Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimers 3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy 7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior 16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence 22:35: Being careful about labeling people 28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality 33:10: Boundaries and safety 38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship 42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication 49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people 55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations 59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself 1:02:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair. This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety 4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs 12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships 19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic 26:55: Communicating from the heart 32:40: Emotional validation 35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship 44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm 50:35: The power of choice in relationships 56:35: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into the mailbag, and answer questions from listeners focused on working with anxiety in ourselves and our relationships. They start with a question that’s essential to the podcast as a whole: is it possible to be too preoccupied with personal growth? Rick talks about how to manage the desire for approval, offering strategies to foster self-acceptance and healthier self-validation, before Forrest shares his own journey with finding the right amount of try-hard. They then discuss how to create more collaborative decisions in relationships. Additional topics include self-motivation and peak performance, working with diverse needs, and diagnostic “scope creep.” You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Am I too preoccupied with self-help and personal growth? 11:20: How do I address my unquenchable thirst for approval? 27:15: How can I tell if I’m actually doing my best? 36:40: How do I advocate for more collaborative decision making with my partner? 54:15: How does the brain’s natural pursuit of novelty balance with its desire for safety? 1:03:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest dives into cognitive bypassing - a common strategy many of us use to avoid feeling difficult emotions - with trauma therapist Simone Saunders. Simone and Forrest discuss the connection between cognitive bypassing and trauma before exploring somatic tools that can help us avoid an endless cycle of overthinking, and fully process our experiences. They focus on the “freeze” and “fawn” stress responses, and talk about how these responses can impact our relationships and everyday interactions. The conversation widens from there to include topics like letting go of unhealthy relationships, navigating the shame that can come with self-awareness, working through triggers, finding more agency, and changing our models of conflict. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: What’s cognitive bypassing? 5:55: Somatic approaches, and widening the window of tolerance 18:10: The freeze and fawn responses 22:25: Grieving letting go of unhealthy relationships 26:20: Shame, the problem with self-awareness, and identifying your values 35:35: How to move through “first contact” with our triggers 38:05: Feeling connected to others 41:55: Agency, and being embodied in a relationship 47:30: Changing how we see conflict 51:15: Grief as self-awareness, and expressing ourselves 57:25: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest tackle the mental health challenges new parents face, focusing particularly on maintaining a strong relationship between partners. They get real about their relationship, and Rick offers practical strategies for "resetting" with your partner during stressful times. They then talk about different approaches to parenting, and how to find a healthy balance of authority, aspiration, and nurturance. Whether you’re navigating the path of parenthood, reflecting on your relationship with your own parents, or just looking to gain some insight into the father-son dynamic, this episode has something for everyone. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Did becoming a dad change Rick’s relationship with his parents? 5:05: What advice would Rick give a younger version of himself? 8:45: Biological stressors, and the mental health challenges of young parents 17:00: Maintaining closeness with your children while working 21:40: How to “reset” with your partner 32:15: Savoring the good times 35:35: Authority, aspiration, and nurturance 44:30: Parenting the child you have, and emotional regulation 51:10: Recognizing that kids are not tiny adults 57:55: Staying consistent 1:00:30: How to practice for becoming a parent 1:03:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying? 11:45: A typical response to the state of the world 17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is 25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity 32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute 39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others 44:20: Accepting impermanence 49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection 54:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals. About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Defining perfectionism 6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving 12:40: The five types of perfectionists 21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short 28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism 34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work 38:10: The difference between power and control 44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection 49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships 54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success 1:07:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are. They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process. Hope you enjoy it! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know 4:30: Individuation 12:05: Some examples of shadow material 18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow? 23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities 26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts 32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow 38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity 46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them 55:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations. They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap 3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses? 10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy 14:20: Setting the tone 20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks 24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance 31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests 38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth 41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves 43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism 47:40: Managing frustration 53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware? 1:01:35: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like you knew yourself a little too well? While self-awareness is usually helpful, it can sometimes lead to overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and self-consciousness. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do if we feel like we’re “too self-aware.” They begin by identifying some of the issues that can arise with self-awareness, differentiating it from self-consciousness, and highlighting how conflict between different parts can stop us from becoming who we want to be. They then discuss how developing ego strength can help us become more authentic and free in our behavior. Rick then guides Forrest through a role-play exercise aimed at reducing self-consciousness and social anxiety, and addressing parts of ourselves we may not like. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Can we be "too self-aware?" 3:55: Three ways self-awareness can cause problems, and four stages of growth 8:25: Outside-in vs. inside-out change, and self-consciousness 14:20: Authenticity, feeling stuck, and internalizing judgment 18:45: Ego strength, and what helps people navigate overwhelm 29:10: What not to do, and a roleplay example with Forrest 35:00: Showing interest in others, and rumination 40:15: More roleplay with Forrest, anxiety, overanalysis, and shame 53:25: Qualities we like and can embrace about an exiled part 1:01:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

About 30% of people will experience depression at some point in their lives, and most of us know what a depressed mood feels like. Because depressive episodes are common, there’s no lack of good advice out there. But depression is so challenging in part because it attacks our ability to do anything about it. Depression saps our energy, is demotivating, and makes it difficult to actually put that good advice into practice. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do about this, and how we can break out of an episode of depressed mood. They start by talking about what causes depression, introduce the biopsychosocial model, and identify an overall framework for most depressive episodes. Rick and Forrest then explain the vicious cycle of depressed mood before focusing on what a person can do practically to break the cycle. Topics include identifying mindsets, changing how we interpret information, fully experiencing our emotions, rumination and ruminatory processes, taking in the good, and creating openness to possibility. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Distinguishing a depressed mood from MDD 7:25: Causes of depression 12:00: Absolutist beliefs and self-compassion 17:45: The paradox of motivation, and small ways to break the cycle 24:20: Fully experiencing your feelings, and emotional release 30:05: Discerning between thoughts and experiences 38:30: Rumination, finding evidence of positive change, and interoception 42:50: Recognizing what you don’t know, being receptive to love, and simply being 52:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it. Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: What we can (and can’t) change 4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked? 9:00: Seeing what’s true 15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting 29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt 36:35: Secondary gains 46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown 50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us 55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs 1:04:00: Authentically being you 1:06:55: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open the mailbag and answer questions focused on strengthening our relationships. They explore how we can support friends and loved ones who are experiencing depression while also caring for ourselves, managing different levels of capacity within a relationship, maintaining self-worth and trust in the context of body image insecurities, and navigating the often tricky dynamics of a partner’s relationship with their ex. The episode closes with Rick and Forrest sharing how they’ve handled repair in their parent/child relationship, and what we can do to manage anxieties about the future. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Establishing boundaries with a loved one who is depressed 11:00: Managing different levels of capacity in a relationship 16:45: Body image insecurity, and trusting that others love us 31:45: How do I navigate my partner's relationship with their ex? 42:15: I’m nervous that as my child ages they’ll blame me for my parenting. What can I do? 1:02:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If we want to accomplish something in life it usually takes a combination of motivation and consistency - in other words, discipline. Discipline is both essential…and shockingly hard to develop. In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can become more disciplined. They talk about whether discipline came naturally to Rick, and the lessons we can learn from his journey with discipline. Key topics include how to make even frustrating tasks rewarding, the relationship between discipline and self-concept, how to identify key wants, needs, and aspirations, and learning to feel good when we do good. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Rick’s personal history with cultivating discipline 5:45: Finding reward in necessary tasks 17:50: Engaging in your life, and knowing what you really care about 22:35: The power of your self-concept 31:45: Breaking things down into small parts 36:45: Motivation, distress tolerance, and meta-motivation 46:35: Getting out of a negative mindset, and finding what works for you 54:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being. They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness 8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up 12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation 16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality 24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest 33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense 44:00: Navigating shame and guilt 50:15: Distress tolerance 57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets 1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness 1:10:45: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: What the fawn response looks like 9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt 11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning? 20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn 36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression 41:25: The fawn response in relationship 46:40: Becoming your own source of safety 52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts 1:01:50: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner. I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness 4:25: Me, you, and us 13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself 16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability 23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space 33:05: Learning how to support your partner 37:40: Five different styles of relationship 40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion 45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively 49:30: Simply liking your partner I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent. If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at [email protected]. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do? 13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship? 26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way? 39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others? 45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent? 58:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want. Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action 6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting 15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction 25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural 32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here. 32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind 38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide 48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort 54:55: How to change a negative belief 1:08:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out. I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful 5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort 12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks 16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking 26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses 33:30: Graduated exposure 39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change 44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee 54:25: Responding to anxiety 1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape 1:08:40: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.” You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: The useful aspects of anger 5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response 8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger 13:40: Navigating resentment 21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger 32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature 35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment 39:45: Going from complaint to request 43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger 52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed 54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves 59:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well 7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you 14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies 20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy 21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious 23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement 25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself 29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs 36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences 41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking 46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching 52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working 1:02:15: The role of client motivation 1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist 1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement 1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients 1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting 1:21:20: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame. Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault. About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book 6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter 10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma 16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it 20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc 23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work 28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner 30:35: Tenderness 34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories 39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety 43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing 46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion 49:45: Living by dying 52:15: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair 7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency 12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present 18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves 28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle 32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds 38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past 41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences 45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had 57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being 1:02:00: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What is emotional immaturity? 7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms 14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers 18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy 25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self 29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood 41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self 50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships 56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance 1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base 1:06:20: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more. About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s 4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities 8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world 14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication 23:25: The “strength of weak ties” 27:20: Self-concept and identity capital 30:30: What helps people take action 34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety 41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved 46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck 49:20: How to choose purpose 58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s 1:04:45: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail. They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Understanding stress responses 9:05: Stress responses in relationship 15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing 19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice 23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation 30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard 38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study 53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety 1:02:55: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational? 11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts? 21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system? 39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT? 55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through? 1:05:10: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Soonsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s 4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action 8:00: Embrace mentorship 13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values 21:30: Try things, and let yourself change 24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships) 27:35: Identify useful feedback 31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure 36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results 38:25: Focus on where you have agency 44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values 46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like 47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self 49:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Common features of self-abandonment 12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen 16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism 21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others 33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity 40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense 50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness 55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs 58:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer. Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains. About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit. Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program 6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior 11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower 18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring 24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning 31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise 36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating 44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer 52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception 57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer 1:07:45: Caring for our future self 1:11:30: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client 6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences 9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts 16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation 23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client 29:10: Titration and traumatic release 33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult” 40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client 46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns 49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices 53:55: Finding a supportive community 57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity 58:55: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it. About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages 5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability 11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics 19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships 25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker 33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change 36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs 41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met 46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time 48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood 52:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it. About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book 7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you 12:05: Dealing with shame 14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions 24:40: Believing in your experience 27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD 31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation 36:05: Creating a sense of community 39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD 47:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one! Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire 11:30: The story craving tells us 15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking 21:15: “21st century problems” 25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire 29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom 35:20: The search for the slightly better experience 42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here 47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience 59:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important skills we can learn: how we can become more aware of all the parts of our experience, avoid being captured by any one of them, and work with those parts more skillfully. One of the key tools we have for accomplishing this is vedanā, or the “feeling tone” of our experience. Author and meditation teacher Dr. Danny Penman joins the show to explore the role of vedanā, how we can help our brain interpret the world more accurately, and practical tools for relaxing suffering and enjoying life. About our Guest: Danny Penman is a meditation teacher, an award-winning writer and journalist, and the co-author of the classic Mindfulness with Dr. Mark Williams. Dr. Williams was one of the original creators of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mark and Danny are back with the new book Deeper Mindfulness: The New Way to Rediscover Calm in a Chaotic World. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: How a major injury started Danny’s professional relationship with mindfulness practice 10:45: Vedanā, and unpacking the different aspects of our experience 18:20: The sensations that precede our thoughts 24:45: How the brain creates a model of reality, and whether that model is accurate 29:40: How an undisciplined relationship with feeling tone creates unnecessary suffering 37:00: Accepting a feeling vs. approving of a situation 44:10: Practical steps to feeling our feelings 48:00: Finding enjoyment in new habits, especially somatically 57:50: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. How can we understand and support someone going through a mental health crisis? Is meditation enough to heal trauma? And what can we do about family members that just won’t change? You’ll learn why offering help isn’t always helpful, how to deal with unskillful feedback, and approaches that help with setting and achieving long-term goals. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: Question #1 - How can I support a friend who is going through a mental health crisis? 7:10: What’s a “psychotic break,” and being careful with clinical terminology. 12:00: Question #2 - Is it possible to heal trauma through meditation alone? 20:25: Question #3 - How do I start again when I’ve fallen off the wagon? 27:30: Question #4 - Is feedback necessary for growth? And what kind of feedback is helpful? 33:10: Question #5 - How can I improve my relationship with money? 42:20: Question #6 - I’m very frustrated with a family member who just won’t change their bad behavior. What can I do? 54:05: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, to explore how we can integrate all the aspects of who we are. They explain the IFS model, the nature of parts and their roles, and how we can use this knowledge to increase self-awareness and deal with common problems. Then Rick and Dr. Schwartz dive deep into the nature of the “Self,” where it comes from, and how we can tune into and strengthen it. This was a wide-ranging conversation, and we were thrilled to have Dr. Schwartz on the podcast again. You won’t want to miss this one. About our Guest: Dr. Richard “Dick” Schwartz is the creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, and has authored a number of books and over fifty articles focused on IFS. His newest book is No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Quick explanation of the IFS Model 6:45: Releasing the “Self” 11:10: Where does the Self come from? 16:00: How the practical side of IFS connects to the spiritual 23:20: The four goals of IFS, and parts of parts 26:15: Becoming your own attachment figure 32:15: Richard’s experience integrating his exiled parts 37:25: Personification in IFS. Why think in terms of “parts”? 46:15: Why befriend our “bad” parts? 49:55: The non-pathologizing nature of IFS in a clinical framework 55:25: First and second darts 57:15: Identifying parts with curiosity, courage, and physical awareness 1:03:25: How asking yourself questions gets you in touch with your intuition 1:12:45: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Forrest and Dr. Buqué talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. They focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns. About our Guest: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like The Today Show and Good Morning America. She’s the author of the new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and host of the podcast by the same name. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: What drew Mariel to this work 10:25: How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma 17:00: Common patterns of her clients 20:00: Most people’s initial motivation to find healing 24:45: Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems 33:20: Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns 39:40: Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve 44:05: Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you 47:40: Creating an intergenerational trauma tree 55:00: Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open 58:00: The shortcomings of the western medical outlook 1:00:45: Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response 1:06:15: Values and healthy pride 1:08:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest kick off 2024 by exploring how we can relate to the past, plan for the future, and get more from the year ahead. They talk about different approaches to New Years, the tactics that maximize your chances of achieving a goal, and a simple four question system for reflecting on and learning from the year that was. You'll learn how to create useful resolutions, put 2023 into perspective, and set yourself up for success in the year to come! Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Rick's approach to New Year’s resolutions 4:05: Going from being to doing to having 10:15: Four questions to ask yourself around the New Year 22:00: A S.M.A.R.T. way to put New Year’s resolutions into form 25:45: Bottom-up intentions, and the feeling of a completed intention 29:15: Trying different somatic cues for embodying an intention 32:00: Finding your allies, not oversharing your goals, and physically declaring priorities 40:45: Getting on your own side 51:40: Recap You can watch this episode on YouTube. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Elizabeth welcome listeners into their home to talk about their changing relationship with the holidays, letting go of the past, healthy boundaries, glimmers, and different paths to taking in the good. Along the way they talk about different approaches to working with trauma, connecting with the body, and getting on our own side. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Elizabeth’s history with the holidays, and claiming your own rituals 5:20: Experiencing the holidays without an agenda 10:15: Glimmers in Polyvagal Theory 14:10: Working with a challenging relationship history 21:35: Somatic psychology, and respecting the mind 28:40: Regulating through movement 31:55: Staying yourself inside of your family 38:45: Enjoying agency, and emphasizing beauty 42:30: Entrapment and defeat, awareness, and saying no 47:15: Attachment, contracting around desire, and taking a moment for yourself 51:20: A practice of finding glimmers 55:35: Self-compassion and camaraderie during the holidays Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick joins Forrest for a deep dive into harnessing our natural generativity. How can we become more productive and creative, experience greater satisfaction, and lean into our biological drives to get more of what we want out of life? They explore what a drive is, our natural drive states, and what we can learn from models of motivation like self-determination theory, before moving on to what we can do if generativity doesn’t come naturally to us. Rick and Forrest share how we can lean into enjoyable experiences, feel more competent and autonomous, and learn to brave experiences of failure. The second half of the episode focuses on psychological tools that help us activate, enjoy, and hang out in generative states more often. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Rick's ability to stay generative. 3:25: Motivation, aggression, and our interdependence with others 12:10: A theoretical framework for generative drive 14:50: The process of making something as a form of healing 19:30: Confidence, autonomy, and relatedness 23:55: The way we think of ourselves 28:10: Agency, and what we can and cannot influence 34:30: Comfort with aggression 40:55: Work ethic, the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding your why 47:45: Competency and flow 50:55: Having positive associations with effort 57:10: Enriching vs. absorbing our experience 1:01:30: The little things that make a big difference 1:04:30: Recap Sponsors: Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re getting toward the end of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to evaluate where we are and where we’d like to go. On today's episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can step out of the way we've been, and into a new way of thinking, doing, and being. They talk about self-concept, unconscious beliefs, and how those beliefs affect our behavior. Forrest then shares a model of what this kind of change tends to look like practically, which usually includes relax our attachment to the things that are holding us back. Other topics include getting down to "the tip of the root," taking a step back from our narratives, challenging limiting beliefs, taking life less personally, working with discouragement, and finding motivation and drive. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: Self-concept, how unconscious beliefs affect behavior, and freedom 5:40: Appraisals and attributions 9:35: The way we spin our self-narrative, and holding onto grievances 14:25: Being honest with ourselves when we feel stuck 19:30: Changing behavior before changing thinking 25:15: Values and behaviors 29:05: Underlying fears and practical confusion 33:50: Taking your experiences less personally 36:05: Finding the motivation to get our hands dirty 41:30: Negativity bias and appreciative inquiry 47:45: First steps when you’re feeling discouraged 56:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict). About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths 7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity 11:05: Not giving away your power 14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships 18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations 22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse 27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation 31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes 34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions 38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’ 41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs 45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves 49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance 51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’ 55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences 1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility 1:03:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon or send it in to [email protected]. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?” 12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair? 22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them? 28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do? 34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive? 40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? 55:15: Recap Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In one of the most interesting conversations we've ever had on the podcast, Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma. They begin with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before Forrest asks him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham then takes them away from the conceptual, and toward the felt. They talk about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shares about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual. About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book What My Bones Know. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Jacob’s background 5:20: Cultivating a felt sense of connection vs. idolizing the concept of trauma 11:00: A monastic, medical, and artistic approach 13:00: Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist 18:00: Surrendering to overwhelming grief 23:50: Love, vulnerability, and authenticity 29:45: The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility 34:45: Presence, and taking risks as a clinician 40:40: How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual 46:15: Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon 49:25: Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma? 52:30: Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever 56:20: Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help 1:00:15: Tipping points and surrender 1:04:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun. If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: What makes the holidays tough? 5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you 14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude 24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation 26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries 32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes 38:50: Getting through when it’s hard 43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up 47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest 51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss 1:01:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer. About our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) 5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states 12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body 19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work 23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation 27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically 30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe 34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person 37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues 39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world 41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization 43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment 47:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient. About our Guest: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at The New York Times and the author of a number of wonderful books including The Practice of Groundedness and his most recent book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Brad has come to think about change 3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis 6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility 13:00: Creating a more flexible identity 20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’ 24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego 28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight 34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change 39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress 41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process 45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy 49:20: Expecting discomfort 51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner 55:05: Values and perspectives 1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle 1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves 1:04:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important decisions we’ll make in life: the choice to become a parent. They focus on what good parenting looks like in practice, the key difference in thinking of a child as a “means” or an “end,” and how to know whether becoming a parent is the right path for you. Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: The significance (and uniqueness) of this choice 4:50: Being aware of your motivations for having a child 16:55: The influence of primal biology 20:50: Qualities of a good parent 30:30: Mirroring, idealizing, twinship, and the process of differentiation 36:35: Optimal frustration, and a healthy parental work ethic 41:25: The rewards of being a parent 46:45: If you don’t like __ you shouldn’t become a parent 48:50: A word for current parents who wish things had been different 53:00: Community, partnership, and resources 55:10: Meaning and fulfillment with or without a child 1:00:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices