Elis James and John Robins

Bye Bye Mr Audio, Hello Mr Saturday Night! There are rumours that Saturday night TV is dead. That it just doesn't bring in the eyeballs that Bowen, Black and Forsyth once did and the cash well is drying up. But with five kids between them and the prospect of John’s fixed rate mortgage expiring at an unstated date, that’s still enough cash to entice the ever well oiled ideas machine into life.Whether ‘Mr Saturday Night’ or ‘Dave & Dave’s Sexy Show’ would pull in millions is one question. Another question is easier to answer: would a BBC commissioner dashing their shiny floor dreams LIVE be box office listening? Yes, yes it would.Aside from dreams of gunge, interviewing pets and the big time there’s some heavy hitting moments: an aurally unique Made Up Game, the Cymru Connection’s own VAR moment and potentially the ultimate Petty Parliament.It’s all best experienced on the BBC Sounds app where if you tire of this vapid content you can easily switch to the stoicism of Radio 4’s The World At One with the tap of a thumb. You can’t do that on any other app.

Drink in it folks, we’re living in a new golden age. That’s right, the lesser talked about field of alpinism has reached new heights, a new zenith. And there’s one man to thank: Mr John Robins.Johnny JR’s record-breaking successful scale of the Matterhorn with his eyes (a feat previously thought impossible) is picked over in detail, as is his expensive alpine driving, and his holiday eating habits: lots of pasta, double pizzas. Have we unearthed the new Michael Palin?Among the usual japes - including elite mad daddery, more nightclub attire chat, and a journey from the bap to the barm via the butty - the boys also ordain a new youth oriented corner of the podcast. Slay.

Jekyll and Hyde isn’t a work of fiction. Nor is James McAvoy in hit film Split. No. If you were to venture down the B and C roads of mainland Wales the past few weeks you’ll have seen something far more surprising: Welsh Elis and English Elis. For there’s an astonishing revelation of the West Walian comic once thought of as polite and mild-mannered. James’ alternative persona is coming to a Welsh theatre near you and be prepared for an attitude that will shock. As well as the mental there's also time for analysis of the physical side of the game, as the boys dig into the sudden born to bench trend of the UK funny man. There’s also a national infrastructure halting Shame, and there’s an inspirational Made Up Game sure to generate merch revenues that could pay for Tim Davie’s Calippo bill for at least the next financial quarter. All this despite an initial lack of confidence in the gameplay. Because it wouldn’t be Elis and John if they didn’t trash a game before passing it with flying colours. Trust. The. Process.If you aren’t already listening to the show on the universe leading BBC Sounds app then you better swear on Adrian’s life that you’ll sort that very this instant.

What do we all do before going on holiday? Check we have our Big Three (keys, boarding pass, passport), worry about whether the place has a washing machine, and write up a draft will. It’s the classic Robins pre-holiday triumvirate.Yes, Johnny JR is off on his holidays to climb the Matterhorn with his eyes. And boy does he have a spring in his step!Alongside holiday chat, we witness the birth of a new event: The Elis and John Decathlon. Jessica Ennis-Hill and Daley Thompson watch out, two digital podcast-first DJs are coming for you.And don’t for one second think this podcast doesn’t contain excellent mad daddery, top listener correspondence and chat about the world’s favourite app BBC Sounds.

When one thinks of the great socialisers ‘John’ and ‘Robins’ are two words that don’t immediately spring to mind. But are we seeing a transformation in a week that sees John enter 1920s socialite levels of social butterflyery. From partying in Brixton and currying with top business folk, to watching Tom Rosenthal get fitted for golf clubs for four hours on a Tuesday, is there nothing this man can’t do to fill his busy schedule?Beyond John’s Big Social Week we throw open the doors to one of the great friends and PCDs of the show, Ania Magliano, who brings an extraordinary tale of her own mad father.Also, if you aren’t already listening on BBC Sounds, then what on God’s green earth are you doing? For all the other platforms’ merits, do they have direct inject access to live radio on digital tap? No!

Wheel the to 1:50 scale Maine Road birthday cake out, Producer Dave is turning 40!George Orwell posited that 1984 would be a year of bleak dystopian nightmares. In reality it spawned Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’, the film Ghostbusters and Stockport's finest podcast-first producer, Dave Masterman. Eat that, Orwell.So it’s time to celebrate in the only way Dave knows how: with a bucket of coleslaw, an overly priced toastie, a trip to the local omnipotent bar chain and an hour of podcasting fun. We hear from an array of friends from his past including some Mancunian acquaintances…Away from the birthday fun we get more insights into the secrets of sex clubs - John, fully clothed, has his notebook at the ready - and we all go a bit chippy mad.And remember to keep it locked on BBC Sounds.

It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.But no filth please, because unlike rival shows this is not a sex podcast!

After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!And make sure to listen on the world’s most intuitive app: BBC Sounds.

Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.

It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.And remember that the greatest track upon which to listen to the show (if it were still an old steam train) would be the trusty tracks of BBC Sounds.

It’s a giddy John we encounter today, for our hero is about to embark on his yearly golfing pilgrimage to Elis’s beloved Portugal. Talk of unspeakably high win rates and historic opportunities to become “better than Man City at golf” abounds.Elsewhere, there’s a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons of skipping TV theme music, an eventful outing of John’s favourite feature The Cymru Connection (which leads to a yet another new podcast idea for Mr Audio), and a “billy-bink-bink-bonks” Shame Well entry.

Tick tock Robins went down in history. But tick tock Masterman? Now that’s a whole different ball game. Like Stuart Pearce or Joe Royle missing the team bus, you’d think that unheard of, but not today. So expect the sackings to fly.Away from such tardiness, Elis reads the best and second best emails of this financial quarter, John features in one of sport’s most hilarious beefs and, shockingly I know, in depth service station chat interrupts some Tolkien Mad Daddery.

Oh we do have some fun don’t we. And if the Funometer was measuring in funtometres then today’s show would cause it to 404 error due to exceeding the fun scale. And it’s in large part because walking jingler David O’Doherty is on the show with a funtastic Made Up Game to play!Plus there’s a Shame that’ll really make you squirm and an absolutely compelling Welshman for Elis to sink his parochial teeth into. But there’s also time for #reflection with some earth shattering news about the Bag of Death.

As time continues its cruel, relentless, and inevitable march onwards, thoughts turn to retirement plans; how will our heroes see out their final days? Who has their eye on one big final paycheck? The answer may surprise you. And who doesn’t mind just fizzling out quietly? Elis.It’s also a big day for Producer Dave, as his lost university dissertation finally sees the light of day. The nation has been waiting with baited breath to hear about the past, present, and future of Sheffield Hallam’s student radio station Rush Radio, and today we can deliver the goods.And fortunately/unfortunately (deleted as appropriate), there is still a little bit of the dance to be danced...

After such vigorous dancing last time out the boys have done their stretches and downed their recovery shakes in preparation for a classic Elis and John day at the office.In a quite astonishing move, Dave takes a laptop to church, Elis struggles to follow the recipe and there’s a Cymru Connection for which circular content was designed for.Elis also takes in some excellent advice from you the you the listener on how he can chart the waters of wedlock and John makes a quite startling revelation about how he spent the other afternoon.If you don't already, listen to the show on BBC Sounds. It's completely free to download and you get ALL BBC audio right at your fingertips!

We’re all excited about dancing the dance. The most intimate dance. Cheek to cheek entering the ballroom. John woke up at 3:30 this morning on edge about dancing the dance. His favourite conversation. The romantic frisson. The interplay between venue capacity, ticket price and audience demand. The delicious dance. The one thing better than talking about the dance is being actually involved in the dance.What the above probably hasn’t elucidated is, it should be pointed out, is that the dance more specifically is 45 minutes of discussion about dynamic pricing. This might not be for everyone. So if you’re against that then do leave the show playing whilst you nip out the house because we need to keep those retention figures up.There are things in this episode which don’t involved dancing but it makes up about 25%.

We’ll throw down the gauntlet here. This is *classic* Elis and John. A podium place episode. Champions League. There, I said it. Big laughs, sex swapping, something harrowing from Robins, an absolute Billy belter… of a Cymru Connection, Americans dealing with 5-year-olds’ opinions on gun control and a rock solid Shame.Elsewhere Elis settles into married life by talking about Patreon to a Frenchman, John is desperate to know from Phil Wang how to get a Netflix Special and a Made Up Game to really grab your attention. There’s just *a lot* going on.

A union that we’ve waited 15 years for between a pair significantly involved in the UK’s cultural scene. Some of the most significant personal news to hit this show in a long long time which requires examining on many fronts. No not Elis’s wedding but the Oasis reunion. For Producer Dave might spontaneously combust. He might break down due to not being on the presale and there are distinct concerns for his use of substances in July 2025.Elsewhere Elis has got married. That's also in here.Also expect some significant accusations from the most trend setting radio show in the land.

With post-wedding factors still in play, it’s another trip down the pre-recorded well today. But don’t for one second think that means a drop in quality, for with this very podcast episode comes high quality chat about dog/fox mess, a scorching anecdote about Elis having his car cleaned, and a meaty Made Up Game from the vaults to boot.With the Oasis reunion news rocking producer Dave to his very core, there’s also a very fortuitous and timely chat about the merits of Noel Gallagher’s cooking skills. It’s almost as if Noel and Liam were waiting for this episode to drop. It makes you wonder…

You might have been expecting to come across the full lowdown of what is being described by Hello and OK! as the wedding of the summer. But no, for with weddings come honeymoons, so it’s a break glass for emergency episode situation. Thus, if it seems weird that there’s no mention of the happy couple or John’s best man activities then there’s your reasoning.So it’s three crazy guy joined by Annie McGrath to tackle a Chinese conundrum. Plus they dig into some of your questions and chat the hottest bods in the comedy game.

Well, Fine and Unwell: the three states. Constantly switching across protagonists with one having to pick up the slack. But who will it be this week? An Elis at peak stress levels, a Dave on one hour sleep, or a still zen Robins?There’s a lot of chaos to absorb on the show today as Dave tries his best to wrangle four professional talkers. Never has a bleary eyed father of three had his patience tested so much. The combination of Elis and John x Clara and Jordan from BBC Sounds’ ‘Make Me A Mixtape’ could be his undoing.Elsewhere there are a couple of the most bonkers coach journeys hitherto known to man - which justifies this very long thread’s continued current inclusion. Plus, has Elis finally met his Cymraes match?You can check out Make Me A Mixtape on the inimitable BBC Sounds. It’s loadsa fun. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0j2n5w8/episodes/player

Twas the night before Elis’s wedding, and though we can’t offer you non-stirring mice, we can guarantee you something even better, and even rarer: Elis at the end of his tether. He has 3 big problems for enlightened John to solve, and the balm of reading stories about the maddest of dads offers some much needed salve.John frets about the legacy of Ivo Graham’s past wedding speech triumphs, and Dave’s in a tizz of his own after returning from a nightmare journey back from his beloved Algarve.It’s an episode beset by worries but packed with the usual laughs, and ends with Elis picturing his dream wedding where no one has turned up and he’s sat there eating piles of salmon...

The Elis and John realm remains a very zen place to be. So grab your headphones, get into a comfortable position, and let the BBC’s youngest and most chilled out broadcasters relax your busy mind. And what could be more relaxing than a chat about arctic rolls? What could induce a sense of calm more than picturing Elis James in a 14th century jester’s outfit? Can you achieve nirvana by talking about the first Ronseal bride? You’ll have to listen to find out.

John’s been on a silent retreat. Today he breaks his silence with a man, who unlike him, ultimately revels in conversation. One who would discuss the career stats of Leon Britton until the heat death of the universe.It’s a big one on one between two intellectual heavyweights. Think BBC Four or late night TV of the past whereby two great minds would just melt out reflections to biggen your brain by osmosis. Or alternatively it’s just a big old chat about guff management. A changed man and Elis just shooting the (psychological) breeze.

Elis and John have been overcome by two forces this week: Olympic fever, and the stark realisation that their bits are old. The former makes for a Made Up Game for the ages, whilst the latter leads to a pensive mood in the studio.Sporting antics and todger worrying aside, John thinks he might have become one of the great parents, Elis reads a world-beating mad dad story, and there's a controversial sitting of the Petty Parliament.

36 hours. That is the approximate time it takes to travel to from Melton Mowbray to Gibraltar via coach. It is also the approximate time now dedicated to emails on how long coach journeys can be. But Elis and John are endlessly fascinated by your horrible horrible travels.But amidst such mega[bus] chat there’s moments that are actually quite #moving. Because you know we can deal with emotional heft and also acknowledge that John can bring the mood down on a cancer ward.Elsewhere there’s a fantastic surprise in the spin the wheel nature that is 80 Daves and the prospect of Robins as Samuel Pepys sends a chill down the spine.

The Great Organiser is Robins. And his latest trick was to organise the ultimate stag for a Welshman in his forties. Design touches, #thoughtfulness and the opportunity to simply talk to people for a few hours amount to a roaring success all round and provides a prime example of why John’s so stressed all the time. It’s because he tries.In other non-stag quarters there’s a meaty old global David and the official referees’ board enters the fray around Elis’s Welsh connecting. In a rare occasion it’s a Made Up Game-less show today simply because there’s anecdotes aplenty.

Are weddings run on facts? Do they need to be ULEZ compliant? Is it a laugh when people respond to questions about dietary requirements with humorous whimsy? These are the questions that are keeping Elis James up at night as the big day approaches.Aside from the stresses and strains of organising a wedding, there’s a debate about whether reading out someone else’s tweets makes for good content - followed by 15 minutes of said content. We take a school trip to the abattoir, we spend an unfathomable amount of time on a coach, and Russell Howard drops by to answer a listener’s dilemma.

When Elis James meets his idols there’s usually only one outcome: he gets it wrong. But a chance meeting with Britpop royalty this week has given Elis the chance to set this trend right. Will he crumble? Will his symphonic bowels play ball? Will he push his glasses too far up his nose again? All is revealed within.Elsewhere, the previous torch carriers for email have done a volte face and turned on the once glorious medium, the boys decide which of them would be the better friend to various mums, and Elis tries to find a connection to a random Welsh person.

John’s world has been rocked from beneath him. Our hero's fears have piled up, and a trip to the medical room - hopefully containing one of London’s timidest doctors - is needed. Join us for a deep dive into the underworld.In lighter news, dads are still up to their mad tricks, a childhood liar descends into the sewers, and John ponders how many children the podcast has sired.

In today’s show ********************** ************** *************** ************ **************. The previous paragraph was censored by Producer Dave for being too balanced.In uncensored information Elis James' Welsh knowledge is put to the test, unique vocal chops are showcased, and there’s a corker of a Shame.

“Surprise surprise”, not the words of the late Cilla Black, but those of Mr Dave Masterman, as the show takes a couple of gastronomic and lyrical turns today, in an effort to a) make a crucial judgement, and b) galvanise one of the four nations of our United Kingdom.From Cilla to one of her bezzie mates, there’s some incredibly innovative advertising involving Paul McCartney. Elis is deep in a world solely consisting of Andy Murray and wedding and John has seen something that will make his best groom feel unwell.

Remember the Cheeky Girls of noughties Lembit Opik fame? Well today it’s the Cheeky Boys. And former Lib Dem MP Opik is the only reference to politics you’re getting due to Elis’s unsanctioned cheekiness which manifests itself as being *too* balanced.Elsewhere if you had 1,000 guesses as to what TV show John’s been watching this week, you still wouldn’t get it, and Producer Dave files through a formerly unknown Made Up Games repository.

A schism has come between Elis and John that may signal the end of Britain’s youngest broadcasters’ undisputed reign of the podcast-first platform. It all boils down to one question: are emails about the prices of things in the past interesting or boring? It’s time to pick a side. Once a side in this polarising debate has been picked, you are free to enjoy a conversation about French onion soup, a chat about Rob Auton’s lovely new fleece, and a listener calling into question Elis’s claim about never getting DOMS.

On the horizon approaching the dusty Elis and John town in the podcast wild west is an indiscernible speck. Over time it goes from a dot, to a blob, to a horse, to a horse with man. And the man is not just a man but a messenger. And that steed is here to drop off huge news.As we bask and delve into such massive-massive-it-is news, there’s also bard brilliance, a bleeding corker of a Made Up Game daubed all over the walls and we get a first hand account of encountering one of the greatest Daves of any gen - [do the voice] Mr David Bowie.

What do you get when you cross a mad dad with a donkey? It’s the question we’ve all been asking, and on today’s podcast we finally get the answer: one of the great mad dad stories of all time, a stone-cold hall of famer.Walking over broken glass at Wembley Stadium for Adrian Chiles (and Dion Dublin) is also covered, as is heating up a fajita on a shin, and Chloe Petts is on hand to dole out some questionable advice.

Move over Geraint Thomas, there are some new Welsh thighs on the cycling scene. Elis’s heroic cycle ride to Brighton is picked over and analysed, as is his newfound insatiable appetite, and his muscle-related chat that bores a fellow 5 Live presenter.In a surprising turn of events we also get one step closer to identifying the graffiti artist Banksy, we hear from a listener who has the ‘ultimate head’, and the Petty Parliament moves ever closer to the autocracy we all feared it could become.

If podcasts were countries, and episodes were drivers, then this iteration of Elis and John would be covering a hell of a lot of ground. One minute it’s loco coco dads, the next it’s a deep dive into the Gibraltar national football team. And between them you’ve got shy builders, biro yachts, and a cappella jingles.Solving your dilemmas has become one of our main priorities, and this week is no different. Matthew Crosby is on hand to help a band member in need, where for some reason the question ‘do you want to be a slimy juggler’ is part of the solution.

Elis is hoisted by his own genetic petard today. For he and Isy have combined to create the perfect journalistic lampooner. And he has nowhere to hide.Amidst such blindsiding, the idea of John at a music festival paints a vivid picture and we hear of 2kg of coffee bean consumption to prove a point.

The Euros are kicking off but Elis is sad. Because due to penalties, rather than being on the lash with the lads and girls of Swansea, Rhyl and Pontypridd, he’s in a studio in London. But that’s not to say he can’t have a ruddy good time with his less Welsh pals.And they get down to some right old fun. Producer Dave doesn’t have faith in a temporary sporting feature resurrection due to ‘topicality in a pre-recorded landscape’ and one third of the greatest beans on Earth (excluding Sean Bean) joins to solve a dilemma.

We’re heading towards quite frankly Australian levels of being rattled on today’s Made Up Game as another game format comes under the microscope of two players who simply want to be given the win.Elis is also distracted by the past - shock - and Producer Dave actually wants the boys to get *more* political?! A bold move given the ‘Secretary of State for Getting Ready For The Weekend’s’ role as de-politiciser in chief.

Today’s show is a titanic showdown between two arch-nemeses. It’s Disraeli against Gladstone, it’s David versus Goliath, it’s The Rumble in the Jungle; it’s Elis James facing up to his footballing rival Nish Kumar. Sparks fly, scores are settled, and a listener’s dilemma is answered (sort of) in the process.It’s also an episode that seeks to teach as well as entertain. And if learning that we should be writing big messages on big melons isn’t enough education for you, we’re not sure what is. Plus, Britain’s youngest broadcasters lament the clothing choices of their fellow young people.

If you've ever seen the film Stepbrothers then the behaviour exhibited by man-children Ferrell and C. Reilly isn't so far removed from today's Made Up Game. A very simple premise is put through the wringer, testing Producer Dave to his limits.There's also accusations of inter-show ideas transfer, a goat chop half marathon and Elis is slap bang in his wheelhouse for these week's global Dave.

One of the great comedy gameshow performers is in the house as Taskmaster concludes. Whether that’s Robins, or one of his other competitors who came out on top, we’re not willing to spoil via an episode description.Dig deep and you’ll also hear some fascinating stats that really illuminate the psyche of Robins, what not to say to a horse person, and there’s an extraordinary exclusive about the Blue Peter garden.

Elis and John embark on their 1,000 hours of political podcasting over the next 5 weeks, much to Producer Dave’s dismay. Which is quite an incredible aim given the short timescales at play here.But today’s show is of the unclothed variety as the boys chat being naked whilst John’s seen a film with more willies than the average cinema fare. Plus there are some bold assertions thrown around in the current operating house of this nation, the Petty Parliament.

Dave’s back not with a vengeance, but for an absolute bumper buffet of an episode. For there’s not one, but TWO new features. Oh we do spoil you, but that's all we're telling you. A little tease. But no more. And by our reckoning this edition features the most car brands crowbarred in out of any episode we’ve ever done, which is quite some achievement.

Well, well, well. Every so often the old gal which is Made Up Games throws a grenade into the mix. And does it lead to drama? You bet ya it does as sparks fly.We’re still operating in a Daveless Zone as he launches his online whiskey company / goes walking in the Lake District - delete as to what’s believable. With the Masterman away there's a googly received at the 80 Daves crease and elsewhere Elis is humiliated on the football field.The quality of correspondence is *superb* at the moment. So whether it’s your Mad Dads or a dilemma to be solved by the boys then get it in to [email protected] or WhatsApp us on 07974 293 022

It’s a podcast-first first as Elis and John enter the unknown: Cheadle Hulme’s most handsome producer is absent, leaving the unproduceables unproduced. It’s Elis and John unleashed. But digital Dave is on hand to provide some podcasting tips, should the boys completely forget how to broadcast.Fish fingers are another main course, as a listener answers the age old question of how many of the breaded delights can be eaten in one sitting. Dads are of course up to their mad tricks, and a comedian friend drops by to answer a listener's dilemma.Also you can watch ‘So Many Reasons’, the Taylor Swift John Robins breakup song by Charlene Kaye, in full right here: www.bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn or on the BBC Sounds YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@BBCSoundsIf you want to get in touch with the show then email [email protected] or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022

A huge moment for both Swifties and Red Breasts alike, for today’s the day we hear the hit new single about “What if Taylor Swift broke up with a Bristolian comic who specialises in emotional heft.”The crowds are in and the red carpet is out, as despite Elis and John seemingly confusing a first play with a film premiere, this is an occasion. Elsewhere a listener sends in another wonderful Made Up Games jingle BUT it must pass the discerning ear of Johnny JR.If you want to check out our songwriter, and her shows / work, it’s the very funny and talented Charlene Kaye. Just give her a Google.

All sorts of achievements flying around on the show. Some aural and others gastronomic as the boys reflect on a great night at the big radio awards as well as John's food consumption.We check in on how the Swift x Robins masterpiece is coming together and also answer the question, "Should you clap 180 nominees?" A Q that all of the high fliers in various industries will be asking.