Complicated Kids

This week I am joined by Author, Parent Coach, and mother of an autistic child, Susanna Peace Lovell to talk about her experience raising a child with special needs. Susanna gets vulnerable with us to share some of the lessons she learned through her experiences with her daughter and how she came to learn that she and her daughter were both on their own journeys in life, and that they were both whole and complete individuals who did not need to be "fixed." Her work instead was to advocate for her child to be seen for who she is, in all her glory. To find out more about Susanna, how to work with her and where to find her book, visit www.susannapeacelovell.com.

Although many kids go through a picky eating phase, some kids will experience extremely picky eating. Picky eating is expected; extremely picky eating is not. Jennifer Friedman, RDN helps me unpack the terminology and provides us with strategies for picky eaters that parents can use while they search for the right feeding therapist, dietician, or occupational therapist to diagnose and treat their kiddo. Find out more about Jennifer at www.feedingpickyeaters.com.

Marian Flaxmann, Holistic Health Coach, chef, and Biomedical Science Policy Wonk joined me on the Complicated Kids podcast to talk about food allergies, food as medicine and her journey to health. Fussy, colicky, rash-y, and uncomfortable are the words Marian uses to describe her first child as a newborn. She cried all the time; she needed to be held all the time. The doctors said this was 'fine'; Marian didn't buy it. She googled something like, "Can babies be allergic to breastmilk" and decided to go on a temporary elimination diet. Within 24 hours, her baby's crying, gas, rash, and discomfort went away. And so began Marian's journey to heal her child's gut and microbiome. By adding foods back into her diet slowly, Marian was able to figure out the foods that her daughter was and wasn't allergic to. Marian brought this curiosity and her health knowledge to her other two daughters, who were also complicated kids. You won't want to miss this informative and lively conversation. For healthy recipes, Marian's podcast, and 1:1 health coaching, visit www.marianflaxman.com.

Why would a child want to crash into everything and everybody, but NOT tolerate when someone lightly brushes past them? Because: Sensory Processing. Join me and Occupational Therapist, Pia Seltmann, to unpack all things Sensory and how OT helps with motor, attention and regulation abilities. Find out more about Pia and her practice at https://www.tareducationinmotion.com.

Information Asymmetry abounds in the world of special education. Luckily, Seth Besse is on the scene! At Undivided, he is helping level the playing field for parents of complicated kids in California and (soon) beyond. Navigating Individualized Education Plans (IEPs), waivers and other government programs, as well as the healthcare system can be totally overwhelming, which is why the team at Undivided is there to help parents. Join us to learn how they're doing that. Find out more about Seth and how Undivided is helping families by visiting www.undivided.io.

Emily and I went TO TOWN talking about tech in schools. Have a listen to this spirited conversation about how tech gets used in schools (for good and for ill); the implications on child development of introducing tech into learning so early; as well as some things parents can do to mediate the effects of technology use at school. To find out more about Emily and her work, go to www.thescreentimeconsultant.com.

Founder of the Free Range Kids movement, Lenore Skenazy, joined me on the podcast today to talk about the importance of fostering independence in kids. She doesn't want much: just a social and cultural shift in the way we think about kids' safety (they're safer now than they've been since the 1970's); adult discomfort (anxiety rates are skyrocketing); and supervision more generally. Lenore reminds us that "When parents step back, kids step up". Join us for a conversation about what that means - even for complicated kids. To find out more about Lenore and her work, go to www.LetGrow.org.

When we're thinking about early speech and language delays, parents, pediatricians and other well-meaning people often take a "wait and see" approach. "He'll grow out of it"; "My daughter didn't talk till she was 3"; "You were a Late Talker and you're fine" are some of the things parents hear from other folks. Jen Branchini and I will dive into why this is actually terrible advice and what to do instead. Join us for this lively discussion! To learn more about Jen and her practice, visit districtspeech.com.

We promise! Your child is not a monster. Leslie Cohen Rubury, LCSW and host of the "Is My Child a Monster?" Podcast, joined me today to talk about her approach to helping parents with their challenging kiddos. As the parent of a controlling anxious child, Leslie learned early on what parenting strategies were and were not working. As a therapist trained in DBT, she brings her non judgemental curiosity to all the work she does with families. Join us for this spirited discussion and how Leslie knows your child is not a monster. To find out more about Leslie, visit her website at www.lesliecohenrubury.com.

There are so many nuggets (including chicken nuggets!) in this podcast, you won't want to miss it. Amy Burkholder came on the podcast today to talk about picky eating and some of the factors that might be at play when kids are picky eaters. In particular, pay attention to the part where Amy reminds us that the dietary needs of toddlers - pound per pound -- are LESS than those of infants. That one struck me for sure! Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review if you really like this episode! To find out more about Amy, visit her website at seedtosaplingnutrition.com.

When Jessica's son was diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS), she spent some time grieving and asking "why me". And then she went into action to help other mom caregivers not feel alone through their own experience of parenting a child with disabilities. The result was her organization, We Are Brave Together, and her book, "Becoming Brave Together: heroic, extraordinary caregiving stories from mothers hidden in plain sight", released May 2024. Join Jessica and me for this insightful discussion about resilience, strength and the beautiful stories contained in this gorgeous book. Find We Are Brave Together on Amazon. To find out more about Jessica and We Are Brave Together, visit her website at www.wearebravetogether.com.

Amanda Diekman, author of the book Low Demand Parenting, joined me today for some "yellow bubble" time. Our conversation ran the gamut from autistic burnout, the problems with masking, and how our children are not empty vessels to be filled to how to think differently about the relationship with ourselves and our children while also dropping demands. This was a powerful conversation that you won't want to miss! To find out more about Amanda and her work, find her on FB and IG @lowdemandamanda and at www.amandadiekman.com.

Join me and Emily Cherkin for a spirited discussion about Tech-Intentional Screen Use. We'll cover what it means to be tech-intentional, how the battles that parents have with tech and their kids isn't a fair fight, some of the research around kids and screens, and how parents can manage screen use at home using Emily's judgement-free tech-intentional approach. You won't want to miss this one! Find out more about Emily by visiting her website at www.thescreentimeconsultant.com or pick up her book at https://www.amazon.com/Screentime-Solution-Judgment-Free-Becoming-Tech-Intentional/dp/B0CB9JS5KB. To view the research mentioned in the podcast, go to https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2815514?guestAccessKey=a[…]ferral&utm_campaign=ftm_links&utm_content=tfl&utm_term=030424.

Angela O'Brien and I sat down to discuss the ways in which her complicated kids have changed her life. From a challenging toddlerhood with her first child, to her second child's unexpected Down Syndrome diagnosis, Angela helps put it all into perspective, having survived and thrived, along with her children. We talk about the moment she realized that she needed to really start listening to what her children were telling her - verbally and nonverbally - and question her own assumptions about what her children's paths would be. We also talk about how she's leveraging what she's learned, along with her natural gift for organization, to help special needs families find more time and space for joy in their lives through her Especially Organized podcast and her professional organizing business, Your Space Reclaimed. Find out more at www.yourspacereclaimed.net.

Complicated Kids can sometimes struggle with constipation -- even if they're pooping every day! Join me and Dr. Kiley Gibbs, pelvic floor physical therapist, as we investigate some of the reasons kids become constipated and how to help them. Visit www.kcgpediatricpt.com to find out more about Kiley and her practice.

Join Scot Marken and me to talk about post high-school placements for neurodivergent kids. There are more and more opportunities for college-bound ND teens, as well as more and more supports for students who need them. We'll talk about some of these programs as well as mental health conditions and supports that are available beyond high school. Becoming responsible for their own medication, becoming aware of their own neurology, being able to advocate for themselves are all skills that young adults will need in order to leave home and live independently. We'll dive into these topics and so much more. To find out more about Scot at www.EdRedefined.com.

Cai Graham joined me today from the UK to talk about anxiety in teens (and parents). Trained as a coach and NLP practitioner, Cai's approach is practical, forward-looking and simple (though not always easy). Her no-nonsense way will have you leaning in for more all the way through this episode. Stay tuned till the end for an elegant and neuroscience-based way of dealing with anxiety! To find out more about Cai and how she may be able to help you and your teen visit her website at https://www.caigraham.com/.

Argavan Nilforoush, Pediatric Registered Dietician and Founder and CEO of Baby Steps Nutrition, talks to us about nutrition and kids today. Argavan describes how the principles of nutrition are applied differently in children vs. adults. We chat about the brain - gut connection, her process in interpreting the data she collects, the emotional aspects of working with parents, and how the gut can affect not only nutrition, but sleep, habits, behavior, and hormones as well. To find out more about Argavan, visit her website at https://babystepsnutrition.com.

Author and child psychologist, Dr. Daniela Owen, joined me today to talk about her children's book, Right Now I am Fine. Developed during the pandemic, this book, and the others in the series, embeds emotional processing skills and strategies that parents and caregivers can use in the moment when children are experiencing difficult emotions. Join me for this dynamic conversation about validation, emotions, mindfulness and so much more. To find out more about Dr. Owen and her work, go to https://drdanielaowen.com.

Join Jen and me as we discuss her parenting journey from awareness to worry, to diagnosis, to the continued ups and downs of raising her wonderful, ebullient, loud and loving autistic child. We touch on the initial shock she felt when getting the diagnosis, what she finds are the most effective ways to help herself, coregulation, and lots more. Find out more about Jen and the Raising Orchid Kids classes her and I offer together by visiting www.raisingorchidkids.com.

Join psychotherapist Jennifer Glacel and me for a lively discussion on ableism, neurodiversity, autistic nervous systems, and so much else! This was a wide-ranging conversation that got me thinking, as I hope it will get you thinking as well. To find out more about the great work Jennifer is doing to empower neurodivergent individuals, visit https://www.wing-dmv.com. To find out more about Jennifer's private practice, visit sevencornerspsychotherapy.com.

As Dr. Ortiz writes in his New York Times piece, it turns out that experiencing independence can do as good a job as exposure therapy for anxious kids. Dr. Camilo Ortiz is a clinical psychologist and a professor of clinical psychology at Long Island University. He currently specializes in anxiety and parenting. Join us for this fascinating conversation. To learn more about Dr. Ortiz, visit his website at www.drcamiloortiz.com.

In this week's interview, we're talking about the choreography of parenting through attunement and attachment with the amazing Judith Wides. When it goes well, the dance of parent-child interaction is fun and easy. But for some parents and kids, that dance can be full of missteps. Join us as Judith shines light on how to help parents form unbreakable bonds and open to their children's needs. To find out more about NCRC, the inclusion model preschool we discuss in the episode, visit https://www.ncrcpreschool.org.

Kelley Coleman knew that raising kids would be challenging, but she wasn't prepared for all the things she would need to learn, all the people she would need to find and all the skills she would need to acquire when her second son was born with multiple disabilities. With humor and directness, Kelley has written the book she wished had existed when her son was born, and outlined what parents of complicated kids might need to know on their parenting journey. Join us for lots of laughs and some shifts in perspective you didn't even know you needed. You don't want to miss this one. Find out more about Kelley and her book by visiting www.kelleycoleman.com.

Jason DellaValle - creator of Live Action Fitness - is not your average fitness instructor. He's not even your average adaptive fitness instructor. Jason has developed an inclusive program for kids 10 and up that brings gaming, motivation, executive functioning and social learning into an environment where Complicated Kids are happy to work out and make progress on their fitness goals. What?! Join me for this fun and informative conversation! And find out more about Jason at https://adaptivemovement.live.

Moms in Motion is a fabulous Virginia-based organization that I was delighted to discover recently. Anna Thomas joins me to talk all things Virginia Medicaid Waiver, including: how people qualify (spoiler alert: the waiver is based on the income of the person with the disability!); what services are offered by Moms in Motion; and how to access them. You won't want to miss this conversation about a service that makes a huge difference in the lives of the families it serves. To find out more about Moms In Motion and the ways they can help you navigate the waivers in Virginia, visit their website at www.momsinmotion.net.

This week I am joined by Whitney Ortiz of Eliana's Light, an organization that focuses on providing the care needed for whole families who have a family member with a serious or life threatening medical complexities. In this powerful interview, Whitney and I talk about her story of the struggles that her and her family experienced while caring for Eliana through her heart condition. Whitney shares some often overlooked needs of families in this position, addresses the lack of support for these families and shares with us how she is making a difference in the lives of those in the DC, VA and MD communities. To find out more about Eliana's Light and the incredible impact that Eliana is making on the world even after her passing and the ways that Whitney can help you and your family get some relief from the stressful times of caring for a sick child, visit her website at www.elianaslight.org or email Whitney directly at [email protected]. You can also find more resources that can help by visiting her partner page at www.findhelp.org.

Is mouth breathing just annoying or can it massively affect your health? Speech Language Pathologist and myofunctional expert Dr. Dawn Moore joins me to talk about the importance of nose breathing and how it influences many aspects of our lives. We talk about Dr. Moore's personal and professional experiences with tongue thrusts, how the size and shape of human faces is changing (and not for the better), and why that matters for both kids and adults. To find out more about Dawn, visit her website at www.thetonguedr.com.

When the family of a child with disabilities or delays gets support alongside that child, they all thrive. CEO and Founder of Grounded Learning, Martha Hoffman joins me to discuss the importance of a whole family approach to therapy and support. Martha is a long time educator who stresses the importance of prioritizing the needs of each, individual family member in order to help deal with the unique challenges of living with a child with disabilities. From societal pressures to challenging homework policies, Martha and I cover it all. To find out more about Martha, visit her website at groundedlearningdc.com.

As a teen, Jerry Bures had a conflicted relationship with his authoritarian father. So, he decided that when he had children, he would be a different kind of parent to his 6 children (including one with severe and complex medical needs). It sounded simple enough, but it isn't an easy journey. Join us for this conversation about Crisis Parenting, parenting complicated kids, balancing sibling relationships, and taking care of ourselves in the midst of it all. To find out more about Jerry and classes he runs for parents, visit www.instituteforconfidentparenting.com.

Who is forgiveness for? Whom do we need to forgive? And Why? Dr. Layla Salek is a psychologist who works with families of children with developmental disabilities. Those are some of the questions that we talked about in a conversation about growing up with and then treating kids with trauma, as well as lessons learned from those experiences. To find out more about Dr. Salek, visit her website at www.drsalek.com.

Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy -- what is PDA? Join me and Casey Ehrlich, of At Peace Parents, to unpack the acronyms and what they mean. We'll talk about kids' nervous systems and the high levels of stress that kids with an ASD (autism spectrum disorder) PDA profile have. We'll make sense of their behavior and discuss some "bad parenting" techniques to make things smoother at home. To find out more about Casey and how she may be able to shed some light on PDA issues with your child, visit her website at www.atpeaceparents.com.

This week's episode of the Complicated Kids Podcast features fellow SLP, Ayurvedic health counselor and founder of Evolved Therapy, Erin Browning. Erin shares with us her extensive experience and innovative approach to therapy. We talk about how traditional education in speech and language therapy often focuses narrowly on specific aspects without considering the broader context of a person's needs, the importance of breathing properly in order to support all functioning of the body and the importance of building rapport, trust, and genuine connections with clients. To find out more about Erin, visit her website at www.evolved-therapy.com.

I was delighted to be joined by Ayelet Marinovich, founder of Learn with Less. We covered a RANGE of topics, including how becoming parents changed the way we think about our roles, how Ayelet leveraged her need for connection as a new mom into the programs she now runs for families and facilitators, how all of child development is interrelated, and how toys are OPTIONAL. As we gear up for the holidays, you'll want to stay tuned till the end of the episode for some pro tips on toy selection. To find out more about Ayelet, visit her website at www.learnwithless.com. Or find her on all the socials at learnwithless. If you want to grab her Infant and Toddler Blueprint, go to www.learnwithless.com/blueprint.

Ron Shuali came on the podcast to not only inform with his knowledge of child development and education but also to entertain and delight with his "neurohacks" for staying calm and his larger-than-life persona. Suffice it to say that we both had a blast recording this episode. We hope you have a blast listening to it: there are so many nuggets! To find out more about Ron and how you can get him to speak at your organization, visit www.ronspeak.com. You will not be disappointed.

What are Emotional Support Parents? Well, they are NOT Helicopter Parents or pushovers or permissive parents. They ARE parents who are highly attuned to the needs of their highly sensitive (often anxious) children. Being an ESP is often necessary (because the child in question has a lot of emotional needs) but also exhausting for parents. Join us to talk about Emotional Support Parents and how parents can both support their complicated kids while also guarding their own parental mental health. Claire Lerner is trained as a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and child development specialist with over 30 years of experience working with children and families in a range of capacities. She is also the author of "Why Is My Child In Charge?" which can be found on her website www.lernerchilddevelopment.com.

Dr. Taylor Day is a child psychologist in private practice who is thinking about autism a little differently from many others in the field. She and I sat down to discuss how to support all the family members, not just the autistic ones; why early intervention and early diagnosis is so important, and how an autism diagnosis can be made as early as 14 months. (DON'T WAIT!) We talk about "Mommy Gut" and how that's a real thing, and we also give some tips for managing the mental (and TIME) load of having a child with an autism diagnosis. Don't miss this engaging conversation with a wonderful and experienced professional. To find out more about Dr. Day, visit her website at www.drtaylorday.com.

Kelly Mahler is an occupational therapist who specializes in interoception, and I was so happy to have recorded this interview with her. Kelly sheds light on how interoception, the awareness of our internal body signals, significantly impacts children's (and adults'!) emotional well-being. Discover how interoception is distinct from other sensory processes and how it influences so many aspects of daily life, including emotional regulation. We chat about the role of mindfulness practices in enhancing children's self-awareness by making them more attuned to their body's signals. We also explore the use of interoception in toilet training, a crucial skill for kids' independence and development. This episode offers a profound perspective on emotions as informative rather than "good" or "bad" and provides valuable resources for parents and professionals interested in delving deeper into interoception. To find out more about Kelly visit her website at www.kelly-mahler.com.

What do we do when articulation therapy isn't working? Join me and Arielle Gates, a speech-language pathologist, to answer that question. We discuss how articulation disorders, specifically difficulties in pronouncing sounds like the letter "R," can be intertwined with myofunctional issues. We explore the signs and symptoms in older elementary school-aged children and the importance of considering the broader context of airway and muscle function. Arielle also shares a success story of a child who underwent a myofunctional journey, and emphasizes the significance of a multidisciplinary approach involving professionals like dentists, ENTs, physical therapists, and occupational therapists. To find out more about Arielle and her practice visit her website at www.stellarslp.com.

Lacie Brueckner and Kat Pendergast joined me to talk about death and dying and how to help kids through this tough subject. Lacie and Kat are the authors of "Goodbye Bella," a book that helps children cope with the loss of a beloved pet. Our conversation leads into the importance of discussing death with children and provides valuable insights into how to navigate the grieving process, as well as ways to honor and remember those who have passed away. Kat and Lacie share their personal experiences and the positive impact their book has had on families dealing with pet loss and other forms of grief. This episode highlights the significance of open conversations about death and the healing power of sharing memories and emotions with children. You can find the book on Kat's website at katssocks.com or on Amazon.

This week's Complicated Kids Podcast episode features parent coach, school principal and ex-arsonist (more on that), Ben Pugh. Ben helps parents better understand their relationships with their children and changes their perspective to create understanding and support. Ben talks with us about his experience that really led him to support kids and parents the way that he does, the impact of prioritizing your own healing to better support the decisions that your children are making, how it's never too late to improve your relationships and combat generational trauma, and much more. To gain a new perspective from an educator, former troublemaker, and enlightened human being, give this inspiring episode a listen. To find out more about Ben and how he may be able to help you improve your relationships, visit, www.benpughcoaching.com/relationship.

In this episode of the Complicated Kids Podcast, I am joined by Ed Thompson, the CEO and founder of Uptimize, to discuss the importance of neurodiversity in the workplace. Ed shares insights from his book, "A Hidden Force: Unlocking the Potential of Neurodiversity at Work," and explains how Uptimize is leading the way in training organizations to embrace neurodiversity. We chat about the impact of neurodiversity on organizations, including the benefits of diverse thinking styles, the challenges neurodivergent individuals face, and the concept of masking. Ed highlights the value of creating inclusive and supportive work environments and provides real-world examples of how Uptimize's approach has helped organizations hire and retain top talent. To find out more about Ed and Uptimize, visit uptimize.com or grab a copy of his book "A Hidden Force: Unlocking the Potential of Neurodiversity at Work" on Amazon. This episode challenges common misconceptions about neurodiversity and underscores the financial and cultural benefits of fostering inclusivity and diversity in the workplace.

Dr. Dan Shapiro is one of my favorite people to talk to about child development. Dr. Dan is the founder of Parent Child Journey, Author, and a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician. This interview was recorded a couple of years ago, but it still holds up. We discuss what professionals should parents seek out first, why kids can't do things today that they were able to do yesterday (performance inconsistency), and how challenging behavior IS communication. Dr. Dan shares his wealth of knowledge and experience as we talk about navigating child development challenges, the power of positive assumptions, his "time-in" method, and his parent coaching program, Parent Child Journey. Check out this episode to hear from one of the leaders in providing support for parents in need of some guidance. To find out more about Dan's parent coaching program and get access to his amazing books, visit his website at www.parentchildjourney.com.

Cultivating a sense of resilience in ourselves and our kids is crucial. That's why I was thrilled to welcome, psychologist, youth leader, and author of Mastering Resilience: Transforming Into Your Purpose, Dr. Lorry Leigh Belhumeur. Lorry and I talk all about her book, including her motivation for writing it, who the book is for, and what kind of results people can see from following her recipe for resilience. We also talk about our shared passion for uplifting youth and the profound impact that cultivating resilience can have, not just on kids, but also on their adults. To find out more about Lorry, visit her website at www.masteringresilience.com. You can also find her book at Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

This week I had the opportunity to speak with Educational Consultant, Stephanie Frumkin. Stephanie has been an educator and worked with educators for her entire career. Stephanie and I talk about how she helps parents find the right educational structure for their children. We talk about the different models of school, the difference between private, public and homeschool, and what she can do to assist children with special educational needs such as 504 plans and/or IEPs. Listen to the latest episode of the Complicated Kids Podcast to hear more. To find out more about Stephanie and how she may be able to help you or your child with educational decisions, visit her website at www.exceptionaleducationalsolutions.com.

In this week's episode of the Complicated Kids Podcast I talk about treating the whole system in our kiddos. I go into the importance of realizing the connections between different parts of the system, the benefits of sleep, nutrition, environment, and breathing and how they are all connected. I talk about some things that could cause issues with your child's behavior that may not be apparent and how one problem in one system can cause other systems to have issues. Listen to the episode to find out more about the connections between body systems and behavior.

What is Applied Behavior Analysis, who does it and how can we individualize therapy WITH child development in mind. Join Becca Correll, owner of the Language and Behavior Center, and me for this engaging conversation. We'll chat about collaboration between professionals, how she came to ABA, and what this approach has done to help her clients.

In this week's Complicated Kids Podcast I chat with SpeechKids therapist and mother, Keisha Berry. Keisha has been homeschooling her children for 10 years now and shares with us some of apprehension she experienced before committing to homeschool, the freedom and ease she experiences with her role facilitating her children's learning, how important it is to have a tribe that can help, and how she utilizes a schedule to keep surprises from disrupting her day. Listen to the podcast to here more about Keisha's experience homeschooling her children, being a working mom, and creating amazing human beings in the process. Visit SpeechKids.com to find out more about Keisha.

In this week's Complicated Kids Podcast we'll talk about the importance of teacher fit for Orchids. In general, Orchids are highly sensitive which makes them sensitive to the energy of other people. I talk about things to look for that will let you know that they are not a good fit, and what steps to take if you do notice these signs.

What is self-directed education? This week on the Complicated Kids Podcast, I sit with Catina Sweedy from the Embark Center for Self-Directed Education to talk about just that. We discuss the benefits of an education model where kids are "in charge" who benefits from that model, and how. We also talk about why traditional educational models often don't serve "square peg" kids. Listen to the podcast to hear more about this alternative form of education. To find out more about Catina and her non-profit, visit www.embarkcenter.org.