
Elis James and John Robins
588 episodes — Page 7 of 12
#285 - Elis and John Live from Edinburgh
EElis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descended on Scotland's premier planetarium / part-time comedy venue / largest interactive visitor attraction, and a show of Knebworth level proportions ensued.For these versatile entertainers the smell of the crowd, the taste of the laughter, and the lack of a live live broadcast brought out 20% more playfulness than when shackled away in a studio; lucky for you listening on the podcast.Comics Ania Magliano and David O'Doherty grace us with their wit, the team make real hard work of a Made Up Game and John redefines stand-up.
#284 - Maximum Mystery, Trainecdotes and Internal Risk Assessments
With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be opened without someone there to act as the ying to his yang, someone walked into the studio not just full of pep… but be-ploughmanned. Who would be so daring as to eat such a meal whilst broadcasting to the nation? Well, obviously there’s only one answer to that question: it was this week's guest co-presenter and all round legend Ivo Graham!With John and Ivo presenting live and direct from the Scottish capital you just knew there was going to be a whole host of fun on today’s show. Janine Harouni joined the guys to chat about her Fringe experience so far and submit a law into Petty Parliament, Producer Dave tried to SILENCE the news, Ivo attempted to fill in for Elis on DI Robbyns and John realised that he might not love pickled eggs as much as he once thought.
#283 - Minor Key Comedy, Same Old Larkin and Frank Skinner
The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, is the gas giant that is John Robins. Although he’s performing two shows per day whilst up in Scotland he’s still committed to providing the nation with much needed radio. Elis and Producer Dave? Well, they’re holding the fort in London, thus showing that Radio 5 Live truly is the voice of the nation.But it’s not just John who was in our studio north of the border. The legend that is Frank Skinner dropped by to talk about his new show, as well as enacting a law into Petty Parliament. Plus, there's a Made Up Game resembling a comedian’s fever dream, Tony Livesey reveals his bizarre showering routine, and the Brandy Lady makes another appearance.
#282 - Oldroyd Sorbet, #Biceps and A Macchichatiato
As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live’s world beating sports coverage, Elis and John proved something else: “distance makes the arms grow beefier”. Yes, 21 days off the radio has given Johnny JR plenty of time to continue his journey to becoming the world's buffest man, and the guys returned to the studio ready to crush any topic put in front of them (though to be honest, given how pumped he looks John was definitely leading the charge).There was a Made Up Game that focused on Elis’s often negative mentality to competition, John hounded his co-presenter about something he’d recently had bestowed upon him, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City takes a hit in Petty Parliament, and the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded wass sent into the show… You knows it.
#281 - It’s A Blunderful Life (Bonus #Content)
With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey goosey’ for one final week with this bonus podcast.Elis blows our minds with a blunder revelation that leaves everyone reeling, John comes close to admitting there may be such a thing as too much golf, and Producer Dave enters a Peter Beagrie (Man City, 94-97) reverie whilst painting his garage.
#280 - Suit, Shoes and Swimming Trunks (Bonus #Content)
There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could continue to follow the historic Wimbledon tennis tournament uninterrupted; and given they were provided with the world's vaguest running order, who knew which direction the conversation was going to meander. Thankfully for you, listener, it wended its way right into your hearts and minds (and also your podcast feeds).A listener sends in a banging remix of everyone's favourite theme tune, John loses his calm about the prospect of calming himself down, Elis shares his recent 'Double Blur' experience, and Producer Dave provides the guys with some more listener Qs that need an A.
#279 - CCC: Customer Condiment Control (Bonus #Content)
ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKEDBBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Check. Golf? You bet! Pétanque? Give it time. So when Elis and John were informed that they weren't going to be on air for a few weeks to make way for more classic world-beating sporting coverage it came as no surprise, and thankfully plans had already been put in place to make sure that you the you the listener weren't left short on your weekly quota of chat.In this free-flow podcast the guys share an exciting announcement, there's more ploughman's correspondence, Dave hosts a listener-driven Q&A, and there's a discussion around the sports most suitable for radio.
#278 - Stage Time Stresses, Dignity Biscuits and A Barrel of Eggs
Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beating sports coverage. With their holidays just around the corner (don’t worry, there’ll still be weekly bonus podcasts for you all to enjoy) an air of giddy excitement descended on the studio, with Producer Dave pulling out all the stops to try and tame radio’s most unproducable duo.There was a Made Up Game for the biscuit purists amongst you, a Petty Parliament suggestion that was met with unanimous agreement, there was ANOTHER twist in 'DI Robbyns', and the guys put poor Nick Wallis through his paces during his first ever appearance on the show (sorry Mrs Wallis).
#277 - Glastonbury Gripes, Fiscal Vasectomies and Perfect Ploughmi
Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City won the Champions League for the first time, completing a historic treble. But today, the biggest of dreams was realised… That’s right: everyone’s favourite support cigarette - Fagsy - was brought to life, and the feeling of love in the studio was palpable.Elsewhere, there’s a Made Up Game all about Glastonburys gone by, a Petty Parliament caller dials in with a Glastonbury practice that he wants outlawed, Elis reminisces about a time he went to Glastonbury, and John has some rather interesting thoughts on the world-beating Glastonbury coverage being provided by the BBC across the Glastonbury festival.
#276 - King Vinegar, Precinct Penchants and the Magic of Chiles
The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wish, with Carmarthen, Bristol and ‘the north’ being the respective locations of Elis, John and Producer Dave, as the BBC’s world-beating broadcasting infrastructure was pushed to its very limits, all in the name of cross country content.Ethernets, modems, ISDN lines and the internet (general) all played their part as features old and new were rolled out. Episode 2 of new audio drama DI Robbyns once again left listeners on the edge of their seats, the lightboards switched up as our fleet-footed hosts juggled a plethora of text topics, plus the dulcet tones of Adrian Chiles made for an unforgettable Made Up Game.Enjoy!
#275 - Bumbag Bravado, Remunerationships and Adam From Bungay
New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never change their loveable ways! However, change was certainly afoot content wise, as the guys launched a brand spanking new feature which ticks all of Producer Dave’s boxes (except maybe getting people ready for the weekend). Yes, you’re about to hear the very first episode of DI Robbyns - and no, this isn’t a Radio 4 podcast.Elsewhere, John comes up with about thirty different text topics, Elis shares his love for the inimitable Mr Urdd, Producer Dave brags about a recent purchase and a listener shares their musical talents LIVE on air.
#274 - Date City Central, Forty Slinks and Reece With A Spoon
‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful Lou Sanders was sitting in for Elis whilst he treated himself to a luxury spa break in Montenegro. Then, the excitement grew even more as John entered the studio looking more buff than ever before. And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t grow any more, Producer Dave announced he was off to relive his early 20s by going to see the Arctic Monkeys. And with that, the holy trinity of excitement was sorted, perfectly placed to surf the radio waves.There’s a real treat in store for you today, featuring the following audible accoutrements: a listener talking about the time they were outwitted by a pigeon, John channelling his inner local radio presenter, Lou absolutely destroying her co-presenter in a scripted intro, and Producer Dave trying his best to stay balanced in a Made Up Game.
#273 - Kwik Save Clothes, Tallinn Jokes and Big Bisc
It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir Elis James was presenting from atop a felt-lined throne, whilst the peasants that are John and Producer Dave were forced to sit on upturned wooden buckets, never once making eye contact with his highness. And as an offering to the people, Sir James presented a venerable feast of content… the broadest content in the land!John shares a teary Turkish restaurant tale, the guys come up with their own range of soft toys, someone mistakes James Bond for Ed Miliband and Elis gives us an insight into his favourite darts chants.
#272 - Noodle Season, Taunton Pastrami and Foyer Residencies
What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready for the weekend? That’s right, you get the Elis James and John Robins show on BBC 5 Live. And whilst Elis never did get a chance to show off his chopping skills, he did get a chance to slice through some freshly picked correspondence about what weird advice listeners have been given (which was much more interesting than the onion-based fun we had planned).There was a rather controversial Made Up Game, we heard a toilet tale that stoked the embers of shame, the age-old question “How do you get a wolf to trust you?” is answered, and a listener shared their grievances with how people say “Goodbye… bye… bye… bye”.
#271 - Fragrant Disregard, Druids In Need and The Man of Steele
Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, and it's catching the scent of a handsome man eating eggs Benedict on a quiet Friday morning. But unlike radio, you can't Shazam a fragrance, so instead Dave decided to put his Northern charm to good use and find out exactly why this man's aroma was so wonderful. It turns out the cost of smelling good is £200, so it's safe to say that Dave is sticking to his good old can of Lynx.Away from all the 'smelltalk', ahead of a big goalkeeping performance John was given some tips from a former professional shot-stopper, there was some real snackable content in a Made Up Game, we heard the story of an old tin of meat, and Elis provided us with one of the greatest anecdotes of all time.Oh, and for the triangulation fans amongst you, the the centre point for today's broadcast was just west of Stratford on the A46. Strap in!
#270 - Toddler Tatts, Centenary Sprinters and Own Brand Stout
With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets parties, Union Jack body paint and temporary Royal tattoos all extolled when discussing weekend plans.And yet even with the chaps’ eager anticipation reaching fever pitch, it’s incredible to think they were still able to compose themselves for a top tier parliamentary Made Up Game, a fascinating ‘this is your life’ chat with fellow 5 Liver Tony Livesey, and an incredibly detailed discussion about aftershave.
#269 - Bonus Mobility, Long Awaited Wazzes and Aggers On Dressage
‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjective that’s reserved for one broadcaster and one broadcaster only. That’s right: John Robins. He doesn’t just say what he thinks people want to hear, he says what he thinks others need to hear; and nobody (especially Producer Dave) can stop him. So if you want your weekly fix of bravery, you’re in the right place.John is handed the baton of improvisation, we hear some wonderful retirement dreams, Elis questions some of the refereeing decisions during a Made Up Game, and there is a Shame Well that royally cracks up the studio.
#268 - The Royal Tab, Insanity Platters and DI Robbyns
Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on.Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise.Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.
#267 - Atomic Bum, Apologetic Moshing and Yo Shoeshi
Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed time off to top up his tan / vibe stores. But who could keep his seat warm whilst he keeps himself warm in Portugal? There was only one man for the job: everyone’s favourite Old Etonian (depending on which newspaper you read), the one and only Ivo Graham! And just like a loan player looking to make their mark in lower league football, he wasn’t content with sitting on the bench! He got stuck in from the first minute, gave John the runaround and even left a leg in on Producer Dave.There’s a Made Up Game which some (including the higher-ups at 5 Live) have branded ‘risky’, Ivo takes a look through this week’s broadsheets, John discusses his most recent step to becoming a beefcake, and a loveable East End builder stops by to give us a quote. Bosh!
#266 - Single Pringles, Sportageddon and 225 Lollipop Ladies
With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANTIC faux pas from Producer Dave when describing his weekend plans, you’d be forgiven for looking on in disbelief when finding out today’s show is only 90 minutes long. Alongside all this bigness, Elis arrives at the studio with a very special guest, John sulks because of certain scoring parameters, and everyone just about remains on the right side of the undue prominence line when debating a Petty Parliament item.
#265 - Vampire Grannies, Breaking Beale and John’s Dream Seat
What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does new feature The Riff Symposium actually work? All valid questions, with some fascinating answers* that are all revealed, divulged or discussed across two hours of scintillating radio with Elis and John.And amongst the cut and thrust of top notch seat-of-your-pants broadcasting, there was a Made Up Game that delivered, an Ask John that informed, and a Petty Parliament that divided.*Burgundy Mercedes E-Class estate, near the toilets, maybe - we're hopeful.
#264 - Slimline Biscuits, Impartial Spines and Tweet The Internet
The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at the gym. His continued workout efforts have seen him rise to second in the table of the “5 Live Ripped Rankings”, and he’s got Rick Edwards firmly in his reach. And to show just how strong he’s become he was able to present the whole show with Elis on one shoulder and Producer Dave on another, all whilst maintaining perfect form.In a show which had “giddy energy” running through its veins the guys speak to a wildlife Unsung Hero, Elis’s social media habits are put under the microscope, John tries to figure out what car Tony Livesey drives, and Producer Dave’s eyes turn black from stress.
#263 - Dockers Dictionary, Postcode Dave and Floss Comedy
The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but do you know what they won't ever restrict? An appetite for quality chat that is SO ravenous they're able to make a 60-minute show feel like an 85-minute show because of just how much they've jammed into it! Producer Dave puts the guys through their comedy paces with another Riff Symposium, there's a discussion about Adrian Chiles' new money-making scheme, a listener tells us how brilliant Sweden is and John continues to flex his muscles (if only you could see them). Plus, John appeared on 5 Live Breakfast this morning as part of their 'In My Opinion' feature, so as a special treat we've included that too.
#262 - Robot Lasagne, Sink Sabotage and Ping When You’re Winning
A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis and John on 5 Live, or the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar (available at bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn, fyi)?BOTH! With today’s explosive offering matching the #daring and #dangerous extremes of everyone’s favourite wall-hung charity organiser.There was sink-based drama, microwave-based shenanigans, plus some other stuff that isn’t centred around the kitchen.Enjoy!
#261 - Riff Yourself Thin, Sexy Elis and Bury’d In Shame
In an unexpected turn of events John has become something of a 'gym head', and today in the studio he asked Elis and Dave to touch his muscles 12 times (far more than the usual three times). Thankfully the guys didn't pass out with passion: they were able to take the excitement they felt after John tensed up his biceps and translate it into top notch broadcasting.Today's show featured an on-air reunion with an old pal, a Shame Well that has already been submitted into the 'Awards' folder, everyone's favourite cheeky postman stopped by... and it was all delivered with a touch of class!Do YOU want access to back-to-back shame? Thankfully you're in luck, as 'Shame Well' is now available as its own playlist on BBC Sounds! Just search 'Shame Well' on the greatest app on earth to listen to some of the best shame from over the years uninterrupted.
#260 - Epsom Mad Funkers, Celestial Kick Ups and Capers Capers
A wise person once said "A rising tide lifts all boats". However another less well-known wise person also said "A giddy John lifts all spirits", and today saw such a proverb come to life as Robins and his good pal James excitedly crafted a radio show for the ages. Yes, Elis and John were in fine fettle today; and even managed to make Producer Dave turn completely pale whilst discussing EMF.If you're playing 'radio production bingo' you're likely to be shouting 'HOUSE' very quickly, as today's show included all the following: a live read of terms and conditions, a new feature created on the fly, throwing to the cricket, and ringing of 'the good radio bell'. There was also an extremely tense Made Up Game, a motivational masterclass, and a conclusion to 'Bristol City Penaltygate'.
#259 - FTSE Friday, Shy Erotica and Guff Complaints
Today's show was BRAVO, INDIA, GOLF. No, the guys weren't celebrating the achievements of PGA tour golfer Anirban Lahiri: they announced that 'The Elis James and John Robins Tax Year Calendar' in aid of Comic Relief is finally available to purchase! Whilst the value of the pound was only marginally affected by the announcement it's safe to say that the orders came flying in, showing once again how passionate the people of the UK are about TAX.Away from all the calendar chat there was a Made Up Game for the linguistics fans amongst you, the guys aired out some more Hot Gossip, Adrian shares some listeners' poetry to rival Producer Dave, and a real-life New Yorker dials in from his midtown loft on the Upper West Side!-To get hold of YOUR copy of the UK’s hottest piece of tax merchandise, you just need to head to bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn where you can also find the terms and conditions and privacy notice.Once there, you just need to click on the ‘Tax Calendar’ link, and that’ll take you straight to the order page.The calendar costs £12.99 including postage, with a minimum of £4 from each sale being donated to registered charity Comic Relief and will help to support people who are facing the toughest times of their lives. The money raised will help people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis and tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems, and food poverty.The calendars will be available to buy until 31st March 2023, so act fast to make sure you don’t miss out on your very own piece of tax history!
#258 - Martin Lewis, Operation Snack and Takeaway Tittle-Tattle
If the aim of a usual Elis and John show is to deliver ‘your classic 4-4-2’ (anecdote over the top, punchline flick-on, good radio bell finish), today felt more like an adventurous 5-2-1-2 set up. A formation that could bring the whole house of cards tumbling down, but if implemented successfully, it could be beautiful. Pivotal wing backs shuttling on the overlap between classic comedy defence and more exotic consumer advice interpretation attack.New features were given a runout (Hot Gossip), old favourites returned to the side (Backing Britain), some regulars adopted a new position and cameo role before full time (Petty Parliament) and the big man up front was brought on for the last 20 (Martin Lewis). And by jove, the gaffer only went and pulled it off.Long-winded, half-baked analogies aside, another rip-roaring show awaits, with the right honourable Martin Lewis CBE proving yet again what a thoroughly top chap he is.Enjoy.
#257 - Tweet The Internet, Sexual Cul-De-Sacs and Tube Quiz Champ
In a return to scenes reminiscent of 2020, today's show saw Elis, John and Producer Dave broadcasting from a whole host of exotic locations; such as Cardiff, London and Cheadle Hulme. There isn't a soul on earth who knows how radio actually works, so let's just say it's thanks to the magic of "technology" that the guys were able to broadcast to you the listener. And yes, of course there was going to be the odd hiccup - but isn't that what's fun about live radio?There was an all-time great Shame Well, a Made Up Game right in Dave's wheelhouse, some more listener Hot Gossip... and Elis makes a catastrophic error whilst channelling his inner Chingford.(Disclaimer: head to the 5 Live website for the full, CORRECT schedule.)
#256 - Goss Bros, Source A Horse and Space Invader Ska
Production… It's an Audio Always thing. Bringing the hottest goss in town… It’s an Elis and John thing. Having to tame radio’s most uncontrollable duo whilst broadcasting live to the nation, meaning you have to rely on hand gestures to show your annoyance… It’s a Producer Dave thing.Yes, it’s time for your weekly care package of #content from the guys; and it’s safe to say that today’s show was one of the giddiest we’ve had for a long time. There was a MASSIVE Tax Year Calendar update, John stressed about going to a fancy dress party (with a very ambiguous theme), Elis shared that he was the victim of a prank, and a listener finally asked the question we’ve all been wanting an answer for: “What does Producer Dave actually do?”.
#255 - Loving Lightly, Liner Pies and VAT Bottomed Girls
The UK is going through something of a cold snap at the minute, with temperatures dropping to as low as -2 degrees Celsius. But wait: don't go filling up that hot water bottle just yet, because Elis and John are here with more than two hours of boiling hot broadcasting warm enough to heat up a leisure centre to a balmy 19 degrees (or any building of a similar size).Their Tax Year Calendar plans race ahead at a frightening pace, the guys play a Made Up Game focusing on a broadcasting titan, John gets confused when plotting a railway journey... and most shockingly of all, Elis James struggles with an accent. You'll have to hear it to believe it!
#254 - George Ezra, Horny Traffic and Bond’s Great Escape
A hustling bustling show hit the airwaves today, as Elis and John not only laid the foundations for releasing their own Tax Year Calendar (April to April, 2023/2024), but they also said hello to friend of the show and all round lovely chap, George Ezra!The Bullion Boy slotted into the EJJR formation seamlessly, sharing tales of his 1200 mile hike, mucking in with Petty Parliament, and even humouring Elis and his impersonation skills as our old friend ‘Little Georgie Ezra’ made an appearance after a three year hiatus.Plus, prepare for a car-based Shame Well that surely ploughs straight down the overtaking lane into the top ten.
#253 - Pylon Alley, Chairman Meow and 1.2kg of Self-Reproach
New Year, new you… but same old badinage from Elis James and John Robins, radio’s most lovable lummoxes. And though we hope that you all had some peaceful time off, the festive break wasn’t a period of relaxation for the guys: Elis decided to write a critical analysis on every episode of the show from over the past year, and John came up with no less than 85 new show ideas… all of which have been added to the “ACTION THIS SECOND” folder in the Audio Always office.The guys heard about some of the visual highlights of the M40, argued about whether a former Prime Minister or former Big Breakfast host would make a better stand-in radio presenter, and there was a Champions League level Shame Well. What a way to start the year!This podcast has been edited in October 2024.
#252 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2022
Leonard I. Sweet once proclaimed "The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create", and as BBC Radio 5 Live's premium purveyors of content Elis and John are already hard at work creating a future full of japes, jokes and jolly's, they don't have time for nostalgia; their eyes are firmly fixed on what's up next for them... and they NEVER dwell on the past.That said, here's a show purely dedicated to looking back at their best moments from 2022.There's been highs (Elis watching his beloved Wales qualify for the World Cup), there's been lows (John having a sardine-induced breakdown in Scotland) ... and prose that Wordsworth himself would be proud of (Producer Dave rhyming 'ineffective' with 'Pigeon Detectives').See you next year!
#249 - Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special
Games. Some of us love them, some of us take them far too seriously, some of us make them up... and this very special edition of the Elis James and John Robins show celebrates those games that have been created by you, the listener: but with a festive twist. That's right, it's Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special!Recorded in front of a live studio audience at the BBC Philharmonic Studios, this episode sees Elis and John compete against each other to accrue as many points as possible in order to claim the title of Made Up Games Christmas Champion. However, they're not alone: Producer Dave acts as the iron-fisted quizmaster, members of the BBC Philharmonic provide a live music soundtrack, and the guys are joined by two VERY special guests. So don your Christmas jumpers, pull a cracker, and settle in for an hour of pure festive Made Up Games!
#251 - Thawduroy, Chiles Play and A Breakdown In Glencoe
It's the last Friday before Christmas. You're counting down the minutes until you can leave work. Out of office turned on, fax machine turned off; you're ready to hit the road... and in front of you is a mammoth 195 mile journey from Gloucester to Hull.It's a scenario familiar to millions, but thankfully Elis and John are here to help those of you heading home over the festive period; and on today's show they were looking to accumulate a billion miles worth of journeys around the country. How far are the people of the UK travelling? Who are they with? And most crucially of all, what are they driving? Yes: we're Driving Home For Christmas.The guys also speak to a positively festive Unsung Hero, Santa's Head of Logistics drops by... and the joke writing skills of two of the UK's premier comedians are put to the test in a very special Made Up Game.
#250 - Operation Semaphore, 22 Pill Mipes and Naga's Perfect Roasties
Today, a new geo-triumvirate was born, as content proceeded to explode across the airwaves from central London (Elis), BBC Bristol (John) and Salford’s Media Citeh (Producer Dave).And with a smorgasbord of content covered including (but not limited to) bean shots, Clarence Seedorf, toilet seats, Chinooks, Pokemon cards, potatoes, Roy Keane, Larkin and Scottish weather, maybe long-distance ISDN-supported broadcasting is the future for our digital-terrestrial protagonists?Either way, good show.
#248 - Honey Traps, Window Misteries and Van Outen: The One That Got Away
With something called the 'World Cup' still holding a monopoly over the airways Elis and John were shunted into an hour long quarter final shaped siding of a show today. But the presence of neither Croatians or Brazilians on the schedule could cramp their style. John took his seemingly talking big coat out for a spin, Elis channels Brando and fans of Wareing, Wallace, et al. will be pleased with a tasty Made Up Game.
#247 - Melon FM, John's Hot Nuts and Fackets
The spinning mule. Fred Dibnah. The Wigan kebab. Many things have rocked Greater Manchester, but none have made quite the impact as today's broadcast from Media Citeh. A quiet gasp went around the building as the revolving doors revealed that the Big Wigs were in town for their approximately annual away day to the Salford Riviera."Is that Britain's premier professional football fan and Amersham's 1,232nd golfer?" they whispered as John sipped his long black and Elis took off his million pound jacket ready for an hour of gonzo radio the UK hadn't heard since the days of Producer Dave was larging it in Fifth Avenue. The result for the non-live listener is 79 podcast minutes of birds, receipt repartee and generic catalogue oriented fun.
#246 - Educated Fleas, Pomegranate Fridges and Wee Out Your Concerns (Bonus #Content)
EYou may have heard that something called the ‘World Cup’ is currently taking place in Qatar, and due to 5 Live’s commitment to bringing coverage of EVERY game throughout the tournament there was no live Elis and John show this week. However, there’s no way we couldn’t provide you with your weekly dose of chat, so we’re happy to share some bonus #content with you. Think of it as a vibe symposium, the Yolta of ‘chat’, a meeting of minds… Essentially, it’s Elis, John and Producer Dave having a good old catch up. Elis discusses his journey to Qatar to watch Wales at their first World Cup since 1958, John talks about his journey to the car (with his beer fridge), and Producer Dave alleges that he's currently at his heaviest. Enjoy!
#245 - Two Belt Tony, Good Radio Richard and Sandwiches In The Dark
After recovering from the career-threatening injury he sustained whilst playing dodgeball last week John was able to make it into the studio for today’s show… and when he put his cap on five minutes before the mics went live Elis and Dave just knew that it was going to be a good day. However, when the cap ended up coming off there were concerns that the radio wheels might fall off. Thankfully John didn’t lose the metaphorical dressing room, and battled through to score radio goal after radio goal.The guys speak to an Unsung Hero who’s out in Qatar with the Welsh national team, John does a good (but weird) impression, and there’s one of the funniest Made Up Games of all time.
#244 - Stodge Then Dodge, Topknot Tony and Love Thy Rut
There’s nothing worse than a sportsman sustaining an injury before a big event. Months of preparation hang in the balance, opportunities of a lifetime potentially lost forever… and just like Gareth Bale ahead of the upcoming World Cup there were questions about whether John would be able to present today’s show after sustaining an injury to his calf. But you know John… he’s able to power through ANYTHING, and fresh from a long bath he rolled back the months and presented the show from home - with only minor miscommunications with Elis!Despite being miles apart the show was an absolute triumph! The guys were joined by a cricketing Unsung Hero, Tanya from YouGov dropped by to discuss how the people of Britain recite phone numbers, Tony Livesey talked about his solitary news reading appearance and Elis went barmy thanks to a Made Up Game.
#243 - Phone Formations, Lies Monthly and Pick Ye Candles
Every once in a while Elis and John will pull a topic out of thin air that causes the text console to explode; and their ability to engage the nation is something they take pride in. However, today it was the turn of listener Ian to grab the nation's attention with his submission to Petty Parliament… and what a topic it was (caution: you WILL have your own opinion on it).We speak to an Unsung Hero who plays a very important role in the world of Strictly Come Dancing, there’s a Made Up Game that was probably a bit too far in John’s wheelhouse, Producer Dave tells us his story of Squandering Extravagance and the guys share a live announcement (massive it is).
#242 - Davestation, Flexing For Britain and The BACS Zone
It feels like a lifetime since Elis, John and Producer Dave were all in the same room together, but fresh from their respective trips away (stag do and golf do) not only were they returning to the studio… They were also returning to give YOU a lesson in how live radio should be: fast, loose, and with off-the-cuff quizzes.After Elis’s shocking revelation that he doesn’t wash his face the guys chat to a skin doctor about whether a change of routine is needed, John throws Elis under the bus when testing out his accent skills, Producer Dave offers some parenting advice on escalator safety and John shares his deep understanding of chancel insurance.
#241 - Crossman’s Mullet, Bingo Bango Bongo and Can Mentality
Elis and John are both taking a much deserved break from their regular slot this week. No, they aren’t heading to a couples retreat in Bali to “find themselves”; Elis is going on a stag do and John is off to play golf. So, like the dedicated broadcasters they are, the guys reconvened on a crisp Sunday morning to ensure that no one has to go a week without their usual fix of affable broadcasting.As well as all the usual fun there was a calamitous performance in a Made Up Game, Elis tells a joke so poor that it wouldn’t make it into a Christmas cracker, John shares his unusual phobia, and Producer Dave gets a lesson in moth-edible clothing.As a side note, we recorded this episode before the recent political events regarding the Prime Minister. We can assure you that as capable broadcasters Elis and John are more than trusted to cover political goings-on; they just don't yet have the ability to see into the future.
#240 - Café del Marsterman, Lonely Fans and Weymouth Whining
Due to #factors Elis and John didn’t present a live show today; but not ones to let you, the listener, miss out on their weekly dose of chat they decided to record a bonus episode. It’s laid back, it’s loosey goosey, it’s chilled, it’s a jam.Producer Dave reveals that he didn’t invite John on a special lash, Elis steps behind the microphone after a challenging week, John shares that he’s off for a walk with the SWC and to celebrate National Album Day the guys speak to the artist who designed the artwork for Elton John’s debut album.
#239 - Müttley Crüe, Aroused Lightning and Welsh Washing
Today Elis returned from his end of summer break feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, and sat down on a seat that had been kept suitably warm by Ivo Graham. Not one to rest on his laurels he was ready to raise the temperature of that seat even more by jumping head first into some riveting topics of conversation. Yes, Elis James and John Robins were able to prove once again that they know exactly what the country want to talk about by pulling not one but TWO topics of conversation out of thin air that switched the light boards up like Blackpool Illuminations.Elsewhere, Producer Dave treads carefully during a Made Up Game, John discusses golf humour, and Tony Livesey shares that he finds eating sexy. Plus, 12 months on from the #SaveJohn campaign we’re given an update by James from the Office of National Statistics to see whether John’s hard work wasn’t a total waste of time.
#238 - Spartan Skodas, Curveball Carvery and The Terracotta Assassin
With Elis James spending this Friday sunning himself in Wales it was down to John to choose a suitable co-host to take his place. It was a drawn out process featuring seven preliminary rounds of auditioning, two auditions in front of a live audience and an arm wrestle. The victor, and sharing the airwaves with John this week, was none other than Ivo Graham; and boy did he relish the opportunity.Making his first appearance as an official co-host, Ivo really embraced the cut and thrust nature of broadcasting with John. It was a case of “run before you can walk”, and with each stride he got closer to a finishing line marked “chat”. There was an impromptu discussion with a referee, John got annoyed during a Made Up Game, Ivo put his improv skills to the test and Producer Dave NEARLY Backed Britain.
#237 - Clown Of The Scrum, Party Squirrels and Darklord866
If you surveyed 100 residents of the United Kingdom and asked them what it is exactly that they want from a radio show (similar to RAJAR: radio's primary source of audience data) they'd probably list the following: a discussion with an ethical hacker, a feature where two grown men try to estimate the weight of a welly based on feel alone, and regular reminders of how much one of the presenters needs a nap. Following on from the aforementioned survey a panel of creatives would probably gather and create today's EXACT Elis James and John Robins show... which is now available for you to enjoy!There's also an update on the Backing Britain campaign, Tony Livesey discusses his long hair days, and John uses his power to kick a caller to the curb.
#236 - "I Thought I Needed A Reason To Just Give Me To Shake Things Up A Bit" (Bonus #Content)
On Friday 9th September John Robins was due to go away, which meant he, Elis and Producer Dave spent the evening of Monday 5th September pre-recording a show so that you the listener didn't miss out on any content. However, after the sad news that Queen Elizabeth II had passed away on Thursday 8th the BBC decided that having Elis and John on air less than 24 hours later might have been a bit too jovial given the circumstances.We didn't want this show to go the same way as the oft spoken of "Pub Quiz" bonus episode, so we've decided that the time is probably right to release what we recorded. And as a special treat you’ll hear a chat with comedian Glenn Moore, who gives an insight into what it was like working with Elis and John at the beginning of their radio journey.