Disorganized Attachment: Heal By Embracing Your Needs
Dr. Rick and I explore disorganized, or “fearful,” attachment. This complex style occurs when emotional intimacy and distance both feel uncomfortable, and typically arises based on difficult life experiences. We unpack why this attachment pattern forms, what it feels like on the inside, and how it can change over time. Dr. Rick explains how to break the Catch-22 of disorganized attachment, and how fully embracing and expressing your needs can be the key to finding stability. Topics include hypersensitivity, repression, experiencing out, self-regulation, and why "boring" relationships can be transformative.
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson · Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson
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Show Notes
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore disorganized, or “fearful,” attachment. This complex style occurs when emotional intimacy and distance both feel uncomfortable, and typically arises based on difficult life experiences. They unpack why this attachment pattern forms, what it feels like on the inside, and how it can change over time. Dr. Rick explains how to break the Catch-22 of disorganized attachment, and how fully embracing and expressing your needs can be the key to finding stability. Topics include hypersensitivity, repression, experiencing out, self-regulation, and why "boring" relationships can be transformative.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:20: How attachment theory developed, and how it has evolved
11:20: How attachment styles shift based on life experience
15:25: Social environment and internal reliability
23:55: The catch 22 of healing disorganized attachment
29:35: Leveraging coping mechanisms for healing
32:20: Hypersensitivity and embracing your need for attunement
39:50: Repression, and experiencing out
45:45: Recognizing what’s true, and how reality is reliable
48:25: Caring for the body, and innate self-love
53:45: Unique therapeutic approaches to disorganized attachment styles
55:25: Embracing what you really want, and creating a coherent narrative
58:40: Bottom-up self-regulation, self-trust, and internalizing positive feedback
1:04:20: When stable relationships are “boring”
1:06:55: Self-respect and freedom in communication
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