Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase!

Episode 47 One of the things that bugs the Flight Attendants most about passengers is that they travel without a pen. It's basically just being unprepared. I was unprepared this month because my digital recorder broke! So I wasn't traveling without a pen I was traveling without a recorder...which is just as bad if you happen to have a podcast. So I wasn't sure I could manage to put together a new episode this month but I used backlog audio to revisit some old topics with new stories. In this episode we have dingbat stories, lost in translation stories, some drama in the air stories and at the end of the episode there is one stew-pendous story! Contact... [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com "So Unprepared For" by Cazuality

Episode 46 Remember the days when Stewardesses were dressed in fabulous uniforms and people dressed up for the event of going on an airplane? I miss the Stewardess title along with the inflight meals and printed timetables. Basically I miss the good old days. I personally still like to be called a Stewardess...or even a... Stew. This show features funny stories where Passengers, Flight Attendants and Pilots all act slightly stew-pid and at the end of the episode there is a truely stew-pendous story! Contact... [email protected] CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! It's all free! Music by www.garageband.com "Not that stupid by Killer Flamingos

Episode 45 A Priest, a Archaeologist and a Appalachian go into a bar....it sounds like a joke doesn't it? Well its actually the people I have managed to offend the most while doing this podcast. I really try not to offend people but sometimes funny stories are offensive to "someone." This episode is full of stories about bodily funtions on the airplane. Some of the anecdotes are slighty offensive so I apologize in advance especially to any Priests, Archaeologists or Appalachians! CONTACT... [email protected] CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! It's all free! Music by www.garageband.com "Sorry" by Christopher Dale

Episode 44 Last week I was on the BBC world service it was such an absurd lead in...it went something like this...A woman in the Congo was raped and forced to kill her own baby and then we hear from Betty who doesn't want to let mobile phones be used inflight?! Talk about strange bedfellows! This show is all about things that just don't go together. We hear stories about cooking while sleeping, volunteer snorkeling and barf to go. Along with stories about things you really don't want to put together...like the huge fat person and the empty airplane seat...next to you! At the end of the episode I play the whole BBC interview! CONTACT... [email protected] CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! It's all free! Music by www.podsafemusic.com "Betty" by The Lavcivious Biddies

Episode 43 An easy day at work is non-eventful, but those days when crazy things happen... while more stressful...make for much better stories. In this show we hear about swearing, puking, panties falling off, a burning smell on the airplane, yelling and at the end of the episode...a ticking bomb! These are some hair-raising stories and then we actually have some hair stories. So...it's a hAIRy episode of Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase! Music by www.garageband.com "Crazy" by Nicola

Episode 42 So...I know what your thinking...Betty the Serious Slayer? Well I was a big fan of the tv show...and Betty and Buffy are both kinda silly names. For many years Airline employees were beaten down, sad and grumpy. But lately things are starting to look alittle brighter. This episode is rapid fire jokes and funny stories...so basically I am tring to slay the serious with some seriously funny stories. I just hope I don't get a wooden stake to the heart for the stupid title (or for offending anyone.) Music by www.garageband.com "Joke Thing" by Talawah

Episode 41 This pilot told me a funny story about why this ditsy Flight Attendant decided to fly and it was so funny that I started to ask other Flight Attendants and pilots why they decided to fly. And sure enough I found alot of funny stories! Later on in the episope I tell why I decided to fly, and at the end of the show a very special passenger shares a story with us. Music by www.garageband.com "Fly" by The Good Sirs

Episode 40 Surprise surprise...this episode features funny airline stories involving coffee, tea and a little romance! People always ask me about the mile high club...so we have one of those stories along with some jolting coffee tales and a few flirtatious travel stories. The picture is of my "Rapa Nui Romeo"! Music by www.garageband.com "Coffee Song" by Dean Krippaehne

Episode 39 For some strange reason people associate air travel with peanuts...people want their peanuts on the airplane. So this show has some funny stories about peanuts along with a bunch of nuts (crazy nutty people)! At the end of the episode I tell my own story of how I was seen as the crazy nut on Easter Island! Music by a great Rapa Nui Band called Matato'a. You can get more information about them at www.matatoa.com

Episode 38 I would like to welcome you aboard episode 38 which is full of outrageous stories in the timeline of a typical flight. We've got a sexy safety demonstration, puke in the first class desserts and tp in the pantyhose! So sit back relax...and enjoy the wild ride! Music by www.garageband.com "Flight 1263" by Loft

Episode 37 It's sort of an understatement to say that Airline Life is Wild as you'll see in this wild episode of Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase! We have wild life stories starring leopards, gorillas, turtles and snakes. Along with just "plane" wild stories Contact... [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com Live on the Wild Side by Damian Grove

Episode 36 This episode could be called Blondes Take Flight... but being a blonde I wanted a non hair color specific term to describe a moment where your alittle slow on the uptake. So this show features some outrageous stories involving lost uniform skirts, burnt shoes and choking on an airline pillow? But don't you worry... the skies are not full of dingbats but anybody can have a dim moment. Music by www.garageband.com "Don't You Worry" by Dean Krippaehne

Episode 35 Ladies and Gentlemen we would like to welcome you aboard Celebrity Express! Hold on to your armrests as we navigate through some turbulent and funny star stories. At the end of the episode I'll tell you about the most impressive passenger I have ever met on the airplane. Music by www.garageband.com "Stars" by Sulphur

Episode 34 In this show we hear about ghosts, angels and unexplained events on the airplane and on layovers. It's basically Airline paranormal if you will...I'm not saying I believe in ghosts or angels...I'm just saying that you never know. Whatever you believe...these are some really good stories! Music... Paranormal Sunrise by Endsville www.endsville.ca or www.garageband.com

Episode 33 This show is jam packed full with hijinks and pranks on the airplane, from the silly to the sublime! Lets get the party started! Music by www.garageband.com Airplane by Sidestreet Blues A special thanks to www.landsend.com for sending me the great suitcase!

Episode 32 Who knew there are so many Airline stories starring our furry friends! In this show we hear about racoons, gorillas, dogs, monkeys, cows, birds and ferrets all flyings the friendly skies. Hang on for a "wild" ride. Music by www.podsafemusic.com "Betty" by the Lavcivious Biddies

Episode 31 I'm just back from Tobago and something I miss when I have a break from work is the Galley Talk. This show has a lot of funny stories from the galley. We hear about the lower galley, famous people in the galley and at the end of the episode... we hear about an experiment on the airplane that had all the passengers cheering! Music by www.garageband.com "Everything Good" by Twintwelve

Episode 30 Like every work environment there are power struggles in the airline industry. You have stand offs between the Flight Attendants and passengers, the Captains and First Officers and Flight Attendants with each other. Now on paper that probably doesn't sound funny...but it really is. At the end of the episode I tell about a Show Down that I regularly have with passengers on the airplane. Music by www.garageband.com "Struggle" by Scott Fisher

Episode 29 I record all types of stories and then I try to find a theme for an episode. Strangely enough a common thread seemed to be stories with people in various stages of undress? So among the underwear and naked stories we hear my own most embarrassing moment and at the end of the episode we hear about a really famous lady in her underwear on the airplane! Music by www.podsafemusic.com "Betty" by The Lavcivious Biddies

Episode 28 Roger...or Roger that...is what a Pilot says all day long. It indicates that a message has been recieved. But...is the message always understood? Are we always on the same page? Words can mean different things to different people which makes for some hilarious stories in the cockpit and the cabin. The end of the episode has a great segment about the Aircraft manufacturer Fokker. Roger? Roger that. Music by www.garageband.com "Cabin to Cockpit" by The Belvederes

Episode 27 I'm sure each and every one of you have funny things happen when you are at work, but Flight Attendants and Pilots average day just seems to have more of them. We hear about the Flight Attendants having to open the door...inflight! Plus alot of wacky airplane lavatory stories and at the end of the show I tell a story about an especially friendly famous gal. Music by www.garageband.com "Flying" by The Catch

Episode 26 An airplane is a "big metal tube" with hundreds of people crammed inside speeding through the sky. Is it any wonder that now and again a passenger goes slightly crazy? We hear of passengers spitting, fighting and generally causing havoc on the airplane. Nothing like alittle violence for the holidays? Don't worry there are plenty of laughs too! The photo is a greeting card made by a fellow Flight Attendant...if your interested in a catalog... e-mail [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com "Crazy" by The Ripple Effect

Episode 25 This show starts off with a bombshell story and ends with a personal bombshell announcement. The middle is chock full of dramatic and funny lightning stories. The photo is a greeting card made by a fellow Flight Attendant...if your interested in a catalog... e-mail [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com "Lightning Strikes" by Chaiko

Episode 24 This episode is chock full of short stories of flight crews acting rather mischievous. We have Flight Attendants pulling pranks on Pilots, a prisoner making a run for it, a mistaken rocket launch...plus some simply zany behavior! The photo is a greeting card that another flight attendant makes, if your interested in a catalog contact [email protected] Contact... [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com "Everything Good" by Twintwelve

Episode 23 What do contrails, hound dogs, fretless monsters, bjillionaires, low cut dresses and lisping pregnant women have in common? They are all featured in this potluck episode of Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase. And the last story...all I can say is...Ohhhh Baby! Contact... [email protected] Music by www.podsafemusic.com "Betty" by The Lavcivious Biddies

Episode 22 If you've ever seen the TV show "Lost" you've seen the model perfect gorgeous passengers of TV's parallel universe. But in reality people on the aircraft are alot more diverse than that...which is actually rather wonderful. This episode features stories about a group of monks, a drunk priest, a "gay" passenger and a rather large gentleman getting stuck in the aircraft lavatory. Music from www.garageband.com "Wonderful" by DavidWilliam

Episode 21 What is a Bellringer you ask? A Bellringer is a type of airline passenger who rings and rings the flight attendant call bell... and can't associate the the action of pushing the button and the resulting ding! We hear about alot of bellringers...some dingbat Flight Attendants... and at the end of the episode we hear a story that is a real "headbanger"! Contact... [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com Warning Bells by romaniacs

Episode 20 This show has great stories about crewmembers and passengers who are shall we say "colorful" or "interesting"! At the end of the episode we actually have an ax wielding Captain! Contact... [email protected] Music by www.garageband.com "Strange People" by FBW You might want to listen to Joe Deon interview me on "Fly With Me" at www.flywithjoe.com it's in Episode 13. Joe sets the podcasting bar very high... he always does a fantastic show.

Episode 19 This show has one witch story and then it is nonstop celebrity stories. Starring Arnold Palmer, Elvis, Russell Crowe, Little Richard, Jamie Lee Curtis, John Travolta, Andre the Giant and Robert Redford. And at the end of the episode we hear from a non famous but really impressive passenger just back from Iraq. Music by www.garageband.com "Walk of Fame" by Bad Mama Jamas

Episode 18 Flight Attendants and Pilots spend a lot of time in hotel rooms and this episode brings us stories of hotel burglars...strange things lost and found in hotel rooms...and a couple naked hotel room incidents. When your traveling... it's always good to watch your back! Then at the end of the episode we hear from a famous passenger who was kind enough to share a funny story with me. Music by www.garageband.com "Flying" by The Catch

Episode 17 This episode features funny stories of kids on the plane. The title is in reference to the upcoming movie that is getting great press..."Snakes on a Plane." Actually one of the stories has kids and snakes on a plane. CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! Music by garageband.com "Kids Rock" by Blue Fox & the Rockin'D

Episode 16 In this episode we hear scary stories. Some are funny scary and others are truely scary like the captain having a heart attack inflight. And the last story...well...it's the bomb! Music by www.garageband.com "Bombs Away" by Toke Squaly

Episode 15 In this episode we hear funny stories about generalizations about all types of different people.. and ask...can't we all just get along? Music by garageband.com "Everything Good" performed by Twintwelve (I really like their music!)

Episode 14 This episode brings us stories from the air...we have some swearing in the air, a cat and a mouse in the air, some pilot competitions and a truely embarassing moment in the air. At the end of the episode we hear the second part of the fighter pilot's first hand account of ejecting out of his f-18 aircraft! Music by garageband.com "Air" by Gertrude

Episode 13 Because of the amount of time Flight Attendants and Pilots spend in flying...alot happens in the air. In this episode we about... love in the air, being lost in the air, and needing a doctor in the air. Then at the end of the episode we hear a first hand account of a fighter pilot ejecting out of his F-18...now that's what I call drama in the air! Music by garageband.com "Air" by Gertrude

Episode 12 People are strange, a little odd and crazy. We hear about some strange passengers, an odd pilot and then I tell one of my favorite travel stories. You will probably think I'm crazy after you hear this story of a camel trek in the Sahara desert where we lost our camels and were stranded with some randy locals in the middle of the sand dunes. [email protected] Music by garageband.com "Strange People" by FBW

Serendipity Episode 11 This episode brings us stories about moments in life that are not easily explained. We hear about a possible UFO sighting and some fateful moments on the aircraft. At the end of the episode I tell you about my date with fate on the airplane! [email protected] Music by the very talented Jamie Angelise!

Episode 10 Birthday Suit! In this episode we hear about a pilot in his birthday suit, a few passengers in the buff and a flying santa suit. At the end of the episode I share a few touching listener e-mails. CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! [email protected] Music by Garageband.com Christmas by Joe Perri

Episode 9, Crews Behaving Badly! In this episode we hear witty responses to problem passengers along with Pilot and Flight Attendant pranks and an update on my trip to Kuwait. Music by garageband.com Betty 5 0 by Automatics

Episode 8 Lost in Translation Funny stories about communication issues from the cockpit, the tower and in the cabin. At the end of the episode I'll have some exciting news! Music by Pod Safe Music Network "Crack the Sky" by Joe Campbell

Episide 7 "Security" This episode is about all types of security. We hear about some Canadian Mounted Police, a prisoner needing escorts, and delve into security post 9-11. At the end of the episode we hear an elequent statement from a retired Airline Captain! Music by garageband.com "Taking a Ride in An Airplane" by Pat Bateman

Episode 6..."Airplane Safari" Funny stories of animals in the cabin, celebs with their animals and my favorite animal from my African safari. CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES! Music from garageband.com "She" performed by Round 2

Episode 5. This eposode has fighter pilot stories mixed in with blonde moments. And at the end of the episode I tell one of my blonde moments where I jumped off a moving train in Morocco! Be sure to check out Fly With Me at www.flywithjoe.com there is a episode about the recent Jet Blue emergency landing with actual audio from the cockpit! Music by Garage Band...Paper Airplane by Something Else. Contact [email protected]

Full Circle!! Episode 4 This episode has some very funny stories that are ever so slightly off color or politically incorrect. We hear about some bodily functions, some ethnic stereotypes, and then a story at the end that brings everything full circle. Music by garage band...Rainbow by Laura Seiverling and Colors of the Rainbobw by Tommy Daniel Honles. Contact... [email protected]

Episode 3 How's the water? In this episode we travel to Maui to hear about a pesky shark and an angry turtle. We also venture to Kenya, Israel, and then off to Egypt to hear about an amazing dolphin encounter. Music from the TV show Firefly that will become a movie due out Sept 30th called Serenity. Contact... [email protected]

Episode 2 DISASTER LIGHT My own story of being smack dab in the middle of a natural disaster! Along with an explosion and 2, yes 2, wacky highjacker stories! Music by Garage Band...Hijacker by The Daybreakers and Paper Airplane by Something Else Contact... [email protected]

My first episode..."Monkeys and Tigers and Ghosts...Oh my!!" In this episode we hear about some troublesome monkeys in Bali, some bugs and bats in Belize , a dead guy in first class, and then back to India for tigers and ghosts! Music by Garage Band "Silver Plated" by Geoff Byrd "Traveling On" by Nathan Sheppard Band "Airplane" by Side Street Blues "Big Jet Airplane" by Steep Canyon Rangers "Travel" by Sara Thomas "Paper Airplane" by Something Else Contact... [email protected]