Audio is streamed directly from the publisher (api.substack.com) as published in their RSS feed. Play Podcasts does not host this file. Rights-holders can request removal through the copyright & takedown page.
Show Notes
(00:00:45):
Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles?
(00:00:49):
Join mental health coach,
(00:00:50):
inner healing prayer warrior,
(00:00:52):
author,
(00:00:53):
and trauma survivor,
(00:00:54):
Tammy Kennington,
(00:00:55):
on From Hardship to Hope,
(00:00:57):
the podcast for Christian women navigating motherhood,
(00:00:59):
mental health,
(00:01:00):
or matters of faith.
(00:01:02):
If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.
(00:01:08):
Welcome.
(00:01:09):
I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.
(00:01:11):
Today, we're discussing loneliness.
(00:01:14):
within the framework of Scripture.
(00:01:17):
We'll delve into the life of Elijah and consider some takeaways,
(00:01:21):
and at the end of the episode,
(00:01:24):
discuss specific ways to grow through and beyond loneliness.
(00:01:29):
So let's get started.
(00:01:33):
The article read,
(00:01:35):
Lonely old man in his 80s,
(00:01:37):
strong-bodied,
(00:01:38):
can shop,
(00:01:38):
cook,
(00:01:39):
and take care of himself.
(00:01:41):
No chronic illness.
(00:01:43):
I retired from a scientific research institute with a monthly pension of $946 a month.
(00:01:50):
My hope is that a kind-hearted person or family will adopt me,
(00:01:53):
nourish me through old age,
(00:01:55):
and bury my body when I'm dead.
(00:01:58):
This is taken from a 2021 news article written by a man named Han in China.
(00:02:06):
I often wonder about Han.
(00:02:09):
Did someone usher him into their family?
(00:02:12):
Did a Christian community invite him to church?
(00:02:16):
Did they meet his need for friendship, for companionship, for protection?
(00:02:24):
The book Project Unlonely by Dr. Jeremy Noble exposes what he terms the loneliness crisis.
(00:02:31):
And he notes that trauma,
(00:02:33):
aging,
(00:02:34):
illness,
(00:02:34):
and differences all contribute to loneliness,
(00:02:39):
one of the world's gravest social issues.
(00:02:43):
Yet we know from Scripture the story of loneliness is as old as time.
(00:02:48):
In Genesis 2 we read, Soon after Adam was created,
(00:02:54):
that God said it is not good for man to be alone.
(00:02:57):
We were made to commune with God and one another.
(00:03:03):
But after the fall, that need for companionship became altered.
(00:03:11):
Men no longer walked with God in the garden.
(00:03:14):
There was a gap in that relationship.
(00:03:18):
And the relationship between men and women was altered.
(00:03:22):
And we see that all throughout Adam's family with his sons having such struggle
(00:03:30):
that one rose up and killed the other.
(00:03:34):
That discomfort that loneliness brings with it reminds us of the importance of relationship.
(00:03:42):
Many people from Scripture also experience that same struggle,
(00:03:46):
and we can learn a lot from what the Bible records about them.
(00:03:49):
So today we're going to talk about one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament, Elijah.
(00:03:57):
He was a powerful, influential man at the time.
(00:04:00):
He reprimanded King Ahab, who had let all of the northern kingdom of Israel into idolatry.
(00:04:06):
Elijah called fire down from heaven on Mount Carmel, yet he experienced acute loneliness.
(00:04:14):
In 1 Kings,
(00:04:15):
we discover that he was fearing for his life after revealing to Ahab that there
(00:04:20):
would be a famine in the land that would only end at his command.
(00:04:26):
The prophet, led by God, hid by the brook Cherith.
(00:04:32):
And out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of that Hebrew word.
(00:04:37):
I discovered it means community of misfits and off the mainstream.
(00:04:44):
It intrigues me that God sent his faithful follower to a creek that reflected Elijah's light
(00:04:52):
Elijah didn't align with society's values.
(00:04:55):
In fact, he opposed the idolatry of those in the mainstream.
(00:05:00):
And I wonder how many of us feel like we've camped by the brook designated for
(00:05:04):
those swimming upstream.
(00:05:06):
Maybe you feel that way.
(00:05:09):
Maybe your family sees you as the Bible thumper.
(00:05:14):
Maybe you're the only Christian in your family.
(00:05:17):
Maybe you struggle to connect with co-workers because instead of using Jesus as a
(00:05:24):
curse word,
(00:05:25):
it's said in prayer.
(00:05:28):
Maybe you feel abandoned by a loved one.
(00:05:35):
Maybe you are lonely for a prodigal in your life.
(00:05:42):
A well-known author,
(00:05:43):
Lisa Turkhurst,
(00:05:45):
once wrote on Proverbs 31 about attending an event and how she felt so rejected and overlooked.
(00:05:56):
She says,
(00:05:57):
I couldn't wait to be with these people,
(00:05:59):
and I couldn't wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of
(00:06:03):
our time together.
(00:06:04):
Walking into the meeting room, I quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet.
(00:06:10):
Every seat had a name tag attached, so I circled the table looking for mine.
(00:06:15):
As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn't there, my heart sank.
(00:06:20):
Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name.
(00:06:24):
The Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others
(00:06:28):
assigned to my table,
(00:06:29):
I thought.
(00:06:30):
Taking my seat, I pulled out my cell phone and waited nervously for my table mates.
(00:06:35):
I waited and waited and waited.
(00:06:39):
As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway,
(00:06:42):
it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren't
(00:06:47):
able to come for some reason.
(00:06:49):
So I'd be seated alone.
(00:06:52):
Very alone.
(00:06:53):
In my head, I started to have a little pity conversation.
(00:06:57):
Well, self, would you like a roll or ten perhaps?
(00:07:00):
And that's when a very clear sentence popped into my head.
(00:07:04):
You aren't set aside, Lisa.
(00:07:05):
You are set apart.
(00:07:08):
It wasn't audible and it wasn't my own thought.
(00:07:11):
I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder.
(00:07:15):
To be set aside is to be rejected.
(00:07:18):
That's exactly what the enemy wanted me to feel.
(00:07:21):
If he could get me to feel this,
(00:07:23):
then I'd become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever
(00:07:29):
reason God had for me to be at this event.
(00:07:32):
When loneliness sets in, I wonder, are those enemy's arrows finding their mark?
(00:07:42):
Let's deny the enemy the victory over our minds.
(00:07:46):
Scripture actually calls us to be holy, which literally means set apart.
(00:07:53):
We are to be the Elijahs of our day.
(00:07:59):
Elijah's story does not end at the creek side.
(00:08:03):
Instead, the drought that he had announced to King Ahab affected him.
(00:08:09):
The brook dried up and his provision as well.
(00:08:14):
But God had a solution.
(00:08:16):
He sent the prophet four hours away to Phoenicia.
(00:08:23):
There was a widow there, and Elijah met her and said, please give me some bread and some water.
(00:08:29):
And she proceeded to tell him,
(00:08:32):
look,
(00:08:32):
I'm just out here gathering sticks to make a little fire and to use the last of my
(00:08:36):
flour and oil to make a final bit of bread for my son and me,
(00:08:45):
and then we know we'll die.
(00:08:49):
God sent Elijah to an unbelieving woman who called God your God.
(00:08:57):
And in her kindness,
(00:09:02):
she listened to Elijah,
(00:09:04):
made him the bread,
(00:09:06):
and invited the man God loved into her home.
(00:09:12):
And not only did God continue to give them flour and oil to sustain them throughout
(00:09:19):
the entirety of the famine and the drought,
(00:09:24):
but when that woman's son died,
(00:09:27):
Elijah raised him back from the dead,
(00:09:31):
and she recognized God as her own.
(00:09:35):
So God extended mercy not just to Elijah—
(00:09:38):
but also to the woman and her son.
(00:09:42):
It's such a beautiful story of God's mercy and compassion and provision.
(00:09:49):
After three years, the Lord called Elijah back to Israel to confront Ahab.
(00:10:02):
And while he was there, he met the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel.
(00:10:08):
There were 450 of them,
(00:10:12):
all calling out to their God,
(00:10:15):
Baal,
(00:10:16):
all calling out for him to answer their prayers.
(00:10:20):
Meanwhile, Elijah said, whoever has a God that answers, he is the true and living God.
(00:10:28):
When the prophets of Baal finally gave up, they had gashed themselves.
(00:10:34):
They had called out for hours until their voices were hoarse.
(00:10:38):
And Elijah said, pour water on this altar.
(00:10:42):
And he dug a trench and gallons and gallons and gallons of water absolutely
(00:10:48):
drenched the wood on the altar.
(00:10:51):
Elijah called out to God and fire came down and consumed the altar,
(00:10:58):
the wood,
(00:10:59):
the water,
(00:11:00):
and the dust.
(00:11:03):
After that, Elijah had all of those false prophets killed.
(00:11:11):
Upset and angry,
(00:11:13):
Ahab fled home to his wife,
(00:11:15):
who happened to be the most dangerous enemy in the kingdom,
(00:11:22):
Jezebel.
(00:11:24):
And when she heard of Elijah's victory, she put a price on Elijah's head, and he fled in fear.
(00:11:34):
into the wilderness.
(00:11:36):
In his despair, he called out, I have had enough.
(00:11:42):
I wonder if you're in that same place today,
(00:11:45):
if you've been in that place before,
(00:11:48):
if you've been alone in the wilderness or even there now shouting the words,
(00:11:52):
I've had enough.
(00:11:58):
God did not condemn Elijah,
(00:12:02):
despite his skewed perception of circumstances,
(00:12:05):
because truly,
(00:12:06):
loneliness can lead to his skewed perception of our situation.
(00:12:11):
Like Elijah, we might call out, I alone am left.
(00:12:16):
Nobody understands me.
(00:12:18):
Nobody understands my situation.
(00:12:21):
Nobody gets my pain.
(00:12:23):
Nobody understands my grief.
(00:12:25):
Nobody understands what it is to grapple with this illness.
(00:12:29):
There's no one else who gets trauma like this.
(00:12:34):
Elijah was in that place.
(00:12:38):
But Obadiah,
(00:12:40):
a servant over Ahab's household,
(00:12:43):
had hidden and provided for 100 prophets who loved the Lord.
(00:12:47):
Elijah wasn't alone.
(00:12:49):
But he was so consumed by self and situation,
(00:12:52):
he couldn't remove his gaze from the pain to the power of God.
(00:13:02):
One of my favorite psalms, Psalm 121,
(00:13:07):
encourages us to take a different approach it says i lift up my eyes to the hills
(00:13:13):
from whence comes my help my help comes from the lord who made the heavens and the
(00:13:19):
earth when we can remove our eyes from our own pain and look toward heaven and
(00:13:29):
heaven's purpose
(00:13:32):
Our circumstance itself may remain the same, but we can be transformed.
(00:13:38):
Let's take a closer look at God's response to Elijah's loneliness.
(00:13:43):
We've seen how Elijah responded to his loneliness,
(00:13:47):
but let's take a look to see how God responded to him.
When Elijah said, I've had enough, I can't take anymore, God did not condemn him.
(00:14:01):
His scripture reveals that God sent an angel instead to refresh his exhausted follower.
(00:14:08):
He provided him with heaven-sent bread and a jug of fresh water.
(00:14:14):
Afterward,
(00:14:15):
Elijah launched on a 40-day journey until he arrived on Mount Horeb,
(00:14:21):
the same mountain that Moses hiked up to receive the commandments,
(00:14:27):
the same mountain Moses hiked where he saw the burning bush.
(00:14:33):
God heard the prophet's lament,
(00:14:35):
not once,
(00:14:36):
but twice,
(00:14:37):
when Elijah said,
(00:14:38):
I've been very zealous for the Lord,
(00:14:41):
and I alone am left.
(00:14:45):
Maybe you have been zealous for the Lord too.
(00:14:49):
You've done all the right things.
(00:14:51):
I thought that if I did all the right things in my life,
(00:14:55):
if I followed God,
(00:14:57):
if I raised my children in a home with a Christian husband and we directed them
(00:15:02):
toward the face of God,
(00:15:04):
then A plus B would equal C.
(00:15:06):
Things would fall into place.
(00:15:08):
But life isn't like that.
(00:15:10):
We do have an enemy.
(00:15:12):
And the world is fallen.
(00:15:15):
But what I love is that God reveals him in the most unexpected way.
(00:15:21):
And he can do this for Elijah.
(00:15:23):
He can do this for us.
(00:15:27):
1 Kings 19 reads, He came there to a cave and lodged there.
(00:15:41):
And behold, the word of God came to him and he said, What are you doing, Elijah?
(00:15:47):
And he said,
(00:15:47):
I've been very zealous for Yahweh,
(00:15:48):
the God of hosts,
(00:15:50):
for the sons of Israel have forsaken your covenant,
(00:15:53):
pulled down your altars,
(00:15:54):
and killed your prophets with the sword,
(00:15:55):
and I alone am left.
(00:15:58):
So God said, Go forth, stand on the mountain.
(00:16:01):
And behold,
(00:16:02):
Yahweh was passing by,
(00:16:04):
and a great and strong wind was tearing up the mountains and breaking in pieces the
(00:16:08):
rocks before Yahweh.
(00:16:10):
But Yahweh was not in the wind.
(00:16:12):
And after the wind, an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake.
(00:16:17):
Then after the earthquake, a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire.
(00:16:21):
And after the fire, a sound of a thin, gentle whisper.
(00:16:27):
Now that it happened that when Elijah heard it,
(00:16:29):
he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.
(00:16:35):
And behold, a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?
(00:16:40):
God's gentle whisper.
(00:16:44):
Elijah suffered through the famine.
(00:16:47):
He dealt with persecution.
(00:16:48):
He managed isolation.
(00:16:51):
But he also encountered the Lord.
(00:16:54):
God sustained him.
(00:16:57):
He was promised community and he was commissioned for a new thing.
(00:17:05):
To anoint a prophet and a new king.
(00:17:10):
That gentle whisper of God is for us too.
(00:17:14):
We can hear his gentle whisper in the Holy Spirit when we meet with him,
(00:17:18):
when we abide in him,
(00:17:20):
when we climb that spiritual mountain and we say,
(00:17:24):
God,
(00:17:24):
I can't do this on my own,
(00:17:26):
but you can.
(00:17:29):
So just as God met Elijah in his loneliness, he will meet us in ours.
(00:17:39):
We know.
(00:17:40):
That when Elijah was alone, God did something interesting.
(00:17:44):
He at first addressed Elijah's physical needs.
(00:17:47):
He provided nourishment.
(00:17:50):
He provided water and food and rest.
(00:17:55):
And then he offered him comfort and guidance.
(00:17:59):
God is our provider.
(00:18:01):
The Lord's Prayer tells us, Give us this day our daily bread.
(00:18:06):
But He's also the God who is our spiritual river.
(00:18:11):
He will fill us to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
(00:18:14):
And that Holy Spirit is the same one who is our comfort and our guide.
(00:18:21):
He's our advocate.
(00:18:24):
We are not left alone.
(00:18:29):
And now let's explore a little bit more about how God's presence in the stillness
(00:18:33):
and solitude transformed Elijah.
(00:18:39):
From the point at which Elijah met the Lord on Mount Horeb, he gained spiritual strength.
(00:18:47):
He put on that spiritual mantle.
(00:18:52):
And God led him back to Israel where he declared God's power.
(00:18:59):
He anointed a new king and a new prophet who took on Elijah's mantle.
(00:19:06):
He fulfilled his mission.
(00:19:11):
The reality is that loneliness is not uncommon, Christian or not.
(00:19:16):
We all face an internal battle in times of isolation.
(00:19:20):
We can face feelings of unfruitfulness, of unproductivity.
(00:19:25):
Sometimes our thoughts gain the upper hand and lead us to a private wilderness of
(00:19:29):
pain and isolation.
(00:19:34):
How are we to cope when that happens?
(00:19:38):
First, we need to recognize that as God assured Elijah he was not alone,
(00:19:44):
and reminded him of the 7,000 other prophets in Israel who had not bowed to Baal,
(00:19:52):
that there is a modern-day church filled with believers walking through their own
(00:19:57):
and even similar valleys.
(00:20:02):
72% of women say they sometimes feel lonely.
(00:20:05):
They are in our churches.
(00:20:07):
They're sitting next to us or behind us in the church pew.
(00:20:12):
They're in us in our play groups.
(00:20:15):
They're by our side in Bible studies.
(00:20:18):
They're sitting with us on that commute to work.
(00:20:23):
They are in the lounge space.
(00:20:27):
at work,
(00:20:28):
next to us,
(00:20:30):
when we're in the grocery store,
(00:20:33):
wherever it might be,
(00:20:34):
there is another person who feels that loneliness.
(00:20:41):
So we too,
(00:20:42):
as the body of Christ,
(00:20:44):
can minister to those walking through a season that we understand.
(00:20:52):
And in those wilderness times,
(00:20:56):
We know that our solitude is not wasted.
(00:20:59):
For Elijah, it was a time of renewal and clarity, a recommissioning for new work.
(00:21:06):
What is that new thing he might be doing in your life?
(00:21:11):
These moments of loneliness can be opportunities of growth for us.
(00:21:15):
They can be opportunities even for preparation or deeper intimacy with God.
(00:21:20):
In fact, 40 days of fasting and prayer are shown throughout Scripture.
(00:21:28):
Moses was on the mountain for 40 days, fasting and in prayer.
(00:21:33):
Jesus went through the wilderness for 40 days.
(00:21:37):
But after testing,
(00:21:39):
there was,
(00:21:40):
in all of the situations with these men,
(00:21:43):
a great time of mission and purpose.
(00:21:47):
Perhaps God may do the same thing in our lives.
(00:21:52):
What can he teach us through our loneliness?
(00:21:56):
Who is in our circle of influence that might be experiencing that loneliness?
(00:22:00):
And how can we come alongside them?
(00:22:03):
And as mentioned in our last episode, are we filling up on the Holy Spirit?
(00:22:10):
Is our sponge so full with the living water of the Holy Spirit that when life
(00:22:17):
squeezes us,
(00:22:18):
we're pouring out His love,
(00:22:21):
His grace,
(00:22:22):
His mercy?
(00:22:24):
Can we remove our eyes from our own pain to see something greater that God might have for us?
(00:22:34):
If you're looking for a great read or resource,
(00:22:38):
I'd like to recommend The New Loneliness,
(00:22:42):
Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated by Cindy McMenamin.
(00:22:49):
She talks about reconnecting with God,
(00:22:51):
reconnecting with your heart,
(00:22:53):
and reconnecting with others.
(00:22:56):
She addresses suffering,
(00:22:57):
comparison,
(00:22:58):
busyness,
(00:22:59):
mistrust,
(00:23:00):
hashtag me first,
(00:23:03):
screens,
(00:23:04):
and independence,
(00:23:06):
as well as several other topics.
(00:23:08):
There are areas for reflection and intentionality and journaling as well.
(00:23:14):
I can't recommend this resource enough.
(00:23:17):
And if you really love the science side of loneliness,
(00:23:22):
you might want to pick up a copy of Project Unlonely by Jeremy Noble.
(00:23:28):
It is a secular book,
(00:23:31):
but it's filled with wonderful information about projects that have helped people
(00:23:37):
heal from loneliness.
(00:23:39):
And you might even discover some inspiration for how you might impact your community.
(00:23:48):
As we finish up today, I would love to pray for you.
(00:23:54):
Lord, thank you for showing us your compassion, care, and mercy throughout Scripture.
(00:24:00):
Like Elijah,
(00:24:00):
we sometimes grow discouraged in our situations and sometimes feel like we're
(00:24:05):
wandering through a wasteland,
(00:24:06):
bereft of anything to sustain us or anyone to witness our pain.
(00:24:13):
But you, Father, will sustain us.
(00:24:16):
You are a witness to our struggles.
(00:24:19):
And you call us higher to a spiritual mountain, a place of abiding beneath your wings.
(00:24:27):
Help us surrender our circumstances to you, Abba.
(00:24:30):
We give the loneliness of suffering, loss, illness, or difference to you.
(00:24:36):
Give us the eyes of Elijah to help us see you warring on our behalf.
(00:24:41):
Gird us up that we might stand against the lies of the enemy and help us move ahead
(00:24:48):
as we seek to minister to others who are walking through a similar valley.
(00:24:54):
Thank you for your extravagant love and for your faithful presence.
(00:25:00):
In Jesus' precious and powerful name, Amen.
(00:25:31):
Thank you.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tammykennington.substack.com/subscribe