The Power of Language: Choosing Your Words to Shape Your Destiny

It doesn't matter whether we consider ourselves introverts, extroverts, ambiverts, or some other yet-to-be-discovered "vert," we humans are social creatures. But the one person we spend the most time talking to isn't our best friend, a parent, or a spouse.

Whether we realize it or not, that person we talk to the most is ourselves. Morning, noon, and night — consciously or not consciously; with mental pictures or with an inner dialogue; out loud or with our "inside voices" inside our brains – we are constantly chattering away to ourselves ... often about ourselves.

⚡ Related: Good Ego vs. Bad Ego and What to Do When You Need to Tame It

I'll be the first to admit that, when I catch myself talking to myself out loud when I'm by myself, I sometimes worry if I'm crazy. But for those of you out there who may be like me, there's tons of scholarship out there that shows talking to yourself (out loud or to yourself) is a totally normal way and often essential way to process thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Now, if you live alone (like I do), you may be more prone to do this out loud rather than simply in your head. However, the substance of your dialogue with yourself about yourself (referred to as "self-talk" by many) matters quite a bit:

• Self-reinforcement: "I am prepared for my talk, it will go great tomorrow!"
• Self-management: "Don't forget to call the bank today."
• Social assessment: "When I ask him out, he will likely say yes."

But what if we don't default to more neutral or positive talk tracks about ourselves?

• "I sounded ridiculous during that call."
• "I can't ask him on a date, why would he EVER want to date someone like me?"
• "Of course I forgot to call the bank today. I can't trust myself with anything."
• "Why did I volunteer for this presentation?! I'm going to make a total fool out of myself."
• "I'll never amount to anything, why even bother trying?"

On its surface, these are just words, right? Not quite.

We've talked about this throughout a number of episodes so far, but the language we use to talk to ourselves – particularly about ourselves – is tremendously important. The words we use to describe ourselves and our surroundings dictates how we think about ourselves and our surroundings. From there, our actions take over, in accordance with those thoughts.

That's why this week, we're digging into the linguistic relationships we have with ourselves, and how simple shifts in our self-talk can have a massive impact on our ability to live beyond our default.

Questions We Explore

• How has George's relationship with the language he uses to talk about himself shifted over the years?
• What was the turning point that made George realize that the language he was using to talk to himself about himself had a dramatic impact on his life?
• What do our day-to-day self-talk rituals look like in practice?
• How do you think well-meaning folks end up trapped on the wrong side of the ego spectrum? Even with the best of intentions, it can happen!
• When do we find it the most challenging to keep the language we use about ourselves positive? How do we combat those more challenging moments?
• You talk a lot about everyone having the ability to CHOOSE THEIR DAY based on the language they use – what does that mean?
• What becomes possible when we are more mindful about the language we use with ourselves?