Double Love

Oh no, A.J. is leaving town for four whole days! Of course Jessica can't be expected to keep it in her pants for that long, so she picks up a random bloke on the beach and embarks on a weekend of romance. But when she tells hunky Christopher her boyfriend is coming home, he starts bombarding her with phone calls and threatening to reveal all. If AJ finds out about her betrayal, Jess will be denied the chance to be queen of yet another dance! Yes, after a string of dull books about characters no one cares about, we're back in classic Sweet Valley territory. Hurrah! Meanwhile Liz takes her doormat ways to dangerous new levels, everyone's favourite flat-faced bitch is on top form, and we reveal the Sweet Valley equivalent of big d**k energy. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's been a long time since we last discussed the strange and terrifying world of SVH, but we're BACK! With an extra kidney, a special post-lockdown theme tune and a book all about....Kristin Thompson? Yes, it's the ultimate anticlimax as we return to Sweet Valley with a book about a randomer who is so obsessed with tennis she's never even heard of 1BRUCE1. Will joining Elizabeth and Enid's Big Sisters problem help her to live a normal life? Meh, who cares. Meanwhile there's so little of the Wakefields in this book we almost (but not quite) find ourselves wishing for more, and a much-missed character makes an all-too-brief return. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Christmas, and you know what that means - it's time to go back in time to meet the ancestors of everyone's favourite douchebag, 1BRUCE1 himself! And it turns out that some of his relatives are more interesting than anyone at Sweet Valley High. We've got runaway aristocrats (of course)! We've got actresses! We've got...underground railroad heroes?! Believe it or not, they don't handle that too badly. And forget about OTG, this Christmas it's all about the RTC - rootin' tootin' cowboys! Also, Anna gets very, very angry about the lack of cans - or rather, the lack of the Patman canning factory. Merry Christmas, everyone! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Roll up, roll up, it's our very first live show - and we're joined by a very special guest for the first time! Bestselling author Louise O'Neill is here to discuss a book in which Liz finally reaches the limit of her natural doormattery and Jess behaves particularly selfishly in the run up to Sweet Valley's annual (apparently) Winter Carnival. Don't get too excited about the carnival, by the way, because it only takes up like, ten pages of the whole book. On the plus side, a familiar face returns - Mr Collins is back! Oh yeah, and so is Todd, whose visit causes tension. Load up with a bag of cans - as we and our audience did - and enjoy! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forget gambling and Liz's boarding school dreams - THIS has to be the most boring book in Sweet Valley history. And not just because it's all about John Pfeiffer (boo!). He's in love with Jennifer Mitchell, but she's in love with Rick Andover, who is a would-be rock star all of a sudden. We don't care about either of them, but Liz does, because as usual she just can't help sticking her nose into other people's business. Meanwhile Jessica is back to her old manipulative ways - get out while you can, A.J.! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anna has previously claimed that this, along with the Liz in Switzerland book, is the most boring Sweet Valley title of all time, but we were pleasantly surprised when we got into the infamous story of Ronnie Edwards becoming a gambler. And that has a lot to do with the book's villains, a bookie named Big Al (!) and his team of car-pooling goons! Get ready for a lot of OTG talk as Liz gets bitchy, Jeffrey finds himself torn between his love of football and his reluctance to let Ronnie get beaten to death, Jess has dreams of fashion stardom and we discover just how little the ghostwriter knows about soccer. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Halloween! And that means a book that's special in more ways than one. Yes, you asked for it and we have delivered - it's super thriller Murder in Paradise! It's got a mysterious luxury spa! It's got a supervillain with a wandering accent who makes ludicrous speeches! It's got Liz and Jess cheating on their boyfriends with a frankly alarming lack of guilt! It's got hypnosis and brainwashing and a secret lab! It's got an actual murder! It is quite simply one of the greatest books of all time. You're welcome, listeners. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a first for Sweet Valley as a person of colour takes centre stage (literally). So of course the book has to be all about "Being Chinese-American", as Jade Wu struggles to balance her love for her family with her dreams of dance stardom and her budding romance with hardworking over-sharer David Prentiss, who should really read Edward Said's Orientalism. Meanwhile, the twins try to show mid-life-crisis Ned (who is a year younger than Anna) that it's okay to be old. He even goes to a gig! You can follow Double Love on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Watch out Jessica - you've got a rival for AJ's affections and, in keeping with the Sweet Valley motto, she won't take no for an answer! But Jessica can't beat sexy Pamela Janson at her own game, because she's still pretending to be a serious scholar and keeps banging on about nuclear war. Luckily she's got Lila - in fine form - on her side. If that wasn't exciting enough, there's also a fashion show! But sadly no Mr Collins. Where are you, Roger? You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a first for the podcast - a Sweet Valley book neither of us have read before now! And it was worth the wait, as we find out what happens when the Sweet Valley girls discover slam books, a whole new way to be gossipy bitchy wagons. Meanwhile Jess is actually endearing as she develops a serious crush on uptight judgy new guy AJ, and there's trouble for Liz when Jeffrey starts spending time with everyone's favourite - and only - Sweet Valley bohemian Olivia. If only Mr Collins was there to enjoy the drama! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are outraged by the cover of this week's book, in which the depiction of Bruce is not the pouting John Barrowman we know and love to hate! Who is this imposter?! Whoever he is, he's smooth talking Julie Porter, and tormenting her friend Josh, who is determined to get into the Sweet Valley High fraternity. Meanwhile Jess's dramatic career takes a terpsichorean turn, Jeffrey shows his own dancing skills and we discover that Sweet Valley parties are a lot more edgy than we might have expected - sex alcove, anyone? You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's decision time for Robin Wilson as she has to choose between going early to college amid the bright lights of New York City or staying in Sweet Valley and going out with George Warren. Yes, we wouldn't find it difficult either, but strangely Robin really loves the town full of judgemental arseholes where she was mercilessly bullied. Meanwhile Jess falls for a music student, Liz becomes obsessed with learning the recorder, and we can't stop sniggering about fingering positions. For the recorder! Get your minds out of the gutter! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's better than two perfect blonde sixteen year olds with blue green eyes? If Sweet Valley High is to be believed the answer is "three of them". Yes, the twins' identical cousin Kelly has come to town for two whole months and they're only delighted. But Kelly has some serious (and we mean serious) daddy issues. Not only does she idolise her cheating, selfish father, but she's now besotted with cheating, selfish Kirk! Luckily there's the greatest fancy dress party in Sweet Valley history to lighten the mood. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's summer time! And where better to spend it than on a Californian beach? Not the sands of Sweet Valley, though, because Lila, Jess and Liz are heading to Malibu, where they have been employed via a worryingly casual childcare agency to work as "mother's helpers". You might need some mother's little helpers in the Rolling Stones sense (just keep Enid away from them) to get through all the DRAMA in this book, as Jess finds herself changing nappies, Lila finds a man who isn't quite what she was expecting and Liz finds romance with an older boy who is not all he seems. And if you've been missing the Old Timey Gangster Talk, today is your lucky, lucky day - just wait until you meet Frankie La Salle... You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mystery, Cara! Mystery!" It's Jessica's new mantra, but the biggest mystery in this episode is how Abbie Richardson managed to be completely invisible to her classmates during the two years she was going out with a boy from Palisades. Are they physically incapable of seeing anyone who dares to date outside their school? Anyway, she's single now and her attempts to make friends with the Sweet Valley gang backfire when she and Steven get a little too close for comfort. Meanwhile Cara creates totally pointless drama, Tricia comes back from the dead (or does she) and Abbie dazzles Mr Collins (sadly in an off-screen role) with some frankly mediocre newspaper cartoons. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's what we've all been waiting for - a book about Enid Rollins and her grandma! And it's just as thrilling as that sounds, ie not at all. Join us as we try and sadly fail to have sympathy for an elderly grieving widow who is, it must be sad, a massive pain in the hole who is horrible to everyone. Plus Liz turns documentarian as she makes a film about the only thing that ever inspires her creativity - Sweet Valley itself. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetworkand @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You wouldn't think you could write a whole book about racism without ever using the word "racism" but "Kate William" proves us wrong in this tale of forbidden love - forbidden by Sandy Bacon's horrible parents, that is. Yes, WASP Sandy has fallen in love with Mexican Manuel, and is willing to do some pretty awful things to keep it a secret from her parents. Manuel deserves better! Meanwhile, Jess is determined to surprise Lila and shows a surprising knowledge of trade union history. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How does Sweet Valley deal with the tragic death of saintly Regina Morrow? Why, by turning on the girl whose party she died at and making her life a living hell, of course! Poor Molly Hecht is turned into an outcast by a school population who are somehow totally fine with Amy and Bruce. Yes, we get very annoyed about this. Meanwhile Liz is actually realistically torn between grief and her desire to meddle, Mr Collins gives good advice, and Jess reminds us what a massive hypocrite she is. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's finally here. The one you've all been waiting for. The one that put you off cocaine for life (we hope). Yes, we are gathered together today to celebrate the life and times of the beautiful and saintly Regina Morrow who, when Bruce reverts to his old 1BRUCE1 self and gets off with shameless Amy Sutton, turns to tormented outsider Justin Belson and ends up doing two lines of coke at a party which...well, you know the rest. Don your mourning attire as we, like Regina, head to Kelly's (turns out you can get there without being hijacked!) and raise a glass to the second most perfect girl to ever grace Sweet Valley with her presence. The ending is so emotional we can't even take the piss out of it! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Penny Ayala is feeling left out. She's smart and cool but she gets shy around boys and never had a boyfriend, which as you can imagine makes socialising difficult in the bizarre world of Sweet Valley. The solution? Challenging the weird heteronormative system that dictates no one can leave the house without a date, of course! Oh wait, we're in Sweet Valley, so instead she puts a personal ad in the Oracle to meet a boy and ends up getting catfished. Warning: Jessica's fatphobia gets ugly in this one. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh god. It's the one where Elizabeth becomes obsessed with Switzerland. And we mean seriously, unhealthily obsessed - like, she literally talks about nothing else throughout this book. She's so focused on forcing her friends to look at library books about the Alps that she doesn't even get involved when Winston faces a serious moral dilemma. You know things are bad when Liz can't be bothered to do some meddling. All this and an adorable old man, a snooty interviewer and further proof that Liz and her boyfriends have the same taste in clothes and jewellery as 80 year old retirees and/or nuns. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can go your own way, but do listen to this episode, in which we discuss the best Sweet Valley book to share a name with a classic Fleetwood Mac album. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, but do think about Susan Stewart, the mysterious beauty who is apparently incredibly popular despite never having been mentioned before! Join us as we discuss the incredible naivity of the Sweet Valley students, and ask why they constantly assume random people are secretly aristocratic millionaires. Warning: this book actually acknowledges the existence of SEX. Yes, we were as surprised as you are. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Move over, Nicholas Morrow and Emily Meyer's dad - there's a new contender for the crown of Worst Man in Sweet Valley! And that man is Peter de Haven, self-obsessed blowhard and supposed science genius. He's the inexplicable object of former high school drop out Johanna Porter's obsession (yes, we've reached the "randomer" period of the SV books, when they had to just start inventing characters to write books about). Johanna's experience at SVH is further proof Mr Hanlon was right about the Sweet Valley education system. Spoiler alert: this book actually has a really positive message and we kind of loved it! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We thought we knew just how annoying Elizabeth Wakefield was, but it turns out we hadn't seen the true depths of her awfulness until this book, where we see Liz at her most judgemental AND hypocritcal. Luckily a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on, and that hero is fashion genius and decent human being Heather. Hooray! Meanwhile Jess is convinced that she'll soon be a millionaire - yes, it's the Tofu Glo subplot! Warning: we literally become speechless with outrage in this episode. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

OMG you guys, Maria and Michael are engaged! You know, Maria who's just been a background player for the last 37 books and Michael who has never been mentioned before at all? Yeah, we can't say we were too excited either, but everyone in Sweet Valley is losing their shit about it. Meanwhile, we lose our shit at how completely terrible Michael is. Also, how did it take Francine and her team this long to do a book called Forbidden Love? You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, Dana. Dana, Dana, Dana. We had such high hopes for you in this book, the first to feature our favourite classic-movie-loving, outrageous-fashion-wearing rock goddess in a starring role. And yet you let us down! Because when your poor cousin Sally moves in with you, after spending years in the care system, you kind of act like a dick! Luckily Jess and Liz are at hand to save the day with an adorable fluffy B-story - we mean puppy. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may think you are ready for the outfits in this book, but believe us, you are not. Yes, it's time to meet the New Jessica, or should we say Jessa Fields, as Jessica has a makeover and adopts a whole new persona to go with her glamorous new "European" look! Everyone loves it - apart from Liz, the big sap. Grab a copy of Paris Match and join us as we rant about Liz's contrived problems, discover a Sweet Valley shop with a realistic name and come up with an appropriate new slogan for our favourite California town. Oh, and did we mention the outfits? You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's finally here - the story of the many flat-faced bitches who made Lila Fowler the glorious diva we know and love! History experts look away now, as we head back to the French Revolution to meet Lila's aristocratic French ancestors and wonder why the hell she isn't constantly boasting about all these poshos. This book has it all - rural guillotines, cross-dressing bohemians, multiple secret marriages, and family feuds. And we loved it! Hop into your lime-green triumph and enjoy... You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the most wonderful time of the year in the most wonderful place on earth (at least that's what all the locals think)! But Liz's dreams of a perfect Christmas - including a visit from Todd - are shattered when Suzanne Devlin, last seen wreaking havoc in Too Good To Be True insists on coming to stay for an entire fortnight. Not even the most ridiculous, elaborate Secret Santa scheme ever (what were you thinking, Mr Collins?) can make up for this nightmare before Christmas. The jingle-bells return to the studio as we discuss this festive fiasco. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Wakefield versus Wakefield when the twins become rival matchmakers in a book that turned out to be WAY more entertaining than we expected. Will Liz be able to unite Enid with hunky (but increasingly problematic) new boy Jeffrey French or will Jess manage to fix him up with Lila? Spoiler:the answer to both questions is no! Meanwhile the twins' cousin shows up to make a show of Jessica, questions are raised about the lack of public spending in Sweet Valley, and there's a very special charity auction that no one - least of all us - will ever forget. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sandy Bacon is jealous of her perfect best friend Jean, and not just because Jean has a name that doesn't sound like a disaster at a beach picnic. Will Sandra successfully sabotage Jean's attempts to join Sweet Valley's stupid sorority? Meanwhile Steven Wakefield decides he's dropping out of college to sail the world working on a cruise ship. Yes, really. Join us as we return to the Tennis Shop to discuss all of the above plus Sandra's frankly amazing PBA jacket. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The classic sitcom was wrong - three's definitely not company, as poor old Enid finds out when Elizabeth's childhood best friend Amy Sutton moves back to town. Meanwhile Jessica uses her new agony aunt powers for evil, Lila displays a frankly worrying obsession with her hunky cousin, and a fancy dress party inspires some amazing - and amazingly boring - ensembles. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's finally here - the greatest ever title and the best ever cover in the Sweet Valley canon. This books has got Elizabeth at her most patronising. It's got musical loner Lynne Henry writing a masterpiece and embracing the jumpsuit life. It's got Guy Chesney being way more of a dick than we remembered. And it's got Jessica...in a rocking chair? All this and a musical surprise! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will Suzanne succeed in changing Ken? He likes pizza and rock and roll, she likes fancy food and classic music, and according to the rigid rules of Sweet Valley you can't possibly like both, so you know things are going to go wrong. Especially when the entire population are losing their shit over the town's centennial celebrations. Will Ken be inspired by the literary genius of Elizabeth Wakefield? Will Jessica make a mess of the Centennial picnic? And is Suzanne's dad right about SVH's obsession with sports? We discuss it all. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's another exclamation mark title! You know what means - drama, excitement and batshit insanity. And Hostage! doesn't disappoint, as Regina is kidnapped, her parents are held captive in the most casual kidnapper's lair ever, and Bruce, Nicholas and the twins concoct a rescue plan that's so stupid and impractical we get totally confused. Also, where's Roger? You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Move over Nicholas Morrow - Emily's dad Ron has taken your throne as the Worst Man in Sweet Valley. He's married to Evil Karen (not to be confused with our Good Karyn) and they're making poor Emily's life a misery. Meanwhile Liz discovers her true calling as a nosy meddler, Jess gets inexplicably excited by a visit from her annoying grandparents, and Alice is in despair. We know how you feel, Alice. We're reeling from the lack of outfits in this one. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 26 but book 24 so prepare for us to get increasingly confused at the beginning of each ep from now on. This week it's all about Steven, who suddenly fancies Cara now that she's all miserable. Ugh. But will Betsy let him move on? Spoiler alert: not until the end of the book. Elsewhere Elizabeth is entranced by a mysterious Todd lookalike, Jessica's dreams of fame (yeah, she's remembered she wants to be an actress) lead her to spend a lot of time with Winston, and we discuss the best way to ask someone out on a date. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you believe it's been a whole year since we took to the podcasting airwaves? It's been a wild ride, full of onion dip, outrage and of course lots of Old Timey Gangster talk. In this special birthday episode, we discuss what we and you, our listeners, have learned from Sweet Valley over the last twelve months - and Karyn introduces Anna to the wonders of the Sweet Valley boardgame. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone - Todd is leaving Sweet Valley! Liz is a mess (understandably, in fairness), Nicholas is even creepier than usual (which is saying something) and Jess embarks on one of her best ever schemes, attempting to fix Steven up with an "old woman" who is basically the same age as Anna. Oh, and we're reminded yet again that you can't even cross the road in Sweet Valley without a date. Don't blame us, we don't make the rules. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Following the last episode's bombshell revelation that we were feeling sorry for Jessica, we have another shock for you all this week: it took 22 books to get here, but we're finally reached a Sweet Valley tale with a genuinely healthy message. AND it features a person of colour! I KNOW! Join us in a rousing chorus of "Gee, Officer Krupke" as we head to the Wakefield's free gaff to discuss American washing machines, DeeDee's many epiphanies and Dana's general awesomeness. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Something very peculiar happens in this episode. Something that disturbs us both. We actually - can it be true? - FEEL SORRY FOR JESSICA. Poor old Jess (I can't believe I'm typing these words) feels so underappreciated by her awful family that she falls for the extremely dubious charms of sensitive bad boy Nicky. Meanwhile, Ned and Liz are basically competing to see who can be most unethical, and we learn that the Sweet Valley News will employ children as family court reporters. Can anyone blame Jessica for being tempted to run away from it all? We certainly were... You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's been a while since our last episode because we were off, you know, changing Ireland for the better. But now we're back, back, BACK, and we've got another title with an exclamation mark! That can only mean one thing: DRAMA. And boy, does this episode deliver, as Enid is paralysed in a plane crash and George feels too guilty to dump her as planned. Meanwhile, Robin gains weight (GASP!), Jess becomes obsessed with a sexy French chef (ooh la la), Mr Collins allows Liz to use his child in a very irresponsible scheme and Lila inexplicably keeps wearing silk blouses to a cookery class. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you met a random construction worker who wore deck shoes, would you assume he was secretly a prince? No, you wouldn't, because you don't live in Sweet Valley, where everyone is a deluded fantasist! This week we grab our popcorn and enjoy the extreme drama and crazy scheming as Jessica Wakefield faces off against Lila Fowler in a battle for the heart of the mysterious Jack. Is he really a prince? (No) Will Jessica win his heart? (Also no) And will Liz discover the identity of the Oracle's mysterious photographer? (Who cares) Plus! The Clam Special returns, and Ken is suddenly really into windsurfing! This one is so exciting we forgot to describe the cover until the very end. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

**EPISODE 19: HEAD OVER HEELS** Jump into 1BRUCE1 and fasten your seatbelts because it's going to be a bumpy ride through this bona fide Sweet Valley masterpiece! We've got Bruce and Regina in melodramatic love, a ridiculous carnival run by children, Todd and Liz being even more buffoonish than usual, Jessica failing to notice a huge flaw in her latest scheme, and some very incoherent stuff about Skye Morrow's psychosomatic headaches. All this and Bruce in tiny shorts! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is Caroline pretending that she has a long-distance love? Well, she's basically been driven to it by the SVH wankers, who think anyone without a boyfriend is worthless. Meanwhile Liz and Jess are shaken when they're told that - gasp! - the Wakefields might have to say goodbye to their Spanish tiled kitchen and leave Sweet Valley forever! Join us in one of Sweet Valley's ten million Italian restaurants as we ponder how the Wakefields would fare in a big city where no one worships them, unpick Caroline's tangled web of lies, and give out about her mean big sister. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and if you like the show, please rate and review and then spread the word down at The Dairi Burger to fellow SVH fans! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork & @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do so many of the Sweet Valley shops have such ridiculously generic names (not you, Foxy Mama's, we love you)? That's just one of the many questions we ask in this week's episode, in which Roger goes from rags to (spoiler alert) riches. Can Olivia and her dangerously floaty outfits fit in with Roger's new world? Is there anything Jessica won't do to get a rich boyfriend? And why the hell is Todd so interested in Regina's comings and goings? We attempt to find answers. Also, the lime green Triumph makes its debut! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Sweet Valley, where the town "bad girl" dresses like a nun. Literally - she has both the hair and clothes of Anna's old school principal. Join us as we marvel at the depths of Jess's sociopathy, discuss Winston 'Starch King' Egbert's hypocrisy, and ponder the Sweet Valley drinking scene. Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and if you like the show, please rate and review and then spread the word down at The Dairi Burger to fellow SVH fans! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork & @ThisHeadStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hate Nicholas Morrow. No, we really, really hate him. Find out why in our new episode, in which Nicholas is a creepy harasser, Liz is pressurised into making a promise she doesn't want to keep, Jess is even more deluded than usual and we visit the fanciest restaurant in the world. Or at least California. Oh, and we discuss an amazing addition to the Sweet Valley universe. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the HeadStuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's an exclamation mark right there in the title so you KNOW this one is going to be exciting. And it is! Jessica falls in love at first sight, Max Dellon of the Droids is falsely accused and Carl the Orderly KIDNAPS ELIZABETH. All that and the easiest English exam ever. Plus! We finally meet Regina Morrow. Don't get too attached to her, folks, because she's only going to be around for 26 more books. So much drama! You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get your hankies ready, everyone, this is a tearjerker. Well, sort of. Maybe. Join us as we head to the wrong side of the tracks (the roads are uneven!) with Steven Wakefield to discuss why dumping someone rather than telling them you're dying is never a good idea, and find out what happens when Liz and Jess become candy stripers and Liz joins forces with a TV star to plot a revenge plan that's ill-judged even by Sweet Valley standards. You can follow us on Twitter at @svhpodcast and follow the Headstuff Podcast Network on @HSPodnetwork and @ThisHeadstuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices