Dear Old Dads

The dads gather to discuss the unexpected toxic masculinity behind much of the self-improvement sold toward men these days. Why are these activities so... solo? Do they have to be? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

(apologies for the late post, the Smiths had a travel nightmare!) We've got a three bears situation over here today! Are parents responsible for addressing their kids' "weird" attitudes and behavior? And if so, how do we distinguish between what might be "weird" but flexible and what traits may be an innate facet of the person? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

A listener writes in looking for advice on approaching their relationship with a parent when the parent won't accept them for who they are. After exploring if the listener could have offered more in helping their parent understand, the dads reflect on a tough question - how do we know when it's time to let go of relationships that are hurting us? Then, in the patron-only story, Eli shares a heartwarming and grateful observation. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

The dads receive a question from a listener who has gone through a divorce and is ready to jump back into the dating scene, but they don't know what to do, where to turn, or maybe even...how to flirt. Are you Team Coffee or Team Dinner Date? Then, ONLY patrons get to hear a funny Lydia story about dating and the apps (Lydia approves its inclusion). Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

Tom needs some more "old man yells at clouds" time to go off about the first few days of school for his kids. The dads get into it and talk school apps, communication, miscommunication, and various other logistics that seem to be purposely set up to be more complicated than they have to be. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

Tom kicks the show off with a pretty major sleep update that no one saw coming! Then, the dads chat about a parenting style that has been dubbed "F*** Around and Find Out" (FAFO) parenting. What makes this style unique, or is this just a rebranding of another approach? What kind of crazy hot take is Eli going to come in with this time? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

The dads reflect on insecurity in relationships through their formative years and the impact it has had on future romantic relationships, friendships, and others. How do you navigate relationships in a healthy way, and break those internal expectations, if you grew up always wondering if your parents were mad at you, or if they'll be there to support you when you've made a mistake? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

Tom's got a kid kunundrum to talk about. What if our kids want to hang out with their older sibling's friend group? Is that totally cool or just an opportunity for trouble?

This episode has two of the wildest takes two of the Dads have ever heard from the third. About what, you ask? You may have seen a viral "libido equation" make its rounds on the internet, explaining how new moms might evaluate if they're up for engaging in sexual activities with their partner. The dudes break it all down, and I really don't want to say much else and potentially spoil any piece of this. Here we go! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

After a discussion about simulation theory for some reason, Tom talks about having listened to a podcast about people falling in love with AI bots. What's the deal there? Is that a real relationship? Is the AI coming for our kids? Then for patrons only, instead of a parenting story, the dads discuss whether or not having an AI girlfriend would be cheating.

Buckle up and secure those tray tables in the upright and locked position. We get the Plane-ageddon scoop from Eli to kick off today's episode, and then the dads dig into an email from a listener struggling with balancing their mental health treatment and showing up as a parent in the way they expect. And then, how can we embrace the understanding that parenting will always inherently be imperfect and alleviate the guilt we carry when we aren't the kind of parent we've decided we should be? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

After an extended introduction exploring at what age kids should be allowed unsupervised time in crowded locations and some of the tools that might help ease parent anxiety in those scenarios, the dads shift focus to discuss the act of location sharing with significant others. Is there ever a reason to not do that? I mean, that isn't cheating? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

On this episode, the dads tackle a complicated listener quandary...so complicated in fact that Thomas can't keep the people or their relationships straight. What do we owe our parents and other adults in our lives to help them navigate challenging situations with our brothers and sisters? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

Hurry! You don't want to be the only dad on the block without our Kevlar-coated tongs for barbecue season! Stick those babies in your military-grade holster and be the ULTIMATE Man of the Grill. Available only in onyx black or camo. The dads discuss the tactical/survivalist goods industry. How are they marketed and, more importantly, does it work on any of them? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

WELL LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP TO WORK. The dads take on a discussion about accountability and Eli has a TikTok video of a way to frame how we decide whether or not someone should be accountable for the actions they've done that hurt us. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website atcreatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Tom continues to be a failure as a podcast host and father, so the non-monogamous dads of the group decided it was the perfect time to answer a couple of listener questions about polyamory. And it wouldn't be a proper poly episode without taking this Couple to a Throuple: Lydia's here, too! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Two of the three dads are here - quick, make a guess before you press play! They're joined by a guest for some podcast potpourri: some current kid challenges, Father's Day, and an irritating character that has taken over one of the households. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Thomas stumbled on an article called "The Missing Missing Reasons." It explores Estranged Parents online forums and points out a strikingly consistent theme, and it is as hilarious as it is infuriating. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

The school year is officially over, but will the Dads Have A Great Summer? Is this a Three Bears (TM) situation? Then, in the story JUST FOR PATRONS, Eli recounts Max's absolutely adorable preschool graduation ceremony. Will there be a 4-year old valedictorian who isn't afraid of calling out racial injustice like at Finn's high school graduation? How far away did Eli have to park? Only patrons can seek these answers. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

We've got a very focused topic today because our dear Tom has some huge non-neck related news to share! It's like the 2nd or 3rd good news Tom has ever had! Then in the patron only story, Eli shares an emotional story about Max's birthday party. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Oh boy, this is a big and important conversation all sparked by a listener email. That's right - you can launch incredible conversations like this one by sending your questions to our email (see below)! Today, the dads talk joy/lack of joy in parenting, and understanding that "just" loving our kids is not usually enough to fix when our kids go through something tough. Lots of real talk in this one; don't miss it! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Another day, another wild animal that men think they can beat up. The dads discuss the latest trending animal fight - man v. gorilla...and spend a lot of time making monkey noises. Be sure and stay to hear all of those outtakes at the end! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Attention all poopy pants boys, it was Mother's Day somewhat recently and the dads have stories to tell. Also Eli had another dad snuggle trip but this time it was more intimate. Maybe too intimate.

We all know Tom is old as shit. But did we know just how old? No. He's so old we're not sure they have a generation name for him. How does the generation we were born into shape our lives and perceptions?

A viral tweet made its way into the Dads Facebook group, so the dudes bring it onto the show to discuss. How hard is it to be a boy these days, and are folks like Andrew Tate successful just because they're swooping in to offer a different message than "boys are bad"? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

The dads answer a listener email - what should you do if your kid's friends have a YouTube channel and you're worried they might put your kid in some of their videos? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website atcreatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

The dads discuss dieting with or without your partner. Is it ok to eat bad crap in front of them? Also GLP-1s. Oh also sorry this was late, the Smith household got COVID and it suuuuuucks Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Thomas has returned from a family "vacation" to New York City, which was simultaneously wonderful and insane. Also, Eli aka Mary Poppins aka Mrs. Doubtfire aka Pilsbury Doughboy (???) watched ALL of the Smith children one night and has stories to share. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

A shocking Humans of New York profile sparked today's episode. Don't want to say much more and spoil it. Each sentence was more insane than the last. These people walk among us and, indeed, outnumber us. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

All of the dads are back to chat about a concept called loyalty testers, what that means for the relationships that are being "tested", and what it says about the partner that employs the tester, the partner that is being tested, and the individual that does the testing. There's apparently an entire industry around this really terrible idea. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

We're a dad down this episode, but that doesn't stop us from having a really thoughtful discussion sparked by a listener email. The dad duo touch on learning to parent better than how they were parented, and share vulnerabilities about how they still might be messing up. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

The dads (yes, all of them - Eli FINALLY got his act together to join for an episode) got an interesting listener email about representation in media, and how it has come a long way but also has far to go. They discuss the successes and missteps in specific shows, and discover some surprising media consumption facts about several of the hosts! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon! This content is CAN credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm on their hotline at (617) 249-4255, or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org.

Eli is out this week, but the Toms discuss a clip from Jordan Peterson with John Stossel, opining on the importance of men being...dangerous?! What in the world is he talking about?! Stossel should just stick with the mustaches. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

The dads tackle a couple of listener questions about sharing bad or weird behavior of a loved one's partner, and managing taking care of yourself and your relationship while being full-time parents and full-time employees with barely enough hours leftover in the day to sleep. But first - some ranting about Elon Musk and how much he SUCKS. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Tom brings a story from someone at work with adult children who...stilly really rely on their parents. The dads discuss their upbringing in this respect, and how they're approaching that support structure - housing, finances, etc. - with their kiddos. But first! A vasectomy update! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

After probably the WILDEST intro in Dear Old Dads' history, the dudes answer a listener email about recreational drug usage after becoming a dad, and provide advice to another listener wanting to provide for their partner more financial and social independence. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Content Note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault and issues of consent in intimate experiences. Thomas's friend recently had a "not cash money" experience with a date, and the dads discuss consent when someone changes their mind over the course of the evening, the societal failure to support vulnerability when reflecting on your own missteps in those "gray" situations, and whether or not it's tough to evaluate enthusiasm with a potential intimate partner. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

We've got an Am I the Asshole (AITH) post this week that made the dads (and the whole internet) laugh a hearty chuckle. It's more like a This Guy Is The Asshole (TGITA). But then, two of the dads are revealed to be poopy pantses. Only one dad's pants are clean. But whose? Find out. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

We got a listener email that Eli wants Tom to read us on the air for the first time. There's a detail in it that completely isn't the point, but is absolutely the point. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Phoebe had her first sleepover. The dads talk about that, what their rules are around sleepovers, and at what age they let their kids go on them. Spoiler: for Tom it's the age of 93! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Content Note: This episode includes some discussion of the treatment of marginalized communities under the Trump administration. After reading a post from Reddit, the dads dive into a deep discussion on how men can change men's minds (and if we should even bother) regarding masculinity, the patriarchy, feminism, and politics. Have we already lost to the red-pilled man-o-sphere, or can we still reach people? I think we might have a three bears situation on our hands! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

The dads do their best to help a listener with a tough marriage/parenting problem. Their partner behaves terribly both with them and with the kids, but blames it on self-diagnosed mental health issues. Where is the line between accommodating and being taken advantage of? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddadsFor comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Part 2 of 2. The Dads take on the rest of Justin Baldoni's TED Talk. This takes some WILD turns, and you're going to want to listen for Eli's mental breakdown. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Part 1 of 2. Now that he has been outed as a crap and a fake feminist, we wanted to watch Justin Baldoni's TED Talk from 2017 out of morbid curiosity and/or to see if maybe he had made any good points. So was this foreseeable? How would we have looked at this TED talk at the time, not knowing anything about him? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Eli shares TikTok contraband to kick off a discussion on gentle parenting's applicability beyond childhood, and the balance between what Eli refers to as the "musts" and the "oughts". Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Due to a clerical error, the dads recorded a normal episode instead of a monthly bonus. So... everyone gets the bonus!!! It is brought to you by a listicle from Upworthy. The dads go through the 17-item list of Advice that Teens (allegedly) Aren't Ready to Hear. In the patron-only bonus, Eli recounts a truly insane encounter in his neighborhood. Like for real, you cannot miss this one. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Recently, disturbing allegations of abuse by Neil Gaiman were reported on by Vulture. The dudes discuss the issues involved, from kink and the porn industry to relationships with fans to scientology...? In our bonus story (exclusively for patrons!), Eli takes us through an experience he had with that is AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY. You won't want to miss it! Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

The dads gather to chat about expectations of men in potentially dangerous situations, and whether or not it reflects on your "manliness" if you leave the conflict to your girlfriend to handle. The dads agree that it makes you a bad partner and person, but does it mean you're less of a man too? Also, patrons hear some breaking news that is freaking the guys out a bit. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected]

After some talk about playing the lottery, the dads discuss marrying for looks and marrying for money. Also, is Tom capable of dying? Thomas and Eli have a comprehensive debate. You reallllly don't want to miss the Patreon extended edition of this one in which Eli accidentally reveals the extent of his ignorance of how any technology works. Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!

Thomas brings us an impossible conundrum that was shared in an article recently: two couples were undergoing IVF, their samples were mixed up, and they unknowingly gave birth to the other's baby. Would you let your genetic offspring go and continue your family with the baby you've already been raising and loving for a year, or would you want to reunite with your biological child? But the question Lydia knows you've all been waiting for...did the dads remember to rip into it this week? Join the Facebook Group! facebook.com/groups/dearolddads For comments, email [email protected] For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!