Dungeon Dads

As our heroes do their best to make the best of the situation at the tower, our story moves back to Lakeshire. A professional named Argon "Stormfeather" has been tasked with rescuing someone named Grim Portnoy from the Orphanage's dungeon. After taking weeks to meticulously plan the extraction, a promised distraction comes early and forces Argon to act ahead of schedule. The best laid plans... Dad References: Tenacious D - City Hall Battle Star Galactica Top Secret! Helter Skelter Alexander the Great Cobra Kai Scanners (NSFW) The Boys (NSFW) Gender Reveal Party The Abyss Palpatine Machine Support our guest, Austin Moraga: The Iron Bound Chest Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode27

Barely alive and running low on options, standing at a tree of unknown origin and purpose, Filnyr, Abel & Ionas find themselves stuck between the Ederran army and a growing darkness that approaches from the Briar wall. Dad References: Brother Darkness Double Dragon Eva Perón Brock Lesnar Dig Dug Friendly Ghost Theater in the Round Balasana (Yoga Pose) David Bowie - Labyrinth Mario running for coins Minecraft The Old Tongue Smells Like Teen Spirit Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode26

It's open war at the ruined temple as Paresseux's reach extends beyond the spear pieces to command the minds of those around him. Our heroes fight for survival while also making a decision that could fracture the group and radically alter the fate of the Brine Valley. After this, nothing will be the same. Dad References: Here Comes the General The Gambler Obi-Wan's Battle Stance Vomit The Giving Tree Islands in the Stream Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode25

After handling their separate threats, our heroes are hurt, nearly out of resources, and still have some distance to travel to make their way back to Lakenhearth. It won't be made any easier as Paresseux's "Paladin" awaits down the road... Dad References: Our list of allies grows thin Silverado Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode24

As Filnyr & Abel try to find their way back to the Lakenhearth militia's wagon, Ionas, Florn & the militia have to deal with a surprise of their own. Without his compatriots, Ionas is left to his instincts, and well... a blaster's gonna blast. Dad References: Rolo Tomassi Who’s on First? Man, it’s been a long day, and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles Game. Blouses. Dread Pirate Roberts Ding Dong Ditch Modern Caster General Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode23

With a small militia protecting them & Despo Goodshower in tow, the guys flee the Battle of the Briar and head toward Lakenhearth as fast as they can, hoping to beat the Ederran army there. The situation quickly gets more complicated as scouts report back, and their skills are needed in two places at once. With time working against them, do they risk losing an ally, or attempt to divide and conquer? Dad References: Leisure Suit Larry Old Priest and a Young Priest Hungry Eyes Get Down On It Dead Again Night of the Living Dead Skeletons hit the magical ward (GoT) And a shot and a beer Peabody and Sherman "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!" "And the horse you rode in on!" "I've had enough of this shit!" Super Mario Galaxy Get Bonus Content and More on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Merchandise: Dungeon Dads store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode22

Our heroes find themselves once again atop the bramble wall, this time looking outward over a fierce battle between soldiers of the Hark army and numerous barbarians & druids led by the Gnome on Pantherback aka The Undercarriage of the Future aka The Scourge of the Tall Folk aka Rides with Bear Mounts... Familiar faces appear, and a desperate scenario forces Jonas, and his compatriots, into the middle of the fray. Dad References: West Siiiiide Shipoopi Yoda Nightcrawler Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons Iron Lotus Triple Lindy The Floor is Lava Check us out on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode21

Our heroes spend the night in Grove Relache, waiting for the arrival of the White Lady. Unexpected dangers loom and familiar faces make surprise appearances, but the fellas worry that their decision may have... grove consequences. Dad References: Gale's Coffee Maker Cabin in the Woods "What do your elf eyes see?" Phazyme Spidey Sense Topo Chico's Risque Logo Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode20

It's a schnodown with Jonas's half-brother Schnobik in the Grove Relache. Is blood thicker than water? Is blood thicker than... more blood? Dad References: What's he Building in There? People are People The Gold Watch Erotic Art in Pompeii (NSFW) Elf Porn (Super NSFW) "That's What She Said..." ... or "As the Girl Said to the Soldier." ELI5 Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode19

Our heroes journey to the mysterious Grove Relache, where the search for Schnobik -- or whatever he has become -- begins. New allies "join" the fight and new dangers present themselves in the heart of the woods. Dad References: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Lactation Consultants Tomorrow Relache Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode18

The dads discuss the traumatic events of episodes 16 and 17. For the full episode, join us on Patreon! Dad References: No Way Out The Fugitive "We're in the Endgame Now" Nell Matt Mercer's DM Screen Dungeon Dudes YT Farmville A Boy Named Sue Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus17-1

Filnyr, Abel and Jonas flee from one crime scene to another as signs are given, portents are read, and secrets are revealed! Dad References: Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em Natural Male Enhancement E Vampire Old Man Logan The Fugitive Blood Sugar Sex Magik Memento Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode17

It's the first episode of our new premium campaign, Mountain City Mayhem! Join Darbin, Milo, and Tarbuk as they try to make it in the big city of Monterre. Pulling jobs, cracking heads, and running grifts is all in a day's work for this crew that's usually trying to do right, even if it's on the wrong side of the law. Dad References: Margo Martindale Toughie Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Check Out the Art of Kurolines: Kurolines on Instagram Email at [email protected] Additional Credits: Music by the Dungeon Dads with performances by Amanda Watson, Jen Carr, Kiyomi Troemner, and Leah Haynie Additional music, sound effects, and ambiance obtained from: tabletopaudio.com vindsvept.bandcamp.com zapsplat.com Episode Page: dungeondads.com/MCM1

It's a bard, a blast, and a back alley brawl as our heroes face down a new threat. But whose side are they on, and is it the right side? No, really... I'm asking you. Dad References: Relache "R-r-random!" Borderlands 2: Scooter Ring of Fire "It's electrifying!" Summer Nights Penny Hardaway Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Get some Dungeon Dads Merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode16

Hot talk about episodes 14 and 15! Hornitos! We're launching a Patreon on 6/1! Texas lightning! All new premium campaign! Prince sing along! Don't miss this ep! Dad References: "For me, it was Tuesday." Slick Rick "Our list of allies grows thin." Dave Chapelle as Prince Complete works of Christina Rossetti Into the Woods (Reprise) Cream "Are we the baddies?" Where There's a Whip, There's a Way Check out this artist! SWATS For a Good Cause: Shelter in Play RPG Bundle Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus15-1 Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit

It's a real come to Geezus moment as our heroes return the unconscious jumper Sil Moonbrook to Geezus of the Orc Wars in fulfillment of their deal. If everything was as it seemed, though, it wouldn't be another episode of the Dungeon Dads podcast! Dad References Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes The story of the Dread Pirate Roberts Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode15

Jonas picks a fight with a child. Dad References The Little Rascals Smurfette "He's just a boy!" Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode14

In this episode, a metaphorical tornado of questions. Plus, a literal tornado! Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus13-2 Review us on Podchaser: podchaser.com/dungeondads

Level 5 is a big one... what new spells will John choose?!?!? Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus13-1 Review us on Podchaser: podchaser.com/dungeondads

The battle is over but who is left to pick up the pieces, both literal and metaphorical? It may be time for our heroes to decide whose side they're on. Dad References: Reddit picks worst 5e spells. Por que no los dos? Bust a deal, face the wheel. You get what you get. Good Morning Starshine ASCII Art Independence Day White House Explosion RAF Lakenheath Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode13 Review us on Podchaser: podchaser.com/dungeondads

Rella Splittoe guides our heroes to a midnight showdown with the Horunae brothers. Will the gang survive and rescue the mysterious Sil Moonbrook, or will the dastardly brothers add four more notches to their belts? Dad References: Festivus Pythagorean Theorem Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode12

Our heroes sit down for a hot cup of bula at the Waterdeep consulate. John almost quits the podcast... find out why! Dad References: Dikembe Mutombo (again) Trimming the Verge Blake Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode11

Our heroes finally make it to Lakeshire, home of the Brine's embassies and center of its ladybone production. Will they stay the course, or will big city life... alter them? Dad References Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Puppet Show Kanye West - Diamonds From Sierra Leone (Remix feat. Jay-Z) Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode10

It's a fight to the death against some bad hombres. You know what's worse than necromancers or slavers? Necroslavers! Dad References: Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket Hulk Stomp Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode9

The dads process their experiences from episode 8, argue about who had the hardest time painting minis, and shout out to some of our awesome fans. Dad References: "Anything Can Happen in the Woods..." Squidmar - "I wish I knew this before painting my first miniatures" Goobertown Hobbies - "FUNDAMENTALS!" Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus8-1

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Will our heroes stay the course or be tempted to dally with magical curiosities? Dad References: Goblin Market - Christina Rossetti In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida - Iron Butterfly His Dark Materials - Iorek's Armor The Wiz - Ease on Down the Road Ghostbusters - Crossing the Streams Keep Calm and Carry On Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode8

The dads debate rules of passive perception and challenge each other to a miniature painting contest. Peanut butter is discussed. Dad References: Justin's Peanut Butter 300: Shield Wall vs. Spin Moves Bring it On! Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus7-1

The gang must flee Gnome's Gap while fending off the dangers of the forest: mysterious enchantments, wild beasts, and... a log on the water. Dad References: Crikey! Baby Got Back Anaconda Lost in the Woods Hodor Snake (Calculator Game) Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode7

This bonus episode includes some in-depth discussion of D&D mechanics, as the Dads discuss the details of new skills, and why they're choosing certain spells and abilities for their characters at level 4. If you're just in this for the adventure, feel free to skip this episode and head straight to episode 7! Dad References: Wildcats Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus6-1

A journey to a mysterious purveyor of trickster magic at the center of an enchanted forest. What could go wrong? Dad References: Pizza Hut "You can call me Ray J." "What my special purpose is for." "Some people call me Maurice." Jabba the Hutt Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode6

A few shoutouts, a few questions, a few answers, and a lot of tangents. It's time for some real talk with the dads. Dad References: Mitch Hedberg - Corn on the Cob Home Alone - Les Incompétents Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG Munchkin Nerdarchy Coachella 2005 Some Podcasts We Like: Not Another DnD Podcast Venture Maidens You Meet in a Tavern Acquisitions Incorporated: The "C" Team Dungeons and Daddies Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus5-1

Filnyr, Jonas, and Abel are in a fight for their lives as battle erupts in the forest. Who lives and who dies may all come down to a roll of the dice. Dad References: I'm Still Standing Dick in a Box That scene in the Two Towers where the arrows go whoosh by Aragorn's head. Wrigley Field Up your butt Jobu. Fuck you Jobu! I do it myself. Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode5

Origin episode for Filnyr Omajyre. These prologue episodes, recorded before episode 1, are individual adventures with each of the party members that give some additional background and detail as to how they ended up at Fort H'Passe. This week it's a home invasion thriller as Filnyr greets unexpected visitors at the Neverwinter consulate. Will his natural diplomacy be enough to defuse the situation, or will he have to turn to powers that are more mysterious, more dangerous, more... foreign? Dad References: Game to Grow Epcot Center Stop! Hammer time. Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus4-1

The Goodshower Spearmen are given a mission of critical importance to the Hark army, but the mysterious sentient blade Paresseux Incompetent has another agenda. As the bond between Filnyr and Paresseux grows, the rest of the squad is put in mortal danger... but to whose end? Dad References: Shot Towers of the 1800s Sabre! We're Not Worthy! You Can Do It! Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode4

Time to level up to 3! What new spells and abilities will the dads choose? Listen and find out... if you dare. This bonus episode includes some in-depth discussion of D&D mechanics, so if you're just in this for the adventure, feel free to skip this episode and head straight to episode 4! Dad References: Hold Me Now Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus3-2

Origin episode for Abel Rockbrother. These prologue episodes, recorded before episode 1, are individual adventures with each of the party members that give some additional background and detail as to how they ended up at Fort H'Passe. In this gripping tale, Abel Rockbrother's lonely life as the hermit of Red Cloud Mountain is disrupted when a dwarf war party comes a knockin'. Will Abel refuse the call to adventure? He's sure going to try. Dad References: Where There's a Whip, There's a Way Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus3-1

The gang deals with the aftermath of their attempt at espionage. Tensions mount both within and without the group as a new threat is revealed and the past comes back to haunt more than one hero. Who knew soldiering could be so complicated? Dad References: Earmuffs Donald Rumsfeld Second Breakfast Who's On First? Jesus Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode3

This bonus episode is for anyone who has been enjoying the podcast but finds the entire concept of Dungeons and Dragons a bit mystifying. Sam and Thom explain some basic DnD concepts, discuss why we chose this format in the first place, and keep the whole thing right around 20 minutes. Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus2-2

Origin episode for Jonas Silverwind. These prologue episodes, recorded before episode 1, are individual adventures with each of the party members that give some additional background and detail as to how they ended up at Fort H'Passe. In this thrilling origin story, Jonas Silverwind embarks on a journey to reclaim his honor in the eyes of his noble family. Things go horribly wrong, or perhaps... horribly right? Either way, Mr. Percy had better run. Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus2-1

Jonas, Filnyr, and Abel are given the task of rooting out the mysterious "Hank," the enemy agent convincing new recruits to desert. It's a counter-espionage extravaganza as Jonas spies a new business opportunity, and the gang has trouble telling lies from the truth, not because they're in too deep, but because they're just not very good at this. Dad References: Zabar's "I was born a poor black child." (The Jerk) Dikembe Mutombo Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode2

In addition to the guys' thoughts on their first episode, this bonus episode includes some in-depth discussion of D&D mechanics, as the Dads discuss the details of new skills, and why they're choosing certain spells and abilities for their characters. So if you're just in this for the adventure, feel free to skip this episode and head straight to episode 2! Dad References: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus1-2

Listen as each Dad tries to find the best method to roll character stats when faced with Thom's novel approach. They also choose classes, races, and talk through their decisions and intentions for their characters. If you're just in this for the adventure, feel free to skip this episode and head straight to episode 2! To jump to a specific character, see their starting times in this episode below: Sam creates Abel - 0:00:58 Tim creates Filnyr - 0:29:52 John creates Ionas - 0:53:58 Dad References: Unforgiven Gran Torino Logen Ninefingers (the books of Joe Abercrombie) "Just when I thought I was out..." (Godfather Part III) The Jonas Brothers Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/bonus1-1

Jonas (John), Filnyr (Tim), and Abel (Sam) sign up -- for various reasons -- to be new recruits in the army of King Robert Hark. They each come in with different expectations, but it's safe to say that no one is getting what they signed up for. When the spears are raised and the arrows fly, will they learn to work together to survive, or will this be the shortest podcast series ever recorded? Find out in the first episode of Dungeon Dads! Dad References: Holly Hunter Ladyhawke Weekend at Bernie's Office Space Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/dungeondads Check out our sweet merch: Dungeon Dads Store on TeePublic Join the Conversation: On Facebook On Twitter On Reddit Episode Page: dungeondads.com/episode1