Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Happy Wednesday! Today, Lazlo and SlimFast discuss and unpack the criticisms Lazlo faces online, along with some suspicious fan encounters from over the years. Lazlo and SlimFast dive into today's headlines, including the breaking news of Diddy’s verdict, Lululemon’s lawsuit with Costco, and Bryan Kohberger’s expected plea deal. SlimFast also introduces an article that lets people rate restaurants based on how attractive the customers are. Available wherever you get your podcasts; Every weekday morning, 6 AM - 10 AM, on 98.9 The Rock.

Happy Tuesday! Today, Lazlo immediately comes at SlimFast for his bald head, and then debates patriotism. The guys discuss jobs that don’t seem too unappealing; like standing in line for rich people, and pushing people into subway cars. Lazlo and Slim dive into Title IX, and the most recent cruise-ship incident that has occurred (no, not poop-cruise). Lastly, the guys dive into the line you can and can’t cross when heckling. Available wherever you get your podcast; Every weekday morning, 6 AM - 10 AM, 98.9 The Rock.

Happy Monday! Today, Lazlo and SlimFast talk about Jeff Bezos’s wedding in Venice, and his mysterious relationship with Sydney Sweeney. Lazlo and SlimFast debate whose America’s sweetheart - Reese Witherspoon? Julia Roberts? Plus, the guys discuss what Lazlo would do as a crisis manager, and if kids are truly able to have a ‘90’s Kids Summer’ now. Lastly, they call Poncho to hear about the shock of finding out his ex-fiance is the hospice nurse for his mother in failing health. Available wherever you get your podcast; Every weekday morning, 6 AM - 10 AM, 98.9 The Rock.

Happy Friday! ** SlimFast asks Lazlo what he would do in a cannibalism or starvation scenario; Lazlo opts for crashing a car** After much discussion, the guys come to the conclusion that Ozempic doesn't seem too bad.** Lazlo and Slim discuss what their worst nightmare is - which, surprisingly, David Spade has experienced.*** The Supreme Court is making some big decisions** Lazlo and SlimFast reflect on current fashion trends**

Phone call at the end of the podcast! ** Today, Lazlo and Slim figure out they have a bad track record with wild animals. ** Lazlo met WHO at his son’s baseball game?!**Love Island cyberbullying allegations lead the guys to call their own cyberbully, Squirrel. **Lazlo and Slim discuss the “princess treatment” lifestyle.**Lazlo reminisces on times he’s been reprimanded at work.**

**Today, Lazlo and SilmFast talked about Hippie parents vs Nixionites, and handling grief.** There’s another viral incident with a passenger on a plane** Lazlo and SlimFast unpack the public debate over the potential new stadium**What would Lazlo and SlimFast do if one of them went missing?** Lazlo and Slim discussed Trump cussing on TV**People want AC/DC to retire; Lazlo and SlimFast think they still got it.** Guess who hates Jimmy Kimmel?**

*There are plenty of people living a life of broken dreams. The world needs more people who refuse to dream in the first place. *I like Ted Danson. Is he a nepo baby? *Slimfast and his fiancé have to put their dog down today :( *The prosecution has rested in the Puff Daddy trial. *Raise your hand if you know someone who lost a partner to Supertramp. *Lazlo can't seem to remember the date of 9/11. *Someone in Iran must have misunderstood Trump's tweet about the ceasefire. *Quit bullying people! *c:\>GAMES.WOLFENSTEIN.EXE *I swear Your Honor; I was wasted too! *If anyone ever deserved a million bucks, it's this guy.

*Lazlo's favorite website of 2025! *Fighting for custody of your kids while working as a stripper? Lazlo and an internet lawyer have some advice for you. *Lazlo's oldest is officially gonna be an adult. *Tyler Perry may or may not have ripped an actor's clothing off and grabbed said actor's buttocks. *Don't start fights on Facebook with Lazlo unless you're prepared to finish them. *Lazlo claims he has a valid driver's license these days. *How is R Kelly gets meds for his nerves in prison? *There's a new documentary on Max about Ohio State and allegations of abuse against student athletes. *My Pillow B**ch. *Bring Me to Life? More like, Bring Lazlo to Tears.

*I'll bet you and your friends sit around listening to Goo Goo Dolls records while you hold back tears. *Brian Wilson was THE greatest American songwriter. Anyone wanna argue? Didn't think so. *Lazlo refuses to accept that Aerosmith is the biggest American rock band of all time but Slimfast brought receipts. *It's only the first quarter but Israel appears to already be running up the score on Iran. *Lazlo wants to try this "gas station heroin" before the FDA takes it away. *When Adele says "we could have had it all", doesn't she mean SHE could have had it all? He obviously didn't want IT. *Jurors got to watch Diddy's freak off videos for almost an hour. *My dad always said, un-shattered testicles are better than shattered ones. *Greatest TV Dads of all time. *You're probably not old enough to remember when Track & Field used to be fun. *Trump says he may pause ICE raids in certain places, like hotels and farms. *Another one of Matthew Perry's doctors is going to plead guilty to giving the late Friends star ketamine. The Ketamine Queen, on the other hand, likes her chances at trial. *Was a contributor on FOX News drunk on the air this weekend?

Happy Father's Day! Don't call your dad at work unless somebody died or the house is ______. And quit crying or I'll ________. *Israel attacked Iran in Operation Roaring Lion. *You may think you know MK Ultra but do you know Sabrina Carpenter MK Ultra? *There's a first time for everyone. Slim's just happened to be on the playground at school in the first grade with a guy named Mitch.

*Lazlo's 7/11 is a real-life Kevin Smith movie. *She wants the baby; he wants an abortion. He (allegedly) slips her an abortion pill in her coffee. *A friendly reminder to wipe your phone once in a while. *Obama DID NOT party with Diddy (that we know of). *Slimfast is trying to get Lazlo to go to ICP this weekend. *Elon is sorry. *A hot teacher sleeping with a teen student can be a bad thing. *Now would be a good time for The Royals to step it up. *Spiegel catalogs and back tickling are just a part of growing up. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Reach out to us on socials, or don't. You can also join us live every morning at www.twitch.tv/churchoflazl -Everybody Wang Chung Happy Birthday, Dad. Miss you.

*The Mommy Libido Formula is the most irritating thing you'll hear all week. *Macklemore lives in a mansion? *What happened at The Lusty Lady in 2007? *BYO-Nylons *Jane loved cuddling with Diddy and watching Dateline. *Lil Frankie!! *The NCAA might be history. *The protests are spreading. *Guy Code 101

*Lazlo's youngest makes Dad proud. *I thought we all agreed, babies crying on airplanes are a part of life and nothing worth getting worked up about. *Dr Phil said, "It only took one brick to make that window drop." *Baby oil and burqas. *Fish might not like being hooked and filleted. *Trump says he might arrest Governor Newsome. *If you think chemtrails are real, you're in luck. *Now that Aaron Rodgers has signed with the Steelers, it's time for the 2025 QB power rankings. *A teenager in New Mexico peed in the opposing team's water cooler and it turns out that's not against the rules.

*You don't have to have kids to understand why parents get nervous about their teens driving all over God's green earth. *North Korea is hiring! *Would you rather have sex with a goat and nobody knows about it, or would you rather have everyone spend the rest of their lives thinking you've had sex with goat when you haven't? *Elon v Trump is the main event we've all been waiting for!! *ChatGTP thinks Slim is a pervert and has literally changed its own policies in response to his weird demands. *Here we go again. Seal Face returns. *Who's picking up crumpled paper off the bathroom floor at Jersey Mike's and then taking the time to read it? *Lazlo's got a thing for Nazi strippers. *The Royals are playing some ball! *DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! *Lazlo's road-trip playlist. *Lazlo killed Scott Weiland

Lazlo went out last night! *The Pegposal *Just assume that everyone can hear everything you say at all times. *Lazlo's Book Club-The Rob Lowe memoire. *18-34 is a coveted demo. *Finally, Netflix is giving us a hard-hitting documentary on the Poop Cruise. *Organized crime is back, baby! *Elon turns heel. *Pop Quiz! Who washes out their used Ziploc bags for reuse, Lazlo or Slimfast? *Answer the phone!

*What? Sports already?? C'mon guys! *Lazlo defends age gaps, again. *Teriyaki *Grandpa disarms the DoorDash guy and looks like a total badass doing it. *Operation Spider Web *Wanted: The Back to the Future guitar. *Slim's Brother-Dad. Or is it Dad-Brother? *God wants the Chiefs and Royals to get new stadiums. *A trans athlete in California has triggered an investigation by the DOJ *Those limey cu**s nicked our idea! *A guy known as Mr 100k A Day heckled Gabby Thomas at some sort of track meet. No big deal, right? Think again. It might be illegal. *Free Tennessee Zebra looking for a forever home. *Finally, some Puff Daddy news! *What does one do with Sydney Sweeney's bath water? So many possibilities!

*You kiss your father with that mouth? On his mouth?? *To boldly cry like no man's cried before. *Crappy Walmart purses of the 90s. *Some people are pissed about the Blue Alert that was sent out to locals yesterday. *Your pet is costing you more than you think. *Is it illegal for homeless people to have a baby? *SPORTS- Cags gets the call! *Flamin' Hot rags to riches...to rags. *Livvy Dunne is sick of being chased around by middle-aged men.

*Why Slimfast got his feelings hurt about an Everlast poster. *The people have spoken, and I don't think they're demands are too ridiculous. *Ever been cursed by a witch? We don't recommend it. *Quit lighting people on fire. *Are you trustworthy? *There's nothing wrong with getting a promotion because you're having sex with your boss. *Snakes on a Penis.

*Lazlo has a weird definition of "consent". *How I met your father. *Are the Royals moving to the old Sprint campus? *Why 'mom jokes' are not victimless. *This hurts me more than it hurts you. *I've heard of people putting plastic on their furniture but I never imagined it would look like this. *Your kid isn't as cute as you think. Tell her to sit down and shut up!

Today, we take a deep dive into our pasts to uncover the trauma that brought us all together. But seriously, everyone's parents smacked them with the belt a few times. It was considered good parenting.

Getting crabs in college, violating probation for posting on social media, defecating in anger, injuries from orgies, and skin in the wrong places. Hope you enjoy our nonsense. Have a great weekend and we'll see you Tuesday! -Everybody Wang Chung!!

*Who gave you this number? *Norm from Cheers is dead. You heard me! Dead! *Never forget: Slim gave booze to underage girls and received a lifetime ban from a major university. *The best way to keep a Diddy at bay? Get a home equity line of credit. *Women are upset about A.I. girlfriends because they're so hot. Slim is upset about A.I. girlfriends because they're so needy. *Bawitda-boebert

*Financial advice is for entertainment purposes only. Winning money all the time is entertaining. *Quit spying on your partner! *Slim's car air-freshener story is back in all its glory details. *The college majors that will pay you the least. Stick with something proven like Theme Park Technology. *Damn it feels good to have The Royals. *A Kansas mom is suing (the internet?) because her 14-year-old son was able to access porn on his laptop.

*I'm great. Why? Do I look tired? *Thanks for the feedback. It's how we learn to fine tune the show. *Chicks love baseball. *In case you didn't know, Slim has a general rule about places he visits more than once and stays for more than 30 mins. *Viral-Hot teacher quits because teaching kids to read pays less than starting an OnlyFans *Carnies man, you know they ****!

Did you know that you can fire a woman for being too hot? You can! Afraid you're going to cheat on your wife with a coworker? Sure, you can try making her wear baggy clothes but she's still gonna make you horny, so tell her she's gotta go! Worried about getting sued? Don't! The Supreme Court (of Iowa) has got your back! https://tinyurl.com/4r6wev84

*We were on one today. Sure, we talked Royals, Chiefs, and high stakes White Sox betting but we also went down memory lane. Lazlo's accidental gay encounter, the bad kids from school, and more. I'm going to keep this brief today. The less I type, the faster I can get this hot little number into your hands. Enjoy the podcast and we'll see you again tomorrow!

*If you have $500 and an Xbox, you can afford to have someone clean your house. *Renting other people's houses on vacation is so 2018. Renting other people is where it's at. *Lazlo and Ben Affleck are one hangout away from being besties. *A new book claims that...wait for it... Joe Biden is a confused old man! *A.I. continues to amaze (and scare the hell out of) us. *The Bears are in town. *Can a hobby be a red flag? Yes, obviously it can. *Pete Rose is no longer ineligible. Too bad he's also no longer alive. *Should you consider giving a psychic all your money? Reply hazy, try again.

*Things with Lazlo and 'New Kenny' seem to be getting pretty serious. *WWYD if your fast-food receipt had a handwritten "help me" note? *Women are tired of feeling unseen by men who don't want to want to do the dishes. *Fingers crossed, Trump might get us some cheap Ozempic. *What good is being POTUS if you can't accept sweet gifts? *Would you rather have to go shopping in a store, or receive all your deliveries with a side of poo? *This phrase is the biggest red flag a doctor can hear from a guy. *The Royals are fun as hell this year! *Torey Lanez (who dat?) is feeling upbeat after being stabbed 14 times in prison. *The most embarrassing song lyrics of all time. They forgot a few.

*KFC and flipping off the grandkids. AKA-Mother's Day at Slim's *Kansas man steals civil war cannon to pay off drug dealer. *Greek woman divorces husband after ChatGTP read his coffee grounds. *Great news! Trade deals with China and free jets from Qatar! *Science has determined the optimal "body count" and it's different for men and women. *California high school baseball team is in trouble for being racist little jerks. *Lil Wayne dumps his girlfriend...on Mother's Day!! *Lazlo says there's only one sex act that can lead to pregnancy.

*We're going to a Royals game today! *If you come across a naked man in gas station bathroom, it's best to just close the door and let him finish. *A murdered man gave an impact statement at his killer's trial in Arizona. *A woman in Boston was kicked out of the ladies' room because she looks like a dude. *Lazlo loves hate. It feeds his soul.

*Sweet Cream is looking for kids to teach him how to use a computer. *How would one go about getting Jennifer Aniston's address? (asking for a friend) *Smokey Robinson has been accused of sexual assault. I'll save you a click, he's 85. *This is the first time someone's been killed by a bear in Florida? Wait, there are bears in Florida? *The FBI is warning the public about 764. What's 764? There's no way to know. *With a little help from the electoral college, Trump might be pope soon.

*When did big wigs stop keeping scotch in their corner offices? The 80s? *Lazlo's Diamond Club days are a thing of the past. *Someone misunderstood the rules of vigilante justice. *Dave Portnoy vs the antisemites. *The greatest "one season wonders" in NFL quarterback history. *Luigi Mangione-The Musical *Lazlo thinks Slim's "sweet cream" is making him unpopular.

*Homewrecker laws? What the hell are homewrecker laws?? *Doesn't matter if you're supermodel Christie Brinkley, men lose interest when you hit middle age. *My dog's ashes are sitting on the piano. Or are they? *Are kids crapping in litter boxes at school? No! The answer is still no! *I hear Brett Favre is more of a Hulu guy.

*What time is it? You want us to do this again tomorrow? Do you understand that we've been doing afternoons for 22 years? When are we supposed to sleep? How are we supposed to stay up late watching old TV shows? How the hell do I run this board? Thank God for the overnight engineer. Do you hate us? Complain on Facebook. Do you like us okay? Tell us on the text line or join us on twitch. It's easy, just got to www.twitch.tv/churchoflazlo and subscribe to the show! Or download the app and talk to us on your phone. We're live every weekday from...6:000-10:00. That's am! That's right, we're a morning show now. Who'll be late first? Lazlo or Slim? Place your bets on our subreddit. r/churchoflazlo Thanks fot listening! Have a great day! You got plenty of daylight ahead of you!

*Demi Moore is the world's most beautiful person but Tom Hardy ain't bad either. *Toto by Africa is cool but Wind of Change by Scorpions in cooler. *The news! Cars a car drives into a school, the NFL is investigating more prank calls, Karen Reid throws a Hail Mary, and more. *Lazlo has been trying to figure out a David Copperfield trick for twenty years. *If our bosses replace us with AI, how long would it take anyone to notice? At least six months. *Don't tip your robot!! *White women love THC seltzers.