Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner

You made the plan. You ran the numbers. You did everything right. So why does it feel like you're one unexpected expense away from starting over? This week, I am focusing on what happens when the plan stops working, and why that might not be the disaster you think it is. I share a story about a family whose perfect five-year projection fell apart after an unexpected health diagnosis, and what they discovered in the rebuilding. I also cover my own experience navigating career changes and raising triplets +1 when plans rarely survive contact with reality. Your action step: Look at your current financial plan and ask yourself what happens when it breaks. What would you protect? What would you let go? That awareness is the beginning of real resilience. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Wealth Planning is For Everyone Funded Contentment: Am I Going To Be Okay The Longest Relationship You Will Ever Have

What happens when the opportunities we give our kids become the pressure we put on ourselves? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, our resident therapist expert, is back with us to dig into the gap between what we want for our families and what our families actually want. It started with a cruise my triplets didn't enjoy, a conversation with another dad at a basketball game, and an NHL hockey player from our local high school who was the star goalie in the recent winter Olympics. Our conversation focuses on the instinct to provide our kids with opportunities we never had, and how that instinct can quietly turn into pressure on everyone, especially parents. Dr. Jen shares her own stories of loosening the reins on family adventures and learning to ask rather than guess what her kids want. We explore why teenagers pulling away is developmentally normal, why honest answers from our kids are an act of trust, and how reframing our goal from raising teenagers to raising adults changes everything. If you've ever spent money on a vacation and wondered why no one seemed grateful, or felt the weight of the countdown to when your kids leave home, this one's for you. Try asking your kids one question this week: "What would feel really good to you?" And then actually listen. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: You Can Always Make More Money Why Families Should Stop Waiting for the "Perfect" Time to Travel Why Your Goals Keep Failing

What happens when you're doing everything right on paper but still feel one car repair away from a financial meltdown? Or when you're fully present with your kids today but have no idea how you'll pay for college in five years? Most families I work with fall into one of these two camps, and both are fragile in different ways. This week, I'm exploring Morgan Housel's idea that the best way to deal with uncertainty is to save like a pessimist and invest like an optimist. I share stories of two families on opposite ends of this spectrum, why holding both mindsets at once feels so uncomfortable, and what I've learned about building margin without hiding from life. Your action step: Look at your actual situation this week. Do you have real cash reserves sitting accessible? Are you consistently investing for the future? If one piece is missing, that's where your fragility lives. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Why "Just Waiting" Is Holding You Back in Life and Finance Finding The Meaningful Moments in Career, Parenting & Life Helping Your Kids Develop Good Money Habits

I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore the challenge of defining your goals and finding what "enough" really means, even as the goalposts keep moving. If you've ever wondered why having more money doesn't quite silence your worries or how your money beliefs shape your life, you're not alone. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Your Money: Reimagining Wealth in 101 Simple Sketches Running Towards the Challenge of Why and Enough 5 Timeless Financial Truths That Will Never Change

You're earning more than ever, but do you actually control your time? Most families discover that financial success came at a cost they didn't expect to pay. In this episode, I explore the real dividend money provides: not fancy stuff, but time autonomy. I share the pattern I see in families who've achieved financial success but lost control of their schedules, and why the finish line with kids at home comes faster than you think. This week's challenge: Name three things you did for money that cost you time. Then ask if the trade was worth it. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Scaling Yourself Learning How to Use Time as a Resource An Emotional Balance Sheet Can Guide Hard-to-Quantify Financial Choices

Ever feel stuck between wanting to start something new and actually making it happen? Whether it's launching a business, updating a resume, or initiating a difficult conversation, something often gets in the way—and it's not always what we think. We often label our hesitation as "roadblocks," but more often than not, those roadblocks are actually places we hide from fear—fear of the unknown, failure, or disappointment. Roadblocks are often external barriers we point to, such as busy schedules or endless tasks, which usually cover our inner fears. What's the thing you've been thinking about—and what's stopping you from moving forward? Let's start calling things what they are and make progress toward what matters to us. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: How to Use Emotions as Information Fear of the Unknown 3 Reasons Why We Worry About the Wrong Things

Have you ever wondered why two families with nearly identical financial situations can end up in completely different places? It's not because the math was wrong, but because of how they responded when it mattered. Today, I am digging into why financial success has less to do with what we know and more to do with what we actually do when we're staring down competing priorities. I walk through two real client situations in which both families had solid plans but were facing trade-offs among mortgage payoff, 529 contributions, retirement investing, and home upgrades. Same numbers, different behavior. One family saw flexibility as freedom, the other saw debt elimination as emotional relief. I also explore how our sense of security, fear of missing out, and guilt about not doing enough for our kids quietly drive the financial decisions we think are purely logical, and why Morgan Housel's idea that optimism is about perseverance, not perfection, applies to how we parent and plan. Your action step this week: pick one financial behavior that tends to trip you up and simply notice it. Don't judge it. Just observe because you can't improve what you can't see. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Rethinking the Relationship Between Money and Happiness Inflated Expectations: The Hidden Force Undermining Financial Peace Money is a Number, Emotions are Stories

How do you put a value on memorable experiences? After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar. With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation to worry about what's next, which can easily cause precious moments to slip by. To help with this chaos, I talk about a meaningful tool I use in my financial planning practice that really puts into perspective just how many summers we have left with our kids. For me, it's not about planning big, lavish vacations, but about making our time intentional, whether it's a dream trip, a simple backyard hangout, or a concert I've waited years to see. Unlike money, once a moment is gone, it can't be replenished. The number of summers left with loved ones is finite, and being aware of this helps us prioritize what matters. I hope by the end of this dialogue, you can ask yourself, what's one simple way you're being intentional with your time this week? Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Bucket List Items Don't Need To Be Big Samantha Russell LinkedIn Post Time is the Ultimate Planning Killer

Why does it feel like everyone else can afford the vacation you can't? You make good money. You're doing everything right. But your Instagram feed is full of beach photos while you're staring at a windchill warning and wondering what you're missing. In this episode, I talk about the trap of comparing your entire financial situation to someone else's highlight reel. I share a recent conversation with a family who was crushing their financial goals but felt like failures because they couldn't keep up with their friends' travel schedule. And I explore why the real question isn't "how can they afford that?" but rather "what game am I actually trying to win?" This week: Take five minutes and name your game. Write down what you're actually trying to accomplish with your money so you can stop checking the scoreboard of a game you're not even playing. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Running Towards the Challenge of Why and Enough Uncovering Core Values for Financial Clarity and Emotional Balance

Why do most resolutions fail by mid-January? Maybe because we're starting in the wrong place. Before we can sustain any meaningful change, we need to know why we're doing it in the first place. Dr. Jennifer Dragonette and I dig into the difference between purpose and objectives, and why confusing the two can leave you feeling empty even when you hit your goals. We talk through George Kinder's three questions, a powerful framework that uses time horizons to cut through the noise and reveal what actually matters. We also explore the unusual eulogy exercise, the permission trap that keeps people stuck even when they have the means to act, and why retirement may be one of the most underrated transitions you'll ever face. This week, try writing your own eulogy or obituary. Not to be morbid, but to get clear on what you want people to say about how you lived. That clarity can become the foundation for every objective you set. Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Jennifer Dragonnette. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Squeezing All The Juice Out Of Retirement How to Use Emotions as Information Are You Rich Yet? Why Families Still Struggle to Feel Wealthy

Today's economy doesn't just create wealth. It creates the ability to show off wealth, and that visibility inflates expectations so quickly that even high-achieving parents often feel behind, overwhelmed, or financially stretched. Today, I break down why expectations rise faster than real progress, how that impacts family decisions, and why the small behaviors you repeat consistently are far more important than dramatic financial moves. If you've ever felt like your life looks "successful" on paper but still feels stretched or pressured in real time, you'll want to hear this episode. Connect with Paul If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn. Resources Featured in This Episode: Getting the Goalpost to Stop Moving Uncovering Core Values for Financial Clarity and Emotional Balance You Can Do Most Things, But Not All: A Realistic Approach to Family Goals and Money

I came across a Wall Street Journal article about families making over $250,000, putting them in the top 10% of all household incomes in the country, who still don't feel wealthy. One family earning $350,000 (in the top 4%) owns two homes, has three kids in club sports, and can't shake the feeling that they're struggling. In this episode, I explore why modern life makes it so hard to feel like you have enough. How our standards of living have improved dramatically, but we've just created different problems. Why kids' activities drain families more than almost anything else. And how the real challenge, as Morgan Housel says, is getting the goalpost to stop moving. This week: Look back at where you started instead of comparing yourself to some moving horizon ahead. Check your household income against national percentiles. You might be surprised how far you've come. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at [email protected] with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: They're in the Top 10% of Earners. They Still Don't Feel Rich. Are You Living a Life Less Ordinary? The Gap and the Gain – Navigating Purpose

When was the last time you said yes to something small that mattered? Last year I checked something off my bucket list. Not a grand adventure or expensive trip, just a concert I'd been wanting to see for 30 years. The Barenaked Ladies finally made it happen, and what surprised me was how much emotion came with something so small. In this episode, I talk about why we wait for the big moments while ordinary experiences slip past us. Why music can take you back to exactly who you were. And why little adventures with the people you love might matter more than the trip you keep postponing. This week: Put one small thing on your bucket list. Something you could do this month, not someday. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at [email protected] with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: Barenaked Ladies Wealth Planning is For Everyone Aligning Personal Interests with Financial Objectives: A Five-Step Guide to Effective Wealth Planning

What if not all success is earned and not all struggle is deserved? This week's episode digs into something we don't talk about enough: the role of luck, circumstance, and timing in how our lives turn out. When you're managing money, kids, and everything else, it's easy to believe you earned every good thing and failed at every hard thing. But that's not the whole story. I share a few stories from my generational Family Office practice, working with families across different starting lines, and reflect on what advantages compound across generations and what that means for how we judge ourselves, others, and what we teach our kids about success. This week, identify three things that went right in your life that weren't just about hard work. Not to diminish your effort, but to recognize the full picture of how you got here. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at [email protected] with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: Reflections of a Layoff While Raising Triplet Girls Funded Contentment: Am I Going to Be Okay? Experiencing Career & Life Transitions from Multiple Angles

I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore the challenge of defining your goals and finding what "enough" really means, even as the goalposts keep moving. If you've ever wondered why having more money doesn't quite silence your worries or how your money beliefs shape your life, you're not alone. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at [email protected] with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: Just Wait: Fuel for Financial and Emotional Anxiety Understanding and Managing Anxiety: Practical Steps for a Balanced Life Building Healthy Habits: Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Through Tiny Changes

Are you keeping score in your relationships with your spouse, kids, or friends? I welcome back our resident therapist expert, Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, for an eye-opening conversation about the ways our perspectives can shape every aspect of our relationships—at home and beyond. Dr. Jen introduces us to the idea of "positive vs. negative sentiment override." It's all about how we subconsciously gather evidence to support the story we're telling ourselves about our partner, our kids, or even our coworkers, and how that can tip our emotional balance, for better or worse. We dig in and make some interesting connections to my world of financial planning, comparing these emotional patterns to the affirmation bias investors often face. There are many parallels between managing money and managing emotions, particularly in breaking old habits, letting go of scorekeeping, and learning to see the positive in the people we care about. If you're a parent struggling with expectations, a partner trying to reconnect, or just someone looking for more balance, I think you'll find this episode both relatable and practical. Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Jennifer Dragonette. Connect with Paul Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here. For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast. Follow Paul on LinkedIn and YouTube. And feel free to email Paul at [email protected] with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics. Resources Featured in This Episode: Building Bridges in Relationships: The Impact of 'Yes And' on Understanding Breaking the Habit of "Make Sure-ing": How Letting Go Builds Trust and Confidence Learning How to Use Time as a Resource