Dear Hank & John

Who was the first joshing Josh? Do bugs understand glass? How do I learn to chill? And more! probablysignedturtles.com Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do I do if my spouse wants to shave his head? Why are there birds at the airport? What if I'm not as well read as my boyfriend? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you deal with the dissipation of your future plans? Should I tell my parents I met my boyfriend on Tinder? How do I succeed if I'm not a go-getter? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When should I introduce my kid to Star Wars? Can I dislike parts of my life even though I have privilege? How did humans start swimming? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you put in work to be lazy, is it still laziness? Does Lin Manuel Miranda listen to Hamilton for funzies? At what point are you supposed to put water on a toothbrush? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What should my fun fact about me be? How do Christians and non-Christians get along? Am I too old to listen to this podcast? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is Hank a reptilian-human hybrid? How do I grieve and also be there for my students? What do you do when you do something terrible by accident? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can a writer mess with science for poetic purposes? If you enjoy Narnia, would you enjoy The Fountainhead? Is there a right social construct to teach? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should I contact the guy who owns the plane on which I was born? Are art and content different? Does it matter that the guy I'm dating has a six pack while I eat a lot of tacos? And more! PodCon! https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/podcon-podcast/x/1883440#/ Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you really in the clear with liquor before beer? Should I embrace the error on my birth certificate? Does it really matter where I go to college? And more! Email us: [email protected] Patreon: patreon.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is Batman a superhero? How do I claim an island as my own? Is there a "no politics" rule in dating? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do rich people like golf so much? What color is the sky on Mars? How much do I need to fact-check news before I share it? Where are bird ears??? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I develop a cool signature? How do I tell my dad I've been hiding a snake for several months? Is it acceptable to shout advice at strangers? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do taller people have bigger organs? Are more expensive clothes actually better? Is there a secular way to say you're "praying" for someone? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What should my motto be? What vegetable is happiness? When is enough really enough? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Where are all the fireflies? What is "the spark"? Was Alexander Hamilton or Sirius Black a bigger drama queen? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is the Big Bang really a thing? Does the driver or the passenger get to pick the music? What if someone gets pregnant on Mars? And more! Email us: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How long until everyone is related to Beyoncé? When does parenting stop sucking? How can I help the world without being rich? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can you separate the artist from the work? How do bugs survive microwaves? Will we ever be a perfectly unified planet? And more! Sarah's cookies! https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/sarah755035 NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What are the top ten kinds of spoons? Why do boys kiss like dying fish? What would happen if we lost gravity for fifteen seconds? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How nice do you have to be at the grocery store? How do we know humans didn't come from Mars? What is sound even? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I stop catfishing someone? How do I not feel embarrassed sharing my writing? Should I DIY my shirt? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should you always imagine people complexly? Would constellations be different on Mars? How many trees would you have to plant to offset your carbon footprint? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A look back on some of the most memorable moments in the history of the pod! Featuring: Jurassic Mars, Ryan, OH MY GOD IT'S BURNING, John's atrocious cereal eating habits, pumpkins and penguins, the long con, and more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who does my cat think I am? Is listening to music a waste of time? Should we get a new coconut? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I deal with finals stress? What building would you haunt? How do I teach my kid not to bully? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do you do if you're lost in the forest? Is Santa subject to trademark laws? Should I take a boring job for money? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Should I tell my mom about my risky plans? What is the tipping point for apocalypse chaos? And more! NerdCon: Nerdfighteria: http://www.nerdconnerdfighteria.com/ Email your questions: [email protected] If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Help, I can't tell my roommates apart! What if my relationship has an expiry date? How much reflection should you do after finishing a book? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do we move forward post-Election Day? How do you know when/if to have kids? Why does the space bar sound like that? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who is the foxiest founding father? How do I convince my boyfriend to not go to Mars? Is all my sister's stuff mine now? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are quesadillas sandwiches? What is the ideal OK Cupid match percentage? How much of another person's food am I allowed to consume? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should I ghost out of my job? Are bubble baths a hobby or an interest? How do I not feel like a forever foreigner? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I keep enjoying music I enjoyed with an ex? How do I recover from being doused in bull semen? What are my responsibilities when people ask me to watch their stuff? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do fish swim? Is Hank snapchatting? How do I stop my earphones from getting tangled? How do I deal with a job that I hate? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Will my laptop sterilize me? Do you like (or write) fanfiction? Where is the rest of the lizard whose tail I found in my room? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What are nerdfighters fighting? How do I learn to enjoy physical activity? How do I stop talking about Mars in my sleep? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohnSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.