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Why Don't We Get Better?
Season 3 · Episode 240

Why Don't We Get Better?

Forrest is joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we often struggle to change in the ways that matter the most to us, how much change is realistically possible, what makes change hard, the hidden barriers to real change, and what we can do to overcome them.

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson · Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

January 2, 202356m 4s

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Show Notes

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills. 

On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:55: Why do you want to change?

4:50: Four fundamental strategies

7:00: Three common issues

9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck

12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not

13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself

17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs

24:15: Levity and affection for yourself

27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior

30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change

34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame

39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies

42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing

46:40: Recap

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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