Beyond Your Default

This episode of Beyond Your Default dives deep into the intertwined forces of purpose and passion—how each fuels a meaningful life beyond just daily obligations. George and Liz explore how passion acts as the spark, adding energy and excitement to purpose-driven work, while purpose provides the steady direction. But passion alone isn’t enough; unchecked, it can lead to burnout. Together, George and Liz emphasize the importance of harmonious passion, balanced engagement without compulsion, and the need for intentional rest to avoid slipping into obsessive territory.Key TakeawaysPassion Isn’t Infinite—It Needs StructurePassion gives momentum, but without rest and boundaries, it can lead to burnout. Intentional pauses and balance fuel sustainable energy, avoiding the trap of “too much of a good thing.”Harmonious vs. Obsessive PassionHarmonious passion allows joyful engagement without overwhelming life. Obsessive passion, however, brings stress, and disrupts other aspects of well-being. Balance between dedication and detachment is crucial for long-term fulfillment.Purpose is the Compass; Passion is the FirePurpose guides, passion energizes. Purpose without passion can feel like homework, but passion without purpose can lead to burnout or lack of direction.Give Yourself Grace—Life is About ExplorationDiscovering passion isn’t a one-time epiphany. It’s about staying curious and allowing passions to evolve over time. Embrace the moments of flow and joy, but remember that rest and self-awareness are key to sustaining those passions.Memorable Quotes“Passion and purpose aren’t separate—they’re two sides of the same coin. Purpose gives direction; passion provides the fuel.”“Rest isn’t the opposite of passion; it’s the fuel that keeps the fire burning strong.”“If you’re running on just purpose, life can feel heavy. If you’re running on just passion, you can lose direction.”Reflective QuestionsAre you balancing passion with intentional rest and structure?How do you differentiate between harmonious and obsessive passion in your own life?What steps can you take to ensure your purpose and passion align for a balanced, fulfilling journey?Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletter for more insights, stories, and tools to help you build a life beyond the ordinary!

In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I dig deep into the art of aligning our lives with purpose—a journey not only of discovery but of real, tangible alignment between who we are and how we live. George explains that once we start noticing the patterns in our experiences and values, it’s time to connect those insights with our daily actions. This process, he shares, isn't just about knowing what we want—it's about syncing our work, lifestyle, and habits with our core values. This is where everything begins to click, where life flows with a sense of purpose, like firing on all cylinders. We’re not just moving through the motions. We’re actively living who we are meant to be.✨ Join the Beyond Your Default newsletter for weekly insights!As George shares, living a life in alignment with purpose isn’t just a milestone. It’s a daily commitment, a continual practice of showing up fully as ourselves. It’s about being real, engaging with purpose consistently, and allowing it to shape the way we approach each day.Key Highlights from Our Conversation1. Discovering Patterns Through ExperimentationGeorge emphasizes that before we align, we experiment. He talks about the importance of trying new things and exploring different paths to understand what truly resonates. This experimentation reveals patterns, allowing us to start crafting a life that’s in sync with who we are.2. Aligning Actions with Core ValuesAlignment isn’t about achieving a one-time goal; it’s about connecting our insights with our actions. George shares how he found his groove in creating content, educating, and guiding others—an outlet that perfectly aligns with his mission to educate and inspire. When your work syncs with your values, you’re not just checking off tasks; you’re fulfilling a purpose.3. Living with Purpose, DailyPurpose isn’t a destination; it’s a practice. George reminds us that purpose requires us to show up and live it daily. It’s an active commitment, not a box to tick off. Living purposefully is a journey, and it’s about staying true to our values in everything we do.Why This MattersLiving with purpose doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a process of reflection, experimentation, alignment, and practice. When we stop just “getting by” and start aligning with what truly matters to us, life feels more meaningful. This episode is a reminder that purpose isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a daily practice that brings us closer to our true selves.Related Episodes:Embracing the Journey: Navigating Life’s Twists and TurnsAuthenticity and Alignment: How to Show Up as Your True SelfFinding Joy in Purposeful WorkQuotes to Reflect On“Purpose isn’t a one-time discovery. It’s a daily practice that you engage with consistently.”“When your actions align with your purpose, that’s when life really starts to click.”“Purpose is the compass that guides us through the storm.”This episode offers a powerful reminder: when you align your actions with purpose, you’re not just living life; you’re creating a life that’s deeply meaningful.

In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I dive into one of the most transformative frameworks in personal growth: the Four Cornerstones of the Superhuman Framework. This isn’t just about ticking off a list of personal goals. It’s about creating a foundation that aligns with our deepest values—passion, purpose, persistence, and love. These aren’t just ideals. They’re actionable principles that help us live a more integrated, balanced, and fulfilled life, well beyond the “default” mode that most people settle for.🌱 Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletter for weekly doses of inspiration!The Four Cornerstones of the Superhuman Framework aren’t just theory—they’re a blueprint to shift how we show up in the world. In this episode, George and I break down each cornerstone and discuss what it looks like to embrace them fully. If you’ve ever felt like there’s more to life but weren’t sure how to tap into it, this conversation will give you the tools to do so.Key Highlights from Our Conversation1. Defining the Four Cornerstones: George walks us through the core principles—Passion, Purpose, Persistence, and Love—and explains how these cornerstones work together to form a balanced, powerful approach to life and work. We talk about why they’re essential not just for high achievers but for anyone looking to live a more intentional life.2. Passion: Fueling Our JourneyPassion isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the energy that drives us forward, even when the going gets tough. George shares personal stories of how passion has been his compass, helping him navigate both successes and setbacks. We dive into why finding and nurturing our passions is critical to a fulfilling life.3. Purpose: The Anchor in the StormPurpose gives us direction. It’s not about following someone else’s roadmap but discovering what we’re truly here to do. We discuss how identifying and aligning with our purpose provides a sense of stability, even in chaotic times. George shares insights on how to find your purpose and let it guide your decisions.4. Persistence: The Power to Keep GoingPersistence is the grit that keeps us moving when passion alone isn’t enough. George talks about the importance of resilience, especially for high achievers who often face burnout. We explore practical ways to cultivate persistence, so you can stay the course without sacrificing your well-being.5. Love: The Core of It AllLove isn’t just a feeling; it’s the thread that connects everything we do. From loving the people around us to finding self-compassion, love fuels our ability to live authentically. George explains why love is the cornerstone that holds everything together and how we can all bring more of it into our daily lives.Why This MattersThe Four Cornerstones of the Superhuman Framework offer a path to living beyond the superficial markers of success. This episode is a reminder that life is more than just achieving goals; it’s about becoming a person who lives with integrity, resilience, and genuine connection. If you’re ready to challenge the default settings of your life and embrace something deeper, this episode is for you.Related Episodes:How to Cultivate Passion in Everyday LifeFinding Purpose in Uncertain TimesBuilding Resilience: Persistence Without BurnoutPracticing Self-Compassion and LovePowerful Quotes from the Episode“Passion fuels the journey, but purpose gives it direction.”“Persistence isn’t about ignoring the obstacles; it’s about knowing why you’re willing to face them.”“Love is the cornerstone that holds everything together. Without it, all the success in the world feels empty.”“When you live with purpose, every decision feels like a step toward something meaningful.”If you’re ready to embrace a framework that goes beyond the hustle, tune in to this episode and start building your superhuman foundation.

In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and Liz explore the heart of the Superhuman Framework with its "4 Cornerstones"—Love, Purpose, Passion, and Persistence. These foundational elements are the keys to building a fulfilling, resilient life beyond the default. But unlike simple principles, they’re deeply personal forces that help us navigate life’s challenges and triumphs with authenticity and strength.Together, they dig into what each cornerstone means in real, actionable terms. From love as the connection fueling our relationships and pursuits, to purpose as the compass guiding us through uncertainty, to passion as the energy that makes hard work feel worthwhile, and persistence as the grit to keep going—these are more than just words; they’re essential to living a life aligned with who we truly are.If you’re ready to ask yourself, “What kind of life am I building?” and “What drives me to keep going when things get tough?” then this episode will serve as both inspiration and a practical guide. Whether you’re starting fresh or looking to reignite your journey, the 4 Cornerstones offer a roadmap to live intentionally and meaningfully, with purpose and joy in every step.🌱 Related Episodes:How to Make Vulnerability Your SuperpowerIs Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Actually Valuable?✨ Takeaway Quote: "You're the architect of your own life. What you build—and the passion, purpose, and persistence you bring to it—is what makes the journey extraordinary."

In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I tackle one of the most challenging and personal topics in the world of work: burnout, but not just any kind. We’re diving into what it means to truly experience burnout while doing what you love—because let’s be honest, it feels completely different when your passion is the source of your exhaustion. When you're mad at what you do, it's easier to recognize you've got a problem.This episode is personal, it’s real, and it’s something we need to talk about, especially for those of us who pour ourselves into work that we care deeply about.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterBurnout is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what happens when the thing that used to light you up—your dream job, your passion project—suddenly becomes the source of your stress? How do you navigate that emotional and physical toll when you still care so much about what you’re doing?George and I roll up our sleeves in this episode to address these questions, and we don’t shy away from sharing our personal stories and struggles with burnout. I even talk about my own recent health scare and how it forced me to rethink how I balance life and work. If you’ve ever found yourself teetering on the edge of burnout while doing what you love, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.🌱 Related Episodes:How to Make Vulnerability Your SuperpowerIs Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Something Actually Valuable?A lot of times, people talk about burnout in abstract terms—just another buzzword. But George and I wanted to shift the conversation to focus specifically on what happens when burnout hits in work that brings you joy and purpose. When you’re doing something you’re passionate about, burnout doesn’t always feel like an option because you love what you’re doing. But even when you’re in love with your work, burnout can still creep in—and it can be more devastating when it does.I share my experience of having to hit the pause button recently because of a significant health scare. It forced me to ask tough questions about rest, boundaries, and how to keep showing up for the things that matter without running myself into the ground.Burnout Topics We Coverburnout, emotional clarity, health scares, work-life balance, self-care, productivity, mental health, communication, passion, stress managementHighlights from Our ConversationDefining Burnout in Work You Love: We start by acknowledging how burnout presents differently when you care deeply about your work. It’s not just physical exhaustion; it’s emotional fatigue that leaves you questioning the very passion that got you started in the first place.George’s Burnout Thermometer: George introduces the concept of his “burnout thermometer,” a personal gauge he’s developed over time to check in with himself before burnout takes over. This involves identifying the warning signs before it’s too late and taking intentional steps to avoid a crash.The Importance of Rest and Reflection: One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is that rest isn’t the enemy of productivity; it’s a necessary part of the process. We discuss how to recognize when it’s time to step back and how to do it without guilt—especially for all my fellow Type A’s who struggle with letting go!Practical Tips for Avoiding Burnout: From micro-breaks to setting boundaries, we break down real, actionable strategies for avoiding burnout, even when it feels like stepping away is impossible. George and I both share how we’ve had to prioritize ruthlessly and learn how to say “no” or “not now” to protect our mental and physical health.How to Rebalance Your Workload: We know that stepping away isn’t always realistic. But you can still rebalance your workload and make time for the things that matter most. We talk about how to delegate, communicate, and prioritize effectively so that you don’t end up burning the candle at both ends.Understanding the Consequences of Ignoring Burnout: What happens when you don’t listen to your mind and body? We get real about the very real consequences of burnout—from physical illness to career stagnation. And if you’re thinking, “It’s just a rough patch, I’ll get through it,” this episode might change your perspective on what’s really at stake.Quotes About the Importance of Burnout“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” - Unknown“Burnout is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.” - Michael Gungor“The truth is that burnout is a sign that something needs to change, not that you should just push through.” - Carly Ferguson“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest.” - Mark Black“You can do anything, but not everything.” - David Allen“Burnout doesn’t happen because we’re solving problems; it happens when we’ve been solving the same problem over and over.” - Susan Scott“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve oth

In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I are digging into something that is woefully misunderstood: bravery. We’ve all been fed this narrative that bravery has to be some dramatic, action-hero moment—full of fearless, toxic positivity or like rushing into a burning building or staring down a villain in some epic showdown. But here’s the thing: that’s complete nonsense.We’re breaking down what bravery actually feels like in the real world. Sometimes it feels like you’re about to puke. Sometimes it’s quiet, personal, and shows up in ways that nobody else will ever see. Bravery isn’t about waiting for some magical feeling of confidence to wash over you—it’s about stepping into the scary stuff anyway, even when your brain is screaming:“Abort mission!”🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterSo if you’re sitting there wondering how the heck you can be braver in your everyday life without having to slay a dragon or leap off a building, this one’s for you. George and I are diving into the ways we’ve both shown bravery in our own lives (it wasn’t glamorous), and how you can start recognizing those small but powerful brave moments in your life, too.Bravery isn’t some magical state of being where everything suddenly feels great and you know exactly what you’re doing. (If that happens, let me know, because I’ve been missing out.) It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and it often looks like taking tiny, awkward steps forward when you’d rather curl up in a ball. But if you’re still moving forward—no matter how scared, unsure, or uncomfortable you feel—you’re already doing it. You’re already brave. And that’s the whole damn point.So stop waiting for bravery to feel epic. Start giving yourself credit for the brave things you’ve already done, and get out there and do the next scary thing. Because trust me, you’re braver than you think.🌱 Related Episodes:How to Make Vulnerability Your SuperpowerIs Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Something Actually Valuable?Bravery Topics We Covereveryday bravery, quiet courage, overcoming fear, bravery vs. fearlessness, cultural expectations of bravery, taking action despite fear, personal growth through discomfort, mindset shifts for bravery.Highlights from Our ConversationBravery Isn’t Fearlessness (Because Let’s Be Honest, Fear Never Fully Goes Away): Let’s cut to the chase—if you’re waiting to magically feel fearless before taking action, you’re going to be waiting forever. Bravery isn’t the absence of fear; it’s showing up and doing the thing with fear tagging along for the ride. We break down how fear and bravery are basically two sides of the same coin, and why being scared doesn’t disqualify you from being brave. In fact, it’s kind of the whole point.The Everyday Acts of Bravery You’re Probably Overlooking: Listen, yes, jumping out of a plane might be brave, but so is setting a boundary with someone when you’ve spent your whole life being a people-pleaser. We dive into the tiny, everyday acts of bravery that don’t get any applause but make all the difference—things like saying “no,” asking for help, or simply getting through the day when life feels heavy. Trust me, these are the real MVP moments of bravery.Why Hollywood’s Definition of Bravery Is Screwing You Over: Society—and yes, Hollywood too—has trained us to think bravery is all about big, visible acts of heroism. But in reality, most bravery happens when no one’s watching. We talk about how these warped ideas about bravery have messed with our heads, and why comparing yourself to some superhero storyline is a surefire way to feel like you’re not measuring up. Spoiler: You don’t need a cape or a grand gesture to be brave.George and I Share Our Not-So-Glorious Brave Moments: We’re getting real about the times we’ve had to be brave—and spoiler, it didn’t look like the movies. From business decisions that scared the hell out of us to moments of personal growth where we had no idea what was coming next, we talk about the times we didn’t feel brave at all in the moment but looking back? Yeah, we were. If you’re waiting for some epic brave feeling to hit before you make your move, we’re here to tell you: that’s not how it works.Stop Waiting for the Feeling—Just Do the Damn Thing: If there’s one thing we want you to take away from this episode, it’s that bravery isn’t some feeling that sweeps you off your feet. It’s about moving forward when you’re scared out of your mind. We break down why waiting until you feel ready is a trap and how the most important thing you can do is just start. Whether that’s having the tough conversation or finally taking the leap on something you’ve been putting off—just go.How to Start Acting Bravely (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It): Want to know how to be braver in your everyday life without feeling like you’re gearing up for battle? We’ve got you covered. George and I walk you through practical, real-life strategies for stepping into those moments of discomfort an

Main Idea: Exploring the concept of love and its diminishing presence in modern conversations, this episode challenges listeners to rethink the role of love in their lives, its varying forms, and how societal perceptions have shifted love from a foundational value to something often sidelined or viewed skeptically.Summary of the Show: In this insightful episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead dive deep into the complexities of love, asking the provocative question: “When did love become uncool?” They explore why love, despite being central to human experience and relationships, is often dismissed or downplayed in today’s culture. George reflects on his personal journey with love, from sermons he gave as a teenager to his current understanding of different types of love—ranging from agape (unconditional love) to pragma (enduring love). The conversation touches on how love has been commercialized, trivialized, and distorted by pop culture, leading many to shy away from embracing or discussing love openly. They also delve into how true love goes beyond romantic notions and encompasses self-love, compassion, and commitment to others' well-being.Quotes:“Love isn’t just a fleeting feeling; it’s what makes happiness deep and lasting when we tie it into everything we do.” - George B. Thomas“When love drives us to seek justice and fairness, we help build a more compassionate world.” - George B. Thomas“It’s okay to be vulnerable in showing your love. If discomfort equals growth, why not embrace it?” - George B. Thomas“True love isn’t supposed to be stressful; it’s the unlock element for everything else in our lives.” - George B. ThomasScriptures:1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs."Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How comfortable are you with openly expressing love in your life? Are there areas where you hold back due to fear or societal expectations?Cultural Perception: In what ways has pop culture influenced your understanding and expression of love? How might that perception be limiting your relationships or self-growth?Types of Love: Which forms of love (romantic, self-love, agape) are most prevalent in your life? How can you cultivate a more balanced approach to expressing and receiving love?Barriers to Love: What past hurts or societal pressures keep you from fully embracing love? How can you begin to dismantle those barriers?Daily Practice: What intentional practices can you incorporate into your routine to make love a more active and consistent part of your life?

Embracing the journey of growth, vulnerability, and self-worth by reflecting on past challenges and how they shape our future selves. This episode dives into the raw, unfiltered check-in between George and Liz as they unpack their journeys over the past year.Show Summary :In this special check-in episode, George and Liz reflect on their personal growth journeys over the past year while discussing vulnerability, self-worth, and the lessons they've learned. The conversation is honest, raw, and full of insights as they explore the challenges of consistency, embracing vulnerability as a superpower, and navigating the balance between boundaries and walls. They share their highlights and lowlights, address tough questions about self-belief, and offer practical advice for listeners on overcoming mental barriers and stepping into their true potential.Quotes:“You can be on a football field and you know the boundaries. But if I lock the doors, you can't even get into the stadium. I wasn’t letting people into the stadium to play the game that is life.” - George B. Thomas“I was too loud, too tall, too strange—and I see worth in that now.” - Liz Moorehead“When you pour love into yourself, it becomes easier to pour love into your world.” - Liz Moorehead“If discomfort equals growth, why would I run from discomfort? I’m embracing it and moving forward.” - George B. ThomasRelevant Scriptures:Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How has your relationship with self-worth evolved over the past year? Are you more or less confident in your abilities and value?Vulnerability and Growth: What walls have you built to protect yourself from discomfort? How can you begin to dismantle them to allow for growth?Consistency and Focus: What areas of your life need more focus to maintain consistency? Are you saying yes to too many things?Support Systems: Who can you trust to help you navigate moments of vulnerability and self-doubt? How can you strengthen these relationships?Belief in Possibilities: How has your belief in what’s possible for your future changed over time? Are you excited or anxious about the path ahead?

In this milestone episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead delve into the misunderstood concept of "holistic" within the Superhuman Framework. George emphasizes that a holistic approach is the stabilizer that holds all other aspects of life together, allowing for balance and alignment between the mind, body, and soul. They discuss how this mindset isn't about overhauling your life overnight but rather about gradual, intentional changes that lead to sustainable growth. The episode covers practical steps to integrate a holistic approach into everyday life, from self-assessment to creating a supportive community, all aimed at achieving a balanced and fulfilling life beyond the default.Quotes We Used:“Pacing yourself is essential. A holistic approach is a marathon, not a sprint. You don't have to overhaul your life overnight.” - George B. Thomas“A holistic approach doesn't mean focusing on everything equally at once. It’s about prioritizing what needs attention now and making intentional adjustments.” - George B. Thomas“Holistic well-being is like the glue that holds all the other pieces of our lives together.” - George B. Thomas“Balance is not something you find; it's something you create.” - George B. ThomasScriptures We Usedt:Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How do you currently approach your life holistically? Are there areas that feel out of balance?Prioritization: Which aspects of your life need immediate attention, and how can you begin to address them holistically?Mindset Shift: How can you gradually shift your mindset towards a more holistic approach without overwhelming yourself?Support Systems: Who in your life can help you maintain a holistic balance? How can you strengthen these relationships?Consistency Over Time: What small, consistent actions can you take today to start building a sustainable, holistic lifestyle?

Main Idea: We can transform our approach to physical health by shifting our mindset from weight loss to overall well-being and understanding the impact of consistency and sustainable changes.Summary of the Show: In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead explore the significance of resetting our relationship with physical health. George shares his journey from focusing on weight loss to aiming for a pain-free life, emphasizing the importance of creating a lifestyle that supports overall well-being. They discuss the mental barriers, such as fear and limiting beliefs, that can hinder our health goals and provide practical strategies to overcome them. The episode highlights physical, mental, and emotional health interconnectedness and the need for a holistic approach to achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.Quotes We Used:“When I shifted my mindset from losing weight to reducing pain and enhancing my quality of life, everything started to fall into place.” - George B. Thomas“Our bodies, minds, and souls are interconnected. Taking care of our physical selves leads to a more fulfilled, energized, and purposeful life.” - George B. Thomas.“Physical health is the great equalizer to the other framework elements in the Superhuman Framework.” - George B. Thomas.“Consistency and making sustainable changes are key. It’s not just about shedding pounds; it’s about creating a lifestyle that supports overall well-being.” - George B. ThomasRelevant Scriptures:Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How do you currently approach your physical health? Are there areas where you struggle to maintain consistency?Mental Barriers: What limiting beliefs or fears prevent you from prioritizing physical health? How can you address and overcome these barriers?Holistic Approach: How can you integrate physical, mental, and emotional health practices into your daily routine for a balanced and fulfilling life?Small Changes: What minor, consistent changes can you improve your physical health without feeling overwhelmed?Support Systems: Who can support your journey towards better physical health? How can you strengthen these relationships?Need More? Check out our Beyond Your Default Community.

Main Idea:Exploring the stigma surrounding mental health, understanding its roots, and providing strategies to overcome this stigma while promoting mental well-being and emotional intelligence.Summary of the Show:In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead tackle the sensitive topic of mental health stigma. They share personal stories and insights about the importance of addressing mental health openly and without shame. George discusses the historical context of mental health stigma and its evolution, emphasizing the need for a supportive community and open conversations. The episode highlights the role of emotional intelligence in building stronger relationships and the importance of maintaining mental health for overall well-being. They provide practical strategies for seeking help, fostering self-awareness, and developing emotional resilience.👨‍💻 Join the community.Quotes:“You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” - Dan Millman“Building emotional intelligence is only possible if you stay mentally healthy or can get through the ish and get to the point where you might think that you're mentally healthy.” - George B. Thomas“Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” - Mariska Hargitay“The quality of your thoughts dictates the quality of your life.” - Liz MooreheadScriptures:2 Corinthians 12:9-10: "But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For Christ's sake, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How do you currently handle discussions about mental health in your personal and professional life? Are there areas where you feel stigmatized or uncomfortable?Emotional Awareness: How can you improve your emotional intelligence to understand better and manage your own emotions and those of others?Support Systems: Who are the people in your life with whom you can trust to discuss your mental health? How can you strengthen these relationships?Mental Health Practices: What daily or weekly practices can you implement to improve your mental well-being?Breaking the Stigma: How can you contribute to breaking the stigma around mental health in your community?Strategies for Overcoming Mental Health Stigma:Regular Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day for self-reflection to evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Acknowledge moments of stigma and strive to change them.Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed. Therapy can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.Educate Yourself and Others: Learn more about mental health issues and share this knowledge with others to reduce misinformation and stigma.Practice Emotional Intelligence: Use mindfulness, empathy, and effective communication to develop your emotional intelligence. This helps you build stronger relationships and understand others’ perspectives.Create a Supportive Environment: Foster an environment where open discussions about mental health are encouraged. This can be within your family, workplace, or community.Use Technology Wisely: Leverage technology for positive mental health practices, such as online therapy sessions or mental health apps, while setting boundaries to avoid digital overwhelm.Balance Social Media Use: Be mindful of your social media use. Focus on positive interactions and limit exposure to harmful or triggering content.This episode encourages listeners to overcome mental health stigma by fostering open conversations, seeking professional help, and practicing emotional intelligence. Individuals can improve their mental well-being and build stronger, more authentic connections by creating a supportive community and promoting self-awareness. The conversation emphasizes the importance of breaking down barriers and proactively addressing mental health for a fulfilling and balanced life.

Main Idea:Balancing authenticity and well-being in our lives to enhance personal growth, build stronger connections, and navigate challenges with grace and resilience.Summary of the Show:In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead discuss embracing humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. George shares his insights on openness about feelings and experiences, emphasizing the significance of trusted relationships for sharing vulnerabilities. They explore how showing vulnerability fosters genuine connections, builds emotional resilience, and helps develop a positive inner environment. The conversation covers practical strategies for maintaining authenticity, practicing self-compassion, and ensuring holistic well-being. They also highlight the role of emotional intelligence and self-acceptance in enhancing personal and professional relationships.👨‍💻 Join the community.Quotes:“Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self, your whole ass human, which essentially you're showing up as you.” - George B. Thomas“Self-compassion, positive self-talk, and vulnerability create a positive and loving environment within ourselves, radiating outward to those around us.” - George B. Thomas“Our humanity begins as a collective. The first step is decentering the me and tapping into the we, which unlocks truly special things.” - Liz Moorehead“It's okay to struggle with this. We all have moments of doubt and fear. The key is not to be perfect but to be persistent in our efforts to connect with our humanity.” - George B. ThomasScriptures:Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."Reflective Questions:Self-Assessment: How do you balance authenticity and well-being in your life? Are there areas where you struggle to be completely honest with yourself or others?Emotional Awareness: How can you practice self-compassion and positive self-talk? What impact does this have on your daily life and relationships?Support Systems: Who are the people in your life that you can share your vulnerabilities with? How can you strengthen these trusted relationships?Authenticity: How can you show up more authentically in your personal and professional life without fear of judgment?Emotional Intelligence: What steps can you take to improve your emotional intelligence and better understand and manage your emotions?Strategies for Balancing Authenticity and Well-Being:Regular Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day for self-reflection to evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Acknowledge moments of inauthenticity and strive to correct them.Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Embrace your imperfections and celebrate your strengths.Seek Support: Engage with trusted friends, family, or professionals to share your vulnerabilities and seek guidance.Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Enhance your emotional intelligence through mindfulness, empathy, and effective communication. Use mindfulness techniques to stay aware of your emotions.Build Positive Habits: Incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, and nutritious eating, to support your physical and mental well-being.Set Realistic Expectations: Understand perfection is unattainable and focus on progress instead. Set realistic goals and appreciate your efforts and achievements.This episode encourages listeners to embrace their humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. By practicing self-compassion, seeking support, and cultivating emotional intelligence, individuals can navigate challenges with resilience and build stronger connections. The conversation emphasizes the importance of continuous growth, self-reflection, and a positive inner environment that radiates outward, contributing to a more compassionate and connected human experience.

This episode has been a long time in the making. This week, we're discussing "holiness" — one of the 10 pillars of the Superhuman Framework for living a life Beyond Your Default. However, before you skip away from this one, because you believe this concept doesn't apply to you or your particular belief structure, I'd encourage you to stick around. In our conversation, we discuss the concept of holiness and its relevance to both religious and non-religious individuals. That's right! We're not here to preach religious doctrine of any kind. And although we do bring our own personal stories to the table, they are much more diverse than you might think.In fact, we spend a lot of time discussing science. We explore the idea that holiness is about nurturing and cultivating the essence within us — whether we view that "essence" through a religious, spiritual, or completely secular lens — and that it can be achieved through various practices and beliefs. We emphasize the importance of living ethically, being kind, and constantly working on personal growth.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterWe highlight the common ground between different religions, secular belief structures, and global philosophies when it comes to the pursuit of holiness. Nurturing the soul and embracing holiness is essential for inner peace, personal growth, and finding meaning and purpose in life. It involves self-reflection, building meaningful connections, and embracing curiosity. It also leads to better mental health, resilience, and fulfillment.It is important to guard the heart and focus on self-awareness. Nurturing the soul helps navigate challenges with grace and strength, and fosters compassion and empathy. It brings balance, harmony, and integration to all aspects of life. Topics We Coverholiness, spirituality, religion, ethics, personal growth, compassion, kindness, nurturing the soul, holiness, inner peace, personal growth, meaning and purpose, self-reflection, meaningful connections, curiosity, mental health, resilience, fulfillment, self-awareness, challenges, compassion, empathy, balance, harmony, integration, personal growth, meaningful lifeTakeaways + HighlightsHoliness is about nurturing and cultivating the essence within us, regardless of religious or non-religious beliefs.Living ethically, being kind, and constantly working on personal growth are key aspects of holiness.Different religions and philosophies share common ground when it comes to the pursuit of holiness.Acts of charity, empathy, and awareness are important practices in the journey towards holiness.Holiness is a journey within ourselves, where we strive to live authentically and make a positive difference in the world.Quotes About Humility"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." - Caroline Myss"To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance." - Buddha"Holiness does not consist in doing extraordinary things. It consists in accepting, with a smile, what Jesus sends us. It consists in accepting and following the will of God." - Mother Teresa"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." - Rumi"You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible." - Deepak Chopra"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves." - Dalai Lama"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." - Deepak Chopra"The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love." - Marianne Williamson"Spirituality is not adopting more beliefs and assumptions but uncovering the best in you." - Amit Ray"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." - Ferdinand Foch"It is not the length of life, but the depth." - Ralph Waldo Emerson"Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God being present in the mess of our unfixedness." - Michael Yaconelli"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart." - Mahatma Gandhi"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." - Ralph Waldo Emerson"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." - Joseph Campbell"True holiness consists in doing God's will with a smile." - Mother Teresa"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin"The quieter you become, the more you can hear." - Ram Dass"Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life." - Buddha"Holiness is not the luxury of the few; it is a simple duty for you and me." - Mother Teresa"What lies behind us and what lies before us

This week, we're back with another deep-dive into one of the 10 pillars of the Superhuman Framework — humility. In our conversation, we talk about our personal achievements, such as George losing 30 pounds and me finding a sense of peace and acceptance in her life.George shares his definition of humility as a blend of religious beliefs and psychological growth. He also shares a personal story of how a motorcycle accident taught him the importance of humility. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterI reflect on my own experiences of humility and how they shaped my perspective on love and relationships. Humility is essential for personal growth and building strong, respectful relationships. It fosters a mindset of continuous learning, openness to new ideas, and willingness to learn from others. Humility helps build stronger relationships by increasing the ability to listen actively, value others' contributions, and create a foundation of mutual respect and trust.It encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding of others' imperfections, reducing conflicts and promoting collaboration. Humility keeps individuals grounded, realistic, and approachable, preventing arrogance and entitlement. It is a key component in the journey to a life beyond one's default.Topics We Coverachievements, battle, relaxation, weight loss, lifestyle change, humility, definition, religious beliefs, psychological growth, personal story, motorcycle accident, love, relationships, humility, personal growth, relationships, continuous learning, openness, empathy, compassion, collaboration, grounded, approachableTakeaways + HighlightsFinding a balance between work and relaxation is a constant battle for many people.Humility is a blend of religious beliefs and psychological growth, involving recognizing our limitations, serving others, and having a balanced self-esteem.Humility can be learned through personal experiences, such as George's motorcycle accident, which taught him the importance of deflating the ego and focusing on others.Humility is not about putting oneself down, but rather having a clear understanding of one's strengths and weaknesses and being open to feedback and growth.Experiencing great love can be a humbling experience, as it requires putting the other person's happiness and well-being above one's own. Humility fosters a mindset of continuous learning and openness to new ideas.Humility helps build stronger relationships based on mutual respect and trust.Humility encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding of others' imperfections.Humility reduces conflicts and promotes collaboration.Humility keeps individuals grounded, realistic, and approachable.Quotes About Humility"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." - Rick Warren"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." - Thomas Merton"Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues." - Confucius"The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless." - T.S. Eliot"A great man is always willing to be little." - Ralph Waldo Emerson"Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying." - Saint Vincent de Paul"There is no respect for others without humility in one's self." - Henri Frederic Amiel"Humility is really important because it keeps you fresh and new." - Steven Tyler"The higher we are placed, the more humbly we should walk." - Marcus Tullius Cicero"The greatest friend of truth is Time, her greatest enemy is Prejudice, and her constant companion is Humility." - Charles Caleb Colton"Humility is the essence of love and intelligence; it is not an achievement." - Jiddu Krishnamurti"I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility." - John Ruskin"Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life." - George Arliss"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." - Ken Blanchard"A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right." - Ezra Taft Benson"Real genius is nothing else but the supernatural virtue of humility in the domain of thought." - Simone Weil"Humility is a great quality of leadership which derives respect and not just fear or hatred." - Yousef Munayyer"Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity, and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted, and ardent." - Mother Teresa"One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time." - Madeleine L'Engle

We're back with part two of our conversation about honesty. If you missed it, go back to last week's episode, which covers our relationship with honesty within ourselves. Because if we cannot solve the self-deception problem from within, honesty and integrity without becomes a lot more complicated.Now! Let's talk about this week's conversation. George and I discuss the importance of honesty in relationships and personal growth. We highlight how honesty builds trust and credibility, strengthens relationships, and encourages accountability. We also emphasize the need for self-awareness and reflection to identify areas for improvement.And, of course, we got personal. That seems to be a big theme, recently.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterI share a personal experience of having an honest conversation with a friend to address a long-standing problem in their friendship. And George discusses a difficult conversation he had with his father to mend their strained relationship. Both examples demonstrate the challenges and rewards of maintaining integrity. \Our conversation explores the challenges of being honest and maintaining integrity in personal and professional relationships. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, learning from mistakes, and taking small steps towards greater honesty. Of course, we couldn't ignore how important it is to strike a clear balance between honesty and empathy, as well as the role of intentions in communication, and the need for active listening, when pursuing truth with others. We also highlight the significance of creating a supportive environment that values open and honest communication. Our discussion concludes with the reminder that progress, not perfection, is the goal in developing greater integrity.Topics We Coverhonesty, relationships, trust, credibility, accountability, personal growth, self-awareness, reflection, communication, self-reflection, mistakes, empathy, active listening, support, progressTakeaways + HighlightsHonesty is the cornerstone of all success and builds trust and credibility in relationships.Being honest with others strengthens relationships and encourages accountability.Honesty with oneself leads to personal growth and a higher standard of living.Honesty creates a positive and supportive environment and promotes authenticity.Having difficult conversations and addressing issues honestly can lead to stronger and more meaningful connections. Developing greater integrity requires self-reflection and learning from mistakes.Being specific and direct in communication reduces misunderstandings.Active listening and creating a supportive environment are key to fostering open and honest communication.Progress, not perfection, is the goal in developing greater integrity.Quotes About Honesty + Integrity with Others"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching." - C.S. Lewis"Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure." - James Altucher"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson"The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded." - Scott Hamilton"Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist." - Mary Kay Ash"In the end, you should always do the right thing even if it's hard." - Nicholas Sparks"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." - Oprah Winfrey"The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever." - Unknown"Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." - William Shakespeare"Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain." - Chris Karcher"When you walk a life of honesty, you live a life of truth." - Therese Benedict"Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back." - Unknown"Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life – all areas of life. The really good news is that anyone can develop both honesty and integrity." - Zig Ziglar"Integrity means that if our private life was suddenly exposed, we'd have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. Integrity means our outward life is consistent with our inner convictions." - Billy Graham"To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow"No legacy is so rich as honesty." - William Shakespeare"Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment." - Katrina Mayer"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." - Bob Marley

On this week's episode, George and I dive into the topic of honesty — one of the 10 pillars of the Superhuman Framework — specifically self-deception and dishonesty that manifests from within. We explore how self-deception can wreak havoc in our lives and the different ways it can manifest, such as negative self-talk and an inflated ego. We also emphasize the importance of self-awareness and the need to be honest with ourselves in order to learn and grow.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterThe conversation unpacks with unflinching candor the themes of self-deception and honesty. I talk about the experience of finding inspiration for writing and realizing the role of confusion in enabling self-deception. And George went there by discussing his struggle with weight and the lies he told himself.We both talk about the importance of self-reflection and being honest with ourselves. Practicing radical honesty with oneself can boost personal integrity, enhance emotional resilience, and improve decision-making. It promotes a sense of calm and stability, leading to overall well-being and a happier, more fulfilling life.By being honest with ourselves, we align our actions with our true values and beliefs, leading to a greater sense of self-respect. It also helps us confront uncomfortable truths and reduce internal conflicts. Practicing radical honesty allows us to make sustainable positive changes in our lives and live in alignment with our true selves.Topics We Coverhonesty, self-deception, self-awareness, negative self-talk, inflated ego, personal growth, self-deception, honesty, self-reflection, confusion, weight, lies, radical honesty, personal integrity, emotional resilience, decision-making, well-being, self-respect, uncomfortable truths, internal conflicts, positive changes, alignmentTakeaways + HighlightsSelf-deception can manifest in negative self-talk and an inflated ego, both of which can hinder personal growth.Being self-aware allows us to learn from our mistakes and avoid falling into the trap of self-deception.Honesty with ourselves is crucial for personal growth and maintaining a balanced perspective.Self-deception can lead to a distorted self-perception and prevent us from recognizing our weaknesses.It's important to avoid extremes of self-deception and strive for a more balanced and honest view of ourselves. Self-deception can manifest in negative self-talk, stories we tell ourselves, and beliefs that shape our thoughts and actions.Confusion can be a result of setting conditions that enable it and waiting for answers instead of seeking them.Self-reflection and regular time set aside for introspection are crucial for gaining a clear and honest understanding of oneself.Fear can lead to self-sabotage and staying small in life, but confronting fears and choosing clarity over comfort can lead to growth.Being honest with oneself and others is essential for building healthy relationships and addressing issues.Identifying and challenging the lies we tell ourselves can help break free from self-deception and live authentically. Practicing radical honesty boosts personal integrity and self-respect.Being honest with oneself enhances emotional resilience and reduces internal conflicts.Radical honesty improves decision-making and promotes a sense of calm and stability. It allows for sustainable positive changes and living in alignment with one's true self.Quotes About Honesty + Self-Deception"Self-deception is nature; hypocrisy is art." - Mason Cooley"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality." - Seneca"The easiest person to deceive is one's own self." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard Feynman"Self-deception is a pessimistic definition of optimism." - Theodor Reik"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting." - Buddha"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others." - Fyodor Dostoevsky"We are not deceiving anyone, but we are often deceiving ourselves." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe"Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." - Demosthenes"The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself." - Thales"Self-awareness doesn’t stop you from making mistakes, it allows you to learn from them." - Peter ShepherdRelated BYD EpisodesRedefining Hustle in a Culture That Celebrates Destructive Levels of Busy-nessGenuine Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity and the Movement to Criminalize EmotionsAdopting an Owner's Mentality in Your Own LifeFact vs. Fiction: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really?Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the DifferenceHow to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-TrustThe Power of Language: Choosing Your Words to Shape Your Destiny

This week is a very different kind of episode. We've tried to record it three times, but fourth time's a charm. But apparently, this was a topic that required a little waiting.In this episode, George and I explore the role of humor in our lives and how it can be used to hide old resentments or mask uncomfortable discussions. We reflect on their own dreams and goals and the importance of taking them seriously, as well as the impact of our goals on our lives and the lives of those around them.The conversation explores the role of humor as a shield and its impact on personal growth and relationships. We discuss how humor can be a diversion, providing emotional relief and social bonding. We also delve into the power of humor to change perspectives, diffuse tension, and challenge authority. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterOur chat also took an unexpectedly deep turn, as I shared my personal experience of using humor to seek validation and connection, while George reflected on how humor has been both a shield and a sword for him. However, humor can also aid in achieving goals by providing emotional relief, reducing stress, enhancing focus and productivity, and strengthening social bonds. Maintaining a balanced use of humor can create an atmosphere conducive to achieving goals and living a life beyond our default.Topics We Coverhighlights, lowlights, weight loss, goals, humor, dreams, animal spirit cards, humor, shield, diversion, emotional relief, social bonding, perspective change, deflection, empowerment, vulnerability, connection, humor, shield, weapon, distraction, avoidance, procrastination, strain relationships, harm credibility, emotional relief, stress reduction, focus, productivity, social bonds, positive mindset, resilience, team dynamics, enjoyable work environment, morale, motivation, balanced useTakeaways + HighlightsTaking goals seriously can lead to personal growth and positive change in one's life.Humor can be used as a shield to hide old resentments or uncomfortable discussions.Reflecting on dreams and goals can help uncover unfulfilled desires and lead to a more purposeful life.Journaling about the prompts from the animal spirit cards can provide valuable insights and self-reflection. Humor can serve as a shield, providing emotional relief and social bonding.It can be a diversionary tactic, deflecting attention from deeper emotions or issues.Humor has the power to change perspectives and reframe negative situations.It can diffuse tension and prevent confrontations, making difficult conversations more manageable.Humor can challenge authority and highlight social issues.Vulnerability and genuine connection are essential for true understanding and personal growth. Using humor as a shield or weapon can distract us from our goals and undermine our focus.Humor can provide emotional relief and reduce stress, enhancing our productivity and resilience.Appropriate humor can strengthen social bonds and improve team dynamics.Maintaining a balanced use of humor can create a positive and productive work environment.Humor can be a valuable tool in achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life.

"We should do an episode about rest, but it would be three minutes long. It would be more of a cry for help, actually. 'Please help us. We don't know how to do it.'" — Liz Moorehead (That's me!)This week is a different kind of episode. George was hospitalized for almost a week last week unexpectedly due to an inflammation issue with his heart. He's home, healthy, happy, and on the road to recovery with a renewed outlook how he wants to approach life.But we knew that, this week, we needed to throw out our planned outline for a candid conversation about what he went through, and how many of the topics we've been discussing on Beyond Your Default fortuitously came barreling to the forefront of his experience while he was in the hospital.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterOur conversation, of course, immediately drilled into the topic of rest and how important it is. George went on to share the lessons he learned around self-care — a topic he was previously resistant to — and relinquishing control.He also discussed the importance of creating space in his life for the things he enjoys and taking control of his own healthcare. George also explored the previously held beliefs he had that were challenged during his hospital stay, such as feeling like he had no space and relying too heavily on medication.⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own lifeBut he focused on more than just his health and personal aspects of this journey. We also talked about the impact his hospitalization had on his role as a business owner of Sidekick Strategies, and the trust he had in his team to handle things in his absence. We also discussed the lessons he hopes our listeners can learn proactively from his experience without having to go through it themselves. While these types of life events can be crystallizing in terms of helping us pivot our mindsets and beliefs in healthy ways, think about how much more you could achieve if you didn't wait for life to stop you in your tracks to see how you need to alter your path.Topics We Coverrest, self-care, hospitalization, relinquishing control, trust, business, self-care, health, hospital, inflammation, space, medication, active participant, non-negotiables, reflectionTakeaways + HighlightsTaking time for rest and self-care is essential for avoiding burnoutIt's important to listen to your body and seek medical help when neededRelinquishing control and trusting your team can lead to a sense of peace and allow for personal and professional growth Create space in your life for the things you enjoy and prioritize your own well-being.Be an active participant in your own healthcare and make self-care and healthcare non-negotiables.Reflect on previously held beliefs and be open to challenging and changing them.Ask yourself important questions about your health and well-being before a crisis occurs.

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.”― Nathaniel HawthorneThis week, we’re talking about one of the most precious resources we have at our disposal (if not the most precious resource) in our Beyond Your Default journeys, and that is time.If we were forced to define our relationship with time on Facebook, it would 100% be “it’s complicated.” Too often, we feel at a deficit with time, desperately wanting more of it, and never seeming to have enough of it. In fact, six in 10 Americans say they already don’t have enough time in a day to get everything done.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterOn the other extreme, then there are those seasons of waiting for what we want to happen most, and then all we seem to have is time. Excruciating stretches of time where we wait for life to begin. Time also comes under greater scrutiny when you start looking at your life purposefully and saying, “I need to make changes to grow the way I need to.”Think about the previous topics we’ve discussed where this couldn’t be more apparent:Rethinking the time we have at our disposal for a powerful and purposeful morning routine that will help us start our days in the best way possible.Why seasons of waiting can kill you, where you curse how much time you have at your disposal if you don’t learn how to re-prioritize the small things in life.Being present in this moment in time.Or heck, going back to the very beginning of this podcast, understanding the power of timing and how it can impact your life.⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own lifeAll of these conversations force us to put time back under a microscope. And yes, the conversation around time is a complex one. So in this first episode about time, we’re going to lay the foundation for completely rethinking how we define, think about, and talk about it. Because when you make changes internally around those three areas, you’ll be surprised by what becomes possible.As William Penn once said, “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”I think it’s time we change that.In this conversation, George and I discuss the complexities of our respective relationships with time, the feeling of not having enough time, and the excruciating stretches of waiting. We emphasize the need to redefine how we think about and use time, and the impact it has on our past, present, and future. ⚡ Go Deeper: Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the DifferenceGeorge and I also talk about the importance of mindfulness and energy management in maximizing our time, as well as the idea of living our lives as a story that we write along the way. We also examine the different ways we can define and think about time, and how our relationship with time can shape our well-being.We end our conversation by delving into the power of language and how the words we use to talk about time can influence our perception and behavior. Finally, George provides practical ways to rethink our relationship with time and make positive changes in our lives.Topics We Covertime, relationship with time, gratitude journal, Fast and Furious, waiting, mindfulness, energy management, time, narrative, control, mindset, language, perception, well-being, priorities, reflection, goals, time wastersTakeaways + HighlightsTime is a precious resource that impacts all aspects of our lives.Our relationship with time can be complicated, with feelings of not having enough time and long stretches of waiting.Redefining how we think about and use time can lead to a more fulfilling life.Mindfulness and energy management are key to making the most of our time.Being aware of the seasons of life and architecting our own story can give purpose to our time. We are the authors of our own lives and have the power to shape our narrative.The way we define and think about time can impact our relationship with it.The language we use to talk about time can shape our perception and behavior.Prioritizing and focusing on essential tasks can help us make the most of our time.Reflecting on how we use our time and setting clear goals can lead to personal and professional growth.Identifying and minimizing time wasters can free up time for more meaningful activities.

“There is a difference between vulnerability and telling people everything about yourself. Vulnerability is a feeling. Telling everyone about yourself is just facts and details.” — Simon SinekI'll be honest, I was not ready for this episode. So, let's skip the preamble and dig right into our conversation, which is all about the critical importance of learning how to be vulnerable. But what the heck is vulnerability?We define vulnerability as the courage to face potential emotional exposure, risks, and uncertainty, while still moving forward. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterIn this episode, George and I discuss the importance of vulnerability in your Beyond Your Default journey, and how it can lead to personal and professional growth. We share their own experiences with vulnerability and how it has impacted our lives, for better and for worse. Although being vulnerable can be scary—or even rejected as an option due to external pressures—vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather a superpower that allows for genuine connections and authentic living. That's why a large part of this episode is dedicated to debunking hey common misconceptions about vulnerability and highlight its strength and power.⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own lifeWe examine why people struggle with being vulnerable, particularly men and women, and the societal expectations and conditioning that contribute to this struggle. We also provide practical tips for shifting mindset around vulnerability, such as self-reflection, normalizing conversations about complex feelings, practicing small acts of honesty, reframing vulnerability as a strength, and practicing empathy. Finally, we talk about the benefits of vulnerability, including enhanced self-awareness, increased resilience, personal healing, and growth in self-esteem. We also emphasize the importance of starting small and choosing the right people to share with, and the transformative impact vulnerability can have on personal growth and relationships.Topics We Covervulnerability, personal growth, professional growth, courage, emotional exposure, risks, uncertainty, genuine connections, authentic living, vulnerability, misconceptions, strength, struggle, societal expectations, conditioning, mindset shift, self-reflection, emotional conversations, small acts of honesty, reframing, self-esteem, empathy, benefitsTakeaways + HighlightsVulnerability is a superpower that allows for personal and professional growth.Embracing vulnerability means being open to both the good and the bad that can come from genuine connections and facing new challenges.Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen, no matter the stakes.Failure is not a reflection of worth, but a stepping stone to greater knowledge and growth.Vulnerability requires the courage to face potential emotional exposure, risks, and uncertainty.Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but a powerful tool for creating trust, authenticity, and personal success. Vulnerability is often misunderstood and seen as a weakness, but it is actually a strength that requires courage and authenticity.Common misconceptions about vulnerability include that it is weakness, oversharing, seeking sympathy, or playing the victim.Vulnerability is important for personal and professional growth, deepening connections, and fostering authenticity.People struggle with vulnerability due to fear of rejection or judgment, fear of losing control, past trauma or negative experiences, and societal expectations and conditioning.Shifting mindset around vulnerability involves self-reflection, normalizing conversations about feelings, practicing small acts of honesty, reframing vulnerability as a strength, and practicing empathy.The benefits of vulnerability include enhanced self-awareness, increased resilience, personal healing, growth in self-esteem, deepened emotional bonds, trust-building, improved communication, and mutual support.Quotes About Vulnerability“The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment.” ― Brené Brown“What happens when people open their hearts?""They get better.”― Haruki Murakami“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown“When we were children, we used to think th

"You can be a human who gets on a mic and lies and says, 'I have done all the things and my life is absolutely amazing.' Or you can be the honest human and share the mistakes you've learned from, and hopefully people learn from your mistakes as well." — George B. ThomasIf you’ve listened to this show for any length of time, you’ve likely heard us reinforce that George and I are not having these conversations with you from a place of feeling as if we’ve seen it all, learned it all, and conquered it all. Quite the contrary! Do we consider ourselves your guides, here to help you along, as you make your way through your own Beyond Your Default journey? Certainly, but we are guides who are making the same journey, as well – faults, failures, lessons learned, and all.(And if this is your first episode with us, now you know!)🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterThat’s why, periodically, we take an episode to check in with each other. We ask each other questions about the specific topics we’ve covered on this podcast with you all, and speak honestly about our wins, our struggles, and the surprises we’ve encountered.The last time we checked in with each other was right before Thanksgiving — that's almost six months ago, if you can believe it. Where were we at mentally and emotionally back then? Let's take a look ... For George, his big focus was continuing to cultivate the close and purposeful circles of friends, family members, and others as a means to stay grounded. He also talked about that while you were excited about the future and what it could hold, you were also looking at it with a little dose of fear.To quote George:“I want to be careful not to lose myself in this process. And so I'm always kind of like, am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? And again, that anxiety and the need for deep breaths and meditation shows up and I'm like, all right, dude, man, just quit freaking overthinking it and just like, let it be organic, but is organic enough? Then the cycle starts all over again.”⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?Personally, I discussed how I was struggling to be more open and trusting with people, but I was getting better at it. I also talked about how self-forgiveness was my primary focus after a challenging year where I made a lot of changes in my life (moving, a divorce, and so on), I made a lot of mistakes, and I was also learning to get to know this new version of me who wanted more and better, in the right ways.To give you a snapshot of where my head was at, at the time, here’s what I shared:“I think one of the things that has been the most illuminating is realizing that sometimes I was holding myself accountable for things that I did not need to hold myself accountable for. That I was making myself responsible for the feelings of other people and not understanding that I am not responsible for everything. Because that’s how I was trained to think growing up. I’ve learned that self-forgiveness is hard, but you also have to make sure that you are looking at your life clearly.”⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own lifeSince then, we’ve done a lot of life stuff and grown quite a bit. We’ve also talked about a ton of new topics since then, including imposter syndrome, being present, finding happiness when all feels lost, seasons of life, our relationship with failure, setting healthy boundaries, toxic morning routine myths, making the choice to embody a victor mentality, anger, growth mindsets, and more. So, before we move into our next batch of conversations, we're taking this week to pull back the curtain on our own personal Beyond Your Default journeys. During this episode, I ask George questions about how things have been going since our check-in last November, and he does the same for me. Our hope is that by sharing what this type of committed self-work looks like behind the scenes — the good, the bad, and the downright ugly — that we can make it easier for you to remain motivated and inspired in your journey.Topics We CoverPersonal growth, vulnerability, self-awareness, mistakes, self-forgiveness, trust, focus, patience, unrealistic expectations, seasons of life, self-care, supportive relationships, change, seasons of life, decision-making, self-perception, self-care, morning routine, boundaries, rest, stability, surprise, anniversary celebration, personal growth, self-care, disconnecting, victim mentality, victor mentality, self-awareness, selfishness, growth mindset, morning routine, and health.Takeaways + HighlightsVulnerability and learning from mistakes are essential for personal growth.Self-forgiveness and trusting others can be challenging but necessary for progress.Focusing on the right things and consistently doing good leads to positive outcomes.Practicing patience and letting go of unrealistic expectations improves well-being.Embracing the seasons of life and surrounding oneself with

Sigh. We're back with yet another episode that makes me feel wildly uncomfortable ... which, of course, means it's the exact topic we need to be talking about. Last time, that topic was embracing the seasons of our lives and learning how to celebrate them. This time, the topic that has me squirming in the hot seat is one that I think many of us feel looming in the shadows of our lives ... imposter syndrome. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterImposter syndrome is a phenomenon that was identified by two female clinical psychologists, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, back in 1978, and it's defined as:"... the condition of feeling anxious or not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like 'a fraud' or 'a phony' and doubting their abilities."Yikes. By a show of hands, how many of you have ever felt that way in your lives? I know I have ... on many, many occasions. But guess what? Apparently, so did Neil Armstrong! Here's an incredible story from critically acclaimed author Neil Gaiman about his meeting with the first man on the moon:Wild, right? Clearly, if imposter syndrome is something even the first man on the moon has struggled with, this is something we need to be talking about. Which is exactly what George and I do this week. In this episode, George and I discuss imposter syndrome and its impact — and that includes sharing our own personal experiences falling into the imposter syndrome trap. In addition to exploring the root causes and aggravating factors of imposter syndrome, we also talk about the fact that "imposter syndrome" can sometimes mask systemic issues regarding gender inequality and racism. Because sometimes "working on your feelings" isn't really the answer. ⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?Later on in our conversation, we emphasize the importance of understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome to unlock authenticity and live a fulfilling life beyond your default. But it's not easy, as we're easily influenced by cultural factors. On top of that, success and recognition can exacerbate feelings of being an imposter. Social media can also both help people feel less alone in their experiences and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.Finally, we talk through practical tips and habits for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories. Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others. Now, let's get into it.Topics We CoverImposter syndrome, self-doubt, authenticity, growth mindset, overcoming challenges, cultural factors, family pressures, systemic racism, gender inequality, success, recognition, social media, self-reporting, mental health, confidence, kindness, emotional honesty, and toxic positivity.Takeaways + HighlightsImposter syndrome is a condition where individuals feel anxious and doubt their abilities despite external successes or objective assessments of their skills.Imposter syndrome is a shared experience and can be pervasive in various aspects of life.Understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome is crucial for personal growth and living a fulfilling life.High-pressure work environments, social comparison, and the pursuit of perfection can aggravate imposter syndrome.Root causes of imposter syndrome include family expectations, academic and professional environments, and personal traits like perfectionism.We need to be careful that conversations around this topic can slap an imposter syndrome label on circumstances, systems, and environments that promote inequalities for groups based on their race, gender, sexuality, or other identifiers. Sometimes the answer isn't "work on your feelings of confidence," but rather something needs to change within those spaces to foster genuine equality, diversity, and more.Success and recognition can paradoxically increase feelings of being an imposter.Social media can both alleviate and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.There is an increase in self-reporting of imposter syndrome, possibly due to a more open conversation about mental health.Practical tips for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories.Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others.Questions We DiscussWhy is George specifically so passionate about this topic?Why does this conversation matter to our beyond your default journey?How have we struggled with imposter syndrome in our lives?What do we see as some of the aggravating factors of imposter syndrome or its root cau

“Western civilization places so much emphasis on the idea of hope that we sacrifice the present moment. Hope cannot help us discover joy, peace, or enlightenment in the present moment.” — Thích Nhất HạnhMan, has there been a topic recently on this podcast where the idea of “being present” hasn’t come up?We talked about it during our episode about the importance of recognizing and embracing the small things in life. We talked about it last week during our episode on happiness, what it really is and how to find it during times of hopelessness. It also featured prominently in our conversations about fear, acknowledging our seasons of life, weathering the storms in life through stillness, and countless others. There is no doubt that being present matters. Yet so many struggle with this. To be honest, that includes me.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterLike “just be happy,” “just be present” feels like a deceptively simple concept that so many find to be lingering just out of reach. Like when you tell someone you’re depressed and they’re like, “Oh, well, you can just choose positivity.” Thanks, Gina. That's not a toxic way of thinking at all.So, that’s what we’re tackling today … what it means to truly be present, how to integrate such a mindset into your life in a way that’s practical, accessible, and sustainable, and so much more.⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?During our conversation, we share their personal struggles with being present, including the culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, and a lack of mindfulness practice. We also discuss the impact of trauma on being present.We share their strategies for staying grounded in the present, such as going for walks, practicing morning devotions and meditation, and setting boundaries with technology and other people. This part of our talk explores the unavoidable challenges of being present in a fast-paced, technology-driven world.Finally, we emphasize the importance of being present and offer practical tips and techniques for cultivating mindfulness in daily life. The benefits of being present include deeper connections with others, better focus, personal growth, and a greater appreciation for life's small moments.Topics We CoverBeing present, mindfulness, living in the moment, culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, trauma, grounding, setting boundaries, being present, mindfulness, challenges, distractions, pressure, expectations, connections, focus, personal growth, and appreciation.Takeaways + HighlightsBeing present means living in the moment and engaging fully with the now, both physically and mentally.Mindfulness is a broader practice that includes being present and involves a conscious awareness and acceptance of your inner state and thought process.The culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, and a lack of mindfulness practice can all hinder our ability to be present.Setting boundaries with technology and other people can help us stay grounded in the present.Being present can lead to a greater sense of stability and mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Being present is a hot topic because staying in the moment is tough for most people in our fast-paced, technology-driven world.Our minds are natural storytellers and problem solvers, constantly thinking about the past, future, or creating scenarios that may never happen.Modern lifestyle and technology make it easy to get distracted and lose focus on the present moment.Being present requires facing our feelings and thoughts head-on without distractions, which can be uncomfortable but leads to personal growth.Practicing mindfulness and being present can improve relationships, enhance focus, and bring more joy and appreciation to life's small moments.Questions We DiscussWhen we say “being present,” what specifically are we talking about here? How are we defining it? And what's the difference between being present and mindfulness?Do we struggle with being present in the moment currently? If so, how? And how does not being present negatively affect or impact us?Do we engage in any practices of mindfulness or present moment grounding? If so, what are they? And how do they positively impact us?The conversation around being present is a popular one for a reason – so many people struggle with it. Why do you think that is?We've touched upon the importance of being in the present moment in previous episodes to your Beyond Your Default journey, but what do we see as the key benefits to prioritizing a mindful, present moment mindset, no matter how busy you are?What are ways in which folks can easily start to embrace a present moment mindset in their daily lives? Whether they are daily or weekly practices, or "break glass in case of emergency" options we love?What becomes possible in life and in our personal Beyond Your Default journeys when you prioritize a prese

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” ― Albert CamusI’m a big fan of data, and I’ll be honest. When I looked up the Google search trends for the term “how to just be happy,” I wasn’t terribly surprised by what I found – a marked increase over the past five to six years. Why did I choose this term specifically? Because it's one I've caught myself searching for on multiple occasions over the past few years. I decided to dig a little deeper to see how we're all doing. As it turns out, we're not doing so great. In 2022, a Gallup poll found that happiness among Americans had hit record lows. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterAt first I was surprised, but as I thought about it, the numbers made a lot of sense. We were still wrestling with the long-tail effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. I know back in 2022, I wasn't feeling so hot. I decided to keep digging, because I couldn't help but wonder if those numbers were heavily influenced by the coronavirus "hangover" efforts. Well, not really. Just last week, new research came out that showed the United States did not crack the top 20 happiest countries in the world for the first time ever.Why? There are a lot of reasons, in addition to what we experience as individuals in our own lives. Global events, the pandemic (still), a lack of optimism about the future, increased polarization in politics, and a marked rise in loneliness – particularly among younger generations who have grown up in remote education and work environments. I could go on. ⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?Which is why today's conversation is probably the first of many episodes tackling the idea of happiness. What is it really? Why does it feel so out of reach more than ever? What can we learn from each other? Where do we honor our emotions while also working toward brighter tomorrows?About this this episodeOne of the things I love about this show is our willingness to explore the gray and acknowledge the realities of how challenging all aspects of living a life beyond your default really means. For example, as we’ve talked about in the past, it is a choice to embrace a victor mentality in your own life rather than giving into the easy and insidious comfort of feeling like life is happening to you.On the other hand, the growth mindset community also has a massive problem – toxic positivity, wherein folks are encouraged to dismiss or simply “rise above” complex, negative emotions, when they are entitled to experience and process those emotions in a way that makes sense for them. ⚡ Go Deeper: What is toxic positivity, and why is it so toxic?So, in today’s conversation about happiness, you won’t find any false platitudes or dismissive sentiments. Instead, we’re going to dive into the deep end of the beyond your default pool to discuss in a meaningful way what it takes to find and create happiness in an age where hopelessness is becoming more and more common.Please note, this conversation features sensitive topics regarding mass violence that may be difficult for certain members of our audience.Takeaways + HighlightsHappiness is a personal and individual journey that requires self-reflection and understanding. Sometimes it may require moments where you have to acknowledge you're building a life to someone else's standards rather than your own.As Americans, we need to be aware of our tendency to lead toward a tunnel-visioned mindset regarding our identity, as well as the sometimes corrosive idea of American exceptionalism. Geographically, it makes sense why we struggle to embrace more global perspectives — about happiness or anything else, for that matter — but it is our responsibility to look at these challenges as a global narrative. And that we should be looking to learn from those who are different from us. We're better together.The consumption of news can have a significant impact on one's perception and happiness. However, there are necessary conversations around privilege to be had, related to our ability to disconnect from what the news is. So the idea here is to find the blend that works for you, while maintaining a mindful news of the sources of news you consume and how often.Defining happiness and setting personal goals can lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life. But it requires us to be clear on what we consider happiness, without looking to others or pop culture to define what happiness is for us. The journey to happiness involves letting go of baggage, embracing personal growth, and redefining one's relationship with the world. Happiness is a subjective concept that cannot be universally defined.Creating something that helps humans be better humans is a fundamental goal.Happiness is not dependent on perfection or success.Practicing gratitude can cultivate a more joyful and fulfilling life.Questions We Di

“If you feel stuck, move. You're not a tree.” ― Germany KentGeorge has always been radically honest in these episodes when we talk about topics that evoke feelings of confusion, aversion, or frustration. For example, when I first handed over the outline for our episode on self-care, he admitted that he was unsure about the topic and where it was going — even though he trusted my vision for the conversation.Now, it’s time for me to pony up and do the same. When George Slacked me early last week (on Tuesday at 3:31 p.m., to be exact) that he wanted to have a conversation about the seasons of life.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterSpecifically, he said he wanted to talk about:“Being comfortable with the understanding that seasons change. Life changes."As I read those words, I could feel a physical response in my body, and not a particularly pleasant one. Of course, whenever that happens, I've come to realize that my discomfort is a sign that I should lean into whatever is making me feel emotionally chaffed. The term “seasons of life” sounds so romantic, gentle, and downright poetic. But the passage of time, the changing of seasons in our own life – when we notice them – can feel jarring, confusing, or even upsetting. That's why this week's conversation was so powerful, even if it did make me squirm in my chair.⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?Yes, accepting, navigating, and celebrating our different seasons of life can lead to personal growth and happiness, but doing so is not without its hurdles. So, in this episode, George and I explore the challenges people face in accepting and celebrating the different seasons of life and provide insights on how to shift thinking around this concept.As we also openly discuss the challenges we've faced in accepting the seasonality of our own lives, we also talk about the benefits of leaning into this discomfort, and what makes this type of thinking so worth it. Remember, so much of this comes down to trusting yourself, so you can make room for new experiences and growth in each season of life.Takeaways + HighlightsLife is made up of different seasons, each with its own purpose and lessons.Change is constant, and it is important to embrace and learn from each season.Struggles and discomfort are often part of the process of growth and transformation.Understanding and embracing the seasons of life can lead to personal growth and happiness.Challenges in accepting and celebrating seasons of life can arise from a fear of change and a desire for things to stay the same.Shifting thinking around seasons of life involves recognizing that change is a normal part of life's rhythm and finding comfort in the knowledge that tough times are temporary.Embracing the seasonality of life can bring benefits such as finding joy in the present moment, learning from experiences, staying hopeful, and discovering one's purpose.Reflecting on past seasons and the lessons learned can provide insights into personal growth and shape one's identity and direction in life.Questions We DiscussWhat the heck prompted George to bring up this conversation?When we say "seasons of life," what does that really mean? Are there different types of seasons we should be thinking about?In what ways have we struggled to either acknowledge or accept this idea of seasons in your life?When did your attitude shift about the seasons of life?Why do you think others may struggle to accept or celebrate the seasons of life?What are ways in which others can shift their thinking around them?What are the benefits of embracing this mindset of seasons?What is one question you should encourage our listeners to challenge themselves with as they go through this upcoming week?Letting Go Quotes"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 2a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 7a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)“Even seasonal situations can bring with them lessons that last a lifetime. If the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.” – Mandy Hale“There is a season for everything under the sun—even when we can’t see the sun.” – Jared Brock“If you feel stuck, move. You're not a tree.” ― Germany Kent“Times of suffering will come, use them. To grow into a better version of yourself. Use the dirt to grow flowers. Let the storm water them. Watch them grow in the sunshine

“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGillOne of the most liberating, progressive things we can do for ourselves is to let go. Let go of what? Well, it depends on the situation — anger, expectations, the need to be right, the desire for absolute control, the hunger to know every and all outcomes, disappointment, shame, guilt, sadness ... the list goes on.But even though I think many of us intellectually understand how much benefit there is to letting go, we still struggle to do it. When we're challenged in those emotionally charged moments to let go, sometimes we'll end up clinging tighter to the very thing that is holding us prisoner.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterSometimes it's because we're afraid.Of the unknown. Of what will be left (if anything) in the place of whatever we're releasing. There are a thousand little reasons why. In my case, personally, it's a spectrum of reasons. On one end, it's trauma that traps me. On the other end ... well, it's because a guy was super hot. And hotness can go a long way toward corrupting my ability to make smart decisions about my future.That's why George was so passionate about us addressing this topic. Whether it's the hotness of others, fears, or traumas from our past that keep us holding onto the people, places, and things that no longer serve us, we all deserve a chance to move forward.⚡ Go Deeper: What Self-Forgiveness Looks Like in Practice + Why It Matters So MuchIn this conversation, George and I discuss the challenges of letting go and the reasons why it can be difficult for people to put into practice. We explore the skills needed to let go, as well as the emotional attachments and fear of the unknown that hold people back. We also share personal experiences and examples of letting go in personal and professional life.Our conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus in the process of letting go. We examine the benefits of letting go, such as reduced stress, improved relationships, and personal growth. We also look at the consequences of failing to let go, including chronic stress and missed opportunities. Ultimately, our goal in this week's episode is simple — to empower you to remove the roadblocks standing between you and a joyful, fulfilling life.Takeaways + HighlightsLetting go is a crucial step in personal development and allows for growth and learning from past experiences.By releasing negative emotions and accepting the past, one can find peace, emotional well-being, and focus on the present.Letting go frees up mental space, leading to improved mental clarity, focus, and productivity.It is important to let go of control and embrace the unknown, as clinging to expectations and trying to predict the future can hinder personal growth and limit potential.Letting go creates space for abundance and allows for the things that are meant for us to come into our lives. Letting go can be challenging due to a lack of awareness and skills, emotional attachments, and fear of the unknown.Self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus are key in the practice of letting go.Questions We DiscussWhy is this conversation important to our collective beyond your default journey?When we say "letting go," what does that really mean?Why is it important for us to learn to let go?Why is it so hard for people to put this into practice, even though we know how valuable it is?How have we struggled in the past with letting go?When we say "letting go," what don't we mean?What does letting go look like in practice?What are the benefits of learning how to let go? And what are the consequences?Letting Go Quotes“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – Havelock Ellis“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van GoghOne of George's favorite sayings that has really stuck with me is this: “How you do the small things in life is how you do all things.”Not only is that a powerful maxim we should all think about in the context of our own lives, his statement also got me thinking about the role “small things” should play in our lives.For example, have you ever found yourself stuck in a "waiting" mindset? What I mean by that is, rather than focusing on and experiencing gratitude for where you are in the present, you find yourself perpetually longing and waiting big, shiny, new things to come along.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletter"I'll be happy when I finally have a relationship.""When I get that new job, everything will be perfect.""All I need is a new place to live, and then I'll be locked in.""One day I'll have the life I've always dreamed of, but until then ..."Looking ahead and planning for the future is key to possessing a growth mindset, but taken to the extreme, we run into problems. Specifically, we fail to recognize that we're living our lives fully and completely right now, while also overlooking the small things that are happening in our lives.Now, while George's statement and my example of "missing the small things in life" may seem different on the surface, they share a distinct and important commonality. They're both related symptoms of the same larger root problem that many of us suffer from without even realizing it.While BIG moments and BIG milestones certainly matter, the beauty of life (and often the true measure of our character) are found most often (and in greater abundance) in the "small things."⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations to Cultivate Confidence, + Self-TrustWhen I say small things, I want to be clear on what I’m talking about — small things can be small, seemingly insignificant choices, small events that pale in comparison to the milestones or achievements we seek, small actions or activities we engage in every day without thinking. Join George and I this week as we devote a big amount of attention to the small things. Together, we explore the concept of how you do small things is how you do all things, and how focusing on the small things can lead to a more fulfilling life. We also discuss the consequences of overlooking small things and the benefits of cultivating a reverence for them, as well as share practical tips for maintaining focus on the small things and appreciating their value.Small Things Takeaways + HighlightsKnowing the difference between milestones vs. destinations helps us appreciate the journey, not just where we're trying to go.Incorporating mindfulness into daily life can profoundly change how one perceives and experiences the world. By being fully present and engaged, individuals can appreciate the nuances of their experiences, leading to a deeper appreciation of life's small joys and a reduction in stress and anxiety.Cultivating a reverence for the small things teaches the value of simplicity, showing that happiness does not always stem from grand achievements or possessions but often from simple, everyday experiences.Think about getting a smile from someone you don't know, feeling the sun warm on your face, someone doing something nice for you, taking a quiet minute to yourself, or that happy feeling you get when your favorite song comes on. These small things happen daily, and even though they might seem tiny, they help shape how we feel and go through life.Small things matter so much because they accumulate to define the quality of our daily lives. Each small choice or experience, though seemingly inconsequential on its own, contributes to a larger tapestry that shapes our overall well-being and perception of life.The little things we do every day without thinking, like brushing our teeth or saying thank you, turn into habits. These habits shape our lives more than we might realize. When we make good small choices, they add up to good habits, which make our lives better.Giving our full attention is like a special present we can offer ourselves and the people around us. It means really diving into whatever we're doing or whoever we're talking to, which makes our work better and our connections with others stronger.This conversation is really important because it helps us see that life isn't just about the end results but also about how we get there and the experiences we share along the way.Questions We DiscussWhy is this conversation important to our collective beyond your default journey?“How you do the small things in life is how you do all things.” Where did that come from, and did you always believe that?Whether we’re talking about small choices we make or small experiences that seem inconsequential at the time, why do these small things matter so dang much?What are the consequences of overlooking or missing the small things?Why d

“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker PalmerWe've been dancing around the topic of self-care for a while now. Because, whether you're talking about understanding the line between genuine helpfulness and destructive self-sacrifice, or setting healthy boundaries for yourself in life and in relationships, self-care looms in the background. OK, "self-care looms" sounds more ominous than I intended, but I stand by it. Particularly since, much like our episode about toxic positivity, the conversation about self-care is also chock full of misconceptions, myths, and toxic online portrayals of what it means to get "self-care" right.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterIn fact, self-care has become such a confused topic, even George openly admitted during this episode how skeptical he was when I handed over the outline for this week:"I think why others and me struggle (with self-care) is because we don't have an action plan for it. Many times, we don't understand what it is. When I started to do the research (for this episode), I was like, 'Why are we even talking about this?' Liz, I slacked you and said, 'How do you feel about this topic? Are you excited about it?' I didn't understand what it really was."Was I upset when he shared this? Absolutely not! Because what he and I both discovered is how he is the perfect example of why this self-care conversation is needed. What is self-care? What isn't self-care? Is self-care selfish or indulgent? These are the questions so many of us struggle to answer — heck, even me, and I'm fully on board the self-care train. (Choo-choo!)⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations to Cultivate Confidence, + Self-TrustJoin George and I as we discuss the importance of self-care and the challenges people face in prioritizing it. We also explore the impact of upbringing on self-care practices and the misconceptions surrounding it. We examine the critical differences between self-care and self-indulgence, emphasizing the need for balance. We also share our personal favorite acts of self-care and provide advice for integrating self-care into daily life.Self-Care Takeaways + HighlightsSelf-care is about nurturing and caring for oneself in order to thrive.Understanding and prioritizing self-care requires self-awareness and recognizing the importance of one's own well-being.Self-worth plays a significant role in one's ability to prioritize and engage in self-care.Guilt and lack of awareness can hinder one's ability to make self-care a priority. Self-care may not have been modeled or explained well during childhood, leading to challenges in prioritizing it.Self-care is not about neglecting basic needs or escaping reality; it involves nourishing actions that promote overall well-being.Self-care is necessary and not selfish; it is good stewardship of the gift we have to offer others.Finding the balance between self-care and self-indulgence requires self-reflection, mindfulness, and moderation.Start small, identify enjoyable activities, schedule self-care, and practice self-compassion to integrate it into daily life.Questions We DiscussWhen we say self-care what do we mean? And why is it so important?How would we each describe our current relationships with self-care? Is it something we do well? Where do we struggle? Have we experienced issues with it in the past?Why do so many of us struggle to find time for (or create space for) self-care for ourselves?What isn't self-care?Is self-care selfish? And where do we draw the line between self-care and self-indulgence?How has social media negatively impacted our understanding of self-care?What advice do we have for folks who struggle to find ways to integrate self-care into their lives?Why is our ability to integrate self-care into our own lives so critical to our beyond your default journeys?Self-Care ResourcesWhat is self-care? (with examples)The truth about self-care myths5 things people get wrong about self-careWhy self-care isn’t selfishSelf-care isn’t selfish or superficialSelf-Care Quotes“I lied and said I was busy.I was busy;but not in a way most people understand.I was busy taking deeper breaths.I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.I was busy calming a racing heart.I was busy telling myself I am okay.Sometimes, this is my busy -and I will not apologize for it.”― Brittin Oakman“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment

“I'm not asking you to walk in my shoes; I'd never wish my afflictions on anyone. But could you walk beside me on secure ground and reach to hold my hand?” ― Richelle E. GoodrichThe concept of possessing a servant's heart has its roots in religion, specifically Christianity: "The servant’s heart means to help others in love without expecting something in return, serving in appreciation of the gifts God has already given us." However, embodying a servant's heart ideal is universal, meaning one can lean into this way of life through a wholly secular lens. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterWe are moving beyond those traditional religious connotations for this very reason in this week's episode. The idea of servanthood — of being helpful and genuinely of service to to others — is a core competency that we must all develop in order to live a life that is beyond our default.Our conversation examines the evolution of a servant's heart, as well as the critical role of self-care and setting boundaries in maintaining a healthy balance. We talk about the potential pitfalls of excessive helpfulness and the need for self-awareness in navigating the complexities of being of service to others — including my personal journey of addressing unhealed people-pleasing tendencies and my inclinations to "keep the peace" in emotionally unstable environments.George and Liz also discuss the importance of self-awareness and avoiding burnout. We explore examples of genuine helpfulness and the concept of servant leadership, as well as practical steps for taking baby steps towards a more servant-minded life.Our Favorite Helpfulness TipsRegularly check in with yourself to avoid burnout and prioritize self-care.Genuine helpfulness involves being proactive, honest, and transparent.Servant leadership focuses on the needs of others before considering your own.Start with small acts of kindness and active listening to cultivate a servant-minded life.Questions We DiscussWhen we say "servant's heart" what does that actually mean? Conversely, what isn't a servant's mentality?George has made no secret of the fact that his mindset has radically shifted over the years. That he struggled with anger and working through feelings of "but where are my blessings" – when and how did that change?Why is helpfulness core to living a life beyond your default?How and when do you see "helpfulness" lapse into becoming problematic?How do you find a balance between being helpful and knowing when you need to help yourself?Where is the line between genuine helpfulness vs. people-pleasing and trauma-born attempts to regulate the emotions of a situation?What does genuine helpfulness look like in practice?If someone struggles to break out of a default that is more self-focused, how do we encourage someone to take baby steps toward a more servant-minded life?

“You have only to rest in inaction and things will transform themselves. Smash your form and body, spit out hearing and eyesight, forget you are a thing among other things, and you may join in great unity with the deep and boundless.” ― ZhuangziLast episode, we talked about one of the greatest challenges we all face when we go in search of true personal growth — knowing the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity. This week, we're digging into the other insidious extreme that seems to crop up in growth mindset circles, and that's a relentless pursuit of productive, proactive, forward movement at all times. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterChoosing a course of inaction or stillness is often viewed as a cop out move, steeped in passivity. That's why quotes like, "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," OR "The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything," from Theodore Roosevelt are so popular. Heck, we love those quotes, too. And if you've listened to previous episodes of this show, you know George and I are huge fans of being the proactive architects of our own lives through the adoption of an owner's mentality, making the choice to be the victor instead of the victim, and so on.Still, we believe in balance. You cannot be moving forward at all times. Not every moment — particularly deeply emotional moments — should be met with brute force productivity. In fact, sometimes the best course of action is inaction. Sometimes the most radical way forward is to choose intentional stillness. ⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-TrustIn this episode, George and I share personal stories of how we've wrestled to strike that balance between productivity and stillness with profound results.As George pointed out in our chat:"Listen in the journey of beyond your default, stillness is not just about physical inactivity. It's a profound mental and emotional practice. It's about stepping out of the autopilot mode of existence and knee-jerk responses, and engaging with life in a way that is more conscious, thoughtful, and authentic."Over the years, in our own ways, we've learned the hard way that action isn't always the best way forward, as well as what the consequences of failing to embrace moments of stillness truly are. So, join us for this illuminating conversation in which we uncover the power of stillness, of going within in pursuit of peace and personal growth. It's not always easy — that fine line between purposeful inaction and deferential passivity is a fine one — but it's essential.Questions We DiscussWhy was George quite literally bouncing with excitement about this episode?When have we learned the hard way that action isn't always the best course of action?How have we put moments of stillness into practice in our own lives, and what were the results?What is the difference between purposeful stillness and immobilized passivity that's going to bite you in the ass later on?What are we doing internally during that time of stillness? What purpose does inaction serve for us? Is it a catalyst for an internalized process?How do you know when stillness is the right choice?When do you know it's time to start taking action again?How do you handle it when folks react poorly to your choice to not take action? Where a reaction is wanted from you?Why is learning to be still such a critical part of the beyond your default journey?

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions." — Brené BrownToxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. Here's what's fascinating about toxic positivity though. While verbs like "avoiding," "suppressing," and "rejecting" sound overtly negative, acts toxic positivity are cloaked in — you guessed it — positivity. Good vibes only! Everything happens for a reason! You can choose to be happy! On the surface, these sentiments sound well-intentioned and, well ... positive.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterGood vibes are a good thing. Contextualizing circumstances as part of a greater narrative can offer a new perspective. We do have points in our lives where we need to make the conscious choice to pick ourselves up emotionally and move forward with the mindset of a victor rather than a victim.However, there is a distinct line between possessing a growth mindset that is healthy and creates space for processing your emotions, and demonizing your emotions (positive and negative) as signs of inherent weakness or irrationality. Unfortunately, this line is becoming more blurry in personal growth, as well as entrepreneurial circles. ⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-TrustAnd that's where our conversation begins. In this episode, George and I explore the aggressive push for emotional productivity and the insidious attractiveness of toxic positivity. Our conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging and honoring all emotions, as well as the need for empathy and understanding in supporting others. We also get real about our own struggles with toxic positivity — both as recipients and givers of toxically positive advice. Questions We DiscussWhy is it so important to talk about toxic positivity in the context of personal and professional development?What are our personal experiences with toxic positivity?Why is there such an aggressive "push" to be 100% productive about our emotions all the time?How does toxic positivity manifest in spirituality?Where is the line being between toxic positivity, and genuine optimism and adopting a victor mentality?Why is it important for us to honor our feelings and emotions?How do these challenges manifest in how men and women are expected to handle/suppress their emotions at opposing extremes?How would you suggest folks respond to someone if they find themselves in tWhat is possible when we allow ourselves to experience our true feelings and emotions?Toxic Positivity ResourcesWhat is toxic positivity and why is it so harmful? (ADAA)Toxic positivity at work (Science of People)How to handle toxic positivity at work (The Muse)A warning for leaders, don't confuse optimism and toxic positivity (Forbes)The toll toxic positivity takes on educators (NEA)Growth mindset vs. toxic positivity (Elizabeth Gardiner)Don't push away your negative emotions (The Atlantic)Toxic Positivity vs. Genuine OptimismQuotes About Emotions"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you." — Roger Ebert“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don't lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.” ― Sabaa Tahir“So often we're not allowed to feel upset--even for a minute--without the world rushing us to do something about it. But why can't I feel upset?” ― Allyson Dinneen"Avoiding negative emotions is like trying to hide in the darkness; face them, and you'll find the light."— Anita Moorjani“Hope confronts. It does not ignore pain, agony, or injustice. It is not a saccharine optimism that refuses to see, face, or grapple with the wretchedness of reality. You can't have hope without despair, because hope is a response. Hope is the active conviction that despair will never have the last word.” — Cory Booker“Contrary to popular belief, there are no negative emotions. There are only emotions that are harder to experience or that cause more distress for certain people. And the more you suppress those emotions, the harder they are to manage.” — Whitney Goodman

"Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday." — Wilma RudolphFeeling like you've failed at something sucks. But how should you handle and react to that failure? That depends on who you ask. In some of the more toxic positivity-loving pockets of the growth mindset crowd, you may be coached to overlook uncomfortable feelings, because to sit with your feelings is demonstrative of a weak mind who is unable to look at life through an unflinchingly "logical," growth-focused lens. 🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Subscribe to the Beyond Your Default newsletterOf course, the other extreme isn't great either. Wallowing in self-pity, lapsing potentially into a victim mentality, and allowing failure to color your ability to move forward is also equally destructive.As a process-loving gal, I love when there are a simple set of instructions to follow in complex situations — a playbook you can whip out, whatever the case may be, that will guide you through whatever wilderness you find yourself in. Unfortunately, that's not quite how failure works. Failures come in all shapes and sizes. In some cases, yes, we made a mistake, and we have to pick ourselves back up and take the lessons we've learned with us as we move forward. In other cases, we may not have failed at all, we just can't see the big picture yet.⚡ Go Deeper: What It Means to Forgive Others (+ Why It Matters)Or, we're going to look back on a "failure" as the best thing that ever happened to us. Heck, sometimes we only think we failed because someone told us we did — by their standards. In reality, however, we're doing just fine, and we should be listening to our own compass instead. So, this week, George and I dive into the deep end of failure. We share personal stories of failure, discuss the importance of grit and resilience, and talk about the importance of being able to sit with uncomfortable feelings. A great companion episode to this is our conversation about cultivating your ability to practice self-compassion and forgiveness. Questions We DiscussHow did early failures in our lives color how we contextualized failure in our lives?How do we define our relationship with failure now?Why does failure hurt so much?How does the toxic positivity movement play into how some of us try to address our own failures?In hindsight, what failures in our lives were actually blessings in disguise?How do we handle folks in our lives who will always perceive us as failures, by their standards?What do you see as the key differences between folks who are able to bounce back from failures and those who get stuck?What's worse than failure? And what would a life completely devoid of failure look like?How can someone who struggles with fatalistic or catastrophic thinking work to shift their perspectives on the failures in their own lives?Essential Companion EpisodesVictim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the DifferenceIn the heat of the moment, when anger or fear flashes through our bodies, it can feel easier (healing or cathartic, even!) to point at the world and yell, "Why are you doing this to me?!" Forgiveness, Part II: The Healing Power of Forgiving OurselvesMuch like other "big life concepts" such as love and happiness, our ability to express and bestow forgiveness to others begins with our ability to find forgiveness and self-compassion within.Failure ResourcesWhy Some People Succeed After Failure When Others Flounder (Northwestern University)7 Ways to Bounce Back Stronger After Failure (Forbes)How Do You Bounce Back from Failure? (AskReddit)How to Transform Failure into a Positive Experience (NIH)Strategies for Learning From Failure (HBR)

If you want to accomplish anything in life — achieve audacious goals, have healthy and loving relationships, cultivate meaningful connections, or even create some peace and freakin' quiet for yourself — you need to become a master of setting boundaries. But when we say "boundaries," what do we mean?Well, we're not talking about ultimatums. We're not talking about avoidance of others. We're not talking about limitations either. Boundaries are a set of personal guidelines or rules you set as a beyond your default-living human to safeguard your well-being and your values.🌱 Go Deeper: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really? (Fact vs. Fiction)But why are boundaries so important? What do unhealthy boundaries look like? And how can you tell if you have issues with boundaries in your own life? On this week's episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I pull back the curtain on our own evolving relationships with boundaries over the years to answer these essential life questions and more.Questions We DiscussWhen we say "boundaries" what are we really talking about? How are boundaries different from ultimatums, avoidance, and limitations?What's the difference between internal boundaries and external boundaries?Why are boundaries absolutely essential to this journey?What are some of the common reasons folks can end up having boundary issues?How have George and I struggled with boundaries throughout our lives? Were there any catalyst moments that pushed us to change our approach?How can folks tell if boundaries are in issue in their life?What does setting healthy boundaries look like?Look, sometimes setting boundaries will not always please people — what should those moments tell us?What is one question you want to challenge our listeners to think about over the coming week, when it comes to their own boundaries?Signs You May Have Boundary IssuesOvercommitting: Regularly taking on more than you can handle or feeling pressured to agree to every request or opportunity.Difficulty Making Decisions: Relying excessively on others for decision-making can be a sign of unclear personal boundaries.Tolerating Disrespect or Poor Treatment: Continually allowing others to treat you disrespectfully without addressing it.Feeling Overwhelmed or Drained: Consistently feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, especially after interactions with others, can indicate poor boundaries.Neglecting Self-Care: Consistently putting others' needs before your own to the point where your own well-being suffers.Morning Routine ResourcesEstablishing Effective Personal Boundaries (Vanderbilt Medical)Trust, Safety, and Respect (The Importance of Boundaries)8 Signs Someone Has a Problem with Boundaries (Psychology Today)Toxic Behaviors: 12 Examples of Unhealthy Boundaries (Psych Central)15 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries in Relationships (Marriage.com)

I did a little research and, according to "the experts," here are honest-to-goodness real recommendations of the things you should accomplish before 9 a.m.:Wake up anywhere between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m.NEVER, EVER hit snooze, only people wasting their life away hit snoozeWorkout at homeGo to the gymDo yogaOr run three milesOR start with a mobility workout and then do a second workout of plyometricsEmpty the dishwasherDo your morning skincare routineComplete your daily gratitude journalThen, if your faith is a priority, the Bible or prayThen complete your morning pages, if you subscribe to The Artist's WayThen read for 25 minutes from a book that enriches your mindMeditateDo positive affirmations in the mirrorEat a well-rounded home-cooked breakfastOr don't eat anything because you're fastingOr make a homemade smoothie with raw vegetables and fruits and vitaminsDrink 32 ounces of waterReview your emails and answer anything outstandingMake your plan for the dayBut also don't think about work at all, that's your timeGive yourself a pep talkDo something that brings you joy, like reading a bookListen to a podcast while sitting under a light therapy lampTake a hot showerNo, scratch that, take a cold showerNo, no wait – sit in an ice bath for no more than 15 minutesComplete a visualization for manifestationGo on a trail hike and watch the sun riseMake your bedDon't check your social mediaGo forest bathingDon't forget your kids! Make them a balanced breakfast and a lunch for school!Also, have you meal prepped? Might want to pop that roast in the slow cooker before you leave for your morning commute or move to your home office for the day.Now, once you complete this to do list, you can start your day!OK, to be fair no one suggested you should do all of these things before you hit 9 a.m. — and don't get me wrong there are a lot of good ideas on this list. But as we start this new year, with many of us eyeing personal growth and improvement as part of our roadmap going into 2024 (myself included), we need to have a conversation about how out of hand the idea of The Perfect Morning Routine ☀️ has become.🌱 Go Deeper: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really? (Fact vs. Fiction)There are so many "absolutely essential" recommendations out there for what we're all supposed to be doing each morning as go-getters who want more out of life than the status quo, it almost feels like we need an extra 24 hours before the sun rises to do everything we're supposed to do.So, where is the line between a healthy morning routine and a morning routine that is toxic and unrealistic? And how do you make the right choices for your own morning routine? Questions We DiscussRespectively, what are our current relationships with the idea of a morning routine?What do our mornings currently look like, and how do we wish they would change? How have our morning routines evolved and adapted over time?What are the good, the bad, and the ugly reasons the growth mindset crowd is so freakin' obsessed with the idea of the perfect morning routine?What are the most toxic morning routine recommendations we've seen, and how can you tell the difference between a healthy morning routine idea and one that is toxic?How should folks with a growth mindset go about constructing their own morning routine? How can someone know what advice to follow and what advice to ignore?Key TakeawaysMorning routines should be personalized and sustainable, rather than following a one-size-fits-all approach. You need to be mindful and purposeful in your choices.The obsession with optimizing morning routines can lead to unrealistic expectations and increased stress.Designing a morning routine that aligns with personal goals and values is more important than following popular recommendations.Morning routines should focus on intentionality, flexibility, and setting oneself up for success.Consistency and prioritization are key in creating a morning routine that works for individual needs and lifestyles. Clean and organized spaces can have a significant impact on the quality of morning routines.When constructing a morning routine, it is important to personalize it based on individual needs, preferences, and goals.Approach mornings with intention and focus on simplicity and sustainability to create a nurturing and adaptable routine.Morning Routine ResourcesAre these morning routine myths ruining your day (Early to Rise)The myth behind morning routines (Forbes)Morning routine statistics (Dream Maker)More morning routine statistics (Thrive My Way)Quotes to Inspire Your Mornings“Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”— Unknown“Meditate five minutes each morning and see it wake up your entire life.” ― Waylon H. Lewis“Your energy in the morning is a clean slate, and you get a chance each day to build it up the way you want.”― Mridula Singh“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . . It’s the hap-happiest season of all.”So says a classic song of the holiday season. But is it?A lesser known Christmas song by Dean Martin sheds a little light on what some folks — regardless of their religious affiliation — might be feeling this time of year, when commercials push family togetherness and talk of New Year's resolutions start in full swing:The Christmas Blues by Dean MartinThe jingle bells are jinglingThe streets are white with snowThe happy crowds are minglingBut there's no one that I knowI'm sure that you'll forgive meIf I don't enthuseI guess I've got the Christmas bluesI've done my window shoppingThere's not a store I've missedBut what's the use of stoppingWhen there's no one on your listYou'll know the way I'm feelingWhen you love and you loseI guess I've got the Christmas bluesWhen somebody wants youSomebody needs youChristmas is a joy of joyBut friends, when you're lonelyYou'll find that it's onlyA thing for little girls and little boysMay all your days be merryYour seasons full of cheerBut 'til it's JanuaryI'll just go and disappearOh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoesBut Santa only brought me the bluesThose brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas bluesOh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoesBut Santa only brought me the bluesThose brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas bluesThis week, we're not pretending that, for some of us, this time of year is a jingle bell-decked cake walk. Instead, we're leaning into the discomfort, loneliness, and stress some of us may be feeling as we look ahead to the new year. Rest assured, if any part of those lyrics resonated with you, you're certainly not alone. Heck, the last thing this holiday season is for me this year is normal, so I'm right there with you. So, gather 'round, friends. Your feelings, whatever they may be (anger, fear, lack of connection), are entirely valid. Now, let's talk about how we can move forward through this season together — perhaps with different perspectives.Questions We DiscussHow do George and I struggle with the holiday season?What is it about this time of year that creates so much artificial pressure to be joyous and goal-oriented? How much of this pressure is external? How much of it do we create for ourselves?When you're just not feeling the holiday season, how do we navigate it? Why do we have such complex feelings about New Year's resolutions?How would we encourage folks who struggle with New Year's resolutions, and the idea of a new year feels more overwhelming and daunting, to think about 2024? Key TakeawaysReframe your expectations and create new traditions during the holiday season.Take time for yourself and simplify your to-do list.Connect with your why and be honest about your feelings.Avoid the pressure to conform to societal expectations and focus on what brings you joy.Instead of setting New Year's resolutions, strive for continuous personal growth throughout the year. Change your perspective on New Year's and view it as a fresh start rather than a time to fix past failures.Set monthly goals instead of overwhelming resolutions.Align your priorities and expectations to ensure they are in harmony.Embrace the present moment and appreciate the progress you have made.Believe in yourself and make 2024 the year of self-love.Holiday + New Year's StatisticsThe holiday season sparks conflicting feelings as over two in five U.S. adults (43%) would use both positive and negative words to describe the holidays, and 72% agree that the holiday season can feel bittersweet. Four in five adults (80%) would describe the holidays in positive terms such as fun (50%), joyous (49%), or exciting (45%), while 63% would use negative words such as stressful (40%), overwhelming or exhausting (34% each).To manage the stress of the holiday season, nearly nine in 10 adults who reported experiencing stress at this time (88%) said they have coping mechanisms that help them handle it. A majority of adults who experience stress (70%) said they are comfortable talking with others about their stress during this time—although only 41% said they actually do so—while others focus on strategies such as managing their expectations (38%), reminding themselves that the season will pass (35%) or volunteering to help others (16%).Fewer adults said they turn to negative or potentially harmful coping mechanisms during the holiday season. Close to two in five adults who experience stress during the holiday season (38%) said they use negative coping mechanisms such as isolating themselves (21%), changing their eating habits by overeating or restricting their diets (16%), or relying on substances such as alcohol or nicotine to feel better (13%).

I want to ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly. Do you typically view life as happening to you, or do you consider yourself in control of your life, an active participant in the events that transpire?This question is the core of our discussion in this week's episode on knowing (and living) the difference between a victim's mentality and a victor's mentality in your life. The challenge, of course, is that a victor's mentality is a choice we have to make. And we don't make it once. We have to make it over and over and over, every single day — heck, sometimes multiple times a day.🌶️ Spice up your inbox: Change your life with the Beyond Your Default newsletterIn the heat of the moment, when anger or fear flashes through our bodies, it can feel easier (healing or cathartic, even!) to point at the world and yell, "Why are you doing this to me?!" Then there are those moments where we are truly the victims of the actions of others, where holding others accountable is not only warranted but absolutely essential as we chart a path forward. That's why, when we look to live a life beyond our norms, our confining defaults, simply defining what a victim mentality is isn't enough to step into the mindset of a victor. Becoming a victor requires you to not only possess self-awareness and a willingness to accept responsibility, you also must practice forgiveness and compassion. And that is where our conversation begins.Questions We DiscussWhat is a victim mentality vs. a victor mentality?How do you tell the difference between moments of embracing victimhood and rightfully holding others accountable?Is there such a thing as going too far AWAY from a victim mentality? Is there a time when it's OK to feel your feelings? Is there such a thing as taking too much upon your own shoulders?In that moment where you feel feelings of victimhood arising, where you're viscerally reacting to something rather than thoughtfully responding, how do you bring yourself back to center with a victor mentality?How do you measure success with your mentality?What is the difference you've seen in your life when you make purposeful strides toward choosing the role of victor in your own life, rather than the victim?Are you in an abusive relationship ... with yourself?How to Cultivate a Victor's MindsetWhen asked what someone can do to develop healthy expectations for themselves, George shared how important mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can be for this act of holistic self-discovery. The process for getting to know yourself should include:Empowerment: We must understand that while we can't control every aspect of our lives, we have significant influence, aka power, over how we respond to and interact with our life circumstances. This sense of empowerment fosters confidence and a proactive approach to life.Responsibility and accountability: Those who have or want a victor's mindset embrace responsibility for their actions and their lives. Rather than attributing their challenges or failures to external factors, they look inward to determine how they can change or adapt.Resilience and perseverance: Resilience is a hallmark of a victor's mindset. It's about bouncing back from setbacks and viewing obstacles as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.Positive and proactive attitude: As victors, we are characterized by our positivity and proactive nature. We don't wait for opportunities to come to us; we create them. This attitude drives us to pursue our goals with enthusiasm and determination, always looking for ways to advance and succeed vs. shutting down and giving up!Solutions-oriented approach: Rather than dwelling on problems, those of us who have or want to have a victor's mindset focus on finding solutions. This approach keeps us moving forward and prevents stagnation.Growth mindset: We have an entire episode dedicated to growth mindset, because it is a key to being a victor in your own life. I encourage you to listen to it, but as a sneak peek, it involves a commitment to lifelong learning and an openness to feedback and new experiences.Adaptability and flexibility: The ability to adapt to changing circumstances and to be flexible in the face of new challenges is crucial. As victors we understand that rigidity can be a barrier to success. We are willing to adjust our strategies as needed, demonstrating agility in both thought and action.Questions to Ask During Tough TimesAre you Focusing on Blame?Do you often find yourself blaming others or external circumstances for your challenges and unhappiness?When things go wrong, is your first instinct to look for someone or something to blame?How Do I View Challenges?Do you see challenges as insurmountable problems or as opportunities for growth and learning?When faced with a setback, do you feel completely powerless, or do you look for ways to overcome it?What is Your Response to Feedback?How do you react to constructive criticism or feedback? Do you get defensive, or do you

"Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations."— Earl Nightingale The expectations we set for ourselves not only dictate what we are able to achieve, they also impact our internal personal growth, as well as our happiness. However, there is such a thing as unhealthy expectations — and the act of setting expectations for yourself is akin to charting a course with clear markers toward success while acknowledging your limitations.🌱 Go Deeper: Cultivating a home from within to create the home we seek withoutOver the years, both George and I have learned that establishing healthy expectations that cultivate growth, self-trust, and confidence involves finding a delicate balance between ambition and reality. It's not about restraining your aspirations but about ensuring they are achievable and sustainable.But it's also important to remember that peaks and valleys along the way, as you live out your expectations each and every day, are something we all encounter. You can't compare yourself to others, and we've both learned how important it is to focus on our own path, with clear boundaries around how much we let others influence us. Some days are better than others. Life is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable.🌱 Go Deeper: Adopting an owner's mentality in your own lifeHealthy expectations act as a buffer, fostering resilience and enabling you to navigate challenges with greater fortitude. But how do you create healthy expectations? How do you set yourself up for success with aspirational expectations that align with your values but don't set yourself up for failure? And how do you manage the deprogramming aspect you may need to undertake if you've struggled not to fall prey to unhealthy expectations — either self-imposed or imposed by others?In this episode, George and I explore these questions and more. Because the expectations we set for ourselves and live by are so essential to walking the path beyond your default.Questions We DiscussWhy is setting expectations so important in your beyond your default journey?How have the expectations you've set for yourself evolved or changed over the years? Do you expect more or less of yourself? Do you simply expect differently of yourself?What are examples of expectations you hold for yourself now, and how did you choose them?What's the difference between setting healthy and unhealthy expectations?What are the best ways to strike a balance between the influence and input of others, and making the right choices for ourselves, when it comes to setting healthy expectations?What is an exercise someone can do to develop the right set of expectations for themselves that challenge them to reach without setting them up to fail?What do you do when you fall short of expectations? How do you get back up again?Exercises to Set ExpectationsWhen asked what someone can do to develop healthy expectations for themselves, George shared how important mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can be for this act of holistic self-discovery. The process for getting to know yourself should include:Reflect on your past experiences, because before you can determine where you want to go, you need to define clearly where you right now and how you got here.Align your expectations with your values and abilities, so you can root your expectations in your moral compass and your current competencies, skills, and reach.Be realistic and flexible, and never forget that you're human. As we talked about on a previous episode, you should revere your own humanity and be kind to yourself on this journey.Focus on effort, not just outcomes. Celebrate the journey you're taking, and remember showing up each and every day to try your best is a big win. Yes, outcomes matter, but so does your commitment. Practice self-compassion, because you will not be perfect every single day. None of us are. Sometimes you will fall down. Sometimes you will make mistakes. That's OK. Be self-compassionate and keep going.Other ResourcesSuggestions for setting realistic expectations for yourself (Psych Central)How to set realistic expectations + expert recommendations (The Thirty)

“I am always doing what I cannot do yet. In order to learn how to do it.” — Vincent Van GoghInevitably, when you have conversations about growth of any kind – personal or professional – someone will toss up the need for a "growth mindset."To achieve your dreams, you need a growth mindset.To advance in your career, you need a growth mindset.To be a great leader, you need a growth mindset.And so on, you get my point. However, this conversation (much like our discussion about possessing an owner's mentality about your own life) leaves the door open to a lot of questions that are often left unanswered. What exactly is a growth mindset anyway? What do most folks get wrong about it? And what does life look like if you choose to operate with a fixed mentality?Living beyond your default requires a growth mindset, and today we are going to dig deep into what that looks like. As George put it so eloquently in this episode:"If you live with a fixed mindset, how can you dream the big, amazing dreams that lead you to set goals and create habits and best practices to get you on that path to the future? That path to a life beyond your default! If you have a closed mindset, you most likely are not listening to this podcast — but if you are, please work on the transition from a closed mindset to a growth mindset. Or, if you feel like you are straddling the fence between the two, make the jump to a personal growth mindset for your personal development and empowered living!"Questions We DiscussWhy does this conversation matter? Why is it so important for us to pause and discuss with specificity what a growth mindset is and isn't?What is a growth mindset? And what does it look like when you don't have one?What are some of the characteristics of folks who possess a growth mindset?I know the journey from fixed mindset to growth mindset is one you've walked. Can you tell me about a time in your life where you felt challenged to embrace a growth mindset?Similar to our previous conversation about owner's mentality, the idea of an "growth mindset" also has a dark side – a toxic side – what does that look like, and how should it be avoided?A growth mindset is a choice, but how can one cultivate a growth mindset within themselves? Are there specific steps they can take?What is the cost of living with a fixed mindset?Growth Mindset FrameworkDuring this episode, George shared his 12-point framework for purposefully and thoughtfully cultivating a growth mindset:Embrace ChallengesView challenges as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as obstacles to avoid.Be PatientPatience is a virtue!Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success." - Napoleon HillStay Persistent - (Consistency)Cultivate resilience and perseverance in the face of challenges, setbacks, and doubts.Learn from SetbacksAnalyze failures as valuable lessons and stepping stones toward improvement.Effort is KeyUnderstand that effort and hard work are essential for progress and mastery.Embrace Experimentation and Focus on ProcessConcentrate on the process and the journey, not just the end result.Practice makes perfect. "Practice makes permanence!" (Eric Thomas)Solve ProblemsContinuous Learning = Curiosity and CreativityContinue improvementSeek out new knowledge and skills to consistently expand your capabilities.Set Healthy ExpectationsWhat do you expect from yourself?Aim for 1% better each and every day!Get to Know Yourself Better and Embrace Positive Self-TalkWe did a whole episode on how you talk to yourself about yourself! Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that reinforce your abilities, strengths, and potential.Celebrate ProgressAcknowledge and celebrate even small achievements along your journey.Inspire OthersShare your growth experiences and inspire others to adopt a growth mindset.Embrace Constructive CriticismUse constructive criticism as a means to refine your skills and performance.

Anger, like fear, is a tricky emotion. It's necessary. It's unavoidable. It can be directive. It can also be destructive, depending on how much we let it control our decision-making and rule our lives. What's also interesting about anger is that it is often a Trojan horse, masking what true emotional stakes are at play in a given situation:SourceWhether anger is the true emotion we're feeling or a cover for what our real feelings are in a given situation, it's important for us to understand what it means to have a healthy relationship with anger. ⚡ Related: Mastering Fear to Understand + Harness Your Emotional GPSBecause when our relationship with anger goes unchecked, it can wreak havoc in our lives. Anger can harm relationships, derail our goals, and make it near impossible to live a life that extends beyond our defaults. But when we do make peace with anger, learn to understand its true purpose in our lives, and begin to see what anger can teach us, so much more becomes possible. As Mark Twain once said:"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."And that's what this episode is all about.Questions We DiscussWhat has our relationship been with anger over the years? Have you ever experienced a moment in your life where you realized anger was playing an outsized role in your life?Like fear, anger can often become a ruling, destructive force in our lives … how does that happen?Why is understanding our relationship with anger critical to living beyond your default?Is there ever a case for anger, where it’s a valuable feeling that should be honored?How do you tell the difference between healthy bouts of anger and moments of anger you need to move through?What questions or strategies do you look to in your day to day life, when it comes to managing or moving through feelings of anger?Key Conversation PointsGeorge shares stories from his life that taught him how to reframe the anger he was feeling, as well as what we learned from the process of allowing himself to experience true emotional pain.George also shared his RAIN framework for working with anger — Recognize it, Allow it, Investigate it, and Nurture it.We discussed breathwork, calming self-talk, visualizations, and restorative yoga practices as great practices for managing moments of anger.How George Challenged HimselfWhen George started to notice the relationship he had with anger, he turned the high-powered microscope he had pointed at other people on himself. He did this by asking himself pointed questions, including:Who am I?Who have I become?How do I want to show up?What part did I have to play?What lessons can I learn?Who do I want to be?Once George had the answers to those questions, then and only then could he pay attention to the words of Lee Iacocca, who said: "In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."You see, once you have your answers to those questions, you can turn your historical anger into the positive energy you need to make the long journey you are on to a better life, to self-fulfillment, to a life beyond your default.Other ResourcesHow to use anger as a force for goodControl Anger Before it Controls YouAnger might help you achieve your goalsUnderstanding and Processing AngerScripture"Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye." Matthew 7:3-5"So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, 'Get these out of here!'" John 2:15-17

"Hold on, let me grab my notebook!"If you've listened to Beyond Your Default for any length of time, you've likely caught George and I saying this to each other during our conversations. That's because, like you, we're walking our own Beyond Your Default paths. Like you, we are doing our best each and every day to live a more meaningful, purposeful, and authentic life.We don't think of ourselves as masters preaching from upon high, with every lesson we need to learn as humans on this earth completely in our rearview mirror. Quite the contrary! We consider ourselves works in progress. ⚡ Go Deeper: The Healing Power of Forgiving OurselvesThat's why we invited Don Stanley (whom you'll learn more about below!) onto the show for our first Work in Progress check-in episode.Unlike our regular episodes, in which George and I talk to each other about very specific and well-defined topics, our Work in Progress episodes put both George and I in the hot seat with Don, who will talk to us about how our own Beyond Your Default journeys are going. What have we learned?Where are we struggling?What are we looking forward to?These are some of the questions you can expect us to explore as we take you behind the scenes for a raw and honest look of what we're working through. In this first Work in Progress check-in, specifically, we discuss self-forgiveness, fear, and the circles we're building for ourselves. Meet Don Stanley, Our InterviewerDon Stanley is an internationally recognized digital marketing and sales coach, speaker and university educator. As the co-founder of Wisconsin-based 3RhinoMedia, he has personally guided a wide array of clients ranging from Fortune 500 companies, professional athletes, start-ups, non-profit organizations and solopreneurs through the ever-changing digital marketing and sales landscape. During his 20+ years in business and in higher education he has worked with hundreds of businesses and thousands of students.Don is often asked to share his perspectives on digital media and he has been featured on some of the top business blogs in the world including the Content Marketing Institute, the Content Marketing Academy and Mark Schaefer’s BusinessesGrow.com. He also has been featured on TV, radio and media including Marketplace Radio, This American Life, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, USA Today, Sports Illustrated, and he is a regular guest on numerous podcasts. In addition to his work at 3RhinoMedia, Don is an award-winning faculty member at the University of Wisconsin-Madison where he teaches courses on social media and digital marketing.Key Conversation PointsDon's role in the Beyond Your Default family. What has surprised George and Liz about their own Beyond Your Default journey since they hit record on the first episode. The greatest challenges George and Liz have faced thus far on their Beyond Your Default journey — from reactions of our listeners and the uphill climb as you approach success, to the impact our conversations have internally and how much we needed this podcast for ourselves.Reflecting on episode 9 about relationships, George talked about the careful circles of friends, family, and community he's cultivated to stay grounded, as well as the thought leaders and mentors who shape his thinking.Calling back to episode 15's topic of self-forgiveness, Liz shared her struggles and breakthroughs with self-forgiveness through her abusive upbringing, divorce, and rebuilding her life from scratch.George recalled themes from episode 11 about fear by opening up about the fears he's currently wrestling with, as well as how he's working through them.Liz talked about how she works to ground herself through the massive life changes she's been moving through this year — as well as the massive differences between our perceptions of what grounding is supposed to look like vs. what it actually looks like.

"Hey, I made it home safely!"I fired off that text message just before midnight on Sunday night, as my face was in a state of free-fall, hurtling at top speed toward the soft pillow on my bed. I was exhausted. After a long weekend of shenanigans and making memories out of state with a few close friends, I had finally made it back to Connecticut in one piece. ⚡ Related: What Is Beyond Your Default? (The Start of the Journey)Here's what's funny about that text message. I hadn't used the word "home" to describe where I've been staying since ... well, March of this year? Maybe even February?For those who've been listening to the podcast for any length of time, that's not brand new information. Earlier this year, I smashed the "detonate" button on my life. I got a divorce from the man I had been with for more than 15 years. I moved away from Maryland to Connecticut. And on and on. It's been a year of change, of forced fresh starts, of taking charge, of leaping into the unknown in very big ways ... and also intense feelings of being unmoored and adrift. Belonging nowhere. In places, never quite "of" them.Then, with little to no fanfare, and no particular catalyst moment I can identify ... suddenly my short-term rental tucked away in the shadow of Yale Hospital in New Haven became a home. But it was a sensation that had less to do with my surroundings and more to do with a sudden warmth and knowing I felt within my heart. ⚡ Related: Mastering Fear to Understand + Harness Your Emotional GPSAnd that's what this episode is all about. The idea of "home" is different for each of us. But how do we define home? What are the mindsets and ideas one can embrace to create that sense of belonging that we crave, as humans, so deeply? Join George and I as we explore the home within that's waiting for each and every one of you.Questions We DiscussWhat does it really mean to be at "home" somewhere? What is the difference between a house and a home?How is finding a home a choice we make?What do happiness, originality, mastery, and evolution come together within to help us create a sense of home and true belonging?Key Conversation PointsBy the time George had turned 15, he had moved 15 times. So, his relationship with the idea of home — as well as how he defines it — is different than most. He learned to cultivate that sense of belonging within at a young age.What do academics say about home? It's a place to entrust your sleep. It's a symbol of ourselves. It's a firewall against chaos.What do our body and spirit have to do with the idea of home? This is essential to understand, as it unlocks our ability to live beyond our default. Our body is the building, but our spirit (mind) is the real home.Key Conversation Points"A house is built by wisdom, and it is established by understanding; by knowledge, the rooms are filled with every precious and beautiful treasure."― Proverbs 24:3-4“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”— Maya Angelou“Home isn’t where you’re from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark.”― Pierce Brown, American author

If you've spent any time in entrepreneurial or startup culture circles, the concept of "adopting an owner's mentality" is likely not new to you. Plenty of founders and C-suite folks in those spaces often will talk to their employees about the importance of approaching their work with an owner's mindset.⚡ Go Deeper: What Does It Mean to Truly Forgive Ourselves?In some cases, it's a good thing, as it can help employees contextualize their actions in a way that helps everyone move forward, instead of thinking of themselves as autonomous contributors. In other cases, it's a more toxic way to set the conditions for folks to overwork themselves, in the name of "thinking like an owner."What's interesting, however, is that this idea of "owner's mindset" is completely absent from discussions about our personal lives. Sure, there's plenty of conversation around avoiding a "victim mentality," but what does it mean to adopt an owner's mentality — the proactive, positive flip side of that coin — in one's own life?And, in doing so, what opportunities, resources, and possibilities can suddenly become available to us? This is exactly what George and I explore in this episode. Because living a life beyond your own current default state only becomes possible when you are willing to take the steering wheel of your own life.Questions We DiscussWhat does it mean to adopt an owner’s mentality in ones own personal life?Why do we think this idea is so prevalent in the professional spaces but not personal?What are catalyst moments in our lives where we challenged ourselves to adopt an owner's mentality?What does having an owner’s mentality in one’s own life look like in practice? What is the difference between owning, renting, and borrowing in our lives?How can someone determine if this is an area where they need a little extra TLC?

Welcome to part two of our conversation about forgiveness. As we shared in our last episode, we noted a distinct and organic trend emerge through some of our previous topics.Whether we were talking about good ego vs. bad ego, cultivating relationships in our lives, or wrestling with fear, George and I noticed some element of forgiveness was required to move through these opportunities and challenges to truly create a pathway toward living beyond your default.⚡ Go Deeper: What It Means to Forgive Others (+ Why It Matters)In the first part of our conversation on forgiveness, we started with the external expression of forgiveness. More specifically, we focused exclusively on what it means to forgive others. We explored what forgiving others can (and should) look like, what it doesn't look like, and what benefits we reap as a result of leaning more into a mindset that embraces forgiveness.Of course, our ability to forgive others is only one part of the forgiveness equation. Much like other "big life concepts" such as love and happiness, our ability to express and bestow forgiveness to others begins with our ability to find forgiveness and self-compassion within.Today, for the second part of this conversation, we are turning inward to reflect on the importance of forgiving ourselves, as well as what it looks like in practice, and how it helps us propel forward.QUESTIONS WE EXPLOREWhen did George first realize forgiving himself was part of the package deal, so to speak, when it comes to living a life beyond your default?Why do so many people struggle to forgive themselves?What about those moments where we may feel forgiving ourselves isn't enough – we also need the ability to atone or perhaps desire the forgiveness of others?How does our ability to forgive ourselves correlate to our conversation regarding the language we use to talk to ourselves about ourselves? And why does recognizing this connection matter?What are some of the benefits we've experienced as we've learned to be more forgiving with ourselves? And what does the science say?How can we tell the difference between moments when forgiving ourselves is required and when it's not because we've actually done nothing wrong?What does forgiving ourselves look like in practice?What advice does George have to those who are truly struggling to find a way to forgive themselves, perhaps because they feel they are beyond redemption?

Over the past few episode's we've covered a number of fascinating and thought-provoking topics meant to propel us to living a life beyond our default:Maintaining a healthy relationship with our own ego, good ego vs. bad ego, and what to do if we let our ego get the best of us.How important it is to be mindful of the language we use to talk to ourselves about ourselves, and how this can directly impact how we move through the world.Reshaping the role fear plays in our lives based on our unique experiences, so it doesn't become a destructive force.The importance of the relationship we cultivate with ourselves, as well as the relationships we cultivate with others.What's interesting about these topics is that, although they are distinct topics – each very much deserving of their own dedicated and focused conversation – George and I noticed a pattern emerging as we talked through them.⚡ Go Deeper: What does it mean to live Beyond Your Default?At some point, your personal journey tackling each of these opportunities and challenges will involve some element of forgiveness — whether that means we need to forgive someone else or, most of all, we need to forgive ourselves.For instance, the language we use to talk about ourselves to ourselves can skew in a deeply negative way if we don't view ourselves worthy of self-compassion or forgiveness. On the other hand, the quality of relationships with cultivate, nurture, and maintain with others will almost always inevitably require us to forgive others.Because of the complexities of the topic of forgiveness, it's impossible for us to cover it in a single episode. So, over the course of the next two episodes, we will be exploring both sides of forgiveness coin in depth.We begin our adventure into the land of forgiveness a conversation of what it means to truly forgive others, why the forgiveness of others matters, and what it looks like in practice.Questions We ExploreWhy is our ability to forgive others tied so deeply to our ability to live a life that extends us beyond our default?How has George's relationship with forgiving others changed over the years?What are the benefits each of us have realized in our lives as we've integrated a more forgiveness-forward mindset?What disparities do we see between what the true definition of forgiving others and how most folks tend to define it?What makes it's so hard for some of us to truly forgive others?How do we approach sensitive situations (trauma, abuse, etc.) where victims can embrace a forgiveness mindset without needing to absolve or engage with bad actors in their lives?What are the most important questions someone should ask themselves if forgiving others is an area of their lives in which they struggle?

We've spent the past few conversations exploring the our ability to reach beyond our defaults and norms from the perspective of those who struggle to feel good about ourselves, or don't find it easy to trust or bet on ourselves.However, there exists another extreme at the other end of the spectrum. A word that is hotly debated in terms of its worth, as well as how much an overdose of it can be highly problematic in our lives.And that word is EGO.The idea of our ego is highly polarizing. It's hard to hear the word without immediately flinching at an imaginary boardroom supervillain whose ego steamrolls every single person around them ... or those bad first dates where you spend 3 hours listening to someone talk about how amazing they are, without them ever asking you a single question.⚡ Related: What Is Beyond Your Default? (The Start of the Journey)But the reality is that our ego is meant to play a critical role for us mere mortals, when it comes to our psychology. It's the "I" lens through which our life experiences are filtered through – it's how we establish our sense of self. It's only when it's unchecked that we can potentially start running amok in our own lives (and, potentially, the lives of others).So, that's what we're going to tackle in today's episode – the curious case of the good ego vs. the bad ego, how to know when you've gone too far, and what to do when you realize you've grown too big for your britches. George also shares a powerful story involving a motorcycle you won't want to miss. Questions We ExploreWhen you hear the word "ego," what first comes to mind? What are the accurate or flawed assumptions we make about the word?Why does this conversation matter so much when it comes to the idea of living beyond your default?What is the difference between good ego and bad ego? When does our ego play a vital role in our psychology?How do you think well-meaning folks end up trapped on the wrong side of the ego spectrum? Even with the best of intentions, it can happen!What value does your ego still hold for you in every day life ... when you're on the right side of the spectrum?How do you bounce back from trips down the wrong side of ego lane?How do you keep yourself in check now when it comes to your ego? Are there certain questions we ask ourselves to keep ourselves centered?

It doesn't matter whether we consider ourselves introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, or some other yet-to-be-discovered "vert," we humans are social creatures. But the one person we spend the most time talking to isn't our best friend, a parent, or a spouse.Whether we realize it or not, that person we talk to the most is ourselves. Morning, noon, and night — consciously or not consciously; with mental pictures or with an inner dialogue; out loud or with our "inside voices" inside our brains – we are constantly chattering away to ourselves ... often about ourselves.⚡ Related: Good Ego vs. Bad Ego and What to Do When You Need to Tame ItI'll be the first to admit that, when I catch myself talking to myself out loud when I'm by myself, I sometimes worry if I'm crazy. But for those of you out there who may be like me, there's tons of scholarship out there that shows talking to yourself (out loud or to yourself) is a totally normal way and often essential way to process thoughts, feelings, and experiences.Now, if you live alone (like I do), you may be more prone to do this out loud rather than simply in your head. However, the substance of your dialogue with yourself about yourself (referred to as "self-talk" by many) matters quite a bit:Self-reinforcement: "I am prepared for my talk, it will go great tomorrow!"Self-management: "Don't forget to call the bank today."Social assessment: "When I ask him out, he will likely say yes."But what if we don't default to more neutral or positive talk tracks about ourselves?"I sounded ridiculous during that call.""I can't ask him on a date, why would he EVER want to date someone like me?""Of course I forgot to call the bank today. I can't trust myself with anything.""Why did I volunteer for this presentation?! I'm going to make a total fool out of myself.""I'll never amount to anything, why even bother trying?"On its surface, these are just words, right? Not quite.We've talked about this throughout a number of episodes so far, but the language we use to talk to ourselves – particularly about ourselves – is tremendously important. The words we use to describe ourselves and our surroundings dictates how we think about ourselves and our surroundings. From there, our actions take over, in accordance with those thoughts.That's why this week, we're digging into the linguistic relationships we have with ourselves, and how simple shifts in our self-talk can have a massive impact on our ability to live beyond our default.Questions We ExploreHow has George's relationship with the language he uses to talk about himself shifted over the years?What was the turning point that made George realize that the language he was using to talk to himself about himself had a dramatic impact on his life?What do our day-to-day self-talk rituals look like in practice?How do you think well-meaning folks end up trapped on the wrong side of the ego spectrum? Even with the best of intentions, it can happen!When do we find it the most challenging to keep the language we use about ourselves positive? How do we combat those more challenging moments?You talk a lot about everyone having the ability to CHOOSE THEIR DAY based on the language they use – what does that mean?What becomes possible when we are more mindful about the language we use with ourselves?

Everyone has a different relationship with the concept of fear; our own lived experiences shape what kind of role it plays in our lives, as well as how large that role is. Regardless of where on the spectrum we fall with fear, the one thing all we humans have in common is that, fear can all too easily become a destructive force in our lives if we're not careful.The challenge, of course, is that (in the heat of those moments) imagined fears can feel all too real. Fear doesn't come from nowhere, right? We learn to be afraid – right or wrong – through life's trials and tribulations, millennia of biological programming as humans, and (in some cases) real-life traumas that can take years to work through.⚡ Related: The Power of Language to Shape Our DestinyIn some cases, the fear we experience in our lives can come from traumatic experiences or relationships that can take years (even decades) to acknowledge, understand, and overcome. I'll be honest, as I share in this episode, fear is something I struggle with for this precise reason. Before you know it, those moments of crippling doubt and paralyzing anxiety can transition like lightning from a temporary dance with an imagined boogeyman that we move through, to a self-destructive halt in our lives – keeping us confined to "the devil we know," the "default" state that keeps us from truly living. Instead of moving forward, we succumb to fear-driven stories that keep us trapped.This deeply personal and nuanced topic is an important one to have, which is why we knew we had to talk about it. The path each of us walks with fear is a deeply personal one, with certain fears sometimes easier to overcome than others. Let's at least take this first step together, as one. Questions We ExploreWhen was the last time you were afraid to a degree that resulted in self-sabotage or complete paralysis?How would you define your relationship with fear today?One of my favorite things George says about FEAR is actually an acronym: "False Evidence Appearing Real" – and we talk about what that means!Why is it important for us to understand how easy it is to succumb to fear?While there are obviously nuances to how everyone should approach fear in their own lives, based on their experiences, what are some of the ways in which you address bouts of fear in the moment when they come up?Why is the language we use to talk about fear to ourselves so important to moving through fear?How does trauma factor into this discussion, where more than simple self-talk exercises are required to move through the fear traumas can create?