COURTNEY COOK, THE BEAUTY, SYDNEY SWEENEY, ANTM TRAILER

THE WORLD IS IN PERIL! Well, at least we have a woman on TikTok to entertain us with her bizarre eating habits. Through the dark times we must always find a bit of light to guide us forward, and for me, that light is a blonde english teacher named Courtney Cook. She eats soup dumplings, she drenches everything in mayo, and she reassures us that we're "not stressin'". After I gab about Courtney, I move on to a more disappointing topic. As suspected, Ryan Murphy's new show The Beauty is a flop. However, it was quite fun to see Bella Hadid drink out of a public toilet! Also, in case you didn't hear, Sydney Sweeney might be in legal trouble for vandalizing the Hollywood sign with bras from her new lingerie line, SYRN. I don't know about you, but I'm about as sick of Sydney's tits as I am of the weak water pressure in my off-price bidet. Lastly, I get into the new trailer that just dropped for the upcoming America's Next Top Model documentary on Netflix. Fingers crossed we get to see the full outrageousness of Tyra's crazy! Listen now <3