Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

In this Q&A episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and Enneagram teacher Ian Morgan Cron to explore how the Enneagram can transform the way we understand ourselves and the people we love.

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife discusses the decision to stay in or leave a marriage, why you can't truly choose your spouse if divorce never feels like a real option, and what honest reckoning actually looks like.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Holly J. Moore of the Made for Moore podcast to discuss how parents can approach conversations about sex and sexuality with their children in a way that is honest, ongoing, and shame-free. They explore why discomfort doesn't have to be a barrier, how to begin these conversations early and keep them going, and how offering values around sexuality — rather than fear or shame — empowers children to make informed, confident, and integrity-driven choices as they grow.

Brad and Kate have been working to understand themselves and each other better, using the Enneagram to better understand how they each respond to stress and disconnection. They've been talking more openly and defending less—but when tensions rise, Brad moves toward action and physical closeness, hoping connection will bring relief while Kate pulls back, wanting to feel emotionally secure before opening up. This leaves Brad feeling rejected and Kate worried that intimacy is more about sex itself than truly being with her. Because Brad seems steady on the surface and Kate is openly emotional, it's easy for both of them to assume she's the problem—but they're equally dysregulated, just in different ways.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kamden Hainsworth of the Busy Brained Saint podcast to talk about what it looks like for both partners in a neurodiverse marriage to show up as whole people — owning what is theirs, releasing what isn't, and finding more freedom than they expected on the other side.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins the Date Your Spouse team to talk about what couples can do to bring a sense of aliveness to their marriage. She challenges the idea that going along to keep the peace is an act of love, explains why duty-based sex quietly destroys desire, and offers a surprisingly simple practice any couple can try TONIGHT to create more intimacy and connection.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On podcast to discuss her book That We Might Have Joy and the role of eros energy—the aliveness that emerges when couples stop running their marriages from fear, control, and ego. Through stories from the book—like Samuel, whose fear of sexual feelings kept him stuck, and Bradley, whose relentless pursuit of sex was driven by shame—Dr. Jennifer shows how sexual repression doesn’t make us more spiritual. It just keeps us fragmented.

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions submitted by listeners to drive a discussion about how we can create transformation in ourselves and in our relationships.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jody Moore to explore the crucial difference between compliance and true goodness. They discuss the difference between being kind and being compliant, why prioritizing other people’s comfort over your own integrity is harmful, and what your resentments can teach you about yourself and the way you show up in relationships.

In Part 2 of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's conversation with Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast, they discuss how couples can prioritize intimacy amidst the demands of parenting. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also tackles what to do when your child walks in on you during an intimate moment, offering age-appropriate language to help children make sense of what they saw without catastrophizing the experience.

In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast to discuss how our ideas about gender roles undermine genuine connection. The conversation unpacks why women's desire shuts down when sexuality is framed as caregiving, why tolerated sex creates resentment on both sides, and what has to shift if you want to move from dutiful encounters to the kind of passion and intimacy you're both craving.

In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks through her own marriage journey to illustrate what relational growth looks like. She shares how marriage revealed parts of herself she didn't want to see and how learning to stay in honest conflict has helped her relationship grow over the years. She also discusses how couples unknowingly co-create the dynamics they resent, and what it means to actually love and value your partner for who they are.

Room for Two is on sale for Christmas! Use code JOLLY to SAVE $18 on your first year subscribing! In this preview episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Brad and Kate, a couple who feels a chill in their relationship that they can't seem to shake. Sound familiar? Subscribe today to unlock this FULL episode (plus the entire Brad and Kate series and hundreds of other episodes that are just as relevant and helpful!).

In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer draws from her new book and research on sexuality to explore how we move from the magic of falling in love to the deeper work of creating lasting intimacy. She offers wisdom on navigating difference, sustaining desire, and why the challenges of marriage are not necessarily failures but invitations to grow.

En este episodio del podcast, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife conversa con Dan Purcell del podcast Get Your Marriage On. Hablan sobre... - Las 3 etapas del desarrollo sexual y cómo llevar su matrimonio al siguiente nivel - La importancia de cultivar la energía erótica en la relación - Cómo pasar de tener relaciones sexuales a una conexión profunda a través del acto de hacer el amor

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why podcast to discuss libido and sexual desire. They explore how biology, medications, aging, stress, and hormones can influence our sexual desire—but emphasize that the meanings we carry about sex, marriage, duty, and self-worth are usually the most powerful drivers of all.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about common extended-family challenges, including enmeshed parent–child relationships, triangulation, intrusive or overstepping in-laws, sibling competitiveness, and families that resist change. She talks about how couples can stay steady in these situations by being clear about how they want to function, holding to their integrity, and choosing honest, grounded ways of relating—regardless of the pressures around them.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes from and how it shows up in adulthood. She explains how shame turns toxic when it convinces us that our flaws make us unworthy, and she offers a clearer, kinder way forward—one that helps us accept our embodied nature, integrate our sexuality, and relate to ourselves with more honesty and compassion.

El conflicto surge naturalmente cuando dos personas intentan construir una vida juntas y representa una valiosa oportunidad de crecimiento si lo permitimos. Cuando no estamos de acuerdo con nuestra pareja, solemos recurrir a comportamientos que causan dolor y frustración, en lugar de esforzarnos por encontrar respuestas más productivas y colaborativas, aunque a menudo parezcan contraintuitivas. En este episodio, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife se une a la coach de relaciones Anne Nelson para hablar sobre cómo las relaciones pueden crecer y prosperar, incluso ante el conflicto y las diferencias.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife answers questions from listeners wrestling with whether to stay or leave their marriages. She explores why peace doesn’t come from certainty, but from the courage to act with integrity—choosing what we believe is most right, even when both paths carry loss.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jane Copier of the Happy in the Middle podcast to speak directly to women in midlife who feel disconnected from desire or unsure of how to bring themselves back into their marriages. She explains why this stage—though often uncomfortable—is full of possibility: a chance to stop living on autopilot, get honest about what you want for your life, and create more peace and connection in your relationship.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Lauren Yarrow of the Blonde Apologist podcast for a powerful conversation that reframes how we think about pornography. Drawing on insights from That We Might Have Joy, they explore how growth doesn’t come through control or avoidance, but through honesty, self-understanding, and integrity.

Relationships feel easy when things are going well—when we feel understood and everything between us feels steady. They’re much harder when we’re frustrated, disappointed, or misunderstood. Yet it’s in those moments of friction and honest conflict that we’re invited to grow—to become wiser, more grounded, and more capable of real love. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Tanner to share insights from That We Might Have Joy and explore how conflict in marriage isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong, but part of the very process through which deeper intimacy and peace take shape.

In this NEW episode, hosted by Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife draws from Chapter 3 of her book That We Might Have Joy to unpack how repression drives obsession, why intimacy is so difficult to tolerate, and how agency and integrity can open the way to real communion in marriage.

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explores how our own theology, rightly understood, offers a far richer view: that the body is a spiritual gift, and that sex can become the sacrament of marriage—a way of knowing God, ourselves, and each other with more honesty, love, and joy.

Your kids are learning about sex—whether you talk to them about it or not. And if you’ve ever wished Dr. Finlayson-Fife could coach you through these important conversations (and honestly, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers practical guidance for parents who want to raise sexually healthy, thoughtful, and confident kids.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Hunter Otis of the Pxrn Free Revolution podcast to explore the hidden pressures men carry around sexuality. They discuss why porn is such a tempting escape, how cultural and personal messages keep men stuck, and—most importantly—how stepping out of hiding can lead to greater freedom, honesty, and deeper connection in their lives and relationships.

For many women, sex feels like something to get through—another duty to manage, another expectation to meet. And yet, the more we pressure ourselves to “fix” our difficulty with desire, the more elusive it becomes. This is because desire cannot be manufactured. It will never come from obligation, attempts to appease, or from sheer willpower. It only thrives in freedom—when we feel true to ourselves, at ease in our own skin, and at peace with how we are showing up in our lives. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife unpacks why women so often struggle with desire and and what they can do to cultivate a sexual relationship that feels alive and worth wanting.

In this NEW episode of the Faith Matters podcast, Dr. Jennifer joins Tim and Aubrey Chaves to share insights from her long-awaited book That We Might Have Joy. They discuss how sexuality is not a distraction from spirituality, but a pathway to it—that intimacy and desire can help us grow into deeper integrity, more honest marriages, and more profound faith.

In this episode, listeners joined Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife for a Q&A discussion about her soon-to-be-released book, That We Might Have Joy (order your copy HERE!). During the conversation, she answered listener's questions about the process of writing the book, how she decided on the topic, and what lessons she learned along the way. But, true to form, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offered more than just simple answers to questions during this discussion—she challenged limiting cultural messages about the body, spoke about the courage it takes to face the truth in our relationships, and explained why intimacy always begins with self-honesty.

We’re re-releasing our most-listened-to episode ever—and for good reason. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Carolyn Pearson, Stephen Carter, and Dan Wotherspoon to talk about the real purpose of marriage—and why the challenges we face in it are what drives our personal and spiritual growth. They discuss how marriage can stretch us in the best ways—pushing us to confront ourselves, to move through conflict instead of away from it, and to build something real and lasting in the process.

It’s easy to see your partner as the problem when things feel unfair—but often, the patterns we feel stuck in are ones we’ve unwittingly helped create. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to talk about what it means to be a thoughtful change maker in your relationship. They explore how to recognize when you’ve been over-accommodating—and how avoiding conflict or ignoring your own desires can quietly erode both your well-being and the strength of the partnership. Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches that change begins by owning your role in the current dynamic—and using that clarity to engage in honest, collaborative conversations with your partner.

In this NEW episode of the Phoenix Forte podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife offers guidance for women navigating the emotional and spiritual work of healing after divorce, especially when infidelity has been involved. She discusses how disconnection from the body and sexuality is a tempting strategy—but one that ultimately keeps us from experiencing peace and connection with ourselves.

Neurodiversity brings a unique set of strengths—and challenges—to intimate relationships. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife responds to listener questions about how traits associated with autism and ADHD shape the dynamics of marriage. Drawing from her own life and work, she explores what it means to love someone whose brain works differently than yours—and how couples can create more peace, closeness, and partnership across those differences. * Please excuse the poor audio quality—the recording was not great, but the content more than makes up for it, so we are publishing anyway!

Many men carry inherited messages about masculinity and sexuality that quietly undermine their peace with themselves—and interfere with their ability to show up with strength and clarity in their marriages. In this powerful conversation with Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife challenges those inherited ideas and reframes strength—not as certainty or control—but as the courage to look honestly at yourself. The courage to tolerate feedback, consider your impact, and use discomfort as a catalyst for growth.

In this Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Greg and Amy Langford of the Undressing Intimacy podcast to talk about the painful reality of being at an important crossroads in your relationship.

In this new episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kurt Francom of the Leading Saints podcast to talk about how church leaders can best support their congregation in matters of sexuality—not by avoiding the topic or using fear-based messaging, but by offering a more hopeful, honest, and empowering vision of the gift that our God-given sexuality can be in our lives.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer answers questions from our Facebook Group about the role of fantasy in long-term relationships. She explores why fantasy often feels taboo, and how—when grounded in morality and friendship—it can become a meaningful tool for strengthening intimacy and deepening connection.

The lack of discussion about the Divine Feminine has negatively shaped our culture and limited our understanding of what it means to be female. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife breaks down the cultural misconception that femininity is equivalent to weakness and offers a beautiful perspective on the strength of feminine intelligence and the powerful role that strong femininity plays in healthy relationships, communities, and societies.

David has been battling a pornography compulsion for much of his life. He’s read the books, listened to the podcasts, joined the groups, and tried every program he could find. But despite his best efforts, his behavior continues. The repeated use—and the cycle of disclosure that follows—has taken a toll on their marriage. David is upfront when he slips—but this is in the form of turning to Alexa for forgiveness and reassurance. When Alexa distances following his disclosure, he often grows impatient. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with David and Alexa to better understand what’s keeping them stuck. She offers David a new perspective—that he would benefit from acknowledging the part of him that wants the escape of pornography, and that until he confronts that reality, genuine change will remain out of reach. Subscribe to Room for Two to listen to the FULL episode (and the rest of the David and Alexa series)

In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her audience to unpack why so many of us struggle to feel ease and desire in our sexual relationship—and what we can do to can create a more soulful and passionate connection with our partner.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amy Watkins Jensen of Women on the Stand to discuss how women can engage in meaningful and honest conversations about their experiences in the Church and how daring to do so is what will allow us to create more honest and inclusive faith communities.

In this powerful Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores the complexities of "duty sex" including what drives it and the detrimental impact it has on relationships. She discusses the powerful meanings we attach to sex, and how these meanings can either undermine desire by creating a sense of obligation or foster connection through choice and mutual desire. She offers insight into how both higher and lower-desire partners can step away from patterns of pressure and compliance and cultivate a more fulfilling sexual relationship built on mutual desire, authentic connection, and a sense of being truly chosen.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Tanya Hale of the Intentional Living Podcast to challenge deeply ingrained beliefs about women's sexuality. They discuss the ways these messages undermine women’s sense of self and self-respect and explore how integrating sexuality and spirituality allows women to reclaim desire, develop deeper self-trust, and cultivate more equal, fulfilling relationships.