Good Morning Greendale: A Community Podcast

This week we're doing a mafia movie, but it's all about chicken fingers instead of whatever mafia guys do. Sorry. We didn't see Goodfellas so we have no idea what mafia guys do. Sorry, Greg. The team takes over the schools' supply of chicken fingers and frankly, we get hungry for chicken fingers. Meanwhile, we go on a big rant about pizza. It's a food heavy episode. Also we talk about lots of other stuff but mostly it's chicken fingers and pizza. Ben makes a pizza enemy. Mike's Facebook profile photo is a landscape.

It's April Fool's Day! I mean, actually it's March 31st. Got you! Speaking of pranks, Britta is tired of being a buzzkill so she comes up with a HILARIOUS PRANK. Shirley and Annie become campus security to quell any shenanigans. Pierce is a cookie wizard. That's all you need to know. Meanwhile we're digging further into this cookie wizard thing. We needed to know. We also figure out which of us is the bas-ass who plays by their own rules. And we take a lovely virtual tour of all the places you might visit in Holland. Ben brings Big Leonardgy. Mike can neither confirm nor deny that statement.

We're going to pottery class! Or... sailing... depending on what your blow off class is this semester. Jeff gets upset about a guy in pottery being a ringer and gets caught ghosting. Shirley becomes captain and leaves Pierce to die. Meanwhile we're looking up Colorado geography and complaining about ghosting. We also find some important info about a very important Christmas movie called "A Christmas Kiss" which we should definitely talk about some day. Ben opts to not name his car. Mike wants you to remember the S.S. Nose Candy.

It's Family Day at Greendale and that means everybody has family visiting! All the family gets up to shenanigans like terrible pictionary tournaments and some serious but whuppin'. Also, Jeff tries (and spoiler: succeeds) in sexin' it up with Pierce's former stepdaughter. Meanwhile we talk about... <checks notes> pig anuses and Seinfeldian jokes about the Jacksonville Jaguars. Uh. Yep. Classic us. Also we talk about the hottest Smash Bros. character with surprising results. Ben cashes your check for 25 grand. Mike rescues the princess.

There's shorts. There's balls. People try to set Abed up. These notes are bad because I'm uploading this episode pretty late. Just listen to the episode and you'll know what's up. Ben Brittas being an Abed. Mike makes weekend breakfast.

Britta accidentally drunk-dials Jeff (can you ever really purposefully drunk dial somebody?) and it upsets the balance like a plotline in Who's The Boss. Now Jeff, with the help from Abed, needs to make it even. Also, Pierce and Troy are up to some shenanigans about faking valentines and wearing pantsuits. Meanwhile, we relate some tales about our own drunk moments, the best ice cream flavors, places you can bone done in America (spoiler: anywhere). Ben goes back in time for copyright reasons. Mike doubts Ben's sex advice.

Black lives matter. Period.

Annie starts dating Vaughn (is that his first name or last name? Nobody knows). It creates a whole network of drama. Plus, Pierce wants to make fun of movies with Troy and Abed. Also Chang is there. Why is Chang there? Nobody knows that, either. We're also talking about some of the wildest lies we've heard, the 1984 movie Runaway, the terrible movie Samurai Cop, and shaped bangs? Ben makes some editorial notes. Mike gets excited about internet comedy.

Jeff and Professor Slater go Dean-Form Official and Britta doesn't care (spoiler: she does). Troy and Britta catch each other doing dance classes, but when his manliness is challenged he decides he doesn't care about dancing (spoiler: he does). Everybody thinks Pierce is dead (spoiler: he is NOT). Meanwhile, we're talking about programming languages for some reason, sports rivalries for some reason, Jerry Rice, which actually has something to do with this episode, and more! Ben is a dance elitist. Mike remembers the quadratic equation.

Everybody is back for the spring semester! Plus Buddy. Who is Buddy? Well, he's Jack Black, of course. Turns out the study group doesn't really like Buddy. Meanwhile, Jeff gets a gig as the school's newspaper editor with a cushy office. Annie finds a scoop so big you'll need an army of raisins. As for Ben and Mike? Well, we talk about the stuff we're going to do once we get out of quarantine and what the best restaurants would be to crash a moped into for a flaming death. Ben gets unlimited text messaging. Mike goes to Captain D's.

It's the most important day of the year! That's right, it's December 10th! Shirley imparts her deeply held Christian beliefs that everybody should be tolerant of every other religion and also have deeply held Christian beliefs. Jeff gets into a fight with the school bully (who used to be a NERD), and the group is severely fractured due to a difference of allegiances. Meanwhile, your hosts feed you some delicious facts about the state of Colorado, talk about Spaceballs for a hot minute, look up podcasts for the TV show "The Critic," and tells some stories about a certain fast casual restaurant in a legal way. Ben misses a cameo. Mike craves going to a restaurant.

This is our first explicit episode ever because we talk a LOT about human body parts. And that's because Annie and Dean Pelton are putting on an STD Awareness fair. Also, because Ben really likes talking about certain body parts. Meanwhile, Pierce gets a date with call girl and Jeff gets a date with a vapid 19-year-old. And as for your intrepid hosts? Well, starts a school of lovemaking, we talk about our longest dry spells (spoiler: Mike's is not very long), and we talk about our preferred... college logos to put on condoms? This one gets wild. Ben teaches you about the clitoris. Mike uses his first of three questions.

It's Green Week at Envirodale! We're doing all sorts of green things like... ... ...anyway. Jeff befriends Chang to get out of essay. Troy faces his fear of rats (who are unpopular). Shirley delivers a speech about the Napster of brownies. Ben tells you that your mom went to the store. Mike hopes this doesn't awaken anything in him.

We're sorry for doing an outtakes episode so early into the podcast, but 2020, am I right? What I won't apologize for is comedy. We hope you're all staying safe. See you next week! Ben is full of righteous idgidignbignnation. Mike gets kicked into a sarlacc pit yet again.

Jeff gets suckered into joining the debate team. Britta tries to quit smoking. Abed makes eerily accurate films. That's the episode! Honestly this is going up late so I don't know what else to even say about it at this point. Hopefully you watched it, so you know what happened. Ben gets really interested in Panfira. Mike gets really interested in marble racing.

This one went a little bit long because we are both social distancing and we got a little bit loopy about it. But enough about us! Annie tries to help Troy out on a date with another woman (and she's definitely a woman) as some way to try to get closer to Troy. Spoiler: it doesn't work great. Jeff gets kicked out of his condo and lives with Abed and spoiler: it doesn't work great. Britta and Shirley are the true heroes in this one. Pierce joins a band, too. That happens. Ben is a mediocre avocado. Mike buys too many Honey Buns.

Jeff finally gives up on trying to get with Britta so instead he decides to try to get with his statistics professor instead. There's also a confusing extra credit Halloween party for Dia de los Muertos (which is not Mexican Halloween). The Beastmaster shows up. Talking points for this episode includes sexiest classes, beef with Urban Dictionary dot com, Netflix and chill, Huey Lewis and the News. It is, as always, all over the place. Ben gets in a fight with a website. Mike gets some gazpacho for his date.

The Dean wants to use Jeff to get Troy to play football, to Annie's dismay. Pierce makes a mascot. Britta learns a thing or to about peeing. Abed lays low. We all learn about racism or feminism or... y'know I'm not sure anymore. Meanwhile, we're generating Seinfeld scripts with artificial intelligence and figuring out who Mike's other Community character is. This episode brought to you by Gringlegrob's School for Disembodied Heads. Ben is just trackin' trees and bears. Mike is Steve... dumbass.

What would your school's statue be? What if it was a statue of your school's most famous alumnus? At Greendale, their statue is of none other than Luis Guzman. Abed is maybe an alien. Britta cheats or maybe not cheats but definitely cheats. Leonard isn't wearing any swim trunks. Shirley briefly exists. Ben goes on a Colorado rant. Mike eats some paper with delicious cherry sauce.

Annie gets Troy and Abed to take part in a psychological experiment. Britta gets some guy with tiny nipples to make out with her like some sort of weird baby bird / mama bird situation. Jeff and Shirley become fast friends thanks to the power of gossip. And Pierce? Well, don't worry too much about him. He's in the background being 0.69% Inspector Gadget. As for your hosts? They have become the stuff of legends. Constellations that whose stories will be told through the ages. We also Google... uh... butt stuff. And we obviously talk more about tiny nipples. They're kind of central to the episode. Ben is vaguely aware of what "Hotline Bling" is. Mike describes the tightest of beverages.

Jeff finds the ultimate blow off class and Abed takes a film class. Britta ends up taking a class of her own, which is a class on why you maybe shouldn't be the mother character to your friends. Jeff's blow off class turns into a class about seizing the day. It's all a lot of class. Speaking of class, we find out about about Mike's classes in college and it's a wild ride. Also we find out about Ben's own masterpiece films. Ben makes a political attack ad. Mike gets a B in a class about hanging out.

Do you remember all the way back to last week when a study group was formed for a Spanish class? ENTER THE SPANISH CLASS. We meet two very important characters in the form of Spanish Genius Señor Chang and Starburns. The gang is tasked to make 5 Spanish sentences and some of them also decide to protest the silencing of journalists in Guatemala. Meanwhile, we create our own Spanish sentences about Finding Nemo. We talk about student loans (insert sad frown emoji), scotch, and swapping T-shirts. Ben negotiates for his shirt. Mike thinks about Anakin Skywalker.

We're back! We're talking about the TV show Community, a show that was always in danger of being canceled until it got canceled. What a life. Here in this pilot episode, we meet our intrepid cast of characters. Almost entirely treasures! So far we've got a lawyer and the hot blonde and like five other main characters and several other less important characters! Look, if we listed them all, we'd be here forever. Just listen to the dang thing! Ben is a mailman who makes things up all the time. Mike drops out of high school to impress musicians.

Stay tuned for an all new Community podcast from the guys from Back to the Futurama. If this doesn't get you jazzed up for the show then... that's fair, I guess. It's your standard promo.