Breaking Bread Podcast

Play lies at the center of life for a child, and it should. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amy Mammadov, a speech language pathologist, along with Brian Sutter, shine light on this important aspect of human growth and development. Additionally, parents should encourage, teach, evaluate and share in the enjoyment of play with our children. Show notes: Encourage Play: Play is critical in the development of language, thought and human relations. Teach Play: The norms and technology of the day have stunted play. Some children need to be taught how to play. Evaluate Play: Not all play is equal. Many toys and forms of amusement today are adult directed play. Child directed play, on the other hand, provides rich areas of growth and potential. Utilize Play: Playing with your child gives you insights into where they are developmentally and provides an opportunity to model healthy reasoning. Share in the enjoyment of play: Shared enjoyment is key. If play is anything at all, it is fun. Parents are encouraged to connect with their children at the level of shared fun.

Exploration is a prerequisite to having a settled identity. For parents with kids unsettled and exploring, this can be a frightening time. What role do we play in the exploration process? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter will help us sort it out. Show notes: Identity: Is the sense of self – Who I am and who I am not. Identity Formation: Starts with exploration and ends with commitment. Exploration is trying, investigating, experiencing, researching. Commitment is being settled, resolved and grounded. Identity Culture in "the west": It is constructed individually. This means that the community has a limited influence on placing an identity on an individual. Rather, the individual has the ownness of discovering and embracing their identity. Challenge: Our young people are saddled with the task of sorting out their identity for themselves. Angst: Watching young people explore their identity. Opportunity: Support and guide exploration in community. As possible, try not to rigidly force closure on those in the exploration phase. Rather, have dialogue that prompts healthy exploration. Thoughtful open-ended questions, and critical thinking prompts are necessary to guide wise investigation. Have patience in the process with a goal to maintain relationship. Fear: Suppose an unwise identity is chosen? Remember: Where there is life, there is experience. Where there is experience, there is exploration. Where there is exploration, there is hope yet for a good commitment.

We all know that the body is made up of different members. Members one of another. The hand needs the foot. The eye needs the ear. But even more profound than these examples is the uncommon humility that my non-dominate left hand has with my dominate right. Similar in frame and made to do everything the right hand can… it performs well, but not as well. Yet it serves my body selflessly and without dissention. In this podcast we will listen and learn from our non-dominate hands a lesson on cooperation and being a member one of another. An Imagined Interview with my Left Hand: Me: When did you learn that I was going to be what they call "right-handed?" Left-hand: I learned this early. I noticed you were using the right hand to lead and do the more sensitive tasks. Me: Do you compare yourself with the right? Left-hand: I don't. My right hand does his job so well, and I'm glad. I do my job well. Me: What do you understand your job to be? Left-hand: My job is to be a good left-hand complement to the right-hand. Me: How do you understand your relationship to be with the right-hand? Left-hand: I don't see myself separate from my right-hand. We are of the same body. Everything we do separately or together comes from you and is for you. You get the credit for anything we do, and you should. Me: Do you get jealous of the right hand? Left-hand: No, not at all. I know you are pleased with me and that's all that matters.

The Christian life has music interwoven into its fabric. We use it to worship God. We are instructed to sing. It should not be surprising then to learn that music has the potential to benefit the mind and emotion. In this episode, music therapist Nick Lanz gives us tips on how to use music therapeutically. Show notes: Music Therapy: The clinical & evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program. What do music therapists do?​ Assess emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses. Design music sessions for individuals and groups based on client needs using various musical interventions. Participate in interdisciplinary treatment planning, ongoing evaluation, and follow up.​ Music therapy interventions for mental health can address a variety of healthcare & educational goals: Develop healthy coping skills Identify/express/explore emotions Process trauma Improve depressive symptoms Decrease anxiety/agitation Promote relaxation Promote positive thinking/self-esteem Develop sense of belonging/community Promote positive social interaction/group cohesion Address loneliness, grief, loss and stigma that persist despite treatment Develop independence/decision-making skills Manage stress Promote wellness "Music therapists use music to accomplish non-musical goals." There are four main approaches: Receptive Music listening Song discussion/lyric analysis Music-assisted relaxation/progressive muscle relaxation Can also include music for sleep Movement & music Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music (requires post-graduate training) Re-creative Instrument instruction Instrument playing Sing-along Recording sessions Compositional Therapeutic songwriting (multiple methods) Improvisational Instrumental/vocal improvisation Drum circle/instrumental circle (groups)

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it. Show notes: What does making peace with pain mean? Answer: Making peace with pain happens when we change our relationship with pain. Instead of orbiting the pain, we are freed from the unhealthy attachment we have with it. While pain may remain, we are able to live with it as a part of our story but it does not govern our identity. Pain has its proper effect on our lives - not too much, yet not ignored. Why is making peace with pain important? Answer: Pain unattended has a tendency to generate unhealthy attachments in our lives. We orbit closely to the pain. Some will try to soothe the pain by unhealthy means. Others will over identify with the pain. Still others will expend tremendous energies to change circumstances to make the pain go away. As a result, we become less responsive to our present lives because pain management requires so much attention. We don't live well now. How do we know if there is pain in our lives for which peace needs to be made? Answer: If we have a past relationship with our pain and not a present relationship we may need to make peace with pain. This can be seen in our response to present circumstances. For example, if we react to present circumstances inappropriately, our past pain may be speaking. How do we make peace with pain? Answer: We make peace with pain by first understanding that God is present with us in our pain. We are not alone. Alowing yourself to sit with God in your pain is a healthy exercise. Next, acceptance will need to be practiced. Acceptance is letting go of circumstances that are not and will not be. It includes a trust that God loves you, is good and sees a wider expanse. For some pain, forgiveness will need to be extended to the offending parties.

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.

One of the pains of parenting is watching your children make poor choices. What should we do when there is not much we can do? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling speak to the do's and don'ts of parenting through these challenges. Show Notes: So your child made the wrong decision. Remember this Mom and Dad: Hang in there with them. Protect your relationship with them. Have a posture of grace with them. Be learners together. Allow natural consequences to teach. Help them learn from their decisions. Speak truth in love. Don't over personalize their decision. Lean on the larger community to speak truth into their life. Give it time. Trust in prayer.

Spiritual disciplines are ancient. Yet they are growing in popularity with our contemporary Christian culture. What are common cautions that should accompany our wise application of spiritual disciplines? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk helps us understand four cautions: legalism, agency, syncretism and mysticism. Show Notes: Spiritual disciplines are those practices we habitually do in the body that form us into Christlikeness. Reading the Word, silence, solitude, fasting, tithing, fellowship are just a few of many. Many spiritual disciplines are classic. Practices employed by Christ and faithful believers for thousands of years. Understanding the "shadow" of a thing is important for wise and healthy use. We want to have this circumspect understanding of spiritual disciplines. Without it, we can fall into ditches that are unhelpful. Consider four trappings to be thoughtful about. Legalism: Legalism is an unhealthy relationship with performance. At its worst, dependence on performance erroneously replaces faith in Christ. We need to remember the following… Spiritual disciplines are not our morality. Spiritual disciplines are not our performance. Spiritual disciplines are not our forgiveness. Spiritual disciplines do not secure merit with God. Agency: When employing spiritual disciplines, we can become confused with who is at the source of the effort. Is it us? Is it God? We need to remember the following: We do not control our spiritual growth; rather we make ourselves available to God through the practices to be formed by him. God is the first source behind any practice. Syncretism: Syncretism is the blending or merging of different religious beliefs and practices. Many different religious faiths, as well as atheism, share bodily practices that on the outside look the same. We need to remember the following: Many bodily disciplines will benefit human beings regardless of walk of life or religious beliefs. However, these are not uniquely Christian unless we are employing them to grow in Christ likeness. Mysticism: By mysticism, we mean experiencing God in ways that transcend ordinary sensory perception and intellectual understanding. If applied unhealthily, the believer can develop errant ideas about God that are steeped in individual experience. We need to remember the following: Our discipleship experience with God should never contradict the Bible. Be accountable to the larger Christian community. Include other people in your discipleship journey with Christ.

This episode of Breaking Bread, Fred Witzig and Erica Steffen give us a history lesson. Not a history lesson about our past. But a lesson about how to capture our past into history. Oral history is the means for getting this done. Fred and Erica will both explain how to carry out this collection of history as well as cast a vision for our participation in a larger Elder Teaching Resource effort.

Hope exists. Depression is not a life sentence. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Ted Witzig Jr. chart the course for walking through depression to the other side. Show notes: There are different kinds of depression. Treatments can vary. However, the path through depression typically has three benchmarks. The first is changing behavior. The second is a shift in thinking. The third is an improved mood. 1. Behavior activation: · Physical activity: moving the body. · Social interaction: engaging with people. · Meaningful activities: engage in small, doable things in a consistent manner to develop a sense of competency. 2. Engage thinking through counseling: · Challenge negative self-talk through healthy truth based in Scripture. · Medicine (in some cases) can be beneficial in helping the mind think well and engage the therapeutic treatment. 3. Positive mood shifts follow improved thinking.

Depression is real and prevalent. Many live in the felt reality that the skies are cloudy, and no sun exists behind them. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Ted Witzig Jr. speak to the realities of depression - what it is, what it feels like, and what effect it has on living. Show notes: What it is: Clinical depression is a mental condition that flags five of the following nine symptoms: · Sad or depressed mood. · Loss of interest in things once appreciated. · Weight loss or weight gain. · Sleep loss or sleep gain. · Agitated and "keyed up" or sluggish and "slowed .down". · Loss of energy and motivation. · Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt. · Decreased concentration. · Wanting to die. What it feels like: · Depression feels like driving with the brake on. Everything is more difficult. Joy is snuffed out of life. Stressors overwhelm resources. The sky is grey, with no hope of clouds parting. If they did part, no sun exists beyond them anyhow. What effect it has on living: · Depression tends to a spiraling downward. Natural reactions to depression tend toward being unhelpful rather than helpful. Depression tends toward isolation and isolation tends towards a further depressed state. Hopelessness tends toward inactivity and inactivity tends toward failure to meet work deadlines. Depression exasperates itself. How can helpers help? · Help people reverse the downward spiral with small incremental steps in the positive direction. Do this, not by giving orders but by coming along side hurting individuals.

While we might lean more towards left or right brain thinking, we use them both. In fact, it is important we do. And we can. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kaleb Beyer and Kathy Knochel help us understand how important it is that we connect with people with both halves of our brain.

Two halves make a whole. This is true for everything. But it is uniquely true for our brains. Each half, the left and the right, bring a wholeness that without either one, we are much less than half. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kaleb Beyer and Kathy Knochel help us better understand the vast wonder of our created brains and give us a vision for healthy functioning that uses whole brain living. Show notes: The left brain (hemisphere) is understood to be the seat of rational logic. It excels in language, math and science. The right brain (hemisphere) is understood to be the seat of emotional perception. It excels in music, art and fantasy. It is common that people tend toward one side over the other. That is, they view the world, engage in relationships and respond to their environments by leading with one side of the brain over the other. Whole brain living is seeking to understand the value that each brain hemisphere brings. It is possible to grow in our ability to use whole brain thinking. In fact, whole brain living will aid connection in our relationships, understanding of other people, processing our environments and the worship of God.

Music and verse capture, preserve, and allows the participant to access deep truths with a melody that matches the beauty, mystery and hope of the message. This is what we have in Christmas hymnody. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Katie Miller, Arlan Miller, Isaac Funk, Shauna Streitmatter and Matt Kaufmann share their favorite Christmas lyrics that capture the wonder of Christmas – God with us. Show notes: Arlan: O Little Town of Bethlehem by Phillips Brooks The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight. Isaac: In the Bleak Midwinter by Christina Rossetti, Angels and archangels may have gathered there, Cherubim and Seraphim thronged the air; but His Mother only, in Her maiden bliss Worshiped the beloved with a kiss. Shauna: O Holy Night, by Placide Cappeau The King of kings lay once in lowly manger, In all our trials born to be our friend; He knows our need, To our weakness is no stranger. Behold your king. Katie: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day by Henry W. Longfellow In despair I bowed my head "There is no peace on Earth," I said For hate is strong and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men … Then rang the bells more loud and deep God is not dead, nor doth He sleep" Matt: Angels, From the Realms of Glory by James Montgomery Justice now revokes the sentence, Mercy calls you, break your chains.

Parenting our children through the highs and lows of our technological world can be a challenge. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Jon Moser provides us with four helps. He gives us one technology lesson to instruct our children in. He gives us one technology danger to protect our children from. He provides one issue that we should be able to engage our children about and he gives us one redeeming quality that technology offers our kids. Show Notes: Instructive: · Help your kids understand how social media algorithms work to populate their feeds. Help them understand the goals of the social media platform. Protective: · Protect your family's privacy. Encourage the use of privacy settings on social media platforms. Have a conversation about contact lists and who should be allowed into them. Consider using a VPN to protect against malware infection. · Example: protonvpn.com Engaging: · Engage with your children about technology use. Have a discussion about using technology well. Learn to identify when technology is controlling us. Learn to detach from technology and connect with the real world. Redeeming: · Technology can be used well. When we are better able to redeem our time because of the convenience of technology, we are using it well. Connecting loved ones across distances offers wonderful advantages.

With all the voices speaking into our teenage girls today, let's be sure ours is one. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Katie Miller turn up the volume on 3 critical ideas from which our teenage girls would benefit. And it's no surprise, God very much wants to speak into these important matters. Show notes: Three things teen girls should know: 1. Learn the sound of your inner voice. · Learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy self-talk. · Learn to tune out unhealthy self-talk. 2. Learn to see your identity through God's eyes. · Learn the difference between identities that come to us from this world and those that come to us from God. · Learn to tune in to who God has created you to be. 3. Learn to see yourself as an image-bearer of God. · Learn to detect where your self-image is coming from. · Learn that your value and worth come from God. Resources https://accounseling.org/spiritualgrowth/women/young-women-support/ JJ Heller song

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that "makes all things beautiful in his time." This truth is curious. It would seem that God has an intention beyond making things right. Or making things work. Or making things whole. He intends more than those...He intends to make things beautiful. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk and Shauna Streitmatter help us understand beauty and faith. When our senses are exercised to detect beauty, we will live a bit more as we were created to live. Show notes: Beauty is beautiful: · Beauty is an intention of God. He creates things beautiful. · God sets the standard for beauty. Our senses can be exercised to better detect it. · Anywhere that beauty exists can be a place for worship of God. · Beauty is detected in our senses. We find art, music, flavors, textures and fragrances pleasing to our senses. · We detect beauty in our thoughts. We find story and lyric appealing. · We must linger with beauty to appreciate it. It slows us down. · Beauty transcends usefulness. Not making life possible but making life worth living. · God is beautiful. Redemption is beautiful. Resurrection is beautiful.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God makes all things beautiful in his time. This truth is curious. It would seem that God has an intention beyond making things right. Or making things work. Or making things whole. He intends more than those...He intends to make things beautiful. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk and Shauna Streitmatter help us understand beauty and faith. When our senses are exercised to detect beauty, we will live a bit more as we were created to live. Show notes: Beauty is beautiful. Beauty is an intention of God. He creates things beautiful. God sets the standard for beauty. Our senses can be exercised to better detect it. Anywhere that beauty exists can be a place for worship of God. Beauty is detected in our senses. We find art, music, flavors, textures and fragrances pleasing to our senses. We detect beauty in our thoughts. We find story and lyric appealing. We must linger with beauty to appreciate it. It slows us down. Beauty transcends usefulness. Not making life possible but making life worth living. God is beautiful. Redemption is beautiful. Resurrection is beautiful.

When it comes to having difficult conversations, many of us are avoidant. Unfortunately, this passivity is not helpful in the long run. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller helps us sort out the mindset and the skillset of stepping into these difficult conversations. Show notes: When might a difficult conversation be necessary? · Difficult conversations might be necessary when silence on issues that concern us and others are leading to increasingly unhealthy ends. What goals should I have? · Goals for the outcome of a difficult conversation should not merely be influencing others on our behalf. Rather, healthy relationships and shared understanding should be objectives. What preparation should I do? · Prayerfully self-reflect. Understand the "story" you are making and develop a curiosity for the "story" other people have. As much as you can, make a safe place for dialogue. What skills should I bring to bear? · Attempt to be thoughtfully direct. Correct with objectivity and encourage with genuine authenticity. Be a curious listener and strive to remain on topic.

Personal change can be so hard sometimes. We want to think differently and act differently. But we don't. In this episode of Breaking Bread, three guests weigh in on the matter - a pastor, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. Together, Jeff Waibel, Ted Witzig Jr. and Aaron Plattner explore the landscape of people change and provide hope that it is possible.

Personal change can be so hard sometimes. We want to think differently and act differently. But we don't. In this episode of Breaking Bread, three guests weigh in on the matter - a pastor, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. Together, Jeff Waibel, Ted Witzig Jr. and Aaron Plattner explore the landscape of people change and provide hope that it is possible.

On divisive cultural topics like gender identity, sometimes we miss each other. Talking past each other. Unable to relate or understand with one another. To help with this understanding, Brian Sutter presents three lenses that capture three different "starting points" for the persuasions we hold. Show Notes: Mark Yarhouse in his book "Understanding Gender Dysphoria" presents three lenses through which we view the gender identity debate. By understanding these lenses, we will understand our persuasions and the persuasions of others better. Integrity Lens: "There is right and wrong in the world." · Intent – The view of gender being created by God as either male or female. · Strength – This lens focuses on identifying what scripture says and holding closely to it. It fights for truth, right belief, and holy living by proclaiming truth even when it is contrary to culture. · Weakness – This lens can be cold, unloving, and judgmental. It can forget that sincere individuals can struggle with these issues. It can reinforce incorrect stereotypes about the Christian church. Disability Lens: "There are reasons for why we see brokenness in the world." · Intent – This lens intends to be compassionate, understanding that all of life is touched by the fall and that human beings experience brokenness in all areas of life - including their gender. · Strength – This lens views individuals dealing with gender dysphoria with love and compassion. It seeks to provide information, support, counseling to help people work through gender dysphoria issues. · Weakness – This lens can overly identify the person dealing with gender dysphoria by their struggle. It can accidently view the individual's life as 'on hold' until the individual is "cured." Diversity Lens: "God is love." · Intent – This lens intends to understand and celebrate the uniqueness of each person while providing them with acceptance and community. · Strength – This lens recognizes the value of all people regardless of whether gender dysphoria is a lived experience. It doesn't force people into molds. It desires each person to be included and loved in a caring community. · Weakness – This lens may elevate gender dysphoria to be the most important part of a person's identity. It may overlook unbiblical lifestyles and may not see a need for conforming to the teachings of the Bible. Each lens has strengths and weaknesses. We each need to understand the lens we view gender dysphoria through, mitigate its weakness and adopt the strengths in the other lenses.

Today we are thinking more deeply about gender -maleness and femaleness. To help, Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling share their insights on this important matter. In this episode of Breaking Bread, we discuss biological sex and its outward expression in our gender. Show notes: Terminology is important. The words we use make a difference. Further, the meaning of the terms we use change. It is important we are informed on the definition of terms. Biological sex – The binary sex determination that occurs genetically and is coded by chromosomes. Those who have XX pairing are female and those who have XY pairing are male. Gender identity – How a person categorizes their felt gender experience. Gender dysphoria – The distress a person experiences when their felt gender identity does not match their biological sex assignment. Gender expression – How a person lives out their gender assignment. Gender roles – Expected rules, roles and experiences that we assume on being male or female. We live in a changing world. Yet, some things remain the same. What is new to the scene and what is not? Gender dysphoria is not new to the scene. Distress over the felt gender experience has been around for a long time. Varying gender expressions is not new. Men and women have lived out their respective gender in a wide spectrum of ways. Today the meaning we make of our gender expression is taking on new conclusions. With increasing freedom, individuals are reflecting on their gender expression and drawing conclusions on their gender identity outside of the assigned biological sex assigned at birth. Culture today is straying from a biblical understanding of gender assignment. Today, many people view gender identity as not being constrained to the binary male or female as it has been in the past. Due to this, here is more emphasis on freedom of gender choice. Gender in today's culture is often understood to be on a spectrum. How can we understand the varied gender experience? There is not a spectrum of gender assignment; however, there is a spectrum for gender expression. God created each person male or female, yet how we live out that gender varies. There are common experiences held by most men. There are common experiences held by most women. However, no two person's gender experience is alike. Rather, we each have a unique gender expression that can glorify God's biological sex assignment. How can we help ease the gender dysphoria some experience? Some gender roles come from biological differences between male and female. Others are constructed and maintained by culture. It is important that we are thoughtful about what it means to be a man or a woman. We should be slow to calling into question those who don't fit gender stereotypes that are not sacred to the biological sex.

Parenting our children through the highs and lows of our technological world can be a challenge. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling provides us with four helps. He gives us one technology lesson to instruct our children in. He gives us one technology danger to protect our children from. He provides one issue that we should be able to engage our children about and he gives us one redeeming quality that technology offers our kids. Show Notes: Instructive: Help your kids understand that if you do not pay for the product, then you are the product. Every free app we use is earning money off of the user somehow. Often it is by advertisements. Protective: Sextortion is a growing concern. Young people are often targeted. A predator engages with them in a seemingly innocent way at first. This could be through direct messaging or otherwise. They lure the victim into taking a picture or video of themselves that they would not want the public to see. The predator then uses the image or video to blackmail the victim; threatening to send the content to friends, for example. If young people are being exploited, they are the victim of a crime, and it should be reported. Contact your local FBI field office, call 1-800-CALL-FBI, or report it online at fbi.gov. Engaging: Parents need to nurture the relationship they have with their children so that openness can be achieved. Open dialogue on technology issues should be the goal. Children and young people should feel free to openly discuss technological struggles, challenges and questions with trusted adults. Redeeming: Technology shows us how much we desire connection. Use this apparent fact to show your kids that connection with God is the connection our souls most crave.

Cognitive behavior therapy and EMDR are helpful tools in the clinical toolbox for treating complex trauma. In this audio recording, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter provide some wherewithal to what these are and other methods.

God asks us to participate in the life-giving care of people. Untangling the web trauma spins for those who have complex PTSD is one of those rewarding opportunities. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter take the discussion of complex trauma to the next level. They help us see what help looks like and gives us all a role to play. Show notes: Help for those with complex trauma can be understood in three phases: Phase 1: Safety and Stabilization Stabilize the victim and ensure their safety. Receive them on an emotional level. Help create for them a new safe experience that will over time help them construct a healthy meaning of their world. Phase 2: Processing Trauma Professionals in this phase can help create healthy meaning to old memories. Phase 3: Meaning Making and Reconnecting Help a victim engage in the world in a healthy way. Their difficult past does not bind them; rather it equips and provides value to their present.

Sometimes PTSD cannot be traced back to a single event. Rather, for a person with a web of traumatic events in their past and present, PTSD is a state of "normal". It is the air they breathe. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter teach us what complex PTSD is. For those who want to live well with people, it is a concept that is good for us to understand. Show notes: Definition: Some people experience layers of trauma. Trauma on top of trauma produces an unhealthy stress whose root is not easy to isolate. In fact, a singular root does not exist. This is understood to be complex trauma. Sources: Complex trauma results from living conditions where safety is repeatedly jeopardized. Results: Complex trauma undermines a person's sense of present safety. Traumatic living norms have produced in victims a skewed perception of others and themselves. Often relationships pay a heavy price among those who have experienced complex trauma.

God asks us to participate in the work of the Spirit in the lives of others. "Go ye therefore and make disciples," Jesus said. The local church just might be ground zero for this important work. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann outline 5 essentials for the community that will disciple. Below are five essentials for the community that will disciple: "Here I am." Discipleship happens in a location. The community that disciples practices being present with people. "I am here." Discipleship happens in communities where there is stability. The community that disciples is committed to each other. "I take you." Discipleship requires vulnerability. The community that disciples receives one other. "Follow me as I follow Christ." Discipleship is an active practice. The community that disciples is intentional. "I'll walk with you." Discipleship is a slow process that requires patience. The community that disciples is fueled by hope in Christ.

God has knit into our frame the capacity to have dominion. At some level, it comes from being an image bearer of his. Yet, it comes as no surprise, that after the fall, our capacity to have dominion has been bent. For the worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer address the tendency we have towards taking unhealthy control of situations. Wonderfully, letting go of control is possible, and who teaches it better than the Lord of Lords and King of Kings ~ Jesus. Show notes: I might have an unhealthy relationship with control if: I have an excessive need to be in-charge. I am slow to give responsibility to others. I am irritated when my plans are not followed. I ignore the boundaries of others. I don't trust others. I think too highly of my opinions. I am impatient with others. I work better alone than with people. My desire for control might be fueled by the following reasons: Insecurity – my grasping for control soothes the discomfort I have in myself. Identity – my grasping for control is an effort to prove myself. Fear – my grasping for control protects me from disorder and disaster. Pride – My grasping for control assumes I know better than others. Even though he is the King of Kings, letting go of control is inspired by and exampled by Jesus: He let go of his control to become a baby. He let go of his control to be obedient to his parents. He let go of his control to be tempted by Satan. He let go of his control to be tried before magistrates. He let go of his control to be killed on a cross. By letting go of control, Jesus secured his Lordship. "I lay down my life, that I might take it again." John 10:17

Spiritual disciplines are often associated with the monastic life. This can be both helpful and unhelpful. Historian Fred Witzig, with the help of Isaac Funk, helps sort out the good from the bad as it regards practicing these disciplines. In the end, Fred and Isaac help cast an encouraging vision for practicing spiritual disciplines.

The practiced pianist, athlete, and mathematician share the commonality of making hard things look easy by way of practice. The same is true for the practicing Christian. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk and Fred Witzig help us understand what spiritual disciplines are and how they are helpful means to the end that we might be more like Christ.

Life is full of unpleasantness. With the unpleasantness we can't change, we will need to endure through it. The skill of enduring this unpleasantness is patience. It is no wonder that patience is exhorted in Scripture. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel highlights this fruit of the Spirit and gives us some keys on how to be more patient. Show notes: Patience is being emotionally regulated while at the same time enduring unpleasantness. Patience is not necessarily marked by deactivation and calmness. Rather, it is actively engaging our emotional realities during these times of unpleasantness. Very often, our unhealthy emotional reactions to unpleasantness have less to do with the irritant we chafe against and more to do with our internal world. For example, a father may lose patience with his young son not because the son was disobedient but rather the father feels that the disobedience confirms that he is a bad father. The lack of patience with his son comes from internal unpleasantness. Patience burns the fuel of hope. People who are patient can find hope beyond their unpleasant circumstances. It is this hope, realized by faith that puts Christians at the advantage, for living patient lives.

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ's. Show notes: Definition: Our "playbook" is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction. Importance: Our "playbook" is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening. How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions. How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its "plays" are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences. Reality: Our intuitive "playbook" is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong. The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation. Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better. Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations. Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from? Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think. Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors. Conform your playbook to Christ –We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard. Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ. Further Information All Nations Bible Study (acbookstore.org) This Bible Study is designed to promote understanding of diverse people and perspectives. This content in this study may challenge your preconceptions. We encourage you to take this experience to the Lord and his Word.

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ's. Show notes: Definition: Our "playbook" is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction. Importance: Our "playbook" is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening. How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions. How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its "plays" are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences. Reality: Our intuitive "playbook" is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong. The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation. Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better. 1. Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations. · Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from? 2. Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think. · Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors. 3. Conform your playbook to Christ – We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard. · Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ. Resources for website: Learn more about nurturing cross-cultural relationship with the All Nations Bible Study (acbookstore.org)

Like an athletic team running plays out of their playbook, we become skilled at running plays out of ours. However, those plays are not running or passing plays. Rather, they are intuitions- feelings and thoughts about people and the circumstances that confront us. Our reactions to these situations are so automatic, they operate in our subconscious. In these three episodes of Breaking Bread, Physician Keyna Martinez helps bring our playbook into our conscious awareness so we can learn, adjust and even correct our plays to match more closely with Christ's. Show notes: Definition: Our "playbook" is our subconscious intuition that launches judgment and reaction. Importance: Our "playbook" is extremely important for life. Many of our decisions are made subconsciously. For example, we avoid danger by judging it as such and making necessary changes, often before we are fully aware of what is happening. How the playbook is made: Experience largely has constructed our internal playbooks. More specifically, painful experiences have a larger effect than blissful experiences. These experiences construct our values, judgments, expectations, and reactions. How the playbook is maintained: The playbook is maintained when its "plays" are reinforced by repeated or similarly interpreted experiences. Reality: Our intuitive "playbook" is right a lot of the time. However, it can be and is often wrong. The effect of an incorrect playbook: Our judgment is incorrect and therefore our words, feelings and actions are motivated from a place of falsehood. We will not respond like Christ would in the situation. Changing the playbook: The playbook can be changed for the better. 1. Identify your plays - Learn to identify the subconscious reactions you have to people and situations. · Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now and what experiences in my past are my responses coming from? 2. Learn the playbook of others – Be a student of how they think. · Learn what their experiences have been. This will inform why they have certain values, priorities and behaviors. 3. Conform your playbook to Christ – We need a standard outside of our experience to compare and correct our intuitions against. Christ is that outside standard. · Conforming the playbook to Christ comes through intentional decisions and deliberate practice of Christ-like behaviors. Over time, new rules will be created and become our new subconscious intuition and automatic response – renewing our minds after Christ.

Tragedy comes to us unannounced. It is a shock in the human experience. The new and unwanted reality has a way of troubling us to the core. Yet hope can emerge if a community is present to care for the troubled. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. speaks to those in the caring community. There are some things to know about support in times of crisis that will prove helpful to the troubled. Show notes: Definition of tragedy: Tragedy is a sudden, shock inducing experience that launches us into a place crisis. Examples of tragedy: Natural disaster, unexpected loss, robbery, assault, accident Effects of tragedy: Tragedy undermines safety, security and the sense of control. It has a shocking effect in the human experience. Emotionally, tragedy causes grief, sadness, anxiety, and anger. Spiritually, tragedy can surface troubling questions of "why?". Community Role in tragedy: Provide support and care for the troubled both in the short term and long term. To do this well, we must be aware of which phase the crisis is in and attempt to match support to the phase. Phase 1: Troubled individuals need "safety and stability." Examples of phase 1 support to provide: practical helps, meals, childcare, lodging, reconstruction, prayers. Phase 2: Troubled individuals need to heal through "remembering and mourning." Examples of phase 2 support to provide: personal presence, sitting with difficult emotions, listening to the grieving, prayers. Phase 3: Troubled individuals need to find "new purpose and new meaning." Examples of phase 3 support to provide: encouragement, purpose, reception into new normal, supporting people through disillusionment, prayers. Tips for the helping community: · Pace yourself. Victims of crisis need support now, but also down the road. · It's okay if you don't know what to do or say. Victims of crisis care less about you having answers and more about your commitment to walk with them. · Be patient. Often, helpers make the mistake of wanting to see those in painful places move forward more quickly than they often do. · Understand your role and relationship to the victim of tragedy. Provide support consistent with that role. · Be slow to evaluate "how the grieving person is doing." · Learn to observe the emotion the hurting person is experiencing and respond to it empathetically. Tragedy gives the believing community the unique opportunity to act as the family of God. We pray more. We are more thoughtful about what is important in life, and we get to display Christ to the world.

We do what we can to prevent our children from being exposed to pornography. But what if they do become exposed? First time exposure to porn can have long lasting effects on the young mind. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Jacob Feucht coach parents on the do's and don'ts of engaging our children after exposure. Show notes: Consider the following tips if your child has a first time exposure to pornography. What NOT to do: Avoid shaming. This can lead to isolation. Avoid despair. This can communicate to the child that irreparable damage has been done. Avoid rage. This can drive the issue underground and breakdown communication on the topic of sexuality. Avoid ignoring. This will not care for the trauma that has occurred and allow the behavior to go unchecked. What TO do: Receive the child in love. This can prevent shame. Receive the child with question. This can give parents the necessary insights to appropriately care for the child. Receive the child with correction. This will give the child wise guidance. Receive the child with patience. This will allow for an ongoing conversation on the topic of sexuality. Questions to ask: What was viewed? This helps the parent understand what the child has experienced and what ideas have been reinforced. How did it happen? This helps the parent coach healthy pro-action and future prevention. What effect did the exposure have on you? This allows the parent to demystify and give vocabulary to the experience so that a young person can begin to make sense of it and talk about it. What did you imagine mom or dad would think about your exposure? This allows the parent to correct or highlight their perspective on exposure to pornography. Perspective to keep: Pornography exposure is not uncommon. If it occurs and complications arise, there is tremendous hope. A lot of help is available for those who struggle with pornography. Pornography exposure is an opportunity for parents to engage with their children in a wonderful way. Healthy intimate relationships between parents and children can occur as parents walk with their children through the sexual maturation process. The goal is not keeping our children from pornography; rather, it is growing up our children into healthy young men and women who love God and serve him.

Difficult children demand a lot from parents. Wonderfully, easy children do not. Yet, the easy child should not be overlooked. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling reads a letter from an easy child to her parents. It helps us see the errors we can make when neglecting our easy ones. Moreover, the undue burden that can be placed on them unwittingly. Show Notes: Definition: Some children require a lot of parenting. Whether it is a streak of rebellion or special needs, these children might provide parents a unique challenge. We might understand them to be "difficult". Definition: Some children do not require a lot of parenting. Whether it is their resilience to respond well to adversity or their innate disposition to please people, these children do not deplete parenting bandwidth. We might understand them to be "easy". Problem statement: Parents can overlook the needs of their easy children. Ill consequences: The "easy" child's identity can get unhealthily tied to their performance. The "easy" child can feel undo pressure to be good and not add stress to the home. The "easy" child can feel an undo expectation to deal with their "issues" alone. The "easy" child can feel an undo expectation to be an adult before they are able. The "easy" child can feel unnoticed by their parents. Parenting opportunity: Engage with the "easy" child and acknowledge the family dynamics. Acknowledge the felt reality of the "easy" child. Express notice, care, and love for the "easy" child. * Note: The letter written by a child and read by Craig on the podcast was shared with permission of the author.

Marriages can find themselves in places of despair. Marriages often assume the problems are symptoms of waning affection. Yet what is actually present is neurodiversity. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer educates us on the impact ADHD can have on marriage relationships and the hope that can be breathed into a marriage when this is understood. Show Notes: What is neurodiversity? The neurodiverse brain is contrasted with the neurotypical brain. The neurodiverse brain thinks, responds to its environment and interacts with emotions outside of the normative operating neurotypical brain. This condition is diagnosed, for example, as autistic, dyslexic, or ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder). What is ADHD? ADHD stands for Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder. This is a diagnosable disorder. An individual with ADHD has the ability to hyperfocus. Often, they can be exciting, fun, creative, in the moment and flexible. Those with ADHD can struggle to prioritize matters that need attention. They have a higher threshold for experiencing rewarding satisfaction and therefore require more stimulus. These attributes create symptoms of distractibility and impulsivity. How can ADHD impact marriage? When couples do not understand how ADHD is playing out in their marriage relationship, they run the risk of making the wrong meaning out of unfortunate interactions. Consider the examples below: Lack of follow through by ADHD spouse is wrongly interpreted as lack of care. Distracted ADHD spouse during conversation is wrongly interpreted as not valuing spouse. What proactive steps can the ADHD spouse make? Get a diagnosis from a professional. Become educated on ADHD. Treat the biology through diet, sleep, exercise and medicine. Learn coping skills. Build relational skills. What proactive steps can the non-ADHD spouse make? Become educated on ADHD. Grieve the unmet expectation of what marriage was "supposed" to be. Avoid reinforcing the negative unsuccessful interactions that historically has been used on your ADHD spouse. For example, nagging. Rebuild trust by measuring it differently. Instead of measuring "follow through" on requests, measure "follow through" of applying oneself to the treatment ADHD requires. What hope is there for marital health? Beautiful marriages are possible when neurodiverse and neurotypical spouses live wisely with one another.

The new year carries a sense of hope for needed change. In this episode of Breaking Bread, the clinical staff from ACCFS share four words to help inspire and guide the changes we need to make. These simple four verbs will be easy to remember and promise helpful practical action. Show Notes: Four simple action words that can motivate and guide positive change for our new year. Walk – Slowing down is necessary for us to live well. It puts us in a position to live mindfully. Cultivate – Fostering, encouraging, and nurturing growth. It puts us in a position where the next healthy step in progress is possible. Balance – Not all things equal, but all things in healthy proportion. It puts us in a position where we are investing in areas that matter most. Explore - Being curious and opening ourselves up to something new. It puts us in a position to grow our world and grow in our world.

God saves his people into families. A nurturing community where souls are cared for and loved. In this episode of Breaking Bread, ACCFS's church outreach team shares the vision that propels the work they do. Show notes: Vision: By God's grace, the Church Outreach division of ACCFS is committed to supporting the local church by providing resources and teaching that equips the local church to care for its members.

Often, our bodies seem like a liability to our emotional, relational, and spiritual health. After all, our flesh is weak. Yet Jesus beautifully sanctioned the bodily experience when He came to earth in the flesh. He showed us that our bodies should not be scorned but instead listened to and exercised to the glory of God. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Isaac Funk help us see the role our bodies play in our emotional and spiritual health. Show notes: Common Misconceptions: The biological body is irrelevant. Your feelings tell you what is true. Your flesh is a liability. The body is corrupt and will defile you. Healthy spirituality separates itself from the body. Truth: The biological body is relevant. It informs our reality. God had good in mind when he created the flesh. We should learn to listen to it. The flesh has been affected by "the fall". It can be used for wrong. Healthy spirituality is always done in the body. By listening to our bodies, we can learn to detect our emotions. By learning to live in our bodies, we can positively affect our emotional experiences.

Jesus saw more. He saw what others missed in a setting. He saw what mattered in an interaction. He understood the reasons for a situation when others overlooked it. Jesus saw more. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann highlight critical purpose for the elderly among us. Help us like Jesus helped his disciples – help us see more. Show Notes: Help us see what others miss: Just as a passenger in a car can see more of the surroundings than the driver, we need the elderly in our communities to help us see what we often miss. Jesus helped his disciples see what most missed. He pointed out a poor widow casting in more money than the rich. Something they had all missed. Mark 12:41-44 Help us see what matters: Just as a skilled carpenter, doctor, teacher, parent and investor knows what matters in their craft, the elderly in our communities know what matters in life. They can help us see what matters. Jesus helped his disciples see what mattered. He devoted time to young children when they didn't think it was time well spent. Matthew 19:13-15 Help us see why: We like to connect the dots between cause and effect. The elderly in our communities often have insights into these causal relationships. They can help us see why. Jesus helped his disciples understand why. He helped them understand the reason a man was born blind. It was not what they expected. John 9:1-4

"Grief can't be avoided; it waits for you to walk through it." June Knobloch said this. She and her husband understand grief deeply after suffering the loss of their son Jeff to suicide. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Del and June share their story of grief and how they walked through it. Resources: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline This Lifeline is for people experiencing a crisis and is available 24/7 in the United States. If you need help for yourself, a friend, or family member, call or text 988 right away. Lifeline Crisis Chat Coping with a Suicide [ACCFS] As you face life after a loved one's suicide, remember that you don't have to go through it alone. This article provides resources to help support you with your lose. Preventing Suicide [ACCFS] Those on the front lines of engaging our youth- parents, teachers, employers, mentors and those with a heart for our youth can be proactive in working to be aware and possibly help prevent suicides. This article provides information to help those on the front lines to be there for individuals that are struggling.

Laughter is relational, healing and necessary. In this episode of Breaking Bread ACCFS clinicians Ted Witzig Jr., Brian Sutter, Kathy Knochel and Kaleb Beyer enjoy a light moment together. But don't underestimate the weighty benefits such moments bring to our mental health. Show notes: There are many matters that concern us: struggle, hurt, loss and sorrow abound. Yet, even among these, humor exists. Sometimes laughter springs from surprising places acting as a grace from our heavenly Father who no doubt loves to see his children laugh. What is laughter? Laughter is the physical response to the emotional and cognitive experience of humor, happiness and mirth. Laughter is to happiness as crying is to sadness. Laughter is a common expression of amusement shared by all humanity. What are the elements that give rise to laughter? Humor often plays on surprise. From peak-a-boo with an infant to clever twists in a "punch line", the element of surprise startles and pleases. Humor often plays on a truth - truth exaggerated or told from a new vantage point often entertains and amuses. What are the benefits of laughing? Laughter grounds a person in the moment. Amusement happens in the present, opening a person's senses to live in the now. Laughter is relational. Sharing amusement with others makes the experience better. Laughter draws people into its participation. People welcome laughter. Healthy humanity employs the spectrum of emotions. Just as sadness has its purpose and benefits, so does mirth. Laughter can increase our capacity to cope with the brokenness we experience in life. Laughter does not make light of sadness. Rather, it assists us in holding it. How can I learn to laugh? Learn to laugh at myself. Often, I take myself too seriously. Learn my place. I can over approximate my role and reach of effect. I need to remember that God is in control. Learn to live. God created me to enjoy his good creation.

Emotion is like fuel. The right amount, at the right time and for the right purpose, yields wonderful results. However, on a negative note, emotion is like fuel. That is why healthy people know how to regulate their emotions. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter coach us on how to do that. Show Notes: What is Emotional Regulation? People who have good command of their emotions use emotional regulation. In fact, emotions for these people are used in their life for the purpose God intended. Emotions are a gift from God. Why does Emotional Regulation work? God has made us wonderfully. Our emotions and our bodies are closely connected. In fact, emotion always happens in the body. Just as emotions affect the body, the body affects emotions. There are bodily techniques that can be learned to bring about a healthy emotional experience. What are some skills for regulating emotions? Deep breathing: Learning to breathe in a way that calms your nervous system. Mindfulness: Learning how to be present in a moment. Defusion: Learning how to detach from unwanted emotions. Acceptance: Learning how to make room for unwanted emotions. Where can I learn emotional regulation skills? ACCFS Course Emotional Regulation Skills Course - ACCFS (accounseling.org) What will be required for me to use regulation skills successfully? Practice

Disagreement in marriage is real. Anyone who is married understands the wisdom of being "equally yoked." Fortunately, Christians are "equally yoked" on the basis of faith in Christ. Yet, there are many other ideals, values and dreams we might not be so "equally yoked." In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer gives us a path forward for finding unity in the midst of the conflict this reality brings. Show notes: Background: Conflict around values and dreams are uniquely challenging because of the deep-seated nature of the held beliefs. Consider the examples below: Spouse A believes that family time should be protected and abundant. Spouse B believes that people should be community oriented. Spouse A believes that the house should be neat and orderly. Spouse B believes that the house should be "lived in" and not necessarily tidy. Spouse A believes money should be shared, spent and not hoarded. Spouse B believes money should be saved. Good biblical and wise argumentation can be given on either side of the issues. Conflict is fueled because of the emotion that resides with the deeply held ideals. Conflict Intervention: How couples can move through conflict. [Intervention based on Dr. John Gottman's research] First: Is the couple in a place to have the disputing conversation? Evaluate how intense the held values are. Evaluate how long each value has been held. Evaluate the climate of the relationship. A "positive" climate needs to be present to have constructive conversation. Building a union of friendship, gratitude and closeness is important. Second: Personal preparation is required. The humility to understand that each affects the other at their point of deeply held values. Recognize that moving through the conflict is an important objective. As important or more, than the terms of resolution. Values are not changed quickly; patience will be required. Empathy and compassion will be necessary to hear your spouse. A commitment to shared purpose is necessary. We win together, not separately. A willingness to be influenced by spouse. Third: The disputing conversation occurs. Attempt to be soft and slow. Be amiable, not reactive; open not closed; flexible, not rigid. We think better when processes slow down. Use structure for the conversation: Assign roles-who is the speaker and who is the listener. Ask your spouse to tell you the story of their vision. Seek to understand. Monitor when escalation happens in yourself or your spouse. When escalation happens, you might need to take a break so soft and slow can return. Fourth: Once understanding of each other's values has occurred, move into the circle of compromise. Each should consider what you can be flexible about in the disputable matter. Each should consider what they are inflexible about in the disputable matter. Attempt to make your "area" of flexible as large as possible and "area" of rigidity as small as possible. Share with one another your circle of compromise and determine a compromise. Live into the compromise for a time and continue to have dialogue.

Youth is a time of life when all manner of ideals are being formed in a person: reasoning skills, social skills, character qualities, work ethic, and academics. And yet, greater than these is the formation of the image our kids will have of God. Their God image is the sum total of their beliefs and feelings about who God is. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter speaks to the importance of shepherding this important formation in our children. Why God Image is important? It is the lens through which you view life. Where does God Image come from? Experience Teaching Shepherding God Image in our kids: Tap their imagination. Share testimony. Model it in relationship. Be patient with their questions. Point them to the Scripture. Helps: The Jesus Story Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones Children's Authors: by Max Lucado The Ology by Marty Machowski Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis Tiny Theologians Catechisms

We live in a God-bathed world. He is everywhere and in everything. But too often, we are moving to quickly to see Him. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk coaches us on how to slow down so we can catch up with God. When we are restless with our ordinary lives, we are forgetting: Jesus took on flesh to show us that ordinary is okay. Posture is more important than performance. God is in the boring; the maturing Christian has eyes that see Him everywhere. Experiencing God is always done where we are - never anywhere else. We can be fulling pleasing to God living out the menial tasks that to us are ordinary. We catch up with God by slowing down and walking at Christ's pace. We can be in two places at once: about our daily tasks and with God. Being human is not a problem. Jesus came to show us how to be fully human.

Folding laundry, mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning, fixing and working. Life is pretty ordinary. God must be disappointed in my life. Or is He? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk helps us understand the beauty that is possible in the ordinary.