Brilliant Observations

Black Friday and New Year's cards - do you throw them away? Xmas and Chanukah decorations Who buys the gifts? Our society is going to shit - literally, why does everything for sale have to shit? Jess is being a big baby about our weekend girls' trip We discuss people we hate - which for John includes people who tell him what to wear Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Thanksgiving plans What does cheese NOT enhance People I hate: rude about outfits at a party Million dollar idea: favors for favors More people I hate: GUM CRACKERS MMMM THE BOBBIE Skinning people to use their tattoos for art - what the actual fuck Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

John is sad this time of year. Is that curable? Or can he suck it up? Punctuation is so very important - first hand job experience. Would you confess or not confess? Jess is the only one who believes the truth is always best. (shocker!) Urban Dictionary hilarity Which thing happened first? Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

It's our 1 year anniversary! Do we NEED to force our kids to get chicken pox, and is it child abuse? There's not TOO big a diff between political fact or opinion What's the grossest thing your kid has done? Does Jess or her friend win? John is finally identifying humble-brag-mainsplainers and Jess is super proud. Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Plastic straw people: is this really a problem? John says nahhh. Letters to Mel's friend (and Jess) about how sad they are re: the Pittsburgh synagogue Who comes at the end and tries to snake all the cake? Are you a picky eater? Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Lasting App https://www.getlasting.com/ John now has a million dollar idea - or is it #girlsdopoop - amazing entertainment A teenager who baked cookies with her grandfather's ashes...because teenagers are psychotic Billion dollar Powerball!! What would you buy? Podcast Rodeo is Jess's fave! Nitwit of the week: https://www.goupstate.com/news/20181015/man-shot-after-triggering-his-own-booby-trap What makes YOU feel like an adult….or a teenager? Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa's dog has Pneumonia and it has traumatized her. John and Jess talk about when is it time to send family pets into the light. Jess has another Mother in Law rant - innocent until acting guilty. John finds happiness in Canada, eh? What is the best and worst Halloween candy? Also, Melissa's favorite, Listener Feedback Paul Simon on SNL https://youtu.be/M8cd1h6UWj8 Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Why Missy hates Twitter Phrases that belong at the dinner table AND the bedroom Dancing with the Stars Juniors - Miss has demanded we all get addictedThe worst possible thing - wolf spiders in Melissa's house https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_spider#/media/File:Wolf_spider_attack_position.jpg Maggots and spiders and cooking bugs: oh my! Mayo - where DOES it belong? Flu shots - what do we think? Jess has a 'special' opinion Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa's Million Dollar business idea Jess's great business idea Kavanaugh and reporting sexual abuse Jess feels horrible for Monica Lewinsky Celebrity unreasonable demands Top 5 cookie Debate Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Believing in god vs. going to high holiday services Is eating pork moral, just because it's delicious? Can John work with his daughter - or better yet, can she work with HIM? Would you put your own kid in jail for murder? We discuss overrated bands - John hates The Grateful Dead!! John also hates people in the drive-thru Melissa has bad stick shift karma Why Melissa is the best mom Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Rosh Hashanah celebrations - Melissa thought about how to learn through failure Jess was served tongue and promptly had Yom Kippur early. Secret talents we don't even know we have Don't ignore kids that are delightful even if they're strange Stop soliciting your kid's stuff! The dicks that stole the homeless guy's money Melissa can't stand others who can't control their hair Professional cuddlers - how do we feel about it? Jess's new book idea Comedians - should they get faster absolution? Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

We discuss gender-neutral language and what's worth keeping and what's ridiculous Melissa delivers an astounding round of "would you rather" We all try our American history knowledge with "who said it" Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com tlsi6OU2ECEeCLHjMDo6

John reflects on a magical week with Sam Jess reflects on a very nonmagical week with her family Not that you asked but...the Made in America Fest is not for 14-year-olds! People we hate: if you have toe fungus, put on a sock!!! Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

John wants to start dying his hair bc women do it People I hate - bitter jealous people who revel in others' misery Don't be ratting us out to the ones we hate. Jerks. Should we give our kids plastic surgery? Who said it - child or serial killer John reads the worst humblebrags ever Who said it - Donald Trump or Kanye West Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa is torn about having all her favorite friends in her life every day Jess discusses whether or not it's ok to keep your toddlers from ALL males as a rule, even if they're trustworthy family members Mouth noises John hates when people text you and then freak out when you don't write back Melissa recommends The Package on Netflix - boner humor Cotton Candy Grapes and the panic that ensues if you see them Lies parents tell - these are HILARIOUS Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Body positivity and dieting - and sewing your mouth shut Can mallomars give you joy? Mindless mallomar eating Not that you asked me ….. If your cat runs away to a neighbor, is that still your cat? People I hate, a husband and wife who have the same email address. Also: WHY do people sit next to each other in a restaurant Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

John plays a game of "name that sound" and believe me, this sound is worth listening to What's your Karaoke song? Jess and John give their Podcast Movement review Melissa's assessment of British public toilets Mel breaks the no-carbs to eat all the bread and cheese Brits want to talk about the prez when they find out you're American, apparently What's your ideal vacation? Could you be roasted? Why or why not? What's the worst smell? It's not dog farts. Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

How petty are you? What do you hate? Elsie from She Podcast darkens a hotel when she tries you use a quarter to pry out a plug. Let's Connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa's Q of the day - what is your worst trait? John says he's emotionally reactive. Jess is too impatient with people. Melissa is a huge procrastinator. People I hate: If your dog is not friendly, don't be on your cell while you're walking the dog. Don't boss us around on Facebook. And lastly, STOP BEING OFFENDED BY EVERYTHING. Let's Connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa goes to Visiting Day with slutty brownies $100 on Amazon every day Isaac lifts mommy's dress to hide 19 rules that are unwritten everyone seems to follow - Cracked.com (http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_2501_19-unwritten-rules-that-everyone-seems-to-follow/) Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Poor Isaac and Benadryl Fruit Picking Friends and your partner's friends Melissa's parents, and what happened to dad when the evil set in C filter What are you watching on Netflix? John doesn't get Parks and Rec and The Office We discuss people we hate, especially golf and all things golf Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Do you wash your feet? Apparently, there are 2 types of people. Let's talk shower agenda! BDE! Who has it, who doesn't can a person have it all the time? Melissa and I discuss who we know that has BDE - a little bit. John is irritated that ALL our friends don't listen to the show. But Missy and Jess don't care. We help Elizabeth with her problem - sort of. Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa looks like a maniac full of happiness dropping the kids at camp Why is Isaac playing with other people's parents? Sugar addiction continues People Melissa and Jessica hate Anyone who clips nails in earshot needs to be shot The Connors - redoing the show without Roseanne Woman steals from another mom at a school - do they get kicked out? What about the kid? Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Isaac wants to be a scoopy diaper and cause trouble Melissa has dropped off trunks at camp If your 5-year-old breaks something valuable - how responsible are you for their behavior? How much kid behavior is the parent's responsibility This kid in Kansas - DEFINITELY the parent's fault We discuss our first and favorite concert Analyzing the Howard Stern show again Who do we hate? People who don't apologize and people who play with their feet on the plane Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Melissa is on vacation in FL! That bitch. We try our hand at making friends with other parents New segment - people we hate Camp - how young is too young to go to camp, and for how long? Why is it ok for Melissa's kids to go away for 8 weeks but not to Japan for 2? Melissa wants to control everything about Ethan's love life. Ew. Why do we always want everything to be over? Jess thinks this is a medication issue. Let's connect! Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant Email: [email protected] Show notes: www.brilliantobservations.com

Ethan prepares for 4 exams and a cruise around Japan! When was your last good parenting moment? The gang talk about when parenting goes right - and wrong Embarrassing kid stories - how have they embarrassed you the most? Are you the mom friend? Melissa is 74% mom friend. Jess is 25% The recipes Melissa should perfect. Meatloaf Cornflake Chicken Scampi Butter with pasta Stir fry and/or Asian chicken salad Breakfast for dinner Apricot chicken Turkey Breast Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Scary Flying Shark - stuck in our heads thanks to Isaac Memorial Day Weekend adventures Vitamins on an empty stomach - Melissa won't do that again Too many emails - Melissa has 11,000! Jess butters her laptop, not the good way Chocolate porn - Junior's cheesecake Katy Perry is super awkward Thoughts on the royal wedding Cobra Kai - all three of us LOVE IT The gang talks about Memorial Day and what went down, Jess butters her laptop and not the good way and John buys cheesecake AS WE SPEAK. Enjoy this week's episode of Brilliant Observations! Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Jessica can't sleep and when she is overtired things get real. Jess is going to "The City" that never sleeps Melissa is still on a low carb diet. But there might be cracks in her willpower. The girls fantasize about hiring a chef to make them healthy meals. Jessica is stressing about what to wear to New York. What do you wear that distracts from a neck waddle? Jess wants to be Pearl on the inside and Slayer on the outside. Melissa is preparing for 4 days without Stu. (Something always happens when Stu leaves) Laurel or Yanny? Melissa is excited about the Murphy Brown, Munsters, Magnum PI Reboots. Wildest catfish dating stories. Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

This week John's computer is broken so it's just the gals. We discuss Mother's Day we participate in for others, getting our kids to confess, more guilty pleasures and HBO repeat movies. Good times! Melissa's Mother's Day Scary movies - not plausible to Jess How to pound a chicken Grandma Pearl's candy drawer Calyx flowers Jess's Mother's Day Bedtime is confession time Hollywood Darlings - Melissa's guilty pleasure Melissa has been watching American Idol There's a contestant that reminds Melissa of an old boyfriend/hookup HBO movies on repeat - remember these? Little Known Facts Ad tracking instructions Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Melissa ponders over how to keep Stu happy and busy through retirement even though they are at least 20 years off, the gang discusses guilty pleasures, we read some audience feedback and Jess rates everyone's prudish behavior. Enjoy! Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Jess's adventures in NOT thinking Homeland, Requiem, and Hot Fuzz - check them out! Last 2 are on Netflix. Melissa discusses how she's a shitty friend Jess asks if it's enough to recognize our shortcomings, or do we have to make HUGE efforts to do better as well? Michelle Wolf's correspondent's dinner - was she bullying? Whole Foods partners with Asian restaurant Yellow Fever and the gang discuss how offensive this name is on all levels Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Jessica is still feeling the effects her bruised coconut. John and Jessica commiserate over concussion symptoms Melissa is very observant. John tells a concussion story Jessica's Mother in Law might move in with Jessica Princess Melissa won't sleep on the floor Pet stories ensue, Melissa is horrified John tells the story of giving his dog a chicken rubbin' Public Service Announcement: Don't use a spoon found on a counter The Brilliant's try and rescue a bluejay and Mama bird attacked Stu. Hair dryers can dry more than just hair (Great for drying the underboob) Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Jess and John do stand up comedy!! Jess's material evolves. John + liquid courage = a great show. Jessica falls on a broken sidewalk - or like we say - slid into home on her face. Abrasion stories. What does it take for you to put a sticker on your car? Would you leave your kid at this house? A house with guns? Tide pods ;)? Nail polish porn colors. Jessica confesses that she is prejudice. Jessica feels that reality TV is the beginning of the end for our society. John stopped following Jess on social media, And shares his views on privilege. Jess hates when people announce that they are leaving social media. Melissa's French story has us rollin'!! Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Jess goes over comedy class and lessons so far Outside Melissa's box - matcha tea and avocado on a gluten free bagel Bad parenting - the sequel - Melissa finds proof that we were right last week as if there were any doubt already The stupid premise of C*ck Blockers - the movie Jess talks about the circumstances surrounding losing her virginity Stupid things people brag about Stupid reasons we dump people FECAL RAINBOW IN THE PIEHOLE We get some podcast feedback that we may or may not implement Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

Easter! What's your favorite candy? John's Chinese food story Melissa gets hot under the collar with the ladies of middle school Calling someone a bad parent in a school meeting Melissa's looooong list of nightmares from her LA trip Comedy writing April Fool's day - John was cheated out of his holiday Appropriate cereal fruits TARGET DELIVERY! YAAASSS Melissa has to explain cock ring to her son :( Why is packing the worst??? Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram

In this episode, Melissa tries to dive deep into everyone's psyche and find out what our realest fears are - but it turns out hers is by far the weirdest one. We also discuss our ideal riders and what we would demand if we were celebs - Jess has read all the good ones and knows exactly how detailed things need to be! Don't miss this episode! Listen now. Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Kids embarrassing you at family functions Melissa meets 2 celebs in NYC - Laurie Metcalf Melissa enjoys being a VIP Roseanne reboot - we are all SO excited Food prefs and John's coleslaw recipe Everyone eats tuna differently Melissa quizzes us on all the appliances What would YOU do for a million bucks Look at the horrifying photos https://www.buzzfeed.com/luisdelvalle/which-of-these-gross-things-would-you-do?utm_term=.nn X4KArwp#.txzb8QWxm Please Connect With Us On Social Media Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Marco Polo - do you use it? You should, but Melissa shouldn't when she is drinking. What is your favorite Tastykake? Tastykake vs. Hostess vs. Drakes cakes Melissa talks to herself. Alot. Is Starbucks coffee overrated? John recaps the O.J. Simpson interview. Dunkin Donuts gets rid of the onion bagel - let's revolt!!! Jessica shares a sex study. Porn...Therapy...Have you had enough sex? Melissa's kid rats her out. Please Connect With Us On Social Media Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Running a race for Attack Addiction - Scott's worried about showing my boobs to ex-hubs Schitts' Creek - best show ever. Pink Carnations Kevin Smith had a massive heart attack Replacement sayings for "thoughts and prayers." An explanation of the concept of "who knows you the best" Who will you become? Hosts discuss how it related to the evolution of the show as we ourselves evolve Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Happy President's Day!! Jessica wades outside of her box. Melissa shares the love of the friendships that have become family. John learns the laws of keeping kosher. The topic for today is… Do I'm Sorry work? Q: Are you holding any grudges? A: YES! We all deal with tragedy & confrontation differently. J & M discuss disappointing friendships. Jess deals with bad behavior in her daycare. Do you subscribe and save? Amazon? Chewy? John shares his thoughts on Lent and religion. Happy Day!!

Jessica spent some much needed time away from home. One day at Universal for scream therapy made it a rewarding trip. Jessica talks about her life re-entry class and how it led her back to her first love...tap dancing!! What are the best TV sitcoms of all time?? Facebook sharing/lurking/memorial pages. What is your legacy? Valentine's nonsense - flowers! chocolate! dinner! elephant bags? coupon books!! What kind of vacations did you take as a kid? Melissa brought her kid's tix to see her favorite performer - and will force them to like it. Neil Diamond is amazing, but not for everyone. Did you see concerts as a kid? What were your favorites? Jess and Melissa reminisce about a college spring break. In closing - a sad mom story and Melissa is a terrible joke teller. Happy Valentine's Day!! Please Connect With Us On Social Media: Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

In this Episode: What role does SPITE play in your life? Jess uses it as her motor and Melissa wants to 'let it go' Health check for Melissa's dogs as well as John. It wouldn't be our show without some poop talk. Melissa discusses her F*@Ked up family dynamic which leads beautifully Into Jessica's parenting challenges. Melissa & Jess do their best to explain overnight camp to John. John doubles down on his hate for Will Ferrell. 101 uses for VapoRub Stuart is a prince And Jessica heads to Florida! Please Connect With Us On Social Media Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Melissa loses sleep over the weight of family management, home ownership, and filter replacement. We discuss our value. John poses the time-honored question of when you should begin dating after your spouse dies. Would we remarry? Jessica is hilarious and demands to be appreciated. John hates Will Farrell - we agree to disagree. What qualifies as a celebrity, John is impossible, and Jessica has technical difficulties. Basically, a hot mess, but not to be missed. Facebook Twitter Instagram Email

Join us as: Jess deals with hair coloring issues, Melissa's kids get crap for having a mom who pods, Potty training disasters; one step forward and two steps back, Jess has an identity crisis, Hear one of our first fan letters, AND, Jess imagines and then meets her soulmate. We also discuss the question - Is the iPhone X only for pretentious douchebags? Finally, we get to hear Jess do impressions and use accents like a champ! Thanks for listening!!!

Melissa is the WORST and her son wants to podcast about it. The girls share 'Mommy Dearest' stories. Jessica loves the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, but is conflicted. Another innocent dinner takes a turn for Melissa's family. The girls look at words and phrases with racist roots - John wonders if society is too sensitive. What smells trigger memories for Jess and John? Contact Us Gmail Facebook Twiter Instagram

Melissa gets caught in the act by her daughter - luckily nothing was seen but lots of emotions were felt. Jess and John discuss weight loss strategies and why Weight Watchers pisses Jess off, and why intermittent fasting might work for John. Then Melissa distracts us all with a weather app that curses you out while informing you of weather. Enjoy! Contact Us Gmail Facebook Twiter Instagram

After a break for the holidays, the girls are back with lots of stories. This episode swings from vomiting to weightlifting to choosing the best french fry. When was the last time you full-on vomited? Poor Jess had the stomach flu so sadly it wasn't that long ago. Melissa travels outside of her box to try kettlebells and the three discuss which fries are the best. Please keep in touch! Email Facebook Twitter Instagram

In this episode, Jess and Missy take a 2-hour ride to a memorial for someone they never met. Hilarity ensues? Well, Jessica finally gets to hear Melissa's singing voice, after 25 years of friendship! Enjoy! Please keep in touch! [email protected] http://www.facebook.com/listenbrilliant http://www.twitter.com/listenbrilliant http://www.instagram.com/listenbrilliant

This week, Thanksgiving is afoot! Melissa talks about her eventful trip to the ER with the in-laws, Jess is horrified at the Pavlov training of her youngest, and we do a F, Marry and Kill with Thanksgiving foods! Good times!

We may or may not have tanked it on this one with tangents. We'll let you be the judge. Melissa proposes a new segment by letting her daughter sing about her box and they discuss ketchup and mayo ice cream.