Building a Better Dave

Today I talk about an interaction with Frederick Michael Plant which goes from zero fo FU in a very quick time Marriage at First Sight - Horrible television that I could not stop watching This one woman feels the word "husband" has magical powers and even though she just met her husband they are "soulmates." This could be a good show to watch with your significant other. See https://youtu.be/soZf8jhcmus

Today it's 5 AM again, and I can't sleep. I'm slowly starting to work on my speech as on July 24th, 2018 I am being inducted into the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame. It's really an honor and its humbling. Person and person have been leaving a message saying how it was, "Overdue," and "Well Deserved." They thank me for all the hard work. Hard work? Somewhere I got a gene where I just love to help people. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, so it really wasn't hard work I got to be creative. I got to play with technology I got to help people. This wasn't hard work at all. Thanks for listening

I had an epiphany and I'm not sure if I dreamed this, I don't know where it came from. I looked at the previous Mrs. Jacksons (since I have a matching set now) and I noticed that both of them were someone in a situation where I'm going to call it "Damsel in distress." When I met them, I saw them as a damsel in distress that I could come in on my white horse and save. I was sitting in my bed and I wanted to think about how many women I had ever said the phrase, "I love you" to. I think this is spurred on this idea. Recently I've gone to two conferences in the past month and I'm starting to notice, where I thought my heart was just dead - for lack of a better phrase) I have met a few females that I would like to get to know you better. The bad news is they all live hundreds if not thousands of miles away and in some cases, are young enough to be my daughter, which makes me feel creepy. Let's start off with the very first person I said I love you to. I was 16 years old, does that really count? Well, yeah, it did at the time. And I thought of the very first time I found myself attracted to this person. My very first memory is she was a flag girl. What else do you have to say? She was a flag girl in the marching band and I gave her a ride home after a football game because she was wasted. I remember her passing out. We'll kind of in her head hitting the passenger side window. And I thought, oh my God, she's going to break the window. But what is that? You guessed it. Damsel in distress. The second girl was a very, very brief dating period, but very intense. And you'll notice a pattern here. She was dating somebody who lived far away. It was a long-distance relationship. Which is hilarious when you're all of 16, 17 and I was the friend that she talked to deal with the fact that her boyfriend was far, far away. Yeah, you guessed it. Damsel in distress. The third one I was a late teen now and we worked together. Again, I am the friend that she talks about her boyfriend who lives far, far away. Damsel in distress Number four turned into ex-wife number one who I would like to interview. I think it would be interesting 20 years out now too, to talk about our area of life. Let's just kick back and, and what do you think of if you were to describe Dave Jackson? That's the key. I think these people at one point did know me at one point. Anyway, when I first met her, she had a horrible living situation. Her mom was dating gigantic losers. And she lived in the hood: Damsel in distress. Damsel number five was the nurse (if you're a regular listener to the show you've met her as she became wife #2). When I met the nurse, she explained to me how she had been dating a guy who had cheated on her seven times. Damsel in distress. But when I look back at these women that I said, "I love you" to, I was like, oh my God, they were all damsels in distress. And that's amazing to me, and that's why I'm podcasting in fie in the morning as I can't sleep.

So if you looked up the word Gullible it says, "easily persuaded to believe something; credulous." So I looked up credulous and it said, "having or showing too great a readiness to believe things." I had an interesting conversation today and we were talking about these places that appear to prey on the Gullible. You know the drill. You get dragged to a meeting where you hear a pitch. Everyone can benefit from the product. It's super easy to join. It's even free. You are encouraged to bring your friends. If you want to become a member there are fees based on your level of dedication. There are weekly meetings to attend and in some cases twice a week. There are brainstorming session on how you can get the word out there and raise more money for the company. If you are active enough and demonstrate dedication, you may get an advisory board. Some people show up and swear the product works, while others don't attend weekly meetings and don't seem to be getting any results Some people think the whole thing is a scam. The people pushing the product are just a bunch of snake oil salesmen trying to brainwash people What company do you think I'm talking about?

So I'm watching Jerry's Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Netflix. It's amusing. He gets these obscure cars and picks up celebrities and talks with them over coffee. He gets paid a lot of money for this. They aren't earth shattering interviews, but the show is cool. I was watching trying to figure out what it was that made this show cool. Then it came to me. There was jazz music in the background. Now watching a toothless waitress in some strange dinner is cool. Look! it's coffee in slow motion put to jazz! I've never seen coffee poured like this. It's like seeing coffee for the first time. Holy Cow. Now when Jerry pulls up in a 1972 VW Van with rust to pick up Kramer, it's cool. Then I thought about the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Here is this boy face male pattern baldness at a very early age, being bullied by his friends, and disrespected by his dog. There isn't much of a story, then get him involved with a bizarre play that also has no story. Then Linus just takes control and start blurting out random scripture like a long lost Osteen and the Christmas Special comes to an end. Why do we watch every year? Becuase it's got one of the coolest soundtracks ever. Filled with some really cool jazz. I don't even like jazz. It makes anything cool. I recently started using Advocare products (which have boosted my weight loss efforts) and while they have great products let's not kid ourselves they are a multilevel marketing business. It's Amway for fat people. So I signed up so I can discount on the products and I'm reading some really boring stuff. Now lately I'm stuck. I keep throwing out my back, and that makes it hard to exercise. I'm losing weight (down 3 lbs in the last 30 days) but I keep throwing out my back from sneezing. Then when my back is out, it's hard to exercise. The lack of exercises makes me less healthy, which leaves me open to getting sick, which leads to me sneezing more. You see where this is headed. You know what makes exercising in your living room better? You guessed it. Mentioned in This Episode Advocare

I have some friends who have giant TVs. Two years ago I bought a 32" flat screen. Now when I go to their house and come home, my 32" looks like a toy. So I decided to buy a bigger 1080 TV. This lead to me asking about what is the difference between 1080 and 4K, then what was the difference between 4k and HDR? Then the guy at Best Buy gave me a demo of both, and I could feel myself getting sucked in. I had found a cheaper TV but now I could feel myself talking myself into grabbing the credit card. I ended up with a 55" 4K HDR tv. Then I brought it home. Uh Oh. Then I went to plug it into my soundbar. Uh Oh. Through the process of carrying these items from store to trunk to apartment, I pulled muscles in my back. When I watch the Tonight Show, it feels like Jimmy Fallon is in my living room. My TV is just about the size of my couch.

You must run do not walk to your television listing and find the Hallmark Channel. They are running the same movie (disguised with a different name) over and over. There will be lots of crying as Christmas is almost ruined, then, in the end, you find in the nick of time that Yes, Yes, (cheesy storyline) is true! It will start people like Shelly Long (remember her from Cheers), Angie Dickinson (isn't she dead) and lots of people from sitcoms that you watched in the 80's and 90's that kind find work anyplace else and have no integrity.

I went to Washington DC last week. I met a girl who does a show called "Good Grief." She started recording her podcast after he died and she found out he had a second family with two additional children of which she was one. Woa. I also got to meet Darwyn Dave who does the show Dealing With My Grief. Darwyn's Dad was murdered. Damn. Like straight up murdered. So I listened to these shows on the way home. This lead to some strange thinking, and emotions bubbling through. Emotional Triggers I focus on the weirdest things lately. My brother got pretty sick a little while ago and he had a weird situation where he was sweating under a bunch of blankets because he was freezing. He had lost a lot of color, and looked bad. It was spooky even though I knew he would pull through. The bottom line is we are out of Grandparents, we have a few Aunts to play, one Uncle who is 94, and then we become the next generation in line. You know and I know that it's going to get here sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about that. Maybe it's because my brother and I were estranged for years, and now we're not, that the thought of us being apart can cause my eyes to leak. And when I start to grieve, I feel like I have a buy one get one free. That I have leftovers that have been sitting in the pantry waiting to be consumed. My Mom died in 1989. That's a while ago. My finals at college were the next week and yet I still had to take them. I cried. I wept. Then it was back to school. I was now running a house as my Dad was still a long distance truck driver, and my sister..... while she has never been diagnosed I think she has assburgers. She doesn't like any change in her routine. I remember trying to get her to write things on a shopping list. She would say, "but that's not how Mom did it." I would have to answer, "I know, but Mom's not here." It was a strange relationship because I was the little brother taking care of my older sister. When my Dad got home on the weekends, I would fill him in on the bills, house, and get to my homework. I remember my last semester. I took more credit hours than I have ever taken because if I didn't graduate I was going to lose my mind. It was graduate or die trying. My GPA took a hit, but I got the piece of paper and moved on. Being That Guy My Mom died when I was 24. Looking back, I was a baby. I thought I was an adult, but I was pretty young. It deeply affected me. I became a workaholic. I still am. I've never wanted that to be my calling card. Hello, I'm Dave Jackson and my Mom died when I was 24. Yet, it is part of my history. It left a scar. It shaped me. I just don't want it to be my definition. I Asked God For a Kid and He Said No I spent myself into bankruptcy trying to have a kid. It didn't happen and instead, my wife became an alcoholic and cheated on me. Pity party for one, again... The last episode of Good Grief, Sam has her Dad (the man who raised her ) explain what it means to be a Dad. He explained how it changes you. It transforms you. It makes you complete. It was like a bad horror flick where the person rips out your hear and holds it in front of you. Again, I don't want to be that guy. When I got to meet my friend's nine-month-old son it was awesome. He is the sweetest kid. This doesn't bother me. I don't ache to have my own, but I do have a major fear of missing out. If having children makes you complete, then I'm not. Am I broken? I dunno. I like me. I think I'm ok... confused.. Playing Ball With My Dad My Dad was not a bad Dad. He just wasn't around. He was on the road four to five days a week and would come home and sleep and then repeat. My brother bought me my first baseball glove. My brother was pushing the bike that I learned to ride. My Dad did take me fishing once. But it was that ball thing. Aren't you supposed to go in the backyard and toss the ball, any ball around? It never happened. Now here is the stupid part. We played ping pong on a regular basis. It was fun. We laughed, and battle hard. I'm not sure why this doesn't count for me. I guess cause you don't see it on TV or in the movies... I was at the park walking through the woods. The woods opened into an opening with a baseball field. There it was. A boy about age seven or eight pitching the ball to his Dad playing catcher. My heart just jumped out of my chest. It was like looking into a store window of something you will never be able to buy. I wanted to run out on the field and go, "DUDE, do you know how LUCKY you are?!" Then I got mad. Like any child who doesn't get what they want. Why did everyone get to play catch but me? Pity party for one. When I was young, some of my oldest memories are sitting on my Granpa's living room floor. My Dad would argue with him Mom about something stupid, and eventually, my Grandpa and my Dad would go outside. I'm assuming they talked. They had a father and son moment, some sort of discussion. I'm assuming this is why we came over. My Dad wanted to hang with his Dad. Th

A West Virginia school during Patriotism week made a sign about their opponent from Pittsburgh. They made the sign red white and blue, and the sign read, "Trump Perry." It did not say, "WE HATE BLACK PEOPLE." A football banner is intended to intimidate the other team. My high school was Ellet High School so Ellet rhymed with Smell iT. As our mascot was a giant Orange Hulk, and we were known as the Orangemen, we often saw many signs about "Squeezing the Orangemen." Our arch rival was Springfield High School. Springfield had a lake. So we called students from Springfield, "Swamp Rats." I guess by today's standards we were bullying when we played the fight song after a touchdown. I can't believe this made the news. Instead of the superintendent from the WV school writing an apology, they should've suspended the LIBRARIAN for being a narcissist and making everything about her, and for not being able to process any opinion besides her own. While I can't "tell you how to feel" you should be willing, and wanting to hear the other side of a story and be willing to participate in a dialogue. Here is the story from CNN See http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2017/10/21/trump-banner-at-hs-football-game-sparks-furor.cnn

I was born and raised in Akron Ohio, and my elementary school had one African-American student (Melody Hardy) and she sat right next to me. What I'm worried about is it seems if a white person says something that is insensitive, they are INSTANTLY labeled a RACIST. If a person is like me, we aren't racist - we are untrained. We've had zero practice dealing with different cultures and races. If a white person says something that sounds racist, it may be that they are missing some key ingredients in their education of what it's like to be a person of color. The problem is if we are all waiting with our "guns" locked and loaded, then everyone (especially white folks) don't start any conversations. The ability to grow, and understand other cultures is limited if we don't open up the door to understanding different perspectives. As someone who constantly hears about "White privilege," it sounds like all I need is to be white and have a penis and I will never have anything to worry about. It didn't work for my Dad when we went on welfare and we got to enjoy the awesome taste of government cheese. This doesn't mean I had it worse than you, I'm just saying not all white males got a free ride. Some of the best conversations you can have are when you quit trying to convince someone to think you like you do, and instead just provide your side of the story and let people make their own decisions. This requires you to listen, and I don't think we are open to hearing another side of the story because you might actually change your opinion. Just be careful labeling all white people as racists.

I haven't been to a McDonald's in quite some time, and apparently, we've come a long way from the days of the paper hat and smock. Maybe it's just me flashing back to the days when I had to have my hair above my collar to keep my job.Maybe it's because I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't have a single tattoo, but some of the people who serve my food at the drive through are startling. I drive up to the window to hand them my ATM card and they turn around and HOLY CRAP! It looks like the dove face fist into a tackle box. I don't care that you have enough hardware in your face to pick up a shortwave radio stat, but when you're not ready for it, it can be quite a surprise. Tonight I went to a Books a Million (BAM) and was surprised to see they had installed a Library in the coffee shop. There were at leat 10 people who are not "Skimming" a book to see if they should buy it, but starting at page 1 and going straight through. I swear one guy was in there the last time I was in this location. At some point, shouldn't you just buy the book and take it home? Why would you when you can buy a water and an oatmeal raisin cookie and come back tomorrow and finish up the book. One person even fell asleep in his chair. It is one of the few places on earth that doesn't have 50 TV's on the wall.

Today I talk about how I'm stuck. I don't want to be a person who lives in the past. On the flip side, if I don't remember life changing events is that disrespectful? There is a great quote in the Sheryl Crow song "Every Day is a Winding Road" and she asks, "Why am I a stranger in my own life?" I talk about the day I watched my Mom breakdown upon hearing her father's voice for the first time in a long time. So now I'm worried about playing an old tape that has my Mom's voice. I don't want to be "THAT GUY" who is always talking about his Mom. At this point, I've spent more time without her than I did with her. So I get really worried that I spend too much time looking back.

So I was halfway filling out the application at match.com when I hear a familiar voice in my head ask, "Is that what you're going to wear?" There is a part of me that feels I need someone to go through life with, and someone to hold my hand, when I get old and feeble. This might've been brought on by the Death of my Dad followed by my Aunt, but I can see the bus coming, and it's a ways off, but its not that far away. So I am torn between two worlds. And today I decided to turn on a microphone and talk about it.

Today I share what it was like to go through the holidays ALONE last year. As horrifying as that might sound, there were some perks.

Today I talk about the lost art of losing gracefully.

Today I talk about a negative voice in my head that just always seems to be there. Always. Lately something has not felt normal. Something was weird. Something didn't feel right. It turns out the thing that wasn't wrong, was there wasn't something wrong. I'm not dreading going home I'm not under lots of stress. I like my job. I'm not super stressed about money I'm pretty sure, that it may be a while before I get in another argument. I feel respected. What is this feeling? Holy cow, I'm happy. I forgot what this has felt like. Much like a dog who has been beat too much, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and it's not. You can feel bad about yourself when you compare yourself to others. The American life is to have a spouse, a house and kids. Well I have no spouse, probably not going to have a house, and the kids boat has sailed. If I think about this too much, I can feel like I've missed something. Yet, I have a great life. I'm sitting in air conditioning, employed, I'm down 30 lbs. Life is good, quit being an A-hole and enjoy it! What You Focus On Should Impact You In a Positive Way I almost bought a magazine filled with Shi-tzu dogs that in the end would leave me feeling sad missing my old dog. At first seeing their pictures of the dogs/puppies it made me smile. However, if I bought that magazine, I know I would eventually lead to me missing my dog. So I passed on the magazine. Instead I'm going to focus on the things in front of me that bring me joy (like air conditioning) Support The Show Want to help keep the show floating? Go to www.supportthisshow.com and use the shopping and donation buttons.

Last weekend I was driving to the place where I ride my bike. It beautiful. I get out there, relax, and enjoy nature. This week I was driving and I passed signs for Brian and Linda's wedding, and then the reception. I thought of how happy Brian and Linda must be on this day. It was an awesome day to sweat 20 lbs off in a tux. I thought of how I felt on my wedding days. Yes, there have been two. With this in mind, you can learn from people who succeed at something, or you can also learn from people who fail at something so I feel I have some good advice from a divorced guy. Pick Your Battles, and Your Battle Times Your spouse is not perfect. This you need to learn right up front. Your life will not be perfect. How you handle the reality of that is HUGE part of how your marriage will go. This doesn't mean you become a welcome mat for your spouse to walk over, but you do need to set realistic expectations. With this in mind, let some things roll off your back. Wait a day or two to see if it is still bugging you. If it is, then start thinking about how to bring it up, and more importantly when to bring it up. There is that whole "Don't go to bed mad at each other" and it's next to impossible if you bring up stuff AS YOU ARE GOING TO BED. For me, when my head hit the pillow I had two things on my mind, and if we weren't doing the first thing, I wanted to sleep. This is NOT the best time to bring up serious subjects. Your spouse is exhausted and wants to sleep. I know, let's dump some serious discussion on them, and see how they make decisions when their brain checked out hours ago. In the morning before work is a crappy way to start the day. As soon as you get home from work is awful because you want to relax. How about after dinner. Another tip I would add is give a warning shot. Maybe some time during the day send a "I need to talk to you tonight" text to let them know. While a "we need to talk" used to mean you are breaking up, now that you're married that option is off the table. Don't panic. Reinforce Your Commitment Let's face it, there will be times when things are said or done, and you are royally cheesed off. This happens. Remember, it's not going to be perfect. So if you are going to bed angry, try to remind your spouse that while you don't like them at the moment, you do love them. I know that's weird. Buy can you love a child who just spilled chocolate on the carpet? Sure. Well then, remember that you can be upset with someone and still love them. State that, "You know that really hurt me, and I'm upset. I want you to know that I still love you, and I'm sure we can work through this." Why I feel this is important is when you get into a bad situation, it may feel like everything you do is not good enough, that all you do is wrong, and that your relationship is doomed. A reminder that you are a team, and you will work through your problems might be a key to having a dialogue vs an argument. A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down If you need to point out something that needs work, the "bad news" might go down better if you add something positive to it first. "I love that you are such a (hard worker, good mom, etc) and I can see that when you (whatever they did) and I deeply appreciate it. Here is a way that take that great action and maximize the impact would be to ____. Don't Be A Buthead Be careful saying something nice up front if it is followed by "But..." as everything before the word But gets erased when you use it. This is really hard to do. I the love the way you do this, and that BUT when you.... that doesn't work. Know Your Schools of Thought on Marriage There are two schools of marriage (for me). Two complete people who choose to be together. Two incomplete people who choose to be together to complete each other (the Jerry McQuire Marriage). People Can Change But It's Never Easy By the time you get married, you are who you are for the most part. People can change, that is true. It's a bit like steering a giant cruise boat. Sure it can turn, but it takes time, and it is slow. If you are marrying someone and thinking later that annoying thing they do will change, you might want to reconsider. For one, if they do change it may be something that comes naturally, and consequently, it takes effort to not do something that is just like a reflex. So if you marry someone who drinks, and think later you can talk them into giving it up, you may be not so presently surprised. If you want someone to give up something they truly enjoy, it may happen along with this thing we call resentment. Have Something In Common You are going to be spending a lot time with this person, it would be nice if you could do things together that you BOTH enjoy. Be The Person Your Spouse Wants to Hang Out With You never get any time together. You finally do, don't spend that time telling your spouse they you never spend any time together. Instead tell them how much you miss them, and how great it is to spend time togeth

I went and saw Captain America Civil War, and I missed Batman Vs Superman. Why is everyone fighting? What is up with that? I also talk about "The new Normal" and why old people are grumpy.

Today Dave shares his insights from a tip to Michigan where Toyota owners are not exactly welcome. Really? This is how you get me to purchase your car in the future by punishing me? Then my phone went into roaming…. Why is channel 2 in Japanese? You've got to watch the Netflix show Making a Murderer. It's super interesting and keep in mind: If you are ever have a legal problem that relies on common sense, YOU'RE SCREWED The interesting thing is some of the people in this documentary are not that intelligent, and yet THEY STILL GET TO VOTE.

It's been 5 months since I've documented my life. I'm trying to do this without throwing people under the bus, pointing fingers, cause in the end – it doesn't matter. I am now divorced. Pointing fingers will not change that, so I take the high road and wish the best for my (oh, good God – now SECOND) ex-wife. So I'm living alone. Me and a cat. Bernie. I've never been a cat person, but Bernie is OK. There are times when its nice to just have another heartbeat under the roof. I'm not looking for as pitty party. It is what it is. I feel we did what we could. We spend thousands on counseling. We knew what to do, but thanks to our childhoods, our experiences, we are wired the way we are, and we couldn't change. As a teacher, I find this fact hard to believe. I believe in constant improvement. In the end, I guess a leopard can't change it's spots, and a Zebra can't change it's stripes. At that pint you either accept what you have (even if it's not exactly what you want) or you move on. Things I've Learned So Far Geese are pretty, but the crap on everything. It's one thing thing to have a robin poop on your car. Its a whole other story when its a goose. Toilet paper rolls last for MONTHS when there are no women in the house. It's easier to change the littler box daily for a few minutes, then to do it once a week. I am developing an unhealthy fear of the unknown. I'm worried I will blow my 50's worrying about my 70's. Play the Cards You're Dealt The choices I've made my life have got me to where I am. I can't change the past. I can only do the best with what is left.

I ruined an Angel. I did. There was an Angel in my mother-in-laws bathroom. Its been there for years. One day while peeing, I looked up and noticed it had something (maybe a book) in its one hand, and in the other it had a candle with no wick. A candle with no wick, and the top of it slight indentation around it. It looked falic. Now there are certain words you don't use around your mother-in-law. You are still trying to help be happy that her daughter is married to you. That's the plan at least. But one word I typically do not use around my mother in law "Dildo." So on the way home I told my wife (trying to be weird, shocking and goofy) "Why is the Angel in the bathroom holding a Dildo?" To this I believe my wife just said ," David?... sigh..." My warped sense of humor that she found unique as we were dating has lost its magic. Never in my life would I think my wife (my trusted and most intimate partner) would tell her mother, "Dave thinks the Angel in the bathroom is holding a Dildo." Now for the record, I was told my mother-in-law laughed (I am very lucky in the Mother in law department), but on the other hand I ruined the Angel. Nobody can look at the "Candle" anymore without thinking Dildo. Rumor has it, I may end up with it as a present as nobody can look at it anymore. I was thinking of all the Christmas specials and how one sided the are. In the aftermath of children getting shot by cops we are becoming a little cynical. We want to look at the other side. When I thought about it, here is what I came up with. Frosty Was a Pedophile Frosty the snowman could slide around without moving his feet (OK, he didn't have any) and he loved to play with Children. He sounds like Michael Jackson and that's when it came it me. Frosty was a pedophile Rudolph Had A Serious Coke Problem Rudolph stayed up thinking about leading Santa's sleigh. We think this was his dream, but really he was on a three day coke binge. His nose was Red because he did lots of coke. This is why Santa didn't want him guiding his sleigh. He knew Rudolph was going to crash unexpectedly, quickly, and Santa didn't want to die. It's funny how different smells and sound just zap you back to certain time and places. Every time I hear "Eruption" by Van Halen its 1978 and I'm sitting in Al School's bedroom with Scott Kenepp looking at the record player (it was 1978) just baffled as to how Eddie is making that noise. When I hear the song "Linus and Lucy" (what most people consider the Peanuts theme) I think we all can flash back to sitting in front of the television, of hurrying back because the commercials were almost over and the show was coming back on, and watching a Charlie Brown Christmas. I had a weird experience the other day. I was driving to Michigan and stopped at a rest area (the older I get I have to pee every 15 minutes). Maybe it was the smell of diesel fuel and the sound of trucks, but for a second I really felt like my Dad was standing right behind me. It's so strange to miss someone so much you rarely saw. I didn't turn around, but it was just a very strange feeling. It was cold outside, but I was suddenly warm. I just felt his presence. It's strange how much someone who didn't see a whole lot at the end of his life. But in a way my Dad was like a Charlie Brown Christmas. You know every year he's going to be there. How weird would it be if all of the sudden they just didn't broadcast that? Well that's how I feel this year. It's not surprising after all. The holidays always make us think of family, but for the record I miss you Dad and I'm really going to miss you telling me the same thing you told me the last time I visited you. Alzheimers sucked, but it was better than nothing. Nothing. Nothing sucks. I will forever associate the word "home" with being wrapped in the supper thick black comforter we had after playing in the freezing snow, and having mom bring me some hot chocolate. Christmas music on the stereo, and staring at our tree. Peace, warmth, and love. The world' best combination. Last night I was sitting in my mother in law's awesome home. I had all my kids there, we were decorating the tree. We were making fun of ornaments made long ago (Why is Santa carrying a giant green bean?). At point we were running out of room for ornaments and all the cool ornaments were on the tree so I sat down, and I pulled out my phone and plugged it into a portable speaker and started playing Harry Belefonte's Christmas album. Every year I play Harry Belefonte's Christmas album while decorating the tree and I'm right back in my living room with Mom making hot chocolate. I just wanted to suck it in. Here are my step kids. One is married, one is in college with a serious boyfriend in South Carolina, and one getting ready to go to College. Who knows how many of these we will have. Soon they all will have in-laws and it's a crap shoot to get them all together. So I just sat there and watched my beautiful wife, my awesome kids finish decorating a

Today I share a story about playing an outdoor festival with my band "The $ugar Daddies" on a July fourth weekend. We headlined this outdoor festival. The bad news is nobody had tested the power going to the flatbed truck along with the power so that by the time my band took the stage we needed the lights. The bad news as is soon as we turned them on, the power would trip a breaker. The solution? We had to play the indoor stage where there was no air conditioning and it was easy 95+ degrees with the giant holiday weekend crowd. It was one of those nights that everybody was hitting on all points and we just had that groove. Everything was just working. Then it came time for me to do the Song "Texas Flood" by Stevie Ray Vaughn. This was a song that I just got to "Go Off" on and have fun. To this day, it was like being hit by lightning. I felt what I wanted to play from my toes and it just shot out my fingers. It was awesome. The crowd reacted. It was a feeling like no other. The band lasted a few more years, but we started flipping musicians, playing smaller clubs and we eventually fizzled out. For me, July 4th at the Northside was in the top 5 gigs. Opening for Blue Oyster Cult was another one. So one of the old trumpet players contacts me and he's trying to get a band together that is close to what my old band played. I've been in so many bands that just didn't work for so many reasons. This sounds promising. I'm a bit nervous as I might get really disappointed. I want that feeling one more time, so I'm going to go chase that high. e.

This week I am home alone (feel free to put your hands on your face and make a face like Macaulay Culkin). I did something I hardly ever do. Nothing. I sat on the couch and petted my cat. It is here where I learned why I love working on my next project. This might be reading or listening to a book, thinking of the next product I want to create, etc. When I'm not thinking about things coming in the future, I think about the past. I don't like to think about the past. I sat there and reality let me know that my Dad was really gone. The cards I had been dealt, were gone. Game over. I had a good old fashioned cry. It felt good in the end. My cat was very confused. Looking Forward I prefer to look forward, and see a picture of an improved life. One where I help people. One where I leave the planet a better place. I often fall asleep at my desk. I then get up, and go home. I bop till I drop in the immortal words of Rick Springsfield. I'm OK with that. Relaxation is over rated in my book. It doesn't compare to the adrenaline rush of new ideas, of creativity pulsing in my veins. No contest. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

www.betterdave.com

Today I talk about the train wreck that was American Idol 13.

When I was 24, my mother passed away from her second (well technically third) heart attack. It was April 27, 1989. It had been 6 years since she had passed. As someone who talks in public for a living (teaching technology) it didn't seem like a stretch to take two of my passions (teaching and God) and put them together. At least that's what the Pastor's assistant thought when she asked me to sub for him and do a sermon titled, "What my Mother meant to me" on Mother's Day. This would be the sermon that would "Launch" my role as a pastor in training (a course that later went away from this church and landed on the Internet). As this is Mother's day, I thought I would share it with you. The audio quality is very 1989 (originally recorded on a cassette deck)

Today I talk about turning 49, and making the same mistakes our parents made. The website is www.betterdave.com

I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken." It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place "business casual" as the new dress code). We were told, "Here are the packages." Packages? I just need a picture. What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a "Package." That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you. SCREW YOU SANTA! SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON!

Today Dave talks about the disgust that Dave is feeling based on the current holiday season

Today I talk about putting me dog to sleep. The behind the scenes story. FUN!

First things first. I am NOT taking light the horrible situation these women went through. What I'm pointing out is the media, and asking the question, "Do they help create these monsters?" Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, Michelle Knight are free. Praise God.On the other hand, I commend Charles Ramsey for doing the right thing. He now has t-shirts, and a lot of attention. It should be interested to see what he does with the spotlight.

Today I talk about how the University of Akron has no clue about customer service, how my ethics class is a bunch of crap.

Today I talk about my trip to Vegas

Today we have a short show where I am motivated by the fillings being rattled out of my jaw because of loud music at a restauarant to record a podcast. Our website is betterdave.com

Today I talk about a new twist the justice department through into the mix - a restraining order. I had no contact with my wife for weeks.

Today I talk about my night in jail. Whatever you do, do what you have to do to stay on this side of the bars.

Today I talk about moving out of my house after some serious arguing gets out of control. I contemplate what is the difference between courage and stupidity. Music links at betterdave.com

Today I wrap up my discussion of 2010. Time to look forward. Thank you all for listening.

Today I talk about not blowing off Mothers Day, and how shields can't always protect you. Our website is betterdave.com

Today I share some confusion that I felt after reading some scripture in Judges 13-16. Our website is betterdave.com

Today I talk about Forgiveness, and strange circumstances that lead me to believe God wants me to work on my marriage. Our website is betterdave.com