Happier with Gretchen Rubin

We discuss the Real Housewives and their lessons in time, hope, and perseverance. Plus we explore a new trend sweeping the world of Hollywood, and a hack for spring cleaning. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this Ask Us Anything episode, we tackle everything from sibling competition to book clubs to our family custom of not saying “I love you.” Resources & links related to this episode: How a book club can make you happier Want to break that good habit, just this once? How to avoid backsliding Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As an eight-year-old, my daughter Eleanor made a remark that is a reassuring reminder for many challenges we face. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Conflict with a sweetheart or a child can be hard to resolve. In this Revisited episode, we share some of our most useful conversations for using the Four Tendencies to stop the same fights from happening again. Resources & links related to this episode: Take the Four Tendencies Quiz here  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about why proposing an anchor date makes it easier to set plans with friends. We also include answers from Questioners about why they don’t like to answer questions—and how to get them to answer questions. Plus helpful ideas for grappling with grief. Resources & links related to this episode: Listen to the March 7th episode of More Happier  Take the Four Tendencies quiz  Check out these organization tools in The Happiness Project Shop Elizabeth is reading: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: The Lion’s World: A Journey into the Heart of Narnia by Rowan Williams (Amazon)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Listening to Lady Gaga sing the theme song of iconic children’s TV show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” made me pay attention to the song’s familiar words. I get choked up every time I hear them. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We discuss whether we might be expecting too much these days from the workplace, from marriage, from schools, from family. We also talk about the challenge of tackling a big project—and actually getting it done. Resources & links related to this episode: Listen to the Since You Asked podcast here  Listen to my new Audible original, Get It Done: How to Complete Your Dream Project  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about why proposing a toast can boost our happiness and discuss many do’s and don’ts for making a good toast. We also discuss some funny research about the “diversification bias” that might help you choose better snacks, and the common challenge of plugging in necessary accountability. Resources & links related to this episode: Funny TikTok related to the "Four Tendencies" Download my free Getting Specific How-To Guide  Check out the new Bingo Book and Don't Break the Chain Habit Tracker  Elizabeth is reading: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Train Dreams by Denis Johnson (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Queen Elizabeth II encountered some friendly but clueless American tourists, she revealed her prankish sense of humor. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why is it so hard to keep an exercise habit, even when we want to? We discuss what the Four Tendencies reveals about finding the approach that works for you—and the single strategy that almost anyone can use to make exercise stick. Spoiler: it's not motivation. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about the value of self-knowledge and explore some of our favorite online personality quizzes and assessments. We also share listeners’ suggestions for staying warm, and tackle an Upholder’s question about why her Tendency isn’t helping her stop doomscrolling. Resources & links related to this episode: Read about the Four Tendencies personality framework and take the quiz Check out the Know Yourself Better journal collection  Join me on My Color Pilgrimage on Substack  Elizabeth is reading: You Better Believe I’m Going to Talk About It by Lisa Rinna (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcast app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is there anything special about human beings? A long list of characteristics—some obvious, some surprising—sets humans apart from other creatures. (Who knew that having a chin was so unusual?) Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of the Move 26 in ’26 Challenge, we’re sharing a bonus episode designed to pair with your 26 minutes of daily movement. In this episode, I talk with writer Ben Markovits about his acclaimed new novel, “The Rest of Our Lives” (available at bit.ly/4lbfDTq). The novel follows the journey and reflections of a father who is driving his daughter to college—and then keeps going. Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We discuss the fact that when we extend ourselves—when we put ourselves out into the world—we can expect sometimes to feel awkward, remorseful, or frustrated. We also talk about some funny mix-ups that passed unnoticed for years. Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life. Resources & links related to this episode: Find all the tools you need to design your year  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We reflect on No-Spend February—what we didn’t buy, what we did buy, and what we learned. We also share a hack for successfully mixing friendship and business, and talk about how to spot a sneaky social-media practice that can distort our perception of the world. Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life. Resources & links related to this episode: Subscribe to Lemonada Premium here Find my No-Spend Guide here Check out the new Bingo Book and Don't Break the Chain Habit Tracker  Elizabeth is reading: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Seeing my beloved father as a patient in the hospital reminded me of looking at class photos of young children. Among a sea of faces, it’s my love that makes one face stand out from the anonymous crowd. Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life. Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some people have no trouble meeting expectations for others but struggle to follow through on what they want for themselves. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We revisit the Four Tendencies to explore the three biggest challenges Obligers face—shame, exploitation, and rebellion—and what actually helps. Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life. Resources & links related to this episode: To identify your Tendency, take the free quiz at gretchenrubin.com/quiz. Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Struggling to make progress on a habit? This episode offers a different approach—get a 14-day free trial of Activations (plus a big discount) at activations.com/happier. Determination Day, February 28, is a useful time to take stock of your progress (or lack of it) on any change you’re trying to make. In this bonus episode, we talk with Mimi Bouchard, creator of the Activations app, about a practical, science-backed way to adjust your approach when progress feels harder than expected. Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.  Reminder: as an exclusive offer for “Happier” listeners, you can get 2 weeks FREE plus a special discount to the Activations app at activations.com/happier. These guided audios are designed to help you feel motivated, confident, and in charge of your life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In honor of our “Steel” anniversary, we share some of our favorite suggestions, insights, hacks, and highlights from the previous year. Resources & links related to this episode: Listen to my Audible Original Get It Done Very Special Episode 540 on Whimsy  Design Your Summer Simon Haisell's Footnotes and Tangents newsletter Understanding Obliger-Rebellion How to Question a Questioner Solving Rebel Resistance to Something Desirable Electric throw blanket Accountability Hacks Parenting Hacks Our Father’s Obituary - Little Happier  Secrets of Adulthood Talking to Liz Gilbert about All the Way to the River College drop-off hacks The Since You Asked podcast  Very Special Episode "What secrets your therapist wish they could tell you" Happier in Hollywood Substack  Secrets of Adulthood Substack Elizabeth is reading: The All-Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I learned something surprising in law school: To a great extent, we can’t be forced to follow the law; we must decide to follow the law. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many people, money is a source of anxiety and guilt. In this Roundtable conversation, we explore why the subject of money is so challenging, and also the small, realistic changes that can make money management feel easier. Resources & links related to this episode: Mrs. Dow Jones Reema Khrais Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about how we’re using Determination Day (February 28) to reengage with our “26 for ’26” list. We also share listeners’ excellent suggestions for “Move 26 in ’26,” as well as an example of how understanding someone’s Tendency reduces conflict in a marriage. Resources & links related to this episode: Are you a Lark or an Owl?  Strategy of Distinctions Strategy of Pairing Strategy of Accountability 21 Strategies for Habit Change Download the free Determination Day PDF here Lady Gaga singing "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Give yourself permission to lower the bar.  Elizabeth is reading: Unspeakable Things: Silence, Shame, and the Stories We Choose to Believe by Brooke Nevils (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: The School of Night by Karl Ove Knausgaard (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When I called the emergency vet to ask a question about my dog Barnaby, her answer gave me an important insight into the challenge of decision-making. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As part of the Move 26 in ’26 Challenge, we’re sharing a listen-along episode to pair with your 26 minutes of daily movement. Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson discuss the role movement plays in a happier life and share favorite clips from podcasts like IMO and The Second Opinion with Dr. Sharon that explore how movement, discipline, and mental health shape who we become. Great listening for a walk, a workout, or any way you like to move. Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk why it’s valuable to “go for the no” instead of avoiding rejection and failure. Plus we give our suggestions for excellent same-day books and a hack for making email more efficient. Resources & links related to this episode: Get the Winter Bingo card here Subscribe to my "Five Things" newsletters here  The English Understand Wool by Helen DeWitt (Amazon, Bookshop) Foster by Claire Keegan (Amazon, Bookshop) Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark(Amazon, Bookshop) All Systems Red by Martha Wells (Amazon, Bookshop) Heartburn by Nora Ephron (Amazon, Bookshop) Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor (Amazon, Bookshop) Elizabeth and Her German Garden by Elizabeth von Arnim (Amazon, Bookshop) The Summer Book by Tove Jansson (Amazon, Bookshop) Happy All the Time by Laurie Colwin (Amazon, Bookshop) Strangers by Belle Burden (Amazon, Bookshop) Different Seasons by Stephen King (Amazon, Bookshop) A Month in the Country by J. L. Carr (Amazon, Bookshop) Oh, William by Elizabeth Strout (Amazon, Bookshop) The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger (Amazon, Bookshop) Piranesi by Susanna Clark (Amazon, Bookshop) Train Dreams by Denis Johnson (Amazon, Bookshop) A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas (Amazon, Bookshop) A Murder Is Announced by Agatha Christie (Amazon, Bookshop) Elizabeth is reading: Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Random Harvest by James Hilton (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A famous quip illustrates an important point: Small debts burden the borrower; big debts burden the lender. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We talk about the power of reframing—specifically, reframing the meaning of a siren. We also talk about a passage from the novel “Little Women” that illuminates our experience of our father’s death. Resources & links related to this episode: Secrets of Adulthood newsletter on Substack Happier in Hollywood newsletter on Substack  Find tips and hacks for No-Spend February here Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In honor of No-Spend February, we talk about why it’s a good time to turn in your coins and to use up your gift cards. We also talk about the juggler vs. aerialist distinction, and how the Four Tendencies framework can illuminate an experience of family estrangement.  Resources & links related to this episode: Coinstar Wall Street Journal article by therapist Rachel Glik Elizabeth is reading: Strangers by Belle Burden (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is reading: Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The traditional Russian practice of “sitting on suitcases” is an excellent ritual for anyone setting off on a trip. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why is it so hard getting yourself to do what you want to do? This overview of the Four Tendencies explains why motivation works differently for different people and how understanding how you respond to expectations can make follow-through easier.   Resources & links related to this episode: Four Tendencies Framework  Take the Four Tendencies quiz here  Order The Four Tendencies here Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We share our plans for our next “No-Spend February”—our rules, our exceptions, and what we hope to learn.   We also share a more elegant term for “squats” and discuss an interesting self-knowledge question related to the makeshift. Resources & links related to this episode: Join us for No-Spend February Shop the sale in The Happiness Project Shop Listen to Episode 466 here  Listen to Episode 475 here  Elizabeth is reading: Half His Age by Jennette McCurdy (Amazon, Bookshop)  Gretchen is rereading: Gray Divorce: What We Lose and Gain from Mid-Life Splits by Jocelyn Elise Crowley (Amazon, Bookshop)  Get in touch: [email protected] Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.