Help Me Be Me

Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all. Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong! If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. For more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. (This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode about aligning your actions to your true wants in life. I challenge you to ask yourself what are you allowing to happen in your life that’s not aligned with what you want. This is for anyone who’s been wanting something in a certain area of life – maybe it’s love, career or health, and you’re just not getting what it is you want. A lot of the time you don’t get the things you want because you are unknowingly acting against yourself. Because sometimes we have unconscious actions that are the true reason for us not seeing the results we want. In this episode I will cover a few simple tools on the three categories. For all of them, the solution begins with taking a personal inventory of your behavior: literally, begin to observe yourself and your habits everyday by creating a behavior log. What you’re looking to record: any and all habits and actions around the pursuit of your goal. Because the real misalignment will show up in those details. It might surprise you to see yourself from an objective standpoint, because most of the time misaligned behavior is totally unconscious. We have no idea how we are blocking ourselves – and sometimes it’s a form of self-sabotage. Like a strange unconscious fear of the thing we truly want. For example, when you are looking for a real relationship but you are biding your time with the flings you know are not the ones you want. You THINK you are desperately seeking love when you are in REALITY staying comfortable with the ones you don’t feel threatened by: the easy and available. Your actions? NOT ALIGNED. So to help you become more aware of the accidental misalignments in your actions and goals I will go over three topics in detail: Love, Career, and Health. The tools are very simple and the core of them? Just awareness and focus. For more of my writing check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com – and smile my lovelies! Xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is at the stage of personal growth where you haven't seen the change yet and you’re struggling with doubts about whether or not you should keep going at all. Maybe the positive affects are not obvious and therefore you don't have enough momentum to sustain your focus at the same level – so some part of you is suggesting you give up and accept that you are different than those who succeed. Maybe you're relying (barely) on sheer faith and your own will but doubts are sneaking in. This is an inspirational power-up from the sidelines from someone who can see where you are on the hill. Yes, it’s the toughest part – but this will hopefully help you keep going! Don’t stop now!!! You’re almost there! For more of my writing check out TeaspoonofHappy.com and smile lovely friends! This is for a friend on Soundcloud – you know who you are – and thanks for your inspiring note! xo Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a power-up episode for when you’re in the process of personal change and you suffer the feeling of isolation that happens when you’re not like everyone else. Your goals are more absolute and because you’re training in a new habit – you have to stay strongly committed to them so that they really stick. It’s this part of creating new change that takes priority over other social pleasantries like parties. And when you’re the only one who’s trying to confront issues, it can be lonely when everyone else seems to be numbing them and moving in the opposite direction. This is a power up episode to help you stay the course and remind yourself you started this path because it’s a worthy one. Now’s the time to keep going. This is inspired by my new friend on Soundcloud (you know who you are). For more of my writing head to TeaspoonofHappy.com And if you like this please, please review me or follow me on Soundcloud! And I love comments and letters and reviews. Xox Smile friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is sort of a follow up to the “emotionally raw” episode – and it’s for Emily – I hope you like it! Because in a more pervasive sense you are in a stage of reintegrating your knowledge of life, yourself, and also healing from trauma, while growing into fortified new and improved version of your self. So if you are reeling from a recent discovery or the life you planned fell apart- this is for you. It’s a framework I would like to present to you in the hopes that it gives you a point to focus on as you move through this time. Because – yes, this time is painful, but it’s also a time of growth. You’re growing right now whether you know it or not. So this is my way of saying, “Hey! Look over here! Grow in this direction!” I know this time is sad and painful, but consider that this is all part of the path. It leads you to a better place that you’re meant to be in, that you would not have reached otherwise. Because of a breaking down of structures in your life, a big window just opened and there's a wonderful opportunity sitting there. What is it? A permanent approach to life that comes from a very rare and valuable perspective. Think of it as a new program that you can upload into your brain that gifts you relief from all self inflicted pain that results from the desire to predict and control. That means living with an innate understanding of the difference between what is, and is not within your control. It’s also an innate grasp on what it means to be you – as your true and best you, a person who remains on stable ground at all times. This program you are going to upload? Let's just call it your inner balance. For more, head to TeaspoonofHappy.com and don't forget to smile! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting. If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends! xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for states of emotional pain - when you are trying to make it through the day-to-day in environments that don't make you feel safe. It's for anyone who has had something take the wind out of them lately and maybe you’re hurting pretty bad, and you feel very fragile as it is – and yet you’re out in the world in places that make you feel even more vulnerable. Maybe you’re working on healing but when you are exposed or raw in particular kinds of environments – it makes it really really hard to keep your head up and your eyes from twinkling. The super deep gut pain that makes you want to curl up in a ball in bed. This is for you – to hopefully ground you in those moments. When you are raw you will feel only completely aware of your vulnerability in the world – how fragile you feel emotionally, plus the deep bruise of whatever you have recently gone through. In short –this is a tough spot to be in. It can induce waves of gut-wrenching agony, causing you to wish there was an invisibility cloak. I will go through 1. Where you are: some perspective from outside of your pain to hopefully ground you. 2. What to expect moving forward 3. Some tools to use in the moment. I hope you likee and if you want to read more, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com xo! This is for you, Fran! Hope it helps and hang in there. xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hola Peeps, this is a little mental power up episode to help you manage persistent thought patterns. We all have moments we call out to ourselves via thought-instant-message, "You are now experiencing(fill in the blank familiar state of being)," despite our deliberate effort to change that state. It's that thought, in itself, that then creates our actual state moving forward. It’s often that semi-average, automated thought that we trust as legit - that tends to hold ultimate power over us. Thoughts like, "I'm tired." can alter the remainder of our thoughts for the rest of the day. Those automated thoughts also have the power to block us from mental stillness and calm. For example, even in the moment of attempting to quiet your mind, you might experience the thought, “I am having a hard time keeping my focus today.” That, too, is just a thought - and instead of taking it as gospel, we must instead observe it as just another automated mumble floating through our consciousness. So this is to hopefully help you separate from those mumbles so that you can dethrone them in favor of a happier you. For more check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com I hope you have a fantastic week! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, this is for anyone who perhaps considers themselves a positive person but still has a hard time maintaining a positive mindset. OR maybe you are working on becoming more positive and you’re not quite there yet. This is a great topic because we all need some form of maintenance – whether you were born with a smile or you have to work on it quite a bit. Stefanie asked for some exercises or tips to improve positivity – so I recommended my happiness journal, which for daily positivity reinforcement. If you want to get one, you can order on TeaspoonOfHappy.com – and if you don’t want to purchase it, I am going to go over what it contains so you can do the same thing in any daily journal that suits you. Basically the gist of it is your mindset takes daily maintenance. It’s something that requires your attention on a daily basis. That doesn’t mean it has to be tedious – in fact, it’s quite the opposite. There are a select few people in the world who are born that way – that’s awesome for them, but for the rest of us – it’s something you decide to be and then you craft a daily practice that works for your life that you can do to maintain. This one's for Stefanie - thanks girl! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi my friends! Today’s podcast is about “badges” – or external factors that somehow take on supreme meaning in your life and dictate your self-worth – to you. Whether it’s a job, a number on the scale, a trophy or an expensive car – a badge can affect you so deeply that your whole world changes in the blink of an eye, almost like a hallucination. You might have experienced the results of wearing your badges when you’re either on a personal high or low – and the difference between the two worlds is vast and disorienting, despite how small the factors are when put in perspective. For example – let’s say you get an accolade at work: you feel like you’re a star, you’re so powerful and confident, you don’t need anyone! You don’t even need to call people back! You are that worth knowing, and everyone loves you. Maybe you more freely spend money because you’re going places! You look better in the mirror, you feel young, successful, sexy… “Man I impress everyone!” The flip side of that coin is pretty dark: when you feel you have failed at something or lack something meaningful. For example, maybe you met someone you liked and texted them, but never got a text back. Suddenly the same you will feel ugly, fat, clumsy, talentless, incapable, and perceive that everyone around you sees you as an imbecile. Suddenly this hallucination changes your interpretation of everything anyone says to you: you question whether or not your friends like you, whether or not you are smart, and even how you see your reflection. From this state of mind, you see your acne as horrendous! “How does anyone like me, at all?” And all of this happens in a split second: with one tiny bit of information, your view of yourself and your life - changes. That’s how powerful these external badges can be, and that is not how they should be. Because that is very unfair to you, to be owned by something so dumb – and it’s making you miss out on the real goods you might experience – you’re focusing on the wrong thing if you want to really understand and appreciate who you are. Which is great, and a gift of a person to know. So if you’re in a place where you feel bad about yourself based on an external definition – so much so that it has taken control of the opinion you hold about yourself– this is a podcast for you. Perhaps even listen to it twice, because if this is happening to you – this can be untrained just like any other bad habit. And you deserve for it to stop – cause you’re awesome! For the blog version, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week, and as always, smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an interview with the wonderful and talented Justin Lyon – entrepreneur and all-around happy person. His ventures include Yo Gabba Gabba, The Unique Camp, Photo Fieldtrip, LuLaRoe clothing and photographer for Amelia Lyon Photography. If you’re a creative person looking to make what you love in your life into your livelihood, this is for you. We cover topics like inspiration, confidence, pursuing your dreams, spending time with your fam, being an awesome dad, working with your spouse – plus some valuable new resources out there for creators of all kinds. For the blog version of this post and the links to all we discuss, visit TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week or check out HelloGiggles.com A couple links to get you started: https://twitter.com/justinlyon http://yogabbagabba.com http://amelialyon.net http://photofieldtrip.com http://theuniquecamp.com http://www.lularoe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s podcast is about what makes an awesome bestie so I’m interviewing my best friend of around 30 years – singer/songwriter/actress and all around wonderful girl – Zooey Deschanel. We discuss favorite childhood memories, fave dance moves, a few bestie hypotheticals, plus what qualities to look for in your own best friends! It’s basically a love fest about all our childhood memories so I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this interview, check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you go through a devastating experience like being left by someone you thought was “yours for life” it can be unearthing of everything in your world. Shaking what you want, how you feel about yourself and the future, what you feel safe with – who you feel safe with. Aside the expected affects, the pain, the mourning, this kind of experience can have some very strange effects – because when you’re taken by surprise by something like a relationship, it’s traumatic. You have been shocked. So I will hopefully tackle some of the common ones – so you can see that you’re not crazy, it’s all quite natural, as well as hopefully offer you a timeline for how you might feel. One you can follow along with – so that you can best care for yourself and allow yourself to heal and grow. If this was a long-term relationship – or even a short one but one you relied on in immense ways, the loss can make you feel you have nothing to stand on. In short, it can level you and remove all safety from your life. You might be going through worry over what will come of your life – will you remarry? Will you ever love again, trust again? Are you loveable? Am I too old, am I stupid to have trusted this person? Was I the only one who didn’t know – how didn’t I know? What’s wrong with me that I didn’t see this coming? How do I even move on with love? Woah. Yeah, that’s a lot. So slow down. It’s going to be okay. It’s time to put that aside. Now is not the time you should be thinking about the future. You should simply focus on loving and caring for yourself right now. Truly, how could you tackle planning anything other than addressing your immediate needs – you just experienced a traumatic event in your life and you are in a recovery/healing mode – that’s what you need to be aware of most. All you need to do right now is make yourself feel soothed and healthy and balanced. If you’re going through a total limbo of character and it’s freaking you out, I will go through a couple of common reactions that happen when one is put through a trauma such as yours. And yes, it’s a “trauma” which means your person is likely having a hard time integrating this new information back into your brain alongside the rest of your experiences. So in short, a big shift is happening. Don’t worry! It’s all for the good. I hope I can help you stay balanced throughout it – hang in there, friend - because I know an event like this can rock you to your core. If you want to read more of my writing on a variety of other topics – and to see the blog version of this podcast, visit: http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile y’all! Sending you my love… Sarah-May B. This is for Linda, I hope you like and hang in there girl! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s that period of time when you’re not sure what to do – but nothing’s changing and you’re trying your hardest, and something better happen soon or else you just might give up. Whether you’re on a new health kick and not seeing dramatic results, or attempting to pursue a new career – often the most difficult to surmount is the master of disguise – the plateau. Oh, the old plateau will make life look pretty much the same for long enough that you start to get antsy. That you start to feel you might have already failed – or that change of course is needed – “I haven’t seen progress for quite a while - something must not be working – it must be me, why did I even think to try in the first place? This must not be right-“ or my favorite, “Silly me, I never had a chance of success in the first place…” It is this window of time – the plateau – I would argue, that is the most difficult challenge you will ever face. It’s not the last leg of the race that tricks you into stopping. It’s the time when literally the only piece of advice you need is “Keep going.” It’s this advice that’s the hardest to follow – especially when it comes to pursuits that are new – that require you go out on a limb and jump. If this is you, I am writing this to give you a much-needed push in the same direction. You must have a large gulp of Gatorade and listen to the sound of my voice – keep running. I know it’s not fun anymore, you don’t feel successful, but there was a very good reason you started this run – and now’s the time you’ve got to trust that and just keep running. Trust your own original instincts and power through. You’re on a plateau and the plateau ends – your path will eventually round a turn, and once it does, you will be able to see the finish line in the distance. Check out http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the blog post version of this podcast in the next few days and if you like this, please follow me on Soundcloud or review me on iTunes. Happy new year lovely friends!!! xox Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-Control: Why a lack of it isn’t your fault, plus 6 tools to improve it. If you find you have a lack of willpower to do what you know is best for you when it matters the most, this is a podcast for you. I will go into the reasons why as well as a few tools to help you make progress. The episode is divided into three parts: 1. The science behind low-willpower and its effects on your life. 2. General Causes of Low-Willpower. 3. Tools to Improve Your Lack of it, starting today. Willpower is a particular kind of energy to exert control. With low-willpower comes a whole lot of badness. It compromises your ability to follow rules, reduces your emotional control, increases anger, anxiety, how well you do at school, the amount of traffic accidents you have, how popular you are, how successful you are. Most relevant: it’s a finite reservoir – so if you’re using it throughout the day, you tap it out. And unfortunately you can’t tell when your willpower is depleted but it’s worn down throughout the day. So universally, you have the most of it in the morning. The energy for willpower is linked to your body’s natural energy supply. That’s why dieting is a catch-22. You need energy to have willpower. Not to mention: The more you diet, the more your body learns to resist dieting. That’s why the amount of self-control you have has a large effect on work and school, but a small effect on dieting. So if you suffer most from a lack of willpower when it comes to food, fill yourself up with healthy food so your body has fuel to supply willpower. And most importantly: use the strength you have to accomplish one task at a time. When you split your energy to two different habit changes, you are likely to fail. For example, dieters are less able to quit smoking. Can’t do two things at once. It’s a finite increment of energy inside of you at all times so if you are dealing with managing a lot of pain – let’s say you are stressed or in pain, emotionally, you will likely have a huge problem stopping yourself from snacking in front of the tv at night. Picture yourself swatting away flies all day long. At the end of the day you’re going to be exhausted and likely slow down, even giving up and allowing lots of them to land. When you’re depleted, you also become more aggressive. When you have more of this energy / glucose you become less aggressive. Hence road rage! Most importantly, if you suffer from low-willpower, don’t be mad at yourself – help yourself and support your own ability to do what you know is best for yourself! Xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing and the blog version of this posting, visit http://www.TeaspoonOfHappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is suffering the pain of loss. Loss of someone or something important in your life is one of the most difficult things you will ever have to deal with. And though it feels excruciating, it’s part of what makes your life rich – it is the other half of love. Right now you are likely struggling with what you want to believe is impossible. It feels so wrong – like such a violation of natural laws. Your brain and body also wants desperately to deny that this loss is true. That is the fear of the pain you will feel – you don’t want to look. Like you almost want to forget – to avoid confronting this truth. I must tell you that although the pain is almost unbearable, it will not kill you. You will move through it – just allow yourself to move through it a little bit at a time. Act as your own caregiver in the way you treat this managing of pain. I know it's a process that will feel like it's never ending but in reality it will be much shorter than you think, and every day it will get the tiniest bit easier. Just the tiniest bit. And one day you will once again be happy. Right now - all you can do is move through this time with grace: decide you are going to take it easy on yourself and soothe yourself in any and all ways you possibly can. The best tools I can give you are to manage the processing of the pain in small and manageable increments, so that you can remain as stable and healthy as possible. What I will (hopefully) give you: - A structure to abide for self-care. - A way to mourn so that you can continue to function and take care of yourself. This one's for Bo. I hope this helps you even a little bit! xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a very short guided meditation for supporting your overall level of calm and relaxation. I recco this or your own ritual if you have a high level of stress in your life or you can't seem to shut your brain off at night. Just do it first-thing in the morning or at lunch while you’re taking a walk. Anywhere really, as long as you can close your eyes and be uninterrupted for about ten minutes. If you want to learn more about why it’s important to get your mind to relax, check out the podcast on how to stop thinking so much. Hope you enjoy! xox Sarah May B. For more of my writing including the blog version of the over-thinking podcast, head over to: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your brain start chattering and seemingly never stop? Do you feel distracted and unable to focus? This is for anyone who is trapped in chronic thinking. Like your brain won’t seem to shut up and it’s getting a bit noisy up there. I will cover the what, the why, and most importantly, the solution. There are about 10 different super silly tools to get you started. And apologies in advance - I also drop the F-bomb. (Just once!) This is for Cindy – and it’s a great topic. Thanks for suggesting this girl! Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the blog post with all my references and research -it will be live later this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re in the process of retraining your brain out of negative thought patterns, sometimes you can get discouraged – thinking it’s never going to work. That’s when you can get stuck dwelling in the fact that you are stuck in a negative mindset. What a vicious cycle! This is an emotional power-up for if you’re getting discouraged with the change you are trying to make in your own bad habits. Maybe you’re trying to train yourself to focus on happiness, to stop worrying, or to be simply calm and still. Whatever it is – this is to soothe that fear and get you back on track – which is where you are already, whether you can see it or not! I hope you like and if you want to read more of my writing or read my book, head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com I send you my love and vibes of positivity! Smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a podcast for relief from the self-inflicted pain called Regret. If you suffer from a chronic problem of regret – or you have a major life-defining regret, this is a podcast for you. The most important part is it’s not about what it’s about. It’s a ruse! I am going to try to logically dismantle if for you, because I do not have regret – ever. It’s not because I don’t mess up, it’s because there’s no such thing as an undo button and regret is a worse sin than the original mess up. It’s like burning something valuable and throwing opportunity in the trash. Quite simply? It’s really a bad habit – and it’s not about what it’s about. You are punishing yourself for having to learn a lesson the hard way. Why? You want to feel bad because you feel like it’s warranted: Like penance. It's a trained-in compulsion, your mind naturally assigns it. It has nothing to do with the thing you regret, itself. As your life exists only in the present. You are deciding (unconsciously of course) to relive the thing you dislike, that happened in the past. That is illogical: and most importantly - it is worsening something negative by wasting valuable energy and focus on it. Continuing to create waste! That is the real problem. It’s like building a bonfire in the center of your living room because you accidentally burned a hole in the couch. Often, source of your regret is totally unrelated. They are old residual feelings of low self worth. It's a go-to label for all resonant feelings of pain. You get that sinking feeling of pain that creeps over you, and you think, “what is this about? Oh yeah – I am sad because I ruined my interview..” when in reality, it’s from when you were in school and you got in trouble all the time. The feeling is really tied to, “I’m a bad kid.” Regardless of the source – it’s an automated reaction that must be deliberately undone. Starting now! Please join me!! Xox Sarah may B. This is for Angelica. Thank you for this awesome topic! I know it’s a big one. :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime. In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you. This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences. Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship. In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making. So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you. If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b. http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt. I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe! I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.” If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you. For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear. Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy. And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy. It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0 And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who has been burned and now they are struggling with the idea of revenge. Maybe you were in a relationship with someone and discovered were betraying you. Maybe you confronted the person and they acted aloof and then immediately moved on. This is so you can accept the truth of your situation. so that this never happens to you again. If you are reeling from a very recent realization – I know this is all a lot to take in so go easy on yourself and don’t do it all at once. The loss of someone you loved itself is painful. On top of that you are confused by the fact that they seem to care nothing about you or your feelings. That’s painful. It’s extremely confusing because you have feelings in all directions: they all don’t make sense. Because this is not how a person who loved you is meant to act. That is a key piece of information. THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE IS MEANT TO ACT. It’s not normal or average – this is not what your life and future are meant to be. If this is your situation, I send you my love and know that this time will pass! I will post a blog version of this episode along with some reading material so that you can further investigate your particular situation. Know that you will get through this. I send you my love and vibes of positivity, xoxox Sarah May B. This one is for Diane! Hope this helps and thank you for writing me!! Xo Links to the blog etc: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Power Up: Soothing from Anger This is for anyone who is stuck in a moment of feeling pain and rage. Maybe you’re in the moment – someone has stung you, or you are feeling completely overwhelmed by the injustice or idiocy of the situation around you. I will tailor it to those who cannot leave that situation but if you can, take a walk while you listen. Even if it’s just going into the bathroom and sitting in the stall. I will include one breathing tool and one visualization exercise. For the blog version, check out Teaspoon of Happy in the next few days! Xox Sarah-May B. Links to other help: https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/ https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/mail-happy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a guided visualization exercise for anyone who's suffering from a recent trauma or in mourning - or maybe you're just going through some tough stuff with your therapist. It's a guided visualization to help you put the painful feelings away when you need to go on with your day and function. Trust me - it works! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b https://teaspoonofhappy.com https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning - I say a couple bad words in this one! And it's cause the topic demands it. This is a little "confrontational" power-up for anyone who's hating on themselves and feeling like a loser. It's to help you stop the negative thoughts and focus on more positive and relevant thoughts - like what you want to do that makes you happy! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below: xox Sarah May b http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An interview with Fashion-Forward Funny Chick/Starter-Upper/App-Developer/ Entrepreneur/Photographer/Pop-culture Icon/Friend to Girls/ One of the best-dressed gals I know, Jennifer Puno. We will be breaking down the process of quitting a job you don’t like in favor of pursuing your dreams. In this episode I get to interview one of my besties, Jennifer Puno, or as she’s known to most, “Puno.” She, along with her husband Daniel, has created the curated photographic map of cool and beautiful places across the globe, “Made with Map,” on Instagram. Aside from MAP, Puno has a million other awesome projects – “just cuz,” including a Startrek homage – with photos and gifs, shot on location in Iceland, with photographer friend, Ken Lin. The topic of today’s podcast is Path-Forging: basically, authoring your own life – fearlessly, but intelligently – including pragmatic steps to take if you’re in need of a total career-change. In my opinion, Puno took on this process in the best way possible: with data and spreadsheets to ensure she had the right back-up plan and savings mapped out while she figured out her next step. For those of us who find all numbers to be super hard, those spreadsheets, as well as an awesome dance party video will be available for free in the blog version of this interview on Teaspoon Of Happy. (Keep your eyes peeled in the next couple days.) I hope you enjoy! And smile peeps! Xox To download the future-planning spreadsheets, you can also visit the podcast page on Teaspoonofhappy.com Puno’s links: https://www.madewithmap.com http://punodostres.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life. You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff. Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions. Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself. Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo. This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want. And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is. If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming. So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become. That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com so keep an eye out in the next couple days. Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!! This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. xo! Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a special Halloween podcast episode - an interview with one of my heroes, special effects and creature effects artist/ innovator, Mark Shostrom. He’s influenced so much of what you see today in all kinds of make-up and special effects in TV and film, with an incredible legacy of work. His resume includes 30 years of scary movies, everything from “Nightmare on Elm Street 2” to “Videodrome.” We talk about inspiration, creativity, and going for your dreams and not your obligations— not to mention, the best way to make an open flesh-wound for your Halloween costume this year. There are also a few super creepy Hollywood ghost stories about the Hart Building at Paramount studios. This is for all creators, makers and passionate thinkers out there. It’s a challenge to commit to your own bar of excellence and go for it. Decide to do whatever you do awesomely, and foster your voice as a creative thinker, because life is too short to do something you hate, or can simply tolerate. Plus, when you decide to follow your passions, what you leave in your wake is a legacy: something you are proud of that others will learn from for generations to come. *Warning: Includes some explicit language, gore and scary stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you suffer from habitual thinking that you don’t like – and you have a hard time undoing it, it’s because you’re trapped in a physically engrained system of thinking. What happens overtime is your brain gets trained into feeling certain emotions and you grow used to it. It becomes unconscious, just like when you have peeled an apple so many times, you don’t even think about it anymore. Or when you drive to work – you do it without having to think. The same happens with feeling certain emotions, even if they are unpleasant – they become unconscious and that is where you feel the most inclined to be. It grows to be your “normal” and therefore, it’s where you are comfortable. Despite when it’s an emotion that doesn’t feel good. I often talk about mental muscle-memory: you have habits of feeling certain things when you are in the corresponding environments and they repeat. Eventually, it’s just reality and “the issues you face in life.” So when you’re working on creating positive change it will feel uncomfortable, tedious or even scary because of this muscle memory. It feels insurmountable but it's not, in reality - it's just because you’re used to feeling bad and it’s now associated with “comfort” and safety. I will give you tools to overcome this habit so that you can "wake up" and decide who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. It's a revolution against old habits you don't want in your life! Join the resistance!!!!! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes!! Would make me very happy! For the blog version of this, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com - will be up in the next couple days. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, This is a quieter version of the "Emotional Soothing & Balancing Reflection Exercise" and it has no music beds, in case you get distracted by that kinda thing. It's for you to play while taking a walk around the block or sitting in a quiet place - to help you check-in with you and visualize just how awesome you are. For more on this topic, check out my blog and my book on TeaspoonOfHappy.com If you want to listen to the music tracks separately, here are two links to my recommended playlist. :) miss piaf: http://goo.gl/UyOdTW mr. orbison: http://goo.gl/bXYjGX Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a little power-up episode for balancing and soothing your emotional self and visualizing the present and the future for what it is: awesome. Your work on yourself is not for nothing. This is a podcast to acknowledge that. A lot of change and even a lack of change can feel scary and unsettling, but in reality, it's all good. So today I would like to offer you a simple reflection exercise so that you might gaze around your life, see beauty, feel gratitude, and embrace the wonderful change you are making around you. Also, this episode is scored with a couple "empowering tracks" compliments of my faves list on Youtube - links to both tracks are listed below! For more of my writing check out the latest on TeaspoonOfHappy.com xox Smile lovely friends!! miss piaf: http://goo.gl/UyOdTW mr. orbison: http://goo.gl/bXYjGX Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s a pretty universal experience: you plan out your whole life, everything’s on track to be what you’d imagined it’d be, and then seemingly out of nowhere your whole life begins to unravel and your “perfect picture” falls apart. One moment you’re winning at the game of life: the career, the relationship, the paycheck, the “perfect future”… the next, you get fired, your partner dumps you, your bank account gets leveled – suddenly the path you saw before you evaporates and you feel like you have nothing at all. Losing your “staples” in life – those things that defined the way you spent your time – forces you to look at EVERYTHING differently. The people you hang out with, the restaurants you go to, your living situation as a whole down to the way you spend a Saturday night. Not to mention – the holidays are on their way and the thought of all of it, now solo, can make it feel overwhelming to say the least. If you’re suffering from shattered-future shellshock and are not sure what to do, and you’re in pain, this is for you. If you're in need of some weekly positivity, check out teaspoonofhappy.com and subscribe to the Sunday newsletter. I'll also post a blog version of this on Teaspoon and Hello Giggles so if you prefer to read, keep your eyes peeled. Sending you my love and vibes of positivity, xox Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a power up episode for if you are stuck in your head and can't seem to shake a state of self-nego-talk and worry. If you're stuck on what is "supposed to be" and can't seem to focus on the truth - that you are a rare and one-of-a-kind miracle. This is a message for you so that you can remember you are singular. Meaning, you are spectacular and wonderful - just as you are and there will never be anyone with gifts and a voice just like yours. You are innately beautiful and brilliant if you allow yourself to just - be. Not to hurt and not to suffer- but to thrive, in happiness. If you want to read more, I will post this as a blog on my website as well. (Teaspoonofhappy.com) Hope you like and I send you my love! xox Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have been feeling anxious or depressed lately, unmotivated to do much, or maybe you’re just over-all bummed, there’s a good chance it’s not tied to anything negative about your life at all. What I mean is, often feeling bummed is simply a symptom of a blip in your happiness-chemicals. If you’ve been hunting through various factors in your life – searching for what could be a cause of your unhappiness, before you hunt any further, stop to give yourself an emotional tune-up. When the source of your problems is not apparent, it’s the first and most obvious place to look! Might be time to balance your chemical levels! I will help you take your emotions to the fastest, easiest mechanic – okay, enough of the puns… It’s important to medicate the physical body and not take every emotion at face value - so if you’ve been feeling a bit crummy lately and you’re not sure why, this is a podcast for you. Firstly – I’m gonna describe what you might be experiencing right now. Second – I’m gonna describe what might be hurting you: aka some typical causes. Third – I’m gonna give you some super simple tools to Turn That Ship Around. That’s my main mantra for getting myself out of a bad mood – I use it all the time and it works like a charm! I picture a little happy tugboat that sees a giant storm overhead and is like, “Whoo hoo! Let’s bust a U!” If you prefer to read, I will also post this in blog form on my site, TeaspoonOfHappy.com I’m also going add an emotional tune up in this Sunday’s Teaspoon Newsletter, so subscribe if you want to get that, too. Don’t forget to smile peeps! And if you likee, please review me on iTunes! xo p.s. This episode was written for Moon - I hope it helps and thanks for the suggestion girl! xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a power-up episode for anyone who’s suffering from the FOMO’s or what I like to call comparison self-hating. If you’re getting down on yourself about anything, take a listen for a quick jumpstart! Hope this helps! This is especially for you, Moon! Hope it helps xox Sarah-May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Often when you grow up with caregivers or relationships with people who are inconsistent, unstable, deceptive and unreliable, as a natural result you end up completing the other half of the Yin-Yang and it becomes inherent to your make-up as a person. You grow opposite and complimentary strengths – and those strengths actually reward you in lots of ways, not to mention, it feels good to be able to take care of others and make it happen. However – here’s the kicker – as a result, in the rest of your life, you unconsciously seek out others you can compliment in the exact same way, which means you often end up with partners and friends who are just as incapable or flawed. It’s not your fault, it’s just the dynamic you’re comfortable with. It’s also because that’s who is drawn to you: they crave what you can give and once they see you giving it, they cling to you. You also have a very specific form of trauma in that you expect and anticipate disappointing behavior from everyone in your life. Why wouldn't you? Based on your life experience, to trust is to place yourself in harm's way. Not to fear! This is not a damning situation in the least. You have the building blocks for something much greater than if you hadn’t had this upbringing at all. You can build the muscle to trust others and you can also build the muscle that will allow you to find trustworthy people. Your solution will take conscious and consistent work, but it’ll be simple and somewhat automatic, so don’t stress. It will unfold on its own, and it can start right now with 3 very conscious, deliberate steps. I’m going to introduce you to those steps right now. For more about me and to read more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com If you likee please review me on iTunes! 'Twould help me a lot. xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who’s in a place in their life where you feel like your body is an unpredictable enemy, or maybe you're terrified of it or you're stuck in a vicious loop of dieting. Maybe your body is acting weird and you cannot tell what’s going on with it at all. My friend Leila is a guest host today because she and I both went to the same amazing MD/nutritionist and the basic education we got was so blow-my-mind amazing, we had to share it with you. It’s amazing how many misconceptions we had about food and the way your body relates to it. In short – this episode is about Nutrition and Metabolism 101 – cause of a lot of us don’t know about that stuff! I didn’t. The goal of the episode is to help you build holistic health. It’s about why it’s most important to come from health if you want to look great and you want your body to look great. If you want that – build it right. Otherwise you’re screwing the future-you out of a whole lot of happiness and also likely putting a whole lot of stress on your metabolism. Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the show notes with added info links! Link to the blog post is now here: Diet Fear http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/2014/9/28/diet-fear Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve recently gotten dumped or you can’t fit in with the crowd you want to hang out with, this is a blog for you. Firstly, I am sorry you are here because it’s definitely painful and lonely – but know that this is not forever, it’s not because of anything being wrong with you, and it’s actually a gift in disguise. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about when people you love disappoint you. If you're stuck in a loop of bad behavior and find yourself set up again and again, maybe even to the point that a confrontation has come about, this is a podcast for you. Whether it's a friend, family member, or significant other, the solution lies in setting your expectations to zero. Not in a bad way - in a realistic and self-loving, healthy way. When someone you love constantly disappoints you, what is really hurting you is your expectation not being met. If you want to keep this relationship, you’ve got to be able to accept both outcomes, and be okay with that. I know that’s easier said than done so I will cover the what, why and how in these types of relationships in hopes that you will better find a solution if you happen to be in a relationship like this. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for anyone looking to foster their inner beauty: that glow of light that only comes from the inside out, an interview with choreographer (and one of my fave girls) Sophie Olson. It’s a bit of inspiration juice for anyone working on building their self-love or working on body image issues, from a girl who’s contagiously passionate and extremely sweet. Sophie Olson has choreographed music videos for Zooey Deschanel and is the creator of the S.O.D.E. Mobile Dance program. Visit her at SophieOlsonDanceExplosion.com Topics include creative inspiration, body-image and motivation. I hope you enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone stuck in a relationship that hurts them. There’s also a blog version on Hello Giggles and Teaspoon of Happy. Often people find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships, anticipating negative behavior and growing sick inside with worry. Because so many of the unhealthy relationships are with people you would consider family, it’s extremely painful and confusing to get out of one. You will find yourself tortured with guilt, questioning and doubting your own motives. You might find yourself saying things like “But I have to!” rationalizing why it's easier to stay in it than try to leave. This is a relationship is felt much like a hostage situation would be: you have a proverbial gun held to your head by the implied impact of your actions. In other words: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don't, so for now you're trapped and can’t get out. If this sounds familiar, this episode is a toolkit for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Good Fight is an episode for anyone suffering and stuck in fights they don't want to be in, whether it's with a friend, spouse or coworker. I know it can be rough on the soul, but fights give you the potential to grow closer to others. If you’re fighting, it means you’re both invested in the relationship. Even if things seem dire, don’t lose hope— sometimes all you need are the right tools to help you get there. x Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is your "Achilles" type? Know that the bad choices you make are not your fault — it’s likely that you cannot see the patterns in your choices because it's encoded into your chemistry, based on your upbringing. It’s all part of your “love map” – basically the foundation for what you believe around love, commitment and relationships. This is an episode for anyone who has a track record of choosing bad relationships, whether it’s friends or love interests. I will go through the basics of bad relationship matches: how to spot them and why they are the way they are. I'll also offer you insight into what could be drawing you toward these types in the first place so that you can choose be intentional about looking for different types moving forward. Also, I have a special guest with me— the love of my life and my future hubby, Adam. Yay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is to help you cure yourself of self-inflicted pain, the kind caused by a focus on what you believe is lacking in your life. Whether that suffering comes from worry, an obsession with weight, or a feeling that you need someone else in order to be happy, happiness comes from aligning your goals with your highest values. True happiness results from what is in your best interests, wholistically. Once you set the right goals, the recurring negative results fall away: things like self-bullying, worry and negativity. I invite you to take a listen and decide on a better set of goals - including a commitment to your happiness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is about things that cause us to feel ashamed and what those things have in common. It's about examining the roots of these acts so that you can let them go, move on with your life and live more happily. If there's anything that you don't want in your life, you can decide to change it today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a little emotional power-up for when you get stuck in all the "stuff" and clouded by thoughts. It's to help you refocus on what is great about today and how amazing it is to be alive. Don't forget to enjoy your life while you living it and look around once in a while! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an emotional power-up for a dose of perspective and inspiration. It's for anyone who's afraid to make a big life change because they think it's too late or too hard at this point. There's no such thing as too late, because no one has lived your life but you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a dating toolkit for staying committed to what you want for yourself in a relationship. There are tools for overcoming extreme want, avoiding bad relationships, and building a path to meet "the one." Tools include several chapters from the "Help Me Be Me" book, including "The Love List" and "The Big Red Hat." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices