and a gentle place to land—visit my website : Holding Women Through Grief. Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. I’m also not a doctor or licensed healthcare provider. If you need professional mental health support or have questions about your physical health or pregnancy history, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or your doctor/midwife/medical provider.

Have you ever wanted to show up for someone in grief… but froze because you didn’t know what to say? Have you watched a woman lose her baby… and then slowly lose people too? Are you the grieving woman wondering why support feels so hard to come by — or how to ask for what you need without feeling “needy”? Do you want to be a safe person in someone’s grief story — not the person who disappears? This episode is for two women at once: the one grieving, and the one trying to love her well. Because here’s the truth: most people want to show up but grief is a language we were never taught. So we freeze. We go quiet. We say “let me know if you need anything” (and we mean it), but the grieving woman often doesn’t have the energy to manage support or ask for it. In this conversation, I’m giving you a different approach: presence over perfection and practical ways to show up with consistency, not clichés. We talk about how silence can feel like safety to the supporter… but abandonment to the person grieving. And we talk about what actually helps: simple messages, steady check-ins, remembering names and dates, and being willing to stay. In This Episode Why “perfect words” aren’t required but presence is Better phrases to use instead of “let me know if you need anything” A simple Support Styles framework to help you show up in a way that fits you What not to say and what to say instead (without making it about you) How to offer long-term support (because grief gets lonelier over time) What to do if you already disappeared and how to repair it One-sentence scripts grieving women can use to ask for support If this episode met you here… You don’t have to be eloquent. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing. Send this episode to one person. If you’re supporting someone and don’t know what to say send it. If you’re grieving and want your people to understand you send it. Let it be a bridge. If you want gentle reminders and support you don’t have to explain join my email community. Stay Connected Website This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

Have you ever smiled and nodded while your insides were screaming? Has someone minimized your loss with an “at least…” and you felt punched in the chest? Have you felt like you’re not just grieving… you’re also managing other people’s feelings? Do you freeze in the moment and only think of what you wish you said later? Today we’re doing something a little brave. A little raw. We’re talking about the hurtful things people say after loss — not always because they’re cruel, but because they’re uncomfortable, ignorant, or trying to protect themselves from the reality of grief. And if you’ve ever thought, “Why am I having to comfort everyone else while I’m the one shattered?” I need you to hear this: you’re not crazy. You’re exhausted. This episode is different from Episode 13 (Ask a Bereavement Doula). That one was Q&A. This one is about how to protect your heart when grief meets other people’s mouth. Inside this episode, I give you: the 3 categories most hurtful comments fall into a simple 3-step response framework (so you don’t have to think on the spot) scripts in three tones: soft, direct, and spicy and what to do if you freeze, fawn, or explode afterward — because yes, that’s part of grief too. This weeks Journal Prompt: “What comment has impacted me the most — and what do I wish I could say back?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 13: Ask a Bereavement Doula — Real Questions, Honest Answers — if you want more truth-with-love Q&A Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if silence and minimization have made grief heavier Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has you navigating other people while you’re hurting Send this episode to someone who’s grieving and keeps getting hit with comments that make them feel crazy. Not because it fixes the pain — but because it gives them words and boundaries. If you want quiet support like this in your inbox — reflections that don’t sugarcoat grief — join my private email community. Website: www.holdingwomenthroughgrief.com This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

What do you really want to ask someone who supports grieving families for a living? No sugarcoating. No Pinterest grief quotes. Just honest answers to real questions — from “Am I crazy?” to “How do I handle people who say the dumbest things?” If you’ve ever listened to an episode and thought, “Okay but what about MY weird thought?” …this one is for you. Have you ever thought, “Am I doing grief wrong?” Do you feel numb one day and wrecked the next — and wonder what that means? Do you want to scream when someone says “everything happens for a reason” or starts a sentence with “at least…”? Have you ever had a grief thought so “unhinged” you didn’t even want to admit it out loud? Real answers we talk through Why you still feel sad when others have moved on: Because they moved on from the moment — but you’re still living the reality. You lost a person, a future, a dream. Jealousy after loss: No, you’re not awful. You’re heartbroken. You can be happy for someone and grieving for you — both can be true. What to say when someone says “at least…”: Respectfully? “At least” never helps. Swap it for: “I’m so sorry.” and presence. (And if you’re the grieving one? You’re allowed to set the boundary.) How to know if you’re healing: Healing isn’t the absence of pain — it’s the return of presence. Sometimes you don’t know until one day you breathe a little deeper… cry a little softer… laugh without punishing yourself for it. When people ask when you’re trying again: Your womb and your timeline are not community property. You’re allowed to say: “That’s private.” Full stop. Bonus truth: Yes, you can stop trying to be okay. You have nothing to prove. This weeks journal prompt : “What would it feel like to stop performing your grief — and start honoring it honestly?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 12: Jealousy After Loss — When Pregnancy Announcements Hurt — if comparisons and triggers hit you out of nowhere Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you keep wondering whether you’re “doing this right” Episode 9: When Loss Changes Your Relationship — if grief has shifted how you and your partner connect This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

Have you ever smiled at a pregnancy announcement while something sharp hit you inside? Do you feel guilty for not being able to feel “pure happiness” for someone else right now? Have you wondered, “What kind of person feels this?” Do pregnancy announcements, baby showers, or Mother’s Day posts feel like a wound getting touched? Today we’re talking about something so many women feel after loss… but almost no one says out loud: jealousy. That silent ache when someone else has what you wanted. The sting when a friend posts a sonogram. The way your body reacts before your brain can catch up ,heart racing, cheeks hot, phone flipped face down ,and then the second wave hits: “Why can’t I just be happy for her?” If you’ve ever judged yourself for feeling that, I want you to hear me: jealousy after loss doesn’t make you cruel. It doesn’t make you selfish. It means your heart is wounded ,and a pregnancy announcement becomes a mirror of what you expected, what you hoped for, and what you lost. We talk about why jealousy shows up (without shaming it), how it often arrives with guilt, and why naming it actually softens it. And I remind you of something that matters: You can love someone and still feel envy. You can root for them and still grieve for you. Both can be true. This episode is permission to stop beating yourself up and start meeting your emotions with compassion. Listen Next Episode 8: Why Valentine’s Day Can Hurt After Loss Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible If this episode gave you language for something you’ve held quietly, share it with a grieving friend especially someone who’s been pretending they’re fine when pregnancy announcements hit. Sometimes sending an episode and saying, “This explains what I couldn’t say,” is the bridge. This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

You’ve probably heard the phrase “1 in 4”… but behind that number are real women, real grief, and real silence. If hearing statistics makes your stomach drop — or pulls you right back to that moment — I want you to take a breath with me. This episode is a gentle space to talk about what the numbers actually mean, why miscarriage and pregnancy loss are more common than anyone talks about, and what healing can look like when your world has changed. Have you ever thought, “I didn’t know this was common… I thought it was just me”? Do you find yourself replaying the “what ifs” and wondering if you caused it? Have you felt like the statistic validates you… and yet somehow still makes you feel erased? Do you need someone to say, clearly: this isn’t your fault — and you don’t have to earn the right to grieve? In this episode, we’re taking the “1 in 4” statistic and putting a human heart back inside it. Because when no one talks about pregnancy loss, you don’t just grieve the baby — you start grieving your confidence. You start questioning your body. You start carrying shame that was never yours to carry. We talk about what the stats really say, why pregnancy loss happens (especially early loss), and why so many women blame themselves for things that weren’t in their control. And I say this plainly in the episode, but I’m going to say it here too: You didn’t cause this. This isn’t your fault. And you don’t have to earn the right to grieve. We also name something important: sometimes “common” doesn’t feel comforting — it can feel infuriating. Like you’re being turned into a number instead of honored as a mother with a story. So we talk about how to let the information validate you without letting it erase you. And then we move into the part so many women need next: what healing can look like (no timelines, no pressure), how to get out of the “what if” spiral, how to ask for what you actually need, and when it’s time to reach for professional support. What You’ll Hear in This Episode what “1 in 4” actually means and why it matters why miscarriage and pregnancy loss are more common than people talk about a grounded explanation of common causes of early pregnancy loss (without blame) myth vs truth for the thoughts that shame loves to use (“I caused it,” “my body failed”) what healing can look like in real life (not Pinterest healing — real healing) simple, one-sentence ways to ask for support when you don’t even know what you need This Weeks Journal Prompt “What does hearing these statistics make me feel about my own loss — or the losses of women I love? What do I want to say to myself right now?” If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 1: The First Days After Loss — What No One Prepares You For — if you’re still in shock or early survival mode Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you feel like you “should be over it by now” Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if the silence from others has made everything heavier If you know someone who has ever whispered, “I thought it was just me,” send them this episode. Not because it fixes anything — but because it names the truth. And naming the truth is how shame starts to loosen. If you want quieter support between episodes, I’d love to welcome you into my private email community — gentle reflections, reminders, and support that doesn’t require you to explain yourself. Pick one friend you know has experienced loss (even years ago) and send this exact text with the episode link: “I thought of you when I listened to this. No pressure to respond — I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.” This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. I’m also not a doctor or licensed healthcare provider. If you have questions about your specific health or pregnancy history, please reach out to your doctor, midwife, or medical provider. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

Grief changes, but love never leaves. This conversation is a quiet space to talk about memory — not just what fades, but what stays. If you’ve ever worried your baby might be forgotten… or wondered how to keep their presence close in your life… this episode is for you. Have you ever worried that, as time passes, fewer people remember your baby? Have you felt the ache of being the one who still remembers the date, the name, the little details? Have you wondered how to carry your baby’s memory in a way that feels loving and personal — not performative? In this episode, we’re naming a fear that doesn’t get talked about enough after loss: not just the pain, and not just the sadness — but the fear of forgetting… or being the only one who remembers. There’s a sentence I hear again and again from grieving mothers: “I feel like I’m the only one who remembers my baby now.” And behind that sentence is something so sacred. Not a need for attention. Not a need for performance. Just love asking to be witnessed. We talk about how remembering your baby doesn’t mean you’re stuck in grief. It means you’re still connected. Grief may change shape over time, but love stays — and memory can become one of the places that love continues to land. I also share quiet, real-life examples of remembrance: a mother who lights a candle each month on her baby’s due date, and another who wears a bracelet with her baby’s initials that no one else understands… but she does. And that’s enough. If you’ve ever questioned whether your way of remembering “counts,” this conversation is your reminder: There is no right way to remember. There is only your way. What You’ll Hear in This Episode Why the fear of your baby being forgotten can feel just as painful as the silence itself The difference between remembering and feeling “stuck” in grief Gentle, personal ways to keep your baby’s memory close in everyday life Validating reminders for when the world has moved on but your love hasn’t A journal prompt to help you explore memory with tenderness Tools, Prompts, + Resources Mentioned These are not obligations. They’re invitations. Speak their name: Even if it’s only in the car, in the shower, or in prayer — their name matters. It existed. It still does. Create a gentle reminder: This doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours. Light a candle on milestones Write a yearly birthday letter Place a stone somewhere meaningful Visit a place that feels close to them Include them in your family in quiet ways: A Christmas ornament A whisper during a blessing A flower tucked into a bouquet Grief may be invisible… but remembrance doesn’t have to be. Carry them in a way only you know: A ring, bracelet, tattoo, or keepsake A note tucked into your wallet Sometimes the most sacred memory is the one no one else sees. Journal Prompt “What does it look like for me to carry my baby’s memory with love — not pain?” Take your time with this one. Let it be honest. There is no right answer. If This Episode Resonated, Listen Next Episode 6: Am I Still a Mother After Loss? — if you’re carrying questions about identity, motherhood, and being seen after loss Episode 4: Why Baby Loss Still Feels So Invisible — if the silence from others has made your grief feel harder to hold Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like — if you’re trying to understand how love and grief can continue together over time Connect + Next Step Share this episode with one person — a friend, sister, or another mom who may be quietly wondering if her baby still matters to the world. This is one small way we can say: Yes. Always. If you want gentle support between episodes, I’d love to welcome you into my private email community — a quiet space for soft reflections, stories, and reminders that you are not alone. Disclaimer This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider.

Have you looked at your relationship after loss and thought, “What’s wrong with us?” Do you feel like you’re grieving out loud… and your partner is grieving in silence? Have you caught yourself thinking, “Why am I the only one carrying this?” Nobody really warns you that grief doesn’t just break your heart — it can shift your whole relationship. And if things feel harder between you and your partner right now, I want you to hear this clearly: Nothing is wrong with you. You’re grieving. In this episode, we talk about what happens when two people are hurting… but hurting differently. One person might need to talk, cry, process out loud. The other might go quiet, shut down, focus on functioning. And when you’re standing in those two different places, it’s easy for a story to form: “They don’t care as much as I do.” But most of the time, that isn’t the truth. Most of the time, they care deeply — they’ve just been taught to survive by staying silent. I explain it like this: You’re on the same street… just different sidewalks. One of you stops every few steps because the grief hits hard. The other walks faster because slowing down feels like drowning. And if you don’t understand what’s happening, it starts to feel like distance — when really it’s just two nervous systems coping the best way they know how. We also talk about why grief changes relationships: Different grieving styles (out loud vs. inward) Role confusion (both trying to hold it together for each other) Unspoken resentment (“Why aren’t they crying?” / “Why do I feel alone?”) Shifts in intimacy and closeness The weight of everything else (bills, work, explaining, functioning) And then I share a few real, tangible ways to support each other without trying to “fix” anything. 3 Tangible Ways to Support Each Other in Grief Name the difference without blame “I’ve noticed we grieve differently. Can we talk about that without judgment?” Create small connection moments Not to fix anything — just to be together. Holding hands. Sitting quietly. Asking: “How’s your heart today?” Get outside support A support group, therapist, or trusted guide can help hold space for both of you — especially when communication feels hard. Journal Prompt “How has grief impacted the way I show up in my relationships?” Optional: “What do I wish my partner or loved one understood about my grief?” If you’re listening to this alone and wishing your partner understood… you’re not failing. Sometimes understanding comes after the words. And sometimes an episode like this becomes the bridge. If this resonated, consider sharing it — especially with your partner. You don’t have to explain everything perfectly. Sometimes sending an episode and saying, “This feels like us,” is enough. Disclaimer This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. If you need professional mental health support, please reach out to a licensed therapist, grief counselor, or medical provider. Reminder Your grief is not too much. Your pain is not proof your relationship is broken. And even if things feel hard right now — you are not alone. Until next time… Be gentle with your heart. And with the hearts grieving beside you.

Does Valentine’s Day make you feel more aware of what — or who — is missing? Do you scroll past smiling families and wonder, “Why not me?” Have you ever felt invisible on a day that’s supposed to celebrate love? In this heartfelt episode, we’re talking about a holiday that can quietly wound grieving parents: Valentine’s Day. While the world celebrates romance, crafts, candies, and smiling children in red and pink, many grieving mothers feel something entirely different — emptiness, longing, or a deep ache they can’t quite put into words. Related Episodes: Episode 6: Am I Still a Mother After Loss? Episode 7: Loving Yourself After Loss: Finding Your Way Back to You Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. Please reach out to a licensed mental health provider or grief-informed professional if you need additional support. Next Steps: Subscribe so new episodes continue to meet you gently each week. Share this episode with someone who may be quietly grieving this Valentine’s Day. Leave a review if today’s conversation helped put your feelings into words — it helps this space reach more grieving mothers. Join the private email community for tender support, journal prompts, and weekly encouragement.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I don’t recognize myself anymore”? Do you feel like grief has taken not just your baby, but pieces of who you used to be? Are you wondering who you are now — and whether that version of you is still deserving of love? In today’s conversation, we’re exploring one of the most tender truths of grief: how loss changes your identity — and how hard it can feel to love the woman you’re becoming. Grief can make you feel like a stranger to yourself and to people around you.. Your reflection looks different. Your energy shifts. Your purpose feels blurry. And suddenly, the version of you before loss feels more like a memory than a place you can return to. This episode walks through why self-love feels so far away after loss and why that distance has nothing to do with your worth. You’ll learn gentle ways to begin reconnecting with yourself, nurturing the woman you are now, and offering compassion where blame once lived. Loving yourself again doesn’t mean returning to who you were — it means honoring who you are today, even in the midst of grief. Related Episodes: Episode 5: What Healing After Loss Really Looks Like Episode 6: Am I Still a Mother After Loss? Disclaimer: This podcast is for supportive and educational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. Please reach out to a licensed mental health provider or grief-informed professional if you need additional support. Next Steps: Subscribe so new episodes continue to meet you right where you are. Share this episode with someone struggling to recognize themselves after loss. Leave a review if today’s message helped soften something inside you — it helps other grieving mothers find this comforting space. Join the private email community for deeper, weekly reflections and gentle encouragement.