Help Me Be Me

For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled... Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them. This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com The two articles I mention in this episode are here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who with a tendency toward a lack perspective – maybe you default to a survival mode of unconscious “doing” and because of that your life is somewhat based in “not enough” / a sense of being less-than. This is a recipe to help you transition out of that. The motivation for this episode is I have always had a fear/lack perspective and a desire for safety, which was underlying many of my decisions in adult life. I think this is also something interwoven into confidence/self-love issues. So take note if that seems true for you. It may show up as being risk-adverse. Or subtly resisting powerful roles in your life. Or perhaps in the way you date: choosing people who have serious issues. This is all about getting into that state of inner “shine.” Feeling fully alive and present and living your life from this energy, as an intentional practice. Not just “checking the boxes, doing the things and keeping up” but shining from the inside out. What does shine energy feel like? Bounty. Joy. Love and energy – like “I can run the whole way down the trail.” Like “I am a kid again and there is no such thing as gravity or fatigue.” But not just in a physical sense. In a view of the world, sense. Here’s the book I am reading (and liking) that I mentioned called The Enlightenment Project: https://amzn.to/3bsAP81 Here’s Martha Beck’s podcast “The Gathering Pod” that I mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gathering-pod/id1544173982 To make a donation or see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone considering attending couples counseling and you are unsure of what to look for or perhaps you are hesitant about going because you don’t know if it will be effective. This is also for if you are in fight loops and your conflicts are not being solved and things are being heightened. If you find that you are both throwing out intense ultimatums and yet both staying in the relationship, it’s definitely worth trying – and also shopping for the right person who brings out the deeper emotional truths in both of you. If you haven’t done it before – this is my opinion as a married person: Why you’re doing it as well as what happens while you’re there. I also think a lot of people believe, “I’m doing everything right and my partner is doing everything wrong.” And they go to couples counseling not knowing what the goal is or expecting the counselor to tell their partner, “You are wrong and you should listen to everything your partner is saying.” And so I wanted to give you my two cents on how to approach couples counseling in the hopes that it will allow you to get something better out of it. So this may help you identify a goal for yourself in therapy – with your partner, so you can curate that result. I think of a couples counselor as a translator in many ways. They are also containers for the deeper feelings to be revealed so that both can shift behavior toward love and or decisions that are loving. Take what helps and leave the rest! Sending love. For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is my (fan-girl) interview with Pam Grout – author, amazing human being & teacher of love and positivity. She has written 20 books including E-Squared, E-Cubed, Thank & Grow Rich and her latest, The Course in Miracles Experiment: A Starter Kit for Rewiring Your Mind. One of the topics we discuss is disengaging from expectations! A lot of people struggle with unconsciousness. By that I mean getting lost in thoughts. In busyness. In mental commentating. In future expectations. We don’t realize how powerful expectations are as well as judgment of neutral facts–in creating our reality. When we can be open to seeing the alternate version of that same reality everything changes. Including the future we create for ourselves. If you want to find Pam definitely read her blog and subscribe to get them via email: https://pamgrout.com/ Here's her new book - The Course in Miracles Experiment: https://amzn.to/3RGGQyp And if you want to make a donation to the 222 Foundation, you can head here: https://www.dccfoundation.org/fund/Taz-Grouts-222-Fund If you want to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A meditation on the feeling of non-stop seeking and grasping toward things that exist on the outside – versus asking from the inside, how can my life become more meaningful. I think a lot of people look outward for a source of success and fulfillment: in what others say, in what we have, in all the proof points of “I am enough.” And that is reinforced by the systems in place: social media, devices, content, entertainment… This is an episode that invites you to consider: Maybe there’s nothing to fix, but the problem lies in our grasping and avoiding of discomfort. This episode also invites you to scan back on your life and look at what truer values are for your happiness – the things you don’t necessarily see reflected back to you on a phone. What are the moments that only you appreciate and how can you bring out more of them in your life? It starts with becoming aware of this habit loop in the first place. The book I mention in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3IluA22 For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For anyone who perhaps is negotiating standing up for yourself and also accommodating your relationship to make it peaceful and loving, and unsure of how to balance those two things. You might find that your fight loops are repeating and you are unhappy because of that. You both are likely seeking love and closeness but also wanting change. This is targeted at those in relationships that are well established. For example, when the novelty has worn off and any imbalances have had time to set in. You might be asking - do I want to be with this person or is this relationship hopeless? What do I want? What’s happening in my relationship? Is this at all fixable? We both used to be happy but now I am flipping between love and hate, pretty often. OR you might be asking– why can’t my partner see me? Why can’t they meet my needs when they are so small? What the hell happened… things were great and as soon as I brought up my needs, this turned into something so much worse. Am I crazy? This is a topic that obviously has a lot of variables – but this will at least give you something to reflect on if this sounds like your situation. And every solution will be different and based on you and your partner – so don’t force anything that doesn’t feel right for you. There are 3 parts to this episode– the what, why, and how–the tools, and we will hear from our sponsors right before the tools section. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com ! xo The book on love languages is this one: https://amzn.to/3bdC7mW And here is a love language quiz to take: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, this is for you: National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ 800-799-7233 Hours: 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it take to own yourself? To be fully confident in your voice and unapologetically yourself in all situations. I think it takes being deeply rooted in our skin. I feel like a lot of us are robbed of parts of ourselves throughout our life – whether that’s during adolescence when you’re trying to fit in, or as an adult in a relationship where you are not confident in your beliefs and the other person talks you out of your feelings. As we grow up and grow stronger – we may reclaim parts of ourselves. Our values shift, and we may gather the pieces of past broken selves and put them back together – as a true part of us. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this process. So this is an episode in service of that – being unapologetically yourself, fully embodied, and validated just by your own opinions. As I mentioned if you are a person who is in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and you know you want to exit it, this is a resource to start with: https://www.thehotline.org/ Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call the domestic violence hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for anyone who is at the cusp of counseling or is negotiating a power struggle in their relationship. I think for a lot of people it can be hard to know if you are happy or if you want to stay, or if you are actually ready to leave a relationship. It’s one of those things that requires a lot of talk and reflection, and it gets even more complicated because of how interwoven it is with everything in your life as an individual. Relationships are hard, and if you want them to work long-term they take a lot of maintenance, work and also introspection. A lot of the time keeping them healthy means voicing your issues and being strong enough to walk away if it requires that. This is an episode that is mostly tools. I wrote it for anyone who is in a difficult relationship situation. Maybe you are thinking of getting counseling or you are currently in a power struggle. And it’s tailored to codependents and those of us who get stuck in the swallowing our needs, feeling if we just try hard enough EVENTUALLY we will get the love and respect we crave. If you are in a dangerous relationship and need help to exit in a way that is safe for you head to this resource: https://www.thehotline.org/ Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233). For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and to become a Patreon head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dream work is much more personal and specific to you – it’s powerful and amazing. And once you unlock the meaning behind one dream, I think you will be hooked. Because it’s like a shortcut to the suppressed feelings that are too far away from your conscious mind to be readily accessed. You might find that you have different feelings on topics than you think you do. I have found new confidence and awakening through dreamwork. I have also found insights that make me appreciate myself more. I have also discovered what I really felt despite what was going on in my present consciousness. I invite you to work with some of the material in your dreams to see what it alights in you! This episode will get weird. But I think there’s a lot of power in dream work. I do it often. You can of this as the laymen’s casual intro to dreamwork – if you are curious about it. This is based on my personal dream work – how I’ve learned to work with my own dreams. I used to think that dream work was total bullshit because if you google it and read most any casual postings on how to interpret your dreams, it does not translate. This is a totally experimental episode – and if you hate hearing about other people’s dreams, then not an episode for you! The big picture book on dream work that I spoke about is this: https://amzn.to/38AT49m The Jung books I recommended are here: https://amzn.to/37StaxV https://amzn.to/3EXguC4 https://amzn.to/3kqAVxX https://amzn.to/3rY3FlY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode aimed at helping you tune in to what you think and feel and becoming aware of the external pressures that may be hindering your creativity. There are a lot of journal prompts for reflecting on what it is you want – truly, and also ways to resist the performative masks you might be wearing in your life. This is also a selfish episode aimed at making all of you out there a bit more silly, fun and in your skin. Because I think we need it. I think we need less looking perfect, less oversimplification, less judgement. More complexity, weirdness and openness. A lot of people in the world are lonely and feel isolated. I think that a lot of this comes from a feeling of being dehumanized by professional spheres, working remotely as well as living and communicating on the internet. I send you my love and if you want to check out more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fear is a state of mind. This is for you if you are currently doing any self-work and trying to grow your confidence especially when it comes to overthinking your decisions. It's something to practice if you’re in a fear-state or overly identified with your thoughts. It's for when you have pain around life being what it is, in the form of regret. There are tools for self-forgiveness via acceptance of what is and what was. Or gentle practices around forgiveness especially in the moments of self-doubt when you cringe at something you’ve done or said. So this is really cringing of all kinds! Past and recent – the goal here: know thyself. This is for moving into a state of relief and safety. I intend it for you to use when it relates to yourself – feelings of self-doubt you may have when you don't trust yourself or overthink everything you do. For more of my work head to Yaywithme.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for emotional pain related to leaving a relationship that is not working. This is really a follow up to the “bad relationship” episode. I have gotten several requests in this area so I’m going to try and give you some tools to really process what you want, why that is valid, and relieve some of the negative thoughts that may come about when you try and leave a bad relationship. This is for re-centering yourself and finding a bit of peace in the face of your own decision making. A lot of us struggle with guilt and second-guessing ourselves when so much is at stake. It’s incredibly painful and challenging to move through a loss voluntarily – so if you are contemplating leaving – and it’s been a long time, then I would guess it’s that bad. It’s not easy to do. Don’t take it lightly. I wanted to give you a heads up – this episode has a lot of tools because it’s really geared toward help and mental processing. For anyone who is in a relationship that poses danger to your physical safety, and in need of support to exit/escape that relationship here is a great resource: National Domestic Violence Hotline. 24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service 800-799-7233. Text "start" to 88788, or chat live at thehotline.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode all about how to move out of a state of comparison – one that prevents us from being a creative, embodied self. I would also say this is an episode for anyone out there who is painfully sensitive – like myself. It can be almost scary to put your heart on the line and invest in an act of self-expression. Your own mind can be the most stunting voice blocking you from being in a flow-state. The tools in this episode has a little of everything – all aimed at moving out of negative energy that is critical and into that more open, expansive, positive energy of creation. For more of my work you can head to Yaywithme.com and to become a sponsor you can also visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, this is my interview with Becca Piastrelli, author of a new book entitled, “Root and Ritual - Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self.” One important thread in this episode is unhooking from the systems of urgency, productivity, and denial of your body’s inner clock that happens due to the speed of technology. We also discuss the importance and power of ritual and how you can grow that in your life – something that is especially valuable if you have no current source of belief or spirituality in your life. I had to “regrow” my sense of spirit in my adult life and in doing so I have found so much relief and grounding. I would recommend this episode for anyone who craves something deeper in life or perhaps you feel lonely, depressed, isolated and a lack of meaning in life, currently. For more of my work and to give feedback, you can head to Yaywithme.com xo Here’s a link to Becca’s book: https://amzn.to/3tdUoWI And here’s a link to one of our sponsors this week – Circles! If you struggle emotionally, you don't have to go through it alone. Be it grief over the loss of a special someone, the pain of divorce or separation, complex relationships or other challenges - Circles offers theme-based online support circles facilitated by professionals. Circles meet weekly in group video meetings and are also available for mutual support in a 24/7 group chat. You can try it out for free for 30 days and Help Be Be Me listeners get an additional 50% off on your second month! Sign up here https://bit.ly/3IIPUhm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We choose our life with our energy. What are you choosing with your energy, currently? In this episode I am going to invite you to become conscious in the sense that I will invite you to disengage from your thought patterns. To make room for newness and stay in a state of flow and at the very least– non-attachment, throughout your day. When we practice this deliberately, we can navigate life more freely and reinvent ourselves time and time again. We just have to step back from whatever we are doing and become aware of what we are practicing. When you can curate a sense of openness and freedom, amazing things happen! The day actually gets longer! And there’s more air, more color, more beauty. So choose the right thoughts and tune that energy. Xo For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is in a bad relationship and they suspect the other person is cheating or lying and you don’t know what to do about it. Maybe you are still chasing that high from when you first met them or you’re holding out for the brief moments of time when you guys connect and you feel totally intoxicated by love. We often ignore red flags and bad behavior because we see the potential in someone and we think we can love them enough, support them enough and that person can come through. But at the end of the day what matters most is who this person is capable of being. Not who they could be in your eyes. If you're taking a lot of bad behavior, I would guess that this relationship makes you feel more bad than good and if you could snap your fingers and make it disappear, you’d choose to get out of it. If any of this sounds familiar, I can relate. I have walked in your shoes. I send you my love and I hope this helps! Xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to deal with parents who are emotionally unsupportive, unloving, say mean things, are manipulative or compare you to others. The goal of this episode is to move on and heal so that you can be happier and more loving to others. It’s a starting point for putting down the wounds and not living through that place of need, so much. I do think this is an issue best tackled with a therapist because you have do a lot of processing and get perspective. I am a huge fan of therapy and I can’t recommend it enough! You can change everything in your life – including how you relate to others in your family – just by changing yourself. So if you want a healthier relationship with your family, I would start there. I know this is a tough and painful wound. It doesn’t have to define you forever. Start with a goal and everything else will organically unfold. Sending much love… xo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for anyone who feels like they are obsessed with being prettier, younger, something-er, in some external way, and you feel that it is reducing your wellbeing in life. This came up when I was interviewed by Melissa Rivers. She asked something like, “What if you’re never happy with the way you look? How do you stop feeling that way?” What she was struggling with was the emptiness and that feeling of never enough that comes with a constant pursuit of beauty. The products, the treatments, the correcting of some flaw we see in our physical selves. What happens if you are an image-focused person, or you happen to live in a society that is super image-focused, is you get warped. You stop being able to see yourself and instead you only see what is wrong with yourself. So if you could use a new lens, this is an episode for you! And heads up – it’s a messy episode! Sorry hahaha. My whole family has COVID right now. Happy new year lovely friends… xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is targeted at you having a vision of a future life that is beautiful and rewarding. Seeing it clearly. And not being embarrassed about going through that process. If you – like me, are often too embarrassed to take on practices like this, then I want to call that out. How silly is that, right? If that’s one thing that we can all put down at the end of this year – for good. Never be too embarrassed to try something out. To invest in it. To mean it. It’s wasted energy. Feeling silly held me back from so much. But no longer! I think allowing your mind to wander and paint pretty pictures of different futures is so instrumental in seeing the ratio you want to create in your current schedule. In order to see a life that will make us happier, we have to be able to think outside our sphere, and our routine. Which can be challenging! As we head into the end of the year and toward the new year, I think one really important step is getting clear about what you want. I don’t mean making a vision board – unless that is something you enjoy doing that you find resonates with you – then by all means go for it! I have a vision of being in the UK for a month, and the way my routine dictates my life, that will not come about unless I really get into the reflection and action stage of that dream. The reason for this is I remember early on in my self-help beginnings I was kind of tentative about investing in the guidance given, specifically when it required I dream big. Like I was still “on the outside” of the genre and poking fun at it, deciding how much of it I believed and how much I thought was cliché horse doodoo. And now what I would consider well along the path of my self-help dive, I think one thing that is very important if you are growing and building toward something –is being able to see a life you want. I think that can be difficult especially when you are limited by a routine or feeling stuck. It's also something that feels a little “fluffy” like it’s a waste of time. So this is an episode that makes a case for why this is important and also very powerful. And at the end we are going to go through some actual exercises to start to ideate around the life you want. Sending you so much love and if you are in search of additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB To make a donation and to see more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who needs some help to navigate difficult feelings and situations that come up around the holidays – whether that be dealing with family drama, overwhelm, or loneliness. If a lot of “stuff” is coming up for you right now, know that you are not alone. A lot of feels come up during the end of the year: it’s heightened. There are a lot of expectations – ours and those of loved ones. We tend to feel like we need to be somewhere in our life, be with someone, have certain things, or be a certain way – especially when it comes to putting on a certain face around family. And if you are working on yourself, it can be just enough to push you over the edge of “okay” toward “freaking out” or “overwhelmed.” So the shorthand of this episode is – do what you need to do to take care of yourself and honor yourself! That and be very aware of your thoughts: don’t let them take over your experience of this time. You get to choose the thoughts you want to follow, and the ones that are not helpful. Sending much love – and if you want to check out additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB To make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com/Donate To support our sponsors this week: Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. Visit ritual.com/HELPMEBEME and turn healthy habits into a Ritual. Go to StoryWorth.com/HelpMeBeMe and save $10 on your first purchase! Take your free in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to Prose.com/HelpMeBeMe Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/HelpMeBeMe Terms and conditions apply Turn artistic visions into reality this Holiday season with Maker Crate from KiwiCo! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code HELPMEBEME at KiwiCo.com Match with a licensed therapist when you go to Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code HELPMEBEME Worry less and feel happier. Sign up for your trial at Noom.com/HelpMeBeMe Go to Charlottesweb.com and use code HelpMeBeMe at checkout to save 15% on your order. This code works on all CBD products besides bulk bundles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To listen to when you start to get into that energy of unaccomplished/ugly/stupid/fat/alone/I don’t like myself for fill-in-the-blank reason. This is an episode aimed at returning you to a feeling of confidence and embodiment, in the immediate onset of the “I suck” energy. I think one thing that comes up – all the time, but often during holidays when we are returning to old friends, siblings, family – is that sense of comparison. And a heightened sense of self-awareness. And it can be triggering – we can often be leveled back to an old self – one less balanced, less confident, or less convicted in who they are. So this is an episode to hopefully help you get back to “YOU” in the all caps written-in-lights, sense. You can understand your felt experience as in large part authored by the set of thoughts you repeat to yourself. So the goal is to get back to a place where we’re repeating the right kinds of thoughts to ourselves! The ones that make us feel our own sense of limitlessness. You are awesome and you know how to take care of yourself. The most important thing is to START taking some constructive actions. Start building the house of confidence back up – layer by layer! I send you much love and if you want to support any of our sponsors this week check out: Kiwico.com Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code HELPMEBEME at kiwico.com ! Lightstream.com/HelpMeBeMe Apply now to get a special interest rate discount and save even more at Lightstream.com/HelpMeBeMe Prose.com/HelpMeBeMe Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Apostrophe.com/HelpMeBeMe Go to Apostrophe.com/HelpMeBeMe and click Begin Visit, then use our code HELPMEBEME at sign up and you’ll get your first visit for only five dollars! TalkSpace.com Match with a licensed therapist when you go to talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code HELPMEBEME Go to HelloFresh.com/HelpMeBeMe14 and use code HelpMeBeMe14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com and for additional content, head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a super short episode because it’s aimed at a very specific reflection exercise. It came about because one thing that I have noticed in my One-One-one sessions, is that people repeatedly say the change they want, very clearly, though they often don't hear themselves saying it. The change you want and need to make – in order to be happier– is simple and finite, if we can just hear ourselves. However, often we don’t because we are saying it unconsciously. So this is an episode all about how to make that thing conscious. It's all about discovering what you are yearning for, what you want to change, what condition is making you unhappy, and how to alter that simply. It’s a shorter episode because it’s really simple as an idea – and it really revolves around some specific journal prompts. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a reflection episode all about how to foster originality and grow your sense of selfhood (and self-love). There’s something that happens when people become a mass – there’s a leaning toward sameness. This is a recording in service of inviting you all to lean into the things you think, feel and do, that no one else does. How to stand by yourself. And with that, I believe you will grow a loving friendship with yourself. For more of my work check out YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a sensory kind of reflection on feeling more tied to your sense of wonder and aliveness. An invitation to anyone who gets into a default of doing and checking off boxes, versus feeling a sense of awe and rest. This is a spur of the moment record done post-rain, an offering I wanted to throw out there for anyone who is looking to bring more play into their lives. It’s my current “frame” by which I am reexamining the habits I have in my life. I hope you enjoy! Xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an interview I do with longtime friend Lauri Burns, founder of The Teen Project. It’s all about that little voice that guides us from within and how we can strengthen our awareness of it so we can be guided when we need it the most. Warning: this episode has some sad topics in it, including abuse of children. If you need to skip that part you can stop listening right when I ask Lauri to tell a story from her new book. For anyone who wants to donate to The Teen Project: Visit TheTeenProject.com For the book about Lauri’s life story (cover featuring yours truly) check out: https://amzn.to/3mchiv4 For the book from the girls of Vera’s Sanctuary: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/sanctuary-of-the-heart For her new book check The Teen Project website in December! What is that little voice that nudges me at the most random times? How does it sound? How can I tap into it more and allow it to guide me? This is for anyone who wants to grow their sense of spirituality, or even just understand that little voice that I am calling “intuition” a bit more. It’s that weird little voice that nudges you to go back and investigate something random and then you find your long lost wedding ring. Or that thought you get of someone you love who is deceased, but then you find an oddly perfect letter from them – that pertains to this moment. To be clear - I am not preaching any God in this episode, I am describing something that could be totally scientifically explained. It’s really about opening up to recognizing that we have these other senses that are very attuned to things that our mind cannot understand. I personally grew up with a bad experience of religion – and nowadays religion is less popular than ever, despite this, I think we life suffers without an awareness of this “muscle” – this sense, in ourselves. And when we get triggered or creeped out by spirituality or the non-explainable, we are deliberately shutting off a part of ourselves that can sense into much “greater” than the known/explained universe. Those nudges of intuition are subtle and often bizarre. The voice cannot be rationalized or explained because it’s smarter than our brain – so that’s where I want to start: don’t try and rationalize your way through this episode. If you trust me at all, be open to entertaining the topics discussed. Also for anyone I trigger with this episode. That is totally fine and I get it. Put this on a shelf and listen to it on a day you feel more playful and curious. Personally, when I was in the thick of my pain and recovery of various types – I wasn’t able to believe in anything lofty. I was screening out anyone who might think anything too lofty. So I relate to you. I will say a lot of that comes from just being in a place where you are struggling to get grounded and even know how you feel – in your body. So that is where your priorities should lie. Sending love your way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is really about when we start to enact the emotions, fears, losses, and wounds of someone in a previous generation – be that a parent, a parent's parents, or maybe a combination of these plus a self from many years ago who went through something really painful and damaging. Regardless, it can make you act out some pretty big feelings that are not truly aligned with the way you live your life in the present. This is how the course of our relationships can be changed for the worse - unless we become aware of these unconscious scripts. SO MUCH of what we feel and enact is not ours. And it can wreak havoc on your closest adult relationships. So if something emotional is coming up for you that feels heightened or it happens to be looping, this may be an episode for you! The book I mention in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3lyYCVZ To support our sponsors this week, check out Charlotte’s Web CBD and use promo code HELPMEBEME at check out to save 50% on your order (except bulk bundles)! If you want ground beef for the life of your membership, head to ButcherBox.com/HelpMeBeMe and use promo code HELPMEBEME at checkout And if you want some delicious yummy cereal that is actually good for you, check out MagicSpoon.com/HelpMeBeMee and use promo code HELPMEBEME Xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For those in the throes of an obsession with an addict or high on your codependency – maybe you’re in love with someone and they start using or you discover they have an addiction, be that drugs, sex, alcohol. And they have continued to use despite you telling them you need them to stop. If you are in the midst of a relationship that suddenly turned crazy due to one partner resuming an addiction, this can lead to you feeling crazy, yourself. This is to listen to in the moment this occurs – especially if you feel like you are losing yourself and your sanity. Major caveat: This is for if you have an adult in your life who is using – not if you are a parent with a child who is using. Things are complicated when you have a child because you are responsible for caring for them and they are not adults yet capable of caring for themselves. I would not give you the same advice. I know it’s tough when you are in an area where there is no access to good 12-step meetings – so if you don’t have any friends, family, or concrete resources like a good therapist with experience in addiction or a good meeting like COSA, Alanon or SLA, then this is for you. Because I listed this in the episode and they are one of my sponsors – please check out: BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for online access to therapists! To support our sponsors this week check out: Want to grow your skills as a designer and maker? Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping with code HELPMEBEME at KiwiCo.com FlexFits.com/HELPMEBEME and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off Flex DiscStarter Kits—or 10% off your first Flex Cup—PLUS free U.S. shipping! HelloFresh.com/HelpMeBeMe and use code helpmebeme14 for up to 14 free meals, including free shipping! SarahFlint.com/HelpMeBeMe for $50 off a gorgeous Italian-made pair of shoes. The two books I mention in this episode are here for the daily reflection book: https://amzn.to/3CWwke8 And here for the audiobook: https://amzn.to/2Y2uklu And hang in there. I know this part is really not fun. Xoxo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a follow-up episode to the previous boundaries episode a few weeks ago. It’s to listen to when you are in need of help in setting boundaries with a loved one, if you need some more tactical advice. I cover things to say to that person as well as ways to ground if you are feeling confused and lost in their arguments. It’s also mainly to remind you that boundaries are positive and loving for all people – you and the people in your life you are setting them with. Sending much love and know that it gets easier and more logical as you practice this! Xox! To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB To support our sponsors this week – and this show check out: ButcherBox! ButcherBox is offering our listeners Ground Beef For Life! For a limited time, ButcherBox™ is giving new members 2 pounds of free ground beef in every order for the life of your membership. Sign up at ButcherBox.com/HELPMEBEME and get 2 pounds of ground beef free in every order for the life of your membership. Log on to ButcherBox.com/HELPMEBEME to claim this deal! And try out PayPal at your local CVS! To get $10 cash back on your first transaction of $20 or more, just head to your local CVS and pay using your PayPal or Venmo app. That’s $10 cash back on your first purchase of $20 or more with the PayPal or Venmo app. To see terms and learn more about how to earn $10 cashback, go to Paypal.com/HELPMEBEME And lastly, if you’re a creator who is eager to start conversations about the world of work, apply and create more than content, create conversation. Visit LinkedIn.com/CREATORS to apply today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who wants to quit something but is terrified of trying again – or feels hopeless about it. Or overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t like life without this thing enough to stay off of it. Or you are too disheartened to try again. I would bet that although you still do it, you hate this thing so much. You hate that it causes you so much sadness and lost time. And lost self-esteem. And you wish more than anything that you could just press a button and this thing would be gone from your life. That you didn’t have to struggle with this problem. A problem that stays between you and others. That keeps you from love or health or confidence. Of really feeling you can invest in your life being long and happy. I know that feeling well. It’s like living as a dead person – you are always aware of this dark shadow that is – that thing. The deadly addiction. And you want to turn off your ears and mind to it because it really feels like “I have no other option – so why would I listen?” But what you can’t see from here is that change is possible when you have the right logic. Change is totally possible when you have the understanding that allows you to truly let go of this problem. I’ll talk a lot about my particular addictions in this episode. And here are the books that I mention – PLEASE READ ONE!!! For smokers: https://amzn.to/3mVEM8N For vapers: https://amzn.to/3kEK5q9 For over-drinkers (but I think it will apply to drugs, too): https://amzn.to/3mP65RX Another for more severe drinkers: https://amzn.to/3kKvLMQ Haven’t read this but it’s using his principles, about emotional eating: https://amzn.to/3BoYehY This episode is dedicated to my aunt Margaret. I love you. And I will miss you forever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode about good boundaries: how to set them as well as WHY to set them. You can think about having one loose boundary as having a leak in a boat: if there’s one hole (aka I have a bad boundary when it comes to dating – I can’t walk away when they don’t follow through) this means your whole sense of self is perpetually sinking. It resets the baseline for your entire life. You will be compromised in your self-respect, your worth, your self-love. It affects everything about your life. I created this episode because a lot of us don’t know what the hell a boundary is – and also why they directly translate into whether or not you like yourself and love yourself. This is a HUGE CORNERSTONE piece of confidence, happiness, lack of fear, lack of jealousy and the ability to actualize personal growth. If you change this ONE HABIT and begin to set firm boundaries, I kid you not it will change everything about your life for the better. It’s AMAZING in what it affects. IMO, it’s the most freeing and powerful thing you can do. So with that – here is the show! 3 parts – what why and how the tools. To check out my Patreon page including some exclusive content head to Patreon.com/SarahMayB To support our sponsors this week – and this show check out: ButcherBox wants you to enjoy the rest of summer with this special deal! ButcherBox is giving our listeners a special offer of 3lbs of chicken breast, 2lb of burgers, and one pack of hot dogs for FREE! Right now, new members can get this special deal when they sign up at ButcherBox.com/ HELPMEBEME And try out PayPal at your local CVS! To get $10 cash back on your first transaction of $20 or more, just head to your local CVS and pay using your PayPal or Venmo app. That’s $10 cash back on your first purchase of $20 or more with the PayPal or Venmo app. To see terms and learn more about how to earn $10 cashback, go to Paypal.com/HELPMEBEME Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have experiences that imprint the physical responses we have to stressors in our life – big or small. So if you are feeling a sense of inner chaos and overwhelm, or you are feeling like you cannot handle all that is happening in your life, this is likely at least in part related to your physiological wiring. Meaning the experiences that impacted you the most from your upbringing. Maybe you get that feeling of panic or you have been feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness that causes you to procrastinate. Yes, stress has a lot to do with our literal life circumstances, but what we bring to those circumstances is also a huge piece of the puzzle. So if you are feeling a sense of “I can’t handle it” – or you have been snapping a lot lately, or you’ve been feeling numb – or very irritable, or perhaps very controlling and like a motor that is slowly running into the ground– this is an episode for you. I cover a lot of ways to lighten your load and come back to a place of resource. There are three parts to this episode – the what why and how the tools. If you’re looking into having kids and you’d like to support our latest sponsor, check out Modern Fertility! It’s the easy and affordable way to test your fertility hormones at home with a simple finger prick. Mail it in with a prepaid label, and you’ll get your personalized results within 10 days. Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to www.ModernFertility.com/HelpMe xoxo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is fixating on what is better about someone else and devaluing yourself. The flux that is your own perceived value. It can become an obsession – something that doesn’t let go of your brain – and haunts you almost like a worry you cannot put to rest. I am in particular focusing on the measurement that may be done while online, maybe that’s with social media like Instagram, or with photos – some kind of evidence that you get obsessed with and cannot seem to stop weighing and quantifying. “If this thing I perfect, where do I fall compared to this thing?” Because just like anything, this is a perspective that – with deliberate effort and focus, can be shifted. For more of my work you can head to YayWithMe.com To support our latest sponsors, you can check out BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe Or you can check out the podcast Chatting with Candace on Apple Podcasts! Xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to move on if you didn’t get any explanation as to why someone is ending a relationship. Maybe that’s a romantic relationship. Maybe that’s a work relationship. Or maybe that’s a friendship. Because in that situation you might be searching for grounding that never comes. And this can be one of the hardest ways to end something – because it’s in itself a trauma. If you are in need of more information on this subject, you can check out The Break-Up Album on YayWithMe.com/shop/the-break-up-album That is my “break-up coach in a podcast album” that deals with how to move through a break-up in the most empowering, self-loving way possible. This is really like a truncated version of a chapter in the podcast album. And if you are really struggling, I highly recommend checking out BetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe and chatting with a therapist. This can bring up a lot of old trauma around loss. Regardless - I send you my love and positive vibes of healing and self-discovery! xox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for starting to work your way out of a codependent relationship. When you’re in a relationship that really doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Maybe it feels really unhealthy, or you know you’re not rewarded or happy. But you can’t leave – and you find yourself getting pulled back in again and again. This is also for anyone who is currently in a relationship with a person who they don’t trust. Maybe you have had issues with them in the past – they blame you for the issues in the relationship, they make you feel insecure and that you’re the crazy one. Maybe they have had a negative effect on your life – you’ve distanced from your friends, you have little positive input in your life outside of the time you spend together – and despite knowing that, you can’t seem to do anything about it. Heads up - as with all of my episodes, this is based on my personal experience and not a professional diagnosis. I strongly recommend therapy for this issue in particular. It worked great for me! There are 3 parts to this episode – the what, why and how – the tools! And if you are interested in checking out our sponsor for this episode and getting $200 off all mattresses plus 2 eco-rest pillows, head to BirchLiving.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is focused on becoming more aware and also deliberate in your words – curating a more positive and empowering story for yourself and for those you love and enjoy, in life. This episode is also targeted at helping you to recognize your words: making them conscious and guided – because they very much narrate the future of your life. The ones you use inside and importantly outside, really do tell You and others– how things will go. Also, the stories we tell ourselves are often not even our own. We inherit them from parents or others who have modeled a situation for us in formative years: you might find yourself repeating things and really feeling them – even though they’re not true to your life situation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me! To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here: https://amzn.to/2St6rAs For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tools for regaining a sense of autonomy and self-confidence if you find that you are clinging and overly sensitive to the opinions of others. So if you are in a codependent relationship or you feel trapped in that fear-based loop that can happen when you are too consumed by a relationship, and you feel small and powerless, this is an episode for you. These are exercises – both physical and written- to do in order to condition your mind and body to resume a more empowered headspace. Strong. Self-assured. If you are feeling reliant on someone else or something else – like your value is somehow dictated by that thing, try starting here. I did these steps myself recently and found them to be re-centering and enlightening. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Burnout shows up as a loss of meaning – it might feel like everything is hard, or pointless, or not worth doing. So if you are experiencing something like that, you might be in that stage of “winter” – when we must go on an inner journey. One that brings forth new play and inspiration and growth. Creativity is an energy. A fountain of love and passion and drive and fun. We all must foster it! It brings us life and it brings the truest value we have, into the world. I am posting this for anyone who is experiencing burnout and in search of their origin: their innate sense of creativity. Because creativity is also play. It does not need to be useful – nor should it be. It does not need to be popular or understood. The soul yearns for an expression that is deeply rewarding, brings joy. I want to bring you all some magic and fire this week in the form of this powerup episode. It has a bunch of tools and exercises to invite forth your creative instincts if you are in the stage of burnout. The books/thinkers I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3aIeuzC and here for Parker J Palmer: https://amzn.to/3vgPSWK To help out this show, check out our sponsor: Better Help. Better Help is online access to therapists, around the globe. So if you are depressed or anxious or feeling stuck, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Feeling we are good enough and that our lives and decisions are valid and make sense – so that we can move into an active and inspired state. This is for anyone who is looking at others and feeling like they are falling short – like they should have what they have. Or maybe you’re focusing on their life their stuff their experiences and feeling resentful and desiring to have that stuff. It’s a painful feeling – often one we don’t want to have. So if that sounds like you, this is an episode for you. Three parts – what why and how! Here's my fave dream book: https://amzn.to/3e9xIPU Here's the book that I mentioned in the tools section: https://amzn.to/3akw90l If you'd like to check out some of my research here's one book with some interesting theories: https://amzn.to/3diN0SS This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. The journal I use is this one: https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5 And to apply for the free chat session you can head here: https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/apply-for-a-free-recorded-chat-session This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself? There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What to do if you’re feeling lonely right now, mid-pandemic. This is for anyone who is suffering because of social isolation. Maybe you are single and none of your friends are single. Maybe you are normally able to visit others, or they normally visit you, but COVID stopped most of that. Maybe you had lots of casual friends but now they have dropped off the map. Maybe you used to socialize in bars or at the gym or at work. Regardless you feel like you have no one. And that is terrifying in how distant it feels. Like you’re on an iceberg floating far away from the mainland. So here are some tools to deal if that sounds like you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts: the what why and how. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who has to self-motivate - maybe you're in the in-between times of employment or you’re trying to get something off the ground that you have made yourself, from scratch. When we only have ourselves to be accountable to. It’s easy to feel like nothing you do matters. When in reality, it does. So if this sounds like you right now – these are some words I wanted to pass along. Having been in those places many a time – what I can see, now in retrospect. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is my interview with author and stand-up comic, Sam Tallent. His new book– Running the Light, is fiction– it’s fantastic and it’s available at SamTallent.com A burst of inspiration for anyone worried about whether or not what they want to make– is worth it. This is an episode (inspired by my husband, Adam) all about creativity, going for it and not letting external systems decide your creative output in this life. I found this conversation very energizing and inspiring – I hope you do as well! The book I referenced in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/38xDwkE Some of the books Sam referenced are here: https://amzn.to/38upu35 https://amzn.to/3oA5gub https://amzn.to/2XvyWwE This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends! This is a short episode all about what the theme of this show means to me. So if you're struggling and you don't know why you keep blowing up your life, this is a little bit of inspiration for you. If you don't like therapy or you don't think there's help out there for you, think again and take a listen. And if you've been through trauma at some point in your life - definitely read this book: https://amzn.to/2Wm5KaN ...and don't lose hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a little inspirational power-up episode for anyone who is feeling stuck and uninspired. This was something I wrote 5 years ago but I felt like it could help people today, right now. So if you're feeling uninspired or stuck, this one's for you! The two people I mention in the episode are here: https://thekickasslife.com/ https://amzn.to/3ngWbGl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices