Joyful Living and Navigating Life’s Unexpected Challenges with Nancy Bouwens
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Show Notes
Welcome back to Fierce Calling with your host Doris Swift. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the art of rediscovering joy and the power of intentional living with our inspiring guest, Nancy Bowens, a mindset coach for midlife women. Known for her mission to help women embrace their potential and feel seen, heard, and valued, Nancy joins us to discuss overcoming modern challenges like technology-induced isolation, the importance of community, and finding rest amidst life’s busyness.
Together, we explore how letting go of tightly held plans can open us up to divine possibilities and how faith can ground us in purpose. Nancy shares her journey through life’s unexpected turns, including caring for her mother during challenging time and transitioning into coaching.
We’ll also touch on the struggles many face in midlife—trust, personal growth, and the joy found in pursuing long-hidden dreams. So, settle in as we embark on a journey of finding joy, community, and purpose in the present moment, all while challenging ourselves to grow and trust in the process.
Plus, stay tuned for Nancy’s tips on recognizing and embracing your unique gifts and how to connect with her ongoing work through her website and uplifting weekly emails.
I know what Nancy shares will encourage, inspire, and challenge you, so listen in and share this episode with a friend!
Episode Highlights …
- Rediscovering Joy: Doris introduces her insightful book, Surrender the Joy Stealers Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You, a must-read for anyone seeking to reignite their joy through personal and biblical tales.
- Intentional Connections: Nancy sheds light on the importance of authentic relationships in a digital age filled with superficial connections. Both she and Doris advocate for setting aside devices to truly be present with others.
- Navigating Life’s Challenges: Hear Nancy’s powerful testimony about managing life’s unexpected changes, from battling cancer to caring for her elderly mother, while gleaning wisdom about embracing divine possibilities.
- Mindset Mastery: Learn how Nancy helps her clients, particularly Christian women, differentiate between needs and values to align their lives for optimal function and fulfillment.
- Personal Growth & Trust: Discover the keys to reassessing one’s identity and calling post-midlife and give yourself permission to pursue dormant dreams and aspirations.
Connect with Nancy!
Nancy is a writer, mindset coach for midlife women, and professional silver lining finder armed with curiosity and great coffee. This sunset-chasing, hospitality-loving guru navigates life’s twists with panache! Her superpower?
Inspiring others to embrace their God-given spark living brave, strong and courageous!
Find her at: The Intentional Life – – www.nancybouwens.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nancybouwensintentionallife
IG: https://www.instagram.com/nancy_bouwens
Connect with me: https://www.nancybouwens.com/connect
A year of recommended reading: https://go.nancybouwens.com/reading
The Peaceful Playlist – A collection of music to inspire creativity, unlock joy and help you live just a bit more bravely! https://www.nancybouwens.com/peaceful-playlist
Connect with Doris!
- Connect with Doris at https://dorisswift.com/ For speaking engagements, visit her booking page at womenspeakers.com
Join us for this heartening episode of Fierce Calling and be inspired to deepen your biblical study and walk with God.
What Threatens to Steal Your Joy?
Check out Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You 6-week Bible study rooted in John 15. You can find more info at https://dorisswift.com/book/
Let’s Stay Connected!
Find my free resources including Fear Fighting Bible Verses, Simple Tips for Sharing Your Faith, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling ebook, and more on my dorisswift.com homepage!
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Thanks for Listening!
I hope this episode with Nancy encouraged, inspired, and challenged you to cultivate community, live and walk in the value and worth God gave you, and take action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. You’ll find links in the show notes to connect with Nancy and with me.
If you’re looking for a speaker for your next women’s conference, retreat, luncheon, or workshop, reach out and connect with me on my speaker page at https://www.womenspeakers.com/florida/edgewater/speaker/doris-swift
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Stay tuned for more amazing content and remember to check the show notes for all the links mentioned.
Thank you for being a part of our community. We are grateful for your continued support and encourage you to embrace the unique gifts that make you magnificently you.
I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another woman who is taking action where her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect …
Until then friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
With love and joy,
Doris
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Transcript
Surrender the Joy Stealers Bible Study …
Doris [00:01:45]:
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and his plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job. So many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Doris Swift, author of the award-winning 6-week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever-present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives.
Doris [00:02:36]:
Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others. You can do it on your own or with a group. Check it out, friends. Surrender the joy stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s available on all the online retailers. It’s time to take your joy back.
Timestamps …
00:00 Empowering women to see their worth, value.
08:33 Prioritize presence over technology for meaningful relationships.
10:15 Emphasizing presence over FOMO to strengthen relationships.
15:21 Finding purpose beyond self-doubt through seeking God.
16:41 Questioning faith, belonging, and worth through Christ.
23:25 Mapping life’s journey, reflecting on God’s faithfulness.
25:09 Collaborative brainstorming to create personalized action plans.
28:56 Permission for self-discovery amidst nurturing roles.
32:46 Embrace past mistakes; trust God’s guidance.
36:07 Be open to changes, not rigid plans.
39:11 Use gifts where passion and conviction intersect.
42:39 Embrace your gifts; teach and learn continually.
44:43 Encouragement emails remind people of inclusion.
Now On with the Show …
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and his plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job, so many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Doris Swift, author of the award winning 6 week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives. Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others.
You can do it on your own or with a group. Check it out, friends. Surrender the joy stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s available on all the online retailers. It’s time to take your joy back. Welcome back to the show today. I’m really excited to welcome my friend, Nancy Bowens.
We met quite a few years ago, and she is an amazing woman of God. And I love that she’s a mindset coach for midlife women. She’s a writer. She has a blog. Her heart and her superpower that God has given her is to inspire others to embrace their God given spark. Living brave. I love that. Strong and courageous.
Her website is The intentional life, and I believe that’s also the name of her coaching, business. But she’s gonna share a little bit more about that with us today. Welcome to the show, Nancy. It’s so great to have you on.
Nancy Bowens00:03:52 – 00:03:56
It’s so great to be here. I appreciate the opportunity. I’m excited.
Yeah. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you in person, and we met years ago at the Tribe Writers Conference.
Nancy Bowens00:04:03 – 00:04:03
Yes.
And, we were both in that Tribe Writers, group together because writing has been a calling and and something that God has led us to. And, so we have that in common. And I love that you are a mindset coach for midlife women, which will dive a little bit more into that. But I love how when I’m reading your your bio, it says that you’re a professional silver lining finder armed with curiosity and great coffee. Yes.
Nancy Bowens00:04:31 – 00:04:32
That’s on the coffee.
That’s amazing. Yeah. I got us a great coffee. So I would love if you would share with us a little bit about your story and how you are taking action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, which is the definition of the fierce calling.
Nancy Bowens00:04:50 – 00:05:48
Well, thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate that. You know, one of the things that matters so much to me, and I think it really has for years, but even more so as, you know, the years have ahead of me are now less than the years that are behind me, is that women see their their worth and their value, that they matter, that they’re heard, and that they’re seen, and that they’re welcome. One of the things that, is really important and one of the things that I work on through my coaching and even in my everyday life is making room at the table for someone, making them feel welcome and allowing them to see who they are in God, see who their what their calling is. So it’s interesting that, you know, fierce calling. I want them to know that they that they matter and that they’re seen not by just by God, but by me, and by other people around them. I think that is so important. We live in a world where, we’re we’re a number, we’re just another customer, we’re just another person on the end of the phone.
Nancy Bowens00:05:48 – 00:05:57
And we all long to be more than push 1 for this, push 2 for this, and push 3 if you ever hope to speak to a human ever again in your life. We want to talk
to
Nancy Bowens00:05:57 – 00:06:04
humans, and I think that that that that matters. And, people are longing for that. Women, especially, are longing for that today.
Yeah. That’s beautiful. And I love how you said that it’s important for them to know that God sees them, but also important to know that I see them and other people see them.
Nancy Bowens00:06:14 – 00:06:14
Mhmm.
Because that is true. A lot of times, if we’re talking, you know, about women, but this is true probably for men and women, you know, we can tend to feel invisible and not, not seen. And so it is so important for people to see us and to know, recognize us, know our name. Names are so important. And so I love that your heart is to make people feel known. And when they feel known and seen, it they feel loved. And I think that is so important, and it just it’s a stepping stone into having different faith conversations even, but also, building trust because you have your coaching that you do and, and just relationships in general because we were created for community, and so we long to do that. But you probably find oftentimes that women tend to isolate.
Do you you probably find that a lot, Nancy, right, in your in your, in your work with women?
Nancy Bowens00:07:13 – 00:07:52
We isolate, but, yeah, we have a 1000000 people around us. The the launch of the Internet has given us the ability to know a lot of people, to even maybe be connected to a lot of people, but not necessarily to be known. And I know that I can do that, just as well as the next person. You know, I can have all these what I think of our relationships. And I come to find out it’s like, but I really want someone just to sit with me. I just want someone just to see me. I want them to know, what I’m feeling right now. And it’s easy to go from place to place, whether it’s in person or online, but even more so that we have our life of Zoom now.
Nancy Bowens00:07:54 – 00:08:33
We, we can have those shallow relationships. But yet deep inside, we’re all longing for it. You know, whether you’re in the the checkout line at the grocery store, you’re standing, you know, at the the local target, or whether you’re working with a group online, there’s so many people and so much noise. And I think we’ve forgotten how to be still and how to simply be. Our phone is always with us. And I’m just as much to blame. I have to be so intentional to leave it somewhere, to leave it in my purse when I have coffee with somebody, to not have it on the table when I’m having dinner with my husband. And you don’t think about it’s like, oh, I’m going to quick look that up.
Nancy Bowens00:08:33 – 00:09:25
I’m going to quick check that but you you forget that even the presence of that thing, which I love my phone, don’t get me wrong, I’m not, you know, all shiny and clean here. But it’s like, you know, I use it all the time. But how often should we just leave it? And how often should we not pick up that technology because the person in front of us matters more than that siren song of, oh, this is happening, that’s happening, and you’re gonna miss this. And, it is, but we we can isolate to to circle back to your question. I think we can isolate, but we can cover it up with what appears to be worthwhile activities. And we forget that, we don’t need to always God doesn’t call us always to be busy. He calls us to a time of rest. And sometimes that rest can be stepping away from all of the things we feel like we should be doing.
Nancy Bowens00:09:25 – 00:09:40
Because we can get caught up in that and we can can cover up our, our need for relationship by you know, the word says that, you know, he didn’t design man to be alone, he didn’t design woman to be alone, we were better in community, and 2 are always better than 1.
Yeah. Wow. That is really powerful. And bringing that up, you know, because we can feel a little bit of a conviction about the phone thing, because it can become an idol Mhmm. And it can try to be a substitute for human in person relationships and connections. And, I love how you were saying when you have coffee with a friend, you leave your phone in your purse. When you have dinner with your husband, you don’t leave it on the table. I think it it’s just the world that we’re in right now, we feel like we have to be so very accessible to everyone.
And like you were saying, we don’t wanna miss anything, so that whole FOMO thing, fear of missing out. But I feel like what you are bringing out, which is such a fantastic point, is the ministry of presence. Being present with someone that you’re actually with, you know, because we are so easily distracted, and these distractions are causing breaks. And we might not notice these little cracks in the foundation of our relationships, but it can really cause a lot of cracks in the foundation of our relationships if we’re not, present, if we’re not intent on being there, you know, where we are at the moment with who we are with at the moment. And, so I but thank you for that reminder because it does take intentionality. And when we think about years ago, we didn’t have a phone with us, and everything was fine. So I love how you brought that out. But, also, I love how you brought out the fact that we could isolate with people all around us.
Nancy Bowens00:11:20 – 00:11:21
Mhmm.
Because I think people can really buy into the lie that they’re not isolating, that they’re not, and people might, like you say, they might might not perceive it as that person’s lonely or that person is is isolating because they’re not physically alone, you know, in, the wherever they may be. So I I think that’s a great reminder that isolation doesn’t only mean being by yourself in your house alone. It can mean being in a crowded room with people, but yet feeling like you are not seen or that you don’t belong,
Nancy Bowens00:11:59 – 00:11:59
you know.
And so if you could speak into that a little bit, because I know so many might feel that they don’t belong, and it’s, it can it can be really distracting and keeping, you know, them stuck. Because I know you love to help people get unstuck. So if you could share a little bit about that.
Nancy Bowens00:12:16 – 00:12:55
Absolutely. Just, you know, maybe to kind of frame that, with a little bit of a story, if you don’t mind. Not long ago, I was at a conference earlier this year, And I knew several of the people there, but not a lot of them. And there were there was a room of probably 50, 60 people. And I thought, okay, I can connect with these people. I’m okay. And I’m not feeling needy. I feel like I can I can do this, you know, and and but yet, I had dinner with a crowd of people a table of people’s round table and got to chatting with them? And there was a point when I said, well, I’m just gonna go to my room and, you know, fresh out for the next session.
Nancy Bowens00:12:55 – 00:13:24
Not one person said goodbye. Not one person said, we’ll see you later. And and they probably had nothing to do with anything. They were just busy in their conversations, but I felt like the little 3rd grader at the lunch table that nobody cared if I was there. And I thought, just gonna go to my room and cry. Because I felt, I felt like I didn’t belong. Now, it’s not that they perceived that. That was my little lie of the enemy that was speaking to me at that moment.
Nancy Bowens00:13:24 – 00:13:50
And I really had to process that. It’s like, okay, why am I feeling like this? What is it that that’s causing that? And it it had nothing to do with the people. It had everything to do with my own insecurities and my own struggle. And I had to just go up to the my room and spend some time with the Lord. And and and he’s like, okay. But I’m I’ve brought you here. I’ve called you here. You maybe don’t feel like you belong, but you belong here right now because I’ve brought you here.
Nancy Bowens00:13:50 – 00:14:31
So then I had to go back through and say, okay, now what is it good that you have for me here? What gold nuggets am I here for? And I had to do the work, but I had to to not rely on somebody else to make me feel like I belonged. I had to do the work myself. But how often do we see someone sitting by themselves or they’re new? You know, I talked to my granddaughter who’s starting school this week, and I said, no. Look for the little kids who don’t have anybody sitting with them at lunch. Look for the little girl on the bus who doesn’t have anyone who sits with her. Offer to let her sit with you. You know, we want we all doesn’t matter how old we are. We all want to feel like we belong and that we matter.
Nancy Bowens00:14:31 – 00:15:00
And I think as women of God, we have the ability to do that. That’s a gift. You you spoke a little bit ago about presence. And I have a little phrase that I often will share with my clients and and even with my friends as we we talk about, you know, the everyday things of life is, like, I wanna be where I am. I wanna be where my feet are. I wanna be there all there all in. I don’t want the distractions to pull me away, but how easy that is for that to happen.
Yeah. Wow. I love how you said I wanna be where my feet are. Mhmm. I mean, how plain is that? I mean, that is a great thing to think about. You just wanna be present right there, present. And, yeah, I think that story oh, so many can relate to that story. You know, me included.
Because when you go sometimes, whether you’re at a conference, maybe it’s a work conference, maybe it’s just, you know, a meeting or a gathering, and people start talking and we fall into that comparison trap too, oftentimes of, wow, this person has done all of this stuff. You know, who am I to think I belong here? But when you said you went to your room and you sought the Lord about it, and I think that is part of how you help people with mindset shifts and kind of looking at what is really going on here and changing it to be, like, you know, I know for me personally, it does help when I feel like, wait a second, I’m making this all about me. And yeah, it is partially about me because God’s brought me here for a reason, but it’s not all about me. So like you said, when you left the table, the other people, unintentionally probably, you know, didn’t mean that at all. But we take those things personally, and, we we allow that to sink in. And and like you said, the enemy will will tell us these lies that, you know, we don’t belong, we don’t measure up. Ultimately, what he wants us to believe is that God lies. You know, that that what God says is not true.
And so that’s what he he tries to do from the very beginning with Eve. He wants us to question god. Like, did he really say that? Does he really love you? Does he believe you know, all these different things. So I appreciate you sharing that because we can definitely relate to those situations, you know, and feeling like we’re we don’t belong, you know, and trying to the whole thing about trying to feel good enough and the fact being that, you know, we’re we’re never good enough. You know, we’re only we’re only, you know, enough through Christ. That’s the only way that we, that we’re good enough, because we don’t have to strive and earn anything. But, you know, of course, we have to do the work. He has us at different places like he had you at the conference, so that you can study and show thyself approved, you know, and just, like, learn about the craft that he’s called you to walk in.
So yeah. So, you enjoyed the time at the conference. So that was kind of like a a mind shift, a perspective shift. So how other how are other ways that you help your your clients in doing that?
Nancy Bowens00:17:50 – 00:18:29
One of the things that I work with my clients is we work on needs and values. Because if you have there’s there’s such a difference between what I need as a person and what matters to me and what’s valuable. And if you can get a grasp on what you need, like, I need order in my life. Okay, I need things to be orderly. So when things are not when they’re out of order, when I feel like things are askew, whether physically or mentally or emotionally, I don’t function as well. And so I know that that’s a need for me. So I I can be purposeful about how I change, how I live my life so that things are in order. Okay? Now I’m not talking perfectionism, although there’s that sometimes too.
Nancy Bowens00:18:29 – 00:19:02
But it’s it’s just I I need things to be orderly. But what I value is I value relationships. Okay? So, I mean, there may be 4 or 5 things that are valuable to you, that matter to you, that are pretty much nonnegotiables that you have that you know that this is who I am. This is what I stand for. This is who I want to be all the days of my life. But if I am out of alignment in a relationship, for instance, then I have angst and I have frustration and I might have fear. I don’t feel secure. I don’t feel, confident.
Nancy Bowens00:19:02 – 00:19:38
So you can see how these different things, they play on each other. So one of the things I work with a lot of my clients is, let’s work on what it what is what do you need? What are what’s important to you? What do you value? As Christian women, so often, I come up against women who are like, well, I don’t need anything. I have everything in Jesus. Well, amen to that. Yes. But he created you to need things too because that’s how he’s designed you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And so there’s that whole mindset shift of I can need something, and that doesn’t make me a needy person. Just because I need things doesn’t make me needy.
Nancy Bowens00:19:38 – 00:19:39
It makes me real.
Wow. That is pretty profound. Just because I need things, it doesn’t make me needy. Mhmm. And I love how you respond to someone that says, well, I have all I need, you know, in Christ, which, yes, he he definitely that is a true statement, but, and he provides for all of our needs. But he he also, like, you know, in his word, he tells us that when we ask for wisdom, we receive it, you know, liberally. Like, when we ask so we have to ask, you know, we have to we have to, like, acknowledge the need and then request make make our request known to God as the word says. So I love that you steer your clients in that direction of the difference between that and also what they value.
So that that is really precious. If I could say Yeah. What they value is precious. Yes.
Nancy Bowens00:20:36 – 00:21:13
Well, and I find so many women, they they struggle with that, struggle with being able to say, this is something that I need. And when, you know, as a young mom, new married years ago, many, many, many years ago, I, I felt like God would fit in. I mean, I don’t think I ever verbalize this, but it felt like God should fit in this night nice, neat little box. Well, then life happens and you realize that God does not fit in that nice, neat little box, and he never intended to fit in a nice, neat little box. Now he has boundaries. He has guidelines. He has things that will never ever change. His his word is true.
Nancy Bowens00:21:13 – 00:21:51
He’s faithful. He will never leave us, never forsake us. All of those things are absolutely true, but it doesn’t mean that it’s always he’s not gonna fit in the box that I make for him. And one of the things that I love to work with women on is helping them see that it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to wonder. It’s even okay to be angry sometimes with God because he his shoulders are big enough, my friend. They’re big enough to hear all your questions, all of the things you wonder about, and all of the things that aren’t making sense to you or the the dreams that you had that didn’t come true, his shoulders are big enough, and he says, come bring it all to me. I got you.
Nancy Bowens00:21:51 – 00:21:52
I got you.
Wow. That is really comforting too and such wise advice. You know, wisdom right from straight from the Lord, you know, to help people to see, like as you said, I love how you described it as thinking about God as being in this box. So we we kind of limit God to our own human limitations, and that’s not who God is at all. And I know oftentimes people can get very discouraged, and I and I think that is great that you encourage people, even even if they’re angry, to express that to god and to share that with him. I mean, he knows, but he wants to hear. He wants that relationship to deepen. And as as we draw nearer, even in those kind of situations, we actually are growing spiritually because we are having a conversation with God.
We’re talking with him. We’re connecting with him. And oftentimes, these things come, they stem, like, from, what we feel are unanswered prayer, right, or what we feel like you were saying. If we have a dream and it doesn’t quite come true, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen, or it could mean it will happen, but not in the way we would expect because it might happen in a different way. Or if we had gone this direction, we would have missed this. So, so do you what kind of, like, homework or exercises do you have your coaching clients do to to do the mindset for where they’re walking right now, the season that they’re in. Mhmm.
Nancy Bowens00:23:25 – 00:24:17
One of the tools that I use is it’s, it’s like a life map that we work through, and we work through the different seasons, the different decades. You know, it’s kinda like looking back, you know, looking where God has brought you, looking at where you are now, looking at where you’re hoping your life will go or what your dreams are. And and but before you know where you’re going, you have to kinda look back and see where you’ve been. And to see it’s like the the story of, you know, David. He he he was he came with his 5 stones, and he threw them at Goliath, who threw one at Goliath, and he fell. But that wasn’t the first time he trusted God. He trusted God, you know, with the lion and the bear and when he took care of the sheep, and he knew God’s faithfulness, all of the many, many years before that. And so he knew that God would be faithful.
Nancy Bowens00:24:17 – 00:25:08
And he knew as he became king, he knew even through the hard things with Saul that God was gonna be faithful, not because he was just faithful in that moment, but because he was faithful all of those years before. And when we as women began to to look back and acknowledge and really take a moment to see and and really savor those times that God has been with us, it strengthens our faith and it enables us to move forward and to really lean into, okay, God. I don’t see my next step. I feel like I’m walking in the dark. I have no idea what’s next, and I feel like I’ve missed you. I’ve got a 1,001 questions, but you were faithful here. And you’re I can choose to believe that you’re gonna be faithful again, even if it doesn’t look how I think it’s going to look. Even if there feels like there’s disappointments.
Nancy Bowens00:25:09 – 00:25:54
So we do the life maps. We do brainstorming together. You know, we’ll just say, okay. Start throwing out some ideas or throwing out some words. We’ll do, like, a mind map where, you know, I’ll have a big whiteboard, and we’ll say, okay. Let’s just start talking about where what is it the project you wanna work on? What is it that you’re thinking of? What stands in the way? Where do we have to go? So we just we do a lot of brainstorming together and start creating plans. It’s like, okay, what’s an area that you really want to work on? What’s the thing that’s in front of you? What’s the struggle? What’s keeping you? How can how can we put something into place? What would help you move forward or even just take a baby step? It isn’t you know, Rome wasn’t built in today, and these changes don’t happen overnight. So, it’s a, you know, it’s a working together, but it’s their plan.
Nancy Bowens00:25:55 – 00:25:57
It’s not my plan. I’m just there cheering them on.
Yeah. That is a great way like, tools that you give them, resources, a